(2011/12) Dec 2011

Stardust>> the pain shifted above my uterus.. [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/sad.gif] ard my left tummy area. I hv a cyst on my left ovary but visited 2 gynaes, they both said it's harmless.. I'm gng to a new gynae tml cos current one veri exp. Let's see wat he says. I juz hope it doesn't affect the growth of my bb.



Wendy>> I'm seeing dr Tham from tmc for the first time tml.

 


Stardust25..you make me more envious..you are reaching 2nd Trimester[IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif]..I had a mc previously during nov 2008..then now conceive thru IVF.[IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif]I truly believe that a family is only completed if we are blesses with kids..



Honestly..my prayers were not answer though..but we had been visiting alot of gynae & Chinese Sinseh...We spent alot just hoping to have a baby..the route is tough..but as much as possible..i hope it will be completed..



I have 1 shih tzu.n the other 5 r mixed breed..haha..we call them bull shih..coz cross with bulldog n shih tzu.they are the kind of my shih tzu n grandchild of my shih tzu..previously i have 8..1 died of old age..17yr-japanese chin n the other is 7yrs die of cancer..sad..[IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/sad.gif]..mini Shaunzer..tink i spell it wrgly..

 
Missus BL...get more opinion ok..I think th cyst is fine..as long as not on uterus i tink should be ok..u see..TIE..aso got 2 cysts but in the end the cysts are gone..[IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif]



Since you have such problem,it is best to get a experienced n attentive dr who attend to you at all times..Just like my case..[IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/sad.gif] spent so much $$..but no choice..main objective is to bring back a healthy baby home..[IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif] Jiayou..

 
missus BL: Great that your mother can help you. Less conflict than if its MIL. =)



What's the size of your cyst? You discovered it during your first u/s? As i mentioned, sometimes the cysts develop due to pregnancy and will gradually disappear or if the size is small (</= 3cm), you can ignore it. Hopefully you can find a gynae that you are comfortable with and reasonable charges.



While the cysts seem to be gone, I'm just teeny weeny bit concerned in case its coz the u/s quality not very good yesterday. Dr mentioned best time to remove if necessary is at week 14. Hence I have scheduled my next checkup at beginning of week 14 to make sure they are all cleared (or < 3cm) to be safe.

 
TIE..you r rite..i also find the U/S abit blur too last Friday than normal day..haha..got to get dr roland to do calibration liao[IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif]..



TIE...i think you are fine..coz if the Cyst is big it should still be visible loh..just reconfirm again with him again..[IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif]

 
Morn all



Me dragging myself to work. Feeling ms and very weak. Sometimes no ms but still feel body very weak. Anyone feeling the same?



Been taking metoclopramide (anti-vomit) everyday. Dr Adrian says is not harmful for Bb but I'm kinda worried. If don't take, I cannot take it.



Sob sob



Worried this ms n weakness will stick to me even after first trimester. [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/sad.gif]

 
Wendy/ Tie>> my cyst is found way b4 I was preg...

Its abt 2mm big & won't affect on my fertility then. Now that I'm preg, it will not affect my bb too.. But I wanna minimize such chances cos we nv know.... Think after today's consultation, I will finalize my gynae. So he will know ky situation right from the stretch & I dun hv to repeat it. :p



Decmummy>> me too! So sick that I wanna skip work..!

I can't focus during mtg now [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/sad.gif] I dare not to take anti vomit pill cos swallowing such pills make me wanna puke more!



Last night I dreamt that I lost my bb!! Cant detect it on u/s or something... Scared the sh*t outta me!! Such dream better stay away from me & do not come true!!!!!

 
Hi kimiko,



Do u rem if the nurse at Kkh said we can get our result for Oscar on the day of the scan? I thought so but can't rem.... Getting nervous as the day approaches....

 
same same... back ache too... haizzz.... my doc gave me vit B6 to prevent vomit....



can't imgaine how i am going to survive the 1st trimester, or rather until this bad ms ends

 
Wendy - wah, you have a large brood of dogs! I always believe kindhearted pple will be blessed and animal lovers all hv a heart of gold...so jiayou! healthy and bouncy bb on the way! For me, I just feel very lucky that once I stopped birth control, I cld conceive -esp when my health super lousy and hubby also had some issues earlier. So I'm very thankful and really want to see this pregnancy through [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif]



Missus BL - yah, get a 2nd opinion and meanwhile, dont worry too much. I had pretty bad cramps a couple of weeks back but now nothing liao. As for dreaming, I had horrible and ridiculous nightmares too. Woke up crying some nights. Tink preggy ladies dream more cos of our worries and disturbed sleep.



Decmum - yah, i feel weak on certain days esp when not so much MS e.g. yday and v breathless. Every day different pattern - MS, gastric, no appetite, breathless......hopefully will subside soon as we end first trimester.



I'm taking the Oscar test today...but will only know results much later.....gynae travelling...keeping fingers crossed. For those who did earlier, your test results out yet?

 
relations with in laws can be 'fun'...i dun even feel like going home sometimes and it's such a chore to go home n have dinner with them...



at least my own parents i can tell them...and they know what i like and what i don't...now everyday i have to do things i dun like just cos they are staying there...dun even feel like my home...

 
aiya now ur wife preggy... ren yi dian...



u can find some time to talk with ur wife also... when she feels better after all the ms... tell her how u feel etc....

 
Morning Ladies..[IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif][IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif]



for those have ms, just take it as good sign as bb is growing, that will make us feel better. maybe try to think that in few mths later, we will carry our baby oin our arm, all those ms are worth it.



recently i'm reading 七田真(schicida) book abt 胎教。 I found that his bok very interesting and useful. maybe you all might want to have a look, can borrow from library.

 
Morning all! Been away from the computer for the long weekend and overwhelmed by all the new posts! Heh...



Ohhh 胎教! Does the book say starting when the bb will actually know that we are talking to it? Sometimes I will touch my tummy and say stuff to my bb, but dunno if too early for bb to know? Also, I keep watching those hk drama serials now about murder cases. Sekaly too morbid and affect character of bb!

 
yallo,

Yes!! According to the book, we can actually talk to bb when we knew that we r pregnant. at 1st, we must tell bb 'to grow healthy till they born." and 'use own strength to born into this world."



I been addicted to online game nowsday..

 
@Dawn, my wife knows the situation. There was a period of about 3 months I never had dinner at home. But i tahan most of the time cos i know if i do anything drastic she will be the one who hurt most when caught between me and her parents.



i knew there will be problems when staying with parents (no matter which side) so i always wanted to stay on our own (but near to parents, like few bus stops or few blks away) but it seems her parents happily parked here and giving all sort of excuse not to move...



babies can hear at about the 20th week onwards...time to play classical music!

 
Stardust>> I got more than 1 opinions liao, keke.. :p

Ya, guess the work stress, family stress, preg stress all add up to bad dreams on our slp. Sigh.. Sweet dreams to us tonight & every night! [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif]



AC>> your situation same as mine. I oso dun like to eat with my in-law's.

My mil knows wat I'm gng thru cos she is a mother. But my fil kept saying, "u will get used to it (your ms) soon de lah.." when I feel veri sick while eating.. It's like I'm "pretending" to be sick like that. Arghh!..



Jass>> I hv been talking to the bb, "must grow strong & healthy!".. 胎教 even at week 5 :p

 
AC: its not easy to be staying with either own parents or in-laws. but my bro-in-law is an exception & i can feel my parents got an xtra son!! look on the brighter side lor, if yr parents were the one staying with u, yr wife would be feeling wat u're feeling now. is yr wife the only chlid? cos u can't possibly chase them out rite? dun make yr life so miserable lah... i know its easy to say, cos for me, i also can't stand living w my in-laws! My 1st confinement was done by my MIL & tat month was like hell for me!



yallo & jass: i dunno if 胎教 really works, cos my hb only read books to our #1... haha... after tat lazy liao.. haha... but my #1 likes to read now... so dunno how true... & for my sis, she told me she been telling her bb not to let her feel pain when need to deliver & true enuf she can't feel contractions when she's abt to go into labour!! she only know her tummy was feeling as hard as a table & till she call KK then the nurse tell her she's in contractions!!! so scary...



Littlefren: yes for KK oscar test, u will know the result on the spot, the doc will calculate & let u know the ratio, the possibility of having DS bb, etc...



missus: so good if yr mum can do yr confinement for u. cos it's really tiring... my mum can't cos she can't sleep when not her bed, & esp during nite feeds, she can't take it. so i guess getting a CL is a better option... i guess most of us would prefer own mum to MIL bah... afterall, different thinking & culture, so can be quite difficult if some things are not done our way, etc...

 
My Dr cum in with a good news for me today..he allow me to be discharged and rest at home[IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif]...so happy today..really make my day..thanks Dr roland for everything..

 
wow tis thread is moving sooo sooo fast!

@yallo - u r so funnie! i've also been reading news on paedophiles, murders and get REALLY disturbed there're so many 变态 around!!! gosh. anyway lets not talk abt tat. we shd stay positive and calm thou it is like mission impossible for me who jus back from office toilet puke AGAIN. tis bb really powderful my #1 i will dong till end of day puke in my cosy clean toilet. sob..



胎教!!! i'm a strong believer of tat! got tis to introduce ladies! if u dun wish to buy those exp mozart cds...



tis website has 10 sites on free classical music. some cannot be accessed from SG computers but there are already plentiful options available here. ENJOY [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif]



http://freenuts.com/free-online-classical-radio-stations/

 
AC: but its hard for ur wife also... slowly ba... dun stress ur wife too much too... if u nv go home eat, ur wife see liao also a bit "haizz due to my parents, i end up "torture" my hubby" etc... take things slowly lah... especially now ur wife preggy... if too stress not gd for her and baby too...

 
Wendy,

Glad to hear that you can discharged today but do remember even at home, you also have to rest more and do not tired yourself. [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif]



gretel,

wow..thanks for the links..

 
@missus BL (missus_bl), when we eat at my parents' place and my wife feel bloated she didn't eat much my parents understand lor...



@mamaAsh (mama_ash), i know it's not easy thus I told my parents long ago i will move out once i'm married even though i'm only child. i promised i will stay nearby and i did that lor...my wife is younger of 2 sis...her sis have her own condo in changi...



@Dawn, how my wife going to tell them? move out by end of year? cannot be also ma...will only put her in difficult position. so sometimes i tell her i'm going gym after work she know i just don't want to eat at home lor...

 
ya its hard.. but its a prob have to solve, else it will snowball very big in future...



how many room flat u live? can gei siao say wanna decorate ur parent in law room into baby room... see they zi dong ma?

 
4 room flat..so 3 bedrooms...1 is study...



the problem is now they want to move also cannot already. they have a property overseas and a 1 bedroom condo that's under construction so under new HDB ruling cannot buy HDB flat...and they cannot take loan since they over 70 and they cannot afford a condo at the moment...so we are struck with them until they sold their properties. then they will have enough money for condo and they can buy HDB flat if they want to.



my wife say they have intention to move la...just that now cannot due to tied up funds and HDB rules...



so...i'm struck with them...

 
dawn, i guess it's tough bah... esp if AC is the one opening his mouth, he will be a bad SIL to them... i would always find its best to let his wife deal with her parents lor. i mean no need to really chase them out of the house lah, but maybe as wat are their plans in moving? & let them know when bb arrives, need more place? but my feel is they may suggest they can help to look after bb when they go to work... or maybe can ask AC's wife to talk to her sis abt it & see if she can get any info out fr their parents?



wendy: congrats!! but pls rem to still rest well at home ok... have someone around in the house, so u won't feel bored too!

 
AC: That sounds like a tricky situation. LOL. Let me know if you know the service of real estate agent to help your parents in law. There is no indication at all if & when they would move out? What was the reason/ excuse for them to move in in the first place?



Wendy: So happy for you. Pls pls dun cheat and really rest at home. Check on your dogs at a distance, don't play with them in case they are too boisterous k.



missus BL: If its 2mm/ 2cm, then I think you don't have to worry as much based on what I understand from my gynae. Last night I was watching Delivery Me on SCV. A lady had her fibroid removed only following delivery. Its about 15cm. OMG. Its a tough pregnancy for her though.

 
basically i don't want to talk to them at all lar...they speak cantonese at home and i don't understand...so i just switch off whenever they speak...



now even want to renew newspaper subscription i also ask my wife to talk to them...i just refuse to talk to them other than absolutely no choice...

 
AC: I noticed that Cantonese tend to speak exclusively Cantonese at home. My gal fren had to live with in-laws. She is also very unhappy there as she is vegetarian and no Cantonese thus felt quite excluded at home. Eh. The situation so bad as in no communication liao?

 
TIE, agree too! my old neighbour supposed to be hokkien but cos he marry a cantonese, so the whole family speak cantonese!



AC, it does sound bad... but seems like yr in-laws also buay zi dong leh... knowing tat u oredi siam to go home, they still stay put there... or maybe they can consider renting a place nearby to prevent further conflict... ehm... tough..

 
hahaha...i was formerly an agent myself remember? still in contact with many ex-colleagues...



the story goes like this la...a year before our wedding their apartment en bloc...then they suggest staying with us while looking for their place since we already decided to buy a flat near my parents' place. after moving in the excuses came...



1. just move in...everything in mess...don't want to see yet...

2. near your wedding so many things to prepare...

3. prices will drop some more (that was mid 2009 before prices rocketed)

4. prices will drop soon (that was after prices rocketed)



finally convinced them to start looking...different excuses came...

1. low floor asking so much COV...

2. bare unit want so high COV...

3. so inconvenient no bus or market nearby...

4. near main road too noisy...

5. don't like layout...

6. don't like neighbour door too close to their door...



then last year bought a condo now still under construction...no buyer wanna buy so maybe TOP they might move there...earliest will be end of this year...

 
AC: so bad ar, no communication? my parents in law also speak cantonese.. i juz ignore them if i dun understand, if they wanna speak to me, they will speak in chinese or hokkien...



seems like its a long time u will be stuck with them... selling properties and buying a HDB flat takes quite some time...



maybe they can look after ur baby? then u can save on nanny fees also ma.... try to get along with them ba... else u also very sian to go home...



most impt dun let these affect ur relationship with ur wife

 
i hate soup...and u all know cantonese like soup la...so have to force myself to drink the soup at every meal...argh...



my mum know i don't like soup...but cos my wife would be used to it...so she purposely make soup for my wife but will not give me a bowl. my parents also only speak teochew at home...but when we go over they will speak in mandarin so that my wife can understand, even though they might not be talking to her...



i think this shows my mum is flexible and willing to try to fit her habits...but the same cannot be said for my in laws...



i don't think asking them to rent a place nearby is nice la...it's obviously chasing them out already...



i also don't think they are sensitive enough to realise that i'm purposely avoiding going home... i don't even think they realise all the unhappiness i'm feeling...

 
AC: I help you pray the condo TOP faster, usually its earlier than stated. It will be just in time b4 your bb is delivered. Have a peaceful chat with your wife that you hope to have more space with the baby coming. Communication is key. For issues that have existed for some time, its important the tone and manner the message is conveyed such that it will be more receptive by the other party, be it your wife or in-laws.



mamaash: Do you know from experience if the scan during Oscar is much clearer than the normal u/s? Looking forward to Oscar tmr!

 
Hi all

Pls remove my name fr the list.. I just went for a scan and is confirm that my bb had stop grow at 6wk and no more hb though hv detect hb earlier and today suppose to be my 8th wk. Very sad as i hv been so careful for my this pregnancy n it still fails me.. This is my 3rd mc n i really dun know wht shd i do next time? Really hurt me alot n hv been seeing tcm for one yr last year to tiao myself well after my 2nd mc n yet it still happens.. ;,(

How will i dare to try get pregnant again?



Hi goh, melodi, clb.. Take care.. Hv to leave first.. Sadz that we cant be delivery buddies anymore..

 
they know i don't understand...but sometimes they just simply forgot and talk to me in cantonese...i might understand abit but i refuse to reply lor.



i keep communication with them to minimum, i only talk to them when i greet them in the morning, when i get home and when we going to start dinner. nothing else if i can help it. sometimes i don't even say bye when i go out...



i think partly is due to my resentment towards them for parking at our place for so long and ruining all my plans on how to decorate my place... when they move over they moved their furniture as well...thus i have many old furniture and is totally wrong for the theme i had in mind...



i rather send my baby to infant care or get a maid... seeing how they take care of my sis-in-law's 2 kids.



at home they basically just watch tv, read newspaper or just fall asleep at the sofa...house dirty also don't clean... i told my wife how about we get a part time maid to clean the house once a week...she say it's like telling them indirectly they are not helping to clean...but they ARE really not helping what...



they do help with laundry and sweep the floor...but nothing else...

 
@Littlefren



I just went to see my gynae tis morning after hearing yr advice, told him abt the blister and itchy . He said is not due to duphaston and is something else, i got a cream for it.



Got Mc today..heehee..

 
Joanne, I am really sad to hear about your loss. Are there any symptoms in the past 1-2 weeks that might have indicated the loss? It has been a tough route for you. Felt myself tearing as I read your post. Have a mini confinement and let nature takes its own course. Take care ya.

 
AC: i can understand wat u gg thru!! cos tat's wat my in-law did when they were @ my place for my #1 confinement & i had to confine myself in my room during tat time cos my FIL are having the TV to himself & they can sleep on my sofa too!! OMG... as for the part-time maid, maybe u can say its not to tired them out! haha.. & have the maid over only when u guys are around! my MIL also try to talk to me in hokkien or teochew, but i juz pretend i dun understand when she's talking to their childredn in chinese!! then y me in hokkien? funny lah!



joanne: sorry to hear tat... pls take good care of yrself & have a mini confinement!! rest well first, then slowly explore or see other specialist to find out the cause of yr 3 mcs.. muz have a reason for it... dun feel too bad ok!! health is more impt!!



TIE: fr wat i rem, oscar scan is the same ultra scan as wat we had during our checks with our gynae, but they will zoom in to the area where they need to have the measurement. and not always 1 time is ok, sometimes position is not correct, then the doc will ask u to go take a walk or have a bite, go back in 30mins or an hour time, then u'll have to talk to bb to cooperate! haha... & sometime the scan can be abit painful esp when they need to scan a particular area to get the correct measurement.

 
@mamaAsh, ya! imagine they can read straits times, business times and zaobao then watch CNA, CNN, BBC and then news on Channel 8 AND U? do they expect the news to be different?



yeah i told my wife just tell them i don't want them to be tired with the housework...but she refuse... can be weekend morning...just 2 hours... but they at home most of the time la...only out for meals and walks some times...



that's y even wanna make baby also difficult... the number of times we tried to make baby at home in a year can count with 1 hand lor...

 
Joanne, I'm so sorry for you.. I was running through your old posts and really feel for you as u have been taking really high caution... pls nurse back your health tat's most impt now.



All, jus to share my best fren had 3 mc before finally havin her princess. and for her case, the gynae tells her to stop trying cos she almost risked her life for this princess... no pay leave for half a yr before delivering premmie at 7 mths. such 'stories' some pple will find 'drama' n cannot understand but really, when pple close to u experience it u know they exist.



it's only when we know of such cases around u do we realise it is so not easy to have bb... always v angry n swearing to read news abt abandoned bbs... while pple here r trying so hard to have one. life is so precious and really, u can't 'blame' pple for being paranoid, kiasu kiasi or bantang when they r preg...

 
Tie>> I hv seen dr Tham today, he said he did not see any cyst near my bb so shld be ok wor. Guess it's really a harmless cyst.



AC>> my fil doesn't seem to understd.. And I can't comment much since he is not my "father".. [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/sad.gif]



Wendy>> yea! Pls rest well & glad u are in good hand of dr Roland.



Joanne>> so sorry to hear abt your loss.. Pls stay strong.. Sending my prayer to you.. :_(

 
@missusBL, usually such cases i just keep quiet...then complain to wife later...LOL... don't understand then too bad... i didn't marry their daughter to please them.

 
Here is my update on my u/s today..



The crl has grown from 4.1mm last fri to 6.2mm today. Hb is clearly heard at 130bpm. But instd of 7w, I'm 6w3d instd. -_-? EDD is now changed to 8 Jan 2012, we told him abt the "discrepancies" on the edd with our previous gynae.. But dr tham said it's still early to "cfm" the edd.



Anyway, the first thing he saw me was asking am i throwing up veri badly cos i looked really sick.. T_T he said my neasous could be due to the duphaston I'm taking. But he saw some old blood in my uterus and suggest me to cont taking. He oso prescribed me with vitB6 & anti-vomit pill. Dunno y but I feel better now after taking it.



He oso said I'm ok to travel but to play safe, we decided to cancel it. So he gave me a letter to refund my $$$.. btw, sex, manicure & mild exercise are ok. Juz no coloring or any chemical treatment on hair.



My next appt is in another 3 weeks. Hopefully can see more things then. [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif]

 
our 1st appt is tml...so anxious...hope xiao tu is fine...sigh...



we also asking for letter to get as much refund from our cancelled trip as possible...later i going to emirates office in airport to talk to them...

 
AC>> lol... I'm the one complaining to my hubby after that!

I marry him & carry their grandchild not to please them too.. Instd it's stressful that I'm carrying your grandchild and yet u are not understanding! Maybe I shld vomit in frt of them.. [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/sad.gif]

 

Hi AC, I can really relate how you are feeling now as I felt something similar back when I had a place and my in-laws plus my husband's brother moved in with us. The way things were running, it felt like it wasn't my home anymore, its more like their home instead. Nobody gives a damn how I feel back then till I exploded and chased all of them back to their home. Funnily, now I have moved into my in-law's place I felt so different. I felt much more at ease and no sense of resentment. I don't even care if they talk to me (they always speak hokkien which I don't understand) or ignore me, I do whatever I want in the house. I think you are feeling so much resentment is because you felt no ownership over your own property and situation. Perhaps you really want to talk to your wife about things before things move up another notch and you may be pushed to do the things I did before. Personally my in-laws are ok folks, it was the brother and his gf I have issues with. Now that I moved in with them (of course the gf now wife also stays there) but I still feel much better than before. Sometimes our spouse may be caught in a difficult position but it is also their responsibilities to make sure things are ok since their side is living with us. My husband did not settle things properly resulting in that 'tragedy' but things are still ok now. It is very important to settle things on the spot than let it balloon into something else.



Joanne, I feel so sad reading what you wrote. I hope you recover quickly from the physical and emotional hurt then try again. Don't give up yet!

 
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