(2011/12) Dec 2011

Hi Kimiko and AC,



I am still staying with my in laws. I know how you felt. Like Kimiko, I am ok with the folks its the bro in law and the gf who is also wife now I had probs with. Imagine I just married and moved in with them and getting adapted and yet the bro is always making comments to my hubby about me this and that (whenever I was out of earshot). And to add on to make things worse, his gf kept staying over and treat the place like her home (while they are like barely 3 months together!). I am so uncomfortable being there. And one day I couldn't take it and blew up when that fellow did it again. He went to complain to my hubby when I went into the shower. I knew he was going to do that so I purposely came out and ask him to talk his probs in my face. In the end, shouting match in the middle of the night. Although things kinda "patched up" I don't talk much to them and both are moved out so not too bad.

 


Kimiko & sweet mi,



I also same not problems with in laws but with

my bro-in-law & gf. Many issues happen I couldn't take it and I say if they dun move I going cancel my customary dun wan marry hubby and they move out.



Now we like lead own life but I think life really happier even though with my in law also sure got unhappiness but I still can close 1 eye lor.

 
Hi Jas,

Yes. I don't understand why.. We are basically the same age group, why can't we live in peace?

I already keep quiet, yet he kept making trouble for me.. Somemore expect me to marry in and do house chores for them like mop the floor when I was pregnant. And they mop floors is use rags squat on floors one loh.. Super angry. then some more said very nasty words to me when I was pregnant indirectly insulting my baby. So I will never ever let my daughter acknowledge such a person as an uncle.



Sigh.. don't say... Even they move out also on off come back create problems "indirectly" pointing fingers at me lo. Just wish I no need to talk to them anymore.

 
Sweetmi,



That is so terrible, and ur hubby nv help u?



Last time I ask hubby chase them out he keep drag say I put him in difficult position. I no choice got to force lor is like got them no me tat kind of situation Liao.

 
kimiko, sweetmi & jas: i really admire all yr guts to chase them out!! if me sure cham... i would always think of my hb, dun wanna put him in difficult position... but he won't think tat way... so am very sad.. lucky is i have nvr live w my ILs b4... and now i scare after i deliver this #3, they will have to come over... cos we intend to get a maid @ home, since #1 is gg P1 next year, & can't possible have no one @ home... so hb is saying to ask him mum over for wkdays to help look out for maid & the kids but i nvr like her way of handling kids, cos my #1 & #2 were taken care by my mum, but cos my mum stay w my sis & family, so i can't possible be sending my maid & bb to my mum's place in the morning, then when #1 finish sch need to get a sch bus to send her over, esp when we had shifted to juz a blk away fr her pri sch! haiz... i super scare of such family issues... [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/sad.gif]

 
Jas,



He did help to speak up la during the "fight" but he is those kind of person where if can avoid.. avoid whereas I am those kind who like to thrash things out and solve it once and for all... So whenever that fellow go complaint to him, he just like 1 ear in 1 ear out lo.. so sometimes I also very angry with him coz feel so helpless...

 
mamaAsh,



I didn't chase them out. They moved themselves. He move in with the girl.. And I bet he was treated like a king there as he seems very happy there. Aiya.. he's spoilt by my in laws la.. everything also give him so once he cannot get his way he angry lo and find fault with ppl.. I seriously suspect he is very jealous of the attention me and my girl was getting coz he was the "baby" of the family mah. Very childish lo... I also dun like such family issues so am glad to be getting my own place soon next year.. :D

 
MamaAsh,



Tats wat happen to my fren now. Her 2 kids gap too near so no choice she got to have a maid as cnt put in childcare too young and de mil also lor stay with her now to look after de maid . Many conflicts den also same her hubby say she put him in diff position now my fren tell me she feel go home also sian really Cham.



Sweetmi,



Ur hubby same like mine alway pretend nothing happen after tat. Now my bro in law hse going ready my in law going move out I think nx time I will c them even lesser tat day their hse got key my mil still ask me dun wan go c together? I in my mind thinking u asking fei hua ley.

 
I was wondering if anyone of u feel unbearably cold most of the time?



I cannot sit under the fan or be in air-con place for very long...I will literally start to shiver...this is only happening after I am expecting. I thought we should be feeling warm isn't it?



Is it normal what I'm going through?

 
Its not that I want to chase them out or what. My in-laws are those quiet folks and they don't do anything to help or stop us. In fact, there was once when we quarrelled, my MIL just stand there and watch us -.- My mum even asked me why she didn't use her authority to stop us. This is the obvious difference in family culture. My family culture is of strict upbringing, theirs is those 'chin chay' kind lor so I really cannot stand. That time the then gf keep coming to my place to stay overnight without asking if ok or not. In fact she walk about in my house like queen like that and I have to be confined inside my room. Can you imagine how pissed I was at her. Actually all this started even before we moved in, I don't know whats the urgency to move things in before the actual moving and my hubby only 'notifies' me after they had spent a night at my new home when the real owners have not even move in yet. I was damn pissed off and disgusted with them. They totally had no idea that what they did was offensive somemore, defend themselves all the way. -.-

 
joanne..feel sad to hear this from you[IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/sad.gif]..did yr dr do a final confirmation abt it?did u have bleeding pior to this??



Sometimes,some baby is still small and bb heartbeat cant be detected yet..so best to get a 2nd opinion 1st before doing anything..



Missus BL..yr bb is growing fast..[IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif]my Crl is only 4.5mm on monday & i am scheduled to go back for u/s next wednesday if everything goes smoothly for me..anyway,i am supposed to bed rest..and it is 100% bedrest since the spotting is still there??

 
Missus BL..talk about the anti vomit pills..try to control not to take if you can..the reason why we felt nausea and feel like vomitting is because our HCG is increasing rapidly every 2 days which make us sick..



I told my dr abt this but he say he can prescribe me with the pills since i feel nausea.but he added this..only take when you realli feel unwell..so in the end,i didnt take any from him..i just "ren" and just be a merlion without water coming out..



My dr also say my face slim down quite alot..thin down..well,i think this is part of pregnancy..

 
Hi kwlim, not to scare you or what but most of us feel very warm because our temp is higher during pregnancy. Thats what happens to me too, I have to on air-con for most part of the day. Maybe because you caught a cold?

 
sweetmi: sorry :p u're good leh... juz like my sis, anything wrong will say immediately.. i always tell myself can 忍 then 忍 lor... but i know after sometimes i will feel really bad... & worse, my hb dun seem to appreciate, he always think i wanna find fault w his family!! haiz...



jas: tat's wat am also super afraid of leh... but hb nvr understand!! i always tell him, i dun wan future got big fight or conflict! best to keep a distance!! then he say his mum is easy one... but when i tell her things that i dun like to give my kids, like sweets, gassy drinks or sweet drinks, she nvr listen & always give them even when they r sick!! & i have to keep scolding my kids for asking for it & always need to bring them to see doc & eat med!! very frustrating lor!!

 
Jas,



Yah the less contact the better.



Kimiko,

Wah lao! So Rude!!! How can like that? Yes I was in ur situtaion! I am the officially married one yet I am confined to my room. She can just stay overnight "daily" and walk around and sit there read papers and watch tv like her house. Somemore even my bro in law not in she also will stay in the house and treat like her place! Its like so shameless lo.. Even my in laws also not very happy but chose to keep quiet. think the fellow will sure use me as reason coz i stay over at times during weekends too.. but I am with hubby for 4 years already! and they are barely 3 months!

 
MamaAsh,



Ya before tat hor my fren mil only stay her hse during weekend already got problems lor now everyday worse. Think u got to let ur hubby koe is for his own good dun wan him sandwich in between when conflicts happen.

 
mamaAsh,



Not good.. people tend to view me as quarrelsome but all I did was to stand up for myself.. coz its not fair.. Sigh.. No choice lo.. be a bitch in otehrs eyes lo. I did "ren" but is already cannot "ren" already.



Haha, the grandparents are all the same lah.. at least own parents can scold. My FIL also.. told him enougha already dun give my girl so much ice cream etc.. still purposely feed a few more mouths! sigh.. I told hubby as long as I dun see.. i pretend I dunno, shall not stop the love from the grandparents. My hubby more poor thing.. try to stop his own dad from feeding too much ended up scolding from his dad.

 
Sweetmi, exactly! That happened like 5years ago and that woman was 3years older than me lor.. Cannot imagine that supposed to be more mature but do this kind of thing. Then again, ever since she went overseas to further her studies, I also felt better. Recently she even add me on facebook and we kind of talk out our problems. She finally sees from my point of view and apologised to me. So after I got the long-awaited apology I decided to let things rest. Since my baby will definitely disturb their sleep in near future, I just give and take.



mamaAsh, sometimes we 'ren' but there will be a point when we cannot tolerate anymore. But least I know now if I got anything not happy I will immediately voice out to the correct party to minimise the impact and solve things quickly. Maybe you can tell your in-laws that your kids keep falling sick, ask them to help you watch your kids' diet? Funny leh, usually they will be stricter than us in watching all this. Like my 2nd sis-in-law, she did the opp thing. She also stays with her in-laws and will drop by alternate weekends to visit my MIL and complain to her but she will secretly give those junk food to her kids (her kids also always sick) and asked them not to tell their popo that she gave them such things to eat. -.-

 
Sweetmi,



Ya lor I now really like count down the day they move only.



Ya my bil gf same like ur super thick skin de leh I also dun wan c her face so I hide in room but after tat I think n think more n more bu gan yuan is my hse leh y I wan so wei Qu lor.

 
Harlow all, been long since i last posted. My last U/s was good, can see the BB head, legs and hands. Im 10wk now. Next appt will be the oscar blood test + prenatal test or wadever that is.

My MS has evolved to another stage. I now always have the urge to puke. Any foreign smell/ kopitiam food smell etc; i puke. My comfort food is fruits + vegetarian only at the moment.

How u gers coping, does ur MS ease now?

I really feel im full fledged MS Queen. And im on DHA now already. long pill..! Gynae ask me go get Annum. well just bought 1 chocoklat box, realised expiry sept 2011. (NB$^%%&$%&^&^) But i dun think i can drink yet. got a feeling i will puke.



@Joanne, pls take care & dun over stress yourself!



@wendy, are u discharge from hospital already?

 
Hihi.. Just came back from check up.. Bb is growing well.. Heartbeat 150bpm, 18mm now 8w5d. I finally know my edd it's 24 Dec [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif]

 
Kimiko,



At least things are sorted out. Good for you [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif]

Yah sometimes is they don't understand where we are coming from so to them everything is small issues.



For me, as long as they don't make trouble, I'm cool.. coz I believe in what goes around comes around...

 
@bfly my gynae told me once can see the head of BB can start DHA. For annum gynae say i can start already when i last visited her. (was ard 9wk when i saw her).

 
MamaAsh,



So bad? sit/lay down on your bed? I also cannot stand coz was brought up cannot anyhow go people's room and touch people things or sit on people's bed coz its RUDE. Guess not everyone think so and treat others as their house...



Last Time my BIL ask us why we lock our room when we go to work? I was thinking why cannot? U mean we should open the doors like open house for u and ur gf to walk around probe into our cupboards and lay on our beds? Privacy ello? He's like so scared we hide things from him or something..

 
sweetmi: yes!! got once, my bil & wife + mil came over to watch the world cup! & i didn't know they were coming, so i brought my kids to mum's place for dinner & when we back home, i saw many pair of shoes, then i know they came over after callin my hb who's @ home. & when i go into my room, i saw my MIL laying on my bed with my TV on!! i was really BURNING hot there man!!! & immediately show a face!! the moment she goes out of my room, i change my bedsheet!! Yes, my family upbringing same as yrs, we dun go into other pple's room w/o being invited or even invited also won't touch anything!! my hb family is different, cos FIL is the only son with 6 sisters, so when got big events, everyone go to their house & all ROOMS open for EVERYONE to climb onto any bed!! OMG... i really can't stand it man.. even now, i won't step into my PILs room unless necessary!!



Yes, i also locked ALL my rooms when we go for holidays!! cos my PILS will come up my place, happily say help me to water plants etc... esp my FIL, he likes to go into EVERY ROOM & look @ ALL things in details!! even open my fridge to inspect wat's inside!!!

 
mamaAsh, I think sitting on people's bed and anyhow touch people's things are too much. This kind of thing must voice out. Maybe can try closing all doors before they come then they cannot anyhow enter unless they so rude to open your doors without asking.



Sweetmi, WHAT! What kind of question is that? I think he really got problem with you leh. I would asked him why such things bother him lor, so weird!

 
kimiko, yes after tat i told my hb i super hate it when pple lay on my bed!! u may not mind but i DO! & do not assume others are juz like u guys, can let cats & dogs on yr bed!! i guess my MIL knows i super buay song after tat... & now i dun see them go into my room when they come over!! my face is super terrible one lor... i can show my face immediately!! hahaha...

 
lucky my SIL is not like that...and me only child...so no problem from my side...



the biggest problem from my in laws is that they are very dirty! they can cook then just leave the stove and floor as it is...even if they stir-fried vege or egg...they walk around the kitchen in slippers so they never realised how dirty the floor is...i have to clean the stove and cupboards with strong chemicals due to all the built-up grim...so disgusting lar... everytime my wife or me say want to clean, my FIL will say tomolo la...he will clean la...end up he just be reading newspaper the next day until he doze off on the sofa...

 
@bunny: i see. previously i asked my gynae whether i should start milk powder but he said actually no need. bcos we are taking multivit and that is already enough for bb. so i never buy milk powder just finish a few packets of sample thats it. As for DHA i havent start too. See what my gynae says when i visit him tmr as tmr is my 10th week.

 
mamaAsh, if I were you, I would be super unhappy. If kids don't know lie down on my bed I got nothing to say, but adults doing that is really distasteful, somemore is our senior. Haiz.. It is nice for family to gather together but not at the expense of other ppl's privacy and personal things.

 
i do not mind people having a look in my room...but resting on other people's bed without permission is downright rude...



i don't even step into other people's bedroom unless invited lor...



my wife know how i feel...but there's nothing much she can do also...she will only say we will do the cleaning...bo bian...



i also don't want to put her in tough position so i will just clean then tell her about it...there's nothing much she can do to change how her parents behave...



when we go over to my parents' place for meals, my parents will clean the stove and mop the floor before sitting down to eat...imagine her dad can say leave to next day? and worse thing is next day also never clean? yucks...

 
mamaAsh,



No wonder we cannot stand people treat others as their own house.. Exactly the same here.Invited into house or room also cannot anyhow touch and sit. I think its a good upbringing in case anything spoilt or missing it will not link to us. Hehehe I will also change my bedsheet loh if I kanna ur case. yah got once my MIl came in after work to see my BB then she haven showerd and put her hands on my bed then I cannot tahan also... My bed can only sleep when all showered up and clean..



Kimiko.. Yah I really think he got a problem with me. He brought this issue up to either my PIL or my hubby coz hubby told me. I even suspect he came into our room to "check things out".. Then even after he moved out and came back to visit, he also made comments like.. aiyo.. why so many things in the house.. so messy.. obviously is direct at me la.. house got BB of coz got lots of toys and things etc wat! And he's not even staying in the house so care for wat?

 
AC,



Haha mine de is opp u everytime I cook le I clean le she still go clean 1 more time even floor also mop again I a bit pissed off I tell hubby ur mum trying show she hiam I nv clean properly.



My hubby still say she wan let her clean lor so now I cook le I leave it there u wan clean give u clean de standard u wan lor.

 
AC: tat was wat happened after my #1 confinement!! the oil stains etc left by my mil after tat was so hard to remove!! after my confinement i really hated my kitchen so much!! & i had to use those tough chemicals many times b4 the oil stains were removed!!! so after tat, i nvr wanted her to cook in my kitchen!! cos her kitchen is like those zi chay store ones... the cabinets are yellowish w oil stains!!



kimiko: totally agree!! but not everyone understand tat lor... sad!!

 
Bunny..yes..i am just discharged today..[IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif]hope everything goes on well for me n bb.How many weeks are you in now??which dr r you with?

 
AC, You are the male maid liao.. Just joking.. Yah its very gross... Mine if FIL don't wash things clean enough and like to stack all the plates at washing basin level so when we wash other things will kanna and have to re-wash. At first I still keep it clean and stack nicely on racks but after few days its the same liao so I gave up.. not my house la.. so somethings U just cannot change.

 
AC, how long have they been staying at your place? My record was about 2.5years before I blew my top. Have you even tried speaking directly to your in-laws? I think it is important to sort things out asap before things become ugly leh.



jas, actually in the long run, it means that you dont have to waste time cleaning things so thoroughly and let your MIL do all the cleaning. A bit bad but since she will definitely do that then let her do lor, better than she don't clean at all. :x

 
Hi wendy, so glad to hear that you have discharged. Though you are resting at home now but still try not to move about too much k? Must be very disciplined!

 
hi kimiko..thanks..i will glued myself to my bed till next week U/s..but still feeling very nausea..and dr say it will get worse though..:{

 
Hi wendy, yes, unfortunately MS will peak nearer to week 8 or 10 for some so you gotta hang in there. But like some mummies said, it is a sign that your baby is doing ok. Did your gynae give you anything to help with the nausea?

 
i grew up with my parents so clean...so imagine now i see what is happening to MY place? i hate my kitchen so much i hardly want to step in...at most i go to fridge to get milk or juice...



talk abt fridge...if got something leak or spill...dunno is they cannot see it or just leave it...end up always dried into a patch before i notice it and clean it up...



my wedding was sep 09...they moved in apr 09...so now is over 2 years staying there though i only moved in after the wedding...



i don't want to talk to them...sure make my BP go up... i think my wife realised things can be very ugly...but she's caught in between so i feel very bad...but i cannot stand them!!!

 
ya AC, I think you have to let your wife understand that certain things have to be done whether she thinks is nice or not otherwise the consequences will be very nasty. It is difficult for her but if she doesn't do anything then things are just going to get worst lor. I ever imagine putting myself in my husband's shoes and I don't understand why he was in such difficult position when he was just stating facts. I would have no problem relating to my family on those issues if I were him and for him to live with us. I always believe to work on the 'fair' side when relations are linked to problems, otherwise how to solve problems?

 
Hi! I am new in this thread.



Just found out I'm pregnant late April but because my period had been irregular since December last year, so we are waiting for next weeks appointment before the doctor can confirm the actual EDD.



As of now, it is Dec 15.

This is my no.2 and I am with Doc Sheila Loh of Raffles Hospital.

 
Hi I'm a Jan 2012 MTB. Just want to find out for those mothers who are consulting kkh gynaes, how do you all book appointments?



I've tried calling them at the numbers on their webpage, but was not able to get through. Thanks!

 
yeah...i dare to speak up to my parents if there are things that's not right...i guess being the younger of the 2 kids, she's more dependent and also not as strong when it comes to standing up to her parents...



her parents now still ask her to seek her sis' advice for everything. even when we are buying this flat...her parents also want her sis to see the flat and get her opinion...and only her sis can make them take their medication or scold them if they don't follow medical instructions... sometimes i see my wife is just weak...she's really like a little girl sometimes...



the worst thing i can do is to threaten to move back to my parents' place lor...but what good does it do? her parents might not even know they are the cause... somehow they just think i'm so happy to have them staying there...

 
Hi KK, welcome to the thread!



Hi Ms Carpe Diem, you can try submitting a form in KKH's website to make an appt. That's how I made my first appt. They will reply you with an email informing you of the date and time for the appt. But if you weren't sure which gynae to get, you can try to get through their line to ask for recommendation.



http://www.kkh.com.sg/Pages/Appointment.aspx

 
Hi Kimiko....when i tell him about my ms..he was quite hesitated to give me anti vomit pills..then in the end he tell me only take when i am really feeling sick..so i think he is also in a dilemma..in the end i never take..



I was wondering since ms happens due to higher hcg,does it mean that by taking the pills,it might reduce our HCG level??Well,i never ask him further since i always have lots of questions for him whenever i see him..haha..Furthermore,i still have spotting so i am trying my best to be careful..



Kimiko..u know in fact i am quite stressed..[IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/sad.gif]previously i had my mc at week 9..so in fact from now till week 12..i am feeling paranoid..esp this time my bleeding and spotting happen even earlier and heavier..[IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/sad.gif]while my previous MC,it is just abit of bleeding but it is gone..Haiz..

So i hope my bb can feel my love and get it over with me soon..[IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif]

 


Hi AC, looks like with your wife's character, things are very difficult for you unless you speak to your in-laws directly. But doing that may hurt your wife. Wah.. Really 'sian' kind of situation. But when you hit the button, I can confirm you will ignore all the factors and probably chase them out on the spot.

 
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