Shirely - my colleague once told me, it takes 1 week of hard-heartedness to change a bb habit. if you can tahan 1 week but letting baby learn to be independent, sleep on her own, no patting etc, than life will be easier in future. they are still young, so easier to change their bad habits.
for example, letting them sleep on their own, my ang mo colleague's daughter used to need to pat/hug than can go to bed, he started the routine of putting the ger to bed, 1st night, when ask ger to sleep on her bed with daddy sitting on the chair next to her on a routine basis (everyday do the same routine), she cried almost 1+ hour on 1st night, but my colleague never give in, 2nd nite improvement, cry 45 mins and subsequently, the amt of time wailing decreases and now, the girl can sleep on her own, without daddy in her room even. it tooks around 8 days for this to happen. the ger is around our toddler age as well . so maybe worthwhile to let bb try ? alternatively, let her sleep on stomach so that she have more sense of security ?