(2010/08) August 2010 MTB

penguin,

do you feel okay if you just sleep with bb X? if so, let your hb knows.. so that he won't feel like he's leaving you alone.. at least you don't have to smell her farts?



jascmy,

hope so! he started saying ma ma at mother's day but now seldom say already. -_- he prefers saying ba ba..



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I think only valid for today.

 


Jasmine: i think it is okie.. Actually not sure where he can slp in mil room, cuz he feels weird to slp on same bed with her, floor also no space.. Yup, i hate it, been smelling for 8 nights, feel like puking now.. Actually Xavier also only knows how to call baba now, he was so excited when hb and me picked him up at the ifc ytd, he kept yelling "ba ba, ba ba!" Poked my heart a little but he's so cute, when i pick him up he doesn't look so excited.. Even the ifc teachers also say his reaction different when hb picks him up..

 
MVH

your mum and mil know how to take care of babies. My mil took my baby out when he was 3 weeks old without wrapping him up. Just short sleeves and on his diaper, no booties or mittens... she just went out of the house when I was in toilet. Only my baby started sneezing then she came back and told me the baby cold.

 
penguin

my boy also keeps calling ba ba ba... but he not calling his father leh... just make noise only. My hubby heart melts la.. hahaha

 
Sunflower, jascmy, thanks.. Think I will start egg yolk next week when my gal turns 10mos.. Still scare to intro egg whites.. Coz after my elder gal's rash episode, dun wanna risk my bb gal into any allergy reaction.. [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif]

 
Penguin, i think eeyore's suggestion to sleep wif yr mil is good! Though I might take months or years to overcome her fear, I think this way she can re-adapt to her room again with someone closed, ie her son.. But then again need time n patience..

Another way is to shift house n go n stay somewhere that dun have traces of yr fil in the house..

Some ppl r scared of spirits regardless of whether it her closed ones or not.. So can't blame her ba..

 
penguin,

somehow it's ghost so whoever that is, u'll still be afraid... but my mum scared, on the other hand missed him so much, until she hospitalised... then we need to keep talking to her, tell her we still need her help, all her grand children still need her and will miss her, then slowly she need to overcome it herself too...

 
Gymboree Trial Class



I feel tanglin mall more friendly then Harboufront..



{Fumiko}: u went for the trial u go the learn & play of Music class?

 
winnie,

ya fr e way u post abt the HB answer..i personally feel they are not prof and friendly..lolz..



i havent go the music trial class...

i only went for the learn & play where there are ramps and slides and lots of equipment for the bb to try n play...FUN!

 
Penguin



it's naturally for anyone to scare of ghost or soul.. Those who dare to say they are not scare that's bcos they haven meet one yet. Ur colleagues ask why she scare of her own hb, wait till their hb passed away when old, then see if they scare or not. Sorry to say this but I think u need to think of old pple at times. It's true she disturbed ur quality time with ur hb and bb, but there is something 3 of u need to sort out what works best. Complain is no use, need to think of solution. Ur mil just lost her hb and left with the only son, who can she rely on? U have to understand for this period is very vulunerable for her.. She can spurt nonsense, anyhow accuse etc, but that's something u and ur hb gota sort out and deal with her. Have u wonder why she likes to say nonsense at times? Do u treat her equally rubbish? If u treat her slightly nicer, will thing change ? It wrks for some pple, but might turn out even worse for the others. But that's something u and ur hb gota try and test out, else ur problems forever never ending. Frustrations and frustrations will continue. P

 
Something to share about my girl:

Recently she just started crawling, she already reject her walker now. my girl got sign of tip-toeing, oops.... but luckily she dun want us to put her in walker anymore. i don't know how about your babies.



Food:

I also give all kinds of food to my girl but in a minimal amount. she even eat otah which is spicy and she love it... haha. i also just give her chawanmushi as advise by suika. oh ya, when i bring my girl for normal assessment, the nurse ask me if i give egg white and i reply yes. because my mum told me how to avoid giving egg yolk only when trying to separate egg white. but so far, she is doing fine.



ah bee,

my girl got jaundice but maybe we always wash her with those yellow things, that's why she look so fair. hehe!



cheese,

you better take care hor. at least your boy is co-operative with you today.. hehe! mine already 5 days and i go haywire chasing my girl. today finally i am at my mum's house but did not manage to rest as i got to do many housework. haiz.



rachel,

my girl is on friso. so far she is ok. once in awhile she get constipation (only happen when she go back to my house) but at my mum's house, she poo every day. stool are normal.



jasmine,

dun worry. my girl also just recently start crawling and i am sure your Baby J will crawl soon. my girl dun like to be on tummy but this time she enjoy flipping already.



mvh,

my girl already started egg yolk 2 months ago. normally my mum will mix with porridge. i still will see egg white inside but so far she is doing fine. no sign of allergy.

 
MVH, I only gave my bb egg yolk. i cook hard-boiled egg, took only the egg yolk, then milk with the porridge. i use the pigeon bowl to "grind" so it could mix well w the porridge & not rough & dry.

 
Rachel, that's very careless of yr mil to bring yr young 3wk old bb out wifout any extra clothings..



Cheekrene, the way to separate egg white n yolk is to hard boiled it. This is what I have done for my elder gal when she is young..

 
MVH

Not that I m bias but she really doesn't know how to take care of babies lo. She has 2 children. The first under her care is sick all the time. The second one she foster out totally until he is 1.5 year old.

 
Rachel, at least your husband is by your side. like that good already. [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif]



Penguin, i actually not against chinese medicine one. in fact i feel if given properly, it could have lesser side effect than "western medicine". just i don't agree any small problem also bring to see doctor & take medicine loh.

 
Dear sunflower, mvh and eeyore: think she saw something or heard, just refused to answer us.. Yup, already asked her if want to switch room, she doesn't want. What can we do?

Sunflower: i nv treat her badly, helped her with housechores, but she is the one whom turned back on us and say i very bad. Now, she just stopped doing housework, switched off when my bb cry.. The situation us actually simple, but made complicated i agree. Yes, i play a part too in making it worse, been thinking of solution like shifting home with bb so hb can concentrate on "training" her but hb don agree, want to engage maid, but takes time and $.. Switch room, she don't want. What other solutions are there.. If there are solutions, i wouldn't be complaining everyday[IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/sad.gif] sorry if u all find me a chore, i have nowhere to turn to, my mum has her own set of problem too i don't wished to bother her.. Guess it will take some time, bear with me people..

 
Haitang

I think old people tend to be more reliant on medicine. My grandma was like that. She scared of pain and death so keep taking medicine.

 
Rachel: i understand u, when u say ur mil don't know how to take care of kids and somehow ppl don't quite believe. Because with kids of their own, how can they not know how to take care of kids. My mil is one, her daughter, stayed at her grandma place till she is like teenager age. My hb, stayed at another grandma place till he is teenager. His mum (my mil) is a freeloader. Sometimes i hate her, sometimes i envy her, sometimes angry with her. Life is unfair, her kids she don't need to look after, mine, i have to slog like hell.. But already given birth so naturally will take up responsibility to look after. Don't want to be like her, everything also don't know.. But maybe i'm biased towards her that's y opinion wise, all very bad lah. My fault again.



Haitang: i think at least she cares.

 
We focus on getting babies to build up the immune system but the elderly kind of lose the ability to do this so in their mind only thing that can help them is take medicine.

 
Penguin

Since ur mil has a daughter why not ask her to sleep with ur in law? I thot own daughter shd at least accompany the mother. No matter what, daughter still closer than dil mah.

 
Rachel: kids last time easier to take care of, think the elder ones must be thinking how come we now so "gao ze". My mum took care of 4 of us when my dad went out to work, asked her before then she say when we young we sleep and eat sleep and eat. Very easy to take care of unlike kids now, she shook head at my sis sons, running up and down..

Hb sis got married and shifted out already, her fil also just passed on this feb.. So if anything, she also need to shift back her in laws side.. Nobody can help us now bah. 船到桥头自然直.. Prays hard. Sidetrack abit, really feel like joining ur gatherings! But cannot[IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/sad.gif]

 
Penguin, I personally tink u shld move to somewhere for time being.. (if u can live wo ur hubby for a time being)

Bcos nw ur mil dun like u, u n ur hubby can't come to an agreement.. So cooling period is impt

If u keep nagging infront of ur hubby, he will jus keep tinkin u are not considerate blah blah..

Let both cool off and have a peace of mind to tink properly

Let him see who is e one makin life difficult and who had changed and caused the prob.. 

Tis is my own opinion.. I had a Fren whose husband is e only son and mother is a divorcee.. B4 marriage, the mother is ok.. After marriage, e mother changed and bcome v processive towards her son (my Fren hubby).. And make her life difficult.. Questioning my fren whether she do housework, iron clothes, wash clothes for her son but the mother dun even do housework herself so y she start questioning her ?? When they go datin, she owas wan to tag along..

And for 2 yrs, my Fren quarrel wit her hubby over the mother ..cos e hubby is a v filial son..n owas side his mum n can't stand my Fren sayin his mum

One day, they quarrel again..my Fren jus keep quiet n tell her hubby "my love for u had decreased. No longer like before"

Then e hubby wake his bloody mind up..and started to realize her mum is causing prob in his marriage ..

Nw my Fren no longer quarrel wit her hubby n her hubby no longer side his mum all the time..



U noe ur hubby character the best. Find the best way to handle this prob wit him..

 
mummies,

can i ask what u did to your extra EBM?

I have alot in the freezer, and building up... now my freezer compartment running out of space... how ar?

wat to do wif them or how to clear some of them?

 
dear mummies



i have been a silent reader. dont mind i join in your discussion. my gal was born on 12 aug 10. my mil is helping me to take care of her since birth with the help of my helper.



initially i had problem with the way she took care of my gal. she is those 'ang mo pai' so whenever i qtn her on certain things, she will say 'its ok one, nvm one, bb all like that one!' i was very upset with her & often quarrel with hubby over this. over time i learn to let loose & close one eye lo..they have their ways of taking care bb which we might not think its the best way. jus try to compromise ba.

 
Penguin



I think u got me wrong .. I'm not saying u are a chore by complaining here. This forum is not owned by me, everyone is free to say what they like. I meant complaining in general. When a problem arised, we shld think of ways to resolve and not complaining. If u keep complaining everyday to urself, to ur frens , to whoever , u end up having more frustrations. Maybe u shld relax abit. Not every problem is a problem. They may be just a new task u gota handle. For example ur mil refused to switch room. May be to her, slping anywhere is the same as her hb soul is surrounding her. She just want company to feel secure. Yes I understand how u feel, doesn't feel gd with her in ur room. Why not u think it this way? If the person is ur mum, would u allow her in ur room? Maybe u feel better if u think it this way. Im not siding ur mil, i just want u to feel better, and not get frustrated for every thing. ur hb refused to move out bcos he knows his mum is then left alone in the lonely house. As the only son, he can't stay with his only mum. Yes u r right, it really takes time to build a rship. It can be Years to see that happen. Sooner or later , u will tend to close one eye, ur mil will make less noise.. Since u r married to ur hb, all I can say is to try ur best to sustain a happy family, don't always talk about divorce.. The more u think bout divorce, the more things nv get to wrk out.

 
Rachel, agree woh. my MIL is basically taking Chinese medicine continuously, like bu3 pin3... luckily my hubby is on my side too. just like recently, coz of my maid & bb hospitalised, i have to deposit my #1 at my MIL's place. after my maid & bb returned home, she still didn't want to return my son to me, initially said worry i can't cope (coz my maid needs to do dressing change at polyclinic everyday after the surgery), then later said she just changed new bedsheet for my son, sleep for a few more days, the finally told my hubby she observed some symptoms on my son, and is giving him this herbs, need to continue to observe... my hubby was telling me also his mom treats my son as white rat. so that day we took the chance we need to bring my son to a school outing, then pulled him back home liao. dunno also what my MIL fed my son, he kept saying want to return there, till i have to psycho my son and praise him for helping me at home, then he happily stays. sigh...

 
Re: Gymboree

I've emailed the Harbourfront branch. They mentioned if I go for 2 trials (play & learn and music), it will be $80. Add $10 for 1yr membership (can use their gym equipments without instructor at $12/hr). I decided to go with both trial classes, anyone else wanna join? Btw, I chose 6-10mths group cos they said they strictly follow the age of baby. My boy is 8mths+ only.

 
Jesho, agree to you. sometimes we just have to compromise. no matter what, we are still one family. if the relationship gets tense between us & MIL, our hubbies will also be in a difficult position. my hubby ever argued with my MIL coz i have been depressed over the way she handled my bb. then later my MIL dislikes me. even if it was my hubby's suggestion that displeased her, she would think it's my idea. it actually took me extra time and effort to patch the relationship and now both of us learnt how to compromise and let go. relationship just gets well, and whenever I go shopping with her, everyone thought she is my mother.

 
HaiTang



Yes totally agreed! In the end hb is always the sandwiched. And the mess is quite awful to clear up. Takes a long time to build back the rship with mil. Sometimes even we as a dil are stubborn too.. So we need to Compromise too.

 
Haitang

Ur mil scary leh. How can secretly feed ur boy medicine! If anything go wrong, doctor ask u u also won't know.

My hubby on my side cos he can see the things his mum did with his own eyes. I nvr make up stories. I'm still v rational. The things I think she did wrong is not becos of certain preferences I hv. But objectively and common sense tell us it's wrong. That's why my hubby didn't side his mum.

 
yes haitang, if i didnt close one eye, i would have gone into post natal depression. i wanted to latch on my gal but my mil discourage saying that she will have a hard time when im back to work, keep feeding my gal water when i told her dont need to as my gal was on full bm etc...i cried several times under my pillow during my confinement as i was really depressed. to make things worse, my stupid hubby keep saying that his mum is v experienced so jus let her be! haiz..



they have the mentality that their kids are brought up same way so why cant their grandchildren? guess certain things we have to make our stand clear while just close one eye to minor things or else our child will be implicated when they grow older in event our r/s with mil is strained

 
Penguin

When things get out of hand and relationship is very tense, it may be good to have a cool off period. This will lessen the friction and give both parties time to think and reflect.

When it comes to in-law relationships, alot of times it's easier said than done. No one can understand your situation exactly or understand your frustrations completely. Your problems will probably won't be solved but hv to learn to manage it so that ur frustrations will not affect your little one. I think children can sense our unhappiness and be affected by it.



U are alw welcome to vent ur frustrations here. Sometimes, just letting off steam will also help u feel better even tho the problems can't be solved. That's what I do now. I can't scream at my mil for doing silly things cos I know she doesn't mean harm. But that doesn't mean I cant be angry. We are afterall just normal human being. There are many times after complaining at forum I feel much better and can manage my problems better. So "jia you"!

 
Jesho

Ur situation sounds like my friend's whose baby is now 2mo. His wife complained to me and I called up my fren to scold him. His mum is not educated but he is, I told him to bring his mum to the PD and ask the pd abt feeding water. Now he understands why. So his wife now come to me for help haha.

His mum also funny la, teach me to add soya sauce and salt to porridge to give my baby. She said she did that for all her children. Sigh.

 
rachel, ironically, my mil is english educated! since the birth of my gal, shes been sleeping on tummy cos mil says she can sleep better. i told her play safe dont due to SID she totally turn a deaf ear! i resorted to printing articles with cases from diff country to 'educate her' the danger of infant sleeping on tummy..guess what? she did it again behind my back!! what to do? have to 'ren' lo..

 
Jesho

My mil also English educated. But my hubby insisted she is English speaking not educated. Duno what logic he has. Anyway, he alw says his mum not thinking properly so just let her be. Good thing we both agreed she can't take care of baby. She did make a fuss said we don't trust her but hubby said just do what we think is right. True la, she got her chance to be a mother. Now is our turn leh.

 
Penguin

Agree w Rachel. If you really unhappy w ur mil, n her ways of handling, go take a break.. If nt u will get depression. Maybe u tell ur hby u move over to ur mum hse stay one to 2 days a week.. Till u calm down. Last time my confinement, I almost cried everyday. After DK full mth, I move to my mum hse stay and nw, me n mil rs beta.



Everything needs time to adjust, so is ur mil. Her lost of hby is a big blow to her. Of cos she will rely on ur hby. I nt u ask ur hby at night slp e her in the same rm.. It's v depressing for her to slp in her rm, she will think of her hby, those moments n break down easily and get depress. I'm sure u don wan that to happen to ur mil. W her hby in her rm, she sure won cry silently at night and slowly she will move on.



Jia you! For the sake of ur baby. I alwiz believe "bao ying". U don wan ur son & dil treat u like this wen u old right?



Jia you!

 
Wow u gals r v gd dil..

I started to dislike my mil after she bcome my cl

She claim she know everything but when my bb was born, she say she dunno

She say she wan to save $ for us but it causes me to went into depression for 1st 3 wk of my maternity n I didn't hold any full mth celebration cos by then when i started to feel ok.. I no time to org Liao

N I even caused her to cry by givin her attitude n quarrel wit my hubby

Agreed tat all of u say hubby will b the most sandwich person

But I dun care cos I feel wei qu during my cl

N till today I still can't forget n forgive :p



Agh btw I wan to call gymboree Liao.. Where I can get tat offer

Jas, $80 include gst?

 
I also wan to complain, my son still like me to kiss his face,

He will always turn his face away or push me when my lip near to his cheek.



Why har ?











Is it because I didn't shave ??







Btw good morning all, going to be home alone this wkend

 
N I try to pat my bb to sleep wo carryin her during my 3 mth ml, after I go work .. Wow piang she carry my bb walk ard to make her sleep

I dun wan give pacifier, she give oso

N quarrel alot wit my hubby on her method

Install CCTV to check on mil n my maid when I at work

Cal back m scold them if I see anythin wrong

In e end, I give up

Now I try to close 1 eye n relax .. Tinkin at e end of e day as

long my bb sound n safe .. Any method oso nvm la

Lol but I still once a while cal back n tell them anything I dun like

But I still go out wit my mil if my hubby bring her out together but is not so frequent compared to last time

My prob in e end oso cause me n my hubby Sis to quarrel..

Cos she side her mum,

N I oso no talk to her till today..

Her sis oso say if one day my daughter threat me like hw I treat my mil, I oso will b sad

But I tell her tat is my retribution n my choice

Anyway I dun grow up wit my parents.. I hated them too

V complicated..

Penguin, If u can compromise then u compromise, if nt find a way to make urself happier

But say is owas easier than do

 
Fumiko

My mil is a real devil, comparable to everyone mil here. But after So many yrs and incidents, I gave up on her. In order to make myself happy, now I Bo chup . Close one eye, sometimes just close both.



By the way, the gymboree, when u sign up as member, if u wan to use their facilities, still need to pay $12 ah? Not free for babies below 12mths?

 


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