(2009/10) October 2009 MTBs
- Thread starter famela
- Start date
i'm going to London for a week.. so now still comtemplating abt the flu jab...
I read that Tom Cruise bought one of those ultrasound machines to scan when his wife was pregnant with Suri. Haiz ... some people just have all the money. Every month, i look forward to see my BB, but that's only 3 mins the most only. Then later i will keep taking out the ultrasound picture to see.
My colleagues was telling me, Richard Li's gf gave birth to baby boy recently. He gave her HK$200 million worth of assets and baby has 5 body guards and 4 full time nannies to look after. Here i am, complaining that a S$2K confinement lady is very expensive. Haizz... different people different lives
I read that Tom Cruise bought one of those ultrasound machines to scan when his wife was pregnant with Suri. Haiz ... some people just have all the money. Every month, i look forward to see my BB, but that's only 3 mins the most only. Then later i will keep taking out the ultrasound picture to see.
My colleagues was telling me, Richard Li's gf gave birth to baby boy recently. He gave her HK$200 million worth of assets and baby has 5 body guards and 4 full time nannies to look after. Here i am, complaining that a S$2K confinement lady is very expensive. Haizz... different people different lives
aloevera08
Active Member
hippo: yeah. jogging. when i brisk walk, i end up jogging. hahaha.. cos i think walk is too slow and not shiok..
loke,
haha... btw, i came across on my preggers book - for cardio exercises, we shouldn't exceed 70% of our theoretical maximum heartrate. as for what we can or cannot, i think the guiding principle is as long as it doesn't endanger bb and wont be too much impact on your joints and ligament, it should be fine.
i am so itching to exercise. been stoning at home cos of this stupid cough. hmph!
siangjiao,
i think the highest risk is the confined areas like the flight itself. other than that, i dont think london is higher risk than sg now since we are more densely populated. anyway flu jab will not prevent us from H1N1 if that's what's on your mind. bring sanitizers and if you're really worried, wear the N95 mask onboard. hope you have a good trip nonetheless!
haha... btw, i came across on my preggers book - for cardio exercises, we shouldn't exceed 70% of our theoretical maximum heartrate. as for what we can or cannot, i think the guiding principle is as long as it doesn't endanger bb and wont be too much impact on your joints and ligament, it should be fine.
i am so itching to exercise. been stoning at home cos of this stupid cough. hmph!
siangjiao,
i think the highest risk is the confined areas like the flight itself. other than that, i dont think london is higher risk than sg now since we are more densely populated. anyway flu jab will not prevent us from H1N1 if that's what's on your mind. bring sanitizers and if you're really worried, wear the N95 mask onboard. hope you have a good trip nonetheless!
aloevera08
Active Member
hippo: that's good information. i never push myself a lot though. i find it a little hard to jog like in the past. always felt that the tummy going up and down not quite synchronized with my jogging pace. so i also try to minimize that bumping movement.
pingwen1703
New Member
hi siangjiao
ya lo, diff ppl diff life... haizzzz. some so rich some so poor "(
hi ong
i think ur hubby will say take inj not gd for bb de...
hi blink n mie n sweet...
how i wish i can afford lo, so ex.....my gynae checkup c bb is like onli a min lo, have to wait so long den can c bb "(
hi all
who is staying with in laws and like to share any unhappy or moody story? me keen to hear, also got moody story to share "(
lifes so bored... my family going tour for a wk, how i wish i can go too....haizzzz
ya lo, diff ppl diff life... haizzzz. some so rich some so poor "(
hi ong
i think ur hubby will say take inj not gd for bb de...
hi blink n mie n sweet...
how i wish i can afford lo, so ex.....my gynae checkup c bb is like onli a min lo, have to wait so long den can c bb "(
hi all
who is staying with in laws and like to share any unhappy or moody story? me keen to hear, also got moody story to share "(
lifes so bored... my family going tour for a wk, how i wish i can go too....haizzzz
pingwen1703
New Member
LIFES VERY BORED "(
pingwen1703
New Member
hi all
any1 who is staying with in laws and feel like moving out? but, bcos husband name stuck as owner in the flat?
any idea we can we do we move out? buy another new flat? any1 can guide??
any1 who is staying with in laws and feel like moving out? but, bcos husband name stuck as owner in the flat?
any idea we can we do we move out? buy another new flat? any1 can guide??
Morning all,
anyone keen to buy things from kidsurplus? got 10% off ar!! offers ends 6 Jul 09. interested pls PM me as I am still on course today. www.kidsurplus.com
most of the times i buy my swaddle me lah, dr brown's bottles there
hippo,
ehehe u shd have waited
10% off leh
anyone keen to buy things from kidsurplus? got 10% off ar!! offers ends 6 Jul 09. interested pls PM me as I am still on course today. www.kidsurplus.com
most of the times i buy my swaddle me lah, dr brown's bottles there
hippo,
ehehe u shd have waited
10% off leh mumluvbabe
New Member
sorry to disturb,any mummies looking for confinement lady? aunty lee is looking for mummy who delivery in this mth, this is the feedback abt her from a tripplet mummy.sms me at 98572771 for her contact
http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/messages/578191/1279841.html#MB
http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/messages/578191/1279841.html#MB
pingwen1703
New Member
hi all
any1 can help?
i m currently staying wif my in laws, my hubby is wking from sun to wed for alt wk and sun to tue for alt wk, from 7-8pm.
when is he not around, i m trap in his rm, his mum who has a stroke, cant communicate wif me, sits down from 7-6pm in the living rm, to watch her scv.
me, being ok, has quitted my job as i cant cope wif morng sickness, and co did not approve my unpaid leave.
his dad, in his 60s, has his own small business, mayb wking on some days, mayb nt. even if wking, may come home very early as business is bad and stuck his ass on the sofa wif his mum till 6pm...
during days when he is at wk, i feel very LONELY, i am trap in his rm,cos i do not wish to be sitting in the living rm, watching SCV, for the whole day. Even if i wan to watch Tv, it would be of my own pref, but not SCV whole day for everyday.I will go mad. In this way, i am advised to stay in my rm and watch Tv, and trap inside the room le,,,
BB is going to be born out soon in oct, due to hygiene problem at mum place, i do not have the intention of letting mum take care of Bb everyday, but no1 can help out when bb is at his place. although his maid can, but, who cn i blame if the mistake is his maid's? i will hv no choice but to keep quiet cos i m not very close wif his dad n mum, in fact, his maid is more closer to them
Hubby, being the only guy who has to support the family, is tired enough,and i do not wish to give him more problem as his dad is damn attitude sometimes le... but, his boss, wishes to see him at the office more often, even on his off days, cos his boss wish that my hubby can take up more responsibility. he, on the other end, hoping for a promotion, is trying to go back to wk almost evryday, although i told him i am lonely, in fact, so lonely that i feel like ending my life sometimes..he ask me not to anyhow think and i will always have him by my side. but, he always say i am giving him problem in wking well when i need him"(
my family has gone on a 1 wk trip this wk, when they are around, i will go hm in the morng and only come back till hubby is off from wk. travel to and fro is very tiring as locations ia at east and west area. but, i have no choice... to go home is bcos i need proper meals and to pass time... to come back is bcos me n bb needs his hug. bb, wifout him by my side, is very quiet and seldoms moves abt..i did nt tell any1 abt this problem, but, my sis, who noe that i travel to n fro from morng and nite is bcos i am lonely... even she noes... hubby who says that he noe too, does he reali noe?
Flat is under his name as owner, i feel like asking him to move out cos i cant stand the loneliness and being trap in the room to wait for him to off work for moree than 10 hrs everyday. but, i think if he were to remove his name at this flat and buy a new 1, his dad, being co-owner, who takes over it, has to pay him back whatever he has paid over the yrs and we guess he cant afford it. but neither, can he afford to have 2 flats under his name...
coming up to this forum is bcos i reali have no 1 to talk to... how? i m going mad soon... my emotional feelings is changing,, i scare i cant take it. i always cry when he goes to wk, more sad when he goes back on his off days... me n bb needs him "(
any1 can help?
i m currently staying wif my in laws, my hubby is wking from sun to wed for alt wk and sun to tue for alt wk, from 7-8pm.
when is he not around, i m trap in his rm, his mum who has a stroke, cant communicate wif me, sits down from 7-6pm in the living rm, to watch her scv.
me, being ok, has quitted my job as i cant cope wif morng sickness, and co did not approve my unpaid leave.
his dad, in his 60s, has his own small business, mayb wking on some days, mayb nt. even if wking, may come home very early as business is bad and stuck his ass on the sofa wif his mum till 6pm...
during days when he is at wk, i feel very LONELY, i am trap in his rm,cos i do not wish to be sitting in the living rm, watching SCV, for the whole day. Even if i wan to watch Tv, it would be of my own pref, but not SCV whole day for everyday.I will go mad. In this way, i am advised to stay in my rm and watch Tv, and trap inside the room le,,,
BB is going to be born out soon in oct, due to hygiene problem at mum place, i do not have the intention of letting mum take care of Bb everyday, but no1 can help out when bb is at his place. although his maid can, but, who cn i blame if the mistake is his maid's? i will hv no choice but to keep quiet cos i m not very close wif his dad n mum, in fact, his maid is more closer to them
Hubby, being the only guy who has to support the family, is tired enough,and i do not wish to give him more problem as his dad is damn attitude sometimes le... but, his boss, wishes to see him at the office more often, even on his off days, cos his boss wish that my hubby can take up more responsibility. he, on the other end, hoping for a promotion, is trying to go back to wk almost evryday, although i told him i am lonely, in fact, so lonely that i feel like ending my life sometimes..he ask me not to anyhow think and i will always have him by my side. but, he always say i am giving him problem in wking well when i need him"(
my family has gone on a 1 wk trip this wk, when they are around, i will go hm in the morng and only come back till hubby is off from wk. travel to and fro is very tiring as locations ia at east and west area. but, i have no choice... to go home is bcos i need proper meals and to pass time... to come back is bcos me n bb needs his hug. bb, wifout him by my side, is very quiet and seldoms moves abt..i did nt tell any1 abt this problem, but, my sis, who noe that i travel to n fro from morng and nite is bcos i am lonely... even she noes... hubby who says that he noe too, does he reali noe?
Flat is under his name as owner, i feel like asking him to move out cos i cant stand the loneliness and being trap in the room to wait for him to off work for moree than 10 hrs everyday. but, i think if he were to remove his name at this flat and buy a new 1, his dad, being co-owner, who takes over it, has to pay him back whatever he has paid over the yrs and we guess he cant afford it. but neither, can he afford to have 2 flats under his name...
coming up to this forum is bcos i reali have no 1 to talk to... how? i m going mad soon... my emotional feelings is changing,, i scare i cant take it. i always cry when he goes to wk, more sad when he goes back on his off days... me n bb needs him "(
hey mylvera,
alamak! i knew this sort of things would happen lor. ah well, but never mind lah. it was still easier for me via amazon.com cos can use my credit card. tired of setting up so many online shopping accounts. remember to use comgateway instead of vpost or borderlinx.
alamak! i knew this sort of things would happen lor. ah well, but never mind lah. it was still easier for me via amazon.com cos can use my credit card. tired of setting up so many online shopping accounts. remember to use comgateway instead of vpost or borderlinx.
lin: hmm..... if your hubby is financial stable enough, the best is to get ur own flat? Why is the flat under his name and not ur fil? ... if got the extra $$, maybe can suggest to him to transfer the name to his dad so that u two can get a flat of ur own lor.. maybe for a start a 3 room flat? at least u have ur own space of freedom
i had a similar problem, but i've told him my views of staying with his mom before we even got married.. and he also understand where i'm coming from lah..
so he faster settle the house problem (sold the condo, which was under the mom and his name) and the mom had to resort to staying with the sister place temporary, and my hubby gotta move into my house.. so now we are waiting for our flat.. which will be ready hopefully next yr end..
and we will be moving back to my mil place (she just gotten a new place) for the time being after bb is out as my place do not have extra room for baby..
i had a similar problem, but i've told him my views of staying with his mom before we even got married.. and he also understand where i'm coming from lah..
so he faster settle the house problem (sold the condo, which was under the mom and his name) and the mom had to resort to staying with the sister place temporary, and my hubby gotta move into my house.. so now we are waiting for our flat.. which will be ready hopefully next yr end..
and we will be moving back to my mil place (she just gotten a new place) for the time being after bb is out as my place do not have extra room for baby..
lin: take up some hobbies at the momemnt, like go for cooking classes, or go to the library to read. Or meet up with friends. If your friends are busy working, email them instead.
Play computer games, read up, do projects, like arrange your photos or stuff. Write a blog about your pregnancy. Listen to music. Find some places where you can volunteer your time if you like. Don't just depend on your husband for company.
Play computer games, read up, do projects, like arrange your photos or stuff. Write a blog about your pregnancy. Listen to music. Find some places where you can volunteer your time if you like. Don't just depend on your husband for company.
pingwen1703
New Member
Dear sweet
thanks for ur reply..
his elder bro n sis is already married n staying with in laws too. B4 we get married, his old hdb flat was tear down by govt and they are req to get a new flat. so, his family already took the chance to get a new flat under my hubby name as Owner and his dad as co-owner cos his dad no cpfb contibution.
His dad did contribute out the sale of old flat $ to this new flat during the down-payment. as heard from hubby, his dad does not have much savings and business is bad, there is no way he can speak up to say that he wishes to take out his name as Owner for this current flat and hands over the position of Owner to his dad. cos understand that if he did that, his dad has to return him the amt that he has been paying to HDB for these few yrs for this flat. i understand that just for initial payment of this current flat, he already paid a $30K using CPFB. can u imagine how will his dad be able to fork out $30K to pay him? not to mention the mthly payment that my hubby has been paying for the past few yrs? at least $40K le...
B4 marriage, i already know that i have to stay wif his parents. But, when married, i used to come his place for max 3 days as location is very far from his place to my office and did not mind anything. Now that i am jobless and stay with them everyday, i see the diff.
bb will be out soon, i wish to have the master bedroom but he does not dare to tell his parents, as he say his mum needs the toilet in the room often (cos she got stroke). i only wants the master bedroom cos i hope bb wont be cope up in our small room with limited air.so, i gave in and agree to put bb cot in his maid room, providing his dad has to remove his desk from the rm with some packing done(cos he already got a PC table at his own masterrm), but his dad also not happy.
what can i do? force him to move out so many excuses...bb at my house, we worry abt our hygiene, bb at his place, no1 can help to look after...
we as humans always want the best, for ourselves, for our next generation, i ask him buy car, he say burden, i do agree.. i ask him to ask his parents move out of masterrm, he say hard to speak up, buy house also like this... many excuses,,, just bcos i have no income at the moment, i have to give in to him, i have voiced out, but have to choice but to listen to him again cos i dont wish to see c him so stressed. now that there is a big changes in our life, is there no way he can spare a though for us? i noe i am lucky to hv a hubby who feels heart pain at my morng sickness and ask me to quit my job to rest. i noe his wk stress and family stress, thats y i choose to keep things in my heart sometimes and not add on to his burden and stress.
the reason i wants move out is also cos i cant stand his dad yaya way, always when scold his mum or quarrel wif my hubby, will say that ' i am the 1 buying all the things in this family' sucks'. so what? u are still our burdern, man... my hubby is the 1 paying for all the bills, even if he pays for all grocery, just my hubby monthly HDB payments to his house will be much more. y want to compare if we are a family? whenevr we eat at his place, we would buy our own ingredients, even noodles also buy our own, except rice. there was once his mum still say my hubby very yaya, what position is she to say that? she is now handicapped with strokes, my hubby got her a maid to take care of her needs. all she do is wake up, sit in the cooling living rm with 2 fans on, blow her cooling air, and watch her SCV from morng to evening. no burden no stress.
i know its rule for me to say that cos sometimes i do find his mum very pitiful, but it hurts me more when i heard his mum citisize my hubby, who has always been sparing a though for them. there are so many things rhey dont know, but only know how to talk cock.at that time, i reali feel like scolding his mum.
y is it that i have been trying my best to give him the best, sparing a though for him, but he nvr knows and feels that i am giving him trouble? but the 1 who is always giving him trouble, he feels that he cant treat them bad. is my req to live alone so hard?
i m not a greedy person, like what you say, a smaller house is good too, at least own freedom. this is what i want only but he cant give me... he keep saying his family is old, he cant live them alone. i am not young either, being 29, i find time flies, and would pass faster when bb is out..i feel he is stuck in his world with them, though he says that me n bb is most impt. feel like having a divorce..
i am very glad for you as ur hubby understand your needs very much and u have understanding in laws (even if ur in laws do mind ur hubby decision, ur hubby still stand forward to understand ur views and took action)treasure your hubby and luv him more..
thanks for ur reply..
his elder bro n sis is already married n staying with in laws too. B4 we get married, his old hdb flat was tear down by govt and they are req to get a new flat. so, his family already took the chance to get a new flat under my hubby name as Owner and his dad as co-owner cos his dad no cpfb contibution.
His dad did contribute out the sale of old flat $ to this new flat during the down-payment. as heard from hubby, his dad does not have much savings and business is bad, there is no way he can speak up to say that he wishes to take out his name as Owner for this current flat and hands over the position of Owner to his dad. cos understand that if he did that, his dad has to return him the amt that he has been paying to HDB for these few yrs for this flat. i understand that just for initial payment of this current flat, he already paid a $30K using CPFB. can u imagine how will his dad be able to fork out $30K to pay him? not to mention the mthly payment that my hubby has been paying for the past few yrs? at least $40K le...
B4 marriage, i already know that i have to stay wif his parents. But, when married, i used to come his place for max 3 days as location is very far from his place to my office and did not mind anything. Now that i am jobless and stay with them everyday, i see the diff.
bb will be out soon, i wish to have the master bedroom but he does not dare to tell his parents, as he say his mum needs the toilet in the room often (cos she got stroke). i only wants the master bedroom cos i hope bb wont be cope up in our small room with limited air.so, i gave in and agree to put bb cot in his maid room, providing his dad has to remove his desk from the rm with some packing done(cos he already got a PC table at his own masterrm), but his dad also not happy.
what can i do? force him to move out so many excuses...bb at my house, we worry abt our hygiene, bb at his place, no1 can help to look after...
we as humans always want the best, for ourselves, for our next generation, i ask him buy car, he say burden, i do agree.. i ask him to ask his parents move out of masterrm, he say hard to speak up, buy house also like this... many excuses,,, just bcos i have no income at the moment, i have to give in to him, i have voiced out, but have to choice but to listen to him again cos i dont wish to see c him so stressed. now that there is a big changes in our life, is there no way he can spare a though for us? i noe i am lucky to hv a hubby who feels heart pain at my morng sickness and ask me to quit my job to rest. i noe his wk stress and family stress, thats y i choose to keep things in my heart sometimes and not add on to his burden and stress.
the reason i wants move out is also cos i cant stand his dad yaya way, always when scold his mum or quarrel wif my hubby, will say that ' i am the 1 buying all the things in this family' sucks'. so what? u are still our burdern, man... my hubby is the 1 paying for all the bills, even if he pays for all grocery, just my hubby monthly HDB payments to his house will be much more. y want to compare if we are a family? whenevr we eat at his place, we would buy our own ingredients, even noodles also buy our own, except rice. there was once his mum still say my hubby very yaya, what position is she to say that? she is now handicapped with strokes, my hubby got her a maid to take care of her needs. all she do is wake up, sit in the cooling living rm with 2 fans on, blow her cooling air, and watch her SCV from morng to evening. no burden no stress.
i know its rule for me to say that cos sometimes i do find his mum very pitiful, but it hurts me more when i heard his mum citisize my hubby, who has always been sparing a though for them. there are so many things rhey dont know, but only know how to talk cock.at that time, i reali feel like scolding his mum.
y is it that i have been trying my best to give him the best, sparing a though for him, but he nvr knows and feels that i am giving him trouble? but the 1 who is always giving him trouble, he feels that he cant treat them bad. is my req to live alone so hard?
i m not a greedy person, like what you say, a smaller house is good too, at least own freedom. this is what i want only but he cant give me... he keep saying his family is old, he cant live them alone. i am not young either, being 29, i find time flies, and would pass faster when bb is out..i feel he is stuck in his world with them, though he says that me n bb is most impt. feel like having a divorce..
i am very glad for you as ur hubby understand your needs very much and u have understanding in laws (even if ur in laws do mind ur hubby decision, ur hubby still stand forward to understand ur views and took action)treasure your hubby and luv him more..
pingwen1703
New Member
hi glass and siangjiao
thanks for concerns and sugguestions...bw, are u both wking or not wking?
i have very less frnds, except for some ex colleagues. we have just met up few days ago and guess it wont be soon to meet up ago.
my hubby and sis has ask me to take up courses too, but if i were to attend alone, guess hubby wont allow as he dont really likes me to go out alone. i know i shouldnt depend on him for accompany. but theres no1 else i can turn to.. i feel like time crawls... i have told him to accompany me more, he says will be wif me when i needs him. but when i reali do, he is not here for me..
i now only look forward to seeing bb at gynae every mth..
thanks for concerns and sugguestions...bw, are u both wking or not wking?
i have very less frnds, except for some ex colleagues. we have just met up few days ago and guess it wont be soon to meet up ago.
my hubby and sis has ask me to take up courses too, but if i were to attend alone, guess hubby wont allow as he dont really likes me to go out alone. i know i shouldnt depend on him for accompany. but theres no1 else i can turn to.. i feel like time crawls... i have told him to accompany me more, he says will be wif me when i needs him. but when i reali do, he is not here for me..
i now only look forward to seeing bb at gynae every mth..
siangjiao>> saw ur question abt flu jab. jus to share...i had the flu jab a mth back (after consultation with my gynae). was also hesitant abt it.. but my gynae said I shld cos young kids and preggies are in the higher risk category.
and since i am workin in the airport - i thought my exposure is in the higher category, so i took the advice and took the jab (even though i wasn't planning on any travel).
felt generally ok after the jab - jus a bit tired for a day. (oh..and it helps that i didn't have to pay for the jab - company encouraged us to take)
so it's really up to you to assess the pros and cons
and since i am workin in the airport - i thought my exposure is in the higher category, so i took the advice and took the jab (even though i wasn't planning on any travel).
felt generally ok after the jab - jus a bit tired for a day. (oh..and it helps that i didn't have to pay for the jab - company encouraged us to take)
so it's really up to you to assess the pros and cons
lin,
our lives are how we live it. there are many of us who are not working on this thread but live pretty fulfilling lives too. sweetzinc is a glowing example. she's studying. for me, i choose to nua around. but that's me and i like it that way.
your situation will not improve unless u take hold of yourself and pick yourself up. you are right, do not give extra burden to your HB. can u imagine the stress he is under-going as he is the sole breadwinner of your household!!!
if you really cant stand facing your in-laws, then go out and do things that will make you happy. dont say your HB dun like you to go out alone. you are old enough and capable enough to take care of yourself. so go out there and find something you like to do. maybe can make yourself useful like volunteer at some non-profit organisations for the less fortunate communities around us.
living in self pity is no good for yourself nor your baby. can you imagine what kind of sad baby you will have when you give birth?
only you can snap out of this and no one can help you unless you choose to.
sorry i may sound very harsh but i find it hard to understand why pple choose to dig a hole so deep and dun come out, when our bbs need us to be happy and chirpy for them.
hope you'll eventually find the light at the end of the tunnel.
our lives are how we live it. there are many of us who are not working on this thread but live pretty fulfilling lives too. sweetzinc is a glowing example. she's studying. for me, i choose to nua around. but that's me and i like it that way.
your situation will not improve unless u take hold of yourself and pick yourself up. you are right, do not give extra burden to your HB. can u imagine the stress he is under-going as he is the sole breadwinner of your household!!!
if you really cant stand facing your in-laws, then go out and do things that will make you happy. dont say your HB dun like you to go out alone. you are old enough and capable enough to take care of yourself. so go out there and find something you like to do. maybe can make yourself useful like volunteer at some non-profit organisations for the less fortunate communities around us.
living in self pity is no good for yourself nor your baby. can you imagine what kind of sad baby you will have when you give birth?
only you can snap out of this and no one can help you unless you choose to.
sorry i may sound very harsh but i find it hard to understand why pple choose to dig a hole so deep and dun come out, when our bbs need us to be happy and chirpy for them.
hope you'll eventually find the light at the end of the tunnel.
lin: I'm working currently. My husband is super busy and we don't live together. So I only see him during the weekends. So when I'm free, I'll just do my own stuff.
Your hubby seems to be showing his concern in a way that stifles you. He doesn't have time for you and yet doesn't want you to go out alone. What is he afraid of? Anyway, for courses, they tend to be quite short, and you can spend the rest of your time practising.
I'm currently attending singing classes, so I treat it as a time out for myself. You could find one or two mtbs who may be keen to join the same course, or find a course at a cc near your place. Give him a call when you reach there, and when you reach home. This could help to allay your husband's fear of something happening to you when you are out alone.
Or, do you really have to tell him every single thing you do? The time you travel to your parents' place is your own, and you would be on your own as well, I think you could just use that time to do your own thing.
Your hubby seems to be showing his concern in a way that stifles you. He doesn't have time for you and yet doesn't want you to go out alone. What is he afraid of? Anyway, for courses, they tend to be quite short, and you can spend the rest of your time practising.
I'm currently attending singing classes, so I treat it as a time out for myself. You could find one or two mtbs who may be keen to join the same course, or find a course at a cc near your place. Give him a call when you reach there, and when you reach home. This could help to allay your husband's fear of something happening to you when you are out alone.
Or, do you really have to tell him every single thing you do? The time you travel to your parents' place is your own, and you would be on your own as well, I think you could just use that time to do your own thing.
regarding flu jab, i guess it should be safe because my gynae actually wanted me to take it 2 months ago. But I didn't want it because I don't subscribe to the the vaccination theory, plus I feel I am actually 'healthier' during my pregnancy due to the multi-vitamins. I used to get flu frequently, but touch wood, now so far ok.
aloevera08
Active Member
lin: i do agree a lot with hippo on this. u really got to make a decision for yourself to come out of this. you dont have to coop yourself in the room all the time. try to talk to your mil sometimes.. if you cant click with your fil then so be it.. since mil is sick.. just maybe spend 5 to 10mins chit chatting with her..
these old people also got nothing to do.. their lives may not be as good as yours now too. so if you want to have better days.. u got to create it yourself.
moving out is not a solution because your hubby would also have another burden to have to go and see his parents once a week or once every two weeks.
isolationg yourself from your in-laws is not a solution. not good emotionally and mentally for you. for the old folks.. they are resigned to it cos they are old already.. but if you choose to live your life like that at such a young age.. then its not going to be too good in future for you, ur hb and ur baby.
so like what hippo said.. start to climb out of the deep hole and create a new life for yourself.
quote:"hope you'll eventually find the light at the end of the tunnel."
these old people also got nothing to do.. their lives may not be as good as yours now too. so if you want to have better days.. u got to create it yourself.
moving out is not a solution because your hubby would also have another burden to have to go and see his parents once a week or once every two weeks.
isolationg yourself from your in-laws is not a solution. not good emotionally and mentally for you. for the old folks.. they are resigned to it cos they are old already.. but if you choose to live your life like that at such a young age.. then its not going to be too good in future for you, ur hb and ur baby.
so like what hippo said.. start to climb out of the deep hole and create a new life for yourself.
quote:"hope you'll eventually find the light at the end of the tunnel."
aloevera08
Active Member
btw, create a new lifestyle is like what others said... find activities!! hehe. cc activities are a lot and not expensive also.. u'll also get to meet a lot of new people.. enlarge your circle of friends.
forum can only do so much. compared to physically being around with other people is different...
live a life!!
forum can only do so much. compared to physically being around with other people is different...
live a life!!
aloevera08
Active Member
hippo: haha.. no prob lah.. my hubby playing guitar in church this weekend.. u want to come and see also can!!! we welcome everybody..
bluesea2
Member
Hi Lin,
Understand your loneliness but like some said, do try to find something to occupy your time. Being cooped up at home, you may start to feel moody and get pre-natal depression. *Hugs*
I hv not been a SAHM so I may not understand fully your predicament but when I was on maternity leave previously and inlaws were here to stay with me during those months, I tried my best to live with them. Try to talk to your MIL and sit down to watch some TV programs together; when you're eating something, ask if she wants, talk about the current news .... the key is to break the ice and establish some common topics to talk about. I'm sure when your hubby returns home, he will be happy to know you are well and everything at home is fine. I can imagine him being stressed as he's the sole breadwinner with aging parents, a seemingly unhappy wife and with a baby to support. Not easy for him, so perhaps that's why he's looking at the promotion to bring more $$ home. And I believe he's already trying his best to accompany you. Imagine some of the hubbies here need to travel overseas for work. isnt that worse?
Actually, you're still free to move about now. You can visit your parents, or do you hv relatives like aunties whom you're close to? Can visit them, visit museums, public library to read up on pregnancy, etc. Imagine after bb is born, you'll be busy and it's a greater challenge to bring bb out in public transport esp when the journey is long. So cherish the moments you hv now.
As for the house issue, it's indeed tricky. Your hubby is the owner and taking his name out would mean your FIL has to repay him which he cant do. Can understand why your hubby said it's tough to bring this topic up. They are afterall his parents and he feels a sense of responsibility towards them. I think by adjusting your preception towards this whole issue, you will be able to accept them into your lives and live with them.
Last but not least, there will definitely be some conflicts living together. But learn to let go at times. And you still hv this forum to vent out if need be. We'll be listening, yeah?
Take care, hugs.
Understand your loneliness but like some said, do try to find something to occupy your time. Being cooped up at home, you may start to feel moody and get pre-natal depression. *Hugs*
I hv not been a SAHM so I may not understand fully your predicament but when I was on maternity leave previously and inlaws were here to stay with me during those months, I tried my best to live with them. Try to talk to your MIL and sit down to watch some TV programs together; when you're eating something, ask if she wants, talk about the current news .... the key is to break the ice and establish some common topics to talk about. I'm sure when your hubby returns home, he will be happy to know you are well and everything at home is fine. I can imagine him being stressed as he's the sole breadwinner with aging parents, a seemingly unhappy wife and with a baby to support. Not easy for him, so perhaps that's why he's looking at the promotion to bring more $$ home. And I believe he's already trying his best to accompany you. Imagine some of the hubbies here need to travel overseas for work. isnt that worse?
Actually, you're still free to move about now. You can visit your parents, or do you hv relatives like aunties whom you're close to? Can visit them, visit museums, public library to read up on pregnancy, etc. Imagine after bb is born, you'll be busy and it's a greater challenge to bring bb out in public transport esp when the journey is long. So cherish the moments you hv now.
As for the house issue, it's indeed tricky. Your hubby is the owner and taking his name out would mean your FIL has to repay him which he cant do. Can understand why your hubby said it's tough to bring this topic up. They are afterall his parents and he feels a sense of responsibility towards them. I think by adjusting your preception towards this whole issue, you will be able to accept them into your lives and live with them.
Last but not least, there will definitely be some conflicts living together. But learn to let go at times. And you still hv this forum to vent out if need be. We'll be listening, yeah?
Take care, hugs.
aloevera08
Active Member
astro: YEAH!!!! i woke up feeling so blue!!! then i realise its FRIDAY!!!!!!!!!!!! hahhahaha...
bluesea: nice message to lin!
lin: we all support u!!
suddenly i'm in a fantastic mood...
bluesea: nice message to lin!
lin: we all support u!!
suddenly i'm in a fantastic mood...
lin: hope you will cheer up soon. Bad for you and baby to be sad and negative all the time. I guess the pregnancy hormones are not helping much either.
I think its not good to coop yourself up in the room all day and it probably contributes to your feeling so down. Do go out and take walks once in a while. In fact sometimes i enjoy shopping without HB!
He's like that shadow... hahhaa, looking at what I am buying, so i feel sometimes its more fun to go out shopping on my own.
Search online for some crafts to do for baby. Keep yourself busy. I'm making my own baby toys and booties now to pass time as I work from home and am taking in less projects these days. I can pass you some craft ideas if you are interested to try
I think its not good to coop yourself up in the room all day and it probably contributes to your feeling so down. Do go out and take walks once in a while. In fact sometimes i enjoy shopping without HB!
Search online for some crafts to do for baby. Keep yourself busy. I'm making my own baby toys and booties now to pass time as I work from home and am taking in less projects these days. I can pass you some craft ideas if you are interested to try
Hi lin, I'm so sorry to hear about your predicament. I'm sure it's tough being in your position. But I think the others have given pretty good advice. Take a walk for some fresh air (surely your hubby won't mind that). That will take up 30 mins already. Read up, sleep more.
Also, if there are some things which are out of your control, don't fret over it. Think instead how best you want to respond to it. I attended a course last year which taught me that we can't control what happens to us, but we can control how we react to it. It's tough to put into practice (I'm an emotional kinda person), but try it out. Good luck!
Also, not sure if you have come across a fable about a MIL and DIL. They did not get along. The DIL hated the MIL and went to a wise old man to ask for some poison to kill the MIL. The wise old man gave her smth which would kill her MIL over time, and asked her to put it into the MIL's food. However, in order not to have the MIL suspect anything, he told her that she must be polite to her, be a good DIL and serve her. So the DIL did that and their relationship improved. It reached the point where the poison was supposed to take effect, and the DIL regretted having asked for the poison, so she panicked and went back to the wise old man and asked for an antidote. The wise old man told her that actually, he had not given her any poison, only harmless herbs. Moral of the story? We can't change others, but we can change the way we react to them.
Good luck, and stay strong!
Also, if there are some things which are out of your control, don't fret over it. Think instead how best you want to respond to it. I attended a course last year which taught me that we can't control what happens to us, but we can control how we react to it. It's tough to put into practice (I'm an emotional kinda person), but try it out. Good luck!
Also, not sure if you have come across a fable about a MIL and DIL. They did not get along. The DIL hated the MIL and went to a wise old man to ask for some poison to kill the MIL. The wise old man gave her smth which would kill her MIL over time, and asked her to put it into the MIL's food. However, in order not to have the MIL suspect anything, he told her that she must be polite to her, be a good DIL and serve her. So the DIL did that and their relationship improved. It reached the point where the poison was supposed to take effect, and the DIL regretted having asked for the poison, so she panicked and went back to the wise old man and asked for an antidote. The wise old man told her that actually, he had not given her any poison, only harmless herbs. Moral of the story? We can't change others, but we can change the way we react to them.
Good luck, and stay strong!
aloevera08
Active Member
hippo: i've always wondered what's TGIF.. i only know .gif are picture file formats.. hahhaa.. Too Good Its Friday??
aloevera08
Active Member
funzee: i like the fable!! nice!!! that's what i'm trying to say too!
the world is in OUR HANDS!!! wahhaa...
hippo: i'm still in a fantastic mood!! going to pick up hubby NOW from his camp.. he just finisheed reservist!!! yay!!!
the world is in OUR HANDS!!! wahhaa...
hippo: i'm still in a fantastic mood!! going to pick up hubby NOW from his camp.. he just finisheed reservist!!! yay!!!
pingwen1703
New Member
hi all mums
i thanks very much for ur advice..n is consoled to c many ppl showing their concrn to me.
i admit i do have problem communicating with MIL, as due to her stroke n high blood pressure, the way she talk is mumble. even my hubby has problem knowing what she is saying n we are of diff dialect too. this makes our communication harder.
there was once a period i sleep to pass time, only to realise that it makes my head pains, so i slept lesser n the problem went away. sometimes, i just sudden feel that my head is very blank... as if nothing inside. i just feel that its bcos i m bored, super bored thats y it causes it..
i have nvr wanted to be a full time housewife for long, in fact, i am not 1 now.and hv make clear to him that i will definitely be going out to work after giving birth...so why is he still bothering abt all this $ issues? i hv neither feel that he is a poor guy, n neither do i take $ from him every mth..in fact, i m using my own savings to survive from this maternity period, but i also dont mind...
tat day, he was telling me that he had earned some ot for the mth n was happi though its onli hundred plus. but there was one day he had to went down to sgh a&e via train cos his dad was unwell, i already ask him not to take train as he would be tired travelling from Boon Lay to Outram, he did not want to listen to me. End up, he acted as the gd guy and paid for his dad hospitalisation fees of 120. u all c, whats the point? earn 180 like hell n spend 120 like water.he was telling me that his dad needed his companion at the hospital, but he did not went down as he feels no point to wait at the observation ward for 8 hours, he says that his dad is unhappy.y r things going on like this? ur son is married, n his wife is even expecting now, since there is nothing he can do to show concerns, pls dont be a burden to us.pls dont snatch my hubby away from me, as i needs him more than any1 else.
i have always like jigsaw puzles n is thinking of buy 1 that is 3-4k pcs to do n pass time. but whenever i c the price so ex, i feel very heart pain for him and dont wish to buy. whatever i buy, i alwasy look at the price cos i know hes not a atm, but whenever he spends money on his family, he dont mind.y m i doing all this for? my sis has ask me, in fact, my hubby, has also ask me to use his $, but i dont want.. in the end, what do i get?
with him wking ot these few days, he say that he can afford to bring me to eat nicer food. but i say whats the point of earning much n spending much? what i wants is his companion n not his money..
perhaps all of u r are very lucky to have gd in laws, who is not occupying the living room whole day to watch scv. can any of u imagine this? i have ask him to move his scv set to the masterrm for them to watch, so i can be in the living rm often, but he says that he dont want to trap them inside whole day. so what it means? i have to be trap inside whole day
this morng, i cried, i think his maid heard it n told his dad n told him.. when he asked me, i say its flu... no point cos hes def not some1 i can confide in.. i lied to him that i had fever, hoping that he can come home, but all he ask is how r u? i say i m better after bath. i choose not to lie, cos i know even if i m sick, he wont come home. he only feel that i am a disturbance to his wk. i noe,,, cos i have encounter once b4
i thanks very much for ur advice..n is consoled to c many ppl showing their concrn to me.
i admit i do have problem communicating with MIL, as due to her stroke n high blood pressure, the way she talk is mumble. even my hubby has problem knowing what she is saying n we are of diff dialect too. this makes our communication harder.
there was once a period i sleep to pass time, only to realise that it makes my head pains, so i slept lesser n the problem went away. sometimes, i just sudden feel that my head is very blank... as if nothing inside. i just feel that its bcos i m bored, super bored thats y it causes it..
i have nvr wanted to be a full time housewife for long, in fact, i am not 1 now.and hv make clear to him that i will definitely be going out to work after giving birth...so why is he still bothering abt all this $ issues? i hv neither feel that he is a poor guy, n neither do i take $ from him every mth..in fact, i m using my own savings to survive from this maternity period, but i also dont mind...
tat day, he was telling me that he had earned some ot for the mth n was happi though its onli hundred plus. but there was one day he had to went down to sgh a&e via train cos his dad was unwell, i already ask him not to take train as he would be tired travelling from Boon Lay to Outram, he did not want to listen to me. End up, he acted as the gd guy and paid for his dad hospitalisation fees of 120. u all c, whats the point? earn 180 like hell n spend 120 like water.he was telling me that his dad needed his companion at the hospital, but he did not went down as he feels no point to wait at the observation ward for 8 hours, he says that his dad is unhappy.y r things going on like this? ur son is married, n his wife is even expecting now, since there is nothing he can do to show concerns, pls dont be a burden to us.pls dont snatch my hubby away from me, as i needs him more than any1 else.
i have always like jigsaw puzles n is thinking of buy 1 that is 3-4k pcs to do n pass time. but whenever i c the price so ex, i feel very heart pain for him and dont wish to buy. whatever i buy, i alwasy look at the price cos i know hes not a atm, but whenever he spends money on his family, he dont mind.y m i doing all this for? my sis has ask me, in fact, my hubby, has also ask me to use his $, but i dont want.. in the end, what do i get?
with him wking ot these few days, he say that he can afford to bring me to eat nicer food. but i say whats the point of earning much n spending much? what i wants is his companion n not his money..
perhaps all of u r are very lucky to have gd in laws, who is not occupying the living room whole day to watch scv. can any of u imagine this? i have ask him to move his scv set to the masterrm for them to watch, so i can be in the living rm often, but he says that he dont want to trap them inside whole day. so what it means? i have to be trap inside whole day
this morng, i cried, i think his maid heard it n told his dad n told him.. when he asked me, i say its flu... no point cos hes def not some1 i can confide in.. i lied to him that i had fever, hoping that he can come home, but all he ask is how r u? i say i m better after bath. i choose not to lie, cos i know even if i m sick, he wont come home. he only feel that i am a disturbance to his wk. i noe,,, cos i have encounter once b4
