(2009/10) October 2009 MTBs

pupsandcups: i also will have depression period.. will suddenly feel very sad and frustrated with pregnancy coz very restricted..
then i will tok to my hubby or cry lor.. then will feel better..
wau u very superwoman.. need to do so many things plus working... salute u.. maybe u can get a part time maid to help u out with hsework... ;p God will bless u..
 


happy hippo: my hubby is v helpful, but i am a real pain, like everything the way he do, i prefer the way i do. i -AM- better at feeding leon, reading to him, even washing dishes he takes vv long cos he is so fussed about how clean it is, even tho i keep telling him we have 15 min to bedtime, lets hurry. so my hubby is v helpful, but i dunno my hormones or what, i am the kind i like to do everything on my own, as i trust myself more. he helps with washing clothes, hanging clothes, and he is v helpful. but his immune system is v low, like never sleep enough sure fall sick, that is why during this period he keep falling sleep.
anyway im just ranting away, usually, everything is ok im rather chill, but right now im a right here right now i must do everything sort of person.

THANKS EVERYONE for your supportive words, it really does help

mylvera
i really ENVY you too, have the mental strength to go thru all that. hopefully when all this has pass, i will pat myself on the back for the mental strength i have shown.
like you, my MIL is also a big prob to me, and also cos of my current state of mind, i simply cannot b around her, she is constantly critising me, asking why leon so thin, why he vomit, etc etc, i really dont need it. anyway, as luck has it, my SIL had chicken pox just recovered 1 week, so gynae agreed should distant from them.

sigh, try not to chat so much n focus on work.

i always stress myself. today appraisal.
 
pupsandcups,
in that case, then its def the hormones. so you gotta let loose a bit. cos if you so perfectionist, then you will run yourself to the ground, as evidently now.

take a step back, and breathe. it'll blow over soon enough.
 
happy hip
ya hope so, i dunno why i just am so horrible to be around with. i actually pity my hubby. he try so hard to help me yet always kena. i stay v focused on household chores, he a bit distracted by tv and i get annoyed too. i am mostly never annoyed by my son, except when he spits out food when im feeding him i lose my patience. i am also loudly swearing like saying f*** when i drop things, like spoon?? and just really crabby. i wan to be happy n pleasant to be around but why is it so hard?
 
mommies
u know when im not preg, even after giving birth but only after stopping bfeeding 1 year later, everytime i am dem stressed i will smoke, or have a drink, ie, alchohol? i mean not excessive, but 2-3 ciggs a day on a bad one, and 2 drinks (at home i make after my son sleeps). it hardly serves to calls myself an alchoholic or nicotine addict, but now that i cant take any of that, i feel like i cant manage my emotions?? pathetic right.
 
pupsandcups,

u r not a super woman nor a wonder woman. u can't be doing everything yrself. even if u engage a maid again, u can't ensure the maid is super duper clean or does things yr way. i totally agree with hippo. u must let loose n take a step back n BREATHE.
 
i dunno how to let loose at this point, am super high strung with lots of knotted muscles n bad sleep
sad.gif

u think i shd take meds?
 
pupsandcups,
was following this thread slowly and saw your posting.. it's good that you're pouring out here.. please do not let your mood affect your baby.. i'm also an oct 2009 mummy but seldom post here cos i'm more active in oct 2007 thread :p your leon is 2+ of years, mine is only 1.5 years old.. she's been terrorizing me lately..haha..

i really think 80% of your stress is self inflicted, the rest it's hormonal.. like you said you are a perfectionist and try to be the best mum to leon..but what's the point for stretching yourself so much now to affect your baby inside you? i always believe in "tai jiao" because it happened to my younger brother. my mum had my brother when i was only a few months old.. she told me her mood was terrible throughout the whole pregnancy because she didn't expect to get pregnant so fast. she even thought of aborting my brother but was talked out of it by my grandma. my brother was an extremely difficult child..you know we're only 1 years apart but i can remember all his terrible behaviour when he was young! i think i will go mad taking care of him.. he's really monster kid!! my mum had such a hard time bringing him up. so, for me, no matter how sad/depressed or stress i am (after quarrelling with hubby, stress from work and my part time study), i will trying to control my emotion because i want to have a good nature child..

my no.1 is quite easy to take care (i strongly believe because i tried to be happy throughout my pregnancy and minimize all the negative emotions) but of course not as good nature as i expected..recently she's been giving me headaches! haha.. but i guess it's part and parcel of growing up...just need time to discipline her..

unlike you, i didn't send her to any enrichment class..she has never been to any playgroup.. at most some gathering with oct babies.. we bought books and flash cards for her but never set a time to read/flash to her..the point is to expose to her to books/things but not to force the idea on her.. we only flash as and when she seems interested and once in a while remind her of those cards.. you'll be surprised how fast kids picks up things.. my girl can recognize more than 20 animals and can actually say those names out…animal as foreign as “yak” she also remembers! Anyway, we just let her pick up at her own speed and encourage her along the way. If she’s slow, so be it…I know of some babies who know how to fit those cubes shapes into the slots when they are under 1 but my girl only pick it up recently.. but it doesn’t bother me.. as long as she’s growing and healthy, nothing matters more!

And please do not compare yourself with other mummies, it’s be really stressful..your boy is only 2 + years, still along way to go leh.. if you continue to be like this, your health will be affected and indirectly will impact your family... you need to learn to let go sometimes ... no point being perfectionist and at the end the end product is not satisfactory because you burn out along the way.

back to me, i'm a full time working mum and also studying part time. my class starts from 7pm to 9pm almost every week day. i had to rush home everyday so that i can tuck my girl to bed and after that need to catch up with my assignment when she's asleep. weekends are burn rushing my assignments too. i will try to help out with the laundry or prepare my girl's meal but if i'm tired i just stop and or let my hubby take over...now, that i'm pregnant, i have less energy, so it's even tougher. it's good that i have a supportive hubby and in law that help out a bit with the household chore. no maid for us. i'm very slack with housework.. no choice lah..sometimes you just cannot be too straight with everything.. i think because of my easy going attitude, things are still manageable..if i were like you, i would have to crash long time ago..where got so much energy and time right? you're doing really good but sometimes, you need to take a step back and evaluate, no point stretching yourself too far..

finally. the most importantly is to pray for strength and perseverance.. God will make a way...I pray that your CSV result will be good...Have faith!

And sorry for my long post mummies!
 
pups,
not pathetic. its just cold turkey withdrawal. dont let it mess with your head lah. anyhow dont keep dwelling on it. normally pregger a bit more short-fused also. its understandable. when my colleague was pregger, she had to handover to temp and always end up raising her voice at him. but she's normally very nice one. so its just inevitable i guess.

if you think u need to smoke or drink to get over a bad day, it will just be a bad excuse to smoke or drink. i can say this only cos i quit after being a regular smoker for erm, half my life?! but cos i very damn "eng" nowadays, no stress so everyday happy poon pee pee. so i dont even think of smoking. i hope it stays that way. all my kakis say i will start when i go back to work or after i give birth. i hope i wont lah. smoke for way too long already. and its just getting stale. no longer enjoy it. and its become only a bad habit.

make a cup of hot chamomile tea and put honey. its quite therapeutic. trust me, coming from an ex-smoker. hehe...
happy.gif
 
pupsandcups: hmm, maybe you may want to try other forms of de-stressing? alternatives that may be more healthy for both you and your family.
I guess the occasional drink or two is fine if you are not preggies, but ciggies, hmm, i feel those are best avoided if possible.

Have you tired aromatherapy? It maybe able to help lift your spirits when you are feeling down.

the following oil blend is helpful for dealing with depression, either prenatally or postnatally. you can add it to a warm bath or to a room diffuser:
2 drops neroli
2 drops petitgrain
2 drops orange oil.

these oils are safe to use while you are pregnant.
alternatively, you can drop 1-2 drops of orange oil or bergamot oil onto a tissue and keep it in you bag or pocket. they smell nice and are uplifting aromas to help improve your mood.

Or you could try signing up for a pre natal yoga class to help you to relax?
Go for evening walk/stroll with you hubby and boy after dinner may be good to.

hope these suggestions will come in helpful.
remember you got to keep yourself healthy right now, both mentally and physically for your precious little cargo in your belly.
happy.gif
 
pupsandcups: hippo's suggestion of chamomile tea and honey is a good suggestion to take especially before bedtime if you have trouble getting a good night's sleep.
happy.gif
Maybe you can try that.

Lavender oil is also a good thing to try... 1-2 drops on a tissue and place next to your pillow. (Lavender oil in moderation is safe to use after the first 3 months of pregnancy.)
 
hi aria jo

thanks. ya so far, leon just goes to simple childcare and usually i am happy go lucky, but hasn't been the case since im preg.
im also v worried n try vvvv hard to b happy tis preg, but im like walking on thin glass u know. i will wake up n tell my hubby its a great sunny day lets all b happy, then small thing happen, eg, leon don wan to eat his breakfast, and my bubble will burst, and i will feel like i fooled myself into feeling cheery.
thats why i considered anti depressants n have a bottle the psychiatrist prescribed, to maintain happy mood. but i have discussed w hubby n decided don wan life time of what if about the effects.
i wanna play cool v badly, but i just lost the capacity.

happy hippo
abt smoking, i know is excuse and honestly i never been hard core addict, just like it, but can live without it. now right now in this dark tunnel, i dunno what 'tool' to employ. i wan god, n still reaching out to him.
 
shugar,
r u aromatherapist? wow... my beautician was just telling me she knows one therapist that rubs vit E on her V for a period of time up to delivery, after that no tearing with natural birth. i was like HUH??? can anyhow rub things there meh??? hehehe... found that quite amusing.
 
pupsandcups:

I'm sure God is reaching out to you through some way or the other. When you wake up in the morning, say a little prayer. Tell yourself that you're going to make it through today, not by yourself, but with God's grace.
happy.gif
 
hippo: hehe, no i'm not one but my mother is well versed in aroma oils and I picked up some tips from her. She's a strong believer in alternative treatments.
She bought me a book on aromatherapy for mother and babies which i find useful right now and think its helpful to share the info here.
happy.gif

i think what you're referring to is the perineal area? the skin between your VJ and anus.
Yup, i read about that too leh. The oil is to help increase suppleness to avoid tearing during labor. But its a very sensitive area and can only use mild oils like jojoba during the last few weeks of pregnancy. Saw mothercare selling also.
 
thank you shugar.

actually my church has a mom group, maybe i should join them huh.

ironically in my ofc, there is also a mom group and i sit on the 'committee' however it just gives me more work n i have no time for it
 
pupsandcups,
you really sound like you're in a depression..yes, please don't take the anti depressant pills. are they safe for foetus? just remind yourself it's a phase you're going through. it's a challenge that god wants you to face.. if you really need a breather (spa, manicure), go for it!

oh by the way, knowing that your appraisal is today, please prepare for not so satisfactory result so that it will not affect your mood further..my appraisal was so so only for the pass 2 years but i accepted it cos i know i had slacked and didn't put in as much effort as before.. but so be it! it's not end of the world. next year try again!
 
pupsandcups,
YES, I ENCOURGAGE YOU TO JOIN YOUR CHURCH MOM GROUP!!!! see the capital letter? that's what God must have wanted you to do! God is waiting for you there!!
happy.gif
 
hi aria jo

thanks. yes i should huh, i jus feel so no time since no maid, but mb i should just go, i suspect can bring toddler. im not that holy holy type to be honest, like i don go cell group, but i do love god and hold him close to my heart.

actually did go for several mani/spa, but dunno y still so depressed. my family has history of depression, my mom/sis all prone to depression i am also predisposed to it. i jus thot i got over it in recent years.

about appraisal, sigh, ya jus go in w open eyes, i jus hope i won cry cos really not the place to cry. my company n dept super dynamic, thats y i v stress.
 
pups: I think it's our hormones. I wake up every morning crying (just making the awful wailing sound without tears), because I have to go to work. I get giddy when I reach the office, so I think I'm sick of work. My MIL is breathing down my husband's neck on our housing issue, and he bugs me too. However, I think I'm still relatively ok.

Was depressed many years back due to r/s probs, but gradually got out of it after a long while.
I think the main thing is not to keep yourself in a rut. Decide on the things you can control.
My work is in a mess. I missed a deadline, and instead of submitting just A for checking, I've now to submit A,B,C,D,E,F for checking in two weeks time. When I first heard the news, I was beating myself up. However, I decided to see it in a different light, that my supervisor was just helping to ensure I'm on top of things and not piling things up. I could have gone on and on about how horrible my sup was and how awful my life was. My colleagues sitting near me are super dynamic too. Some of them finish their work extremely fast, and I admire their tenacity.

It's not easy looking at the positive side, but the main thing is not to let things bother you. One good trick I've learnt is to replay events that bother me in my head. Do it one time, then reverse it. Distort the images, make them black and white, monochrome, big heads, short bodies, fast forward, slow motion reverse, whatever to make it comical. Then do this a few times until the situation becomes laughable and silly, then you realise that it's not so bad after all.

So, if you get super upset with Leon not eating his food or whatever, maybe you can try this method. If you don't plan to take medication, then why not give this a try.

Another way is to surround yourself with positive people. I find that I can empathise too much with my friends' situations, till I feel terrible myself.

Just hope it's helpful.
happy.gif
 
pups: speak to a counsellor. they wun prescribe u drugs.. like a pyscharist do.. they can lend a listening ear.. and offer suggestions for you to consider.. u take the first step.. --recognising a situatin.. next step.. get it resolved.. else forever, u will be unhappy.. coz nothing gets done.. hope i dun sound harsh.. speaking from experience
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astro: u know.. i kind of miss ur posts up here. haha.. hope ur knee's fine and no internal injuries..

pups: join ur church mom group and cg.. will help a lot cos got people around to talk to. but if they are those that are not married, no children etc.. try to avoid.. cos its hard for them to understand and give u good counsel. astro's suggestion to a counsellor is good too.. cos they are professionals, though they may not have gone through what u r going through, they know how to help u approach the problem professionally.
happy.gif


lastly, dun try so hard to do something u know u cant do.. just go and find something that u know u definitely can do and get satisfaction from it.
happy.gif
for me, i crack sudoku puzzles. if u want, i suggest u do the easy ones.. super satisfying!! haha...
 
wahh!!! baby very active today wor!!! i think i need to shit ah.. must be the shit block baby's space.. hahhaa... baby telling me to quickly go pang sai..

hippo: what i feel is like muscle twitching.. if i focus, i can sense my pulse, then if baby moves, the "pulse" will go off-beat.. like double pulse.. then it could be on the left or the right.. feels like someone pressing on u lightly..
 
Hippo: I can feel something moving. How am i suppose to count fetus movement when i m unsure. When i lie down, i can see/feel the bump quite obviously.

pupsandcups: Can you try to take a kiwi or a banana daily? Take one only because of the frutose and calories. Take short walks and get a bit of sunlight.

You have to weigh the pros and cons of taking anti depressants. Instead of taking medication, why dont you try alternatives? Everyone is depress to a certain degree. So many advice here which i doubt alot of specialists can afford to do so. God is showing you ways now. Pls take this opportunity to take a step closer to healthier lifestyle for the sake of your bb.
 
http://home.howstuffworks.com/home-improvement/decorating/baby-nursery-decorating-ideas.htm

Looking for ideas on decorating the baby's nursery. Think I have zero decorating sense. That link has the most amazing nurseries' decor!! I super love the minty green one because it looks the easiest to do up the room in. The rest I can only look at them and lust over them. Impossible for me to replicate without spending lots of money and time.

jot: sometimes I feel fluttering. Haven't really had kicks yet, although when I have diarheoa pain, it's super painful.
aloe: you very funny. baby telling you to ps. I am also waiting to go home and ps. This morning wake up too late.
 
Thanks, glass for sharing the website..
happy.gif


I have also been trying to think abt deco for baby's nursery... Unfortunately, hubby said its too impractical cos baby will not sleep alone so soon.. so, he promised that bb will get his room only after 1 year old.. Tat means, he wld get his sister to move into the studyroom, so tat we can convert her room to bb's room.. Erm.. i am not sure whether a 3rd world war will break out then? Just keep fingers crossed lor..
 
loke>> you know sometimes i also have the feeling that baby is pressing me to go move my bowels or sometimes i suddenly have the urge to urine, but end up is not a lot of urine that kind.. i guess is our baby pressing onto our bladder or the intestines.. wahaha..
 
hey my test results are in, i am having a HEALTHY BABY BOY! that makes a mommy of 2 boys
happy.gif

I am SOOOOO relieved, the CVS results showed normal
 
ww,
hope u r ok after the fall. nothing serious i hope.

kkbt, ww,
if muscle twitching is bb movement. then this one inside is a princess MONKEY!!! non-stop movements one!!!! i went brisk walking and i felt like she was walking inside as well. when i'm swimming she also like swimming inside.

shugar,
i like how u say VJ. ahhaha... oprah calls it the "va-jay-jay" i thot that was quite funny. anyhow rubbing stuff on the perineal sounds a bit gross to me lah. so i'd rather let gynae cut if necessary.
 
thank you all.

wa my mood so extreme from low to high. now too happy n relieved to work, and got this who cares about my appraisal at 4pm, just wan go to my hubby's arms n celebrate!
 
pups,
see? good outcome right? congrats. now dont go and panick over how to handle 2 boys k! go and celebrate or something. there was once i was feeling a bit down, and i felt like some happy food. went and bot a mac sundae. after that ok already lor.

anyhow, u just gotta take it a bit easy on yourself. being a control freak and striving to be perfectionist in every single task is recipe for disaster. imagine what it'll do to your bb. u dun him to be like that right?!
 
kkbt,
yups. i think my gynae wanna peng san everytime he sees me. he must be thinking "jialat, the monkey come again already. how to MEASURE?!?!?!?!" bwahahhahahaha... he's always muttering "hmm, this baby always move around a lot." hahahaha... and of course i think, if its so easy, then why i pay you so much right?!
happy.gif


pups,
can one family go and celebrate tonight already! eat sweets. go on sugar high. hahahaha...
 
PRE-NATAL YOGA GROUP (sotong, ww, xoxo)
just spoke with colleen. unfortunately, there's only Wed & Fri mornings. and she said Wed classes have even more people. so unless we want to change to an afternoon class, if not best to stick with friday.

i think since we already did 2, and only 2 left, i'm happy to just continue with fridays. i did tell her she should get the group to space out properly tho. so hopefully it can be better.

if we are going to continue after the 4 lessons, maybe lets get her to get commit a slot for us. but i think cos there's only 4 of us, she may not be willing to do so. anyhow, we can discuss after friday's class? cya friday!
 
yeah..
how come i no need to go for this amnio test? i only need to do this "Fetal Anomaly" TEst. i think its a detailed scan...
 
Re: Quinny
See reply from mellyann below:-

Hi, sorry for this late reply. I have just deliver my baby boy and the retailer haven't yet give me full information on details. But for sure the pricing is $980 each. if i order more than 5. It include the buzz box, rain cover,car seat adapter and some more items but i couldn't remember for now. I'm still in the hospital so trying to reply fast. Ypu can get a matching car seat together along. but still haven't confirm the price. if u agree on the price then i will mail u again once i receive the whole information. Do tell me if u are interested or not. Thanks
happy.gif

btw, there are buzz4 also if anyone interested.


DO TAKE NOTE THAT THIS IS FOR 2009 MODELS. EVERY YEAR THE MODEL IS DIFFERENT AND THEREFORE SOMETIMES OTHER RETAILER SELL QUINNY AT $700+ - $900+ AND CALLED A PROMOTION BECAUSE THEY ARE CLEARING OLD STOCK. I KNOW THE 2007 MODEL DOESN'T CLOSE AUTO BUT HAVE THIS STRAP TO CLOSE IT TIGHTLY. FOR DIFFERENCE IN 2008 MODELS AND 2009 MODELS IS THE HANDLE BAR. THE SCREWS ARE INSIDE THAN OUTSIDE (I HOPE YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN CAUSE I COULDN'T EXPLAIN MUCH FURTHER ONLY TILL THAT CAUSE VERY DIFFICULT TO EXPLAIN) BUT THE REASON FOR SCREWS NOT BEING INSIDE INSTEAD BECAUSE PPL TEND TO COMPLAINT ABOUT HAVING THEIR SKIN ACCIDENTLY STUCK SOMETIMES. SO DO TAKE NOTE
happy.gif


p.s I'M A QUINNY LOVER THATS Y I DO SO MUCH RESEARCH AND KNOW ALOT. HAHA.
 
mummies who wants to know the baby kickin feeling:
just to share my experience since this is my 2nd pregnancy :p, the feeling is like fluttering in your stomach. Sometimes if you lie still on bed and if you're lucky, you can see your baby move but it's so fast you think it's your imagination..haha..i saw this when i was abt 4 months pregnant with my 1st girl
happy.gif
our baby at this age 4 mths plus is not strong enough to give you a power kick (as in painful sharp pain) but a gentle knock but strong enough to surprise you
happy.gif
i'm now experiencing this occasionally when i bend down to pick something. i think she must be annoyed for squeezing her..haha.. the feeling is a a strong twitch/knock? it's not painful... very cute feeling in fact.. when you gets bigger, this feeling will get stronger and stronger and soon you can see you tummy move like wave or lopsided! very funny sight
happy.gif


pupsandups,
congrats! how cute is that? 2 boys with a good age gap! i'm most likely expecting another girl
happy.gif
so, my girls are 2 years apart and i hope they will grow to be very close
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