ok...something for laughs
from email...here goes...
Lawyers should never ask a witness a question if they aren't prepared for the answer :
In a trial, a Southern small town prosecuting attorney called his
first witness, a grand-motherly, elderly woman to the stand.
He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"
She responded, "Why, yes
I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a young boy, and
frankly,
you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife,
you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs.
You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you never
will
amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher.
Yes, I know you." The lawyer was stunned! Not knowing what else to
do,
he pointed across the room and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know the
defense attorney?" She again replied, "Why yes, I do. I've known Mr.
Bradley
since he was a youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a
drinking problem.
He can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice
is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife
with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes,
I know him." The defense attorney almost died.
The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench, and in a very
quiet voice, said, "If either of you bastards asks her if she knows
me, I'll throw you in jail for contempt."