(2009/02) February 2009 MTBs

Father in law said the following to me for the past weeks:

1) Cannot cut baby's hair cos the skull is still soft.

However, few weeks later, he dreamt that my bb has botak head. So ask me to bring bb for a hair cut. After the hair cut, he was a bit 'bu shuan' asked me why didn't shaved all the hair? &^%$#!@

2) Cannot have the fan faced directly at bb cos wind will enter the body.

I saw him fanning my bb using the newspaper. ^#%@&!*$

3) Cannot let baby have tummy time

He kept telling me that bb loves to be on the tummy! &&*#^@&%#@

4) Cannot let baby be on the tummy lest bb knows how to crawl. He commented the later the bb learn how to crawl, the better. (Ignorant man!!!!)

5) Cannot bring baby out cos viruses are everywhere!

This is the last straw! Bb was down with viral infection and he accused me of bringing bb out!! I didn't bring bb out except to his house. and his house is full of relatives visiting my grand mother in law.

This is driving me crazy!! I love my mother in law.. but my father in law, who is not the care giver, is driving me crazy!!! Kept playing with bb and don't allow him to sleep. Almost every other night I have to bring home a over-simulated bb!

I was suggesting to hubby that we file a divorce, just cohabitation will do.

All mothers... if you were me, what will you do??? Am I over-reacting? I felt so angry that I can't even do what I want with MY baby. He thought he fathered the baby?
 


check with mummies here. does ur baby make any bone cracking sound when they move their arms / legs? or when you carry the baby?
i have no idea why my gal will make some bone cracking sound when she kick her leg / move her arms. the sound is like adult cracking their fingers.
 
Seeing that all mothers only recently started sending the bb to the caregiver's place. I felt so stupid to actually believed that ignorant father in law. He told me that bb will recognised caregiver, wanted me to hand over the bb after the confinement lady left. Stupid me.. really followed what he said... I hate him!!
 
the_simz,

i understand ur feelings. sometimes i m also fustrated with my IL actions. Really felt very angry at them,can only tell my husband and he will go and tell his parent on the issues.

sometimes really helpless, my MIL told my husband that she is "DISAPPOINTED" with us on baby issues. eversince baby is out, we have lots of conflicts with them. my hubby is very upset over the conflicts, esp. when my MIL say "DISAPPOINTED". so now no choice, whether comment they make, we will just say "OK", and ignore abt it. that's the best we can do to aviod further unhappiness.
 
the simz: me FIL also the same.
my MIL tries to help take care of bb for the afternoons so that at least bb not in the infantcare full day.
my FIL keep making comments that makes my MIL feels bad.
like bb cry cos want to sleep, then he will say bb wants mummy/daddy, doesnt want ah ma. or bb recognise the house and doesnt want to stay in my PIL house, etc. makes my MIL so sad and lost like that.
we told him that it is bb cracky cos want to sleep or too hot. bb proves that we are right, i.e. get to sleep after that or not cranky after we on the fans. but he keeps repeating everyday and insisting he is correct.
sad.gif


my hubby ran out of patience once that he told his dad, he doesnt want to llisten to him anymore. and yet FIL still repeats. haha.
 
simz
just ignore him lah.. the elders always think they know more than us... my mum also like tat, but i always prove her wrong.. so now she listens to what i say. tat time baby cough abit, she says cos i drink cold water.. then i have to explain to her that baby cough once in a while is normal.. cos they are clearing their throat. Then when baby only poos after 9 days, she says cos i never drink water.. have to explain again cos baby not having constipation, just absorb the bf well..
alot of other incident loh.. i got to teach her. basically she never took care of anyone of my siblings n i when we were younger, so actually she doesnt know much about child care.

as for baby recognising caregiver, i think its true. cos my baby recognise me now. when he sees me, he will cry to ask me to carry him, see my hubby he just kept quiet.
 
sy:
oreidi emailed u e contact... eh, not too sure abt e difference leh... maybe u can check out amazon?

okie, so nepia is not tat cheap either... wanted to use it for day, then better not... anyway, have oreidi stocked up on pampers active bb... will juz stick to tat for nite bah...

can can, u let me noe again if u need e milkbags then... thanks!
 
the simz and grace chua,

haiz...sometimes i also cannot understand why the elders are like that..some have the weirdest thinking..put aside in laws, my own father is also like that..like my dad wants to interfere with my way of bringing up my child..kept asking me to stop breastfeeding and give formula; kept asking me to leave my baby with my in laws and visit her every evening and bring home over weekend..kept asking me to give her water..ask me to buy promegranate plant n if baby cries at night n refuses to sleep, pluck 1 leave, place in water n clean bb's face...n the list go on...during the first 2mths, he will call every other day to ask have u given FM, have u given water..until the time i had a fight with him over being modern vs. traditional in child caring when i visted spore, that he stopped calling me now n stopped interfering. during the argument he commented that im using modern ways to care for the child n not following traditional ways n he says sometimes when it comes to child caring, traditional way is still the best..so i just say u want traditional, breastfeeding is the most traditional way..what do babies drink before FM n milk bottles are invented??? why keep asking me to give FM when i can breastfeed successfully??? so angry

the simz, dont need to file for divorce la..to drastic n might not even solve the problem..n it comes with more problemss..
 
parents/in-laws
eh, e disappointed thing is so familiar! my mum said tat abt my hubby after he blew up 1 day cos everyone was stressing me out... he has never lost his temper wif my parents before, so my mum was shocked... not tat my hubby was rite, but everyone has temper... so i told my mum, gd tat u saw tat in him now... he's not perfect, so it's only a matter of time when we openly display our feelings... being family is all abt being real, isn't it? if we can't even be truthful abt wat we think, then it's really quite sad... of cos, i guess i probably have to put my pts across in a diplomatic way... which i'm still learning...

anyway, i try not to let myself be "coerced" into behaving certain way by "emotional blackmail"... tis is my bb, i decide how she is brought up... as our parents, u had ur chance @ parenting us... hence, it's our turn now to parent our bb - our way... even if it means falling out wif our parents, our stand is so be it... of cos, we hope they wun stay angry for long lah... anyway, i think they'll come around... why risk losing not juz e grandchild, but e children as well?

anyway, e above is juz my personal opinion hor... dun shoot me for it...
 
Hi Peachmomo,

Can i check with you Maclaren XLR does it come with baby carrier & bag? i saw on the web but not too sure... i let baby try on XLR really look comfy.. does the material hot? the promoter said material a bit hot.. i also not too sure.. May i know how much you bought? We saw it quite ex.. so scared if invest baby don want to sit then waste $.
 
olivia:
i think Capella is reasonably cheap and quality is good. Esp the latest models.
Combi is nice too but i find that their seat space is rather narrow and small. My bb is fatty and i also want sth that can last him to at least 2yrs old.
 
hi the simz,

Dont be upset with your FIL, i think for the sake of our babies, have to REN lor, because eventually its always better to put with grandparents than to put baby with outsiders... me also same case, but i just try to bear with it lor... there was once my mil called me when i was at work to tell me she wanted to show me how to feed my baby as baby always play with me whenever i feed him. She says i dont know how to feed him thats why he is like that.. I was so damn pissed off that I refused to go home after that, loittered outside until eventually the miss baby syndrome became too overwhelming so had no choice but to go home haha...
anyway, i did checked with PD subsequently and i was the caregiver for 3.5 months during my maternity leave lor, if i dont know how to feed him, he would be super skinny now! PD says baby knows to bully ppl one, so end up her comments are just crap!
Dont need to go to the extent of divorce la, i think u can try to talk to your hubby, get him to tell your FIL off in a nice way la of course, because whenever my mil wants to get near to baby when i am home, my hubby will tell her off too, so it kind of help, so you may want to consider asking your hubby to speak on your behalf?

Re baby having cold:
My boy had his first flu at 1+ months! it took him 13 days to recover, PD says usually take around 10-14 days for recovery...

*wave* to ppl staying ard aspella!
its my weekend house too haha, now i know why Enfalac in NTUC always out of stock very fast, because many babies there keke
 
btw mummies, regarding strollers, is there any big and comfy strollers (affordable pricing one) with babies facing us one? i bgt the combi miracle turn (orig price 629), end up my boy seems too tall for the stroller now, so sad... thinking to sell this stroller and get a new one... saw one before i think is pikko p3 that can push with baby facing us but cost 998!

For car seat, i also swear by the Britax Royale (very comfy!). the other brand for Britax is Safe and Sound, they are the same actually. In fact if you buy the Britax one, there is no car cushion protector, but if you buy the Safe and Sound one, there is a car cushion protector... same price and same material, feels the same to me la, except the tag is not the same...
 
Re recognising caregiver

I think its true that babies will recognise caregiver.. when i take care of baby for the first 3.5 months myself, baby need me to carry him then he can drift to sleep... after i went back to work, now he prefers my hubby liao, to an extent whereby when he cries and i carry him, he continues to cry loudly, the moment my hubby carries him, he quietened, i feel so sad and jealous sob sob.... because hubby working hours is more flexible so he get to see baby more than i do, i really feel so upset abt it, i only want my bb to stick to me ONLY, so sad so sad sigh
 
BBPower:

I had tears in my eyes when I read your post about missing your baby. A mother's heart is so preciously tied to her little one, huh... I hope you'll feel better soon...

I'm also concerned that my son won't recognize me - I have to travel to the US on work assignment for a week mid-June and he'll be with daddy and my mom. With the swine flu, I'm planning to self-quarantine at a friend's place for few days after I return. This adds up to 10 days of not seeing my son - I'm not looking forward to it... sob, sob... I've never been without my son for more than 12 hours!
 
Olively:

Yeah, I tried to latch Craig on two evenings ago but he wasn't too interested... so sad. And furthermore, my nipple started to crack and they hurt so bad. So, I think my plan to relactate is failing...
sad.gif
Besides, I read that it's more difficult to relactate after the third month. Que sera sera

My son's cold is better today. Less cough and less sneezing but still has phlegm. Will try the physio massage. If not, my friend recommended a Chinese medical physio place where they would help even babies expel phlegm through gentle massage.
 
I'Ching,

glad that little Craig is getting better.hurts to see our little ones falling ill..im also a SAHM but also studying :p joannelim is also SAHM.
 
hi breezie,

if yr girl on bm and is ok with 120ml then shld nt be a prob.what is her general interval for drinking milk?? unless she wants more after she finish the 120 then it will be time to increase another 20ml to try.

If formula then check base on the milk container ba
 
expo
i think tml me and princessdella might go.

happy
i think hor dont be jealous.. cos for my case, my son actually prefers me. But he cries when he sees me is because he wants me to carry him. when he sees my hubby he will be quiet cos not interested to be carried by him hahaha... hope this might make u feel better.


stroller
yea i prefer capella too. if my current one breaks down, i will invest in one capella i think .

breezie
it all depends on how regularly u are feeding that 120ml leh.. 4 months should be 800ml n more PER DAY.
 
Sandy,
hehe...your dad quite persistent hor? ;p
I m juz v curious wat was his response when u challenged him on the BF topic? or he juz kept quiet?

I'ching,
Tks, I am much better today. It will tk a while to get used to the seperation. I hv not been away fr my son for more than 3 hrs!!! That was when I went to hair salon aft confinement.
So envious tt u can b a SAHM! Enjoy!!

Kwoli,
NTUC infantcare at 269D? I can't find leh.
 
Lili, my girl is on BM and FM. drinking every 3 hrs. she's satisfied after 120ml but becos she has been drinking 120 ml since 2 mths old, so wondering if i should increase the amt. but she can't really finish 140ml, so i still continue with 120ml.
 
the simz,
Not sure wat to say as I hv not encountered such situation b4. Maybe juz 1 ear in n 1 ear out for all those comments which do not make sense?

hi happy, u live in aspella too?
 
boo hoo~~ my Caleb boy down with fever after yday's jabs.
He also "fluctuate" between 120ml to 150ml feeds. Wnat to increase, but sometimes he can even finish his current feed. I think as long as there's constant weight gain, shld be alright.
 
hi mommies,

who has difficulties letting baby drink from the bottle?? i recently started introducing milk bottle to my baby..i was using NUK premium size 1 teat and my baby would or could only drink 20ml each time..she usually have problems "latching" on to the teat and milk will flow out of her mouth..if she does suck,no milk will come out after awhile as the teat became flat and she doesnt know how to release....i just went to buy the Breastflow milk bottle by the first years and it works wonders..my baby just latch on and finished 60ml of EBM within 10 mins...oh but i didnt carry to feed her cos when i carry her, she wants my breast so i let her lie in between the boppy pillow and prop her up with her small pillow..then hb gave her the bottle and i stay beside her..mommies, maybe u can give this bottle a try
happy.gif
cost less than 10bucks
 
BBpower,

yes, he kept quiet and just say its up to you to believe what i say.i wont harm u and my grand daughter then walk out of the room..and mind you, this took place during my sister's wedding in the afternoon, just after the tea ceremony lor..and all the guests were outside and he just came into the room to supposedly talk nicely to me but ended up arguing..it all started because naomi was being carried around by the relatives and she got overwhelmed, so cried..he saw baby crying then say, go and get the promegranate leave to clean her face...he got unhappy when i disagreed with that rationale of using the leave..then the topic about modern vs. traditional, scientific vs. non scientific started..haiz...but i didnt get the leave and once all the relatives left , naomi stopped crying...its just the crowd and all the humans handling the baby ...so angry
 
snow, if scared then dont take the pills... better get a new bottle...

My baby is also inconsistent, drinks ranging from 120 to 150ml...

Mummies, when are u all intending to feed cereals? I'm thinking wait till 6month.
 
the simz: dun anyh say divorce.. dun get so angry! remb u are not alone!: ) seems lik most of us here has this prob of conflict wif caregiver(be it inlaws or own parents)
i think we really dun hav a choice but 2 open 1 eye close 1 eye. mayb smtims we can think thy are helpin us to tak care of baby, we remb to appreciate n tahan? tts hw i cope smtimes..

i do agree tt elders alwys think they knw alot n well.but actly evry baby is difnt, so nt evryth applies to al babies
 
re: empty milk
Sorry for the slow reaction...But but......i think if too hot water kills all nutrients....then i have been giving baby EMPTY MILK......booboo..i am so sad. and now no more.....

re: Weaning
How to start?
I believe we start with cereal first.
Can it be brown rice cereal?
Also after the very first trial, do i have to stop for a week to see if he is allergic..
It's unbelievable that we are touching on this topic liao.

any mummies planning to start soon too?
 
Thanks mummies for the encouragement!

Haiz.. all of us having prob cos all parents are the same???!!! Wonder when will all this stop? Does having a 2nd one helps?
 
yes yes...The Simz...it helps cos divert attention..hahaa..
like at my side of family, there are a 5 year-old, two 1.5 year old and my sister preggy again. so if my baby goes there, he is just one of the kid.

but at my hb's side of family, he is the first and only grandson, so he is majiam KING.
 
Haha... olively.. skali I will have 2 probs instead of the current one! Anyway.. really thankful for such a existent of this forum! A place for tears and laughter! =)
 
Re: Most Voted For stroller and carseat..

I am going to annouce the result...(drumroll....)
For Carseat: Britax Royale / Safe n sound wins hands-down.

For Stroller: there are a mixture of votes but the one that stands out is : Capella!

Congratulations to all winners.
Question: where can i buy the carseat and stroller??
 
the simz: haha i was thinkg in future wen we hav ur grandchild wil we end up lik our elders too?keke think its possible in sm ways!hehe then our children mayb also lik nw complaining abt us : P oops! we mus remb wat we complain n dun end up same

olively: u so funny hah.
me think stroller go kiddy palace wil do loh, no point go arnd searchin ,capella price quite standard wen promo

- btw can giv brown rice cereal de.. tts wat my mil mention b4 , to giv baby this in future
 
olively
kiddy palace got promotion for capella but depends on which model u are getting.


iceblue
can start brown rice so early? i was told only to give brown rice after 7th month.. dont know which is true now. cos brown rice more heaty n hard to digest.

anyhow i will still stick to my avocado n rice cereal
 
olively
when u first feed the baby, u dont have to stop unless u see rashes around his mouth.. tat is first sign of allergy. if u see rashes appearing, stop for a week, give something else , then go back to the same food again n see if rashes re appear.
 
Re: recognising caretaker.
Sadz but it's true.
Like Happy, me also same problem. now he is closest to the maid.
Somemore i have a family wedding dinner to attend next week, so if he does not behave...haiz then lose face liao. (all those gossipy relatives)

Anyway i was hoping that i can bring baby home during weekdays after IL and maid successfully trained him to sleep thru the night...but seems like no progress after several weeks. (but weridly he did it with me during the weekends lay)

Aiya, so time waits for no man lah...i have decided to bring him home during every wednesdays.
I am not going to die w/o fighting. must let him know who's the mummy...!!! (i will show him my c-sec scar)
 
Joannelim ..thanks for the tip on weaning.

OH and thank u mummies, kiddy palace here i come....
wonder if the expo would have some good sale or not.
I am going to Expo this sunday but it for the barney and etc characters show.
So if got chance will pop into the exhibition.
But i super scare of crowd one lay....cos sure a lot of pple....scary!
 
BB power
Guess i will behave like u...cry when i put bb in infantcare for trial next week. Cos upon enrolment, my heart aches so much...dread to think of next week!

Hi Mummies,
Been to the Expo today... lotsa good deals! Not extremely crowded...was there 5-9pm! Got Avent bottles, Huggies Ultra and sign up with Sean Lau Photography!
 
Hi Joanne,

No leh, he cry because I think he dont feel secure with me carrying him sob sob
sad.gif
Maybe because I am always the bad guy who pass him to others to carry and end up he cry till super loud because he got stranger anxiety leh
sad.gif
I am working hard on him now, hope he sticks to me again sob sob

Hi Breezie,

I think there will be a stage where babies start to dislike milk because sick of it liao, my boy coming to 5months liao, his intake only 600+ml per day lor, last time was 900+ml per day leh...

Hi BBpower,

Yes I stay in Aspella, blk 275B
happy.gif


Hi Catmomo,

I think the trick is to give paracetamol even before he develop fever, i.e. str after the jab, thats what i do as i kiasu
happy.gif


Hi Olivey,

Its really very sad de, when baby dont want us, SIGH, must make them realised who is the one who went thru that terrible 10 months for them lor... actually i read from babycenter before that in order to make bb sleep thru the night, mummies have to hug them and tap them when they cry in the middle of the night, cuz they recognise mummy smell and will feel secure so need not wake up for milk, thats what i did for my boy, after 3 days of training, at ard 2months old, he already sleep thru the night liao, so u can try it out
happy.gif


Btw, any mummies been to the fair can update here what are the discounts? wahahahha Also wanna check any mummies bgt the pampers active during NTUC promo? I bgt it then realised some packs have indicator, some packs dont have, dunno is it defective leh!!! aiyo...
 
Btw, for the Britax car seat can get from Robinsons, their sales starts tomorrow!

But I dont think they carry Safe and Sound, mine is safe and sound from Baby Kingdom, but no discount lor, but hubby wants to buy from them as they will install for us, so he thinks its safer...

But i think the diff is the car cushion protector that comes with safe and sound one...
 


Sandy,

I am using NUK premium bottles, I think the teat become flat is because its too small for Naomi... are you using S or M? Latex right? I am giving my boy teat no 1 M size... he is doing fine with it...
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

A
Here is Practical Explanation about Next Life, Purpose of Human Life, philosophical/religious facts, theories etc.
Replies
0
Views
241
akincanesu
A
P
Recommended Confinement Nanny - Amy Ling
Replies
0
Views
155
pseudonymous
P
A
Polygenic testing for IVF embryo selection in Singapore: Proceed with caution
Replies
0
Views
673
Angelica Cheng
A
B
Egg Donor Programme experience in Malaysia
Replies
12
Views
5K
Angelica Cheng
A
A
What IVF patients should know about importing frozen donor eggs into Singapore
Replies
1
Views
4K
Angelica Cheng
A

Back
Top