man_tou_bear
New Member
DAMMIT! I wrote a super long post then it hanged!
Ok I m gonna say something here which is completely pointless now but you can keep this in mind when u have another baby. Slp training shdnt start now. It shd have started from Day 1. Honestly (Im being frank here) when our babies were younger, we just want them to slp some way or another. So we let them fall aslp on the bottle, on the breasts, with pacifier. Then all of a sudden when they are older (and u are sick and tired of soothing ur kid) u want them to be able to self soothe overnight. Thats just not possible without any heartache! I have always been firm that the less crutches Z has to depend on to fall aslp, the better for him. Hence I dont give him a pacifier, no bottle (though I fail sometimes), no breasts and no sarong. Esp for pacifier, cos in the end you would have to wean ur baby off it again and it means more heartache.
Anyhow, enough preaching. Yoyosan, ur kid has been so used to the previous slping routine and u have just tried CIO for one day. What was ur previous routine like? Dont change it drastically, i.e. she was gg to bed at 10pm and now u want her to slp at 8pm. If she is used to be pat to slp then u shd continue to pat her until she is drowsy but still awake before leaving her. Dont dump her in the cot and expects her to self soothe. It is just not possible. If u really want to continue with CIO, then when she vomits, u have to go in, change everything with no talking and minimal eye contact, then repeat the whole CIO cycle again.
I have to state here that CIO doesnt hurt the baby. Pls dont mix this up with the thought that u are not providing warmth, love and security for ur baby. In the day, I would nv let Z cry without comforting him. But at night he cries not for my love or comfort, but becos he needs me to slp. However, if ur gal is suffering from separation anxiety like what Z is gg through now, then yes, it will hurt her if u let her CIO. Thats why I modify my CIO now to incld a lovie and also to speak soft words (previously no talking at all) to tell him I will see him bright and early the next morning. How to differentiate the difference btw normal I-need-you-to-slp cry and separation anxiety? If you go to ur gal and she quiets down immed then she has separation anxiety cos ur mere presence is enough for her to slp on her own. However if she continues to cry that means she wants to be picked up and needs u (like an apparatus) to slp. Z has separation anxiety cos he stops immed when we are by his side and he can knock off in mere seconds. I dont need to do anything cos he already knows how to self soothe.
Lastly like what the Oct mummy pointed out, there are many other different methods to train ur kid to slp on her own. I myself bought like 2-3 books on this area just to read and see if I like the method. Do a search online and see what you are comfortable with. I personally tried pick up and put down, and also co-slping. CIO works the best for me cos I still pump in the middle, juggle both work and study and I m simply too drained to do anything that takes longer than 4-7 days. Ppl always think CIO is easy cos it is a relatively shorter training period than other methods, but they forget that it feels like an eternity for us parents when we have to endure listening to our kids cry. I still struggle with this and almost gave in and co-slp with Z last wk.
On a separate note, I do find that Asian parents are not as receptive to letting their kids slp in another room and trying out CIO compared to Caucasians. This is just a generalization. Sometimes I feel we over coddle our kids too much. I m not saying anybody in particular here hor, so dont feel often, but it is ok to let ur kids cry.
they don't die of crying. hehe..
Ok I m gonna say something here which is completely pointless now but you can keep this in mind when u have another baby. Slp training shdnt start now. It shd have started from Day 1. Honestly (Im being frank here) when our babies were younger, we just want them to slp some way or another. So we let them fall aslp on the bottle, on the breasts, with pacifier. Then all of a sudden when they are older (and u are sick and tired of soothing ur kid) u want them to be able to self soothe overnight. Thats just not possible without any heartache! I have always been firm that the less crutches Z has to depend on to fall aslp, the better for him. Hence I dont give him a pacifier, no bottle (though I fail sometimes), no breasts and no sarong. Esp for pacifier, cos in the end you would have to wean ur baby off it again and it means more heartache.
Anyhow, enough preaching. Yoyosan, ur kid has been so used to the previous slping routine and u have just tried CIO for one day. What was ur previous routine like? Dont change it drastically, i.e. she was gg to bed at 10pm and now u want her to slp at 8pm. If she is used to be pat to slp then u shd continue to pat her until she is drowsy but still awake before leaving her. Dont dump her in the cot and expects her to self soothe. It is just not possible. If u really want to continue with CIO, then when she vomits, u have to go in, change everything with no talking and minimal eye contact, then repeat the whole CIO cycle again.
I have to state here that CIO doesnt hurt the baby. Pls dont mix this up with the thought that u are not providing warmth, love and security for ur baby. In the day, I would nv let Z cry without comforting him. But at night he cries not for my love or comfort, but becos he needs me to slp. However, if ur gal is suffering from separation anxiety like what Z is gg through now, then yes, it will hurt her if u let her CIO. Thats why I modify my CIO now to incld a lovie and also to speak soft words (previously no talking at all) to tell him I will see him bright and early the next morning. How to differentiate the difference btw normal I-need-you-to-slp cry and separation anxiety? If you go to ur gal and she quiets down immed then she has separation anxiety cos ur mere presence is enough for her to slp on her own. However if she continues to cry that means she wants to be picked up and needs u (like an apparatus) to slp. Z has separation anxiety cos he stops immed when we are by his side and he can knock off in mere seconds. I dont need to do anything cos he already knows how to self soothe.
Lastly like what the Oct mummy pointed out, there are many other different methods to train ur kid to slp on her own. I myself bought like 2-3 books on this area just to read and see if I like the method. Do a search online and see what you are comfortable with. I personally tried pick up and put down, and also co-slping. CIO works the best for me cos I still pump in the middle, juggle both work and study and I m simply too drained to do anything that takes longer than 4-7 days. Ppl always think CIO is easy cos it is a relatively shorter training period than other methods, but they forget that it feels like an eternity for us parents when we have to endure listening to our kids cry. I still struggle with this and almost gave in and co-slp with Z last wk.
On a separate note, I do find that Asian parents are not as receptive to letting their kids slp in another room and trying out CIO compared to Caucasians. This is just a generalization. Sometimes I feel we over coddle our kids too much. I m not saying anybody in particular here hor, so dont feel often, but it is ok to let ur kids cry.
Personally find it not bad...think my boy likes the ball and drum part, but not sure if shld sign up though. But feel that the baby don't get to move ard enough haha..in that aspect gymboree is more fun coz got all the slides and stuff to explore.
