(2008/09) Sep 2008


welcome, fave! we have the same edd! where will you be delivering?

kids giving money
the trend these days seems to be parents keeping up with their adult (working or non-working) children's allowance. i was rather taken aback when an ex-colleague talked about her 26-yr-old son who's kind of in limbo now, waiting to register for some sort of course mid next year, but refusing to take up any part-time job at the moment. he spends his time playing online games at home and spends rather freely with the supp card she's given him. i think she's spoilt him. she even took leave just to take care of him when he contracted chicken pox a while back. i went to the doc by myself and took care of myself during my 3wks mc when i got it at 16 and all my mom did was to check that i was still alive when she came home every day!
 
mickey: which size do you recommend for the playmats? I saw the 2.3m ones and they're so big! Will have problems storing them till the time baby needs them.
 
Big Toes: my ex-classmate's mom did just that. Collected all the primary-sec-JC-uni school fees receipts to demand for a repayment when my fren's graduated! Poor gal...

I think it's hard to seek a repayment from your kids...Luckily my parents didn't hang a pig's head at my door to chase me for all the school fees, travel and shopping expenses, car expenses, enrichment course fees, etc. etc.
 
flos, dh and i find nurse chong v funny too. dh keeps giggling during class one lor! last night, i had to tell him to shut up or i won't bring him next week already!
 
ya I agree with u man xuanting,
I like the western thinking, when we decide to haev kids, we have the full responsibilities whether they give us money at the end of the day it is a bonus.
but the most basic thing is support them to uni thats all!
if they want extra classes or want to limbo at home waste time, thats their problem.

I dun like the chinese way of having to give $$$ to parents back. I been told from young must give how much must give how much
so irritating
not as if i am chosen to be born to this world by my own free will
laugh :p
Evil thoughts :p
 
Hi all, I've been following this thread for a while..

My EDD is 28 Sept, and I'm expecting a baby boy. Will be delivering at East Shore.

Lovebug, how much did you pay for the Avent steriliser? Did you buy the bottle/food warmer as well?
 
So wat do u mummies think ? Which policy to buy first ? Medical or life or education/savings policy ? It seems that different pple have diff opinions.
BTW, some commented tat it's cheap to buy young for life policy, but i realised that u actually pay abt the same amt of premium even at the age of 19 or 20 leh...
Thus , i was thinking if education/savings policy is more critical.
 
hi xuanting: i deliver at East Shore, following my doc, and my baby is a gal.

seems like most of u have alreadi bought most of baby stuff, i have not started yet, hope i can get some stuff in bangkok, going there month end.
 
crayonshinchan: no worries, I'm not offended lah. hee, but it's really a chore to me to have them so big sometimes. I tried wearing the night nursing bra which I got from Perfect Mum but I dun feel comfortable, and can't sleep. So I'm back to braless, cos rest is most important to me now. Will wear them when I'm leaking milk after delivery. ;)
 
Shazz: The mats come folded up. Won't take up a lot of space. I got a 2.3 x 1.9 one.. It's still slightly smaller than 8 Haenim playyards.. These 2 items are very, very useful..
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We've removed the gates, the mat has become the place where my girl plays on her own.
 
crayon,
agree with shazz, lovebug and xuanting that we shouldnt think our kids should repay us when they grow up. I also dun like the traditional thinking of family folks who expect kids to give them allowance each mth and when the kids do give, they think it is only rightful. My hubby does joke we should keep our receipts for all the stuff we have been shopping for Junior!!
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Dont think in our era, we would want our kids to payback..different set of thinking.
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Pedicure,
Would go for open-spaced pedicure parlour eg. West Mall, Vivo. Dont really like enclosed shops cos dont want to inhale too much of those nail laquer and i usually go during off-peak so there are lesser customers.
 
Hi Fave, we are delivering at the same hospital! Who is your gynae? Maybe we have the same gynae too! Did you book your bed at ESH yet? I've booked mine (chose 2 bedded) last week.

Insurance - I guess it all depends on what's the main purpose of purchasing. I think I'll opt for education/savings policy as it covers death or critical illness as well (touch wood). Unless you want to pay for your child the full term up to 65 years, I dont see why we should get life policy for the child..?!?
 
rachel: I bought the avent steriliser at $130ish i think after the 20% discount from $170ish
I did not buy the IQ version not worth that is like 200 bucks????

wait until 20% discount then worth to buy try OG?
I bought from there
oh try Kiddy Palace they having 20% discount now for card members and 15% for non card members
 
hi rachel, my doc is KM Heng, Roger. I have not book my bed yet cos most likely going for c-section and now consulting fengshui for date. did u join any antenatal class?
 
Millie,

U will get many opinions on insurance. So go with the one whose risk appetite / lifestyle is similar to yours.

In our view, more critical at this stage is medical and education. We bought medical (Shield plan + coverage of deductible/co-insurance), endowment for J#1 to cover his local uni education. At the same time, we bought Investment link insurance for him. Our intention is to hand it over to him when he turns 21 (compounding power of investment over 21 yrs can be significant). What he choose to do with it thereafter (to save for retirement, life coverage etc) is entirely up to him.
 
Mickey: thanks for your input! I need to measure the space I have in mind to put the mat in my living room. 2.3 x 1.9m may be a little bigger then the space I've got. But since it's still slightly smaller than the 8 Haenim playyards, I think I have to find somewhere else for the play area. Thanks!

Mei: are you gonna get the mats now or later? hmmn, think my hubby will say no to getting it now.

On insurance: being a practitioner myself, I think Medical is the most important, followed by coverage on parents life, or whoever is contributing more to raising the child, then if your resources allows you to, start an education programme, be it investment linked or traditional savings plan, and whole life plan for child. Some affluent clients of mine, have resources to do inheritance and retirement planning for their child. Like Lok said, it depends on your needs, priorities and resources.
 
there's this chinese saying yang3 e2 fang2 lao3 and my mom and all her siblings definitely subscribe to it. i personally hate it cos it's like my mom had me for the sake of her old age security and companionship. she's been telling me that i shouldn't sayang my kids too much next time, cos kids these days just do as they wish, uproot and decide to work in some far far place and never come home, so it's like so lugi wasting so much money and affection on them. i always get up and go to the loo whenever she starts rattling on about this. certainly it will be nice if my kids like being around me and dh and are able to take care of us when we are old, but i want them to do it not out of obligation but cos they just love us so much, like how we love them too. ultimately, children are through us, not from us. we're here to love and nurture them, we don't "own" them.
 
shazz
Super tempted... but I'm not going to get my own place till May next year... my room no more space for storage!! Tonight ask my Finance Minister see how... lol.
 
nursing bras
when's the best time to get them? like 8mths? will the breasts actually grow larger after delivery cos of the milk?

maternity pads
can we just get the regular whisper type with more super, ultra absorbency, protection and wings? what's a good brand?
 
i have a fren who's mum actually kept an accounts book and so when we were staying tog in aust, she really scrimped and saved every single cent lor. got pros and cons lar. Sometimes its quite pek chek cos we seemed to be "taken advantage" of, since we share grocery costs.

my own mum used to "demand" allowance from me when i started working. I was always reluctant to give but was more willing to give to dad since dad was the one bringing home the bacon. But as i grew older, i realised that its only fair that i give her allowance since she's done soooooo much for us.. and of cse I wont demand allowance from my kids, like what some of u had mentioned, its additional bonus if they give.

its really tough being parents.
There's no right or wrong method.
One man's meat is another's poison.

take my atas ILs for eg. To them, everything can be solved using money. So whether the sons need or not, they'll give money and what happened in the end? Both sons turned out differently. Elder one (my ah lao) is so called down to earth, while the younger one, at the age of 28, has not held a single job for more than 3mths. He is still taking mummy's money and studying for his masters. To him, theres no need to work now.
 
hahaa.. bacon, i did the same thing for my receipts at tmc too! I told ah lao i will keep them in a file and claim from son in future! haha.. of cse it was meant to be a joke lar.

mei and shazz.. i am also very tempted to buy the bumper mats.. i loved the LG underwater world one.. soooo cute...but sooo exp.. ahhaa.. I shall pray that ah lao strikes something in the euro match tonite! hhahah
 
Hi Fave, no, I did not join any of the antenatal class. What I did was to try to borrow books from the library and read up as much as I can...

Experience mothers - - I heard that if you do exclusive breastfeeding, you will not have your mense for the 1st 6 months? And it's just spotting that you will be experiencing??
 
crayonshinchan
Hmm.. your atas IL sounds like mine.. to my MIL, money is KING! Just few months back when she was pissed off with me, she told my hubby that I'm very dumb, if I'm nice to her, I can drive luxury car, stay luxury house, wear branded goods.. wakao.. so shallow.. I got totally no respect for her man.. lol.
 
xuanting (xuanting) : Flos and I got Whispher heavy duty ones with wings for night flow. Hee, I've been using Whispher for years ... so it's a natural choice for me.

As for nursing bras, yes, I was told to buy in 3rd trimester, think can start looking around next mth, just in case we pop early.

Was kpo-ing in other threads, was suprised that in the July thread, mums were popping in May!

Mei and crayonshinchan: yeah, me too .. but they're so exp! think I'll just get the functional Yellow Bear in 2100 x 1400 x 15 cos I like the thickness and dimension. The cartoon is rather educational too.
 
Getting money back from your children

It is so weird. Both my hubby and myself won't be doing that for sure as we do what we do because we love our children and wants the best for him her. In fact, I don't pin on them giving us money when we are old, we can jolly well take care of outselves.
happy.gif
as long as they turn out as fine young men, we are happy.
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Insurance
I got Life, 21-years endowment and Aviva Medical shield plan for our son. The Life policy is cheaper to get it for him now, and he can just take over the payment of the premium when he turns 21. Endowment is for (part of)his studies, and medical is, well, for medical purposes.
 
mei: your atas MIL is really the ultimate! your FIL must be a really nice man to tahan her and raised your hubby up differently from his mum! ;p
 
xuanting, i shd be using normal night safe kind.. those extra long ones...i am kind of worried as I don normally wear pads. i will itch if i wear pad..even panty liner.. BAH!

and those doing "strict" confinement.. since we are not allowed to touch water, how to wash?? a bit yucky rite? use wet wipes which we'd bot for our babies? heee.. i don think i'll follow strictly ba.. hygiene is more impt since i tend to itch..

rachel.. i aint experienced.. but i tot we'll be having lochia (or something) from 2ks to 6wks or something...
 
i'm surprised to read that there are such parents who are so calculative to get back every single cents from their children.

glad that my parents are not like that. they didn't even ask me for monthly allowance eversince i started work, they just ask me to keep for my own use.

even till now that i'm married, my mum still pay for stuffs that she helped me to buy and don't expect me to pay her back, saying that she cannot buy things for her daughter meh..
 
RXmom,

My hubby and I think like both of u too. My manager once told me the secret to happy parenting is not to expect much in return from your kids. Our parents' generation and the generations before went through a lot of hardship, and gave up so much to allow us a good education, guess it's natural they expect something in return. My family actually told me no need to give any allowance especially now that I have my own family, but i still give a bit.


On the other hand, our generation can adequately provide for ourselves, so the thinking is different.
 
Money
Whoa...it's amazing how calculative some people are..I think the more you expect the kids to "pay back" the less likely they will do so willingly man. I don't think kids are a zero sum game...there will def be expense...as it is, I owe my mom lots of money and can only start thinking about returning to her now, but she always says don't need...which makes me want to give back even more! See, reverse psych works
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Mei,
Nothing to say about your MIL already !!!
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Rather be stupid than materilistic/shallow lah...if u accept those luxuries, then u will probably feel like you "owe" her your life...worse!
 
meie, i think we were grousing abt our atas ILs sometime back.. same type same pattern... I owas tell ah lao that i find my ils very shallow too! No doubt they dont spend money on branded stuff and all BUT STILL....

and I was mildly surprised that my MIL actually bot back fake le sportsac and LV from china recently though. She only knew abt these brands at the market..hahaa...

jessi, same here.. even though i still give mum allowance and all, the amt of stuff that she buys for me far exceeds what i give her.. hahaa.. mummies are owas the best..
 
shazz, july mtbs popping in may is so early! i guess some of those with earlier edds should be popping around now.

i wonder who will be the first amongst us to pop!

crayonshinchan, are you allergic to the rubbery parts of the pad or does the trapped heat make u uncomfortable? i'll definitely be washing down there. don't want to kena infection...
 
a question ah.. does anyone here experience an increase in discharge now? i need to change my panty liner a few times a day else it will "overflow" and stain my panties. sometimes if i walk too much or do some housework, i realised that my discharge got pieces of yellowish/greenish gel like discharge, like phlegm kind (sorry it sound gross :p) don't know if it's infection or something to do with the mucus plug?
 
Ava
Agree totally! I rather be labelled dumb by her.
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Last time, before I got married, I used to drive a beemer... then I decided to sell it away & downgrade to a small car since both hubby & myself have our own cars.. makes more sense.. then when she found out that I changed my car to a small jap car, she was quite unhappy. & when she wanted me to send her to the airport, she insisted that I drive her car. My office is in the east and I have season parking at my office, didn't make sense to me to drive her car & pay parking charges at my office or drive back to the west and drive my own car back, waste petrol! So, I was very firm & said no.. either my car or you take cab. She chose to take cab!
 
xuanting (xuanting) : that thread is quite cute ... the mummies there contributed to a fund, the winner is the one who pop first. the mummy who popped first, her baby was in ICU for a while, I just found out recently from my fren in that thread that the bill came up to $39k! Thank God govt subsidised her bills, so she only paid about $8/9K from her medisave. Thank God she chose the public wards at KKH, if not the bill will be huge!

Mei: I also dunno what to say about your MIL already! haha ... can tell that she's full of pride!

Desitin & Toothpaste Spree: hooray! 2nd box is here! I'll be heading to post office to buy the box and bubble envelope for Bacon&Egg and T_T. Those who're self-collecting at my place, please check your emails and make arrangements with me from there.

Will pass to Ava and Mei theirs during lunch on Friday.
 
<font color="119911">Fave (favedude) - weird that ur gyne advised u to go for C without any medical reason. Mine was open to it (I know some gynes who insist on natural), but wouldn't purposely encourage.

Paying back parents - I guess, at the end of the day, it should be out of the kid's own free will...my ILs insisted on a certain percentage from their kids, &amp; i think that is being too strict. My parents don't demand (thou they hint), and while i do give them a monthly amount (more as a token, not that they need the money), I think my other sisters do not give on a regular basis, &amp; my parents are fine with that too. But of cos, once we leave the baby with ILs to take care during working hours, it would be logical to give them more to cover baby's expenses.

BABY's KICKS - btw, my gyne mentioned today that we can start monitoring the kicks already. Need to count at least 10 kicks/day &amp; if it falls below that, have to contact the clinic.</font>
 
xuanting.. i really dont know.. I've changed to those "netted" ones and those cotton ones but all the same reaction. So what I do is, I'll alternate tampon and pad.. bery ma fan...

I do hope tat all of us here will carry at least to 36wks ;-).. not too early.. but i think ava will be earlier rite?
 
shazz, 39k! for those of us who are committed to our pte hosps, can we like transfer our bb over to kkh if it's premature and needs to stay in the nicu? or must deliver in kkh once we know it's going to be premature?
 
lovebug: actually, when u attend the TMC course in July, they (the video u shall be made to watch) will promote Avent IQ24 which is currently selling at $160 at Cheong Choon, Mothercare, Kiddy Palace (if member), and Robs. Not sure abt Taka, Metro...

xuanting: I really can't wear any other brands apart from Whisper cos I am ultra-sensitive down there. The absorbency is just superb!

What "fang(2) lao(3)"? Dream on, man..Gen Z kids won't bother with Gen X/Y parents like us one lah...

PEDICURE: I just went for mine. I also called beforehand to check if anyone did acrylic nails for the day before I show up. My kind manicurist will arrange a slot for me that is most toxic-free...

HAIRCUT: I also go due off-peak hours and request to sit right next to the reception corner, near to the entrance to minimise the inhalation of dyes, perming lotions, and what-nots...

Ava: What did u owe your mom for?

I will never ask my kid(s) to pay me back in future, cos my folks never asked anything back from me. My DH and I will save up for my own retirement and fend for ourselves.

Mei: your ILs are really something!

Millie: I also agree with Lok. For me, medical (hospitalisation) first, followed by endowment (to tide him till 21YO). Others are optional.
 
xuanting: cannot change from pte hospital to govt/restructured hospital for such cases. there was one case reported in the ST. The parents gotta pay a large bill to the pte hospital.

Nurse Chong told us at the beginning of the lesson that if u r on the way to your pte hospital, ur water bag bursts, u cannot make a detour to the nearest govt/restructured hospital like KKH or NUH. The latter will not admit u. U need to go to your own pte hospital.
 
Crayon
My idea time to pop is 37 weeks...am praying not earlier cos:
-sister's wedding in late Aug
-NICU: I don't get subsidies!!

Flos
My mom helped us with our downpayment for first flat and Off Peak COE for our first car. You can imagine how much we owe her lor! We've been giving her lump sum repayments, but only covered a teeeeny tiny bit so far.
 
flos: is it IQ24? promotion mah if not why they give free avent milk bottles kekeke :p
breastfeeding dun need so many bottles
so dunno really need to spend so much on IQ or not
i checked out with my friend the normal one is good enough so i just bought the normal one

u bought urs already?

i must really check cheong choon out man
seem really cheap things
 
Hey gals,

I am thinking to start taking raspberry leaf tea now to aid in delivery.. I am thinking natural, and with no epidural.

Anyone tried it before and knows where to buy them in singapore?
 
Hi all.. just came back from doing a bit of shopping, bought some small items... both Taka and OG having 20% for Pigeon and Avent products..

I ordered a carton from Nepia and it arrived today but their delivery a little messed up, I requested for it to be delivered in the morning, even got a confirmation through email but when it hadn't arrived by 11am I called their transport service and was told that it was scheduled to be delivered in the afternoon. I told them that I won't be around so she said that they would deliver after 6pm.. just as I was about to go out around 12pm, the delivery guy called and asked whether he could deliver it in 5 mins, I agreed but he hadn't arrived after 10 mins so I just left my house and asked my FIL to help me. Eventually, the delivery man called, apparently he was given the wrong block number so that's why he was delayed..

Quiling/crayon and any other teachers out there -
i'm just curious when do you ladies plan to start your maternity leave? i'm thinking of starting 2 weeks before my delivery date which will be the week before september holidays.

I've heard a lot about this destin cream, i saw it at mustafa selling for $11, is that considered cheap?

Shazz, can still order from BMO? one of my friends is thinking of ordering some stuff.
 
Mei - hey you work in the east too? ME TOO!! Where are u based?

Limay - my gynae said no need to monitor kicks if all looks normal. I think gynaes really differ in their opinions / peresonalities. By the way, I went in for a check up today too. How heavy is your baby now?

Parents - I think my parents expect a little (esp my dad) but doesn't outwardly show it. I pay my mom back for most things she buys for me coz I know she has no income since retiring but u're right - reverse psych works. Happier to give my mom than my dad since he is the one who expects it more.
 


bacon&amp;egg, my school is very near to harbourfront but i don't have a lunch time and school ends at 1:30pm so although i would love to join you gals for lunch, don't think its possible..

one of the reasons why i chose KKH is because of the complications issue.. the aunt of one of my pupils was telling me that her first child was delivered at either Mt A or Mt E and had some complications, her gynae recommended that she transfer the baby to a government hospital because 'she wouldn't be able to afford the private hospital fees if baby is kept in hospital for a few months', in the end the baby was transferred to NUH. she told me that private hospitals charge would be around $200,000 as compared to around $20,000 for government hospital.. don't know true or not..
 

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