(2008/07) July 2008

michelle
hang in there. the first 6 months will be the worst. even if change sch it may not help unless u think the sch has a problem with hygiene.

is he still on the puff? u giving him probiotics to help him with the stomach? any fever? if the gastric flu is really bad, maybe better to let him rest stomach and not eat much. when jx had stomach flu she actually rejected all food and just rest and take fluids. it helped her to recover within 2 days.

was hard rock good? how come the pool cannot be used? we were at festive and i was thinking of going to hard rock to swim.

hope all of u get well soon!!

jace
u still on househunting?
 


mich,
congrats on the new home!
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glad that sentosa break did some good.
why are you thinking of changing school for eboy? thought he was ok there?

batgirl, jace,
good luck on hse hunting!

to war
sian ah. am officially on cold war now w Mr C. this morning, C1 dug in his heels and refused to wash backside after poo when i was rushing to get C2 to PD, and Mr C was rushing to get to work. Mr C scold C1 until C1 cringed into my arms.
lunchtime, Mr C asked me out for lunch. i was annoyed w him for this morning's attack on C1 so i said no at first. then he asked me again, quick one, he said. and smsed me that he cannot stand C1's bhvr already, pls take over this week. FWAH. i smsed back, ok at least good that you (Mr C) are self aware.
over lunch, we talked. and somehow talk became fight over who is more tired/sick and who took care of C1 more (Mr C, not me) over the long weekend. yes, it was a super looooooong weekend indeed. never ending weekend. C2 was down w stomach flu and I could have (but did not) let maid take care of him wor. Mr C spent Thu evening, Fri morning at beach, Sat morning at mall, Sun morning at church then my fren's place with C1 wor. while I was swanning around... ya I wish... while I was bz recovering on Thu evening, woke up early to grocery shop on Fri morning, supervised maid to clean hse on Sat morning and kena pooed on at church on Sun morning by C2 so much that I can actually _feel_ pple trying not to hold their breath as I passed into church, i walked 2 bus stops home in the sun (w C2, w no ergo) to change so that I do not stink up church and my fren's party.
all these escalated into I, cellow, mummy of C1, din pay C1 enough attention, and therefore tis not his, Mr C's, fault that C1 is acting up.

that does it. cold war is officially on. i m very clear eyed abt this. wish me strength!

youpi, pb,
i m ok with not changing uniform to go to sch. but not washing backside after poo is super yucks. i told C1 this morning no one likes to play or be around a boy with a smelly backside. that din work too. i m not really sure wat else to say next.

steph,
yes do take some herbs to strengthen yourself. que sera sera re TTC again.
..... i feel so petty ranting abt Mr C la after reading how positive you are.....
 
Cellow, ok ok cool cool but seriously if i were u i will have done that too. I had the same issue with xun gal too. She is getting very rebellious and mr jace hit her pretty hard (using a cane) on sat night. A couple of times. And he was super guilty after that.

I sometimes think that with both parents working, it makes things worst? Because the kids just feel that we dont give them enough attention? Is that the reason why they are misbehaving?

SY, yah we stopped for a while then now continue to look. Gg to look for a place to rent first.
 
cellow

*hugs* can really see how angry you are and what a super long weekend it has been.

I am not in your shoes and may not really know the dynamics of everything so I am just basing on what I am reading...i feel that you are just trying too hard to do too many things on your own that may not be as important at that point in time. what I am trying to say is perhaps prioritise a bit?

like you are sick and are just recovering, the cleaning of the house i think can wait or just let the maid go and do it all on her own?

can mr C do the grocery shopping instead? or the maid? seriously if its ntuc, you could send the maid cos there are receipts.

if you can see that mr C is up to his neck already with C1, (you already know he is naturally short fused) then you could have hand C2 over to the maid for a while and you take over from mr C for a while just to relieve him a bit? before it escalates to an explosion? :p

and walking 2 bus stops in the sun with a sick baby (the sun over the weekend was horrible horrible) when you are just recovering yourself wasn't wise too. you shld have hopped into a cab.

think you are under immense stress which is why you are falling sick at least once a month and there are a lot more tension between you and Mr c. whether we like it or not, we need our partner's help in child-rearing. it's up to us to decide which part that will give us the least grief! haha!

when you are feeling poorly yourself, all the more you can't function at your optimal best, so maybe learn to let go a little?
 
but bounces back quickly to think of fun activities for C1 this evening.

playground it is for him tonight... recognising i m too tired to go very far.

jace,
at least Mr Jace feels guilty. Mr C only knows to take verbal cheap shots at me.
ROOOOOOOAR
 
Sayang cellow. Cut yourself a little slack ok? We all want to be supermums (excel at work, have perfect kids, clean homes, good relationships etc) but we are all still human and sometimes just need. A. Break.

You also need to rest when you are not well ok? When cold war with Mr C is over maybe you can officially split certain roles and jobs with him? So you don't have the whole world on your shoulders? Tired and stressed out mummy doesn't do anyone any good ok? Chill chill.

Jace
Don't worry/feel guilty. Having both parents around hasn't stopped poppy from being a very naughty monkey
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Cellow
*Hugs* Don't be so hard on yourself. I agree with doggiebb that it seemed like you are trying to do a lot of things on your own. Take a deep breath and while caring for your children is your priority, you need to take care of yourself as well. If you are sick, let the helper handle the kids while you rest. Once you are recharged, you can take over.. one kid at a time keke.

Actually (not trying to defend anyone) Mr C is quite OK in a sense that he could spend some time with C1 at beach, mall, etc. Mr SD, despite his huge love for his daughters, will not spend his time alone with Emma for more than 1 hour. Cuz he felt he wouldn't be able to handle Emma's feeding, bathroom duties, and whining. So he would insist that I do everything with the helper's help. If we were out on a vacation, he would only look after Emma when I'm taking a shower. He will NEVER go out alone with Emma. In fact, he only went out alone with Ashley when Ashley was 6. Other than that he would rather stay home, or forced me to go together.

Give more attention to C1 today and about the poo thing.. well when C1 is being stubborn it is probably no use to tell him anything. Emma is like that so I'll wait until she cools down.
 
Cellow I do think Doggiebb is absolutely right ... ... even I also feel that I dont have much strength handling the toddler .. and to think my hubby has been pretty supportive (at lease he feels guilty) ... so I cannot imagine if I am in ur shoes.

But I am also like u, trying to do too much at one go and after that realise I am so drained ... no strength to move on... so probably follow what doggiebb says, prioritise.

My colli pushed me to an edge and told me, u just need to weigh ur priorities and then throw away everything else. That was when I realise I cant and some of the problems I have are probably self inflicted as well (e.g. trying to keep the hse spick and span, trying to work and take care of the family + trying to help my mum as much as I can etc). Probably something which I will need to learn.

*pat pat cellow*

Honestly sometime I am guilty of making verbal attacks at mr jace .. this happens when I am too stressed out and thats when everything he does is wrong. and I will most prob be trying to pick on him at every single thing he does *guilty and is still trying to change* ... is mr C too stressed out? I dont recall he being that way before? Or was it not that bad with just 1 child; with 2 it just shows up more?

U must also remember that u and him are in a marriage together. If both of u are on the same side, then taking care of the children together will not be as bad as if both of u are on opposite ends. And also, marriage is for life; children are for life too ... ...

Why not try switching over? He takes care of C2 and u C1? *wondering in my mind if i missed out something .. why did u not try this option?*
 
jace,
his idea of taking care of C2 is to play computer games or surf ebay for his stoooopid watches while maid takes care of C2.
wat i cannot stand is when the merry go round stops, Mr C is left w no kid bcz hey cellow has C1 and maid has C2 mah. wah lau. i also need a break one leh. not only you, you idiot man. wat makes you think that your time and your energy is so much more precious than mine. GROWL
 
to be fair to Mr C, even after we fight hor, he still drove me home instead of dumping me by the roadside to walk home by myself.

which is what i would have done to him if i had the car.

and yes SD, he is a very hands-on daddy. sometimes literally too hands-on to C1.
 
Cellow ah I see ... but i think man are all like that. Mr jace's idea of taking care of mini xun is to leave her on the playmat crawling (and grabbing every item she can reach and put into her mouth) while he is just physically beside her but eyes glued to the tv or papers !@#$% I will have to constantly be shouting at him to watch out for her. Sigh how tired can that get? I keep asking him why are man like this? cant man just do something properly and correctly? I keep telling him I am so tired of asking him to do something properly ...
but ok .. i do see him put in some efforts... ...

hmmm for me, I think me and mr jace lacks some kind of 'dating' time or 'alone' time to just rekindle some kind of feeling. My friend always tells me thats the way to keep her relationship with hubby going. She will spend time alone with hubby (after both kids sleeps - btw her kids are the same age as mine just slightly older) to watch youtube, maunch on snacks etc.. just do something 'alone'. Not sure if it works. For me, I find that if I have a helper, it does helps me 1000 times because I will feel that I have more time of my own.

Side note: I absolutely hate it when the hubby reads the papers over and over again. He can read all kinds of papers everyday. The problem with reading papers 1) he will forever mess up the place with the papers all over and I will have to tidy up after him; 2) even when we seat down side by side to have breakfast, his focus is on the papers and no me!; 3) he will be reading papers and taking care of the kids at the same time (both eyes on papers btw; so none left for the kids) and 4) at the end of the day, he will be with dirty fingers and will leave finger prints all over the place ...

sounds like a mummy complaining over her child? hahaha
 
Another side note: why am I so free today? because it is a london holiday and most people are not in office! And so, I have totally no mood to work ... just waiting for time to pass!
 
Same la. As hands on as mr bbp is, he also does the watching tv while "watching" the kid. So 2 things happen. Either
a) dec goes "pa pa" many times and gets no answer cos someone's inside the tv already.
B) they both end up watching sports together.
Since this only happens on sat, I let it go. Now dec even watches non-popular sports such as rugby and baseball.
 
hey Jace, hi-5! that is also the reason why i got time today. no mood to work. even though impt (but not urgent) things are piling up.

see, mr c tried to date me out for lunch and got a earful from me. after the kids are asleep ah... does that work for mr Jace and you? it doesnt for us, bcz voila, he is glued to the computer and then so i will be too.

i m the one reading the papers all the time, that is my alone time, but only the ST la, not all types of papers. 1) i tidy up after myself 2) i dun bring the papers to the dining table 3) ditto for me 4) i wash my hands straightaway after reading so voila clean hands!

again to be fair to Mr C, he does tear his eyes away fm the computer when i tell him specifically to take over bcz i have to go toilet / shower. any other reason, he will tell me to tell the maid to do. i spend a LOT of time in the toilet / shower just breathing bcz tis my ME time. like Wanda in Baby Blues lor.
 
alamak

at the rate i m regaining my sense of humour and perspective, i might just break down this evening and forget that i m in a cold war w Mr C.

must. endure. and. be. stony. faced.
 
Cellow LOL haha no wonder u are like instantly replying to me. Yah there is work but I have absolutely no mood to do anything. So my eyes are glued to the forum (and thinking why no one reply after i post the msg for 1 min) and property guru. hahaha

Well try again with the lunch date? Today did not work because u are still fuming? After a few days of cooling down, try again? maybe this time round do a root cause analysis with him to display what u think is an underlying behavioral problem which u hope he will change so that he is a better dad and a better hubby to u?

Opps on papers reading. Seriously I keep grumbling him because of the papers :p he will finish ST and then buy chinese papers to read somemore! Papers are everywhere because he just cannot keep them properly!!

As for alone time with him after the kids are asleep, i have been trying but errm does not quite work now because I will be busy cleaning up the hse after the kids settle down. And yes, I spend quite alot of time in the toilet because its also ME time! And ME QUIET time (even though i get xun gal banging on the door sometimes)

I think we are quite alike in some instances except that u are thin and i am pretty fat. *hahaha* and I think I am probably the weaker one because I am almost at my brim without a helper with 2 kids and all the travelling. Going crazy liao lo *_*
 
jacelyn,
you are more even tempered than i m la. LOL on "we are quite alike in some instances except that u are thin and i am pretty fat". agree on the alike w 2 children. and the struggles of raising both tog w the sometimes-i-think-he-is-mad husband.

[i dun think you are fat. aside, is your thyroid condition under control now?]

i tell you smthing funny. Sat afternoon, Mr C fired the 1st salvo by cleaning the fridge while maid was washing car. i had thought abt the financial filing to be done for ages and ages, so his action spurred me to action. we did not speak abt the clean fridge or the neat paperwork at all that afternoon or ever since. do you think after the cold war, i shd compliment him on the clean fridge.... hehe.
 
Cellow hahaha its good to hear that i am even tempered. My hubby will probably not think so :p
Yup my thyroid errm I think is perfectly fine now. No medication and still got 5kg left so I dont think I have a problem now haha ... I told my GP that if I have a problem (as in see my weight decreasing) i will probably wait until i regain my figure before i see her hahahahahah :p

And yes u should probably praise him a bit on the clean fridge and tell him, if he could do such a good job with taking care of the kids he will be a wodner husband. *why does he need to clean the fridge? shouldnt it be the job of the maid? And why dont he just use the energy to care of the kids? Probably he is more keen on cleaning fridge than taking care of kids ... ...*

Ok going to knock off early today since bosses are not around! :p
 
jace,
bcz a clean fridge is a more visible outcome than an hour spent with a kid that is calm, relaxed and NOT throwing a tantrum.
also possibly bcz the kids were asleep then. it was 3-4pm in the afternoon on Sat.

BYEEEEEE! for the day.

wah, both of us are flooding the forum all by ourselves today la.
 
I think all hubbies are the same to a certain level... I'm very grateful that BB doesn't squirm away from diapers etc. Heck, he even did the SAHD stint! But still, there are mornings when I am rushing to get poppy fed, dressed and ready for school and he's working on the comp. I have nothing against him doing that or even watching sports shows but I cannot understand why he doesn't notice a flustered bunny hopping around and chasing a tiny naughty bunny. Esp since once we're out of the house, he gets the house all to himself to do whatever he needs to do. My main thing is that family time should be family time. Our rule is that we all eat together. The 3 of us, no phones or computers. Sometimes we resort to tv for poppy but the adults should put phones aside. It irks me that he suka suka will break this rule.

Whatever I do, I have to accomodate poppy. Like give her small things to "chop" and "cook" when I'm preparing meals. If she's playing then I shout out once in a while "are you ok?". But if he's doing something, he just says "go find mama". So easy right?

Aiyah. They are who they are la. We must like something about them enough to marry them right? Let's try to remind ourselves that
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Have a nice evening everyone!
 
cellow
hugs hugs...i think Mr C is very good already! at least taking care of kids dun mean watching tv only.

i can understand what u r going thru cos i m like that too! i try to do everything myself and when hb takes over, i m not satisfied with the way he does it. his idea of taking over is to turn on the tv for them. maybe think of it this way, their capacity is much smaller than ours. so they reach the brim easily without realising we are reaching ours too! cos they reach first so they feel they do a lot already. like when i was sick, my hb did try to take care of them so i rest but in the end when he's tired, he still dump the 2 of them to me to take a nap. whereas i dun ever take a nap without anyone disturbing me. one of the kids will sure hang ard me until i get fed up and ask hb to take the kid away. but when he sleeps, i m expected to shoo everyone away from him automatically. it's not balanced but i guessed that's the way it will be.
can't change them so change ourselves right? no point being unhappy. focus focus on the kids!
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Whoa...cellOw..manage to keep that stony face on when u got home fm work? I had the same question in head: why didn't u guys swop babies? U jaga c1 n he jaga c2...

Arrgh men! Mine cannot handle bbG too and baby sits by turning in tv immediately for him while he surfs net!! N doesn't help that he's develoPing a bad habit of watching from corner of eyes now (dun want my bb to grow up cross-eyed!)

Mich..why r u thinking of changing school again? Cos e-boy keeps falling sick?

Mr Delphin came tO visit over the wkend n I was so tempted..then had 2nd thoughts on whether it's really good tO keep house so Delphin-clean when outside world is dirty n boy may be more adversely sensitive as a result...sO probably no Delphin for us..but boy was it convincing and is my mattress really that filthy? *blush*

Got more shows by Playtime comin up and one by act3 (Eric carle's the very hungry caterpillar) but will prObably give it a Miss cos we r starting music classes with manderville in may!

Youpi..u know the few names tO check out? Yamaha, christofori, seimpi, u can try staccato at turf city but go for the class conducted by the founder herself, dr lee Pei ming.. Think there's music chamber at bukit Timah/ beautyworld too..
 
morning all,

dd,
i din manage the stone face and the cold war bcz Mr C also backed down and made effort to connect w C1 in the evening.
i heart my delphin....
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makes me so happy to see all the dirt come out of the mattresses.

pb,
Mr C does the 'bring phone to dining table and surf net' during dinner! drives me crazy. i told him, family time is family time, and i WILL enforce the rule of no phones or other electronic devices while eating at the table onto C1 and C2.... bcz i think tis poor table manners and disrespects the person who painstakingly prepared the meal. he bleated at me THAT was his only ME time. *kosh his head for such a lame reason*
i know the 2 grandmas are with me on this. i will def use my MIL as a loud hailer to reinforce onto Mr C re this point.
 
Good morning!

DD
Yup, I know the usual suspects, but was wondering if there are places or teachers that convey the love of music as well. Will probably pop into Yamaha to take a look as it's the most convenient at the moment. I recall being in the baby classes with my parents when I was three. Why did you choose Mandeville?

SY
Why do you want Jx to learn the violin? My S wants to learn the drums.

Cellow
*Sayang* Think you and Mr C need to sit and set down the parameters for mealtimes, child minding, etc. It's easier for the children to understand and behave if the rules are consistent among all the adults who look after them. Tel Mr C that he will have lots of ME time when the boys are older and really, it'll happen faster than he can imagine. Also, it's okay to let some things go. Take taxis, and generally, make things easier for yourself so that you won't feel upset/angry/resentful as this will affect your darlings. You are so lucky to live next to the beach so you can take cool down walks there with the boys too
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cellow

so stony.face.at.night was no go last night? hehe!


youpi

our bishan park is really turning out to be so nice! we shld date each other to go there for walks with our little ones too!
 
youpi
oh not jx i was thinking of jh. jx will be piano if she's keen..hee. drums? where to learn? jh is really interested. actually they do have music classes in sch and they are doing drums for jh's class. so tot it's good to let him learn something else. train his patience and discipline.

cellow
yes use your mil to knock mr C's head. that's what i do too when i get frustrated. at least let someone else do the nagging haha.

this morning also very piss with my hb. i already sick so woke up a bit later and he woke up even later cos he always wait for me to wake up. then got to wake 2 kids and try not to be late. he din even come and help me wake them up. when i grumble he said he's late liao...bbut so am i!! arrggh
 
youpi,
one of my frens is conducting musikgarten lessons in her home. but a bit far for you... tis in bukit batok. sms me if you want the contact. she really loves music!
beach walks. no need to envy.... your big park is also super duper nice.

doggiebb,
hehe. oh well, if he takes a step back, i also do the same lor.


today no more 121 w Jace in the forum
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hello! yah yah yah back to work today ... no more yaya day! busy busy
and I am gg to fetch my new maid during lunch time later!! Praying hard she is good man!!
 
chill cellow chill..... prioritise and take care of yourself hor... I help you *kok* mr C head!

sigh, I've got eboy's virus so took mc these two days, but there is this deadline to meet at work which i am rushing, all by myself, so i also cannot really rest. Thank goodness this job allows work from home so i'm effectively working from home this whole week....

oh, re changing school
after several months, they are changing to a new set of teachers and while I am ok with the school facility, inrastructure, curriculum, i have my doubts on the teachers (always on MC and always relief teacher). But what;s more important is that, one contact i knew through work, managed to put eboy into the school which I have been eyeing and still on waitlist! but we can only start in July so most likely changing him in July!

as to house hunting,
took us a while and after two months of negotiating, finally agreed on the price of the new house. its big enough for 3 generation to live in and yet have our own space, so we're pretty excited. I don;t think i will regret wanting to stay with in law so much. During eboy's sickness, it was in-law's support that pulled us through the difficult times so I can better juggle work and eboy better, plus they are always there when we need them... I'm looking forward to a happy family staying together! I just pay the high price thinking that the price will continue to rocket, plus if I am buying to stay, then it really doesn't matter if i catch the price at rock bottom or not.. staying in the house will tide over the short term fluctuations. The long term propect of Singapore's property will be going up up up anyway, so let eboy benefit lah! hahaha

Dustee, you shifted in yet? don;t let me beat you to it! hee hee...
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sy,
*sayang sayang* today get him a big and NOISY alarm clock.
then tonight, make a big deal of setting it for him to wake up. tell him he has gotta wake the kids up too tmr morning.

think you are like me.... i m usually the first one up (the maid wakes up first but she is not counted la) unless i m really ill.
 
mich

can't wait for you to shift in and have a big housewarming party for us! woohoo!

alarm clock:

same! the whole family would be up already but the man would still be snoring away.
 
morning everyone,
what a loooooong weekend with NO mornings off for me... and i just had to mop the floor today. it was sticky all over... thanks to boy's crying all over the house when kena scolding and caning for being naughty and whinny. son's school was closed yday too so instead of staying home and screaming after the boy every 5 min, we went to the zoo. and i felt like i was in some ang moh country coz there were more Caucasians at the zoo than Asians!

youpi,
i will usually bring boy out on fridays but this friday is out coz there's school excursion. how about tomorrow or thursday? can meet you after 4pm though... i PM you my tel no. Anyone else keen to go Bouncing Kids at Kovan?
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Cellow,
like most of the mommies commented, don't be too hard on yourself. i was so stressed out till i needed to quit my job to keep my sanity. and with the hb, i've learnt not to expect him to do anything at all, esp now that HE is the sole breadwinner and i'm the full time maid at home. since you have your helper, let her take care of C1 and you take care of C2. C1 is older and already knows who is his mommy. C2 is younger and you still need to bond more with him. as for Mr. C, let him involve himself with the boys on his own terms. If he just want to be a mommy's Boy and do his own stuff, let him be. I was told several times, it's better the hb is at home where we can see what he's doing than out partying and who knows what else.... My conclusion is Men in general are really not the ideal care giver. I've heard so many many similar stories like our husbands and experienced similar situations myself. Hence, i chose to have peace and quiet at home amicably by ignoring hb's intensive gaming instead of giving him excuse to ignore wife and son even more. when he starts feeling guilty, he will bring more heart when he decided to pay some attention to wife and son. am i making any sense?

Michelle,
congrats to finding your dream house. Having enough personal space for everyone is very very important when you're staying with in laws... best is on separate levels
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just a note, if e-boy is not used to stairs, must pay more attention for safety reasons. when we moved into the terrace house previously, the stair case was to my son like trees are to monkeys... he rolled down the steps at my parents' place just last week when we went over for dinner. luckily it was just a few steps and he ended up with bruised cheek and shin.

"Adults don't play children's toys..."
with me at home, son just won't stop asking me to play with him. and the whining and throwing tantrums just got worse recently when i refused to give in to his demands. it has reached a point where i had to explain to the boy the different toys children and adults play with. hehehe... Adults like daddy play with computers and iphones. Children play with Lego, bricks, etc.... Gosh... i'm so heartless la... i'm robbing the poor boy of his childhood innocence
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DD,
can share more about this Mandeville? thanks... i still haven't found a music school for the boy. we're still waiting for Seimpi to call us about a place... not sure how long the wait list is...
 
hello mummies..

having 2kids is no joke..
how did you all do it?

Alarm clock
Hands up totally.. Plus e annoyin part is that he snoozes the alarm so many times and stil cant wake up!

Michelle
Envy.. i wish i can go hunt for a bigger house too..

cellow
Wanted to just say.. U are not alone.. We are in e same boat. Men..

sy
Where are u sendin jh for violin? kayden prefers violin over piano, but i don think he has e fingers for it. Kasper has long fingers though.
 
michelle
i think with in laws like that it makes sense to stay with them! if they are really able to help and not too difficult to get along with, then it sure is better to stay with them. i think kids benefit from having interaction with more pple as well!

i also dun think property will drop much. singapore is so small and yet attracting more pple to come here. so demand > supply so price shd go up! and i believe once u find your dream place, dun wait cos when prices fall, ppl may not want to sell!

re waking hb
i dun think he can hear his alarm.....i guess sometimes it's just expectations on our part. i m also working, and jx is clinging on to me. i already have difficulties changing, putting my make up etc, the least he can do is to wake jh up right...

smiggle
my fren gets the teacher to go to her place. so i was thinking of letting him try. but he dun seem very interested......

as for 2nd kid...well as mummies, i think we just do what we can and what we need to do. i think it is also a time to train the elder one to be more independent. of cos we will be even more tired but there are its pros as well. when kasper grow older and u see them playing together, u will feel that it's worth it!
 
Mich,
Just be prepared for friction. Remember it is no longer status quo so expectations will be different for everyone. Recall the time you were a SAHM (also change of status quo) and the friction you had with your in-law? You have to be prepared cos it's really not easy to live together.

Then again maybe it's just me who is difficult to live with lar...
 
Yes Yes, bbp, i remembered the conflict we had during my temporary SAHm time!!! i think no matter what, conflicts will surely arise, the good thing is, we each have a corner to run and hide from one another!

hearing all the coping with two kids make me even more convinced i;m stopping at 1!
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but SY complain complain, she still sees strength and value in going for #3!
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oh, and SY, did you just ask him to do it. well, we all know that hubbies are the super non-automatic lot and sometimes when you need their help, jsut yell and maybe they will move their butt to doing it.. i've learnt the precious lesson not to expect hubbies to be automatic, and when i need certain things to be done, i just say it right in his face. haha

just did an inventory list check at new house and the whole family is excited! even my mom came along and my MIL kept telling her, there this room you can use, you can come and stay! lucky me, i know..
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ah but mich...
this phase too shall pass as our todd grow into preschoolers and learn wat is appropriate public and home behaviours. right now, they are just asserting their right to be ME ME ME, and we the parents are teaching them that the world doesnt exist to pander to them them them. which is always a valuable life lesson to learn... seeing the bhvr of some adults around.
so 2 or even 3 (SY and Hannahi) is definitely do-able.

bbp,
okok that brings to mind 3 things i know to be true abt families, inspired by Sarah Kay (search in ted.com under talks).
1. blood ties are not easily broken. blood is truly thicker than water, and reason goes out the window.
2. a child is made in love, let him grow up in love too.
3. watever happens, have a dialogue. make it a loud, heated, passionate dialogue if need be! in dialogue, 2 pple can work out their differences. in silence, positions and hearts harden.

jace,
may your new maid be a good help to you!
so that you can put your mind at ease when leaving the xuns with her to go to work.

music lessons
i have a piano at home. but too young to let C1 learn, yes? someone was already asking me over the weekend whether tis time to take formal lessons. HA!!
 
counting my blessings

re reading mich's posts abt why eboy needs to change school - teachers! - makes me realise C1 is truly lucky to have teachers who care. by observation and gut feel, the teachers are keen on doing a good job, not on just filling their day. yes they may not speak the most perfect english, yes their crafts may use the same old boring stuff, but in the end, they put a lot of effort into making sure C1 grows up learning appropriate social bhvr in play and in classroom situations.
plus they tell me little bits of his sch life that do not make it into the comm book. C1 is making frens w XX today... C1 is quiet today... C1 sang a chinese song today and managed to sit throughout the song instead of walking around... C1 put on his own pants after toilet break today.... stuff liddat that comes only when a teacher is observing her student closely.

i need to rem this whenever i get itchy backside abt changing his school.
 
michelle
yeah i did ask him to come and help. haha. i nagged and he wasn't happy but too bad. who ask him not to be helpful? told him off for being selfish.

u sound really excited about your new house! housewarming housewarming housewarming.....
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your mil and your mum sound like they can get along really well!

cellow
i think no harm letting him try if he's keen. most impt is whether they are interested. age shouldn't be a barrier. nowadyas no matter what age, they sure can cater for...haha
 
cellow ah, think they too young to start piano lessons, no? they can't sit still! probably join in early music appreciation as a start, learn rhythm, learn to read notes, learn different types of musical instruments? i would be looking for this kind, but only start after he turns 4. Needs to observe if eboy is the "music" kind first.. haha.. we have a piano at home too, and I'm teaching him some basic. Now he can play first two chords of twinkle twinkle.. but broken up type, not continuous... that;s as far as his patience to stick on piano goes...

I'm starting him for one-on-one in tennis though cos for tennis lesson, he enjoys the full 45 mins cos of his love for the game and since he has shown inclination towards tennis, i will groom him in that area for now... music can wait for a while, mummy no money for so many enrichment! (not forgetting the speech therapy lessons!!!!)

jace, all the best in getting your new maid! hope she will be good! keeping fingers crossed for you!
 
mich,
eboy and tennis are a natural fit. he held the racket as soon as he learnt to walk no?

i play happy birthday for c1 on the piano until i m so sick of hearing the song. haha.
 
Hmm, with this inclination theory, then perhaps I should send Declan for rock climbing lessons. Then maybe I too can learn to climb the walls he drives me up to
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Cellow,
But that is a good song to start. So many songs use that tune! but the only song declan plays is Hot Cross Buns. I've tried to teach him the birthday/twinkle tune but to no avail.
 
Updates: got the maid and sent her to my mum's place. Now back at work ... she looks ok so hopefully she is really ok.
Time will tell!!

Re Piano, xun gal absolutely loves the piano. She calls it 'ah-piano' ... i cant afford the real piano (and my mum gave away our old piano already) ... so I will be buying her a small one for her to play with. and to see if her interest last long enough. Anyway I enquired abt the lessons @ united sq. One-to-one lessons only start at 4 yo.

Michelle, u make me excited abt ur new place too! i also want a new place of my own!!! ahhh

Smiggle, hi-5. 2 kids is no joke at all. Full stop for me!
 
Bbp
Lol about rock climbing!

Mich
Eboy is amazing! Athletic AND musically inclined! Congrats on your new home. Also in east? Great that it's able to have everyone under one room and yet can all have own space

What a lovely afternoon! Bread? Check. Bubbles? Check. Snacks? Check. Good weather? Check. Hello BG, here we come!
 
talking about maids. read this hilarious article and wanna share here!

tongue in cheek hor! :p

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Which maid to choose?
I need your urgent advice about employing a maid. As a busy mother, I need someone reliable to help out at home. My maid is from Profits Agency Pte (PAP) and she has worked for me for a long time. Her mother worked for my parents and did an excellent job, so I had faith in her. For several years her performance has been very good, but recently she has become arrogant and insensitive, and is making lots of mistakes.

For example: 1) She flooded my kitchen – she told me that the drain pipe has blocked (she was supposed to clear it once a month but didn’t). Then she assured me that it is very rare and won’t happen again in the near future. Guess what? It flooded again within a year!

2) She didn’t close a window and my terrier dog escaped. I was so worried cos he is dangerous and could bite lots of people. After the incident, she didn’t apologise and just shrugged her shoulders saying “What to do, it has happened.” Fortunately my neighbour found the dog and we locked it up again.

3) Without consulting me, she has been bringing in strangers for my house's maintenance work. She says they charge low wages and keep costs down, but they eat my food, make a lot of noise and rest on my bed. I think they even tried to seduce my husband. It stopped feeling like my home, more like a cheap hotel, and I don’t always want to come back at the end of the day.

4) When she first came to work for me, I instructed her to clean the different parts of the house at least once a week. But for some time she has stopped taking care of the bedrooms of PP and H; they are now dirty and messy. I asked why and she told me that the kids had been disobedient, so she was neglecting their bedrooms as a punishment (she has forgotten that she is paid to clean all the rooms).

Even though my maid has worked for me for many years and I value what she has done in the past, I think she is now getting complacent. Her attitude is imperious and dismissive. She ignores my comments and basically treats my feedback as "noise". I wrote to the agency about her behaviour; they assured me that they are the best agency around and all their maids are “Committed to Serve” – but I think it is just rhetoric and I don’t see that in her actions. Her salary is much higher than maids in other countries, but the agency say this is to keep her honest and stop her moving to another employer. They say there is a limited supply of maids, and Singapore isn’t big enough for more than one good maid agency, so I should not trust their competitors.

I have to decide whether to renew my maid’s 5-year employment contract. When we discussed this she said that she is now part of a team, and if I want her I must also accept her friends doing part-time work for me. One friend is very inexperienced, can't do basic tasks or explain what she intends to do. I suspect that she is actually underaged. When interviewed, she only seemed interested in her days-off and visiting Universal Studios. When she couldn't answer my questions she stomped her foot and exclaimed, "I don't know what to say!" But I am still expected to pay her a high salary. Now there happen to be a few other maid agencies - Workhard Pte (WP), New Solutions Pte (NSP), Super Personnel Pte (SPP) and Star Domestica Pte (SDP) - that offered me some helpers who seem sincere, genuine and intelligent. They are keen to work, willing to assist me and have a good attitude. I know that they may take a bit of time to learn how everything works, but frankly I am inclined to give them a chance. People say that the devil you know is better than one you don’t. But I feel that I can’t tahan my current maid anymore. Do you think I should sack my current maid and try out a new one? Appreciate your advice.

By: Ming Lee Lim
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Mich
Oops I meant under one ROOF not room hehe

Totally random topic
Anyone knows where to get non hot leggings? For mums, not tots
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as in those that won't make legs feel like in oven kind
 



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