Hi all July Mummies...
I am suspecting that I am developing post-natal depression. It is especially after my business trip last week. Last week,I almost got robbed and non of my colleagues showed concern to me.
I feel so sad, useless and abandoned by my colleagues. I feel the whole world dislike me and I feel so lonely. I know I cannot give up as I had 2 kids. But I feel so trapped and my hubby dun understand or console me. He will say that I am sensitive.
At work, even my junior staff has got promoted except me. I dare to admit that my work is really good except my social skills. Somehow, I think my appearance lose out so thats why i didn't get promoted.
Whenever my colleagues need help, i go all the way to help them. But when I need them the most especially one of the girl who I helped her so much when her mum passed away. There she passed nasty comments like I dunno how to think, no pride and too sensitive.
At home, my hubby always ask me to pay for the meals despite I also need to settle my credit cards bills.
And my maid is always giving me problem cos my good old maid left already. And I dun get the chance to get a good one.
The most serious problem is my mum. She has never stopped complaining to me that my old maid stole her things even though so many times i told that it is already past. Furthermore, she has no evidence. To pacify her, I bought her a watch in hope to shut her mouth. But she never stop..everyday, she will tell me about the old maid and then complaining my baby dun want to sleep, my 3 yr old boy very naughty.
Sometime, I am so scared of going home. I fear of going home as I will start hearing nagging and complaint. My mum scolding my maid.. my dad scolding me for coming home late. Telling me off when I talked back to my mum. My hubby dun understand me. The only time he is gentle and attentive to me is when he wanted to make LXXX.
But yet I cannot stay in office as all my colleagues ignored me. I talked to them..they will pretend cannot hear.Today, I was joking as normal and one of my male colleague scolded me that I have big mouth. I cried on the spot...
I have nowhere to go..sometimes, I stand at the windows and stared. Now I understand how Leslie Cheung feel when he committed sucide. But the only thing is that I have my 2 kids to give me support. But I dunno how long I can pull myself to go through this rough patch in life. No one understand me.
I really dun think I am a bad person as I go all the way out to help friends. When my colleague mum passed away... I was almost due in few days.. I bought milo, essence chicken and asked my other colleague to pass to her. I bought so many things for my colleagues whenever they asked me something. I will help them buy and give it to them free. Sometime, I dun even dare to take back money from them when they forget. Why god treat me this way?