(2008/07) July 2008

Snl/Doreen tay,
Welcome!!

Hi Qing,
Guess you really have to weigh the pros & cons of having a bb. for my 1st one, i have the intention to abort but after seeing the heartbeat, my heart melts. I couldnt bear to do it. Although now time have to spend entirely on her, I dun have any regrets. It's our responsibilty as a parent to take care of our own children wholeheartedly if we decide to bring them into this world.

Hi Dor Dor,
Cannot address you doreen liao, hehe, later confuse... so our EDD quite near lor.. mine is 4 days later.

JMON,
Where will be the lunch?? cos will be working, will have to see where is the place.
happy.gif
 


good morning gals,

Don't know why, i had some brown spotting again yesterday. It happen before lunch and as my office toilet lights are orange lights and my panty is of a darker colour, i cant really tell whether is it brown or yellow discharge.

But when i went home, i saw under the white lights that it should be brown in colour.

Got worried again. Last tuesday i also had light brown spot and it stopped for one week. Then yesterday which is also a tue, the spotting came back.

wonder how come i keep spotting on tuesday.

I'm on hormones pills 3x a day and hormone jabs once a week. Really wonder what is wrong.
 
hi darlings,

thanks for your advice and support.

after yesterday heart to heart talk with my parents and BF. i feel that what my dad Analysis is very sensable.

from the very beginning, when i was still suspecting that i might be pregnant, i already have the thot of aborting it and wanting to face it alone. but i decide to tell my Bf when the test came out positive.

frankly speaking, i have not thot for myself when my BF is so elated with the fact that he is going to be a father. but i am just not prepared. not mentally and physically nor emotionally.

i had a worse day, as i have to decide if i want to keep the baby or not.
wanting because baby is innocent, Bf and his family wants it. fear that i might not conceive again.
not wanting because i don;t think i am able to handle the stress. no idea how to face the rest of my family member. everyone is the family has very high expectation of me. i am very family oriented. i cant give up my family just becoz of the baby.

although my BF claim that he support every decision i made, i clearly know that giving up the baby = Jeopardizing our relationship.

i do agree with my dad that we abort this baby and observe this guy for another 1 or 2 years i fhe is still ever caring and faithful, they will be more assured that he will be a very good husband in the future.

ladies, i know aborting is not the solution to solve this problem but. i don't want to regret later in my life and it would be my child that is suffering. i don't want to depend on my parents nor his parents for financial matters like for the wedding and the baby.
although this is the hardest crossroad for me, i need to be responsible to myself and my family.

background info.
age: 21
BF age: 25
both just start working less than a year
no savings at all

i am sorry for bringing in bad news to you guys, somehow i wish for a miscarriage, maybe i will feel better.

thanks you you girls for the constant advice and support.
 
Qing.. we may all have our views due to religion or our own beliefs, but I guess it's your decision to make and we should respect that.

So think carefully, dun live in regret, and stick to your decision and be strong and move on..

part and parcel of growing up and coming into the real world...

take care
 
Hi Sally Cinnamon,

I wanted to post an excel spreadsheet with the EDD sorted chronologically, but it was too big to be attached...

could you help us sort the table in that manner for easier reference? Thanks!
 
Qing
sounds like u decided to give up the bb? well, watever decision u made, we will support u. i just hope watever decision u made, dont look back k.
 
can I ask the more experienced ones who are working moms too... when did you break the news to your employer?
 
Qing,
sad to hear about your story.
however, i feel its not easy to conceive, there are so many out there who wishes for a baby, tried means and ways, yet they are not granted this wish.
like me for an instance, right not, i am fighting a battle against my baby's will, hoping for bb to stay strong, to grow within me. The thought of losing bb is just so devastating and painful and i've shed countless tears on learning bb is not healthily growing now. Mine is different from your case, however, what i am trying to point out is, if we are granted one, we should do our best to safekeep it.

Should we decide to terminate the pregnancy, its for bb's wellbeing such that bb do not need to suffer later on in life. Its a great loss to us, but we are not given a choice!

If both of you love each other truely now, why is there a need to abort the baby, observe bf to see if he is husband material.This should not be done at expense of an innocent life.

Responsibility is the key word. Yes,I admire your responsibility towards yourself and family, how about your baby? If you truely are, details like wedding etc can be worked on.take it as a loan from your parents, and return in future once your financial stabilize.
responsibility includes protective sex.

I apologize if i sounds like lecturing.understand well i might be barred here.
I implore you to think twice.

take care and wish you all the best.
 
Hi do1nk,
I have not inform my employer yet.. planning to do so soon. at least give them some time to find temporary manpower.
 
jeanyard,
a little update of my baby edd on 03 jul 2008. hehe seem a lot of mummies edd on 3 jul 2008.

Went c gyane on sunday baby growing v well as doctor mention even though i have not being eating well. baby now 11 weeks growing at 3.5cm


all mum to be a little tip for your guys from my mum try to boil red dates , tong xin n wolfberry together drink it as normal plain water help your body to circulate blood more easily and of course MS seem to go away quite gd for me.

do1nk
In fact i break the news to my lady boss when i was spotting quite a lot the other time n was given mc for 3 days no choice to break the news.. but it always gd to tell ur boss early
 
jeanyard,

yes meant it for myself. cos knows sure will get GD again this round.

how come u cried everytime u poke? is it too painful for u?
 
hi Qing
Sorry to intrude on this thread, I am from June MTB ...

I'm very sorry to hear of your decision. I hope you have seriously considered all other alternatives. It is not as if both of you are only 15/16 and still schooling, which might make taking care of baby financially impossible. Both are working adults and marriageable age, and are able to take care of baby financially and provide a family if both are willing to give up the current lifestyle of clubbing, late nights etc
I hope you will not regret this in future. Please be careful which gynae you choose for this operation because the operation can scar you for life and might affect your ability to conceive again. Years down the road, when you are older and more mature, when your maternity clock starts ticking, will you think back on this decision and regret it?
I had a miscarriage earlier this year and was so glad to be given a second chance again. Though I have been hospitalised a few times already for this current pregnancy, I am still hoping baby will stay strong.
Please discuss with your bf too as he is also the father. Whatever your decision, I hope you will find peace and please take sexual precautions in future. If your mind is made up, please remember to see a responsible gynae to prevent any scarring to yourself. Take care gal
 
hi qing

i hope you can really reconsider this. you have made a mistake, don't try to cover up this mistake with another mistake. most pple will regret this when they are older and when they look back. don't subject yourself to that pain. there are alternatives. have the baby first but if you are not sure if the guy is the right one, and if your family is supportive, let them help you support the baby first.

OR you could give it up for adoption. there are a lot of infertile couples out there who will give anything to be able to love and take care of your baby.
 
hi qing,

whatever ur decision is, u cannot look back le okie ... but u are still young ....

do1nk/sally,

hahaaa me told my boss the moment me cfm i'm preggie (i tested b4 gg to work, 4 weeks ++) becos that day we were renovating our office .. so i nid to tell him to let me b examined from it ... (moving/packing of files/etc)... then me also trfing to another dept next mth n i also informed my bosses there ... lucky they are okie with it n will b employin a temp from jun'08 onwards ....


can side track abit ... who will b taking care of ur bb next time ???
 
Hi Piggy,

glad that your co is ok with it. am afriad to break news to my co cos the time gap quite close from my last pregnancy.
Me considering employing a maid,anyone have good recommendation?
 
mummies,

i m back from J&J sales. nothing much as compared to last yr.

items saw at J&J sales:
1. J&J wipes (pink packaging) - 3 pack for $9
2. J&J wipes (blue packaging) - 3 pack for $9
3. shower gel - different fragrance range from $6 to $9.80 for twin pack. sells individually
4. Netrogena items
5. Carefree panty liners & pads - scented 3 packs for $5 (20 pcs each)/carefree super long (unscented) twin pack 40pcs each with free pads/panty liner - $4.50/pack
6. Listerine cool mint twin pack 750ml/bottle - $15 per pack
7. Listerine bright & fresh twin pack 750ml/bottle - $17 per pack
8. shampoo - $5 per bottle (750ml)
9. J&J wipes (pink packaging) come in box - cant rmbr how much

all these which i can rmbr. spent > $300 for wipes, shampoo, listerine & shower gel, not only mine, helping others to buy too
 
Hi Qing,
very sad to hear of your story...whatever decision u decide, pls do not regret later..take care..

Hi do1nk,
I have informed my direct boss once I know i'm pregnant and I also reminded him not to disclose to anyone till I'm like abt 12 wks when my pregnancy is stable..& luckily he is a understanding boss..

Hi miracle tan,
mayb u want to call or visit your gynae to check everything is ok...so that u can b rest assured too...
 
Sally Cinnamon
Thanks for adding me to the list
happy.gif


Breaking preggie news to boss
For me, haven't told my boss yet as he has just gone on his holidays... wan him to have a good break :p. Intend to tell him when he is back. I've told my colleagues tho as my dept is rather small and we're quite close.

Qing
Sorry to hear about your situation but really hope that you'll consider your options very carefully.

Ceraine
Hope everything will work out fine for you and your bb.
 
ceraine

I thank you for your advice.

there isn't time for me to observe my BF and from what i see now, he is super caring becoz of the baby. and i won't know will he stay the same.

and somehow, i wish i can swap place with you. i truly know you wil be a good mother and your baby will know.

i know it is going to be tough but i don't wish to Jeopardize my baby future becoz i wan it now and later can't be able to provide with good life.

that is not what i wan for my baby, i don't want my baby to suffer with me. becoz of our irresponsbililty, the baby get to suffer.

it is also not what i want, i don wish to abort the baby. but to think on a long term. this might be the best solution. and becoz of this i have been crying every night. i hate myself for being so careless and now i hurt everyone so close to me.
 
All,

Thanks for your comforting words. I am not easy to conceive. If u follow my other postings in other forums, my 1st bb was IVF baby. Thus when I was pregnant 8mths after I delivered my 1st bb, I was elated. I really hope after having 1 child its easier to conceive another, altho after a miscarriage.

ceraine,

I understand what u are going thru now. Gynea said that my bb was not developing normally. Hence , instead of waiting for the foetus to die by itself, or keep dragging, we decided to terminate the pregnancy, cos we know bb will not turn out to be normal too. The heartbeat is way too slow, size is too small for its age too. Hang on now, when u still have hope. Hope for the best, but be prepared for whatever outcome there maybe . if the baby is meant to be yours, it will be resilent and stay thru..
 
hi july mummies

Can i join u gals ?

My Edd is 10 July 08. I am in my 10th weeks now. Baby was 2.58cm at 9th week.
My gynae is Dr Fong Yang and I will be delivering in MAH.

And this is my 2nd pregnancy, my 1st gal is now 15th months.
 
dor dor,
i 27 Dec also ok. depends on Jean lor. she will be on leave on 26 and 27. Happy anniversary~!
happy.gif


3DFamily,
tink should be central bah. Jean wanna shop for maternity clothes, now i can think of is Suntec lor.

Jean,
so wat time and where to meet aah?
 
Hi, mommies, loooong time never post already. already informed my immediate boss but haven't announce to other colleagues yet cos not showing yet..Now 10+weeks already, seeing gynae again end next week.
happy.gif


ceraine - sorry to hear about your loss. Take care.

miracle - I'd spotting all the way during 1st trimester for my 2nd one, despite being on hormone pills 3 times a day and having regular hormone jabs. So basically on MC to be on bedrest till 2nd trimester. Don't worry too much, just rest as much as you can
happy.gif


Qing - whatever decision you make, I hope everything works out well for you.
 
Hi Jmon,
Let me know ya when you all finally decide on a venue, most prob joining you gals for lunch only. still gotta work after that.
happy.gif


Hi lbt,
Welcome. same same.. my 1st gal turning 14+ months. Does she cling to you now? my gal seems to sense something, always cling to me nowadays.
 
hi delphine

thanks !
happy.gif


hmm i sense that she is slightly more glue to me as usual. When she is at my mum plc, she is close to my mum so I can relax a bit. Back home, she wants me for comfort and sleep. She still plays with her daddy. Phew !!

KarenP

oh rgd letting the bb falls asleep ... I used to train my gal to sleep on her own since birth.

What u can do is .. while carrying/patting the bb to sleep, if u notice that the bb is falling into deep sleep v soon, stop carrying/paatting. Let the bb go into deep sleep on her/his own.

THis trick works. My gal can sleep on her own at nite
no patting or carrying.
 
Hi 3D,

but u haf to tell em sooner or later .. y not tell em now then they can prepare a temp or wat ??? ooo u intend to employ a maid ?? but u "fang xin" the maid with ur bb alone at home ???
 
3D,
sure, will post the details here.

Qing,
i am sad to hear your decision. but no matter what, whether to keep or not to keep the baby, you have to be responsible for your decision. there's one thing which i cannot agree with your father which is to abort the baby then observe your BF for another 1-2 yrs.

hmmm, why should we sacrifice the baby just to observe the guy? so what if the guy is not the one you spend the rest of your life with eventually? isn't it unfair for the baby? i have a few frens who are single parents and are now happy with the kids w.o help from the other partners.

sorry for the harsh tone, it's just my opinion.
 
Hi Piggy,
My MIL is around so shouldnt be that bad.
actually including my 1st gal, my MIL have 4 kids to look after. think by employing a maid will ease her load.

Hi lbt,
yup, same for me, at my mother place, she will be close to my mother. at least can take a rest. try not to carry her too much, of cos there are time where i "xin ruan", she cry then i carry her lor.
happy.gif
 
hi 3Ds

oic.... wow 4 kids huh, then haf to employ a maid le ....

the rest of the mtb leh, ur bb next time will b taken care by who ????
me shld b my mom but i scare that she cant handle as she realli long long time never take care of small kids le so now wondering to leave with nanny or employ a maid or .....
 
hi delphine

i still carry my gal leh. and she is not very big size type so still ok. But cant carry her for long.. will feel tired after a while.

piggy

my mum will still takes care of my gal and new baby, but will get a maid to help her on the chores.

Is this ur first baby ? are u attending ante natal classes ? perhaps u can get ur mum to attend the classes with u ?
 
do1nk,

I told my colleagues about my pregnancy but yet to tell my immediate boss (cos no one likes her) but i think sooner or later the news will spread. Dun intend to tell her personally...anyway, time will tell haha......u can't hide from it after the 3rd mth especially for 2nd pregnancy. I think there's still ample of time to my delivery in aug, so dun see any problem of not letting her know earlier.

Qing,

I'm so sad with ur decision (i was tearing while reading ur post). Whatever it is, please consider carefully and dun live with regret thereafter. I thruly hope that u can keep the bb but ultimately the decision is urs.....take good care!

stumble_by,

can i ask u one qn (sorry if it's sensitive to u)? do u still felt nauseous when u know that bb is not growing well? just want to know that is suddenly ur nauseous go away, does that mean that the bb is not growing well.

lbt,

welcome and congrats......
 
SY,
ya y the pizza got beer? so funny where is the place next time i also wan go eat. hahaha


i just come back from my gynae i today 11 week liao almost same as Sereneyap my bb now is 3.69cm just now my gynae wan to let us hear the heart beat then she said the bb keep on moving very hard to detect so only can hear a while only..then she show me the eye the nose so fast can see liao meh? haha when she show me i also cant see clearly and also the hand and leg moving...
 
lbt/3D,

same here, my son is 15mths and he's 11kg. I still carry him but try to cut down. Yea, i realised that he sticks to me more since i'm preggie! wonder if they can sense it hor??


piggy,

i have no choice but to get a maid to look after my son
sad.gif
my mum is in m'sia and mil is still working so i have no one to turn to liao unless i send him to babysitter which i think it's a bit troublesome to fetch him in the morning & night.
with a maid at home, at least she can do the cooking (so dinner is settle) and some house chores. the price u pay for a maid and babysitter (daycare only) is about the same or in fact cheaper to get a maid. Of cos, getting a maid is more economical but the flip side is the trust u have for her...that's the most difficult part! i decided to get a maid (recommended by my colleague - she's the auntie of my colleague's maid) 3 mths b4 i deliver my 1st boy. I find her okay (cos i dun really bother of wut she does since there's nothing much to do with only me & hubby)but after i delivered i started to have a lot of worries (colleague said i had post natal blue...kanasai) if she's able to cope, will she ill-treat my bb, etc..... till now i'm still "bu fang xin" leaving her and my boy at home! i still call home 2~3 times a day to make sure that my boy is doing fine. i always envy those who have their own mother / mil to take care of their kids.....mmmmm dun think i have the chance
happy.gif

so my opinion to those who wants to get a maid to take care of their kids, try to get recommendation from frens and best is the maid had taken care of kids b4 - must get those soft hearted one.
 
sparks,
just now i also ask the gynea the gender she said next visit maybe can see cos now still cannot tel yet somemore bb keep moving and moving then the gynea never move then she ask me and hubby see bb move hand up and down...

sy how yr appointment?

my next appointment will be doing blood test ... 9/1/2008..
 
hi shay,

u know the cost for the daycare bbsit mah ????

hi lbt,

yup, is my 1st bb... ooo ya.. mayb mayb ... but cos she like to go out alot so i dun know wether she can "stay at home" n help me look after my bb for a full day (when i'm working)....
 
Hi Shay,
I think more or less leh cos before i tested positive, my gal already very clingy liao. some even say that they knows earlier than us just that did you manage to observe their change of behaviour.
happy.gif
 
is it true ?

my gals likes to lift out my shirt and play with my tummy. always tell her got bb but she dont understand leh ahah shall wait for a few more months.

piggy

in that case, u need to talk it out with a mum cos taking care of bb is not easy and need a lot of commitment from the caregiver.
 
hi Qing

i read abt ur story and in fact there is a lady in other thread with the same situation as you. She was brave enough to carry the bb to full term but gave up for adoption. She saved the life of the innocent bb and is kind enough to let childless couple enjoy parenthood. She knows she is not ready cos she is even younger than you and her bf is still in NS ! can you imagine ...

Well she was v sad on the day of the birth of bb cos I think she did not get to see the baby and it was taken away from her.

in any case, it is still you and your BF's decision. I agree with the gals, how can we sacrifice the bb to test your BF's sincerity ? THat's 2 different things.

In short, I think you are very blessed to have a child at such a young age. I wish I had deliver earlier as it is getting tiring to take care of my kid. I am 32 this year.

Hope I dont sound too harsh on you and I wish you all the best.
happy.gif
 
Qing,
I also dun kn what to said cos what i wan to said most of the other mummies here had already post.. but i hope no matter what u intend to do u hv to think carefully before you make any decision.. bb is innocent de... im sure if u wan to keep the bb u sure can be a good mummy and good wife de...
 
hi lbt,

ya lor ya lor... but think dun wanna stress her now ... cos my dad juz passed away abt 1yr++ so now she is like enjoying life like that ... gg out whenever she like as my dad used to stop her from gg out (hahaaaa)... me think when stomach showing then slowly slowly tell her ....
act she sometime okie with the idea then sometime she will feel sad like losing her "freedom" .. funni ...
 
piggy

u mean u havent tell ur mum ! ahah .. u are steady leh !

ya will feel so bad for making mum lose her freedom right ? but who knows, she may be glad to take care of ur child !
 
huh ... no, my mom knew me preggie le ... but me onli told her that she will b helpin me to take care of the bb but havent tell her "those commitment" for it ... heheheee

ya lor, cos me thinking she shld b enjoying life now.. ya lor me also think that mayb she will happi to look after bb cos she like bb alot de... i mean like playin with em ...
 


Hi all mummies,

Got a bad news to tell U all...i lost my baby today...

Sally, ple kindly remove my name fr the list. thks!
 
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