(2008/07) July 2008

MORNING!!!

We had an action packed weekend! went to Henderson waves after reading PB's blog and wow, it was fun!! then sun went ECP beach for sand play and it was fun!! hee.. both days, eboy took 4 hour nap in the afternoon ah! Hope the sun did him some good cos he's been sniffing for more than a week already!!!

hugs cellow. COunting down already, hope they get out of your house soon! So funny, all of us angry over your in laws finding permanent place in your house for their clothes!

staying with in-laws
yes, we all need our space so if we were to live together, we must have our space and privacy, AND the house must be MINE (i'll take the masterbed room), that makes a lot of difference. but that also means that we need to get a bigger place to stay and that means need a lot more $$$$ .. sigh. will see how it evolves.

Oh, PB, your tailbone still pain pain? rest more ok?


Sigh, DD, getting "caught" having lunch at RP brews trouble.. got a first taste last night, when now Mr Mich is taking some course at Suntec convention, and ask if I'd like to join him for lunch. Sure why not, i replied. Lets meet half way, i.e. citylink. So naturally Mr Mich's reply came as "suntec is probably nearer to republic plaza" (read: if you can go all the way to RP for lunch with mummies, why not to suntec to have lunch with me). damn petty hor! Grrrrr. some how, i could sense that coming... some how...
 


Mich
Yay glad you enjoyed Henderson Waves! Did you "ride the waves" with eboy? Hehe

Youpi
Oh, no we were rushing to avoid the rain. Another time! Caught a glimpse of it before and sure looks good!

There's going to be a jap dance performance at isetan scotts today and tomorrow 430. I sense a jap outing for poppy! Cos she's also been asking "why buildings shake in japan?"
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And. Thought this is the best place to confess this... I have reached the point in my life where I'm more at home at the basement of isetan scotts than the upper levels.

But seriously, lovely thinly sliced sukiyaki pork at $2.80!!! Sigh, hello auntiedom. Cannot deny it anymore.
 
pb,
i still have that doughtnut shaped cushion! you want to come and get fm me....? i m at office this week.

my hse vs their hse
i subtly hinted to my MIL one of the weekdays, think it ws Tue. told her to rest and not go and tidy up my dining table. oh no, she replies, this is also my home (zhe li ye shi wo jia) just like the home in MY is also your (meaning me: cellow, C1 and C2) home. no need to ke qi, she continues.
so in their minds, this is THEIR SG home already.

if i were to pack all their clothes into a vacuum bag or luggage bag in hall while they are gone, that would just invite another quarrel w Mr C. i can just sense it coming.... which would degenerate into a fight abt whose parents do more for the boys and whose parents did more for the hse renovations (definitely his, not mine) (FIL installed all the electric curcuits, also supervised the plastering, MIL helped to sandpaper and polish our bedroom doors.... i told you they are super competent!!! makes me look inept and lazy by comparison)

aside. another conversation starting w MIL's comment on the maid's increasing laziness (her opinion, not mine... again another small matter abt how maid any-o-how scrubs the towels) had me saying... and i cannot believe i m reduced to saying this....

"oh, i very xiaojie one, i dunno how to do hsework (and check that maid scrubs towels properly), i only know how to earn money"

i can tell she was taken aback. this is a not so subtle reminder who is putting food on the table. and whose money went onto their holiday to perth.

i m so petty la.
these kind of words come out only in the ILs' presence.

SOOOOOOO. this is how i console myself. in the long run, they will grow older, less mobile, and hence come to SG less. in the long run, C1 and C2 will have more activities, go to school and I dun have to extend my stay for CNY, nor go back another week for mid year harvest festival. in the long run!

pump time.

long term battle plan will be hatched while i pump.
 
Cellow,
I'm still smiling at your xiaojie sentence.
How about you start to take over Mr C's wardrobe with C1 and C2's clothes? Then eventually when he starts complaining about the lack of space, then say "No choice la. No space liao mah. Or can we just vacuum pack your parents clothes while they are away to save space?"
*bats innocent eyes*
 
bbp,
*bats innocent eyes right back*
hehe, i am smiling at my own comeback too. however, mark my words, my MIL is the master of the sarcastic comeback when she chooses.

example.
Mr C is loitering around and we are rushing to get ready for C2's bday bash last Sat. the bathroom is finally free. i ask Mr C to shower several times, he says ok several times AND remains glued to the computer screen.

MIL comments to Mr C while she is bz cutting fresh fruits for the buffet dinner (i m also cutting along w her) "wah the bathroom door must be v small, you klkk in and out so many times already, but you are still outside. must really change the bathroom door"

Mr C laughs and says to me "see, i definitely have to go and shower now bcz of the way my mum says it"

so i dun push her too far, lest she turns the sarcastic-comeback spotlight on me. she hasnt done so at all, so far.


have cleared out my mind, and a battle plan is in place. now just need time.

sometimes i think i m very bad la. i use them to scold Mr C, and now that he is better, i want them to pack up and GO-GO-GO.

luckily they dun stay w me long term.
gee, i m single handedly flooding this thread w my IL complaints la.

mich,
yes think seriously abt the moving in w ILs.
even little things like the maid's way of doing hsework also bugs me lor. and i *know* tis a minor thing.

pb,
have you watching a lot of the tv footage?
i have been very ostrich abt this whole japan earthquake and keeping C1 away fm the TV when the news is on. not consciously... he doesnt watch much TV anyway, bcz Mr C and I dun.
 
Hi, hi.. Some advise..

Just renewed my maid's work permit. Those that have similar experience, do you give them any bonus after 2 yrs?

My maid is not going home, should I be giving her cash in lieu of air tickets? And now that she's having off days, do I make her buy her own ezlink card?

I didn't know now the maids' starting pay is so high. New philippines maid is about $450 with off days after 6 mths. Woa can faint.. She started with $350 with no off days 2 yrs ago. How much increment is reasonable with an off day now huh? She's reliable so I'm keeping her.
 
cellow
actually no. have been very ostrich about it too and also don't watch tv at home (except DVDs). but when poppy didn't want to eat i said 'there are alot of children in japan who don't have anything to eat ....' and that started it. it was one of those 'i am turning into my mother' moments
 
pb,
oh. well i imagine that sentence would come out fm my mouth one day too. so far, i have been successfully swallowing it, haha.
bcz the one time i tried it, C1 just looked blankly at me, as if to say 'wat's that got to do with the yucky thing you are forcing me to eat' :D

hannahi,
bonus is up to you, if you think she is good, then a month or 2 to motivate her. but must make sure to stress the bonus is based on past work prfmce and given at your discretion etc etc. cash in lieu of air tickets is fair, yes make her buy her own ezlink card to get around on her off days. any doubts, talk to the agent, get them in the act to brainwash her also.... bcz sometimes only employer talk to maid ha, she thinks we are just being v ngeow. agent talk to them, different, can give them some real life comparisons.
i just increased my maid's wages from 350 to 380. the 1 off day is contracted for when i changed maid in Aug 2010. to be fair to her. after all, she reads the papers too.
 
hello mummies,

Jus back frm gynae.. Slight bleedin and dilation, may deliver next week. Im only 34weeks, baby abt 2.3kg.. Hopefully his lungs are matured liao..
Very kan cheong... I don feel ready yet and im not done w my shoppin... And i cant walk
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Cellow
Breathe easy.. Dont let her get to ur head...

Pb,
U must really take care hor.. Esp when u stil wanna get preggie.. Must ensure it recover fully......
Btw, i luv isetan supermarket, way before i got kayden... So i have always been an auntie..

Hannah,
So ex! I givin my maid 350 only.. I don wanna increase her pay mthly, prefer to give bonus based on performance.. If i increase and she perform badly, then i cant justify..
 
dustee,
did you zoom in or that's how big the frog balloon is?? hahaha....

glad i scrolled all the way down and saw this.. sure made my day ending on a lighter note. son started coughing on fri nite and last night he was wheezing so badly till i thought better to bring him to KK... all by myself... at 12+... came home after 4+... doc said one step away from full asthma... glad i brought him to the hospital.. he's still wheezing the whole of today... hopefully he'll feel much better tomorrow...

Cellow,
i know it's not easy with ils staying with you. but i've come to accepting my mil and more so after she's been great help babysitting her grandson and helping out with the house chores during her off days. just remember that they do what they do with good intentions and anything else is just forgetfulness or mindlessness... afterall, your ils are not here on permanent basis..

all older folks always have something to complain about the maid no matter how good the maid is. i used to tell my folks at home, as long as helper is taking good care of my son, i'm willing to close both eyes to her not so up to standard in housekeeping. good that your mil can help you lecture mr. c.... my hb lectures his mom more than she dares to lecture him... so, you're luckier that at least you have someone to talk to mr. c for you... i can only complain to my mil and she'll agree that her son is impatient and just shrug her shoulders...

Michelle,
you're right... it must be the situation that your ils are staying with you in your house rather than the other way around... makes a lot of difference. and if you're FTWM, then ils staying with you will have lesser frictions compared to if you're SAHM and having to face your ils every waking hour. if you're really comfortable with your ils staying with you, i'm sure the convenience and family bonding will make if worth any little hiccups along the way. that's my personal take la... good luck.

Hannah,
if maid not going home, then you have to give her cash in lieu.. this was stated in my contract with my previous helper. as for increment, heard from my mum, it's usually from $20 to $50... depending on how satisfied you are with your maid's work. maybe a token increment plus end of contract bonus? as for ezlink card, my helper bought her own. but i top up for her a couple of times when she had to pick my son up from morning child care.. that lasted only a month or so.

smiggle,
rest rest rest...relax and rest... shopping can be done after your confinement...
happy.gif
 
Michelle
Agree with the rest. Personal space is a must. At least now if anything u still have ur own hse to run back to, scream in, do watever you want without thinking if anyone will catch you doing. N if u on long leave how?? hehe
Xiang jian rong yi xiang chu nan.
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Maybe you can find those places where they sort of split the place up into 2 hse. So stay together but still have own spaces.

PB
Hw is thurs?? If you dun wanna go out to orchard I can meet you at the Mrt station n pass you through the gate.
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Dustee
the frog is cute still lah hehe. Oh n can reuse u know?? Jus insert a straw in the opening n press all the air out so u can fold n keep.
N bring to any place with helium tank to pump when u want it. Normally is $2 per pump for that.
See how auntie I become now.....hahaha

Cellow
*pat pat* Dun let it affect u so much lah I think cos they are here for quite long so getting on your nerves already.

Agree with DD lor even own family if too long I will get irritated as well. The other time my parents almost moved in with me cos of some problems n I was not looking forward at all cos I know the kids will definately be spoilt even if it is for 3-6 mths. And imagine how much effort I have to make to keep the kids back in track again. Lucky didn't have to in the end.
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Steph
Hope your son gets better real soon
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smiggle
Time for online shopping!!!! hahaha
 
Hi Dor ok thurs can! Anything except 330-430 cos that's my pick pop up time. Sms ok?

Steph
Oh no. Hope E gets better soon! Coughing and wheezing? That's yucky
sad.gif
what did doc prescribe? And how is E? Still energetic and bouncing off walls?

Mich
How is your temper? I was just thinking - my own temper is quite bad. And I need to flare up once in a while or I will go crazy. I would go even crazier if I had to control all that anger and quarrel in hushed tones if ILs stayed with me. Ah and esp for me, it would suck big time if my MIL and BB and poppy start chattering away in french and plot against me. In my own house. I shudder at the thought.

But yes of course, having family around sure would be a big help. Steph brought up a really good point. We feel it the most when we see people in the family leave their kids with the family with a "toodaloo! We're off on a date!"

However isn't it already working out well with your ILs popping over everyday? Or has that changed?
 
C1 is now officially sick. Fever started ystday afternoon. Mr C and I slept w him last night. Poor boy's voice is hoarse, fever reached a high of 38.5deg C. Just checked out from PD and into the office. The ILs went to me to the PD so that MIL talks to the PD directly, and they are able to bring C1 back home while I pop into the offc to get some work done.

After waking up 5x from midnight to 2am, I went to get Profen fm the fridge and heard Mr C shout at C1. I dunno if C1 kena whacked anot. I ran ... no flew... back to the room and asked him (rather calmly, I must say) 'do you know wat you are doing, shouting at a sick child....'. I was sleeping on the floor while Mr C slept on the bed w C1. Told Mr C to go out of the room to sleep if he cannot tahan.

I have changed my mental state abt this and now accept that Mr C's temper is truly vile when his sleep is disturbed or he has stress at work.

PB,
shudder with you on BB, MIL and poppy plotting things in french. in your own hse. i so get that bcz my teochew is half past six, so i am able to understd wat Mr C, MIL and FIL are talking abt less thatn half the time. and then only when i m concentrating. teochew lessons, anyone?
No way can I stay w ILs, heck I cannot stay w my own parents too.
Quarrel in hushed tones ah. Well admist the current luan situation, I found my centre of peace. I do not quarrel now.... I treat Mr C as another naughty child who needs discipline.

When the storm passes, I will tell him this kinda of thing takes up a lot of my energy... energy that can be better spent on... ***

dustee,
That is an uber cute frog
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steph,
are you still working half days? hope E is better and more energetic today. sayang. both abt E and Mr Steph. you can call me to vent if irritated by Mr Steph.

smiggle,
i second that - online shopping is oh so convenient!
happy.gif
rest well. fingers crossed that #2's lungs have matured.
 
Cellow,
Oh gosh, did the PD manage to diagnose the problem? Is it the Influenza A bug as well? Quick question, does your thermometer measure the forehead or the ear? Was wondering why Declan's temperature always shoots up to 39plus... so much so that I consider 38plus a mild fever and normally don't give him paracetamol unless at night so to give him a better sleep. Anyway, what me and Mr bbp did was to take turns to sleep in another room. We would rotate nights. Seems to work for us... oh shoots, just realised why it won't work for you... cos you got C2. Alamak. *piaks blur forehead*

PB,
Aye, you may start with quarreling in hushed tones at first. But after 3 years of hushed quarreling, I no longer care. It's gloves off when I fight. Better still if the ILs get wind of the fact that we're quarreling BECAUSE of THEM.
 
Smiggle,

Hope everything wil go smoothly for you. Wat shopping do you need to do? baby's stuff? hubby can buy them? Not sure if taka fair is still on though.

I have some spare stuff - medela nipple cream (brand new), blue egg milk bags (brand new) and Detinox colic drops (also brand new). PM me if u need any of these. I can drop them off your place.
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Dustee,

i hate real frogs. But the frog balloon is cute! hehehe..someting different.
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Cellow,

pat pat... 1 more week 1 more week.. C2 1 yr old on 4th April rite? wah..so fast..little boy is ONE!
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cin,

u still going to sushi land? I cancelled mine.
sad.gif
dun feel safe with all the radiation around. hiaz..now thinking of going aussie land.
 
Cellow
Can't be helped since it's your FIL. It doesn't happen all the time right? It happens all the time at my place and the one who is doing it is Mr SD!! Evertime Emma is about to fall asleep he would just go inside and go to the toilet *angry* It's not like there isn't any other toilet outside. He doesn't know how hard it is to get Emma to sleep. One of these days I must get him to accompany Emma to sleep and in the middle of it I should go inside. Haiz.. but I pity Emma for not being able to sleep and has less sleep time because of that.
Aiya my home is practically my husband's family home lor... even one of my bro in law's friend can tompang 1 night (of coz with my bro in law around). Haiz. And our junior master bedroom is reserved for my MIL only. No one is allowed to use it even if MIL is not around. (read: SD's family come for holiday must stay in other room or living room). My mum stays in the guest room. If one of my in laws come to visit, my mum had to move to my girls' room until they're gone. Hmmph. lucky they only come once in a while and nowadays my MIL dun stay at my place for long. She used to stay here for 3-4 months in a row. My MIL dun interfere with household or my family life, it's just that she's a big baby which I need to take care of whenever she's staying at my place.

Sending getting well vibes to C1!

Michelle
Hahaha.. that's why sometimes must have lunch with Mr. Mich.

Cheesecake
On Sunday I went to Liang Court supermarket. Guess what they have this Japanese cheesecake in a cup. small cup only but costs $4.7. But it really taste heavenly!! It's the best Cheesecake I've ever eaten. I should go again and eat hehe..
http://www.liangcourt.com.sg/liang-court/happenings-details.aspx?id=ORsoAYucF4tG19hvoOfrZA%3d%3d&type=highlights

Hannah
I would give my Maid 1 month salary bonus every year plus an increment of between 10-20 dollars for my 1st helper. My second helper now is on a 2 year contract, so if she's doing a good job I will give her 1 month salary. I bought EZ link for her for first time only, after that she has to refil herself. same goes for sim card. 1 year off day per month, if not used, I'll prorate her salary and pay her.

Smiggle
Take care! I delivered at 38 weeks and the doc gave me injection a week before to make the lungs mature. Hope everything will go smoothly!

Dustee
Hehe that's a cute frog keke. I don't mind that one, just not the real one pls!

Steph
Take care and hope your son is recovering well soon.
Same with me.. I emphasis on taking care of my kids well and the cleanliness of the home - I just shut one eye. My mum got complains on the helper, but ever since I let her manage her fully, she's happier and helper also not so confused on which order to take.
 
Cellow,
speedy recovery to C1... could the fever be caused by infected throat? i slept on the floor in son's room when he was sick... i usually don't let him near his daddy coz one is cranky, and the other is grouchy...

teochew lessons? come come free lessons
happy.gif
... very easy one!... i've officially quit my job. i've been SAHM for the past 3 weeks now... and seriously, now that i'm comfortable staying at home, i'm kinda not into the idea of getting another job... hehe... i like your "energy better spent on ***".... are we on the right track with that??
 
Dustee,
E frog is cute.. A refreshing change frm e usual animals...

Cellow
Aiyo,short temper husband is not a good excuse to scold a sick child...he still too young to understand, sometimes they feel very difficult when sick.. And they dunno how to tell us...
It happens to kayden every mth..
Ur hubby is lucky that c1 is not sick often..

Batgirl
Thks for ur offer, imonly lacking a cot mattress, wash cloth and some cotton wool.. I think..maybe newborn clothes, cos kayden was already three mths when he was discharged..
 
smiggle,

No Problem!
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at least the shopping not a lot la... still manageable.

Lactation Consultant,

Anybody got recommendations or contacts to good LC? My friend is suffering from blocked ducts since last Thursday and the LC at NUH cannot clear it. she is getting desperate, so anybody with recommendations, please let me know.. TIA!
 
steph, pb,
*** are those little stars that twinkle at you, when you reach the chapter end of an old fashioned romance novel. haha.

steph,
i realise that i do not have your hp no.... PM me?

smiggle,
i consider myself v lucky that C1 is not often sick. kayden sick every month?! haiiiiyoooor. difficult to take care of a sick child.
 
batgirl,
i used to go to Doris Fok... but she works at NUH leh, so maybe that is the same person that your fren went to?
 
sd chick
At 38 weeks, lungs shld have matured rite? Why stil need e jab? It was tat jab which caused me to go into coma...

Batgirl,
Ya, not alot, but my hubby useless in shoppin.. Only can carry...
Last time, i went kkh, forgot e name though.. But it was cheap..

Pb,
My cot is 23 by 47... U sure u wanna lend me e cot? It will be a loan for a yr leh... Color doesnt matter... I just bought a pink towel for didi... Ah yes, stil cant decide on e his name.
 
cellow,

she saw Sister Wong at NUH. After 2 days of "treatment: she asked my fren to go back on Friday to join a support group to see if anybody can help with the blocked duct issue???!! Anyway, she called Sister Kang at Mt A who advised her to see a doctor and do an ultrasound scan since her previous LC could not do anything about the blocked ducts. hope it will turnout well.
 
thank you mommies, son's wheezing seems "lighter" today but still coughing with a lot of phlegm... doc prescribed steroid every morning but didn't say when to stop...shd i still be giving it to him? heard not good for young children right? i saw how it was like complimentary drink for all the kids who were at kk for similar symptoms as my boy... weird... machiam standard procedure like that...

cellow,
tell me about it... one of the reason why i quit my job... my boy same as smiggle's boy... sick every month...

Re:Dilemma
need your opinions on whether to sell my car now that i'm not working and can't afford the instalment on my own. hb offered to pay for the car but if we sell it, we'd save around $10k and pocket some more after paying off the balance hire purchase loan. of coz the extra money would be my pocket money for as long as i can stretch every dollar. but if we don't sell the car, although hb can afford to pay for everything, i'd be broke in no time... from a selfish point of view, i'd really want to sell the car... aiyoh... no wonder my hair turning white... decisions after decisions... and none easier... help!! thanks in advance...
 
mummies
got some problem accessing the thread. need to click the saved link to access..

steph
glad that he is better. i had the same dilemma before also. jh was also prescribed steriods when younger. sometimes really no choice. sometimes the pro outweigh the cons so it may be necessary.

do u need the car? what will be the main reason for keeping the car?

batgirl
i used to go to yen ping at KKH but she's not working the last time i tried to go to her. I used to get blocked ducts a lot and she is very good at clearing it. sometimes if it still cannot be cleared, it may be becos your fren needs some medication. it helps if u take danzen ( i think spell like that) can get at pharmacy. it helps to bring down swelling. and if worse come to worse, i will take a course of antibiotics. if not the blocked ducts come back even after LC clears.

smiggle
i know that some doc will still give u jab at 38 weeks. my fren's doc gave her at 38 weeks still. 2 jabs somemore.

jx used to fall sick a lot and every month when she first started sch. now it's better. maybe reach some sort of equilibrium. she's taking multi vit, fish oil and probiotics.
 
SY,
Oh ya, wanted to ask you. What's the difference between the Child's Life Colostrum and Nature Way's Probiotics? Cos the Child's Life Colostrum also got probiotics liao leh.
JX doesn't take Sambucus?
 
Good morning mummies. Feeling sucky this morning. a whole chain of event happening at home *sigh*

what will you do if your maid is pretty good with housework and taking care of general stuff but is immature and hence will tend to quarrel with xun gal (amazing right? taking what a kid says to heart!) and dun quite respect my mum. We did try to look for a new maid but cant quite find someone we like so shleved that idea. We woke up this mroning and say a black faced maid. I asked her if there is anything wrong and she kind of shouted back (!!) no nothing wrong. So obviously there is something wrong. I called my mum and she told me that the maid quarrelled with xun gal yesterday.
Me and hub knows that we cannot leave xun gal with the maid alone because most prob xun gal will irritate the hell out of my maid.
 
jace
sayang sayang i think it's more important that helper is good with kids. housework is secondary. just out of curiousity - what does she quarrel with xun gal about?

steph
wow you went to the hosp alone in the middle of the night? sayang you! must be so tired.

batgirl
i went to dr wong boi boi at TMC. but never got a free milo haha (feel cheated!!!)

steph
personally i think the public transport system in SG is superb. and since i'm a very kanchiong kind of driver (i hate driving! it's so stressful!), i don't think i would be able to have proper conversations with poppy while driving. but when we're on the bus or train together, we can do all kinds of things like play "i spy" or sing.

however when she sometimes want to roll on the floor of the train, i cannot help but be tempted with the idea of her strapped into a car seat :p
 
PB it went like this
xun "I dun like u"
maid "U think I like you? I also dun like u"
xun spit at maid (!!) - and kanna scolded and beat by my mum; said sorry to maid too
maid after that damn irritated with xun gal didnt want to help clean her up after poo.
Maid "Go ask mama to help you clean la. Since you dun like me!"
Maid's tone was like shouting at xun gal. When we asked xun why she spit at maid, she said because maid said she dun like her.

2nd incident in the afternoon
dunno what happened my mum heard maid shouting at xun "you dont think I dont dare to beat u!"

sigh .. also dunno where xun gal learn to spit at people. but then again, she is a kid and needs to be taught. so why go to the same level and shout back or quarrel with the kid? maid is 24 YO xun is only 2.5 YO! i think my maid is quite immature
 
jacelyn,
haiyoor, sayang sayang. i so get your xin fan!
i also dunno what to say except change maid. must be good with xun gal and mini xun.

wat abt sitting maid down in the meantime? ask her seriously if she wants to be sent back home. tell her v easy for you one, just click onto MOM website and cancel her work permit. [you must have backup plan for childcare if she really calls your bluff]
then tell her what you just shared w us - she is an adult, xun gal is a child. as the mother, you will teach xun gal. but the maid must also do her part by not saying 'i dun like you' comments to xun gal.

MIL has problems w the way my maid does hsework, but i managed to get her to concede that this maid does look after C1 and C2 well. plus she doesnt force C1 to do anything. [case in point: brushing teeth has been off the radar since the ILs are here... my aunt will 'force' C1 to brush teethw hen the boys are w her, the maid wont discipline for me - of course!!!]

steph,
sell sell sell! or rather as SY says, think seriously why you want to keep the car. public transport works well w C1. in fact, he thinks MRT rides are so much more fun than being in a car seat....

pb,
you are v patient! how do you keep poppy from rolling on floor? i have a new headache now. C1 threw chairs (plastic stools) to the ground when he ws at home whole day ystday... guess he was bored of staying at home. i tell myself it will pass when his sickness (and home confinement) passes. sigh.

m i turning into a ci mu duo bai er?

bust up with ILs last night
i went home early ystday expressely to have show down w them. i started off w saying i m very tired and v troubled, even you as the parents cannot even talk sense into your son to love his son, what do u expect me to do.
did the grab my son and run out of the house stunt while crying big tears.

aside: i wasnt feeling as distraught as i probably looked la.... in my centre, i needed to do this to pressure my ILs into not siding w Mr C. they ACTUALLY told me to bring C1 away from Mr C when Mr C loses his temper, wait till Mr C calms down. wah biang. everything also ask me to do..... if that is not siding w Mr C, i dun know wat is.
I just want Mr C to be patient with C1. Separating the 2 of them is not a solution for every single incident. Moreover wat if I m occupied w C2, or Mr C loses temper w C1 when I m in a work telecon? I stop everything to separate them ah. Ridiculous.

So back to the bust up.
MIL came to me while I was sitting on the steps outside my home. Said she will talk to Mr C.

I think hor... this is my analysis of the situation... bcz Mr C is still their son, they condone him. He regresses into what i call spoilt-brat behaviours when they are around. Ignores C1 and C2 and spends his time on the computer except when tis time to play, passes them to his parents (or me!!) when the boys get difficult.

I just want them to GO-GO-GO NOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWW.
So that I get my adult Mr C back.

till Sunday.......................
 
Cellow sigh it is a tough one now because *drum roll* my sis maid ran away 2-3 weeks back so now my maid is like the only other one around beside my mum so we kind of cannot do it now .. maybe she knows so she thinks she is king/queen now. the new maid will come i think 1-2 weeks time.
the problem with her is she is very temperamental. so i conclude this with the level of maturity as well.
so many things in my mind. feel like it is gg to burst. why cant i just have a life of certainty??! the only certainty in my life is changes! arrrrgh
 
Hi Jace
From my experience, if your kid doesn't like the helper and the helper is temperamental, it is best to let her go and find a new one. There must be a reason why Xun didn't like her. You'll never know what she'll do to your kid later on, even when you're home. Emma didn't like my 2nd helper and although she's good with work, the helper was always at odds with my mom. She keep blaming Emma for other things and in the end I quickly send her home. BTW, is your maid Indonesian? Just for info, Indonesian finds it very offensive being spit on, even by kids. That's may be the reason why she was very angry.

Tell your helper that XUN is very important to your family and if she can't deal with her properly she just have to go.
 
Steph
taking taxi around is still kinda cheaper than keeping a car, so if you plan on being sahm for a while longer, than think about selling. but no point selling now, if after 3 months you decide to go back to work (and job is at location you need a car for!)

and then also depends a lot on your home location. some pple live near mrt and bus stops, so easy to get around. some pple live a bit further away from public transport, so then having a car is a boon for them.

jace
the moment you don't feel safe leaving xun gal alone with the helper, means it's time to let her go and find another one. i mean, it's not so much the housework but to have an extra caregiver to help with the kids right? pat pat pat. been a tough few months for you !!!!

construction all around
sigh. another neighbouring house (across from il's house) is being torn down and rebuilt. the noise and dust levels have gone up again. sigh. at the rate the houses are being sold here and torn down and rebuilt, the property and construction market is really thriving.

cellow
yes the boys will always be boys. next time even when C1 is adult, around you he will behave like your boy. hang in there.
 
sayang sayang jace
like cellow says, talk to her calmly and remind her that xun gal is just a child and doesn't know what she's doing. but the helper is not family, and disciplining bu lun dao ta!

cellow
it sounds very frustrating but i think i agree with your ILs - the best thing to do is to keep Mr C and C1 separated (you gotta keep 'em separated! <- remember the song?) when Mr C is in a bad mood. for C1's sake. then at the right moment, bring it up to Mr C again. try to sweet talk him and tell him C1 must learn that his father loves him no matter what, and does not get the feeling that he is being yelled at for not reason. what if it affects him psychologically in future? (just to scare Mr C?)

i'm patient? oh thank you. i really don't deserve that. i am NOT patient. perhaps now i have no choice but to be a bit more patient because i can't pick poppy up (last time when she roll on the floor i just pick her and go). so now i have to coax. BB says i'm too soft hearted. if she doesnt' want to eat i will still continue trying to feed, but i am seriously boiling inside (sometimes mount PB erupts too). i suppose that could be called "persistent". but "patient"? err, bu gan dang!!

dustee
yikes first youpi's, now your house got construction and reno going on? that's yucky.

how's your bubble tea strike coming along? i so want a coffee now. my eyes are getting glazed just thinking that my next coffee is more than a month away.
 
Jace,
I second everybody. Must find someone that you feel is good with the kids, becos that's MOST important and irreplaceable. Everything else is secondary (someone said that before liao I know).
Case in point: My ILs maid. She's quite bad with housework, and hopeless with ironing. But I think everyone puts up with it becos they can see that she really cares for Declan. She even mimics our teachings eg getting Declan to ask for things nicely and even knows how to sing 小星星！
 
Jace, you only keep someone with a heart. You are bothered by it, cos you feel there is something wrong about it! so why keep her? if a person staying in your house, has no heart with your family members, i say, DON'T KEEP HER! housework i can overlook, cooking i can overlook. Attitude, personality, and HEART is top priority. She needs you more than you need her, always maintain that mindset. Heck, spend $50 a day for a temp helper to help with housework for two weeks till new maid comes along.. really, she needs you MORE than you need her!!!!! Hope things sort out for you soon!

Cellow, ah ha, you may be spot on about the fact that once IL outta the house, Mr C will return... that IS the root of the problem, so Sunday, pls pls pls come earlier for Cellow!
 
next tues the speech therapist asked that I sit in at the session. It starts at 5pm, that means I will need to leave office at 4.30.. I wonder how I should "open my mouth" to ask for early release from my boss, considering we are already short-handed with a million deadlines to meet.... *torn*
 
Hello! wow u mummies are great! i will talk to hubby again. we kind of have this issue on off for a while. so the tot of changing her keep coming back. then next day she is fine and talk nicely to xun gal. the next, she might be black face. so we dun really know when she will do something bad .. u all really make my day better. just reading all these posts! =D

SD, she is from myanmar ... not sure if it is the same as indon
 
bbp
i dunno what's the exact difference btwn the 2 but jx dun take childlife cos she dun like the taste. so she takes only the probiotics.

Jac
what did they quarrel abt? actually your mum will be ard to look after the maid also right? i got a fren who has this problem also. her maid likes to quarrel with her son over small things. but lucky her mil ard to help take care of the kids. but i think to show a black face even the next morn seems a bit exaggerated....

seems like she's really immature....last time my maid will cry when my boy said he dun like her. she's a mother u know. i told her he's just a small kid how can u believe everything he says? but how come she minds the fact that xun says she dun like her? funny lor.

cellow
when my hb not in good mood, i tend to ask the kids to siam him. though it's not the most ideal solution to keep them apart, but it's the most practical. everyone needs space to cool down. if the reverse happen, your hb will also do the same thing right, ask the kids to siam u...so i guess what your mil says is also not wrong.

give them a few more years. last time my mil always side with my hb but over the years she can see for herself and now she will side more with what i say....just keep communicating with them and things will swing in yoru favor. sometimes we still need them to manage their sons....

michelle
your new job keeping u very busy??
 
cellow,
yes yes to SY asking her kids to siam their daddy when he's not in a good mood. i've been teaching my boy to "don't disturb your daddy... later he cane you..." and when daddy says cane, he WILL cane... no empty threats from daddy and son knows that. so sometimes he will listen to me and leave the daddy alone. but if son is in his defiant mood, like EVERY hour this whole week, he will hack care and turn the whole place upside down...

Jac,
the Myanmese i know are usually very gentle and mild mannered. i'm actually quite surprised that you said your temperamental maid is a Myanmese... does she have any kids herself? or is her family back in Myanmar giving her problems?

Re: Monkeying around
can i poll something here? Are your child climbing up furniture, like chairs and beds, and jumping around recently?? my son has been doing just that for the past week... really like a monkey... think i better start singing the 5 little monkeys song again... to remind him about falling down and bump his head... i'm the one with a headache the whole day today....

Re: Car
mommies, the main reason we're keeping the car is that my hb thinks that i'll not get used to the public transport since i've been driving for almost 2 decades and i get very bad motion sickness whenever i'm the passenger. oh well, since he wants to take over the car, i suppose i can ask him for some pocket money for ME hehe...

Poppy,
yup... i drove son to KK alone just after 12mn.. hb &amp; mil had to work the next day so didn't want to wake them up... anyway, i'm already quite familiar about what they will do son when we're in the hospital so i guess that helped, not a good thing though...

Michelle,
you can apply for work leave right? if boss ask reason for taking leave then you tell him, maybe he can grant you an hour off or something... since you mentioned you're short handed in the office... good luck
 
Cellow
I have to agree that the easiest way is to bring C1 away from ur hubby when he is not in the mood. Unless you can talk sense to him n ask him to automatically walk away from C1. Understand your fustration at being the 1 to have to handle everything but.......that's why we are the mother n the ones who have to carry bbs to term. Imagine if our hubbies were to do it.....kaoz......hahaha

btw....does it help if you tell ur hubby straight to his face what he is like and how he behaves like a child younger then C1 when his parents r around??

Oh and if my hubby starts shouting at the kids too much, I will tell him to back off. Since he can't control himself then I will have to help him.
happy.gif

I will speak in dialect(so the kids dun understand) and do it in normal tone while continuing what I am doing(not looking at them). Like ask him "Why do you have to keep shouting at him" or ask him "Do u think he is still listening/Does he listen when you shout?"

Steph
My girl doesn't climb ard so much at home but if at my dad place she will behave like a monkey n climb everything. N she is consider mild already so boys will be more active.
 
Know something funny??

I tot n tot over why I feel I am feeling weird. Not as <strike>happy</strike> satisfied as I used to be.
And came to the conclusion that I am actually feeling normal. Normal as in fine not sick or getting depressed, jus normal like everyone else.

And the pass few yrs are actually "happy hormone" infused.
happy.gif

Cos I was preg with D n we get the glow n the feel good hormones right? Then breastfeeding all the way (and we get the good happy hormones again) till I stop n tadah preg again. So again good vibes n then breastfeeding again all the way n....hey the happy good hormones got to run out sometime right. Breastfeeding more then 2 years......the good vibes must have run out.
And so....now....I dun have any special "drug" in my body that is making me high anymore. And I become the normal human bugged by everyday life and stress.

Hmmmm do I sound logical somehow?? Time for another baby?? I think I rather buy more things that make me happy....hahaha
 


pb
well, giving up bubble tea is supposed to be a sacrifice, an exercise in self-denial to bring me closer to God. but i must admit i'm going about it wrongly. i'm still enjoying other things like ice-cream, soft drinks etc. so i'm not really suffering so much. it is easy to give up tv too, coz frankly, the books are more interesting and i have a stack to catch up with!

so... i suppose you are suffering more : P
 
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