(2008/07) July 2008

bbp
i have my own grouses for today too. mil's bday.... and then my hb's ex sends flowers to her.

sigh. first things first, my hb doesn't care a hoot about his ex anymore ("ex means ex means ex"). they only stay in touch due to mutual friends (they were jc classmates) BUT i did give him permission to invite her for our wedding. (that was before i knew how much my mil loved this ex)

so, the thing is, i don't worry about my hb having feelings for this ex anymore. BUT I"M STILL UPSET AT ANY MENTION OF HER by my mil.

is this normal? or am i being somehow too petty over this? does anybody else have mils who bring up their hb's exes?
 


i guess i have the answer to my own qn. it's really coz my mil loves this ex so much. every thing she does is a virtue. (my mil will say "she don't wear makeup, very unpretentious like me" ... "she's very outgoing, like me") every thing i do is not so virtuous.

even my hb's older bro and his wife stays in touch with this ex. i *hate* getting emails from the bro with my email add next to the ex's email add.....

sigh. i guess i don't dislike the ex (i think she's just the kind of innocent-blur type). i just am too aware of her "standing" in this family even though she's not married into this family (like i am) and i am also just too aware that my mil may never accept me like she accepts this girl.

sigh.

some day, i know some day, i will not always have to live under this roof of judgement and disapproval.
 
dustee,
My turn to pat you after getting Cellow's pat.
"Does anybody else have mils who bring up their hb's exes?"
My answer to that: Does anybody else have mils who communicate via post-its? *grins*
We both need to get out of that house, and out from under their roof. At least your husband's considering it. I really dread the day my in-laws return to Singapore for good, and that day is happening very very soon.
Do you think I can move back with my parents permanently?
 
Yeah!!! Congrats Qing! so happy for you. makes me wanna try again soon but i think i will wait for rabbit baby...
happy.gif
 
dustee,
why don't your mil take the ex as god-daughter since she likes her so much?!

bbp,
like cellow, take the opportunity to have some ME time! i'd surely love to have some me time now. go out, get new clothes, new hair do, massage, wax my legs... ... ...
 
hubby had to be at work all day today. i really don't like when he works weekends
sad.gif
so i asked my mother to poppysit, intending to get some xmas shopping done. going to orchard road on a saturday IS A BAD IDEA! i didn't get anything. just drifted along like a ghost

anyone knows where to buy a brown work belt, the kind that doesn't have holes for buckle? the buckle is adjustable kind...

poor dustee. i sympathise with you. your MIL is in love with this girl. chin up. at least your husband thinks the way he does. there are some men who think it's ok to be friends with the ex. i also think 'ex means ex' so get out of my life for good!

ok ok qing. i say softly. "congrats!"
happy.gif


bbp
why must move to your parents place? you guys not thinking of getting your own pad?
 
batgirl:
sorry to hear about that... hugz

Qing:
Congrats!!!
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XP can call her dad "ba ba" long time ago, but she keeps calling me "Ah Bi", though occasionally (once in a purple moon) she can say "Mami" correctly... sighz
 
hi mummies..

youpi.. the renovated one at upper thomson is the old thomson yaohan.. now it's called urr.. thomson plaza? sembawang shopping centre is a year (or two) old and is much further away...somewhere near seletaris condo if u know where that is... quite near me (and you know how far i stay huh)

bbp: at least your IL's respect you and ask for permission to bring dec out leh..

dustee... we miss you.. come in more often to 'let go' if u need to... I think it's normal for you to feel dat way, coz I would too.. but I'd try to shrug it off and not put it to heart (easier said than done though) coz you know.. the grass is always greener on the other side.. your MIL may idolise her, but she could have turned out to be a DIL from hell for all she knows.. juz be yourself and as someone told me once.. God's love and kindness will shine through you and people will see that eventually.. no need to suck up or angkat... haha

bbp: your hb does not plan to move out ever? and how likely would you IL's come back for good?

we should have a 'let-it-all-out' session huh.. I sure have lots to contribute haha
 
qing
congrats congrats...
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batgirl
so sorry to hear abt your aunt...

bbp
hmm, u know hor, i say the same things as your hb when my parents are back. they are only back every 2-3 months so when they are back, i let them bring jh out alone. maybe cos they are my parents so i m ok. if it's il bringing i worry abt things like whether they know how to watch out for him etc. but i can understand lor cos they are only back every now and then and wd really love to spend time with their grandchildren. of cos my hb dun really see my point but he will be abit more accomodating.

dustee
doesn't your mil know that what she is doing is really quite irritating? just ignore her as best as u can...we are definitely on your side!!

mummies
jx going to see a specialist on xmas eve. she has been diagnosed with bilateral flat feet. that's one of the reason why she kept falling down when walking. her right foot is flat but lucky it is correctable. maybe need physio or wear splint. hope can correct soon....

any lunch coming up?
 
arrgh! I just deleted all the pics we took at babies prom and with high-5 at taka today! =...(

oh.. how did you discover her flat foot? got stuff to pick up from you hor.. books and colostrum powder! would you happen to be coming to RP area on mon or tues morning? I'll be gone the rest of the week.. how come didn't join us at marina barrage?
 
dustee
Ur mil like the ex so much everything also like her then next time will also be like ur mil when she grows old. Ain't you glad you r not like her??.....hehehe

Anyway I believe you just need to get it off your chest cos its not gonna stop happening and I'm sure you feel much better now....
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batgirl
Your aunt is fortunate she still have you guys who are good to her. Take care k.

do1nk
Wah u also went bb prom and Hi5 today aah?
bbG liked the Hi5??
D loved it so much but E was like you dun touch me I'm good. And they had to go carry her for photo taking and she cried bloody murder....hahaha

Qing
Dun say loud loud aah okie.
<font color="aa00aa"><font size="-2">CONGRATS!!!!
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</font></font>
 
bbp,
lol on your phrasing...
ok then say it more often here than to HB f2f.

do1nk,
good idea on the let it all out session
happy.gif


dustee,
like i told you f2f, you def shd write a book abt e ongoing MIL-DIL saga....
 
dor i wanted to ask you but forgot leh.. which session of babies prom were you at? we could have gone together hor.. bbG juz woke up when high-5 started singing, but so he wasn't active dancing but could still say high-5 haha
 
Steph, Cellow,
Yes I know. I'd love to have some ME time, but it has to be on my own timing. I was intending to take him to the nearby park that day.

PB,
If left to my hubby, he would NEVER move out. He loves this place too much. "Big garden for Declan to run around, big house, close to town, where else can you find such a good place?"

do1nk,
Yah at least they ask, but can I say no? That's why I said it's a rhetorical question.
As I told PB, hubby loves his place. So maybe the only way to get him to move out is if there's a big blowout between his parents and me lor. Sigh. One step at a time, one bridge at a time. Meantime, I can only come in here to fa xie.
Probability of them moving back? Really high right now.

SY,
Yah, that's why I don't say anything. But what urks me is they have a tendency to not ask questions and assume. Like the other day, they gave him juice while out. And I guess I should be thankful that they actually told me. But juice is something that I don't want to give cos either pure fruit or water is better than juice. Sigh. Guess it's just my style vs their style. A never ending battle.

dor dor,
You are right. Sometimes what we need is just a place to fa xie and after that, it feels so much better.

I do feel better.
 
qing,
finally ur wish come true. Congrats! take good care of urself ok? hehe.

steph,
rabbit baby? count me in!

dustee,
somehow some way i suddenly understood ur feeling coz similar things happening to my family. i admire ur guts to face the problem. *pat* but remember u are not alone. do speak out to ur hubby when u feel u can't tk it anymore. dun snowball it ba. it will turn into very serious problem.
 
SY
when i was working at tumble tots (this was way back in sec 4), i remember being taught that flat feet in babies are common and climbing the rounded ladder rungs at tumble tots (not sure if other play gyms are the same) does help their feet develop the arch. you might want to go for a tiral and see?
 
bbG
for some time we have observed that her feet seems flat. hb is very sure she has it. so we asked the GP some time back. but cos she's just started walking and still young, he told us to monitor. but recently when i went again and she has been walking for abt 4 months already, Gp said better we go see specialist. they will be able to teach us some exercises etc to correct it. so i went to poly clinic to get the referral to KK. If not, it's going to be really ex! the poly clinic doc said it's correctable. with physio or maybe wearing splint, she shd be fine.

bbp
yeah i know what u mean. i dun like it if they do things that i dun approve. but at least they tell u. i dun think my IL will tell me...but then my son is well trained by me. he won't go out with them without me! so at least i can still watch him these few years....

PB
that wd be the perfect excuse for me to sign her up for classes!! haha...see what the specialist say first. her first appt is 24th dec.

sigh, sometimes i think if i m working, who is going to handle all these? my hb dun really see it and still kept asking me to go work in Jan...

cin bunny
think if flat feet can see. jx's right foot and left foot looks different. we got her shoes with arch (from colettee) so tha she won't fall so easily. it helps. most of the shoes like clarks, pigeon, combi etc all dun have arch.
 
Qing
Congrats!
happy.gif
Ergo - can get from mummysmilk.com > think there is a sale on now.

SY
Oh no, I think L may have the same problem. He's always falling over invisible things.

Bbp, Dustee
Hugs... I would absolutely loathe living with ils and admire those who can. One couple I knew lived with ils but they had the entire top floor of the house for their own, so it was like an apartment within the house, with a living area, a bedroom, bathroom, and balcony. So it was not too bad for them as they had their own 'biggish' space. Perhaps you could create that kind of thing where you are now, if moving out is not possible?

Another place to visit: the Central FIre Station at Hill Street on Saturday mornings. It is free, and kids get to try their hands at spraying the water hose, climb in and out of fire engines and ambulances, go up a cherry picker, etc. There is also a museum with vintage engines and other exhibits, and a art activity that older kids can do. We finally went after much procrastination and both boys enjoyed it very much.
 
SY
kayden is also fallin down alot..
Is flat feet hereditary??
im kinda flat feet too...

Today got down to atlantis city... quite small and frankly kayden spends most of his time in the ballpit...
 
Ooh! bbG loves fire engines too.

I must find time to bring him one day. Any info online?

How did u mummies find staccato?
 
Hannah,
NO, hubby is one of THREE sons, but he is the eldest. I guess that makes a difference right?

youpi,
Has L started walking only recently? Cos when I saw him at Soccatots, he still walks with his hands kinda outstretched(for balance I guess). If he has just started, then it would be quite normal for him to fall right?

Question on walking and falling:
How to tell if our tots are falling more often than normal? I think Declan is ok, but then again, how do I know? Umm, am I worrying unnecessarily again?
 
bbp,
I too complained a lot to my mum abt how my mil is spoiling my son. my mil had zero chance of baby sitting even for a while. this was until my mum told me off. (1) my son is mil's grandson too. plus my hb is her only child. how can I deny her her only grandson. (2) who'd dare touch my son if I'm so petty (I think she meant possessive). my bro even asked me if I'd really want lesser people to love and care abt my son. you see, we were never close to our own grandparents so we could empathize the lack of doting grandparents. after hearing those words, I tried to get to know my mil and let my son get close to his nai nai whenever she's at home.

also, my bro &amp; his wife &amp; son stay with my parents. my parents esp my dad are the typical spoil the grandchild rotten type. i'd be very upset if my sis in law refused to let my parents spend time with their grandson.

maybe you haven't spend enough time with you pil to get to know them better. maybe after you get to know them, you'll love them. I was told to always remember that whatever our pil do, it's always with good intentions. ok, maybe with exception to dustee's mil hehe... but I'm sure she can't be all bad if she raised a son whom dustee loves and married tight!? this what I always tell myself when my mil does something that irritates me.

my 2 cents worth. good night mommies. sweet dreams.
 
Steph,
Actually everything you said has already been said by hubby. I probably would like my pil, IF I weren't staying together with them. It's a matter of choice. If I weren't forced to spend time with them, I probably wouldn't have as much to complain about.

Another me vs them issue: I hate people telling me what to do or give "suggestions", but my in-laws are those that have LOADS of "suggestions". So yet another thing that can't be resolved ever, so just chalk up as another thorn in my ass la.
 
re flat feet
did i make all the mummies worry?? i think can see from their feet. if they have been walking for a while n still falling down then i guess no harm asking doc at their assessment check. they have 1 at 15-18 months.

youpi
i read abt the fire station visit but sat mornings are difficult!! i have a lazy hb, jh has swimming lessons...blah blah blah..if not i wd love to go! it sounds fun

steph
hee you are quite good at 'ren'. yeah sometimes i do remind myself that they are after all my kids grandparents but i think i feel a bit resistant at times cos last time when my #1 was young, my mil always said things that were not very nice. she will always ask my boy to call papa and dun wan my boy to be so close to me. and she always say things like my kids are her grandkids and bear my hb's surname so shd be closer to her but dun put in effort. then get angry with my parents when they see my boy closer to them.

for #2, worse, she showed so much favortism to the boys that my maid also commented that it's obvious.

but now she's slightly better so i dun mind so much also but she likes to go agst me when i already say no to the kids. that i dun lke.

fussy hor.
 
HI HI!!! Happy monday!!!! Me back to old office and love the convenience of town.. no more 1hr driving from east to west to and fro!!!
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Staying-with-in-laws cum dealing with in-laws..
I guess I am probably the few here that gets along well with my in-laws and have none of the problems you all are going through... I am counting my blessings... but I think its all about perspective.. everything they do, look on the good side instead of the bad and just "talk it off" maybe will be better when you next face them.. coming here to faxie is a good idea! come, throw!

Dustee.. i can only hug and hug... so sorry you have such a MIL and so sorry your hubby is not doing more than he should. personally I think your hubby should stand up to stop all these FOR YOUR SAKE instead of just keeping quiet and letting all these happen. I also think that EX needs to be more sensitive and just stay friends with them without keeping you in the loop... anyway, hope you find your solution to untying this knot in your heart. Hugs and Hugs to you...

This thurs lunch.
anyone? Liang Court Marutama, anyone???

hey hey, christmas party still going on? what's the latest?
 
sy,
my PD only commented on his lack of vocab... i hope C has more expressive vocab after he goes to school from 1 Mar.
no la... you din make me worry abt flat feet. if can correct with physio or splints, then tis not tooooo bad?
C1 stumbles around but only when he is especially tired or anxious to get to wherever he is going...

ILs
the problem with ILs is that they are after all NOT our blood relatives. (ditto for the BILs and SILs....) and seem to have memories like elephants whenever we (I) say anything bad to their faces, or even to HB, who then innocently relays our words to them...
so a lot of space for misunderstanding.
but w any relationship, there is always room for improvement... why not focus on what they provide for our children instead of their very human shortcomings?
and fa xie here. hey, we are human too!
or if really buay tahan, say it to their face in a michelle-talk-to-the-kid-but-really-tis-talking-to-them way.

bbp, i can say all this bcz the ILs are a sea away... dunno if i will be able to say the same if they stay with me... *pat* again. dun anticipate problems now, deal with them lateras they arise. you will only drive yourself mad _now_ with wat-ifs
 
experienced bf mummies,

What is the best remedy for blocked ducts? my friend just gave birth, its only been 4 days and she is experiencing blocked ducts. I told her to latch and massage and latch and massage.. correct or not??
 
fire station tour! Whoa! THanks youpi for the lobang! I can already imagine Ethan's face when he is going to see fire engine, the real one! woo hoo... do they allow like, fri morning? which website to find out more har??? I am so excited!!!!!!!!!! Fire station, Ethan is coming!!!!
 
Michelle:
2 months ago i had blocked ducts, someone advised me to squeeze my nipple, then there is water-like liquid coming out from a tiny spot - that is the blocked duct. then like squeezing pimple to clear the "solid". then it is clear. i tried a few times, it works, but after that my boob was like kena punched :p
 
michelle,
blocked ducts..... massage as in breast self examination, go round in circles, outer circle in circular motion, then again inner circle in circular motion... haiya, a lot of circular motion jiu dui le.
then 2nd stage of massage is to massage from outer breast to areola from all directions.
and of course latch...
then if all fails, get a malay-style postnatal massage, ask if they also clear breast blockages (the minor type la)

waiwai's description of squeezing pimple is very apt
happy.gif
 
youpi,
I m trying to imagine 16 mo L handle the water hose.... but am failing. Climb in and out of fire engines maybe possible la...
so which parts can L do at the fire station tour?
 
smiggle
what's atlantis city?

steph
but hor, my hb himself DOES NOT TALK to his mother, my mil y'know. so you can imagine how controlling and naggy she can be till her own son tak boleh tahan.

so sometimes i feel quite poor thing for her also lah. imagine if our sweet little babies grow up and dont' want to talk to us? our hearts will shatter into a million pieces.

bbp
i know what you mean about ils having lots of suggestions! "maybe you should pack your cupboard this way" "maybe pomfret should wear sleeved clothes instead of sleeveless" "shouldn't you change her diaper now?" "shouldn't she shower now?" "shouldn't you feed her now?" "i think her toys should be kept this way" "i think you should teach her this way" "i think you should not let her play this toy now" it's endless. it's true, my mil loves to think.

michelle
my hb wanted to talk to his mother about it all along. but i didn't let him. it's like, he NEVER talks to his mother EVER. and prob hasn't talked to her since he was 13. the last proper conversation was "ma, i want to marry dustee". so imagine, if his next conversation with her is "i want you to treat my wife better" how heartbroken she would be? my hb is a very weird man. he offers to help them with errands and all that, buys them gifts, brings them out to eat, but he just DOES NOT TALK. in fact i think his first ex (not this favourite ex) got scared away coz she came for a family dinner and it was silent the whole dinner......

so sometimes i kick myself lah. if don't want to fight with her, and won't let my hb stand up for me, then i really shouldn't complain about it.... still working on that!!!

in-laws and loving our children
anyway, pats to those mummies with ils who don't love their babies , and yes i am grateful at least my ils love pomfret to crazy bits. it does not hurt to have more pple who love them!

blocked duct
if external one, will see the bleb (pb is the unfortunate expert on this!). if internal one and massaging and massaging does not help, then go see the lactaction experts! (somehow they know how to massage differently... but a bit weird to have someone else grabbing your boobs no?)

and thanks mummies who've been sending me encouraging msgs. you know who you are, and even if i didn't respond previously (coz when emo, i just keep quiet lah) but i will eventually climb out of this!

xmas party
sorry ah, was supposed to have one at my ils' house. but they suddenly decided they wanted to repaint the house this month. and the painters are some super old men (and i always worry they just die while they are up on the ladder or something) so they take super long also. kiv 2010.
 
won't be around for ramen but it's good to see you joining us again dustee! :D when u r feeling much better and up to it, we'll come over and mess your place up ok? :p
 
dustee... not to mention come armed with post-its!
pomfret only eats ramen? wah, she has exclusive food taste. bb cereal, porridge all kena rejected?
 
bbG
did you have fun with G at the babies' prom? i think my hb loved it more than she did. poor thing (hb) hasn't been to an SSO concert since she was born.

cellow
she won't eat porridge. sometimes would deign to eat a bit of rice in chicken soup. try to sneak in meat or vege in tiniest pieces she will push it out of her mouth. with ramen she will scream and scream till you can feed her. and if you show her an empty bowl and say 'no more' she will cry as if she hasn't been fed for centuries.
 
dustee
atlantis city is a small playground at delta sports complex, only $5/hr..

Lunch
i cant make it.. too far for me
sad.gif

i can only do city hall/bugis...

Xmas Party
Still on at Simei Green function room???
 
dustee,
and then everyone in the ramen shop will look at you? i get that all the time w C outside, and with all sorts of food. have learnt to be thick skinned abt the kaypoh looks.
anyway, C is growing really well, so no one can say that he has not got enuf to eat.... so there!

bb proms
youpi,
pls will you sms me the name of your contact for the tickets again... i promise myself to bring C1 and C2 next year. that will be fun!
wasnt sure if i was gonna be puky this year, so din bring C1
 
Bbp
Yes, L is still an L-plate walker. He still moves like C3PO in surrender. Okay, will see how he continues to move before subjecting him to flat-feet tests.

Cellow
Cannot handle the water hose unless the fireman holds it for him. Even S needed the fireman uncle to help hold it. L did not do that. He enjoyed: clambering into the vehicles, pretending to drive with the big steering wheel, going up in the cherry picker, walking up and down the stairs that led to the firemen quarters, touching, pulling, tugging and generally laying his hands on anything that had knobs, was dangling, or could be poked, in the museum. I'll try to put some pictures up later.

Bb Proms contact: wait ah, must search for it.
 
dustee,
I so agree to your ils having suggestions! And I have one more... "Do you need to shower him now? OH! By the way, I've turned on the heater already."
And you are back! Your comment about the painters just die while on the ladder or something made me literally laugh out loud. I so missed your humour
happy.gif


Qing,
Is the ramen shop the same as the one we ate at Central? Or different?

Re baby meal:
Pomfret's love for ramen reminded me of Declan's dinner yesterday. I went out with my parents so Declan had Jap food for dinner. Plain rice, steam egg, and a little salmon. He loved the plain rice so much (although it's by far the lousiest Jap rice I have ever eaten) that he kept shouting "MORE!" that I was utterly embarressed. Luckily we were sitting in some secluded corner.
 
do1nk
I went to the 2.15pm show......hehe
So Hi5 you queued and went inside??
I went inside with the kids but only D was allowed to roam free as I dun think I can handle E if she runs with some idiotic helpers and parents jus standing there blocking all the kids behind.
 
bbp, wow, your ILs are control freaks too har.... still cannot beat the all time champion, there... the one who controls via post it ones... and then say bad things about dustee one...

Dustee, think about it. SHould we be kind to people who doesnt deserve it? if no, then let your hubby do what he suppose to do. I dunno, i would go straight to tell my mom off if she ever once insult my hubby, doesnt care if hubby stops me or not. If you think they deserve your kindness, i guess that answers your own question... and so just come here to let your dark air out loh...


so cute, pomfret loves ramen.. too saltish or not? E-boy still not exposed to any outside food or garnishing yet.. maybe i go macau i will relent.. SD, macau convenient to buy things like fish, chicken, vege to cook anot? :p

E-boy also trip and fall easily wor, and walks with legs still wide open leh... how to check for flat feet leh? anyway, PD would ahve spotted it right? so should be ok lah....

bbp, the liang court marutama is same as central one...

Isetan Private Sale!! 18 Dec!!!
 

girls,
i have a mum issue, and need advice....
during MIL visit, my MIL gave my mum some hee peow and my mum just v directly said to MIL 'i dun know how to cook hee peow, you better take this back'
... i dun know where to put my face. apologised to MIL straight after that

how to tell my mum? she has been sensitive ever since i married...
 
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