(2008/06) June 2008

crystal...
maybe tats their way of showing love to their granddaughter...you can try to tell them firmly tat u need to bond with bb and a good way is to bring her back home...see whether it helps?

ND girl..
i can totally understand your feelings..never ending with MIL's ... try not to clash with her as there's still a long way to go
 


crytal/ND girl,
same same. I had a fight with MIL too. even HB siding her. That time we talk for more than 1hr and i was crying non-stop. HB din't even 'an wei' me instead of add more oil. They just don't understand that we are new mummies. We work in the day can only accompany bb after work. But accompany awhile is her time to sleep. Time bond with her is very little lor. Thats why we tend to afraid bb will close to IL.
 
<font color="aa00aa">ND,
i m not surprise if one day yur MIL tell yur ger such stuff. it is amazing tat how MILs can treat DILs like 2nd class citizens (sometime) but at the same time can accept the bbs borne by us. tat fact nvr fail to amaze me.

shycloud,
i did but u know wat my MIL says? "aiya, she (referring to my ger) stays here also the same lar." i did tell my MIL b4 tat i dun wan my ger to be a PR in her bedroom as she grows older. my MIL can tell me, nvr mind somemore!
my hb going for ict 2 wks, i told my MIL i wan bring bb back to our room to sleep at nite to keep me accompany, she can tell me instead to go to her room to sleep wif her &amp; my FIL on the same bed wif bb there! &amp; leave our rm &amp; bed empty? tat doesnt make sense to me &amp; no way i m going to sleep on the same bed as my PILs! the tot makes me shivers....</font>
 
crystal,

sleep in the same rm as PIL? no way manz...aiyo not like we still kids or wat.

ever wonder whether during MIL's time, did their then MIL treat them the same way as they treat us? if yes, it must be tough, so in this instance y must they let history repeat itself?
so ironic.
 
Hi Crystal..ur PIL realli protective of ur bb hor....but in a way u oso nd to let them know u r the mother..u nd to hv quiet times wif bb cos u r workg..talk to them nicely lor..relax la...dun tension...
For me my MIL likes to say...oh ur gal looks like our side...eyes like father .mouth look like father..nose like grandfather...etc...worst ting is she says oh..she looks like my bro in law...i was like...oh man! since when i slept wif my bro in law...???!!
then she always say...oh..girl girl..i ask ur uncle to take u ok..u stay uncle house..(uncle = bro in la)...alamak...must be siao liao i tink ...
 
shycloud, the best solution not to clash with her is i move out, otherwise i cannot take it if she plays this kind of things every now and then.

Sharon, i understand when hubbies side with their mothers we are most cham one. Cos i always feel that in the household we are the outsider. We will never be able to become family.

crystal, ya we are forever the 2nd class citizens. Like i only get a ride to the MRT on becos of my SIL, otherwise i take the LRT out by myself, even when i was pregnant also same treatment. Your MIL siao or what sleep with them?

Rizty, yes yes yes haha, to my MIL my girl looks like her whole family but me! And some more can say things like lucky look like her son got this got that. One most funny thing is she say my girl look like father good got double eyelids and my hubby rebutt her that I also got double eyelid mah!
 
Actually i think that MIL are very proud of their own creation for eg their son and grandchildren. So whenever my girl perform something new, she will go wa so clever i dun think any other baby can do that!
 
Sharon (v4l3n),

I dun hav the pic with me cos in office. The chair can be converted into a table when not in use. I brought at $199 usual is $379.
 
Crystal and the few mummies, dun think too much, rem must stand firm! When baby is bigger, PIL will get more ridiculous one, no joke. Coz I am one major victim of my son, thus I vow not to let my gal close to them, even 'pa kei' with nanny that I already fetch gal eventhough I went for dinner with friend and fetch gal later. Why, coz my mil will very gancheong go over and carry her back home, and keep asking me and nanny why i so late never go fetch her.
 
<font color="aa00aa">shycloud,
according to my MIL, her MIL nvr treats her like tat ley. she keeps praising how good how good her MIL is, so dunno why she do such stuff.

rizty,
i nvr go head-on wif either MIL or FIL but telling them things tactfully doesnt seem to work ley. they keep doing funnier &amp; funnier things with regards to my bb. i wonder is it cos no tension, they think i too soft &amp; start to exceed the boundary thinking i wld not dare to speak up?
yur ger looks like yur BIL? chiam oreadi lar. does she knows the implication or not?

sharon,
my sentiments exactly. u hit the nail on the head.</font>
 
ND's girl..
r u planning to find your own place? i really find its better rather than staying together..less conflicts.

i always tell myself got secrets also cannot tell hb cos later he go and tell his family..cos blood thicker than water...but if im unhappy abt MIL i sure tell my HB 1st and ask him to resolve it.
 
star,
My ger oso. Cannot flip, hates tummy time, but loves to sit or stand with us supporting. Very tiring wor. She seems to noe that we will oblige cos she kwai kwai when at my mum's place but tortures us when she's back with us.

crystal,
For me, it is my mum who is the main caregiver. Sometimes, she will want me to leave my bb overnite, but I dun want. I oso worried that my bb will be closer to my mum and the maid. sob.
 
crystal...
huh? then y she treat u differently leh? challenge her lah lolz...my hb usually will do tat when she spout some nonsensical theory. most of the time she loses the battle...haha

the best is to get hb to talk to them...they prob feel threaten and insecure tat DIL will talk back to them etc..so they might disregard our feelings.
 
shycloud, my hubby and i have bought another place but it only TOP next year. We thought that try to ren until our house come lor but who knows my MIL cannot control her temper anyhow flare. So now I stay with my mum first lor, lucky i still got my mummy, own mum still the best.

But like very sad right, marry him yet cannot tell him things. Husband and wife should be the most close isn't it. We are the ones who will walk the path to the end with our hubbies not their mothers!
 
<font color="aa00aa">ladies,
my MIL very funi one. i scare bb later "snatch" by them cos i ve a very real case at my MIL's plc. they had previously successfully "snatch" my older nephew from my SIL &amp; when I 1st got pregnant, they can still proudly tell me tat till now the boy 8 yrs old, prefer ah gong ah mah than daddy mummy (my SIL &amp; her hb). everynite the boy will sleep wif them, go everywhere also wif them type. so my SIL (my MIL's own daughter) when give birth to the 2nd boy, her hb quickly took the boy back &amp; look after themselves till he is abt 4-5yrs old, then let him close to the gramps.</font>
 
shycloud, actually hubby talk to them also can backfire. Like my case, when my MIL flared up, my hubby defended me and told her that she was over-reacting. She scold him that now he got wife only defend wife. Mother no need respect liao.
 
crystal, is it becos they worried that next time their children dun wan them so they purposely make the grandchildren stick to them
 
ND girl,
tats gd! @ least u know u going to have a place of your own...next yr very fast one lah. ya agree own mother still the best!

tell secrets can but must be selective. judging from my hb he anything also say casually..dangerous leh later watever happens in my family their family know...i prefer to have some privacy reserved for my family...even though we r "yi jia ren"
 
Mummies,
today is topic on MIL huh? I also have arguements w my MIL. Last time gave birth to my #1, had big quarrel with her too. HB also side w her. Now gave birth to #2, also quarrel. Is it tat all MILs the same?
 
hi gals

my MIL stays in Pahang Msia, when i gave birth to my gal she said....y not my gal stays wif her since the 2 boys not really close wit her...Pahang leh...very far away wor......

but when come to Spore, my PIL prefer to stay at her parent's hse....only come and visit the grandchildren or the most sleep one day only at my hse......so if she in Spore, my family have to to and fro to my hb grandparent hse lor...
 
<font color="03b6ea"><font face="Comic Sans MS">shycloud.. same same.. i prefer to have privacy, u know my mother-in-law always like to peep into my room when the door is not closed... </font></font>
 
<font color="03b6ea"><font face="Comic Sans MS">the funniest thing is when my mil stay with us alone, my husband dun allow me to close door when sleeping at nite..telling me that his mum will scared.. i am so angry and tell him that if he dun allow me to close.. he might as well moved to his mum's room to sleep </font></font>
 
ioio...
u shld sneak behind her quietly and ask..."u looking for something" whenever she does tat repeatedly. she prob wun dare to do it again! lolz.
 
<font color="03b6ea"><font face="Comic Sans MS">so sian... when it's comes to mil.. haiz... never ending story.. </font></font>
 
ND's girl..u know sometimes when PIL come to my house and my gal sleeps liao..when they leave at abt 11pm they tell me..'bring the bb out ..i wanto carry..!!' .i gif my hb a angry look..he understand wat i meant..then he say ..dun wan la..she sleep liao..don disturb..then they will say...we are so NGEOW (stingy)..wif showin our bb...wah piang...not auto wan leh..they np nd sleep bb oso nd sleep mah...:X
 
ioio...
we sounded more like the evil DIL...always gossip abt MIL lolz...but i bet they do the same somemore rattle away like nobody business to "san gu liu po"!

if u ladies ever watch the channel 8, 9pm show "nai ba bai fen bai (feature adrian pang)", whenever i see the MIL (the gossipy one with specs) it reminds me of MIL...lolz
 
Crystal,
It could be our age grip is not far...
happy.gif
 
ND girl,
Ya. That day was a nightmare to me. During the quarrel I felt so terrible. Both of them all pointing fingers at me. Even my own HB in the house which is the closes to me. They simple don't understand how we feel. I felt so left out that i nearly pack n go to mum's place. They ask me not to worry. Of course will worry lor. New mummy leh. Of course this scare that scare what. Haiz.

Worst still is that HB's mum previously is a teacher. So she is damn good in talking. whatever wrong things she did, she can say until correct. So end up HB listen to her nonsense and I end up being the bad one. My HB when he not in bad mood he know his mother bad patten but when he is in bad mood, his mother add more oil he will then say is my problem. I really very disappointed with him lor.
 
Saw this from another thread, to share

Please note that the following coffee contains melamine which causes bb to die in china.

Indo Cafe coffee
Gold Roast low sugar 3 in 1 coffee mix
Super coffee mix 3 in 1
Mr Brown ice coffee
Aik Cheong Coffee mix
 
rizty, they dun understand cos they are not the ones who have to coax the bb back to sleep again.

sharon, oh dear, it is worse when hubby also stand on other side. haiz. the men always dun understand.
 
shycloud,ND,Sharon,
I can usderstand lor..My MIL yest was telling my bb in front of me, only "you and ah ma knows wat we are talking abt hor..Mummy also duno know hor"!..I was like!@#$%, abit jealous lor...Then if I din hear wrongly, past few days, i tink i heard bb called "ah ma" leh...My MIL so happy lor =(...I know I shoudn't be jealous and can't be jealous cos MIL takes care of my bb and are closer to her lor..But then, 1st time mummy lor, hiaz...

Crystal,
mayb u shd speak to ur hb? I always tell my hb de, then he go tell his mum off, say we parents need to hv own time with bb also mah..
 
speaking of MILs,

mine used to say that my arms are very skinny so baby won;t feel comfortable when I carry him that's y he cries! so angry that time. now I just 1 ear in, 1 ear out, else will be very angry everyday, sigh
 
<font color="aa00aa">ND,
*shrug* I dunno ley. Dunno how they think also…
Good of u to move out. Stay under same roof as ILs sure ve conflicts no matter how much we tend to give in to them. I afraid when my ILs grow old, they will move in wif us cos my 2 nephews both dunno ah gong ah ma. Told them to go live wif gu gu &amp; ah kim (hb &amp; me). I sure headache then but now I try not to think abt it.

Shycloud,
Yup! But I cant see wat kinda of ‘achievement’ is tat? Distancing others’ kids from their own parents. Such thing proud meh?
Btw, yur suggestion to ioio makes me grin in front of my pc.

Ioio,
How come yur MIL like tat one? How big oreadi, still scare? Might as well ask yur hb to ve his mum sleep 2gether wif u guys lar. Like my MIL suggest I sleep wif her &amp; my FIL in same rm lor cos she dun wan to surrender MINE bb back to me. Arrrrrgggggg…..MILs!!!!</font>
 
Haiz, guess we hv never ending stories for MILs...

My MIL kept asking me how come my tummy so long haven shrink yet, still so big etc..I just told her cos ur granddaughter is big, thats y stretches my tummy til like day...She kept quiet liao...Somemore she keeps comparing wiht my hb's uncle's wife, say how come she can TBF, alot of milk, u so little? I just told her cos during confinement I din get to drink enough soup and too tired, thats y...she diam diam liao..haha
 
<font color="aa00aa">feifei,
tell hb? i did but tat didnt chng anything. cos he will jus brush me off &amp; say ah gong ah ma sayang bb no good meh? we can ve more time to ourselves! how to talk to him like tat?

i think to him of cos ok cos it is his own parents look after mah, so close to his parents, nvrmind lor. whereas for us,if close to his parents, of cos we mind. get the idea?

btw, tell yur MIL she is imagining stuff, bb now still cant talk, it is just gibberish.</font>
 
<font color="0077aa">when come to MIL's topic, the thread sure move very fast. haha.....

ladies, think back, our MIL oso think that we snatch their son away from them. Tats why they wanna 'snatch' our child oso lah. hehe....</font>
 


<font color="aa00aa">felicia,
not using purple anymore? keekkee...

fennie,
dun scare me ley. hb &amp; me had been drinking the super 3-in-1 daily ley. it's our daily dose. my hb even had it a few time daily. chiam...</font>
 
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