(2008/06) June 2008

Morning ladies..

Mag,
Dun be upset ya...can understand cos sometimes men just talk without tinking de..My hb also lor,last sat had a big quarel with him until charlotte cried..But aft we cool down, he know he is guilty, then do all the hsework the next day..haha... Know u must b tired cos not easy taking care of sick bb lor..Jiayou ya...nowadays alot of virus going ard leh...During e wkends, we brought charlotte to orchard, then hor, got some ple cough or sneeze nv cover their mouth one, really irks me...then I will give them those angry and disgusted look and walk ard with my hb..My hb say i shouldn't do that, then I say then stand there wait til Charlotte gets e virus? Then he diam...=).

LengLeng,
Nice writeup u hv on MILs..

Felicia,
oh dear, so hows yujie now? Poor ger...
Nowu bk to spore liao?

Huggy,
I also known my MIL for 8yrs liao...she is a nice lady, willing to sacrifics for us, but like wat janivy and felicia said, we are brought up differently...Sometimes i get bery cross cos now she staying with us, aft she cook, she shubian clean my kitchen, end up my stove, cabinets, tiles all bery sticky...i really bery upset...but lucky soemtimse my yima will come over to help me clean up cos she is doing hsekeeping lor...Then after she washed her hands, she will spash the water onto the flr, i already complained to my hb many times liao, say if like that, anyone will fall lor...then end up each time i see it, i clean for her in FRONT of her so as to let her know I always clean aft her..haiz...If wan to talk abt MIL, long story de..but got to give and take lor..no choice =)...

All,
U know hor, last wkend we brought charlotte to fish n co and also New York, then I let her taste the grilled fish without the sauce lor, she loves it..But cos she keep on wan to snatch out fork, give her biscuits also no use so we decided to let her try, she loves it..We also gave her mashed potato without the sauce, at 1st gave us a weird look but aft that happily licking her lips..hehe...Boy, can see my ger has grown up =)..
 


hi all! MIA for a long time, came back to find a thread all about MILs! how appropriate! the reason i MIA is also cos of MIL! haha quarreled so bad that almost jia1 bian4!
 
feliciarosey,
sometimes when we're hot in our head,
no way out lor.
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U have to get over it, most prob. she've forgotten about it already.
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Besper's down with cough too, weight not gaining.
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ioio,
u r most welcome,
from a DIL to another.
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iamsnow,
unless you can change the situation,
why not try to give in & turn the situation to a more advantage way to yourself?
Hating someone is tiring, loving someone is easier & happier too.
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janiviy,
*nod nod*
Guess altimately it's "jia he wan shi xin"
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Mag,
when BB is sick, we're all stressed,
pls don't take your hubby's words to heart,
I'm sure he's feeling very guilty after pouring his anger at you,
but being "MAN" with his silly "EGO"... you know lah... :p
Sometimes we need some "time-out", let me know if you need help lor,
can let Athan jump 1 hour at my place in the jumperoo,
you go compasspoint for a shopping spree... hehehe...
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Do taste the medicine, maybe really taste bad!??
#1 goes to school this morning, #2 & #3 at home with me,
hope #1 don't bring any extra virus home...

Tera,
we're all learning,
glad I shared something that made you laugh.
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tsk tsk.. at this age, they are still very curious,
about EVERYTHING!!!

Huggy,
your hubby loves you!!!
Just that he doesn't know how to put them in words,
so he ACTION.
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Hehe... Now I think back, it also brings a laugh to myself,
wonder if I will really cane her if she still sheilds my #1... :p
"Things that she donesn't want", may not be that way lah,
she may think it's still useful, wasted to throw away.
My MIL gave me things that I'll never use too,
I take them & well... gave them away... :p

feifei,
thanks.
happy.gif
 
Lengleng,
I read through your posts. I wish i can be big-hearted like u and love my MIL but it's so difficult. i feel that she's always making things difficult for me. always criticising.
 
Hey mummies!!!

Mag, felicia, leng2, hope Athan,YuJie & Besper get well soon. *send lotsa getwell vibes over*

Mag, hope you can catch some rest today while ur hb is in. Ya, have a good talk when Athan gets better. I also add med to milk last time cos J will struggle, vomit everything out too. Or during his water feed also can. Then make the milk volume 1 ounce lesser cos their appetitie will also drop. (this is also to ensure all the med gets into his stomach).

Leng2, I really enjoyed ur posting on the management of MIL. haha... Yup, jia he wan shi xin is most important. I gathered this from those HK serials. haha...

Jenny, yes, I also chasing the lil one when he explores. And lotsa of bb talking yah! haha... it's veri fun. Now his FAV is wire cables!!! super dangerous... just gotta keep a close look on him.
 
kye,
I'm not big hearted,
but being tough will not bring us anywhere.
Bring the situation to your advantage,
we're not going to be with them forever,
love her like there's no tomorrow.
happy.gif
 
MLP,
think now weekends is more tired than weekdays leh cos our lil 1s are nvr tired 1 lor unless sleeping onli. Chloe refuse milk yesterday again but interested in snacks and porridge onli hiazzzz and she is able to hold the cheerios herself wif her 2 fingers and both hands and happily eating and enjoying herself. Ya just dun understand y they like wire so much.
 
morning all....
posts on MIL...i had my fair share of problems...but its all @ peace now...@ least for now!

mag,
take care and have a good rest. im sure ur hb dun mean wat he says...have a good talk ya?

leng2,
u brighten up my morning with ur posts...heh

calling for MLP & veniz...
paiseh busy over the weekends...when u gals wanna get the vouchers from me ;p
 
Leng Leng,
but when i'm nice to her then she often takes advantage. eg she'll anyhow feed my son - sweet/salty things, then feeding time all haywire - so i cannot tahan
 
<font color="aa00aa">hi gers,
i m lurking ard here in &amp; out for a bit.
today totally no mood at all for anything cos horribly under the weather &amp; my jaws kenna locked. think too heaty liao.

if u gers need to purchase from childlife their range of pdts for yur bbs, can also use my code for a discount for 1st time customers with the iherb.com site. just quote KAN354.

hi lengleng,
thanks for your advice. i just used your quote to get the $5 discount liao. now waiting for them to ship over. hopes all goes well cos it is my 1st time trying to do overseas purchase on my own.

RE: MIL's issues
i'd my fair share too &amp; not just MIL but FIL, SIL &amp; BIL as well just couple of weeks back. argue so badly wif hb tat i mentioned the "D" word wif him too. but for now, things seems ok but i've tuned out these "external factors" - quoted my hb tat would ruin our marriage.

Veniz / Huggy,
i know sometime easier said than done, if bo pian, close both eyes &amp; ears &amp; ignore them all lar. i m doing tat nowsaday....*hugz hugz*</font>
 
<font color="03b6ea"><font face="Comic Sans MS">morning.. a hot hot monday morn.. me sick think my boi oso got the virus from me as mild fever past two nites..

mil.. nv ending stories.. hmn.. wonder next time how will the relationship between me and dil be... ;) </font></font>
 
I'm trying to minimise meeting my MIL. maybe less conflict then? hope it works. cos whenever we meet, she always has something to say about me.
 
Veniz, Kye,
We same same. I know how you feel. *pat pat at the shoulder*

Mag, Felicia, crystal,
thanks! I'll try to close all my senses next time.
Actually i've thought of the D word many times especially when i'm depress. But never say it out loud.

LengLeng,
Hope i can have your cool. Need to learn from you
happy.gif
 
good afternoon ladies!

just want to rattle out my frustrations. pls bear with me.....

maid is getting out of hand and a difficult to handle. dunno want to change or not coz i'm afraid i may get a worse one.

mil giving me lot of pblms.

very busy at work. i've been sick since last week. today, i'm still having fever. 38.9 still drag myself to work. coz got so much things to do. it's closing. my ka kia as usual geng all way, mc again today. i'm really very tired. it all started when my boss tender. i covering my boss. stress building up now coz the other coll is going on ML in may and I suppose to cover also. i have yet to learn her things. already so busy, where got time to learn? then my director tell me he expect me to cover loh. i sick until like that still got to come to work. but nobody empathise loh. just take for granted. no matter wat happen, just die die produce the things and operations must continue to flow smoothly....

*sob sob*
 
kye,
I agree, when comes to feeding our kids, I don't compromise,
I'll tell her, if they falls sick, I'm going to leave them at her place till they get well... hiak hiak hiak...
 
wah, i like your answer leh Leng Leng. but i will very she3 bu4 de2. and knowing my MIL if my kid fall sick, she'll dump him to my place. whenever he cries, she'll pass him to me. like that since birth.
 
<font color="03b6ea"><font face="Comic Sans MS">leng leng, can ask u? i am gg to order some stuff oversea, kids items..etc.. wats the advantage that i purchase on my own via joining a spree? any idea the amount exceed how much then it's more worthwhile to pay for the shipping on my own?</font></font>
 
<font color="03b6ea"><font face="Comic Sans MS">iamsnow.. hug hug.. it's really not easy lor.. i am oso sick and drag to work.. no choice..

kye, i am always deaf and dumb.. now learn to be blind.. hee.. taking some time to figure wats the "D" word.. i told my husband...if i know things like this, i rather stay single... ha ha.. but come to think about the little one, got to "ren" "ren" "ren".. </font></font>
 
<font color="0000ff">hi i am back from doing the allegy test for Yu zhe. Bad news. He is allergic to many food, particularly Milk, Egg, Peanut; and mildly allergic to soy. Only wheat and chocolate is fine. That means he cannot drink any formula milk unless those special formulated (amino-acid) which pd says taste yuck, so tat means i m recommended to BF as long as possible. I told pd i given him 2 weeks FM (partial BF) for first 2 weeks, and pd say maybe tats why it cause milk allergy bec if total BF shouldn't have tat prob.. but tat time when i just give birth cos i have emergency thus gynae instructed to give FM for first night.. then i only manage to total BF after 2 weeks.. sob i didn't know abt tat.

Both me and hb now depressed.. sigh. PD say can be for life, can also outgrow. And i am recommended to keep away from these food during BF</font>
 
wah. ioio, deaf, dumb and blind. zui4 gao1 jing4 jie4 !
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actually not just me, my husband also buay tahan his own mother, scared to see her cos she always got something to say. she always right, others always wrong
 
So many have problems with MIL… me too.
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worst still! my HB always think I’m wrong. His dear mummy is always right lor. I can’t tell him my problem with MIL. I can’t tell him! Like Saturday, Conversation is about our bb attitude change to very demanding, always need someone be at her side else she will cry/scream. Now I find is hard to look after her. So I say “Don’t know how your mother look after her”. He replied “What’s got to do with my mum again?” My meaning is because now baby so demanding, how she look after. I nv explain to him my words, just being sick of it because of his reply. Because he simply don’t listen to me. I have told him before that he refuse to listen to me… Still it happens.

From this incident, I suddenly feel that his mum is more important than me. He sure save her first if we both drop into sea. I’m sick of it already. Don’t know how… I had no one to talk to, had no one to listen my trouble but only my mum and she understands me well. Sometime I feel that one of these days we sure end up divorce… I do look nothing happen but deep in my heart many problems hiding in it… Don’t know when my HB will listen to me, don’t know when he will understand me. Haiz..
 
<font color="03b6ea"><font face="Comic Sans MS">ellysia, allergy to lactose? my hb allergy to egg and sesame oil and i am allergic to "metal"..i got a friend who allergic to rubber..</font></font>
 
At least u have yr mum..
my mum also give me probs.. i tink she is more concern abt her own stuff. If there is any probs with my hb, i can only ask frens or settle myself. I oso feel tat my hb treat his mum more impt than me. Not that i want to compare, but when conflicts or differences occur, somehow will feel upset if hb side with mother.
 
ioio,

allergy to milk proteins. not lactose intolerant. if lactose u only LS or gassy. But allergy can be fatal, cause breathing difficulties or hives etc.

I hope he can outgrow it later, but the test show a high allergy result for milk and follow by egg. Then milk occur in many stuff, like ice-cream, cakes etc. All he cannot eat. feel so sad for my bb.

now small still can manage bec mostly homecook food. when grow up liao schooling etc, dunno how.

Leng leng,

i am also hot-head. am also "fire snake".
 
the other day we wanted baby to sit in his high chair for his lunch and he protested. MIL quickly snatched him from us and screamed that we don't know how to be parents. stressing the "poor baby". she went hysterical and screamed and screamed.
 
<font color="0000ff"> the most upset thing is when pd told me if i BF all the way from birth and he never touch FM, then this may not happen at all and he will not be allergic to milk. U know i feel so sad when i know this.. if i know i let him hungry also dun let him take FM.. but so much pressure tat time and everyone say give FM if not he keep crying etc etc..

but then i oso remember tat first night he is ored given FM and i was not given a chance to latch imm upon giving birth bec' i nearly concuss at labour (BP drop to 50 tat time) so gynae straight told me to rest and no BF.

But then i tink maybe tat time i shouldn't have given similac but should have given isomil(soy based FM) instead then all this prob won't happen?...

SIGHHHHHHH</font>
 
Seems like recently our mummies here having a hard time wor..*hugz* for all ya..

iamsnow,
poor ger, how come ur company like that? Ur boss resign liao, u cover for him/her, then another going on ML, u need to cover her?Cannot employ another one more? At least they shd promote u to ur boss' s position and then get antother one to help u lor..hiaz..Can really understand ur stress... U got take ur med regularly?drink lots of water ya... I also falling sick liao, tonie go see doc...

Shycloud,
haiz, guess all the MIL talk are never ending de...

Ellysia,
can udnerstand lor..hmm...so as long as ur bb stays aways frm milk stuff, then he will be ok?
 
feifei,

yah stay away lor.

I am stressed bec' its v hard to stay away from milk stuff. a lot of food contains milk.

for example bread also contain skim milk.

my breakfast is always kaya bread and milo. Now i cannot eat these. No burgers. no mayonise. Kaya also have egg. No biscuits.

I read, even some sauce may contain milk/egg.

If the allergies cont and won't outgrow, next time he need to carry along emergency medicine. bec any food consume may contain, sometimes the food labels are not clear.
 
Ellyisa,
can understand lor..*patpat*..hmm.. Doc got say how come allergy de? Dun blame urself ya...No mothers will want to harm their bbs de, all started with the word "care"...
 
iamsnow, aiyo. *pat pat* must take panadol... u still drive to work?

chris, chloe big girl liao! only want to eat...hehe... does she prefer her mag mag cup? mayb can give her milk in tat? hehe... i suggest only nia. Not sure if it works. I just tried giving the straw top for magmag to J, he don want to drink lei. haha... last time i drink yakcult, he can drink fm straw. tis time round, he not interested.

crystal, oh dear. take fluid stuff like porridge.. r u resting at home now?

Haiz, my hb also feel his mum is correct lor most of the time. certain things maid tell me, if not i won't noe cos my MIL didn't tell me. then i tell hb, he say maid carry tales! wa lau, have to close one eye. to me, baby's safety most important. sometimes things has happened then baby sick liao, can only nurse bb back to health.

It's really not easy managing all the types of relationships in life now... especially more with a baby.

leng2, i like ur inspirational words of wisdom!!! kekekeeke
 
Regarding MIL issue..

My mum had bad relations with her MIL, kenna bullied by her. From young i have witness a lot of things. If i mention the stuff, then it probably nothing compared with wat u know. But since my grandma has already pass away, i dun want to say too much. Anyway It affect my parents relationship. The word D has been mentioned many times too. It only turn better when my grandma passed away. But the rs has been worsen ored.

What i feel is, it is really not worth quarrelling with hb over MIL. Some bad MIL just want to see u 2 quarrel, out to spoil the rs. If u quarrel with yr hb, its to her intention. Of course not all MIL are like tat. If yr MIL is those with tricks type, being angry or outright burst with yr hb does not help. But sometimes try to sweeten up hb do help. Wat i mean is use softer approaches.

Bad rs with MIL will oso affect family life for bb too. Try not to quarrel in front of kids, maybe now still not so bad since our kids are still v young. But when they are older, do make a habit not to quarrel in front. But behind. My parents quarrels give me a v bad phobia abt marriage and kids. It took me really great resolve to proceed to this step.

Toking abt this, though i know the theory, still hard for me to practise bec i am hot-headed. Just sharing wat i know and experienced.
 
ellysia,
pls don't blame yourself! we make decisions based on what we think is the best (for baby) at that point in time. no one can foresee the future!
 
<font color="03b6ea"><font face="Comic Sans MS">ellysia.. dun blame urself.. u dun 1 tis to happen oso.. cake.. there are a few cakeshop that sell cakes without eggs.. if you want to noe more.. i can provide u more info.</font></font>
 
<font color="03b6ea"><font face="Comic Sans MS">ellyia.. some use soy..if soy is still ok for u..</font></font>
 
ioio,

my bb is mildly allergic to soy, as wat the allergy test says.
pd say also avoid soy.

i am ok not to eat cake since only during when i BF. Just tat poor thing if my bb next time when go sch etc see his frens eat, he cannot eat lor.
 
Re: MIL
just to share...
my gf actually pyscho her mum to treat her SIL well before her bro got married. Ie, she wants her mum to treat her SIL like her own daughter and not treat her differently (since she's gonna be married into the family). so she arranges for shopping and makan trips pretty often before and after her bro got married.

the result: her mum treats her SIL real GOOD! watever my fren's mum bought stuff for her, her SIL gets a share. no unfairness here. and they were more like sisters in fact...rather than MIL &amp; DIL

her SIL is real fortunate i must say...my fren must have put in extra effort to "enlighten' her mum to change her mindset...
 
<font color="0000ff">need to ask those who had BF successfully for older kids, how long do bb wean off BM? As in, wat age can we stop giving milk? Be it BM or FM?

cos i tink i need to BF longer in this case. i originally intend to wean off when bb turn 1, and let him take FM. Now he cannot take FM liao, so i have to BF..
so now have to consider need to BF how long..
cos my MIL says if total BF need to feed until 2 to 3 yrs old. i tink so long meh, tot is olden times. </font>
 
Shycloud,

SIL is very impt. dun undermine their influence.

Last time my mum SIL (aka my dad's sisters) are the culprits. they keep telling tales to my grandma. tat also partly cause the problems.
 
ellysia,
Not ALL cakes have milk...some use water..just find out more..there are bound to have places that cater to your needs. Allgies are very common..my niece was once lactose intolerant..but now ok liao. So look on the bright side.
 
ellysia,
yes agree with u! tats y i try to establish good r/s with my SIL's..

have to use this approach to win over them so tat can ally and battle against the big enemy: MIL! wahaha

but having said tat i always feels strongly tat "blood is thicker than water" no matter how impartial they (hb and SIL) may be @ the end of the day they will always side with their own pple...
 


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