(2008/03) March 2008


isabella

that father ... really a B****** . he killed his own bb (10mth old girl)..by cooking her in the boiling water and that mommy then realised that the bb was in the pot of noodles when she was taking some noodles from the pot !!!

Poor bb died in the end.....sob sob
 
OMG!! Any links to the news?? Would like to read it myself... The father really $^&$@$#$^! Why he did such thing to his own baby?!
 
Isabella, I think you can invest in the DVDs. You bring your sons along and ask them if they like it lah. If they say they like, and later if they chuck it aside, you got reason to "nag" at them. Heheh

Celia, the one I read about boiling waster was: Father throw baby in pot of boiling water, mum haul the 10mth old bb girl out w bare hands, but already 3rd degree burns (back skin dropped out). Sent to hospital but bb died from wounds.

Another case:
Father whack daughter (dunno the age) when mum at work. Later mum came back, daughter got another beating. After that, daughter died from wounds.

http://www.etaiwannews.com/etn/news_content.php?id=927486
I think Taiwanese really don't spare rods. They literally use rod to whack children. I got a sec schmate from Taiwan whose father really did that. ST rpt that a Taiwanese Prof said might be due to economic recession that's why a lot of violent cases surfacing... Stupid excuse lah.
 
yasmin, abc -
yeah tristan loves board books with animals too!
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and those that are "interactive" i.e. he can pull the flap up, pull on a tag so that the animal appears etc....

i agree with yas that we have to be exciting, add animal sounds and be really dramatic to engage them....if not it'll be so boring like listening to a lecture or a sermon heheh!

bbpink -
i like the Lamaze range of cloth books but heng those were gifts from ppl because one book is so damn expensive! Tristan loves the "Where is Caterpillar?" book!

i inherited some books from my auntie (who used to work in a childcare centre) and some from my niece who is already pri 1 now. also bought quite a number of board books...i'll check the titles when i get home tonite. basically i choose those that have repetitive phrases and a distinct rhythm that the baby can follow and catch...
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i have a video of tristan "reading" his book and saying "bah bah bah...hah bah bah" and the book he is reading actually has words grouped in threes!! which goes to show that even though our bbs might not understand every single word or catch every syllabus....they know the pulse and rhythm of how the story goes.....!
 
happygal29
wow, 5.2 kg sounds good. i was quoted 6k to lose 10kg , how much was ur package

I think i din find the 1st trial good, dun noe is it cos i was inside the suana for less than 5 min, cannot take the suffocation and starts to panick when i cannot open the glass door initially, too uncomfortable,
prefer to lie down there and let the machines exercise me

Kell
13 June also ok with me

Taiwan cases
geez, these parents r inhumane. i really cannot imagine y they wana do these to their own blood

Singapore nany case
just read tat the 2 months o baby died because she bathes and the bb hit the head against the toilet bowl
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kell - OMG! i can't imagine doing that to my kids...no matter how frustrated or angry i am!! that said, who is an advocate of "spare the rod and spoil the kid"?

i think alot of parenting style stems from how adults were treated by their parents as kids?
 
Btw, who's working ard Tanjong Pagar?
There're 2 book fairs here, last day today. 1 in Tanjong Pagar Plaza (HBD estate) and 1 in Amara Htl Atrium. Mostly chinese published by China Publishers. Mostly abt $5. Very nice books. But hor, its China Products lah, erm, dunno the ink and paper is safe or not. Wahahahaa

Shaz: My HB already "caned" Phoebe a few times leow. She's not scared cos she dun understand. For me, I wave the cane to make the "whoosh" sound when she plays w TV/electrical stuff and she'll move away.
 
Kell,
Woo~ that sounds fierce.. But at least she's scared of you.. When I scold Rhys or be fierce to him, he will act even fiercer than me.. He not scared of me at all... Unlike his brothers.. I can still ctrl my 2 eldest sons, but for Rhys, I really dunno how to control him... Hubby always laugh at me when I fail to ctrl Rhys... I dunno what he finds it so funny~
 
bbpink,
my 1st trial i lost 1.1kg, mayb i got serious water retention problem? hmm...but subseqently, i lost 700g to 900g in each visit only wor...but i din follow strictly to the diet, hence i lose weight slower ba. my package abt 3k plus. got quote hw much u pay by hw much u want to lose one meh? i din knw leh
 
Isabella, cos Phoebe's quite wilful. She dunno what is stop and cannot. You pull her away, she will "challenge" you. So cane is there to show her its really cannot. Partially due to granny take care and they got dbl standard you know... My mum say cannot, then still give her the things. Now Phoebe do not understand what is cannot. Sian

I think Rhys still don't understand. Must tell HB to not laugh at you infront of kids, they will lose the respect for you... Only can laugh behind close doors.

Must be v firm in this stage. Cos they are pushing their boundries. Phoebe knows that everyone over at my mum's can be manipulated. She's better when she's home alone w me and HB.
 
Slimming/Health:
One tip is to drink honey w lemon/lime every morning before breakie. Helps to detox and some say helps in their slimming regime.

And do not drink carbonated/sweet drinks. Only plain water. Maybe max, 1 cup of normal coffee/tea/milo.

I am trying hard to get some exercise, cos I find myself having weak immunity and keep falling sick.

Do you know if you wanna slim down, you should only do toning exercise? Strenous exercise that builds muscle will add to your weight.
 
ya, was told not to build muscle too. but i got competition this week so got to build muscle again this week, din win though. will update my facebook. :p
 
mrn mummies,

? June Sat, 4PM at Jacob Ballas Children's Garden

Please update if you can make it on 13 Jun instead?
1) Kell, HB, and Phoebe
2) Bbpink, Family and Kyzac
3) CK, Yvonne and Bryan
4) Shirley, Lele + Bro ?
5) Summerdaze, Giselle ==> 6th, 13th OK
6)
7)
8) Please continue...

Taiwan cases,
gosh.. hw can any1 do such inhuman acts to their own flesh n blood!! heart pain when i see the article.

Kell,
Phoebe looks so guai leh. so, Phoebe oni afraid of u or ur hubby? for my case, i think giselle oni afraid of my mil. She is not scared of me too... last nite, i brought her for her evening walk and she walked off with another mummy instead of heading to my direction. Gosh.. I have to chase after her in the end. (I think this method can slim down too. lolz)

Something to share: Charity Fun Day-
http://www.assisihospice.org.sg/index.cfm?GPID=65
If u guys are free, why not come down to this event for charity n have fun?
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My company is participating in this charity event n we volunteer to sell curry puffs n pokka drinks. Usually, when it comes to closing time, the vendors will try to sell the stuff cheaply n u can get some good deals.
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just for sharing.
 
Happygal: U're in sports?

Summerdaze: Hm, Phoebe's like not afraid leh. She like just play whole day and we just try to stop her from doing things that she's not supposed to do.

Isabella: Exercises like leisure swimming, yoga, Pilates. Roller blading is a good sports but don't do it extreme. You can bring your boys go to the beach (think its East Coast?) where they have the boucing "shoes". I saw it on TV and it seems exciting. Run and bounce like Tigger fm Winnie the Pooh.

Jogging/Running will make ur calf big. Also prolonged poundage will wear off the knee cartilage. Will cause knee probs.

I'm also bottom heavy and my HB told me to do squats but I'm lazy, as usu.

Squats:
Do 10 sets of 10 spaced out in a day
Squat like you know the SoyJoy commercial? But 1 set is 10 squats which you slowly go down ie sitting post and slowly come up. You will feel your thighs giving way... LOL
But its siong lah, and I convienently forget
 
talking about losing weight, i still cannot stick to any regime...i don't want to pay a lot of money to slimming centres if i still have to watch my diet :p if i can control my diet, i don't have to go to slimming centres in the first place!! haha....but now i'm trying to find out more about meal replacements...my uncle recently lost a lot of weight by replacing his lunch with meal replacement...i should ask him which type he uses but it was quite a remarkable change....anyone ever taken meal replacement bfor??

discipline
i'm starting to do time-out 1 minute for bb tommy when he does something particularly dangerous or disruptive, like standing on the couch or trying to switch off the cable box *haiz*....i think as long as consistent, it should work since he really hates being put in his play-pen for time out....i'm not comfortable using hitting/cane to threaten and will avoid that as much as possible
 
Discipline
It's getting harder when they're bigger now.... everyday I feel like I'm doing a bad job at parenting. They don't listen, or more like choose not to listen to me. Only my girl would and cry when she was not allowed to do certain things. The boys ignore me and continue on what they are doing, then I have to physically remove them from where they were /what they were doing. Looks like I'm gonna be a naggy mother.

My babies are still learning to stand unsupported, yet they like to do stunts like these.... *faintz* My boys.
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re: discipline
i'm on the same page as AdelineL and am not comfortable using the cane or threatening (just my opinion and not criticising anyone's parenting style)...i've been reading this book called "the science of parenting" and it actually says that at this age (1 year), babies can understand no, but most don't have enough control to stop doing what they're not supposed to do, not because they're naughty but because they're brains are still not developed enough to inhibit themselves to doing what's "dangerous" to us. don't think they even understand the concept of "danger"!!

like adeline pointed out, i think consistency is most important, whichever method you choose to adopt and everyone in the family has to be on the same page so the child doesn't get confused...

tristan can be quite stubborn and when i remove him from something/an activity that is dangerous, will scream and wail like slaughtering chicken. i think sometimes, he also likes the attention when we tell him off....or "scold" him! recently he also started doing this "blinking eye thing followed by AH!" (as if scolding us back) so i figured the "scolding" is not working at all cos obviously, he thinks it's funny and will imitate us!

i find distraction works best for me! when tristan used to climb up and downs his toy boxes and we scold him/pull him away, he'll wail and wail because he simply doesn't understand why we're removing him from something "fun". now, i just take a favourite book/toy (when he's climbing the box), wave it in front of him and ask him if he wants to play with me, give him my hand as a gesture to come down from the box and not climb further and it works most of the time! i try to avoid power struggles with him.... but it's can be challenging if i'm really frustrated sometimes hehe!
 
Lefty: My goodness... Who's the daredevil/next-Jackie-Chan in Yellow?

Try saying, I'm gng to "do things/cook", no one will come if you fall, then go hide just behind the door and see if they come down?

For me, I use cane and "whoosh" liao... If still not scared, cane once on open palm, not too hard, but enuff to make them know what's pain. Tell them NO, point to the box lid and say NO CLIMBING. I can repeat this 3 times, from cane open palm to saying NO. :p After 3 times, means bye bye and in the playpen - provided they won't climb out of playpen.

Hahaha. We got few parenting styles here which you can try and adapt to your own preferences.

There's no one style fits all, so don't be too hard on yourself yah. I believe there is no such thing as good or bad parenting. Parenthood is a on the job experience. Follow your instincts and I believe with time everything will eventually be smooth sailing.
 
lefthander
i like the pics of the boys, hehe, esp when they look innocently into the camera
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thanks for the offer, i think i have enough after adding Kell's s&s stamps =)

happygal29
hmm..maybe u can PM me ur consultant's name , actually when i see ur bday pic, i feel u r quite slim, how many kgs do u hope to lose, so 3k so far still have any $ left to continue the sessions ? hehe, wana see losing 5kg needs how much $

Discipline
my hb believes in using the rod..to hit the air only..tat is for my 1st child

Kyzac is still too young, will start after 2 yrs bah

rite now, we will say nono when he touch the cables etc , kelicia will enforced that by repeating the nono and start syaing didi notti :p

if kyzac dun listen, we said, notti boys go inside Playpen..and in he goes ;)

tat makes him really upset..poor chap
 
lefty
they look so cute though haha! but dangerous! anyway i think many babies are testing us to see what's the limit we can take :p sometimes i get so fed up that i just leave baby in his playpen to cry and just ignore him for a few minutes :p
 
btw, my aunt shares with me she saw this little boy throwing a tantrum at Tanglin Mall, insists he wants to buy something..

wat impresses her is the mother very calmly and patiently & coolly talk and explain to him for 30 minutes without losing her temper

after listening to her naration, i feel impressed too and hope to take a leaf fr there
 
Babypink: Wow, Kyzac has a nice temperament. You tell Phoebe to go into Playpen, she crawl into another room. -_-||'

Its so cute how the different little beings behave. Hahahaha

Did I post this? - She likes to push the switches on TV. Last Sat she went to press to a static channel, then she gave a scream and crawl and hide. Found out she's scared how come the black and white dots will talk! Wahahahaha

Told her don't play w TV switch and she has to scare herself. This is call Chi Ying Bu Chi Ran - learn things the hard way.
 
kell - yeah, you're right on the part that there's no good/bad parenting, unless of course the parent is extreme...like spoil the kid really rotten to the core, or anyhow abuse the kid!!! but honestly, i'm very afraid of bringing my kid up the wrong way and causing major impacts on him as a person...
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so hard to know what's right or what's wrong to do....cos each baby is different too! if only it's as easy as reading a tv or some equipment manual hahaha!

btw, phoebe looks so so docile and guai! i dun think i'll have the heart to piak her also...hehe!

bbpink -
i've seen quite a few "negotiating and calm" parents and sad to say, most are caucasians. the ones that i see screaming at their child or worse, smacking/pulling the child's hair in public all chinese leh....

my auntie who takes care of tristan, who's a retired childcare teacher told me that tristan has a "hard" character so i shouldn't be hard back to him or it'll be a power struggle on whose harder. she told me for a kid like him, dun scold or hit because that will teach him that scolding/hitting is the way to solve things when they don't get their way....

last time i got tell her i wanna buy cane put at home and she say CANNOT because she says unless i can be unemotional and not use the cane in a fit of anger....better dun buy in case anyhow whack in a pique of anger and then regret.....i think as parents, we hit the kids but pain in our hearts! my dad slapped my sister only once and up till today, he still shake his head and says he regrets it (even though my sister don't even remember it)!!
 
I agree they are all about pushing boundries, pushing buttons and in my babies' case pushing each other as well.
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I have "sensitive" babies; if I scold them fiercely they will not "forgive" me and will take the whole day to reconcile and their revenge is at night i.e. waking up more, crying ++ remembering what had happened. ARGH!!! Very bad retribution. No caning yet ok! Just scold fiercely. I see the pattern I can't take it. So now I just firmly say no, stare at them, shake my head, if they ignore I remove them from what they were doing and say "mommy say no" and give them something else to play with. If they decide to throw tantrum I just leave them on the floor while they "breakdance" . Ignore them for a while then pick them up. If I watch them breakdancing the "dance" and "music" often got longer.

I used to get kan-chiong whenever I see them do stunts like that and will shout "Adil/Akil NO!"...then the worst thing is when they get startled and you fear they lose their grip and fall and it's your fault. So now I don't shout anymore, I just get my phone camera. Hahahahahah!
 
i have this low display shelf. i always tell alex, "no" when he goes near it. if he touches anything on the shelf, i will give a light pat on his hand and promptly remove him. must be consistent. so now he v seldom will touch the things on the display shelf or he crawls past it. i will tell him, "no" for other things and he will pause whatever he's doing 90% of the time.
 
shop4stuffs
Queries about walker????

lefty
Cool mum huh~

Nowadays I also not as kan chiong with Rhys as with my 2 older boys.. But on the contrary, hubby becomes more kan chiong.. Last time he like those bo chap wan, but now he will follow behind Rhys when he was walking and will grumble at me as he did this 'look after him lehx, later fall down how, u keep watching TV, everytime dun care about him.....' on & on & on... Until he kenna scolded by my MIL.... Haha.. Even MIL also find him a kan chiong spider, naggy old man~
 
Hi Isa
my boy is going 6mths and now cant seems to put him on rocker coz he wants to flip too and so tiring to keep caryying him on lap. so thought of putting him walker. have heard so much against walker but our parents have also brought us up this way right? so wondering if any mummies have used walker for their bb and hows things so far? and how many mths then put bb in walker?
 
Hi Shop4stuffs,
My gal has some feet probs and phsiotherapist said no walker.

I read up on walkers in this forum. Some mummies say walkers help ease off carrying babies. But don't put babies in it for like half a day, which is too long a period.

HtHs
 
kell....thanks will make sure not to place boy there for too long...do you mean your gal have feet prob due to walker or having prob thus walker is not suitable for her?
 
shop4stuffs
My kids were all brought with with the help of walkers. Actually as long as the height of the walker is adjuested to the appropriate height, it should do no harm to our babies. And I agree with Kell that we can't put the baby in walker for too long.. No good for them...
 
My bb was born w feet probs. Her feet sort of turn inwards. Now more or less better, but need to go for one last consultation after she walks.
 
Kell
haha, i also wish he is that nice :p

BUT

he cries the mmt he hear the word playpen lah, we just carry him and deposit him there if he inisists on being notti, for example, pushing his playpen repeatedly from outside :p

u r rite, the little ones r cute
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looking at ur naration of Pheobe makes me smile =)

Kyzac is quite a scarymouse, he is scared of a lot of things that kelicia loves when she is his age , this big soft hammer tat makes squeaking sound from Daiso and a singing dog taht shakes fr side to side and sings dancing in the rain with an umbrella

and talking abt TV, my living room TV does not show the scree already, totally black, guess it has died liao

My hubby is very happy abt it though
 
happygal,
What competitive sports do you do?

Kell,
Squats really does help to tone the butt and the thighs without causing big calf muscles. But not easy.... and to tone the fats around the tummy, must do like 100 crunches a day :p

I'm still trying to lose another stubborn 5kg, and having a desk bound job doesn't help much.
 
discipling children
===================
i tried different method on zac , we started off with the no and beat the hand method. It works when he was younger but as he grow older this seem to loose its effect. Now i am using the reasoning method as he is getting more communicative but gosh you needs lots of patience to use this method as i can repeat the same thing over and over again that i feel like a nagging old hag. regardless, i find this method works best with zac at this age, saves him a lots of tears cos last time when i beat him, he will ended up wail like a gal and utimately do not understand the reason behind.

Zac used to like to cry before he sleeps cos he also cant bear to go and sleep and want to prolong his play time. i am quite strict with his bed time and when he start crying i will tell him "its time to go to bed you go to bed, no crying and there is time to do other things when you wake up". This phrase was repeated to him many times till one day my hubby was lying on his bed and he point his finger at him and said " it time to sleep you sleep no crying!" we really have a good laugh. but this goes to show kids are really absorbing every thing we communcate to them.
 
forgot to mention about lele, she basically follows her bro. so i just have to teach zac to do the right thing she will follow. When she refuse to open her golden mouth for porridge i will ask zac to open mouth to show meimei she will follow suits. the headache is when zac teaches her the wrong thing like switching on the tv and fan.
 
lefthander

i like ur post, and i agree they may get startled and lost their grip

i guess it is indeed impt to stay cool when u have 3 of wat we r having :p

i cannot imagine dealing with Triple Kyzacs
 
shaz
i agree with u, i have met pheobe and she look really docile , those obedient and quiet gals =)

and u hit the nail on its head, the lady is a Caucasian

and i do see quite a number of chinese ladies scolding their children loudly in public, when i see such scenes, i remind myself that i must never behave like tat..

when i was growing up, my parents never embarass me in public and i hope tat my children can be likewise as well. Any reprimand should be left indoors

Shirley
yes, for Isaac's age , i agree that communication works most of the time
 

Oh.. volley players have nice bottoms. :D
I dun think u need to go to any slimming centres. Ltr no energy to serve ball.

I have no luck with ball games, but ball like me - like to hit me. LOL
 

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