(2008/03) March 2008

blueskies: ur baby is really handsome... smiley baby.. mine? only muscle reflex then can c him smile.
sad.gif
 


attachment parenting means follow cue fron yr child. i'm nt so much of attachment parenting but a combination of both types

next gathering
Anyone onz for goodwood park lobby for their cakes n durian? a gd place for chat too? Next mon or wed?
 
jenifur,
I follow Prof Shichida, Glen Doman and Dr. Sears in parenting
happy.gif
. It's about lots of love and understanding our own children.
What your #1 is doing to you now, could be he wants your attention and you to accompany him. What I will suggest which many might not agree, is to just spend more time with him, carry and pat him and talk to him to tell him that mommy is tired carrying him, ask him to lie on bed and mommy will pat. Give him what he wants. Ask till he said yes. He will be ok already. Gotta take baby steps to "correct" behaviour. I will recommend "The good behaviour book" by Dr William Sears and Martha Sears. It's a very good book, I find.

My #1 will listen to me when I ask him to do things before I gave birth to the gals. Even when going for classes, he is quite independent unless I had not given him enough attention that day or previous day. Now, after giving birth, I was away from him for 5 days. And when home, I cannot carry him, cannot do things with him, cannot play with him. He dun really listen to me now, but still quite a happy boy. Gotta repeat and repeat. It's kinda like detached... He's more attached to his daddy and porpor now
happy.gif


hmm... I do not believe in spanking. Violence will create violence in them
happy.gif
If a child hit or beat other children when he/she goes to school, very likely the parents also beat them at home. They will learn to associate if I dun get what I want, I just beat up the other person, cos that's how I was treated. Furthermore, now is spanking the backside, next time might be even more when get out of control. They will get so called "naughtier" as they grow up. Violence will create even more violence.

According to Shichida, when a kid is difficult, parents should reflect on themselves
happy.gif
. It's true. Whenever I am tired and frustrated, I will have a cranky and naughty #1.


jerejoy,
You should be able to cope. Believe in yourself
happy.gif
You just need to recognise your baby's cries and cues for their need. You will be fine and will be enjoying parenting
happy.gif
My hubby and I enjoyed parenting so much with #1 till he wants 5 kids now. hahaha... Last time, he only wants 1 kid.

From experience from #1, whenever he needed to be carried when he was very young, we will carry him. We did not let him cry out loud. We will attend to him when he stirred. We had a lot of objections that we should just let him cry, else carrying become a habit. However, after a few days of carrying, he do not need to be carried anymore. It was indeed tiring, but I think worth it. Following Shichida, I feel that the most important is not to let baby keep crying and searching for his needs. Baby's cries is communication. If the parents just refuse to acknowledge the cries, it will reach a point of "communication breakdown". The child becomes "closed". And parents will think that it's good, cos the child is quieter now, not realising it's the child gave up in trying to communicate. This might cause parents-child communication problems in future, and also communication problems with others or lack of confidence in the child. These are the last thing I want in my kids
happy.gif


I do not give pacifier to my #1, and will not be giving it to my gals too
happy.gif
Pacifier can hinder speech development. Some parents give the pacifier because they are afraid of their babies sucking their fingers. I read from GD that babies suck fingers cos they are exploring their fingers. But after the exploration stage, it's due to boredom. So, at a later stage, if baby suck fingers, keep them occupied. That stage will pass
happy.gif


Some of the things that I follow are a bit controversial, especially to our parents' generation. You know, one day, my mum was telling me that she listened to the older generations of not carrying me and my sisters when we were young. When she told me these, I can feel that she's kinda regretting after seeing the "results" in my #1. I told her it's the past already. That time, I had lots of objections and nagging, but me and my hubby insisted in our believes and follow the books.

I also do flashcards and Glen Doman program from birth. I follow "How smart is your baby" by GlenDoman and Janet Doman. Lots of objections when I had my #1 too. ...too young... ...too stressful... ...pity my child... etc etc. Cos all these are very "new". I persisted. Results are showing slowly in my #1 now. He's coming to 2 years old now
happy.gif
Now, everyone asking me if I have started all those things that I had done previously with my two gals! hahaha...
 
lyn
yr #1 sound like my gal too. Many of those who met my little gal will knw how she is like. But then again i am not 100% attachment parenting mother/believer. For me i believe in combination of both. at times i have to be the decision maker. Eg when i wan to go out/mtg with frens, i would not depends on her mood or slpign time. She has to follow my style, thus trained her to sleep in strollers etc etc. I guess i am more of the following types of mom:

- Authoritative
The authoritative style of parenting is often seen as the best. These parents are not particularly firm or permissive. They also will set high standards for their children but leave some of the decision-making up to each child. These parents reason with and listen to their children but don't hesitate to insist on certain behaviors and limits. This parenting style works well with middle-of-the-road children who are neither shy nor aggressive. It helps children develop a sense of independence and self-sufficiency

In some cases where i feel no harm then i will follow wat my gal wants and her needs. Of cos following Maslow's hierarachy of Needs, i will have to satisfy her basic needs first.
 
<font size="+2"><font color="0000ff">Mini Gathering (Let's have 2 next week)</font>

<font color="ff6000">Date: 21 April (Mon)
venue: Good wood park lobby
Time: 1.30pm

Interested:
1. Abcdisney n bb</font>

=================================================

<font color="aa00aa">Date:23 April (Wed)
Venue: vivo city
Time: 1.30pm
Meeting place (TBC)

Interested:
1. abcdisney n bb</font></font>
 
abc mummy,
I also "train" my boy to sleep in stroller when out. I also go out often, sometimes whole day :p I will sling when he wanted, but not anymore now. Now, after giving birth to the gals, I seldom carry #1 already, but I will give him hugs. Do you still carry your gal?
 
Lyn,

Really appreciate yr time in giving these precious advices. They are very encouraging and urge me to hv more patience and confidence in myself. I even copied and paste these advices in my Mac Pages to remind myself. Hehe!
 
jus get my 1st payment for bb bonus.....maybe i know when will get the 2nd, 3rd and 4th payment?? only know is divided into 4times...
 
jerejoy,
I often have to re-read Shichida's books on the expectations of a mother to calm my souls. hahaha... I was an impatient person. Lately, due to lack of sleep taking care of my two gals at nite, I was rather frustrated and impatient towards my #1. I am guilty of that... Today, I let him go to JB with my parents. At least he's very happy there and well taken care of. If left with me, he might be cranky and a difficult child cos I am tired and not prepared to take care of 3 on my own.
Remember, whenever you are frustrated or angry, hide in another room and take a few deep breathes. Then go back to settle the situation when you have calm down. It really works for me. When I am angry with my #1, I will just do the housework and ignore him, or hide in the toilet for a while.
 
Hi lyn

initially wanted to engage a maid for my mum so that when i go back to work, the maid can help out looking after no1 and my mum can concentrate on the baby. but my mum is quite skeptical on maid so the idea was shelved. After trying out 2 weekends of taking care the 2 of them on my own, i think my mum does need a maid if nt she will be tired out. So i have booked a maid but will be coming only next month.

Adeline
Good for you, at least there is a childcare at your blk so convenient.me still cracking my brain which one to send zac and also convince my parents to send him there. haiz my parents bu fan xin zac go childcare scared he kena bully

Attachment parenting
=====================
This is my first time knowing this but i guess all of us does practice this in one way or another. I believe in repetition learning, esp for my son at this age. I agree with Lyn that beating the child does not help. I started off discipling my son by beating his hand but i realise it does not stop him from doing the wrongdoing. After discussion with hubby, we decided to reason with him and to our surprise, repetitive reasoning does work on him. But mind you, it takes time for the reasoning to get into him but i think the effort paid off.

Petrina
My boy is nt a stroller baby, he can sleep in the stroller at most 10 min and it must be in moving motion. I gave up and bought the ergo carrier and whenever i go out with him i will just ergo him and both of us are happier. As he grows older, i started the stroller again as he is too heavy to be carried and he is more willing to sit in the stroller. Every baby is unique, some are more fussy and need more security which explains why they need to be carried more often. I used to envy those mummies whose babies can guai guai sit in stroller and seldom fuss. My hubby told me nt to compare as our son is unique and his needs can be more demanding but he really trained and build up my patience. So now my no. 2 i am more patient and calm and it does rub it on the baby. So Pet, stay calm and happy ya!
 
jerejoy,
You can read Dr. Sears website for some tips. But his books got more details and more useful tips
happy.gif

Last time, before I found Dr. Sears book, I was reading a book by "baby whisperer". I had a very hard time. I followed that book and had a crying baby for days! There are some useful tips in there, but better dun follow all. So I dun recommend that book. So far, Dr. Sears' tips work. He had 8 children and is a PD! He should be an expert in dealing with babies and kids.


clover,
Yes. I am a SAHM. I have a part-time biz too. Sometimes when I get too busy with the biz, I will reflect that my priority of not having a full-time job is to nurture my kids. Cannot get too engrossed in other things.
I do flashcards daily with my #1. Flashing the cards is very easy and fast. It's the preparation that is very time consuming!


Shirley,
Choose a maid that can do housework for your mum. Really need someone to do housework. With 1 only, I am already exhausted - housework, cooking, teaching, going for classes, etc etc... loads to do. When I was pregnant, I pop lots of supplement cos I only eat one meal a day. I do not even have time to eat. I gotta live in a less clean home, cos I do not mop the floor everyday. Wash the toilets only when really "buay tahan". hahaha... Hopefully I am in luck, can get a good maid to do all the housework
happy.gif
Then we will be living in a very clean home again
happy.gif


I am also into reasoning with my son now. It does works.


Okie dokie... just finished my lunch.. gotta go already
happy.gif
 
sleeping on tummy
i let my bb sleep on his tummy for the first time today and surprisingly he sleeps v well with this pos and his body jerks less. i did a quick search on Internet and found that this sleeping pos is linked to SIDS. i wonder if its too early to let him sleep in this manner coz he cant support his head well enough yet.
 
hi ladies,

any idea how long should a 4wks plus bb sleep?

my son seems to wake up every 2+hrs at night for feeding and after feed he doesnt go to sleep immediately and we will have to cuddle him for 45mins.

also how much do you pay ur mum who is doing the confinement for u
 
lyn
Thanks for sharing! You mentioned that you have been flashing cards to your #1 since birth. But my bb is mostly sleeping, how do I do that? We tried showing him black/white/red cards but just couldn't get his focus.
 
lyn
yes I will carry her but for a while jus to show my affection for her. I gv her lots of hugs n kisses. in fact I m glad there's no sibling rivalry betw them.

reasoning
yes i'm alSo into reasoning n yes it does take a lot of patience ...
 
Timsum sound good...can we have a gathering n hav tim sum? more pp can order more varieties of timsum..how? any suggestion of timsum place?

vivo city

i dun like their nursing room...small n hard to find
 
clover,
Just keep watch on your boy for the first few days. After a few days he will be able to lift his head to turn. Let him practice lifting his head while you watch.


tsukushi,
Whenever there's opportunity. eg. change diaper time, changing time, etc. U just need 5 second maximum each time. Only one card each time. For my gals now, I am using B&amp;W checker board. I put at the cot. So far, when they are awake, they will stare at the board. They seems interested
happy.gif

It will take time to build concentration and interests. And lots of encouragement and energy from your part. "Stop the cards before your bb wanna stop".
happy.gif
Flashcards sessions need lots of patience too and there will be some ups and downs too.


abcdisney,
I am also hoping there's no sibling rivalry in future
happy.gif
. My boy will kiss his sisters on the cheeks just like we kiss him.
 
katechow,
So far, best nursing room that I like are Paragon, suntec n Tangs. I frequent paragon n suntec cos of the nursing room. hahaha... easy to find one is marina square. Plenty of them.


sgblingff,
Find nursing room. If cannot find, just feed at one corner lor... I breastfed my #1 for 13 months, so a bit "buay pai sei" already :p
 
kate,
let's go toa payoh fortunate restaurant for the dim sum.. as bbpink has said, got 30% discount.

if next week alrdy have two gatherings, maybe can make the dim sum gathering this week like thurs or fri? have more since many of our maternity leave will be ending soon next month.
 
sgblingff

Get a nursing shawl and then come to one of the many gatherings that the March mommies organise
happy.gif
hehehe.. you'll get "on-the-spot" training from all the mommies who BF. They even have matching shawls

Check out abc's photos of last week's gathering
 
<font face="Calisto mt"><font color="0000ff">Lyn,

Thanks for all your tips. Now I've to persuade HB to stop using "Mr. Cane" on #1. I nv approved of his method but he keep saying even our Church Senior Pastor encourage cane. He always say - Spare e Rod &amp; U spoilt e child *sigh*

When I share w him bout all e shut-out syndrome etc as shown on e web, he jus said all these r -ve things to worry ppl, we shld jus leave everything to GOD.

I'm now trying to b more patient w #1 too. Trying to understand her needs for more attention. She luvs to disturb me when I'm in e midst doing stuff w Josiah. Eg She will ask to go toilet/drink water etc when I'm bfing Josiah. If I ask her to wait awhile, she will bcome v sad.

I don't think there's sibling rivalry yet. She's been kissing &amp; hugging Josiah &amp; she's always e 1st to run to him when he cries. So is tis another case of wanting attention or wan to b involve?

Will go grab a Dr. Sear's book soon, can I get it from Kinokuniya?</font></font>
 
Hi all,
yea, really enjoyed the gathering yest! Love meeting all the mummies and their babies! My baby has sooo many friends now! hee...

Next gathering, The dim sum at fortunate restaurant not yummy one!!

Durians... quite heaty right? later baby poo very pain...!
 
Jenifur
my kim same as ur #1.. lol..
when ask her to wait she will cry and throw tantrum but then again, she love kissing and hug #1.
Always 1st to run to #2 when she cries as well.
She will wipe baby's mouth after i finish bf..
 
lingyee
other than durian gt other cakes too. anyway most impt is to find a place to sit n chat.. it's d company tat counts.

tim sum
I m fine too. jus say when.

vivo
kate, we can always use shawl during bfing . dun hv to go to their nursing room. even if go, jus to change diaper ma.
 
everytime to latch my baby on is like having a battle .. i wonder if nursing shawl is good enuff for my bb and i to be discreet!!! haha.

how to make ur baby guai guai to latch on?

abc, u hv motherenvogue privilege card oredi?

lyn, what are the flash cards that you are using? you really give ur children EARLY Start!
 
ANYONE INTERESTED TO ATTEND?

Mom's Chat (After the Kids are in Bed)

Tuesday, 22 April 2008

Topic: Meridian Wellness
Speaker: Cai Yu Tong

The Moms Chat (After the Kids are in Bed) discussion forum is fun, casual, and informative. Please join us for a relaxing evening at a member's home for friendly conversation, light snacks and drink. Our discussion topics vary, but we always have fun and enjoy getting to know other moms who are also juggling personal, family and professional commitments. You do not need to be working to attend. All moms and moms-to-be are invited.

This month's topic:
For thousands of year, meridian and acupressure massage have been used for invoking the body’s natural self-healing capabilities. Learn about how it can help combat common ailments that we face in our everyday lives and maintain good health. This introductory talk on Meridian Wellness will be presented by Cai Yu Tong, which specializes in conducting workshops to teach these D.I.Y. massage techniques that have benefited many people and their families.


Date: Tuesday, 22 April 2008


Time:
8.00 pm onwards
Flexible arrival and departure time. Please see agenda below.


Venue:
Felicia Madrigal's house at 5 Pasir Panjang Hill, 118829.
Tel: 9829-5562 or 6729-2110.

From the AYE, take South Buona Vista towards West Coast Road. Turn right on Pasir Panjang Road one block before the intersection with West Coast Road. Take next right onto Pasir Panjang Hill. We are the white house on the left where the road curves to the left. Street parking is permitted above our house.


Price:
Nominal donation of S$10 member, S$15 non members to hostess to help defray the cost of refreshments.


RSVP:
RSVPs are requested to plan for refreshments and handouts for each attendee.
Please RSVP to Felicia Madrigal directly via email [email protected].

NEED TO CANCEL? To cancel, please contact Felicia on her handphone at 9829-5562.




Agenda

8.00 - 8.45 pm
Flexible arrival time, networking, individual questions
8.45 - 9.15 pm
Talk by Yu Tong. Please be prompt!
9.15 - 9.45 pm
Plenty of time for questions and mingling
9.45 pm+
Relaxed, informal networking until our hostess kicks us out!


Spread the word about the PrimeTime Mothers Support Group!
If you have friends you would like to introduce to PrimeTime and the Mothers Support Group, this is a good opportrunity for them to join us in one of our Moms Chats events. Guests living in Singapore are allowed to attend one PrimeTime subgroup meeting or event before becoming a member. PrimeTime members are given priority consideration as there is limited space at this event.
 
<font color="0000ff">hi all...
din post for super super long already.. so how is all the mummies doing....

btw i remember i read earlier posting of some the bb had been jaundice for long and advise me anot... my gal still down with jaundice.. had just send her blood to test whether is the liver immature or there are blockage....

btw how it increase bfg supply... haiz... my supply now just enough for feeding... haha not more to pump out but in 2 week time i'm need to go for exam....
</font>
 
jenifur,
I think it's a case of wanting attention. If not handled carefully, will cause sibling rivalry in future, but you have a good start there
happy.gif
There's a chapter in "The good behaviour book" on sibling rivalry
happy.gif
Maybe you can get her involved. How to be involved, I dunno, cos I am still figuring that out
happy.gif
Maybe you can share with me when you found out
happy.gif

Yes, I got mine from Kinokuniya
happy.gif



adeline,
Your #1 is so sweet... Can help to wipe bb's mouth...
happy.gif



Sheryl,
I invested in Glen Doman set. Words can only start when baby can see well. About 3 months old. Most start words at 6 months, according to the boss I bought the set from
happy.gif



CaiYuTong,
Wow... You give talks... But what is it all about? Which company are you working for?
 
poshies
I once had a prob like u or even worse. when bb din latch n jus pump, I can only express 40ml. after visiting dr kang, tis is wat she suggested. when bb latch, pump d other side too at d same time, ie tandem pumping. after bb finish drinking , continue to use dual pump to stimulate yr breast. nvm if no milk produce, jus massage n pump both breast together for another 15min . she recommend me to gt handsfree so tat I can go online or read a book during d 15min . nw after latching, I still able to gt another letdown n when bb din latch n I jus do expressing, I can gt abt 85-100ml of milk.

jaundice
my bb 2 mth still hv a bit of jaundice . so long pass d liver test it shld b ok. dun worry.

mothersenvogue
yes I hv d member. anyone wan to use pls sms or email me. entitled to 10%.

sheryl
practice makes perfect! when they r older they will b latching easier n faster
 
Lyn,

Thanks for sharing all yr precious experiences and info. They are really v useful. My bb woke up 2 times in the middle of the night n I managed to settle him back to sleep very fast by being patience and remembering the advices u hv taught. They are really useful. Thank you so much! Hugz!
happy.gif
 
abc, yr boy still seeing dr terence tan? I called his clinic for some qn fr monday and up till now he still hasn't call back. kinda disappointed in him...
 
Hi mommies,

Saw that some of you have faced problems with CL and asked them to leave early. I don't have major upfront conflict with her, but I think we both know I cannot stand her. How do you put it across to her? And how do you pay her, as in how to prorate the payment? Thanks for advice.
 
clover
no. only c him for jaundice tat's all. still prefer dr ong fr aglow. dr tan too busy n long waiting hrs. dun like to wait unless urgent. but he specialise in respiratory medicine thus *touchwood* if he gt bronchitis or respiratory prob then bring him to dr tan.
 
abc, thanks that sounds encouraging.. hopefully that means i'm not alone. lol.

lyn, thanks for the info abt the flash card. at the moment, my hubby is providing the educator role, whereas i'm providing the caregiver cum feeding role - enough to be a full time job.
 
Responding to baby's cries is biologically correct. A mother is biologically programmed to give a nurturant response to her newborn's cries and not to restrain herself. Fascinating biological changes take place in a mother's body in response to her infant's cry. Upon hearing her baby cry, the blood flow to a mother's breasts increases, accompanied by a biological urge to "pick up and nurse." The act of breastfeeding itself causes a surge in prolactin , a hormone that we feel forms the biological basis of the term "mother's intuition." Oxytocin, the hormone that causes a mother's milk to letdown, brings feelings of relaxation and pleasure; a pleasant release from the tension built up by the baby's cry. These feelings help you love your baby. Mothers, listen to the biological cues of your body when your baby cries rather than to advisors who tell you to turn a deaf ear. These biological happenings explain why it's easy for those advisors to say such a thing. They are not biologically connected to your baby. Nothing happens to their hormones when your baby cries.

Source: Dr Sears.
 
<font color="0000ff">Gathering</font>

my apologies .i just remember that Fortunate Resturant in Toa Payoh have no lift or escalator, but a flight of stairs..paiseh paiseh..so that place not bb friendly ..

<font color="0000ff">thanks</font>

wanna thanks aly &amp; babe_dude for lending me their maid's hands , all the ladies for generously offering their strollers to lend me when my hand ached on wednesday =) and abc for helping me to push the stroller and up the escalators

without all ur help, bbpink's bare hands would not have survive
happy.gif
 


Hi babypink,

regarding the 5 in1,what is the name of the last dose which u had paid for??cos heard 5 in 1 only have 3 doses??
 

Back
Top