(2008/02) Feb 2008 MTBs

bbkgal/artemis/garfield/tute : we gave her water when she was very young too and she can drink alot.

but recently she got into this everything-also-don't-want phase. don't want to eat, don't want to shower, don't want to sleep, don't want to drink, don't want to poo/pee (in potty nor toilet).....

really at war everytime we when we want to bathe her or make her poo....

we are giving her fresh milk (think she likes it cos it cold !). she doesn't like honey, doesn't like ribena, forget about water...

bbkgal: we give papaya, banana, and other fruits too. prunes at times. hv not tried prune juice. where can i find probiotics ?

garfield: for me now, i think would be no.2 !! no.3 wld be a BONUS ! hehe ;p
 


diana
guess they're at the stage where they want to assert themselves. it's tough trying to get them to cooperate!

re FDW
so many horror stories :S but next time when my ILs can't help anymore, i think i also got no choice, otherwise how to cope??
 
Hi Diana,
K went thru the "don't want, don't want" phase too. This happened a month after I delivered. I think it was a way to get our attention and make us coax, beg, persuade her more. Everything dun want. Dun struggle with them. I just let her be (not ignore her but just leave her) and after awhile, she started to come back, get out of the phase and decided that wanting was more fun than not wanting. For things like showering, eating, I will make games for her and she started to enjoy the fun. Other things like dun want to nap etc, I just let her tire herself out, she will eventually nod off or go to bed earlier. Dun worry it's just a phase, probably in reaction to your new arrival
happy.gif
 
Hi bkkgal,

After our first maid quit on us, my HB and I bought those IDD calling cards, went to 12 different agencies and called up those maids whom we thought fitted our criteria. Questions we asked them:

1. Have you ever worked as a maid? (We were looking for someone who worked as a maid in their native country.)
2. Why did you leave your previous employer? (This is more to test their level of English and also to see if they would bad mouth their previous employers.)
3. Do you know how to:
a. Prepare FM? Describe.
b. Change diaper? Describe.
(This is also to test their level of English and their hygenie levels :p You will be surprised at how many who told us they will just change the old with the new.)
4. Why do you want to come to Singapore to work? (This is where we weed out those who tell us stuff like: come to experience a different country [they are not here for a tour!], Singapore is a nice place to work [seriously, I doubt the sincerity of this], I have to put my brothers/sisters to school [my maid's answer])
5. Do you have any friends or relatives in Singapore? (We do not want her to socialise with other people in Singapore.)
6. No off day, no mobile phone okay? (This is not an option for us. If they reply no, then we move on to another candidate.)

:p Seems like a lot of work but well better to be hard working now then suffering later.
 
Probiotics - I bought from Vitakids the brand called Culturelle which is dissolved in liquids. At the PD, can buy the chewable probiotics tabs called BioGaia.
 
ARtemis,
yup yup, I asked those questions too
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No. 3 I always ask Do you know how to cook (impt for us), Do you know how to ride bicycle, Do you handle pork. Standard answer "YES" to all.
No. 4 always seems like a standard answer (I need to earn $$ to support family).
No. 5 always dun know anyone but come here already, u find their whole village already here in Balestier, hougang, AMK, tampines lah.
 
diana,
if DD is not drinking water, it may also cause constipation. try to intro extra fluids like soups, juicy fruits (more of these if she likes eg. water melon) and also diluting milk by adding extra water.

i know what you mean re the daily battles. i'm facing the same. i have to use characters she likes such as barney, dora - to persuade her to do the things i want her to do. like barney is going to bed already....dora is going to brush her teeth etc etc

iso, bkk,
i have checked out part time nanny rates, in case either of you wanna consider this option. it's definitely more expensive in terms of $$ but i think there are advantages of not hvg live-in help also.

free lance nanny
- charges $10 to $12/hr

nanny agencies (nanny comes to your home)
- mon to fri 8am to 6pm = $1,500
- mon to fri half day = $1,000
 
i also have a daunting task at hand....training my MIL to be a capable / independent caregiver for J.

BOLIAO QUESTION NO. 2 FOR THE WEEK

Who is easier to "train" to be caregiver for our kids

MAID or MIL muahahahahaha.....
 
gar,
i use the same method !! hahaha.. e.g. only "eeyore" can ask C to take his blanket or only "thomas" can tell him to go and take his bath... :p

re:maid,
hearing the things here, made me think maybe i should be more strict with my maid. i'll draft house rules now (2 years too late for this i know, but better to start somewhere?)

artemis,
danica has a good appetite
happy.gif
 
gar
ooh thanks, that's useful info!
what is the job scope for nannies? i think i will need someone to cook and clean the house more, if i have to go out, i can probably get someone to watch and help out.

bkk
do you find they poo better with probiotics? E hasn't been very regular recently either...
 
iso,
oh, i did enquire previously with those amah on wheels type of coy. i said if i wanted a part timer to come to clean the house plus some light bb-sitting tasks can or not. they said can. charges are $12 an hour.

for so-called nannies, chores are supposed to be bb related chores...eg. looking after bb, wash clothes, prepare meals, clean up etc. but i think depending on the nanny can chum siong also.

if you only need one meal a day to be cooked (eg. dinner) then should be quite ok, get help to come in from 4 to 8pm (to do housework + cook + wash up after that)?
 
super dad awards

i wanna nominate my hb...but i scared he won't be happy. have a damn funny video clip of him rocking J to sleep in left arm and shaking the yaolan with right hand to lull A to sleep at the same time.

another is a photo of him carrying A on his back with the ergo carrier, and J in front with the baby bjorn.

you gals think he stands a chance of winning? if i nominate him must help support k?
bounce.gif
 
hi ladies...

Maid problems
Thanks to all...else think i'll have gone crazy with my 2 maids already.

bkkgal,
yah, mine #2 maid also give me a black/no expression face. or rather, a 'professional face'. she's been doing her required duties but without real heart, not happy, not sad, but can tell something brewing in the brain. at least with #1, during better days, can tell she was genuninely happy/blur. #2 looks like the type who can bear to pour detergent into drinking water without batting an eye.

Qn:what happenes if the maid wants to go back before the loan repayment is agent is finished? cos we employers have already paid up all in advance already mah?

Is it true that at any point in time when the maid wants to rtn, we have to pay for air ticket?
 
Mummies
My maid just came and cry again and want to go back!!! aarrgghh!!!!! No good reason given. Just say she no heart, cannot concentrate on work. WTF???!

I have the same question as you Piglettail! I haven't paid the loan yet thankfully but do I have to pay her airfare? Usually I deduct the airfare from the salary schedule.

Iso
the probiotics makes her poo more regularly.

Super dad awards
I will support!!
 
bkk,
if she is the one who quits - it can't be that you are the one who is suppose to provide airfare right? like that - shouldn't she be the one who needs to pay airfare? i thought they only earn the airfare after completing the full contract?

gar,
respect to your hb! i don't think even i can do that :p i'll support
happy.gif
 
bkk/piglettail - o dear, how come the maids keep giving both of u trouble? really disheartening eh..my maid is still ok so far, just sotong sotong, but still relatively hardworking. This kind of luck is really harder harder then "tio" 4D i suppose, hopefully she kuai kuai and stays this way till her 2 yrs contract is up. But then i think my maid's life is relatively easy cos she doesn't have to cook since i dun wana risk my hse burning in flames (she is still not very apt in switching on the stove in my hse). She does a lot of cleaning only in the morning and evening, cos noon time is nap time for the kids in my mum's place, so have to be quiet, so she usually stays in her room for a few hrs till they wake up.

gar - i will support
happy.gif
!
 
Hi bkkgal,

No. 3: I really got no hope of getting a maid who CAN cook the style of food that my HB and I like. lol... So I gave up asking that. After all, if they can cook their own country style food, does not mean they can cook our style or enjoy doing that for the matter. I enjoy cooking but not washing up. :p So my maid gets to "watch" my performance and clean up. However, she did pick up some dishes from watching me. But my HB complain that she over or under cooks stuff and she is absolutely hopeless with seafood. The other time she cooked fried sambal prawns, I ended up with 2 days of diahorrea cause the prawns were under cooked (I have a very delicate stomach :p).

No. 4: I got answers like I want to see the world @@, I want to check out the country @@, I want to make money to raise my son/daughter, I want to make money to support my parents, etc. I believe that if they are supporting family, and they are the only ones doing it, they are more responsible. i.e. the eldest in the family with old parents and younger siblings or children.

No 5. : Normally when they hear No. 6, they will give themselves away. What if I need to visit ... ? I thought you no friends or relatives in Singapore? ... :D I will explain to them that sending money home is no issue. Either my HB or I will bring them there and they can send whatever amount they want.
 
bkkgal,

my agent says we have to pay for their loan if they wanna go back before the loan period finish. at any point in time, we must pay for their air ticket. this applies even if i threw my maid to jail, after jail i still have to pay to repariate her.

dunno how true or this is only the terms set out by my agent?
 
RE: maids wanting to go home before loan is up

Normally, agents will take back this maids and attempt to give them to other employers as transfer maids.

Before the maid is transferred, you are still liable for everything, i.e., daily meals and lodging with the agent if you are not putting them up at your home, their salary and maid levy. Once your new maid is here, the remainder of whatever the maid leaving owes is deducted from the new maid's loan and you "top" up from there.
 
Hi piglettail,

That is the terms and conditions of the agency which you will have to check. By right, if you are getting your new maid from the same agency, what I had wrote is what they would offer you. Otherwise, you can complain them to CASE or whichever agency they are affiliated with.

However, if you want to send the maid home, then yes, you will have to pay for the air fare by MOM rules.

I told my maid very clearly that if she wants to go home before the contract is up, she will have to pay for her own air fare but if she completes her contract with us and wants to go home, we will pay for the ticket.
 
RE: Everything don't want stage

Danica doesn't really have the everything don't want to stage cause we avoid that by not asking her opinion on things there is no choice on. :p Like when it's time for her bath, we just tell her go change, change, time to bath.

If you don't ask, she cannot say don't want. :D

Of course, other areas that can be compromised, we will give her a choice. Like which shoes you want to wear, etc. Even if she chose something that totally clashes with what she was wearing if we advised her and she still insisted, we let her be.

RE: Everything I do myself

lol... Danica has the problem of I want to do everything myself. Eat, brush teeth, bath, wear clothes, wear shoes. :p Sometimes, I let her do it and it's really comical like shirt inside out or wrong way around and shoes on the wrong foot (but she is slowly getting better). Not sure if I should insist on her doing things properly or let her potter on her way?
 
Hi Artemis,

thanks! Yes, that is the scenario for my maid #1-agent took her back to transfer out. they said if i want to send her back, i have to 1) pay for airfare 2)pay her loan outstanding. but plus point is i can cancell the work permit thus stop paying the levy.

with transfer case, i still pay the levy (cap at 1 month), her food/lodging at agent for 1 month. but loan and salary is freezed.

am just wondering what happens should #2 quit on me before loan is up? if she wants to go back? do u mean i can dictate whether to make her pay for her airfare or not, if she wants to go back before the loan/contract is up?
 
RE: maid's airfare

According to MOM's ruling, we have to provide the air fare home no matter what. This is to prevent those "evil" employers who send their maids back using their own salary after they finish their contract. Cause the air fare can be quite expensive.

But I think they fail to think it from employer's point of view as well... If they suddenly quit on us when the contract is for 2 years, why should we be paying? I do not feel that I should be responsible for another adult's decision to leave their friends, family behind to work in another country for a higher paying job and later realise they were wrong?

If they commit a crime and NEEDS to be repatriated, I believe we don't have to pay for their air fare. But if it is a petty crime, then I believe we are still obliged to pay. @@ I feel so unfair to us normal employers. So my agent actually advised me on how to talk to the maid so that she understands if she quits, she pays no matter what.
 
gar
hmm the 4-8pm thing that sounds like a pretty good idea! i'll see how things go after my maternity. apart from all the headaches, we wouldn't mind a FT maid, but our place is tiny, and hubs wants to put her in the bomb shelter...
these PT nannies, where did you find them? agencies also?

super dad
wow! impressive! i'll vote! who says men can't multitask?
happy.gif


artemis
let her try whatever she wants to do, but offer assistance when needed, like shirt wrong way or wrong shoes. otherwise they'll get discouraged.
 
Hi piglettail,

While it is not very ethical (cause you may not wish to subject another family to your maid), I would recommend transferring her out if she has not finished paying her loan. Cause that way, the agent can deduct the loan outstanding from your new maid loan and you only need to top up. If #2 (touch wood) also quits before the loan is up, then the cycle continues on until the agent cannot provide another maid or you reach the yearly quota (I believe the current one is 5). At which point, it will be up to the agency's terms and conditions.
 
bkkgal, my maid did that to me when she was 2 weeks old too over the fried rice incident. Not sure if you remember. Anyway, I called the agent. She came and scolded her left, right, centre (frightening even RaeAnne) about her loan and conclusion, she decided to stay cos she can't sell land or house or body to repay the agent. (my agent's words, not mine hor. ;P)

Gar, go for it. I thought of nominating my hubby too. But I know he's the super shy type, won't be keen. Plus with a maid, not as easy to win. Yours definitely got more hope.
happy.gif
 
super dad,
hehe..thanks mums for your support in advance! actually when i filmed him in action last month, already wanted to submit to stomp or something. then stumbled upon this super dad thingy. now i need to convince hb to allow me to nominate. later he FBB =P

pauline,
so long as hb is not against it should be ok. don't need him to say ok right? i oso don't expect hb to say ok, if he doesn't say no can already.

artemis, sunny
it's something that abbott is organizing. they are advertising in SMH. there's a banner that you can click on the top of our page.

handling defiant todds,
just nice, came across the article. share it here. http://www.babycenter.com/0_defiance-why-it-happens-and-what-to-do-about-it_63678.bc

maid woes,
i am really dumbfounded by all the antics that these FDWs can be up to! who says they are "naive and innocent" from backward parts of xxx countries. hope that you find good maids eventually.
 
Gar, yes and it'll make a nice Father's day present for him.
happy.gif


Finally got my photos for the Bambini photo shoot on May Day at Changi Village Hotel and Changi beach. Like them very much. Got over 70 of them and the photos are too big to resize and post here. So, please visit my blog to see some favourite photos. www.anewpiggy.blogspot.com
happy.gif
 
pauline,
nice pics !! especially like the family pic and raeanne's one holding both your hands... she looks really happy
happy.gif
 
Hi Pauline,
Nice pics
happy.gif
Love the one of Raeanne holding ur hands.

Artemis
Thanks for the clarification.

Still waiting for my agent to come back from overseas. Maid sat in my living room crying for an hour until she herself decided to do some work and make herself useful. After that, she behaved like normal helping MIL cook dinner. When I told her agent will come back tmr to talk to her, she just said ok. MIL scared she run away at night, asked hb to lock the door properly. Hai. trouble liao liao.
 
Thanks, bkkgal. Hehe, I don't have a DSLR nor the photo skills to take nice photos. So for me,
Hotel stay - $238++
Bambini photoshoot - $220
But that smile on RaeAnne's face - Priceless
happy.gif
 
hi ladies!!
finally got time to post. yesterday went back to office to settle some stuff. today working from home. so far baby still feels comfortable in my tummy. no signs of popping yet.

pauline,
nice photoshoot! will consider going for one when #2 is bigger. but hb is apprehensive coz he always thick-skin and thinks he can take nice pics too.
 
diana, think ur gal doesnt wanna eat because she knows that #2 is coming soon.

Garfield, sure i will nominate ur hubby!

re:everything i do myself
artemis, shaun has started this stage long time ago, till today. it's a headache cuz he also wants to make milk himself, so many times got spillover milk powder. he will wear his short himself, but sometimes he couldnt get it and will ask me to help.

Pauline, very nice shots! how i wish to have one too! but hubby said i'm not working liao so must save ,
sad.gif
 
Hi Pauline,

happy.gif
Nice pictures. Love the look on RaeAnne's face while she was running.

Hi Garfield,

Sorry, it was pretty late when I got home last night and I just KOed. :p Will upload the files this evening. Or you don't need already?

Hi tongtong,

Blur blur me looked at the wrong price list. Procosa II should be SGD58 and PhytoEstrin should be SGD40. No wonder I was wondering why they increase price until so hiong. :p

Hi tute,

Danica also got her "Don't feel like eating moments" so I just leave her be. Not all the time she can eat a lot.
happy.gif
But when she feels like it, I just let her have as much as she wants.

RE: eating

I find that when Danica has her meals before us, then we eat, she will be tempted to take food from us to munch again. Not sure if that is a good habit to cultivate?
 
bx, yea still in KL. Dont intend to work unless I have a good offer :p

artemis, where is your workplace now? if i were to get them from u, where to meet u ?

re: eating
artemis, S also eats before us as I want him to finish his proper meal first. after that i will let him eat what we eat, since he eats a lot.
 
pauline,
nice pics =) worth the money spent!

tong,
thks for support in advance =) re pictures, i think it's worth the money spent cos it's capturing memories. if don't take professional pics it's ok, maybe get a good point and shoot camera to capture the growing years yourself.

artemis,
still interested in your documents. please share, but no hurry. thanks
 
tong,
good to spend more time with S. i would love to b SAHM mum too.

re: eating
we also try to feed A first. after that give her what we eat. however, when we dine outside, we will eat together. when she is chewing her food, i will quickly eat.
 
Hi tongtong,

I am at PSA Building but will be able to meet you before work, during lunch or after work at HarbourFront MRT.
happy.gif


RE: eating

I find that Danica got the "what Daddy / Mummy eat is nicer than mine" syndrome. :p If we eat out and order a kid's meal for her. End up it will be my HB or I who eat the kid's meal and she will be eating off our plates.
 
garfield, yeah you are right, i shd ask hubby to shoot more good quality photos . am using my hp to capture now, at least got something hehe.

artemis, oh you are still at harbour front , tot you have changed job and changed location hehe.
 
Bx, tell your hubby he may be the best photographer but he won't be in the photos if he takes them
himself.. Even photographers hire their friends for shoots. ;)

Tongtong, true lor, hubby was not very hot on the idea too but I told him get back all the high res photos, worth it lar.
happy.gif
 
bx...maybe we shud conduct a photoshoot outing. ur hubby shoot my family, my hub shoot ur family.

then everyone will be in photo..and no need to pay money :p

i've been trying to convince my hub to pls put his 'investments' to some use by doing photoshoots. he too lazy. terrible.

Sharing a pic of Ruth @ Alpha Gym taken with his new zoom lens.
3964627.jpg
 
FOOD:

Ruth has her own menu. Usually she will eat her own stuff. If we go McDonald's, she must have hotcakes. She won't take our food....IF she has her hotcakes. If it's lunch and we are at a fast food joint, she only eats fries. Even if we don't order it, i.e. we only have burgers, she will still clamour for us to buy fries! Kids are smart ah.

If we go Sushi Tei (her regular haunt), she will eat Oyako Don, and any type of noodle (hot or cold), and sushi (usually egg, crabstick, flying fish roe.) Chawanmushi and tofu must be mixed into rice. She won't eat it on it's own.

Hawker centre - she takes chicken rice, noodles/bee tai mak with fishball, chwee kway (favourite) without the chai por, fish dishes (fish porridge) etc, and mostly, any type of porridge.

Sounds like she eats quite a lot....but hor...usually if u feed her something different eg teochew porridge instead of normal (cantonese) porridge, she will just PUI the thing out with no warning.

and once she pui, she dun wanna eat liao. *HEADACHE*

WATER:
she seems ok to drink water from time to time...but mostly nowadays, she wants apple juice. will only take a sip of water to oblige us, then clamour for apple juice and kick up a BIG fuss if she doesn't get it.
 


bx...that's cause he just spent a bomb on a new HUGE zoom lens. APparently can capture moments like that faster.

but it's damn troublesome to lug something that big all over the place - while trying to chase/hunt ruth down.
 
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