(2008/02) Feb 2008 MTBs

re maid
i think it is definitely wrong for anyone to treat a child like that. totally unforgivable.

just to give a different perspective. i think that more care needs to be made in terms of selecting a suitable maid. not all maids are cut out to be child caregivers. even i can lose my cool sometimes with my own baby, what more another person who isn't related to my baby at all?

for us mothers who are choosing a maid for the first time, we consciously select and screen maids who are suitable for this care giving role and generally love children.

i think for some families, the maid is already with them and along comes the baby. so even if the maid is not inclined to care for babies, no choice already in the family. hence, maid cannot cope or doesn't like children and it just builds up and errupts like volcano machum what is seen in the video. of course i think there are many other reasons why a maid may behave like that.

so i think maybe it is not completely out of our control to find a "good" maid.
 


gar
yah makes sense.. tiger brand is good? better than zorijushi (i can't spell that...). think i might go down later to take a look if i have some time.

on maids
i haven't seen the youtube video, but i did just read yesterday about this maid who was abused, quite sad also. not that i'm defending the maid, but some of them can be quite poor thing also...
 
iso,
i don't have zojirushi, so cannot comment. but pretty happy with the tiger esp now i know it keeps food warm even out in the cold in tokyo at 10degrees!

maids,
i think every story is complicated...sigh...not all maids are angels, but certainly not all employers are angels either!
 
Hi,

re: maids

I think in the selection of an employee to live and work in one's family, one needs to pay attention to basic character traits. I think the baseline (for me personally) is that this person must have a kind heart, able to forgive and forget, not hold grudges. I think some cases of abuse arises because of employers' unfair treatment towards the maid, the maid bears grudges and maybe that's why they think they are entitled to take it out on their charges?

It is difficult to be able to select someone you barely know on the basis of a CV and photo (which in most cases are forged anyway). Even having a telephone interview does not guarantee anything to the employer. Most of them, eager to land a job, would say yes to anything. As for the traits I listed out above, one can only tell by careful observation of the maid in the first few weeks.

Ultimately, whether you get a good or bad maid, I think 2 factors play a role: 1) It's really luck of the draw and 2) it's how we treat the maid and she will reciprocate.

My 0.02 cents abt maids.
I haven't watched the vdo too cos I'm a scaredy cat!
 
Re : Maids

I tink depends on one's luck & the employers as well as the maid's attitude. Both parties must hv the right attitude and mentality.

bbkgal,

dun watch if u get easily disturbed! i regret watching it! (though abit oni)
 
kitsune_sg,
you also change gynae. Any reason behind?
My experience with TMC isn't very pleasant.

isobellies,
I din know that is the author cos I dun read "men are from mars women are from venus"
 
Garfield,

Welcome Back! Happy for you that your family have a wonderful& relaxing trip together....

Yah... love the two books you recommended last time, especially <<calm and compassionate children>>.

Could you please recommend more books? Thanks a lot!

Hi, Berry

yah...Agree....You're very resourceful mummy.
Appreciate useful info and deep thoughts you share along the time, especially "water play at Zoo"---now it's my gal's most exciting time of the week.

And personally I do like your thought about cuddling &amp; carrying babies instead of using stroller as long as they like..... Yah, do get some insprirations from you---so my hubby and I prefer to carry baby(abandon stroller) as much as possible.

Hi, Esther
Didn't follow much about your previous postings about caregivers of #2.
But feel like to talk with you.....maybe there's other many choices--send Baby to nanny's home, ask nanny to your home, infant care, work part time &amp; etc. And my colleagues and my friends have good maids---some has wonderful maids. But not many has good maids at beginning. It took one of my friends change 3 times to get a good maid. My another friend's 1st&amp; 4th maid is good; but 2nd,3rd are quite bad(3rd one peed at her water cup after she scolded her for mistakes). Maybe you spend more time to hire/train maid &amp; prepare to change her if not up to standard. ^_^ please don't give up your job easily if you love your job....sahm is not a only solution. ^_^
 
Blueginger, my previous gynae has left KKH for TMC so I got 3 choices, find another dr at KKH, go back to her at TMC or find another dr at TMC. So far, I'm not going back to her at TMC cos she totally didn't remember me when I bumped into her at KK and said hi. She didnt make any effort to try to recall as well. So I felt very 'malu' and felt that since she can't be bothered to remember me, why should I bother to go back to her? I 'xiao qi' hor.

Gar, now that your trip is over and 'you jin wu sian'. I must say I thought my HK trip is drama since my whole entourage of 8 got bumped off the CP flight and delayed for 4 hours. Yours even worse, delay of 8 hrs. If it were me, I would have teared my hair out. Thumbs up to you for being so cool and of course Arielle for being so adaptive.
happy.gif
 
Hi Mummies,

Anyone keen pls pm me
happy.gif


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Pauline
u should change gynae if you don't feel a good rapport. it's basic doctor-patient relations to remember your patient right??? i mean like, this person saw you through the pregnancy of 8 months and subsequent postnatal follow up of 2 months. my gynae has an elephant's memory - not only could she remember my fren's wife (who recommended me), she could remember my 2 cousins who delivered with her and the companies they worked with. oh, and she is near retirement or already retired!
 
Gar, welcome back! We must meet up again soon, this time successfully on our own lol! Let me know k? Looks like your trip was great, must a really great experience for you three.
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evil maid- my goodness I shdnt have went to watch that heart-wrentching youtube vid.
sad.gif
I didnt last 2 full min, its too hard to watch, really feel like locking up the maid, grabbing the girl and run away with her! Really really upsetting.
sad.gif


And I cant imagine that any sane/logical mum would abuse the maid, THEN leave her kids alone with the maid?! Its obviously asking for trouble. The maid will sure take it out on the kids, its only a matter of how severely?
Shucks, the kids are the biggest victims.
sad.gif
 
ok i wasn't going to watch the clip, but curiosity got the better of me, and you know what? the video has been removed. phew! heh.

apple
thanks for that! i've been wondering what to do with my old milk bottles which are still in pretty good condition. have emailed them already. it's a lovely site.

gar, berry,
any other books to recommend? hee.
 
Iso, I was browsing my amazon account and found that I have saved records of some books, so here is the list I can share, the rest that I cant recall are all borrowed from library, once returned I cant rememeber title liao!

Kids Are Worth It! : Giving Your Child The Gift Of Inner Discipline
(one of my fave at one point, I lent it away and it got lost! I must re-order this again soon.)
http://www.amazon.com/Kids-Are-Worth-Giving-Discipline/dp/0060014318/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&amp;s=books&amp;qid=1223340369&amp;sr=1-3


Playful Parenting
(good book for parents who may like to learn to be more playful with their kids, this book gives lots of ideas on how to be a fun parent and the value that lies in that. I personally dont agree 100% with it all but good read nevertheless.)
http://www.amazon.com/Playful-Parenting-Lawrence-J-Cohen/dp/0345442865/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1?ie=UTF8&amp;s=books&amp;qid=1223340587&amp;sr=1-1

Our babies, Ourselves.
(doesnt provide specific solutions but gives good and interesting insights of diff aspcts of child-rearing)
http://www.amazon.com/Our-Babies-Ourselves-Biology-Culture/dp/0385483627/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&amp;s=books&amp;qid=1223352772&amp;sr=1-1
 
re: child abuse video
Is this for real????!! How can she stand on the child and jump on her like mattress??!!! AARGGGHH, I can't stand it. She needs to be reported to the police and locked up and never ever have her work in Spore or any other countries as a domestic worker again.

Someone said earlier that this video was taken after the employer abused this maid and she took it out on the kid? Or was it that this abuse had been going on for some time and the employer finally put up a monitor to capture this? Surely the child's injuries are unexplained and the mother should have immediately questioned the maid rather than to wait for some time to pass before putting up a camera. Mothers are so sensitive and can notice even a small mosquito bite on their little precious ones. Surely the child had unexplained marks and injuries and the way the maid was hitting her, she certainly wasn't very smart making sure that the injuries are covered up.
 
berry
thanks!! the how to talk one i borrowed the audio book from the library, found it quite interesting! yesterday (at the lib), saw that they have some others in the series also, how to talk so your child will learn, but think i will leave that for later and concentrate on other books first, haha.

so much to learn, so little time ;)

CD
i also borrowed this CD from the library (i'm big on audio books/CDs cos sometimes no time to read!)
Successful Parenting: How to raise great children and enjoy the process, by Jimmy Evans
http://www.amazon.com/Successful-Parenting-Raise-Children-Process/dp/5550260425/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&amp;s=books&amp;qid=1238739741&amp;sr=8-1

I think it's recorded when he's somewhere giving a talk - it's got quite a christian perspective (i didn't realise this when i borrowed it), but apart from that, i quite like some of his principles, and his own family examples are quite funny and entertaining. It's 5 (!) CDs, and i've only listened to 2 so far.. quite interesting.
 
alo mommies ! TGIF !

congrats kitsune &amp; blueginger !! hehe.. i was saying to chase for a moo moo baby, but no action taken at all.. haha ;p

hv been working from home since last week. wonder why working at home is even busier than working from office.... :x

btw, any mommies know where to get california baby calendula cream ??
 
blueginger, bkkgal, ya I think so too. bkkgal, who's your elephant memory gynae? ;) blueginger, can share your experience at TMC?

Thanks, Diana.
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hello all,
been quiet again for a few days cuz been looking after ruth at home for the past few days alone. My parents went for holiday.
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Super a lot of work waiting for me on Monday - scary.

ANyway, i need your help - if any of you have referrals for interviews. I am helping a friend - who is a mum of 3. She recently migrated to Melbourne and is trying to freelance writing at home to help with the income situation. (Bad time now since global recession)

Hopefully you all have some referrees.

1. Mummies who have intensive bleeding after delivery (either before or after going home from hospital) and perhaps required transfusions etc.

2. Mummies who use social networking websites like www.totspot.com or kidmondo.com and if you are not into such sites, why not?

As she is in Melbourne, preferred mode of contact is either via MSN, email or facebook.

Really hope can get some help.
 
tubao, I have socket inserters (is it the sort that looks like plug keys?) but I need those that can cover the whole electric socket even though it is being used. Do you know if Homefix sells? Thanks.
 
cheryl.. wow u very resourceful.. can find all these articles.

bkkgal.. keen on any bags?? :D

Re:calendula cream
Actually use it for what.. i saw it selling her but dunno when /how to use it.

BTW, saw the cheapest desitin creamy here.. only US$3.95 for 4 oz.. apparently the prices have gone up to 5 plus.. so i grabbed all the 7 tubes left.
 
Pauline
my gynae is Prof Mary Rauff at NUH. she's also leila's gynae
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Jeannie
I have to go to Florida next month for work. Looking out for nearest outlet to go and get my Kate spade! hee. if I don't manage to get, I'll let you know.

Calendula cream
I use for bites, itchy spots, rash, diaper rash, or just normal moisturiser for baby and myself :p It's very good, I love it!
 
bkkgal, Prof Mary Rauff sounds oddly familiar, can't remember where I heard her name from. But wa from Tanah Merah to NUH is quite a distance ya?

Calendula cream. I didn't know it's so good, should have bought one for my gal cos she always gets rashes, even healed mosquito bites leave a 'dark' mark, I don't know why. :p
 
Pauline,
I had complicated pregnancy and that time when I came back from Thailand in 3rd trimester, no other gynae wanted me. Only Prof was kind enough to take me. Even tho it's far, I think I will still go back to her cos she's good. Moreover, my complications will surely come up again in the nxt pregnancy, so better go back to same gynae.
 
bkkgal, oh ya, I forgot you came back to deliver your baby. Yes, important to have a good and experienced gynae. Dr Loh, KKH is not bad, at least can email him and best of all, HE REPLIES! But I haven't 'si xin' on trying TMC's service yet so see how lar. :p
 
Pauline,
Ruth's mozzie bites also turn into like a birth mark after it subsides.....for a long time! MOnths i think. I can still seen quite a few 'patches' all over. sigh.

So far i only use tea tree oil on the bites but haven't tried calendula. I used calendula for rashes though.

gynae:
i still like my gynae but i think not much ppl go to SGH for delivery. He'll entertain SMS anytime and though he is not like super assuring and a man of few words - i think i appreciate his direct and efficient style - which some make take as lack of concern/bo chup. He'll always tell me not to worry unless....there's bleeding, cramps etc. And he never pushes me to do anything i don't want to.

I'm already very worried about pregnancy....so if got one that talks too much and consoles too much - i think will make me panic even more unnecessarily. heh.

BKK:
erm...complicated pregnancy? Erm, happen to have bleeding after that? Paiseh..guessing...still trying to see if anyone can grant an interview to my friend.
 
jeanie,
ya..we're probably bringing her to Sydney-Melbourne for a self-drive holiday in June but still thinking about it cuz hear that Melbourne will be very rainy (which will be quite sian la!) For the cold that she will have to go through, i really hope to have snow! heh.
 
hi mummies,
haven t got a chance to post for a long while. son's down with bad cold and cough + hubs out of twn again. anyone has any recommendations for chinese physician? am thinking of bringing my son to one since the western meds don t seem to be working
sad.gif
Help!!!!

maid abuse
it was really heart wrenching to watch the clip. cldn't even finish it. so much anger built up in me that i thk if i were to knw the maid personally, i wld do exactly the same thing back to her. it is simply too cruel !!! makes me really think twice on hiring one.

bkkgal,
make one in jap? don't think have time n energy lah...i intend to be busy shopping and eating....hahaha!!! u gg to florida?? does it mean u wld be bring g K along too???
n abt our gynae, m pretty sure she does have an elephant memory cos' up till now she can still remember my dialect name too!!! Wld go back to her too cos when i was with her, i feel that i was in safe hands
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jeannie,
saw ur yummy pasta on ur blog. very impressed!!! u've got natural talent in cooking : ) AND saw ur shopping spree of coach n kate spade bags!!!! it is so very very very tempting :p

lezy,
melboune's weather in june is really not much fun and the temperature can be pretty eratic. And if wanna see snow, must go to the mountains and if u go too early, snow may not have formed nicely on the mountains yet. But when it has, it is truly a beautiful sight
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iso,
i have the zojirushi flask. the 3 compartments type and comes in a lunch bag as well. so far, i have put in food for a max of 6 hrs and the food still is warm. So, i shd say it is serving me well plus i like that it has 3 compartments cos i seperate the porridge, vege, meat/fish.
 
leila
ok, thanks for the feedback! i'll go check them out
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mossie bites
do any of your bbs get like huge swelling from the bites? E's get really huge, and these days he'll scratch more, looks awful
sad.gif
calendula cream doesn't help at all, think i'll try some tea tree oil cos that usu works for me (but recently we ran out!)
 
iso,
yes, ashlynn a lot of these harsh looking bites which u mentioned. over the weekend she just kenna attacked by the mozzies despite slapping on insect repellent before she slept. Even her face is not spared. very heart pain now... And they dun heal well, leaving behind dark patches.
 
iso, bx
the mozzie bites will subside gradually as time goes by. cheryl was biten badly, and real bad i mean, swelling up to a 5c to 20c coin in size, and really red! super super heart pain, don even dare to let her wear short sleeve to go out, later ple thought we abused her.

so i got the bug repellant balm and repellant sprays, apply everyday though now no longer have fierce mozzies bites anymore, not even a single one ever since. we apply diligently everyday in regardless. initially you might find the smell abit repulsive cuz of the strong lemongrass and citronella, but eventually you will find it quite nice smelling. really wards off the fierce mozzies.

maybe you all can try the followings, i think it really works wonder.

Badger Anti-Bug Balm
http://www.drugstore.com/products/prod.asp?pid=74279&amp;catid=10539

California Baby Bug Repellent Spray with Citronella
http://www.drugstore.com/products/prod.asp?pid=144576&amp;catid=10539

somehow i feel the repellent patches stickers dont work well at all.

hope this helps. =)
 
Hmm how come recently babies have those huge swelling bites.
Amanda have them too! Big red and angry one on her face and hand.

Lelia: you seperate the fish and vege and porridge in the lunch box. The fish and vege are steamed? So they taste ok after like 6 hours? Wanted to do that but wonder if steamed fish will taste okie after so many hours............
 
re: toothbrush

have you all started to brush teeth for our tod in morning and before bedtime?
what toothbrush you all buy? and still using first teeth toothpaste?
i taught my son to gargle but he still dunno how leh, he will drink the water instead.
 
morning mommies

weekend just flew by didn't it? thank goodness it's a short week this week.

Lezy, nope no bleeding. Mine was hypertension and gestational diabetes. Your fren's topic very niche leh.

Leila
No lah I won't bring her to Florida. I have to travel 50 hours to and fro for a 2 day meeting. Very bo hua leh!!! I'll peng san by the time I get back.
 
Morning Mummies.

Had a tiring wkend. Lucky tis wk is a short one.
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Tubao,

Thanks 4 ur advise.
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re : calendula cream

it's reali a gd cream! I applied on Cayenne's rashes on the night b4 she slept. next morning, rashes gone!

i aso use on myself. esp got itch. i applied the next moment, itch stopped!
 
apple,
i think might be due to the bad weather all the mozzies start appearing.

crystal,
i thought the insect repllect i bought was quite good. i think may need to try the one u recommended. u apply both everyday? hb was thinking of getting those machine to ward off the mozzies.

lezy,
actually i had excess bleeding. almost need to go to operating theatre if it didn't stop by night time. but lucky it finally reduced by night time. horrifying experience for me and hb.
 
bx
i actually also gt those mozzie repellents (the machines you talking abt), quite big. black in colour, can hang from ceiling. gotten from Homefix at abt $169. using those UV rays to repel the mozzies. however, i am not using it anymore, because it looks quite ugly firstly for the living room and i still feel the balm and sprays work better than the machine lei.

i also gotten those mozzie repellents (those that have a buzzing sound) using radiation to repel mozzies. i am still using these because it 'eats' little of electricity.

yes, we applied both everyday after each shower. the balm on her clothes, the sprays on her playpen or on her clothes as well.
 
crystal, bx,
thanks! will check them out. My mum's place recently kenna dengue - 21 cases in the last month or so! so scary... every day she's burning coils, tablets, citronella aromatherapy, and putting repellent for E..
 


bkkgal, crystal, Esty, I just bought one Calendula cream from WTS thread. Waiting for it to arrive by post. Do you know if it's ok if baby accidentally tastes some of it. RaeAnne loves to scratch and she always puts her fingers into her mouth, not sure if the cream is safe to 'eat'.
 
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