(2008/01) Jan 2008 MTBs
- Thread starter lu_meihua
- Start date
mylvera,
Not true leh, actually quite tough for SAHM to look after 2 kids alone without help.
That day was just discussing about #2 with hubby. He wants #2 but never even think of the logistics issues. I said I have to be pregnant for 10 mths while looking after B on my own. When #2 arrives, I have to handle night feeds, look after 2 kids during the day, cook meals and do house chores??? How is that possible unless we send B to cc, order tingkat everyday or get a maid (but we're against getting a maid). So end up he say don't want #2 liao cos really got alot of issues to sort out...alamak!
Not true leh, actually quite tough for SAHM to look after 2 kids alone without help.
That day was just discussing about #2 with hubby. He wants #2 but never even think of the logistics issues. I said I have to be pregnant for 10 mths while looking after B on my own. When #2 arrives, I have to handle night feeds, look after 2 kids during the day, cook meals and do house chores??? How is that possible unless we send B to cc, order tingkat everyday or get a maid (but we're against getting a maid). So end up he say don't want #2 liao cos really got alot of issues to sort out...alamak!
Yvonne,
alamak.. you persuading or dissuading your hb to have #2?
I agree it is very tough to be a SAHM looking after 2 kids without help. I will go crazy for sure. But to go through all the hassle, arguing with family members etc etc, for me, I would tink abt quitting the job and b a SAHM. It's all down to pros n cons of the whole situation and wat are the things we can live with/without. it will be a tough road but as long as the hb n wife work together n go thro it together, it shd be ok.
alamak.. you persuading or dissuading your hb to have #2?
I agree it is very tough to be a SAHM looking after 2 kids without help. I will go crazy for sure. But to go through all the hassle, arguing with family members etc etc, for me, I would tink abt quitting the job and b a SAHM. It's all down to pros n cons of the whole situation and wat are the things we can live with/without. it will be a tough road but as long as the hb n wife work together n go thro it together, it shd be ok.
grumpus
Active Member
Yvonne,
that's exactly what i'm doing!! preggie and looking after #1 myself. next yr Jan my girl is starting pre-N and i hv to settle her into school plus my edd is 23 Jan.
we're not getting a maid either.
the compromise is i dun need to do household chores. our laundry, cleaning and our cooking he will do or dabao. i only need to focus on the kids meals and their laundry.
that's exactly what i'm doing!! preggie and looking after #1 myself. next yr Jan my girl is starting pre-N and i hv to settle her into school plus my edd is 23 Jan.
we're not getting a maid either.
the compromise is i dun need to do household chores. our laundry, cleaning and our cooking he will do or dabao. i only need to focus on the kids meals and their laundry.
Yvonne,
My hub is very busy with work. When he arrives home, kids have gone to bed already, so he only gets to see them briefly in the morning. So I am a full time SAHM for the night. Reach home, cook dinner, have dinner, play with them, milk feed, then kids go off to bed, and then take shower and do a bit of house chores. When both are in good mood (like last night), I really enjoy it so much. When either one (usually HR) or both (that's the worst case) are not in good mood, I am like a mad woman But I am a very stubborn person, I don't want to get a maid, I rather do more work than having a stranger living with us, in a HDB flat (if we owns a spacious landed property, that's different story )
You can ask your IL to help you if you have #2? B was taken care by your IL when you were still working right? Or either B go to full day cc. Handle 1 full day without help is pretty easy, but handle 2 full day without a spare pair of hands would drive you crazy.
My hub is very busy with work. When he arrives home, kids have gone to bed already, so he only gets to see them briefly in the morning. So I am a full time SAHM for the night. Reach home, cook dinner, have dinner, play with them, milk feed, then kids go off to bed, and then take shower and do a bit of house chores. When both are in good mood (like last night), I really enjoy it so much. When either one (usually HR) or both (that's the worst case) are not in good mood, I am like a mad woman
But I am a very stubborn person, I don't want to get a maid, I rather do more work than having a stranger living with us, in a HDB flat (if we owns a spacious landed property, that's different story ) You can ask your IL to help you if you have #2? B was taken care by your IL when you were still working right? Or either B go to full day cc. Handle 1 full day without help is pretty easy, but handle 2 full day without a spare pair of hands would drive you crazy.
tongtong,
This is another craft we made after watching Mister Maker on Cbeebies (posted on FB but think you migh have missed it cos I didn't publish it). Very easy to do.
http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=1795068&l=f093c808c1&id=1067314789
This is another craft we made after watching Mister Maker on Cbeebies (posted on FB but think you migh have missed it cos I didn't publish it). Very easy to do.
http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=1795068&l=f093c808c1&id=1067314789
chaye
Active Member
morning mummies !
do you ladies eat luncheon meat ? cos yesterday I went to the provision shop near my hse. They are selling 2 different types of luncheon meat. One is Ma Ling the china made brand at $2 and another with a Big SINGAPORE made on the can at $3 ! I was like wah luncheon meat selling at $3 ???!!! The groccer even told me that a lot of ppl buy wor... Have you seen it before ?
do you ladies eat luncheon meat ? cos yesterday I went to the provision shop near my hse. They are selling 2 different types of luncheon meat. One is Ma Ling the china made brand at $2 and another with a Big SINGAPORE made on the can at $3 ! I was like wah luncheon meat selling at $3 ???!!! The groccer even told me that a lot of ppl buy wor... Have you seen it before ?
angelwind
Active Member
morning mummies
mylvera, kitsune
talking about me eh?? heehee
well, i've thought about it yesterday. i am going to have additional 1k in expenses (minimum) for x's cc fees and the maid
if i quit n be SAHM...
-we will not pay this 1k, right bo?
-but then the household bills + x's insurance -which i have been paying frm my own salary will be on hb's account, right bo?
-but hb's surplus every month (after deducting car expenses, pocket $$, insurance, mil's allowance) will only be $600 left. definitely not enough to pay for household bills + x's insurance
i CAN be SAHM, provided i have saved up at least 10k in my bank a/c which i can deplete slowly for the next eg....1 year? meaning we have a surplus of $800 a mth from this kitty. thereafter 1 yr, i must go back to work liao
in order to achieve that, i must wait VERI LONG kakakakakaka
but, but, but, i have a 30% intention to serve my maternity leave fully (4mths) and then quit and be SAHM for the next 8mths. still pondering lo
kam
i also want to do housework/look after kids on my own. i dont want stranger living with us.
BUT its coz of helping my mil out. if not i WOULDNT have done it. i would be like u too - SAHM at night
mylvera, kitsune
talking about me eh?? heehee
well, i've thought about it yesterday. i am going to have additional 1k in expenses (minimum) for x's cc fees and the maid
if i quit n be SAHM...
-we will not pay this 1k, right bo?
-but then the household bills + x's insurance -which i have been paying frm my own salary will be on hb's account, right bo?
-but hb's surplus every month (after deducting car expenses, pocket $$, insurance, mil's allowance) will only be $600 left. definitely not enough to pay for household bills + x's insurance
i CAN be SAHM, provided i have saved up at least 10k in my bank a/c which i can deplete slowly for the next eg....1 year? meaning we have a surplus of $800 a mth from this kitty. thereafter 1 yr, i must go back to work liao
in order to achieve that, i must wait VERI LONG kakakakakaka
but, but, but, i have a 30% intention to serve my maternity leave fully (4mths) and then quit and be SAHM for the next 8mths. still pondering lo
kam
i also want to do housework/look after kids on my own. i dont want stranger living with us.
BUT its coz of helping my mil out. if not i WOULDNT have done it. i would be like u too - SAHM at night
morn mummies
pixie, are u sure u wan quit? i tot u r fetching a good pay, and u prf to continue wrking to provide for the family?
recently, i am also tinking of staying home on a long term basis... financially, shld be able to afford, juz prob gotta dine less outside or cut on shopping.juz feel tired of the working life n tot mebe it is time for me to focus on my family, perhaps, also start my family planning for no.2....
but then, not brave enuff, so still pondering
pixie, are u sure u wan quit? i tot u r fetching a good pay, and u prf to continue wrking to provide for the family?
recently, i am also tinking of staying home on a long term basis... financially, shld be able to afford, juz prob gotta dine less outside or cut on shopping.juz feel tired of the working life n tot mebe it is time for me to focus on my family, perhaps, also start my family planning for no.2....
but then, not brave enuff, so still pondering
angelwind
Active Member
aqua
ok then we shall start a pondering club liao LOL
yes i WANT to quit. but my pay is on par with hb. hb's 1 large chunk of pay goes to car + car expenses so he is not very 'well-off" really. so it always seems like im earning more than him. thats the ONLY reason why i cannot afford to quit
maybe you finance mummy can work out the probability of me quitting or working is better? heehee..........
ok then we shall start a pondering club liao LOL
yes i WANT to quit. but my pay is on par with hb. hb's 1 large chunk of pay goes to car + car expenses so he is not very 'well-off" really. so it always seems like im earning more than him. thats the ONLY reason why i cannot afford to quit
maybe you finance mummy can work out the probability of me quitting or working is better? heehee..........
pixie,
can i ask how much your hb gave your mil's allowance? This is for childcare or for her own allowance? My hb gave $600 to mil for childcare+her allowance & $200 to fil. My case is somewhat similar to yours...i oso pay for the hsehold bills (fm, diapers, toiletries etc) + Z & R's insurance + Z's cc fees.
can i ask how much your hb gave your mil's allowance? This is for childcare or for her own allowance? My hb gave $600 to mil for childcare+her allowance & $200 to fil. My case is somewhat similar to yours...i oso pay for the hsehold bills (fm, diapers, toiletries etc) + Z & R's insurance + Z's cc fees.
Morning, mummies.
I can join the pondering club of SAHM. Just like Aqua, not brave enough... really living too comfy and I have alot of material needs (vain mummy) which I am not ready to give up, even for the sake of my children.
Last few weeks, my hubby and I discussed on what to do if we dismissed our maid... One option is I try to convert to part time for my current job. But after calculating the expenses (my 1/2 contribution to all house expenses including the car, my allowance to my own mum), I barely have enough for myself (since I also put aside some savings for the kids monthly). So have to give up on the idea loh.
So now, just put the thought of SAHM behind me, continue to work and work and work, go travel and be night SAHM (since I bring my kids home daily after work).
Kitsune,
Hahaha, I never like travelling to neighbouring countries much...
Talking abt europe, that day I brought up want to go Italy and Switzerland next time, kena rejected by hubby. He said disappointed with Paris and hated the long haul flights. Sianz...
I can join the pondering club of SAHM. Just like Aqua, not brave enough... really living too comfy and I have alot of material needs (vain mummy) which I am not ready to give up, even for the sake of my children.
Last few weeks, my hubby and I discussed on what to do if we dismissed our maid... One option is I try to convert to part time for my current job. But after calculating the expenses (my 1/2 contribution to all house expenses including the car, my allowance to my own mum), I barely have enough for myself (since I also put aside some savings for the kids monthly). So have to give up on the idea loh.
So now, just put the thought of SAHM behind me, continue to work and work and work, go travel and be night SAHM (since I bring my kids home daily after work).
Kitsune,
Hahaha, I never like travelling to neighbouring countries much...
Talking abt europe, that day I brought up want to go Italy and Switzerland next time, kena rejected by hubby. He said disappointed with Paris and hated the long haul flights. Sianz...
kitsune_sg
Active Member
pixie, yup that's what I did. when I was unhappy about my job, already thinking of quiting liao, so I terminated some insurance policies but I managed to get a transfer to another dept so at least got another 2 years of income, that helped a bit.
krystle, Hehe, must lower expectations as sahm mah. but occasionally if he got bonus, then can negotiate for further countries like Taiwan in dec lor. Kekeke.
krystle, Hehe, must lower expectations as sahm mah. but occasionally if he got bonus, then can negotiate for further countries like Taiwan in dec lor. Kekeke.
angelwind
Active Member
and my next qn wud be:
-how do I quit after I come back frm ML? Is there a law to say I must serve x number of days/mths after coming back frm ML before I can resign?
If I serve a 1mth notice, who can look after X, since if I be sahm then I wun be putting him to cc come Jan2011? I doubt my mil can do that she'll be looking after 2 babies without the extra help that we've promised her
hmmmmmmmmm
still pondering
-how do I quit after I come back frm ML? Is there a law to say I must serve x number of days/mths after coming back frm ML before I can resign?
If I serve a 1mth notice, who can look after X, since if I be sahm then I wun be putting him to cc come Jan2011? I doubt my mil can do that she'll be looking after 2 babies without the extra help that we've promised her
hmmmmmmmmm
still pondering
mylvera,
Haha, hubby keen on #2 but I'm not ready yet cos of all this issues but hubby never think mah...he only need to contribute sp**m and that's it! I told him #1 is so attention-seeking and he can't even handle him somtimes, how am I supposed to handle #1 and a baby at the same time? If really want #2, he must be ready to help out even more for the next 3-4 yrs. Just becos I'm SAHM does not mean I don't need to eat or sleep or have personal time. Gave him alot more to think about now...hahaha.
grumpus,
Wow, so you'll also be stressed for the next few months. At least you're exempted from household chores. Imagine I wake up in the morning and see 5 cups/glasses in the sink waiting for me to wash. Hubby can use so many cups overnight but lazy to wash.
Kam,
Same, I also hate the idea of a maid but I know my own limits, if I have to handle 2 kids on my own, I'll go crazy and start resenting hubby. But I also don't wish to send him to cc and neither do I want to send him to in-laws cos of different upbringing methods...what to do...I very perfectionist...keke
Haha, hubby keen on #2 but I'm not ready yet cos of all this issues but hubby never think mah...he only need to contribute sp**m and that's it! I told him #1 is so attention-seeking and he can't even handle him somtimes, how am I supposed to handle #1 and a baby at the same time? If really want #2, he must be ready to help out even more for the next 3-4 yrs. Just becos I'm SAHM does not mean I don't need to eat or sleep or have personal time. Gave him alot more to think about now...hahaha.
grumpus,
Wow, so you'll also be stressed for the next few months. At least you're exempted from household chores. Imagine I wake up in the morning and see 5 cups/glasses in the sink waiting for me to wash. Hubby can use so many cups overnight but lazy to wash.
Kam,
Same, I also hate the idea of a maid but I know my own limits, if I have to handle 2 kids on my own, I'll go crazy and start resenting hubby. But I also don't wish to send him to cc and neither do I want to send him to in-laws cos of different upbringing methods...what to do...I very perfectionist...keke
grumpus
Active Member
Pixie, aqua,
When I resigned I told my parents tat I will continue to give them allowance but there will be no increments. Previously when I get increment or bonus I will give them more.
Pixie,
If u resign after ML u just need to serve yr standard notice period, I.e one mth. Previuosly I moved in with my mum, worked from home n used my AL to offset my notice period.
Yvonne,
It's something u need to work out with hb lor. Now I also do everything but I told him very frankly tat I cannot handle so many things if we hv #2 so either he get me a maid or if hv to help out more. He say he will do more ard the hse lor.
When I resigned I told my parents tat I will continue to give them allowance but there will be no increments. Previously when I get increment or bonus I will give them more.
Pixie,
If u resign after ML u just need to serve yr standard notice period, I.e one mth. Previuosly I moved in with my mum, worked from home n used my AL to offset my notice period.
Yvonne,
It's something u need to work out with hb lor. Now I also do everything but I told him very frankly tat I cannot handle so many things if we hv #2 so either he get me a maid or if hv to help out more. He say he will do more ard the hse lor.
yvonne, pixie,
talking about washing 5 cups/glasses in the sink...reminds me of yesterday scenario...i saw an empty bowl (my hb used it for his porridge), a dirty towel, a snack bowl n a pot in the sink waiting for me to wash...it was almost mid-nite when i woke up (i accompanied R to bed n doze off altogether at 10pm) and had to wash these stuff...i was annoyed n screech to my hb too! But after i cool down then forgave him cos he is still not well, on hospitalization leave (still recovering from his opt last week).
talking about washing 5 cups/glasses in the sink...reminds me of yesterday scenario...i saw an empty bowl (my hb used it for his porridge), a dirty towel, a snack bowl n a pot in the sink waiting for me to wash...it was almost mid-nite when i woke up (i accompanied R to bed n doze off altogether at 10pm) and had to wash these stuff...i was annoyed n screech to my hb too! But after i cool down then forgave him cos he is still not well, on hospitalization leave (still recovering from his opt last week).
pixie/steph,
Our hubby all not "automatic"...last time he will still make an effort to wash. But ever since I became SAHM, he stopped washing the dishes liao. Even use 1 glass also leave there for me to wash.
grumpus,
That's why I told him the reasons why I'm still not ready for #2. He never helped me with the night feeds for B and I was still working then. Every night wake up 2-3 times and he slept like a log so I think it'll be the same for #2. If he's not ready to help out with all these then don't bother to think about #2.
Our hubby all not "automatic"...last time he will still make an effort to wash. But ever since I became SAHM, he stopped washing the dishes liao. Even use 1 glass also leave there for me to wash.
grumpus,
That's why I told him the reasons why I'm still not ready for #2. He never helped me with the night feeds for B and I was still working then. Every night wake up 2-3 times and he slept like a log so I think it'll be the same for #2. If he's not ready to help out with all these then don't bother to think about #2.
RE: SAHM
This topic is making its appearance every now and then
I have been thinking about it a lot. No, I don't ponder to become a SAHM now, but on how a FTWM can be as involved as a SAHM, of course not the hours put in, but the quality. I recently met an old friend of mine on FB, and she is an advocate of SAHM, the way she said it make me feel that whoever doesn't convert to become a SAHM is like the worst mum. I am not angry with her, but it got me think and think and think, a lot. I am happy with our situation now, but I am looking forward to become a SAHM or at least a PTWM, when we are ready.
This topic is making its appearance every now and then
I have been thinking about it a lot. No, I don't ponder to become a SAHM now, but on how a FTWM can be as involved as a SAHM, of course not the hours put in, but the quality. I recently met an old friend of mine on FB, and she is an advocate of SAHM, the way she said it make me feel that whoever doesn't convert to become a SAHM is like the worst mum. I am not angry with her, but it got me think and think and think, a lot. I am happy with our situation now, but I am looking forward to become a SAHM or at least a PTWM, when we are ready.
angelwind
Active Member
yvonne
precisely!! it was only recently that i can see my hb "helping" more in looking after x, then i told him "ready" for #2...
even till now, im still grumbling leh. he dont pay much attention to me or #2 in me tummy. usually i will groan groan and say "oh my hb forgot i expecting a child" etc...
coz he can dont touch tummy and speak to baby AT ALL unless i prompt him.
up to the extend that i kept saying "i dont need you to care about me (which should be the basis of a spousal relationship); i just want you to care about the baby in my tummy"
i need to be this extreme before he action leh....haiz...i got a super blockhead hb
precisely!! it was only recently that i can see my hb "helping" more in looking after x, then i told him "ready" for #2...
even till now, im still grumbling leh. he dont pay much attention to me or #2 in me tummy. usually i will groan groan and say "oh my hb forgot i expecting a child" etc...
coz he can dont touch tummy and speak to baby AT ALL unless i prompt him.
up to the extend that i kept saying "i dont need you to care about me (which should be the basis of a spousal relationship); i just want you to care about the baby in my tummy"
i need to be this extreme before he action leh....haiz...i got a super blockhead hb
kitsune_sg
Active Member
kam, dun 介意, maybe your friend really enjoys being a sahm so much that she is overzealous in sharing. What works for one person may not work for another. Ftwm n sahm all got pros n cons. I just spent 1hr45 mins putting Raeanne to sleep. my friend in the vicinity, chio me for coffee, I also can't go out.
Cups in the basin - oops, I am the one who leaves them overnight for the maid to wash but my hubby will wash them himself. he said 1 cup only mah, I wash.
Cups in the basin - oops, I am the one who leaves them overnight for the maid to wash but my hubby will wash them himself. he said 1 cup only mah, I wash.
shorty_gal
Active Member
Chaye,
Karihome milk tast better that Friso. 900g is about $37 the cheapest i can find liao. NTUC is $48!!! I also let Javin finish all the Friso then switch him.
Just to share, www.luvbabies.weebly.com
They have delivery for milk powder and diapers. The milk powder and diaper are cheap.....
Karihome milk tast better that Friso. 900g is about $37 the cheapest i can find liao. NTUC is $48!!! I also let Javin finish all the Friso then switch him.
Just to share, www.luvbabies.weebly.com
They have delivery for milk powder and diapers. The milk powder and diaper are cheap.....
kitsune,
Agree. She is indeed enjoying being a SAHM very much. She was a FTWM, and only became a SAHM after giving birth to #2. I am glad that it works out for her.
But that really got me thinking a lot. And not only that. All the parenting stuff that I am thinking about...... actually it's good thing lah, but I still haven't cleared my mind, still thinking....
Agree. She is indeed enjoying being a SAHM very much. She was a FTWM, and only became a SAHM after giving birth to #2. I am glad that it works out for her.
But that really got me thinking a lot. And not only that. All the parenting stuff that I am thinking about...... actually it's good thing lah, but I still haven't cleared my mind, still thinking....
angelwind
Active Member
kam
what are you "thinking" about then? dont have to go into specifics but about what?
steph
nolah, tv console yesterday happy liao, over liao lor. good things must fast fast over so that can anticipate for next good stuff to happen hurhurhur
we are bringing x home from tue night onwards next week till sunday; so wed-sun i can see my boy leh, so happy. although im working, but still, go home can see his happy face liao
yupz, hb taking care of x from wed - fri. its like a miracle for him to say "ok". usually he will say, ok let mil take care, i at most pop by JE from morning onwards (lazy to take care of x alone)
what are you "thinking" about then? dont have to go into specifics but about what?
steph
nolah, tv console yesterday happy liao, over liao lor. good things must fast fast over so that can anticipate for next good stuff to happen hurhurhur
we are bringing x home from tue night onwards next week till sunday; so wed-sun i can see my boy leh, so happy. although im working, but still, go home can see his happy face liao
yupz, hb taking care of x from wed - fri. its like a miracle for him to say "ok". usually he will say, ok let mil take care, i at most pop by JE from morning onwards (lazy to take care of x alone)
pixie,
Wah can imagine how happy you are! Your hub is getting more and more involve wor, congrates! Big change for him.
My hub is the opposite, not that he doens't want to be involve, but he doesn't have the time to. I only hope he can put 100% of his time for the kids during weekends.
Food they eat, the education, the peer pressure, how to make them happier, is it too much tv for them, too little play time for time (on weekday nights), what's the real meaning of learning, etc, etc, you know, all the usual parenting stuff. I have been reading a lot recently, so gonna digest it and how to apply it, or not.
Wah can imagine how happy you are! Your hub is getting more and more involve wor, congrates! Big change for him.
My hub is the opposite, not that he doens't want to be involve, but he doesn't have the time to. I only hope he can put 100% of his time for the kids during weekends.
Food they eat, the education, the peer pressure, how to make them happier, is it too much tv for them, too little play time for time (on weekday nights), what's the real meaning of learning, etc, etc, you know, all the usual parenting stuff. I have been reading a lot recently, so gonna digest it and how to apply it, or not.
grumpus
Active Member
Pixie,
Aiya my hb is the same lah. Cos I hv very easy pregnancies, my hb always 'forget' I'm preggie. I still carry heavy laundry basket to the washing machine to wash n when done carry out to hang. I walk with my girl n my tummy to ntuc to buy groceries, lunch etc n come back n he's still sleeping.
Only very recently when my tummy is much bigger n I REALLY cannot do so much already then he starts to help out more.
Some more my girl is super glue. Bath, feed, sleep all must be me. That's the worse I think cos everything else I can ignore or farm out but I cannot ignore or farm out lexie.
Aiya my hb is the same lah. Cos I hv very easy pregnancies, my hb always 'forget' I'm preggie. I still carry heavy laundry basket to the washing machine to wash n when done carry out to hang. I walk with my girl n my tummy to ntuc to buy groceries, lunch etc n come back n he's still sleeping.
Only very recently when my tummy is much bigger n I REALLY cannot do so much already then he starts to help out more.
Some more my girl is super glue. Bath, feed, sleep all must be me. That's the worse I think cos everything else I can ignore or farm out but I cannot ignore or farm out lexie.
angelwind
Active Member
steph
my hb changing job (we have too many changes in our lives recently, no joke), so he is clearing leave from his prev job. heng lor. coz after x goes home on next sunday, he can start to concentrate on packing from mon-thur liao...
grumpus
^5 lor
i still hang laundry, climb up n down to bring down stuff to pack...i have already packed 9-10boxes, all by myself. some stuff are really heavy leh.
not that im in pain but i just wish sometimes he cares more about me.
eg i can tell him i have gastric pain today then i reached home liao he oredi forgotten i not feeling well. then i would grumble n say "you never asked me if im feeling better from the gastric attack?" then he will SUDDENLY REMEMBER, oh yes, wifey got gastric today
haizzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
and x is so sticky with me too. i have no choice but to involved him with everything i do since hb is super lazing somewhere else now, X is the designated "tape cutter" if i ever tape any boxes haha.
my hb changing job (we have too many changes in our lives recently, no joke), so he is clearing leave from his prev job. heng lor. coz after x goes home on next sunday, he can start to concentrate on packing from mon-thur liao...
grumpus
^5 lor
i still hang laundry, climb up n down to bring down stuff to pack...i have already packed 9-10boxes, all by myself. some stuff are really heavy leh.
not that im in pain but i just wish sometimes he cares more about me.
eg i can tell him i have gastric pain today then i reached home liao he oredi forgotten i not feeling well. then i would grumble n say "you never asked me if im feeling better from the gastric attack?" then he will SUDDENLY REMEMBER, oh yes, wifey got gastric today
haizzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
and x is so sticky with me too. i have no choice but to involved him with everything i do since hb is super lazing somewhere else
now, X is the designated "tape cutter" if i ever tape any boxes haha.grumpus / pixie,
^5 too! not that hubby is lazy / unconcern. Though he try to make it to every gynae's check up with me, he hardly show concern during pregnancies up the the point when i'm being pushed into the OT till the day i discharged from the hospital.He was just physically there, no word of concern, nothing, brought his work to the hospital... He has forgotten that i need concern, and it's only during confinement i threw up a big one to him cos he still expects me to help him asap whenever he calls in for work to be done.
I can understand that he's totally overwhelmed by his work, till today still like that. But at least shows some concern or understand that i'm still recovering, has a new baby, needs to pump and can't be doing his work anytime he needs me to. It's very upsetting at times when he's hardly with the family and yet when he's home, he will still be doing work or destressing (watching tv). Thus no time for me cos whenever there's time of cos the kids are priority now.
It was not so bad during '08 when no1 arrives, he was not that busy but now...even when he goes out for dinner/movie with me, his mind will be with work. He will always try to arrange work and meet me IF i requested. For eg. last sat we went for dinner cos my sis offered to extend her baby sitting for us to go on a date. He was already very lethargic and has too much work on hand (he continue to work from home after we come back), nevertheless he will try to make it whenever i asked for it. But he seems to be there but not really there with me.
I always try to be understanding but it's really hard not to feel upset at times.
*pai seh to rant so much*
^5 too! not that hubby is lazy / unconcern. Though he try to make it to every gynae's check up with me, he hardly show concern during pregnancies up the the point when i'm being pushed into the OT till the day i discharged from the hospital.He was just physically there, no word of concern, nothing, brought his work to the hospital... He has forgotten that i need concern, and it's only during confinement i threw up a big one to him cos he still expects me to help him asap whenever he calls in for work to be done.
I can understand that he's totally overwhelmed by his work, till today still like that. But at least shows some concern or understand that i'm still recovering, has a new baby, needs to pump and can't be doing his work anytime he needs me to. It's very upsetting at times when he's hardly with the family and yet when he's home, he will still be doing work or destressing (watching tv). Thus no time for me cos whenever there's time of cos the kids are priority now.
It was not so bad during '08 when no1 arrives, he was not that busy but now...even when he goes out for dinner/movie with me, his mind will be with work. He will always try to arrange work and meet me IF i requested. For eg. last sat we went for dinner cos my sis offered to extend her baby sitting for us to go on a date. He was already very lethargic and has too much work on hand (he continue to work from home after we come back), nevertheless he will try to make it whenever i asked for it. But he seems to be there but not really there with me.
I always try to be understanding but it's really hard not to feel upset at times.
*pai seh to rant so much*
Kellie,
No lah, I don't agree. Marriage is just another type of human relationship. Like all types of relationship (mum-daughter, brother-sister, friend-friend, teacher-student, etc), one would have to put in LOTS of effort to keep a relationship healthy and long lasting. Of course, it works better if both parties are on the same page, but even if they are not, there are plenty of things they can do to make it happen. The right mindset is important. 万年修得同床枕, 惜缘啊!
No lah, I don't agree. Marriage is just another type of human relationship. Like all types of relationship (mum-daughter, brother-sister, friend-friend, teacher-student, etc), one would have to put in LOTS of effort to keep a relationship healthy and long lasting. Of course, it works better if both parties are on the same page, but even if they are not, there are plenty of things they can do to make it happen. The right mindset is important. 万年修得同床枕, 惜缘啊!
chaye
Active Member
Well said Kam ! 万年修得同床枕, 惜缘啊!
First time hearing this but I understand.. lolz
It really take a lot of effort to maintain a relationship. Not one sider but both sides. So I would say if one party "dies" no matter how much effort the other put in is useless lor. I've been wanting to find the way to everlasting love and I think there is none. But maybe everlasting relationship yes but maybe not so loving kind ba. I see a lot of my frens/colls parents altho they are under one roof but they no longer talk to each other ! They will criticise each other when meet. The only way of communicating is quarrel. Some even sleep separately. Is this call everlasting relationship but no love ?
I wonder what will it be like between myself and hubby in 20yrs time ?
Morning mummies !
First time hearing this but I understand.. lolz
It really take a lot of effort to maintain a relationship. Not one sider but both sides. So I would say if one party "dies" no matter how much effort the other put in is useless lor. I've been wanting to find the way to everlasting love and I think there is none. But maybe everlasting relationship yes but maybe not so loving kind ba. I see a lot of my frens/colls parents altho they are under one roof but they no longer talk to each other ! They will criticise each other when meet. The only way of communicating is quarrel. Some even sleep separately. Is this call everlasting relationship but no love ?
I wonder what will it be like between myself and hubby in 20yrs time ?
Morning mummies !
Communication is very important in a marriage. Alot of times couples stop communicating and that's when cracks will appear. Men tend to take everything for granted cos they're too comfortable liao...so wives must make an effort to communicate more. But we tend to shift all our focus to the kids and neglect our hubby...must remind ourselves to be nicer to them and remind them to be nice to us as well
Comunication is definitely very important, if not the most important. It doesn't really matter who makes to move to make things work, why would that matter. It's not like since I have plan for 5 romantic dates, you should be planning the next 5 dates, else there will be no more dates. It shouldn't be that way. As long as the couple are still able to enjoy some romantic dates once in a while, it really doesn't matter who makes the booking, who makes the arrangement for kids, and who pays for the bill.
Chaye,
I think if the person is still willing to keep the relationship, he/she is not "dead" yet. There are still ways to make he/she alives again. Communication is the key. When one party starts the fight, if the other party can keep the cool and don't quarrel back, the whole situation might change? Not talking to each other is dangerous, very dangerious, though it's not dead, but it's like the last stage of cancer already.
Chaye,
I think if the person is still willing to keep the relationship, he/she is not "dead" yet. There are still ways to make he/she alives again. Communication is the key. When one party starts the fight, if the other party can keep the cool and don't quarrel back, the whole situation might change? Not talking to each other is dangerous, very dangerious, though it's not dead, but it's like the last stage of cancer already.
babyshannon
Active Member
Kam,
I agree with u..
Communication is very impt in a relationship.
N we shld not neglect our husband just because we have kids now..
I agree with u..
Communication is very impt in a relationship.
N we shld not neglect our husband just because we have kids now..