(2008/01) Jan 2008 MTBs

kam, I got a maid to help out in housework. But I handle both my kids myself as my hb works until very late very night. I feel most stressful during their bedtime, very tough to put 2 kids to sleep at the same time.

How do u manage yr 2 kids? My gal is super sticky n keep throwing tantrum. She even refuse to let me bf my boy..imagine she tells her didi, no more milk n keep wanting to cover clothes down n prevent him from drinking.
 


shannonbaby
no choice ler, they dunno how to cope with a new addition and feeling insecure lor hor...
i agree its tough to put 2 of them to sleep - can ask your maid jagah 1 of them temporary?
 
shannonbaby,
Aiyoh, like that very difficult leh, maid can't help much right, can she? Do you let her handle your kid at all?

My hubby promised me he will reach home before 9pm, and he has since kept to his promise. Else I don't think I can handle, cos I have no one else can help me.

Our routine is I handle both kids (sometime hubby helps if he doesn't have to rush with his work), till 9pm, when it's time to put #1 to bed. Me and #1 go into bedroom, while hubby bottle feeds #2 in the living room. It takes about 30min for HR to sleep. After the milk feed, sometimes #2 knock out also, sometimes doesn't. If she is still awake, I take over so hubby can get on with his work. On and off I get the housework done also (laundry, wash bottle, prepare HR's school bag, etc). Then only after #2 sleeps, I pump, then I zzz also.

HR initally refused to let me BF my girl also. But he is ok now. Try to get her involved as much as possible - say to her, didi is hungry, he wants to drink milk. If your girl still protest, you can offer her the other breast (while your #2 latch on one), to make her feel that this is not something special for #2 (don't think she wants to take your breast, don't worry), that it's for her and didi, if she wants it. Let her carry didi, and keep saying to her, see, didi smiles to you, he likes you so much, you carry didi so nicely, you are such a good jie jie..... endless praising and encouragement.

For us, HR is still the main priority, cos he knows what happen around him. While #2 is still a young baby, as long as she is fed and no crying, we pretty much let her alone (which is unfair to her, but no choice). Whenever we have time, we play with HR, spend time with him. We never change his routine, we still go out often every weekends. It's a very important time for our #1 now (cos this is the time they learn a lot), so it's understandable she wants your attention.
 
Pixie, krystle, called for LC again this morning cos left side (4-5 o clock) painful with slight lump when I BF Raelynn at 330am but overall breast still soft. LC came and said it's congested. Told me must continue to wear nursing bra high to lift my boobs and massage more. Then she told my hubby when he met her outside that she thinks I lack confidence cos of my mastitis history. Duh... Got pain of course ask to see LC while I'm still warded lar. Wait until discharged meh (was supposed to be discharged today initially mah). Somemore half hr consultation will be $55 leh. :p she said my colostrum supply is 'raining' and thick, good for bb though. I do find my boobs heavier too.

Kam, I tried goat's rue but didn't work for me. Maybe never eat enough.

Luca, I'm discharging tom morning if her jaundice test results are good.

Hubby showering now and will be going back soon cos MIL going for her wedding dinner. Sometimes I wonder why attending wedding dinner is so important for her even though her grandkid has jaundice and we need help with no. 1. :p
 
kitsune,
That's good, you are so experince with BFing, sure no problem one lah. Now you don't have to pay for the LC right?

Huh, need to wear nursing bra one ah? I don't even own one :) I was bra-less for 2 months. Now back to work, also never wear nursing bra cos I don't have any, only wearing unwired ones.

For their generation, yes, it's very important to attend dinner. My dad would travel hours just to attend a distance relative wedding dinner, while there are somethings more important happening in the family.
 
kitsune
erms i was thinking bout the same for your last paragraph but since its a family issue so i kept quiet. that aside, elderly wants face, promised liao then must go one, no matter how distant the relationship is.
got different values lar :p

btw, when i delivered my boy, i never wore a nursing bra while in the hosp. issit necessary?
 
hair prob:
so kam has hairfall prob...while me...i have itchy scalp prob. when the weather changes cold, my scalp is very very de itchy!!
anyone has such prob? how to tackle? i use those anti itch shampoo...then ok liao...then few mths later an episode comes back again
 
tongtong
ya.. we okie lee.. hahaha... thanks for asking
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yest start talking liao... ;)
 
jess
then he got aporogise or not
or got sing the one republic song....*lame*lame*

what event, got company dinner? d&d?

tongtong
i closing tonite, pending 2 mummies replies on their error posting
 
pixie
no apologise lei. he say he got scolded by me for nothing. haha...
wat is sing the republic song??? wat song?

so called annual dinner. but only 13 pax. hahaha... at Carousal~
 
ok lah, got dinner better than no dinner
my hb's one is next week friday or something, means i bao x home myself *arms breaking* again

the one republic (band) got a very famous song called apologise mah....my joke wasted liao hohoho

care for him what scold him. seow
 
haha. think men are are like tat.. interprete differently from woman. we deem as care.. they think we are just naggy or watever.. hahaha
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Enjoy ur time with ur boy!
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byez everyone~
 
tongtong
i cant wait for the other mummies to respond, since i got batch#2, i will order only when they confirm...so oredi placed order for batch#1...and it went thru! so scared they dont take non local credit cards...
i oso ordered some for my boy heehee
 
pixie,
tks. i better check the archives on the shows which steph posted, got some of them mixed up. hehe :p
 
Kam, pixie, I never wear nursing bra for no. 1 too unless go out. Yesterday LC saw me straight away scold, said must wear. If not, milk will pool there n cause blocked ducts. KK LC never say that though. :p

hubby left liao, Bf my gal again alone. :p Lucky got my BF pillow from home. Easier to position bb alone.
 
Wonder if should go for the penguin book sale @ expo later. Got to see if hubby knock off on time and got to lug #2 along... Sianz.
 
Krystle,
I just went to T3 yesterday. Brought my #2 up to the second floor of the Big Snow Fantasy. They allowed me to accompany my boy. Initially #2 was scared but he climbed all the way up and slid down happily. He found the ball games a bit boring and kept asking me to bring him up. Siong for me le.
 
Cannot go book sale liao coz hubby called said OT. Sianz...

Blackbatz,
They allowed you to go inside? So good. Coz I saw mostly are bigger kids and no parents are inside. Somemore the slide is really high so my #1 was scared. She did not even dare to slide down those normal 50cm high slide in playground loh. She is very timid one, just like me. :p
 
Krystle,
Yep..I asked them..It's stated that 1 parent allowed to go in with child. My #2 is quite gungho one, likes to climb. I taught him to grab those rungs and gave his butt a slight push.

#1 was not even like him when they were of same age..Really got to coax like mad and even want me to go down with him those tunnel slides..#1 only became more confident this year.

I saw parents going up with even younger ones (like leaning to walk)..That's why I asked..
 
Kam, Kitsune,

Thanks
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my baby was 2.595kg. About the same as cheh cheh who came out at 37 weeks also... So I was half expecting that #2 wld be early.

Shannonbaby
My #1 is also like that, refuse to let me bf the baby initially. Now she relented and 'allowed' me to bf provided she gets to sit with me on my lap. Sounds like a silly idea but it works for her, most of the time at least. Like Kam, I try to keep letting her have time with the bb, praise her, and pyscho her into thinking that her mei mei adores her very much.

Kam,
I also pretty much just feed #2 and put her back into the cot to sleep. If she cries, I will carry her while playing with #1. Feel guilty for not paying attention to her - no talking, no cuddling or other stimulation like what we used to do for #1. So poor thing to be second in line huh..
 
Pm, oic, hehe, 37 weeks is just nice.
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Pixie, ya lor, this is called generation gap bah... :p

Discharging now liao. Raelynn's jaundice is 8.2.
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Me finally back to home sweet home but a lot of adjustments. BFing Raelynn but she didn't poo and pee much so a bit worried. Think I saw some transitional milk just now. Hope that means I'll have more milk and she can drink more and poo & pee tomorrow. RaeAnne only slept at 11pm cos she's too excited about the changes in the house. Expected also lar, new baby plus new CL. Will take at least a few days for her to adjust.

Fed Raelynn from 1130pm to 1215am. But wondering whether to pump now. Feel so lazy cos last pump was so pathetic. Only some drops of colostrum, not enough to store even. Gave it to RaeAnne to drink instead. :p
 
Oh ya, was reading a brochure on Fri and decided to go with Hua Xia to get Raelynn's chinese name since we already have the first 2 characters. Got the names this morning, end up both Qi xin and Qi en cannot be used. Will deliberate and confirm one over the the weekend. Then can register Raelynn's name on Monday when we go back for gynae and PD review.
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Pixie, they gave us 旗耘，旗容，旗庭，旗珍，旗玲. So far, the strongest vote is for 旗庭 cos we like the short form of tingting and not as common as the rest. Dialect name of Raelynn Teo Kay Tin sounds quite nice too.
 
kitsune
旗珍 is the name of the kaya toast shop in rivervale mall ground floor. not the same strokes but the same name. OUT! :p

if 旗庭, then the 旗 is pinyin which sound? 旗2 or 旗3? coz 旗2庭2 sounds weird (to me, in all my broken cheena :p)

i like 旗耘 though
 
pixie, think there is a singer by the name of chen2qi2zhen1. Anyway, 旗2, same like 国旗。旗耘 sounds nice too but we dun really like the sound of Kay Yun. :p

Krystle, yup tom going to register the birth cert for Raelynn liao. 旗庭 it will be.
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My breasts still feel swollen and heavy after pumping and some part of the areola feel lumpy and painful when I press. Tried to hand express and press on painful parts but still painful for some parts. Worried that it may be the start of blocked ducts so tried calling TMC's hotline. First it rings then was cut off. Then I tried calling twice thereafter and the HP was switched off. Some hotline. Bleah! :/
 
Kitsune,
Good that you settle on the name so fast. Not like when I was naming my boy, super headache. The names we wanted were not suitable (strokes not suitable) and we hated the fengshui master's suggestions too. In the end, we just use the strokes and find the characters from Kang Xi dictionary. Luckily managed to find a name which we both very happy.

Hope tmr's PD review will be ok for RaeLynn. Are you employing massage lady? Can ask her to massage the breast for you. If you do by yourself, apply hot towel and really massage/press your breasts. I don't have much engorgement issue maybe coz supply very low. TMC hotline maybe too hot??? Got to keep calling bah... CL got any suggestions for you?
 
Krystle, I used Kangxi dictionary to find 旗 and 芮 too cos didn't like the fengshui master's suggestion too. But at least he gave me the ideal stroke count.

Hope she'll be ok too. She looks a bit yellow today. Sigh. Too many things going on in the house so we only managed to sun her for a short while today. Weather before 10am wasn't good too. :p

I'm checking online and some said it may be engorgement cos milk supply is kicking in. Avoid warm towels cos may make the engorgement worse. I don't have cold cabbage so using a small wet towel to apply first and see if it'll feel better later. Need to feed Raelynn later around 11pm also. If still no good, maybe tomorrow walk into parent craft centre and see if they can help bah. My massage lady is from Rustic Nirvana. Supposed to start tomorrow but so far, haven't call to confirm. Don't know when we'll be back from TMC also. :p
 
isnt it strange - that i have no one to talk to when i am down at this time. i bet all my friends are asleep.
my boy just sleep, can you believe it? he was out with us on a stupid bbq event from my hb's relatives side and was over stimulated...i put him to sleep from 9-12...very frustrated...in the end he cried and puked a little. i am bad mommy neh

but most importantly, i am very disappointed with my hb...he just sleep...and i got fedup. we both have to work tmr and i need to bring x from sk to je all by myself. we all have tough lives but every weekend, i am the one doing all the work - putting x to sleep, feed, bathe, cook. my hb's job - play and jagah only when im too bz to cope.

just now we got into a quarrel infront of my boy..he got very quiet and scared...i think it affected him lots...shitz...hope he forgets it quick...

sighs. if life like this goes on, dont think i want #2 coz i really dont want my family to have a non-comitted father/husband...

am i having too high expectations? is it wrong for him to take over some bathtime, some feeds etc? sianz...cry liao oso no one knows how sad i am

i didnt even feel like toking to him the whole of weekend, super fedup
 
hi, pixie, sorry to hear that tonight is such a lousy night for you. Maybe you've been such a strong and efficient mother that your hubby didi't realise you needed help cos sounds like you have always been handling X alone. Plus you all quarrelled so maybe he wasn't in a 'helpful' mood. Did you try asking for his help from 9-12pm? Did he reject you?

I don't think you are having high expectations but I don't know what's your hubby's attitude towards the child rearing responsibilities. I remember he's very happy to be weekend parent whereas you want to bring X home everyday. Maybe your hubby is behaving like this to give you indirect pressure that looking after X is a very tiring thing so that everything will maintain status quo. Anyway, try to communicate to your hubby when both cool down. Hope this will blow over soon for you. Jia you!
 
Pixie,
Saw your FB comments and thought what had happened...? Can understand your frustrations. Sometimes even though you can handle X all by yourself, you also would want a rest or break or wants your hubby to mingle more with X right? Like what Kitsune said, needs to tell him directly that you can't be doing everything and he can help in some of the chores with X. Also hinted to him that kids are sensitive and as they grow up, they may not feel close to him since he is not there to interact with him?

But you are right that if this continues, hard to have #2 coz you may ended up handling 2 kids by yourself which can make people crazy.

Just talk to him calmly over this, ok?
 
pixie,
*big hugz to you* No, I don't think your expectation is too high. But like others have said, I think you need to talk to your hubby and get things clear up. If you need his help, then say it, don't presume he would "automatic" help you whenever needed, as a matter of fact, he (= most men) won't! He may think that since you can handle so well, why should he help.

Probably it's also because X was overstimulated and couldn't go to sleep and so made you tired and frustated, but tell yourself this is not going to happen everyday, it's just one off thing. Think of it the other way, you wouldn't want to just stay at home with X the whole weekend and not doing anything right. Be a bit more relax, if he can't sleep and you know that he was overstimulated, maybe just let him watch a bit of tv, or read him some books, if he can't sleep after 30min.

You are a wise woman and a great mum. I am sure you know how to handle this. Jia you, k!!!
 
gd morning everyone~
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Pixie
hope you are feeling better after a nite's slp. i believe we can all understand what you are going thru... maybe just calm down first.. then talk over with him. you are a wonderful mummy okiez.

once in awhile, when got family gatherings or watever, i think our kids will face such issues cos will be over stimulated. so i guess its no choice cos cant avoid such events. next time just tell ur hubby to control ur boy since its his family event.

Pauline
i like the name with 'ting' nice. so wats ur final decision on Raelynn's chinese name?
 
kitsune, krystle, kam
morning! thanks for all the nice words. very touching neh...
i told him very often i need help in x, y, z etc specfically but he grumbles and grudgingly do lar. but yest nite, one of his hurtful words were that "i always complained that im so bz but he doubts that i am that bz, and that everytime hear me nag about him not comitted enough, he sick of it liao..."
you know, last time (when he was 10x more jialat than this), i oredi nagged until sianz, and stopped completely liao.
but once i stopped, then he will slag. i start to tell him i need help, he start to resent the fact that he has to do more.
vicious cycle lor

kitsune, you are right. he wants to maintain status quo. enjoy with x but dont want to do much
 
pixie, i understand... everywkeend, i also feel v drained n tired. my hb play with my girl while
i hav to cook her meals, feed her, bath her n put her to bed.

we also quarrel many times over my girl, v sad n i know my girl is upset. las sat nite, she also witness us quarrelling, n tht nite, she woke up few times, crying..n kept sayig 'sorry' to me, coz she knows i was upset...

i feel reali guilty...
 
what i was angry about yest nite, apart from all the hurtful words he said, is that he promptly fell asleep and i was tasked the job of putting x to sleep. which is a norm situation but i had lots to do after putting x to sleep: shower, clear up the kitchen, pack my bag for the next day, keep & fold the clothes...i really wished that he could help out...but he dont want to, just want to sleep nia

puiz
you tired, i oso tired wat
 
aqua
ok now we hug each other n cry...
i know men are not as committed as us mummies and i dont wish for a EQUALLY committed hb; i just want a hb who helps out when asked. dont even have to be a "understanding that my wife is tired from all these" kind of hb.
too much to ask meh?

but hor, whenever these kind of things happen, i tell myself, itz ok. coz the only outcome is:
1. my boy is closer to me - thats very important
2. my hb lose out, not me
3. i have to do more, but i enjoy the bonding time with my boy
i tell myself i have my life with my boy can liao. nothing else matters - even if he is not a committed hb/father
 
morning all
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Finally...whole family recovered from stomach flu viral.
Last week was hell for me. At first it was Z then R tio on Thurs, we sent him to A&E at night. Then follow by me on Sat...also had high fever, nearly wanna die. Z was also very cranky over the wkends & hb cane him so hard that there was cane mark on his leg! So heartpain for him. So tired & sleepy still...*yawn*

pixie,
hugz hugz...cheer up babe! We are all here for you...next time u want someone to talk/listen...just sms me cos i am a nite owl *wink*
 
Report on our weekend activities

Terminal 3 is a total dissappointment, don't go!!! The musical ball thing supposed to have sweets came down and let the kids to pick up, but think there was an accident, so now no more. What's happenning now is you have to register (and it's only for kids >5 years old) to participate, and then there were balls coming out from a few "pipe" thingy, then each pick up 1. Really no fun at all. And the music also not attractive.

The snow fantasy thingy also not very nice. It's just a big bouncy slide for kids (and parents) to ride on. My hubby said don't want to go on it cos have to queue. So let HR play at the "normal" slides just next to it, he was equally happy :)

Oh, before that was the Peguine book sales. Was ok, very attractive price, but we don't have much energy to go through it (and because I am not familiar with English books). Just grab some books for HR, total $72 for think >20 books! If this is Popular book sales, I would have gone broke!!

Yesterday was the Thomas & Friends live show at the Indoor Stadium. Because of the Standard Chartered marathon thingy, all the roads going into the stadium were blocked!!! We went round and round and there was only 1 way to get in to the stadium, ie, via ECP towards airport, fort road exit, making us 30min late for the show. So angry with their traffic arrangement. One of the traffic attendant even pointed us to the wrong road, he pointed us to the road where we had just come from, and it's also blocked, so much help, duh!

Luckily there delayed the show a little bit cos a lot of people were late like us. Think we missed maybe 10min or so. But the show itself was nice, my son enjoyed it very much. He sang along with the songs and clapped and cheered along. He turned back and waved goodbye to Thomas many times, till he was almost tearing :) While my girl was happily sleeping soundly, despite the loud music and all, from the minute we stepped in to the stadium to the show ended.
 
Aqua,
*hugz* Don't compare how much you do and how much he does, because it will never be equal. Don't you enjoy spending time with your girl? then take it as precious bonding time and don't think of it as doing chores. If you are really tired, then just don't cook. Tell you hub, I am tired, you either bring us out for dinner or buy food for us. Stay cool, k!

ya, as you said it yourself, it's not good to quarrel in front of the kids. Avoid it if you can. We have never done that in front of my kids. Even if I am unhappy, but I would still put on a smile and play with him.
 


kam
oooo then i dont plan to go airport liao

yest we went to the bob the builder show at jurong point1, my boy loves it. he was dancing to the music etc and kept saying "waaaaaaaaaa!" very very loudly until quite a few ppl turned around, so paiseh haha

steph
wah the virus is sure STRONG leh. whole family kena. u recovered completely liao mah?
 
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