(2007/11) November MTBs

Olivetree, our elder child is same age . My son is coming 3 in Feb. He is kind of difficult too .He is very attached to me and made things difficult for me at home. How? Kind of silly! He doesnt allow me to go toilet and to bathe at night. He wants me to stay in the study room to play all the time. I cant leave the room.
I am someone who has a soft spots and I v seldom discipline him.My husband is the disciplinary.
He uses cane.

I am very tense at home most of the time. Afraid his scream would wake baby up and then I have no peace and no rest. Baby wants me to carry all the time.
 


skye, same here..big doesnt mean good...men like la of course..but its a 'burden' to us!

Olivetree, i got mine from Tom & stephanie (with bra clip behind) and another one from Sprin materinity. actually they are nt official nursing bras but i find it works well for me.

the Sorella ones u recommended is it nursing bra (tat means with drop cup clip) or normal bras?

Re: handling 2 kids
me too usually weekends i will be very very tired....cos my son will be home with me.Like now, jus managed to settle my gal and let my son watch some cartoon CD to give my self some 'free time' hubby have to meet clients today....aft latching also no time to pump today...

yes we use the cane sometimes..but i dun really hit him with it..the cane is more for 'threatening'. i find sometime we do need to enforce these. before i had kids, i used to hate the idea of parents using canes on kids. but sometimes a little of such discipline is defintately necessary.but my hb ever caned him a few times before. for me i also cant bear to hit him with it, jus 'action' only.
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Dokie, me and hb both equal le. we dun believe in that one of use should be the 'bad guy'. we see the situation. but we practise the 'silent partner' way. for eg, my hb disciplining my son bUT i think tt its nt a big issue, i will jus keep quiet and aft that will discuss with hb what my views were. we dun defend the kids in front of them so tt they know when they make mistakes, no one will side them.
 
hi tinkabel/catherine,
how are we going to share cab?
which option do you prefer...

1) I get a cab, then go get catherine at BM central, then tb heights?

2) Tinkabel get a cab, then go get catherine at BM central then pick me at BM view?

It should take 30mins after all of us in cab to get to tweety's place. so we meet anytime from 11-11.30am?
 
today my massage lady who iz a nurse came massage for mi n saw my lump... i told her my incident she tried to massage for mi to c if can clear the lump BUT the whole breast is soft oreadi after massage EXCEPT the 2cm x 2cm lump ... haiz... she told mi it might b due to tisse scarring where my wound is and as no pain n no redness (might nt b an abscess)n ask mi to observe if getting bigger or not... i reali no choice but to ask gabrielle to clear that lump so let her latch on(wiz i dun wish to) BUT despite 4 times that thingy is still there no change in size... she oso commented that i shdnt stop BFing... BUT I REALI DUN WANA BFing anymore... so mani problem... *cry cry*
 
grace,
I think i shd be last, cos then can exit out to vivo city and onto ECP. Not sure about whether u or cat shd get cab 1st.
 
Elaine, poor u... *hugz*

Frankly speaking, I also have some problems stopping bfing.. I can't seem to stop totally!!! the lumps in my breasts will only go away when i express out. If not, they will get so painful, i can't even handle my baby or do other work properly. So i have to pump but that makes me return to square one coz my ss will increase again... haiz! I have second thoughts abt taking medications after reading some of the posts here. Talked to my mum abt this, and she said maybe i'm not meant to stop bfing... Sigh!

Now, i'm in a real dilemma coz on one hand, i do like the gratification seeing my baby taking my breastmilk and growing (really!) well on it. On the other hand, there's the work commitment, family harmony and of coz my dearest husband i need to be concerned of also. BF and pumping sessions seem to get in the way of these .. (unless i have 2 or more maids who miraculously drop from the sky to help me take care of my 2 kids and housechores!)
 
Hi mummies who have 2 kids, I only have 1... hee... but as an early childhood educator, please do not use the cane on ur elder child if u have never used it for the same scenario before your 2nd darling came along, This is what we called the 2nd child syndrome. Just to share and let u gers know cos I've seen many cases like this and we can only wait for the elder child to get accustomed to the new member, make him/ her feel involved by getting them to do small tasks like fetch the bottle for didi or meimei. This will gicve them a sense of ownership (he's elder bro/ sis) and would help him phase into the reality that from this day forth, someone is "sharing" mummy with him/ her. Also, try to ask for the elder kid 1st b4 calling out for the newborn. This will make them feel that "I am still mummy's fave" and try to read stories to them about equality and love that u have for him/ her. Tis is just my little input. I hope it will help the "elder kids".

Who's staying in Hougang/ Bishan? I can give u a lift if its convenient.
 
Gillian, I was also thinking of getting a cane to keep and use it to "threaten" only. But decide againsts it coz i know the 'novelty' of the cane will wear off eventually on my elder gal. Kids seem smarter nowadays.

olivetree, my elder gal has been manageable so far... but mayb because she is just turning 2.. not yet the terrible 2 stage. I still treat her the way i did when she was the only child then. But i realised that she is not so "scared" of me now unlike before.So she still will "test water" most of the times. When she knows i'm angry or scold her, she will come and hug me and give me that puppy eyes... then i will "melt" loh... She only "scared" of daddy.
 
Sabrina, think u have to do it gradually. jus pump enough to relieve dun over-pump.supply will sure drop aft a while.Try nt to take the medicine if u can bear with it or the condition is nt tt bad. me too find tt expressing milk take up alot of my time esp i latch and pump the other side aft tt. Now instead of pumping aft each feed, i pump only 2x a day. although might get engorge betwen feeds, might i think my ss has stablised so still ok.

Gillian, ya agree with u. we started using the 'cane' method before Mischa's arrival. since bb arrived, we kept reminding ourselves nt to 'be different' to him in any ways. also we NEVER reprimand him becos of anything he did to meimei. instead all the 'punishment' is becos of his own behaviour, e.g. not obeying us etc...

his school teacher also told us the same thing as u mentioned...so far his 'sibling jealousy' nt so bad like initial days when we brought meimei home. and regarding involving him in little chores, like fetching diapers etc really works! he feels happy to get involved.

Its true tt most ppl will say our way of discipline might be wrong. but sometimes hor...due to stress and frustration having to care for a young baby, housework, BF, work and coping with a tod can be over-whelming. so sometimes we jus cant control our temper i think is inevitable.
 
sabrina, i thinking of stopping at 2. but talking the PILL nvr crossed my mind...i very scared of all the side effects...havent talked to gynae abt this...but i plan to do some form of contraceptive . maybe next appt i will get advice from gynae ...tt reminds me i haven done my pap smear....is it a bit late?
 
Mummies with 2 kids: Do u face difficulty juggling 2 now?
It is really a struggle with no helper and alone. Every night 10pm to 12 midnight is a pain.
Both also want me. Husband is the impatient type. Once baby cried, gave up and pushed him to me.
Now I am not working, I can still tahan. I cant imagine when I start working. I really donno how.
When I think about it, I just want to cry.
I just managed to put both to bed.
 
S@L, no lah, it's not too late to do pap smear. I have never taken the pill before, that's y i'm "asking" around for opinions right now.

dokie, when are u returning to work?
 
S@L, weekends also tough because my mum not here and husband is always out for class or out for appointment. I am usually alone. I have to feed baby, pump, cook, put them to sleep, etc It is round the clock until 12 midnight. No rest at all. I still pump immediately after I latch on.
 
dokie, my hubby so far ok willing to help and in fact more patient than me! but hiaz..he dunno my kids 'pattern'....he basically is my 'extra hands' most of the times..haaha like ask him to fetch this and tt la...but coazing kids he still nt tt good la..or maybe my kids only wan me? my smell?so end up is still me !

now i learn to let go ... now i send my gal to my mum more often. at least when i come bk home alone, i can clean the hse, do some wrk and 'groom' myself with manicure etc..with them ard totally impossible. The only setback is since i dun latch my gal, so i have to pump more...at least can pump in peace!

same here..now my 2 'devils' are asleep. hehe

SAbrina, oh waht i meant was i think gynae scheduled a post natal checkup aft 6 weeks from delivery..now already past tt...i better make an appt next week.
i think there are other way of 'prevention' rather than pills. i very scared i will put on loads of wt if on pill. cos one of my aunt was on pill for a long period of time. the side effects was her weight kept piling up.
 
dokie, then who will be taking care of ur 2 kids? I will be returning to work this thurs.. hopefully my mum can cope with 2 kids alone..
Sometimes i feel stressed out also coz my husband sees the kids 2-3 times a week only... so the parenting job is solely on me.
 
S@L, i also did my pap smear a few days ago. My gynae said won't make any diff if do later. n agree with u that i'm also scared i will put on more unwanted weight if i ever consider taking the pill... but i will never consider IUD or ligation.
 
S@L, patience is important in child upbringing.
I am ok to look after the boys. But sometimes just need the extra hand during "crisis" Perhaps I should get a maid. I am reluctant because I am very hands on person. I am afraid I cant delegate.

Sabrina. very tough life! My mum is taking care of my 2 boys. One goes to half day childcare. I am reluctant to send him to full day for fear of falling sick easily.
My hubby attends school 3 times a week. Goes to church on friday. So similar to you, the parenting responsibility is on me.
I am totally max out. No one to complain!
 
dokie, same here la....in fact i dun look forward to weekend le....cos more work for me. But i dunno is it me or u think the same- i prefer to spend my wekends outside e.g.shopping, outdoor activity, picnic, park etc rather than be at home the whole day on weekends. cos i find tt while shopping etc, my mind is nt jus on my kids. and hb is ard to help carry bb ...time passes fast and nt as tiring for me when out....and bb sleeps and feeds well when outside...nt like at hm will be cranky, dunno what she wants.

u ss must be very good now. i confess i m lazy . cos by the time i finish latching her, sometimes feel like conking out already. or steal the time to cook, eat, or surf net. so sometimes i 'skip' a few pumping session. also i looked at my ss quite ok so dun wan to over-stimulate anymore....

but thanks to Sabrina, i took over her single elec pump. so yday no chance to sit on my bed to use my double pump, i simply used the single pump so the other hand i surf net and do work...manage to yield quite a bit. i think a relaxed mood is really impt when pumping.
 
Sabrina, why nt IUD? i was thinking of tt...now there is a smaller insert available right...what i dread is the 'proceedure'..hiaz...if only no need to 'prevent'...tt will be nice.

as for ligation, i almost wanted to do it since i also c-sect. Gynae also asked if i wan. BUT hb stopped me. he say still young, afraid i will regret if times are better in future and we wan more kids? hahha...i dun think so...if times will be better, then time for me to ENJOY!

Dokie, having a maid is really alot of luck. Aft my 'maid incident', i totally lost faith in one. HB asked me if i wan to engage another helper...but i choose to stay this way for now. Although i admit the hse a bit more messy aft the maid left, clothing pile up for ironing...BUT i feel more 'relaxed' without one at home. maybe a part time cleaner will be good for me. So far hb and myself delegate chores betwn us. we are enjoying the 'privacy' which we lost when the maid was ard.

actually ur mum helps u during the weekdays right? so nt tt bad la. maybe weekends u can travel to ur mum plc instead? sometimes if i m nt working on a project at hm, i will still take care of mischa myself. but tt day so funny, was in the loo doing the big business...Mischa woke up and wailed for milk. So no choice as i was alone, i had to latch her in the toilet..hahaha....then she dozed off to sleep right aft tt i quickly put her back to her cot! Yuckss!!the worse 'meal' of the day for her.
 
S@L, I don like to go out. I find it very stressful to handle a new born and a tot. Plus I still cook for my son. So even more stress up because I have to carry many barang barang. So now I prefer to stay at home.
I don desire to go out. Generally I am a kids centred person.

My ss I never go and monitor. Should be ok. If I choose not to pump, I am also ok. Just that having pump for 2 months immediately after feed, I am more or less used to it. I am eyeing on getting swing. Any idea where can I get it at a good price?
 
Re: Abscess

Hi ttl and mummies,

i fear i might have kena abscess.

i hve tis pimple thing on my left aerola now fom last week. no pain. then tis left breast ever grew warm and red once in november when i had fever. suspect was mastitis. but i recovered after self medication by taking panadol.

currently i am experiencing a big lump on my upper left breast. i am beginning to fear tat it be abscess.

trying to keep pumping now to see if the lump is purely caused by engorgement or really abscess.

please provide me with dr karen yap contact. just in case. also, where is her clinic located?


I am staying in the west. If any of you hve a breast doc to recommend, please provide me with the contact details also.
thanks in advance.
 
S@L,,ha ha ha, u are joker! Latched on in the toilet...:p
It is a real problem for SAHM with no helping hand. Cant even go toilets at times.

Cant lah. My mum needs to rest. She is very petite. She is only 35Kg. I cant bear to make her "suffer" on weekends. Besides she loves shopping. Weekends is her personal time.
 
Dokie, i have seen bundled packages during sale at Robinson. i think good buy if u need the accessories eg. cooler bag etc. everywhere i see i think Robinson still selling the most reasonable during sales. if u have robinson card more rebate. maybe can get a 2nd hand like i did by taking over Sabrina's Avent pump
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Re: going out with kids
i think differently ... i feel tt i enjoy the time spent outside with them especially bringing my son out to places he likes makes me a happier mum=happier kid.
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at hm i get frustrated easily end up scolding my son...and like nt enjoying our times together. but i admit with my hb around helps alot cos he will 'take over' either the kids or my housework when he sees me in the bad mood.

have u considered to be a SAHM since u actually dedicate a lot of ur time on ur kids?
 
mummies, i read tt mummies with good / high ss of BM have to take Calcium supplements as it indicates tt BM is 'striping' of our body's calcium. Anyone knows if any kind of calcium pills are suitable for BF mums? or is there any types/brands to avoid?
 
re: 2 kids
olivetree, dokie, i'm facing the same problems as both of you... my elder gal turining 3 in July also giving me a lot of headache...
i hv been trying to stop myeslf to punish/scold her cos of mei-mei... however, sometimes really cannot help it!
i also agree that shld still place the elder one above the younger one, but i feel that sometimes it's not bcos of mei-mei that she is behaving in tat way... cos i have asked the elder one to help in various ways (e.g. bringing meimei's hanky, etc.) and she would gladly help... she also loves to hug and kiss mei-mei and would make mei-mei kiss her too! Besides, we have brought her (just her) with us in our Taiwan trip. With her alone, she also behaves in the same way! She will still purposely do things which we asked her not to do!
I am really having big headache over this as to how my mother and maid will b able to handle 2 of them once i start work! *sigh*

dokie, can really understand how much time ur 2 kids demand from you. Although i have a maid, but i still do not really let her handle my 2 kids much, except for feeding and playing with my elder gal and occasional minding of the little one. In this way, i make sure that i am on top of all the things the 2 little ones are. The maid is purely helping around mainly with housework and as an extra hand when i need it.... haha, actually i find it a bit ironic cos even though with a maid, i find myself still busy with the kids on weekends!

S@L, actually i'm like u, last time with 1 kid, i prefer to spend wkend outside, so that time passes quickly and i don't know what to do with her at home when she gets cranky... however, now with 2 kids, i try to stay home as much as possible on wkends cos it's such a chore bringing a tod and a baby out (with so many barang barang to bring along)... so if i wanna go out, will dump the maid and baby at my mother's place and juz bring the elder one out... but i also try to make my 'outing' short and infrequent so that my mum can also hv her personal time with my dad to go out...
 
Sabrina, nope i jus called. and they gave me alot of 'excuses 'la...as expected...they ask me to replace the valve and the silicone petal cos tt will affect suction...well i bought those to replce...but hv to tried cos the ones u passed to me are quite new too right? anyway is works fine , manage to yield abt the same as when i use my DUO. its prob the suction as compared to my DUO (which claimed to be of hospital grade suction
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) so i dun bother to go down and change yet.

Plim, maybe cos my son dun need to bring any barang anymore..he eats outside food and toilet trained. so nothing much to bring. and cos i lathing my gal so only bring clothes and diapers... prob cos i also spend a lot of time at hm, so feel cooped up if weekends also stay at hm. once a while i do enjoy the 'laxed' time at hm doing nothing but feeding and playing with them.
 
S@L, drink carrot juice will give u the calcium your body needs.
SAHM: No leh. My hubby don support. Besides I like to have financial independence even though my hubby paid for most expenses at home including yearly vacation.

Plim: that is why I hesitated and didnt push for a maid. I am also particular with hygience. How to let maid handle? Sigh!

Any way to prevent abscess?
 
S@L,
my doc told me to continue with my calcium n iron pills even after i delivered as i am breastfeeding. In fact, he told me to double the dosage for my iron pills as i plan to have another baby end of this year. I got the calcium pills from his clinic,the brand is Calcidan, its 600mg calcium + vitamin D.
 
having read all the posts on some of the mummies here having problems after trying to stop bfeeding, is it true that one face problems trying to stop bfeeding? problems such as lumps, abscess, etc?
yalor, how to prevent all these problems from occuring leh?
 
elaine:: hugs hugs. hope you feel better soooon!

sabrina:: yes, i also have friends who advised me against medicine and ask me to stop the milk gradually. but really sian, don't know how long will it TAKE!!! OMG. she say must do it very consistently, like replace one same feed with FM or EBM everyday for 1 wk and soon your body will know: you don't need milk at that time. and then we can move on to the replacing another feed. goodness. HEADACHE!!!
 
Hi,

I am getting anxious now. my lump in breast like quite bad. seems like abscess. couldnt get an appt at kkh to see a breast doc.

trying to contact dr karen yap the breast doc who has a clinic in mount E. Hope she is the right karen yap mentioned by ttl n her above post.
 
s@l, me also eating calcium pills, fish oil and iron pills. didnt stop at all cos of bfeeding.
same brand for calcium pills as ueno. got it from doctor...
 
re: calcium pills
that reminds me, i keep forgetting to take my pre-natal supplements which my gynae asked me to continue taking even after delivery...
i'm the type who always forget to take medicine one...
sad.gif
now must quickly go and take!
 
hihi, does anyone have a part-time domestic helper to recommend? i'm going back to work aft cny and my mil will be home..dun want to burden her with housework + baby. and do part-time domestic helpers do washing of clothes?

re: calcium pills
we can only get that with doc's prescription? can we get those over the counter or at pharmacies? will drinking milk be enough?
 
pig07, faster go and see. Don delay.

Plim, important to take supplements. I am like u when I bf my first child. Always forget.
Now I am a supplement person. If we have any deficiency, our BM will also have. It depends on whether is the deficiency important for baby or not.

Grace, how come u don take multi vit? Isnt it sufficient as they are calcium and iron in it?
 
hi plim and dokie,

ya.. managed to get an appt for today afternoon to see dr karen yap. the lump is not painful..but can feel tat its there and will not go away after pumping unlike previous pumping sessions. the pimple on aerola also not painful.

perhaps is a sign for me to stop bf-ing liao.
 
Plim, my baby also has fever. The funny thing abt the rashes is when she has fever, it will turn red and angry.

Prior to her jab, she has rashes liao but after her jab, the rashes like become worse and develop more.
 
pig07, don talk about stopping bf. Just go and consult first. Once u see her, everything will be taken care of. Don worry too much.
 
k@ye, i rem. my elder gal kanna b4 (not due to any jab), she had rather high fever for abt 4-5 days and developed rashes on her body, arms and legs (a lot on body and looks really red, ugly and rough), it went off after the fever subsided... now suddenly can't remember the name of what is it called... but seems quite common... would advise u to bring bb to see PD to verify tat it's nothing more serious than tat...
 


skye, u're looking for a part-time cleaner on a daily basis or weekly basis?
i used to engage one and i find her good (reliable and honest) but her charges is $10 per hr (weekdays, but not sure if she has a min. num. of hrs or not) so if u're looking for one on a daily basis, dunno if she will be able to fit ur requirements not... let me know...
 
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