Sharing this article with all the mummies here.
By Sujatha Rajagopal
<font color="0000ff">A Father’s Day Message for Mums.</font>
In every family, mum is often the trapeze-artist, swinging dangerously high then low in the circus called parenthood. It’s never easy being a mother. But we aren’t alone. Yes, it’s time to thank the partner who extends his hand and grasps ours firmly every time. Helping us to not fall. Or being there to pick us up when we do.
How can we thank dads? Let’s start by trusting their parenting style.
It is not the purpose of this article to critique mothers and how we bring up our young. Instead, this article hopes to remind mums that even when our spouses don’t seem as engaged as we wish they’d be, they do care. And often times, their style works. Simply realizing this will make us better mothers. Taking a leaf from our spouse’s book now and then may make us the best mothers ever!
Here are some reasons to trust your spouse’s approach…
Dad’s way: more play
In almost every household, mothers who come home from work don’t actually switch to “home” mode. That’s because we feel we’re greeted by chores to do, dishes to wash, toys to pick up. Dads meanwhile just hang up their shirts and roll on the floor with the kids, toys and all. Unfair? Yes. But it needn’t be.
All work and no play makes mum a dull girl. While we are gifted multitaskers we barely notice that our efficiency sometimes takes us further away from our husband and kids and causes us to lose sight of priorities. It bears repeating that mums aren’t the only super-parent. The important difference is that dads know when to shrug off the cape.
Dad’s way: risks pay off
Many of us grew up with over-protective parents. But if you consider it carefully, dads tend to nurture a child’s sense of abandon more than mums do.
Kids hear a lot of “Don’ts” from mums. Dads, on the other hand, tend to let the little ones take the risks and learn from them. “Try it!” they’ll say, knowing that Junior could be hurt but staying just within reach so that if he does take a tumble, someone is there to catch him in time.
It’s like learning to cycle. When we let our kids fall or trip over the pedals once or twice, they end up discovering a lifelong skill.
Dad’s way: details can wait
There may be no clearer marker on the difference in parenting styles than how we deal with the little things.
Mothers are natural perfectionists: we like to see matching clothes, pristine rooms and clockwork bedtimes. “If an extra five minutes mean a happier child, I’d rather give it to her,” says Don, father to two young girls. “Tara does a great job getting the girls looking pretty but I focus on comfort first, matching socks last,” he adds, grinning sheepishly.
There’s of course nothing wrong in caring about the finer points of child rearing…but we often have Dads to thank for not losing focus on what is more important.
Families function best when both dads and mums are in sync. And it’s true that fathers may not always know best. But with Father’s Day around the corner, let us empathize with his hopes, worries and guilt trips. Let us celebrate his opinions, playfulness, even his mistakes.
Let us reconsider the electric shaver or expensive perfume he may never use. Perhaps the best Father’s Day gift is a note that says, “I love how you do what you do for me and the kids. Thank you.”
