ZhuZhu,
Well, what I'm gg to post next may be harsh and may not be wht comfortable for your ears but bear with me for my frank opinion.
Actually you should have discussed and talked to your brother prior to the birth of your nephew to work out the best arrangment cos your mum was already taking care of your dd then.
You may want to consider speaking to your mum and brother together at the same time if maid is really out of option? Like what other suggested if the issues is on the cost, try forking out the money all by yourself? However I do not agree that the maid shall look after your bb and full stop.
Yes, your bro have shown unkind act to you in your time of need but every man for himself. At least that is the cruel reality the world works that we have no choice but to admit. However you need not repay him with it. It will only shows that you are being calculative and tt would be the least your mum wants to see. What most it will also make you constantly want to spot check if bb is helping out with nephew. It is not good for children to grow up in this kind of environment tt what is mine is soley mine only. (I believe in you reap what you sow, 以得报怨)
Seriously have you spoken to your MIL with this before or you are not even considering her an as option to help? Do find a time, sit down with your dh and on a piece of paper writing down all your option, togther withthe pros and the cons before coming to a decision.
Ask your MIL is she willing to give up her pay and look after her grandchild? If she said no, then you know you can straight away cross her out as an option but if she is willing then you can consider listing her as your help.
Yes, I know it will be hard to trust someone who has never taken care of children before but was she given a chance in the 1st place? If she was denied of a chance in the 1st place then dun expect her to know everything abt caring and looking after newborn. (give her the benefit of doubt)
If she is ok with it, try discussing with her that she learn from your CL during your confinment and you will be there to help for at least 3 months (assuming you are clearing 3 months of ML) You can consider giving her a token (maybe $300??)whereas you will bear the expenses of bb's need such as diaper, medical fee, bb's food etc?? You can even consider getting a maid and leaving Tricia there as well and you pick up the kiddos after work or even have dinner at her place???
She may not be good in taking care of kids but at least you know that her love for her grandchildren are geniue
and they will never be mistreated.
If all the options are out then you know your next step is nanny or ifc. At least you narrow down which direction you need to head to next.
It is natural that being preggy and thrown off guard of what is expected do make a woman much more vulnerable and teary. But do not take everything upon yourself. Involve your dh in all discussion and decision making. Sometime you will be surprise he actually give you more encouragement than expected.
I dun really agree with some (sorry hor Choco, dun mean to go against your idea *Snnowy give you a big smile
) that you still have 5 months to go and think cos I know that so long a decision/solution is not finalised you will be constantly worrying and getting upset. *That is maternal instinct*
Sit down with your hubby this weekend and list down:
Mum with maid
Pros
-
-
-
Cons
-
-
-
MIL's help (w or w/o maid)
Pros
-
-
-
Cons
-
-
-
Nanny
Pros
-
-
-
Cons
-
-
-
IFC
Pros
-
-
-
Cons
-
-
-
Settle it asap and start psychoing yourself to expect tt by next year so that you can concentrate and enjoy your pregnancy.
Lastly, hope your get the best solution out and family bliss