Xman,
You are welcome
I understand how you feel. Frankly speaking I hate it when people tells me it will gets better/It will be over soon. I'm a person who, rather than waiting for a miracle or this phase to be over. I rather do something and see if situation gets better. I also trial and error (after all, being parents has no straight definition. It all abt trial and error as each child is different).
I'm not as "wei da" as what they mentioned. '比上不足，比下有余'(There are other mummies who do so much better than me out there. so I'm just so-so. I'm not doing the best for them yet I dun neglect them. it mean). There are people who look up to stay at home mum. 24/7 w/o leave and pay but I looked up to working mum. Having to wake up early to work, yet after work have to take care of kids/dinner/housework/school stuff. It not as if after work, they come back, can have piping hot dinner and shake legs on sofa. You get what I mean. My bottom line is so long you are a mummy, you have my respect.
I think all the more you try to distance yourself and bb with Ruoxi when bf-ing, all the more she purposely wants to disturb. Try and hold bb's hand in front of her when you latch the next time. If she tries to drags bb's hand, you tell her to hold bb's hand instead while you can touch Ruoxi's face/hair etc. Or alternatively, you pass a hanky for bb to hold during latching and you hold Ruoxi’s hand. If possible, latch bb with her sitting beside you, rather than asking your mum to accompany her while you and bb disappeared into the room. All the more it makes her feel tht bb is having more pte time with mummy. Bb is snatching mummy from her. It adds on to her insecurity of her presence in the family.
To re-start assuring her she is still your darling and you’ll be there for you, you may want to consider waking up at 3am or 6am for a pump. When she is awake you can pass the bb to your mum to feed while you attend to her (this is when she is not in cc as you mentioned she only attend 1 week due to being sick). If she is in cc, you can try to pump and store, when she is back from half day cc, you attend to her while your mum can attend to bb.
Also set an event that you will do together with her everyday w/o fail but not involving bb for a start. For me, we make it a point to bath together at 6.30pm every day. And yes, it an event that we will do w/o lyn for 3 months w/o fail. Now her new activity is bathing together with Lyn at 6.30pm everyday.
I think it would also be good to let her continue cc since you have started on it. Then make it a point to wake her up every day, tie her hair or prepare her for school. Alternatively gets your mum to prepare her and you bring her there personally.
These are the ways that you can play around and yet tap on your helper for assistance. Things are never easy but it can be done. In the past, my greatest record was to off the stove 10x due to kiddos crying before I could put up a dinner. It difficult, it hard but grin your teeth and you’ll get through it. Believe me
I have no intention to send Qweii off to cc yet as it will very much defeat my purpose of being a SAHM. Since I’m prepared to be a SAHM, I would love to have them with me revolving around my life every day. I believe I reap in what I sow as the kids are very very close to me and we share a lot of secrets like snacking on chocolate together, drawing Doraemon, hiding teddy bears from Daddy and bathing together. In my personal opinion, children no longer have any childhood in this high living standard of Singapore. Once they start on nursery, it will be schooling all the way from Kindergarten, primary school, secondary to JC or poly then to uni and when they finished. It time for them to work and start their own lives. So I rather keep them wif me 1st and provide a happy childhood for their memories.
Now they are almost inseparable. Must bath and eat together.Qweii wouldn't leave the house w/o Lyn tagging along. Even poo also poo together. Some times I wish I could spilt into 2. Hope Ruoxi and Zhuoxi will also be like this pair of sisters 6 months later.
