If i were to post this before 10am.. this post would certainly be in caps.. and puntuctued with many exclamation marks.. but now.. no.. this post will be a lot milder and slightly refective in tone...
why the change??
well.. good news.. at 9am, on 17 dec 2007.. in front of me, and me alone.. Teng pulled himself up to stand in the cot..
i went bonkers.. and thought i was hallucinating.. well. try again! i said.. put him seated down faceing the higher cot bar.. and he did it again.. with such amazing fluidity.. as thought he has been doing that for months..
and i started crying.. tears of joy.. and with massive relief.. and i was laughing and crying.. at the same time
.. i did it again and agiant. sat him down. and teng did it again and again... I went speechless.. and just kept crying.. hugging him and crying..
there was this worried look on his face.. "what's wrong mama?? i pulled to stand didn't I? why are u still crying???"
Yes u did.. my dear boy. yes u did..
i controlled myself.. and put him to bed.. and at 10am.. my mum came.. and here's when things turned a little touchy.
wanted to suprise her.. so pretended to look gloomy (my usual expression). she asked why?., I murmured "nothing"..but believe me. i was almost bursting out in sheer joy and excitement.. wanting to share my joy with her...
finally teng woke up.. i cannot hold on any longer.. carried him up. think he was still blurred.. haven't woken up fully. and found himself dumped siting in the cot.. expected to show his newly aqquired stunt to MaoMAo..
and no he didn't. he saw MaoMao.. and screamed hysterically.. wanted to be carried...
and i was stumped.. and Mao mao was too. she never heard teng screamed this way before.. refused to admit defeat.. i placed the screaming boy bacn into the cot. .and he screamed again..
Mao mao immediately carried him up. and i was fe dup.. with the boy.. screamed at him.. immediately there was tension in the air.. and Mao mao.. certainly felt upset.. she sat alone.. in the living hall.. leaving screaming teng stuck in his pram.. watching me cook.. he cooled down after a while.. and played with his stroller toys..
done with my prepartions.. carried teng.. asked my mum come into my room.. she was very sad looking..
placed a screaming teng into the cot.. and instructed my mum not to go away.. she wanted to leave.. coz she can't bear see teng cry..
and then. teng pulled himself to stand.. she was stunned.. i think she held back her tears.. as teng cruised around the cot..
i told my mum. "teng can do it now..dun worry. he is not screaming because he is not well.. he is being naughty.. and is bullying u.. i will be with u.. dun let him bully u.. bear with his crying.. and soon he knows.. that he can't depend on u.. and he will perform for u also.." i smiled at my mum.. i think she understood what i meant.. she carried him downstairs for a walk.. i let her.. i 'nagged' at her.. "un understand? jus tlet him cry.. and we will see mor eof this coming...u understand?? u understand??"... she said.. ya lah ya lah.. aiyoh.. i smiled.. she smiled..
now.. teng crusing.. i think mum is going to sit him down. and yes he will scream.. but he will pull up himself.. mum is happier.. and certainly. me too..
but as i looked at teng cruise in his cot.. and pulling up with such confidence and fluidtiy.. i hope.. that my mum starts to believe in me.. and in herself.. and teach teng.. to be truly independent..
"dear Lord.. u will let this come true again.. right?..just like u let teng pull to stand.. in front of me, just me, today....."