Just having some thots..
Sometimes although he been thru so much and sometimes regret having little L coz he suffer so much, yet when see his big eyes looking back at me, smiling and playing happily away, when he keep flipping to his sides both left and right he is ok, looking at people and things so intently, I guess that's why his eyes are big, to look and observe! I can't imagine life without him and his bro. Although b4 giving birth to him, I wonder whether how to have more love when I love #1 so much, but naturally more love naturally comes.
Although he still not yet won his battle, but am glad to see he is still fighting on strongly despite his health, surprisingly he is quite strong with his grip and standing when all along I am so worried abt his development coz naturally he will be weaker than his peers. But of coz his health takes priority over anything now, so sometimes I tell myself not to think too much, not to compare, he's my special baby.
Someone told me I shd be thankful, he suffer when he's a baby, at least he don't rem the pain when he grow up, hopefully his future childhood down the years will be painless and happy for him. At first I don't agree coz I feel life is cruel to him when he barely seen the world yet but now seeing his smiles makes me think maybe its true.. he won't rem.
But I feel sad coz as a human.. 'chi shi fu'.. but he won't be able to have this 'fu' lo.. can't eat what he like.