(2007/03) March 2007 MTBs

AA: ya. that i concur. they will eventually get there.. just a matter of time.. i have learned to tell myself.. dun compare.. teng is fine and happy now ..

autum: miser will agree with u.. patience is a virtue which must be developed.. then he will say 'tolerance'.. he tells me that all the time! then say.. teng inherited my bad temper.. and i tell him. 'worse still teng has my bad temper and ur slowness'.. then he concludes.. teng is autistic! and he made me sit down..s earched ad do a test on it ah! ha.. funny lah stupid miser!
 


RR: Same case as me.. My hubby is super slow to complete a list of tasks. However, he's very detailed. But my complain is that he's not very efficient. Some things I can do in one meeting, for him, it'll take him 3 meetings for eg.
 
Astro: Your hubby is super funny.. I think Teng will be a humorous guy, cos both papa and mama have a good sense of humor.
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Ok ladies.. Me going off to bed now.. Tired.. Chat with you tom..
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Nite nite..
 
SQ,
huh? u expect QQ to call her gynae now?? Unless it's very serious (choy choy).. but i think she is waiting till tomorrow to call bah..
 
autum: really lah. i am not joking.. honestly. both of us are anti social. miser poor with ang mo.. i poor with maths.. so both parents autistic.. so kid must be autistic!

RR: i am also impatient.. sometimes i tell miser..'hurry up!!!'.. then he still do SLOWLY.. gosh..but when i need help to analyse soemting.. that's when i am proud of my miser.. other than that.. i always dig at him :p
 
RE: T2

Sometimes I feel, T2 is caused by parents themselves. Because there are certain things that we tolerate when they are 'younger' and then now that they are 'older', we feel that they shouldn't be entitled to that kind of tolerance anymore. They are used to be "King/Queen" of the world and suddenly we tore them off their throne and tried to put them in their place. That is a problem for them obviously.

Hmm, now that YT is finally wising up to smacking, I have better control over her behaviour, haha.
 
AA: let' see.. Teng threw his food on the floor and he laughed.. yes. he is humourous then.. *straight face*

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SQ: no yet.. QQ wants to monitor first.. she's asleep liao..
 
AA,
precisely! My hubby's also a very detailed person but lack of efficiency. He puts the blame on being in the military for too long liao. What kind of logic is that??
 
SQ,
how come u login so late?

Mejo,
well said! so going by your argument, is it possible that the parent doesn't feel there is T2 because the parent can still tolerate the behaviours?
 
astro
i c
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re: T2
does it matter whether it's T1, T2 or T3? machiam difference between Cathay or SQ? whatever T, YE still gets the same whacking from me. should i be more tolerant if it's a different T? *blur*
 
autum
just came back from jap class
going to zz now
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oh ya AA
congrats on the menses. haha.. i was wondering if you are preggie for quite a while but din wanna stress you out
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mejo: hmmmm.. interesting perspective.. but how about this? T2 is not caused by parents per se.. but amplified by parents not being able to accept it.. ?
 
SQ,
hahahahaha... your question sort of echo mine this morning.. i asked how do we know if it's T2, T3 or T-whatever..

hmm, actually hor, u always say you whack YE, but you don't really really whack right? I mean, more like scolding right? U smack her?
 
Autum, YY,

True both ways. But I do believe that there are kids who dun go through T2. As in seriously dun. My nephew is one case example. He is an exceptional child. He can sit through mass quietly without fuss at 2. When my MIL couldn't carry him due to pain from surgery, he accepted her reasoning. He is super mature from young. At 2 years of age, he ismore well behaved than some adults. Haha.
 
Mejo,
i think EJ is a bit like your nephew but not as mature la. Hmm, and I think he behaves differently with different people. Like your example of your MIL who can't carry him.. i have a similar story. Sometimes i will ask my mum to go to the CC to pick EJ.. and when she picks, they have to walk home.

EJ will want to be carried by my mum.. but after reaching a certain part of the journey, my mum will put him down and tell him "Po Po shou3 suan1" and she will do the patting-her-arm-action to indicate her hand is aching. And EJ accepts that! And now, whenever my mum picks him, he will automatically say "PoPo shou suan" when they reach the half-way mark.

However, when he is with his papa (or me).. he will whine and demands to be carried all the way! :p
 
RR
thanks
astro is v good in supplying us with info
in fact, it's a good time to get preggie now cos astro's going through pregnancy and she will be able to supply all the relevant information!
*wink*
 
autum
of cos i want to train her to be patient, perhaps im the one who is not patient. sometimes i feel that hubby can tahan her nonsense more than me.

guess wat, just after i posted, she took my hair gel, secretly open it up and pour on my bed! i snatched away from her and shouted at her. next moement she dashed out of the room and cried so loud, i havent even lay my finger on her! then mil came out and carried her!
 
RR
im the slow one compared to hubby. he can chop chop complete his task while im the kind who will take my own sweet time.

astro
i also have polycystic ovaries, thats why i menstruate less frequent than normal women. i doubt its the reason why the oct mtb has to go for hormone jabs. it just happened tat some ladies do not have enough progesterone to support.
 
pink,
just to share what I would have done if EJ did what Leia just did.

I wouldn't have shouted at him at all. Not even angry.. maybe shock, but I won't scold him. I wouldn't snatch the thing away either. I will take it away, but not "snatch". I will tell him very sternly that it is wrong to do that. And when I talk to him, i always say "look at my eyes.. I know you understand what I am saying".. whenever I do that, I feel that EJ is actually scared of me. Dunno whether is it I look very scary when I do that!

Honestly that's what I would have done. Perhaps you can try this method and see if it works for you? but must be consistent.. ie.. so far everytime when EJ did something like that, I have always done this. I don't shout/whack. However, that is only for first-time offence. If he repeats again, then that is a different story. That would warrant punishment and harsher scolding. Punishment for now is only naughty corner.

anyway, just sharing what I do. if not suitable for you, then ignore me.
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YY,

Yar lor, I also PCOS and then no MS but gynae never give me jabs wor. I was only given progesterone pills but he say he give to every pregnant women to support the pregnacy regardless, it is just SOP for him.
 
Astro,
actually hor, i think EJ will become "Terrible Adolescence"! cos that's what happened to me! wahahahahah... my mum said I have always been a good girl, until i reach my teens then i became terrible.. oh oh.. think EJ will be like me?!
 
YY,

I dun think the parents are particularly proud of him... sometimes I thought he quite poor thing when his parents turn him down when he asked to have a book read to him. His younger brother is more notti and not as matured but he seemed to be getting more love cuz he is cuter and livier. I think he himself realised it and say that his brother is cute because he smiles alot and is generally happy. There was one point of time where he is afraid to go out with my MIL because he is scared that his family will go back without him (i.e. dump him in Singapore). Too matured liao, until a bit melancholy, like an old soul trapped in a young body.
 
pnk/mejo:ya.. the mtb said coz she is PCOS.. so she apprecaites the effort and caution that the gynae is going thru. despite what all the rest telling her to change gynae :p

Autum: ha.. then u will understand ur son more liao! coz u been there, done that! :p

mejo: hmm. interesting.. too obedient also cannot..:p
 
autum
i tried before. she wouldnt even be bothered to look at me, at most a few seconds and she will turn to do other things. i shouted cos i so pissed off with her, changed bed sheet immediately. she refused to sleep with me after i shouted at her, she said "pa pa" so i had to pacify her to sleep...
 
mejo,
aiyo. i feel sad for your little nephew to hear that.

pink,
u know what i do if EJ doesn't look at me? I physically hold his face to look at me in the eyes. I think that is the scary part! :p
 
Astro,
sometimes i worry whether I am intimidating my own son when I make him look me in the eyes.

the article.. yeah, i was smiling when I saw the 'First adolescence'.. haha..
 
mejo: that article that autum shared. talks about what we said.. parents amplifying the T2.. andparents helping the kids to nagivate the T2.. but not caused by parents.. the last line..
 
mejo, cheese potato salad sounds GOOD! but VERY sinful heehee..

kai, yes i like the bread too, last time the bread was softer, even nicer.. i dun like those hard crispy sliced garlic bread..

kerene, will keep a look out for you! if u see me, say hi ok!

wah.. u guys are very academic.. read until i blur..
 
astro
i feel tat teng takes after his dad in terms of personality. he will be a patient nice man next time.

autum
i did that before. she cried like mad.
i find tat some kids really need smacking before they learn, i should fall into this category.
 
autum: i believe.. that the mother or father. is given to 'match' the disposition of the child. i always cite titu as an eg.. seth has a very boisterous character.. yet coz titu is SO tyrannic (siams titu).. seth is properly discplined.. and his energy properly managed .. and aptly directed in the proper channel..
whereeas for me.. i cannot handle seth. coz i am afarid to break the harmony.. as it is with my mother lor. so teng has to be meek.. as compared to seth.. if u get what i mean..
so for ur case.. EJ will 'suit' ur temperment..

ur article u cited. kids is the oaktree in the acorn. and the parents will help to nagivate the preocess for the kid. i find that very meaningfully...
 
oh yes mummies, anyone interested in Disney on Ice on this coming Fri 13/3 1030am?? my fren has 1 adult tic and 1 child tic to sell.

anyone has any gd japanese buffet to recommend (except sakura and kuishin bo)?? budget ard $40/pax..
 
pink: hmm does that mean that teng will be BORING also?! oh no.. please let him have some of my spunk mah! :p:p

edde: yahor.. i was drooling at cheese potato when mejo mentioned it.but haiz. i got indigestion.. siam lah
yalor. academic. hahahah.. :p u go and google a few articles in chinese.. then i get headaches liao :p
 
Astro,
I just hope EJ doesn't get intimidated by me such that he becomes timid. u know what i mean.. my hubby said that it appears that EJ will be the kind who will get bullied. then his teachers in school tells me that EJ always give way to others.. as in, he will let them play the toys etc. So I feel there is a very fine line between giving way and being weak. I suppose I am worrying too much now..

the article, something that strikes me is the part when the author said, even as an adult, we feel conflicted when we do things that disagree with our parents.. so we can't expect our toddler not to feel the turmoil. I think that part is insightful. it tells us that when our toddlers scream/cry, it's because they feel the real turmoil, and not just being naughty.
 


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