2006/2007-Twins/Triplets MTBs

[dorayaki]

<font color="0000ff">Fi</font>
Glad both D&amp;Y back to their normal routine. G&amp;C did the same lately. About a month back. They'd wake up at 2-3am and demand to play or watch DVD! But only lasted a week, I think. I concluded later on that this is due to their nap hours. Not that they are napping to much. Its just them going thru a phase where their nap time is taking a shift from morning to noon. Once we started "helping" them to nap around noon by bringing them for walks, hence dalaying their nap time till noon, they were OK and hardly wake up at night now. Think its a phase all tots go through.

 

[dorayaki]

<font color="0000ff">mooch</font>
For G&amp;C, they didn't quite like water initially. But when it became a routine, eg. giving water right after a meal (regardless they actually drink it or not), and offering them water after playing outdoor (and I'll be drinking from my own cup at the same time), they kind of just started drinking it, perhaps they really need to quench their thirst. Took a while, but it worked. Then now they ask for it whenever they want a drink.

And you know lah. Sippy cups also didn't work for G&amp;C. Even till now, they simply refuse all the different brands of sippy cups given. But they like to drink from straws. It started with my dad offering them drinks from foodcout, coffeeshops and even MacDonalds that comes with a straw. They didn't know how to suck initially but they enjoy trying and pretending to drink like everyone else. Then in about 2 weeks, they were both drinking from straws. It happened naturally. At home, Chloe will happily drink from her straw cup whereas Gracia still prefers her bottle which is quite a headache at times cos occasionally Chloe will demand for her bottle when she sees Gracia using it. @#$%^&amp;!!!

As for the type of fluid, both G&amp;C have their own preference. They don't quite like juices, except watermelon juice. And they absolutely hated carbonated/fizzy drinks which is a blessing. But they enjoy barley drink, honey lemon drink, ice lemon tea, jasmine green tea. Perhaps its their love for the "M" (what they'd call MacDonalds) lah.

 

[rosa]

hi mommies,
hope you gals enjoyed mother's day yesterday.. keke.. it's my first one with Alonzo and Alena and come to think of it, its esp. significant for me, after such a long wait to be a mummy, and somemore mummy to twins!! haha...

btw, i need some advice here. I am currently staying at my mil's place and increasingly, differences are surfacing in our approach of handling them. They are now 5.5 months and will be starting porridge soon, at 6 months. At the moment, they are on one meal of cereals. That's fine so far, just that there was a couple of times earlier that she mix the cereals in their milk. After I told her that doc advised against it, she stopped.

Just now, I saw her feeding my girl from her porridge! I was appalled!! Firstly, this is soooooo unhygenic and secondly, the porridge is not plain porridge and there's like salt in there, i am sure!! That was what she cooked for my nephew earlier before he went to school. I immediately went over and said that she cannot take salt and sugar at this age. And she actually told me that "No salt and sugar la, just the liquid from the porridge." *faintz* Imagine that she is doing this when i am at home, i really cannot imagine what she is feeding them when i am not at home. btw, i am working full-time, just that every Monday, I work from home.

I am seriously contemplating moving back to my place and get my parents over to watch over them instead. Although their health is not as good, I believe they can handle with the maid's help. Just let the maid do the heavy stuff lor.

The problem I have now is how to put it to her diplomatically. of course, i'll need to first get support from my hubby which might not be easy either... sigh!

any mummies here have similar experience to share?

 

[dorayaki]

Hi <font color="0000ff">Audrey</font>
Welcome!

<font color="0000ff">best twins</font>
It was my maid's off day yesterday, so I celebrated Mother's Day as a maid as well. Hahaha... Just kidding. My day wasn't too bad as well. My dad brought me &amp; my HB lunch. He then brought Chloe out for play while Gracia took her nap. When he returned 2 hours later, Gracia was up and Chloe was tired, so I put Chloe to bed while grandpa took Gracia out for play. So I did get a break from noon till about 4.30pm which was very relaxing for a SAHM. Hee... I think my dad deserves the mother's day cake more than I do!!! Kekeke...

A pix of my silly girls during their morning walk on mother's day (L-Chloe, R-Gracia).

 

[chewcj]

Happy Mothers Day to all!!

My maid was off yesterday too. My hubby not used to their nonsence, had a headache at the end of the day. One fantastic thing is that: Recently, my 16.5mths gals WANT to feed themselves using the spoon. To save ourselves the massive clean up after meal, we brought them to the kopitiam opposite for lunch. They had chicken rice with yong tau foo soup. My hubby's plate of chicken, tau kwa n egg yolk were almost all eaten up by the 2 gals.. haaa. He had to buy another 2 char siew bao to fill up. Ehh... ended up only 1.5 pau got into his own tummy.

Dorayaki,
Thanks. Think I can forget abt putting them into dreambag, they will feel so constricted inside. Like yours, they are used to sleeping with a thin blanket almost like those baby napkins.

Fi,
Glad your kids are back to normal sch.

Mooch,
You can let them getting used to the straw by letting them to drink the other way. Press and release your finger at one end to let the water flow into her mouth. My gals learnt it this way n slowly they will suck from it too.

 

[arielyn]

This is so uncanny! Ytd was my maid's off day too!

We went took the twins to ECP, tog. with my parents, for breakfast at MacDonald's. They both liked the new MacGriddles!

After that, we went home, where it was cooking and more cooking for me till 3pm (cooked the kids' lunch of rice and soup, then curry chicken for hubby and my lunch, followed by sweet potato soup). TIRED!!! Can't believe that I'm preggers and still slogging away...like a maid! HUbby entertained the kids in the hall while I slaved away in the kitchen. Not an easy job entertaining the kids, I concede, maybe as tough as my cooking inside the kitchen! Finally managed to get the kids to sleep at 330, which was when I finally also got to catch my forty winks! FINALLY!

 

[rosa]

dorayaki, arielyn, chewcj,

are your maids indo or philippines? my is indo and no off-days lei... we compensate her with $ though..

 

[lyricist]

happy mommies day all!

didn't feel all that celebratory yesterday really. my entire family came over for swimming and dinner (no, i didn't cook for them, we tar pau-ed). but i did cook dinner for the kids (6 in all), so i spent most of the evening stuck in the kitchen glumly preparing food while my nephews and my twins tore my place apart (guess who has to clear up?). not very happy mothers' day leh.

j&amp;smum
haha, barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen.. talk abt classic stereotype. ;P

dorayaki
G&amp;C at the starting line? and chloe testing wind direction hah? kekeke

dodo
not to get you down, but most of my problems with my MIL revolved around what to feed my kids. i had the same issues with you - she likes to add seasoning (salt, soya sauce, etc) into their porridge. and it gets worse... she likes telling me what to do, what to feed them. nothing i did seemed right. i was either feeding them too much 'nourishing' food (beef, cod liver oil, etc), overfeeding them, shouldn't add chopped veggies into their porridge, added in too many ingredients, it was endless. i was so disheartened and irritated by her, even though i tried really really hard not to say anything.

in the end, the twins' diet is what we fell out over as well. so i chose to take over everything and do childcare solo (told my MIL she needn't help out any more). but i guess that that's not really an option for you.

 

[rosa]

hi lyricist,

sigh.. ye.. she did tell me about some special soya sauce that she put in for her other grand children that's very nice...

*faintz* anyway, i am not gonna let her put such seasoning for my kids!!

btw, how long do u ladies avoid sugar and salt for your kids?

 

[wiky]

Dorayaki, A+C, J&amp;S,
my maid was off yesterday too!! Usually she's off after the 20th cos her pay day is on 20th. She requested for earlier off day this month. Beginning to think whether there's some gathering somewhere.

J&amp;S,
we brought the kids to cycle yesterday at ECP too but we were at Burger King cos Macdonald was flooded.

 

[wiky]

I had a great Mother's Day yesterday but hubby commented that it was more like a Children's Day. hehe.

See my boy was so tired till he fell asleep while I cycled.

Water area at Vivo

Dinner at Marche

 

[tansy]

wah, all of u so happening on mother's day.

my twins too young to celebrate...so juz a normal day 4 me.

dodo, though now i am SAHM for another 6 months, my MIL assumes she will be the one taking care of the twins when i return to work as she just lives next block to us. However like u say, there are too many different issues, diff cooking styles, and hygiene issues, i have dicussed with hubby and agreed that we will bring the kids over to my parents' home when the time comes. initially felt v bad for planning to do this, but like what my fren asked me, do u want to sacrifice ur kids' health cos of trying to be nice to your in laws. Have not thought of how to tell my MIL yet, very afraid she will be angry, or even cry in front of us. Imagine, when we got married and balloted for a flat nearer to my mum's place (just for fun, anyway it is oni $10), she saw the letter about the balloting and broke down and cried and said her son doesn't want her liow... *pengz* i hope i dun become like that when i become a MIL myself.

 

[fi_hozali]

Evening mummies!!! Wah soo much talk of mothers day.. Hope everyone enjoyed themselves... Let's look forward to a looonggggggg weekend ahead..

Audrey- welcome... Wait for ur scan n do tell us the good news.....

 

[humble]

dorayaki,
mommy not in mother's day photo ah? hehe....Hey grandparents day will be around the corner grandpa definitely deserves something special

A+Cmum,
How wonderful that your kids are using spoon now, I cant wait for the day.......my boys are now 15 months, they'll try the spoon for a while and then it flies off the room, then feed themselves a bit and start throwing food all over the house, I m still feeding them most of the food

J&amp;Smum,
Poor U, If i were u, guess i wouldnt lift a thing keke......just kiddin.....see thats what makes us great mothers.


lyricist,
sorry that u didnt feel the celebration, I had a terrible mothers day last year so didnt care much this time.

Irin,
your mothers day celebration sounds great!

 

[humble]

Dodo,
I better dont get started on the mil thingy........

I cant share with you the full details as this is a public forum, but I'll tell u if I can re-do everything since pregnancy, I'll never include my mil in helping me out during and after pregnancy, she almost drove me into depression.

My view is that most of us (not me, cos i cant stand both their styles) are happy with our own parents caring for the kids than the mil so do what makes u comfortable and will give u peace while at work.

 

[dorayaki]

<font color="0000ff">dodo</font>
My maid is Filipina, so she gets a Sunday off every month. And I think she needs one too cos I think all caregivers need some respite to remain sane. Kekeke...

<font color="0000ff">lyricist</font>
Its not about the starting line. They were actually pointing to the "M" on the floor, then Chloe spotted an Apache in the sky.

And they like the "M" alphabet NOT becos it stands for Mommy. Its becos it starts words like MacDonalds and Milk. @#$%^%^&amp;!!!

<font color="0000ff">Irin</font>
You guys had great fun at the ECP huh! Wish we were there!

 

[rosa]

thanks all for sharing... yes, definitely, most of us are more comfortable with our own mummies; its easier to talk, discuss issues etc and also to get them to be aligned to our style. i really have to see how to work this out properly! it's not gonna be easy i am sure! but first, i need to make sure my parents are willing to help me out first!! meanwhile, just need to "ren" lor and constantly remind remind remind...

 

[ondine]

Hi, speaking of maids,
how do you mummies with maids deal with the kids preferring them to you? My daughter shows preference to my maid over me and try as I may, I still feel hurt.

How?

 

[tansy]

ondine, i try to think this way that since there is a bond between the kids and maid, the maid loves them and will treat them well. anyway, the maid wun be here for long right? at most a few yrs? ultimately they will know who their mummy is.

J&amp;S, heard u bought the magmag cup, is it good? did u try all the 3 tops or just the one with straws?

dorayaki, i agree with u that the caregivers need abit of rest to keep sane. My filipino maid chose not to have any off day so that she gets a higher pay, but i do let her go to the heartland mall to jalan jalan once a week for 1/2 to 1 hour when my inlaws are here to help, so she can take a break. otherwise will go crazy looking after the twins one.

 

[msh]

ondine, i have the same problem.... esp at sleep time. i just let them carry lor... anyway they getting heavier.... hehehe.

and i share dawn's views that its good the kids like the maid, cos that shows the maid loves them.

but bear in mind, no matter how much they love the kids, they'd not love them like how we, the mommy, love them.... and the kids know that.

 

[chewcj]

Mesh, Dawn, Ondine

Not to worry. I used to share your concerns too but everyone told me the children will know who is Mummy in time to come. This is absolutely true! One of my twin who preferred my maid, sometimes rejects my maid and cries for me. This happens in public places too. Then have no choice but to show off my arm muscles and carry both tog to others' amazement. haaa.. cannot really carry both for long too lah, too heavy. Then Daddy or maid has to persuade n pull one away.

Dawn,
Re: Mag Mag
My gals used the spout and straw ones only.

Irin,
Looks fun at the ECP. Your kids and u must be exhausted after the entire day, bringing them ard Spore to play.

My maid attended the Filipino service at my church and they had a Mother's day celebration. Not quite understood what she said but think they went ECP in the afternn, had free lunch and early dinner, all Pinoy food and many Filipinos were there too. A bus was catered to bring them to Lucky Plaza after the ECP outing ended. ANyone's maid told the same story for Mother's day?

Dodo,
This is only the 4th time my Filipino maid took an off-day since my babies arrived almost 17 mths ago. When she doesnt have an off day in a mth, we will compensate her with $$ too. When off, she'll come home for a certain time to help in the children's dinner and bed time.

 

[wiky]

A+Cmum,
I didn't ask her where she go. The reason she gave was her mum needs $$ urgently for medical treatment so she needs to go send $$. I gave her the benefit of doubt lah. Which church do you go to? She goes to a church at Queen's street too. We'll always send her there on her off day cos my ILs stay near there.

ondine,
I had the same experience with my boy preferring my maid to me. He sleeps with her and he'll always run to her when he's sleepy, hungry &amp; etc ... I was feeling so upset about it too. Then there was once we even had a talk with the maid regarding his disciplinary issues (ya, she spoils him) and after that things got better. Now that he outgrew the separation anxiety stage, it seems that he knows who's the mummy liao. So hubby was telling me that I over-reacted that time.
Like what the other mummies mentioned, we rather have a maid that spoils the kids and they like her than a maid that ill-treats them.

 

[ondine]

Hmmm, I guess you're all right that they are attached to her because she loves them and is good for them. But I guess, as a mummy, it's very hard to face rejection. I guess there's also additional guilt because I work, so part of the day I'm out of the house and sometimes, in the evening, my husband wants to do stuff. I also feel guilty that I spend so much time trying to get my girl used to me, I take my sweet son for granted.

Dawn, I just bought the Magmag cup for my son. The both of them use the straw cuos but Little Destructo Boy has broken the cover off his Tollyjoy one so I bought the Mag Mag so that I can replace it if he breaks it again.

 

[msh]

a+cmum. that's reassuring.... wah... i'd like to see how u carry 2 at one time....

talking abt sippy cups, my kids are using the soft spout now. is it true it is not good for their teeth? how to keep the straw in straw sippy clean

my son is down with false measles... after days of fever, he has now broken out with rashes..... dr say this will last 5 days..... dr also said this is infectious.... is it true? if so, i'm expecting my other 2 to show signs of fever soon.

 

[wiky]

ondine,
I'm guilty for the same thing too. I tried so hard to "please" my son so that he'll take to me better. And I'm tend to be stricter with my poor gal cos I know no matter what she'll stick to me like glue.

 

[ondine]

Mesh,
I use a tiny bottle brush to keep the straw clean. The spout is also quite hard to maintain. My Avent ones got so mouldy it was gross!

Irin,
It's really hard trying to split our attention. And my friends with one just tell me that I have to try harder. Get a bit annoyed sometimes because having one and having two are so different.

 

[dorayaki]

Hi <font color="0000ff">mummies</font>

I guess all of us who have a maid face more or less the same dilemma. If our kids wants them more than us, we feel rejected. Otherwise, we fear for our kids' safety if they reject the maid. Then our hearts tend to tilt a little towards the one who is not as close to us in our effort to win him/her over. Hee... But I wonder what happen to those who have triplets or more???!!! Kekeke...

But like what most mommies here can testify, its a passing phase. At 19 months, I can't tell which of my daughters' closer to me cos there are times they both want me and vice versa. The only time I'd feel frustrated its when they both reject me in public. hahaha... Its my pride lah! Otherwise, if I'm with my family or at home, I couldn't be bothered. Hahaha... Having said that, I do find myself paying more attention to my elder twin who's closer to my maid. She'd automatically go to her when she's hungry or sleepy whereas the younger one will cling to me. So I guess I'm guilty in that sense too.

<font color="0000ff">dawn</font>
Yah, I ask my maid to run errands at times even though I could do it myself. I find her enjoying those little breaks too. And so far she's quite sensible. She never take those little breaks for granted and usually come back as fast as she could, although sometimes she'll confessed she spent time chatting with another maid whom she bumped into.

<font color="0000ff">mesh</font>
You're absolutely right! No one will be bothered about (or even notice) those little things which concern our little ones more than we do. Though we may over-react at times, its all due to our love for them.

<font color="0000ff">ondine</font>
Please ignore those friends. I always have to hold back remarks like "Wait till you have twins then tell me about it!" OR "How about you try babysitting my twins for a weekend?" But lately, I find myself actually vocalising these remarks to "concerned" people when they get on my nerves!!! Kekeke...

Its easy to pass comments or even give advice but its the implementation that's the most challenging. Not to forget every child is different and the environment is also different when you have 2 kids of the same age with the same needs/development. If your friend cannot identify with you and cannot even sympathise, then its better save your breathe and vent those frustrations in this forum or your blog. Hee!

 

[ondine]

Dorayaki,
Thanks for all the consolation! My husband thinks I'm silly to be upset. He says right now, we can't stimulate them and offer them what they need intellectually and stuff. I think, as mummies, we have a lot of guilt as well. We can make ourselves feel guilty about everything!

And I have to leave the twins and travel at the end of this month for 10 days and I was moaning about how when we come back, there'll be a lot of damage control to do! And I can't not go!

I sometimes think the emotional part of being a mom is more difficult than the physical bit even though the latter's more exhausting and draining!

 

[tansy]

dorayaki,

yah, she loves those errands i send her out. good for them to relax for a while lah.


A+Cmum, wow how u carry both? must be super strong. even now at 3 month plus, i can't carry both of them together !

re: Sippy cups
so is it recommended to buy or not? which brand is better?

which month do u all start ur kids with this sippy cups?

re: equal attention
*sigh* since the 1st day i very disturbed that i can't give them "equal" attention. when i am smiling/playing/cooing to one, i will think of the other "deprived" one. glad that it is normal for mum with twins and triplets. i also agree that pple with singleton v difficult to understand what we going thro.....

 

[fi_hozali]

afternoon mummies!!

re maids: i do agree tht we tend to feel hurt if our kids prefer them to us, but ultimately, as long as they are well treated its fine.. though it hurts inside..

re time away frm kids: my maid doesnt have day offs, bt i will bring kids out by myself so she can have some peace n quiet at hm.. N when my kids are sleeping, i do take advantage by gng out to breathe.. even if its juz to grab a cuppa..

re equal attentn: lets just put it tht even in school, the kids will not get equal attentn frm the teachers. At least our kids will learn to share our attentn btw them.. my crazy opinion oni...

Dawn- i could nvr carry them togethr when they were younger bt when they are toddlers like now, its easier.. Juz heavier........

Sippy cups-my monsters are on the munchkins straw bottle n its gd.. It has been dropped many times and still no spills. hardy ting..

 

[ondine]

I bring my maid out when I take the twins out so that she can get some air. I let her go off ranging from one to two sundays a month and when she's off, the kids' schedules are totally havoc. But I think she needs the time out as much as we do.

Because I work, I can't let her go 'run' errands away from the kids. When I get her to run errands, she has to bring one of the kids with her as well.

It really is tough.

 

[avalyn]

ondine/Fi Hozali/other moms
does your maid take care of the twins alone? i am expecting twins in sept, but not sure if i need extra help...have no inlaws/parents to help out.

 

[humble]

hi all,
Almost all of us have this issue of "equal attention" and "bonding thing". For me I dont have this problem with the maids as all my maids were temp or part time. My boys always reject the maids. My first one is very close to me and grabs every opportunity to be with me, but my second one is fine with everyone and a little closer to my mom, even with my own mom i feel low at times, i used to be so upset when it was my mil during their initial months.

dorayAKi,
i LOVE your suggestions for remarks, yes its impossible for people to understand what it is like to have twins, my mil constantly passes me advices given by her friends and relatives on how to bring up kids and i hate it, I used to listen to her nonsense initially now i have also started asking her questions like "does your friend have twins" " Oh she has twins is it" Does she know anyone else who has twins" etc, now the number advices has gone down relatively but not completely........so i got to keep passing remarks

 

[lyricist]

re. kids bonding with mom or maids
thought i'd give a diff perspective since i don't hv a maid and am most definitely my twins' preferred person, it's not all hunky-dory for me either. not when they both want you at the same time and yr lap is not big enough for two. it usu starts when one sees me cuddling the other and decides to come claim his/her share. so instead of a lovefest, what you get is an all-out war for my affections, which usu involves them kicking, punching, biting and pulling each other's hair. end result is two howling, bruised babies and a very stressed (and sometimes bruised!) mom. not something a mom of a singleton can understand since for them it's all rosy one-to-one time. for us moms of twins/triplets, it becomes a duel to the death for possession of mommy.

another thing is that becos they both want only mommy, i get hardly any time or space to myself. my hubby always rely on the easy excuse that neither wants him becos they both want me. hence he gets to do his own thing and not get bothered, and i am allowed little respite to rest and recoup. you've no idea how frustrated and resentful i get. sometimes i just need time to be alone.

i'm not feeling sorry for myself, just to point out that there is also a downside when you ARE their fav person. that said, i won't want it any other way. i'd much rather be frazzled and starved for alone time than be pushed away. so i do sympathise with those whose kids prefer someone else to them. i'd be heartbroken too if my babies reject me in favour of the helper.

 

[ondine]

Ava,
I think it's quite difficult for anyone person to look after twins. Lyricist does it and I'm sure I speak for everyone when I say we are ALL in awe of her. You need at least, you and another person to help, especially in the early months.

My rule was, I welcomed anyone to help as long as I could lay the rules. It doesn't happen sometimes, but generally it's Mummy's way or the highway.

 

[wiky]

Ava,
you are a FTWM? I had my MIL over to help for the 1st 2 months. And after that chaotic period, I do leave my maid to take care of them alone sometimes when I'm out to work. But normally I'll cook and help to feed and bath them before I go out. If you are a FTWM, then probably you'll need another pair of hands to help.

 

[wiky]

re: unnecessary comments/remarks about taking care of twins

I have this experience with almost all my colleagues who are mummies. Some of them had 2, 3 or even 4 kids &amp; thought that they would be EXPERIENCED enough to "teach" me. But like what Fi &amp; I always tell each other, no one will ever understand our situation other than a twins/triplet mummy. So we'll just shut ourselves off from these remarks/comments. Nothing worth listening to ...

 

[tansy]

Ava, it will be good to have an extra pair of hands to help during the first few months.

how to shut off those remarks? i can oni just smile politely.

 

[humble]

irin,
ya i agree its not worth listeniing to people who are not in our shoes but some simply cant be shut until we tell them off indirectly.

 

[arielyn]

Hi Babes!

<font color="ff0000">Irin</font>, we had actually wanted to go to BK (love the croissant sausage) but then I had wanted my parents to try the new MacGriddles so off to Mac's we went

<font color="119911">dawn</font>, I've tried both the spout and the straw ones. It takes some getting used to, esp. the straw one, but once they take to it, they never stop drinking water, esp. my DD

Ava, it's best if you could get someone to supervise the maid. I hope I'm not offending anyone by saying this, but somehow, out of 10 maids, 9 can't be trusted. If u really really have absolutely no one to help supervise, suggest that u install cameras at home to monitor her. Ever since we've installed the cameras, we feel more assured tho' of course, we still appreciate my dad helping to watch over stuff at home.

<font color="0000ff">Dodo</font>, my maid's Indo. When she first started out, it was out to her that there wouldbe no 'off' days so we compendate her with $. All was fine, until she started getting a HP, sneaking out of the house a few times and all (long long story. but she has a sis and many frens here to lead her astray), and before we knew it, it was almost 1 yr into her contract and she started demanding for an 'off' day once a month, and willing to forgo her extra $20. After a long discussion with the agency, we decided to concede and like what Dorayaki said, everyone needs a respite. Moreover, the agency did say that if she ever gets pregnant, all we need to do is to swiftly send her back w/o forfeiting our deposit. ANywayz, I've since demanded that she hands over her HP to me every morning (I return it to her at night) while she gets to keep it whole day over the weekends. Once in a while, she lets slip and forgets to delete her msgs, so from whatever I manage to salvage, I hv been piecing tog. that she has a bf here and many frens made here there and everywhere (u won't believe the no. of frens she has made at Growing Up Gifted; so many maids there ). Sigh! Long long story, but we're still keeping her cos' she loves the kids very much and does things very fast and I can't reply on my parents cos' they are of no help at all, not hvaing taken care of me when I was a baby (I was in the care of nannies). Anywayz, we're still considering very hard whether to renew her contract, being mindful that she may turn more demanding due to familiarity. But then, I'm also worried that the next maid may be worse and some more, my #3 is arriving by end-Sep.... Sorry, if I had digressed a tad too much

<font color="ff6000">ondine</font>, oh yes, tell me abt it! My DS thinks she's his MOTHER!! He likes to run to her and literaaly thorws himself at her, buries his head into her chest or tummy!!! And he doesn't like to let her out of his sight. SOmetimes, he can just wait outside the bathroom or toilet till she comes out. And it gets me so mad. LAst evening, he was esp. cranky and didn't even want to let her go bathe, He kept howling away until she came out and then followed her into the kitchen. I was so mad at him, that I yelled at my maid for spoiling him and told my hubby to tell her off, and warn her not to ever kiss or cuddle him. To my DS, I couldn't contain my frustration, that I actually threw a rubber ducky at him, right smack on his face!!! Didn't care that he howled some more. My hormones have been raging eversince I got preggers and little things get me very very upset and raving mad, and my DS throwing himself at her ranks high on the list of those things.

 

[arielyn]

Sigh, I've also had a fren telling me that her sis is one super woman who can manage 2 wo a maid (elder one goes childcare while the younger one is taken care of by the nanny), having to do housework and taking care of them full-time over the weekends. DUH!!! But it's a different story when u have both kids of the same age, who clamour for the same things, who snatch and humtum each other over the same toy or attempt to climb up the couch or bed tog. I think many pple don't realise that it's just tougher handling multiples of the same age. Dunno how to put it in words, but these pple who speak wo thinking really should try out our roles....

 

[mooch]

sorry mommies haven't written lately.. been so busy with their 1 yr party and all...

straw
cayley finally can suck the straw already!

thanks for all your tips! austin still not wanting to tho.. i jus everyday let him use his mag mag cup and he plays with it more than even try to suck it! so i would use spoon to feed him water first, then let him play.. but he still not wanting to drink water and blows everything out.. oh well, hope its a phase..

sippy cup,
the only sippy spout thing tat they used was the mag mag, and austin manage to bite it off. the hard spouts they didn't know how to use.. so i give up, now i go straight to trying straw or nothing at all.

mothers day
wah.. seems like everyone had a good mothers day!

i kinda did too. tho was tired out by end of the day! went to sentosa with my tots, maid and hubby.. had a good time!

actually i thot i was going to get a day off, but no leh

anyways, glad i spent the day being a mom tho, more meaningful too!

audrey,
gyne told me after 2nd scan that i have 2 eggs.. and then double confirm with beta blood test?

dodo / MIL
i think most of us here have problems with MIL. i also had my share of it, even tho i dun stay with her. even my mom also sometimes i cannot tahan.. from food, to dress, to going out, to everything you can think of lah, also got something to say. so my deal now is as much as i feel the kids should have their share of doting grandparents often, i handle the kids myself, and my rules mostly. grandmas jus see them for meals or weekends type and whenever, but caregiving and decision making, i do the final say.. so less '2 cents worth' type of nagging/talk/watever you call it.

Maids
i have indo maid, and i think indo maids have no contracted day offs right? for me, i jus give when either she ask for it, or if i think she has been too tired lah. and weekends hubby and i bring them out ourselves sometimes, so she got some peace and also time away from kids to breathe..

but as for the kids preference to maid, i try to be neutral most times.. none of them sleep with her, and sometimes i handle cayley, and other days, i handle austin. i have been badly wanting to be more independant and not bring her out with me, but i know its not possible right now cos austin hates sitting in the car, and the stroller. so its hard to do it alone. i salute you fi!

but overall, i dun think i will be comfortable with the maid being overly close to the baby (like kissing them and all) but play with them, and relatively close to them, i am ok. i tell myself rather she has feelings for them and treat them well, than to treat it like a job and may abuse them.

'experienced' comments
i have learnt not to listen to mommies who feels they have all the 'power' in the world to give me their 2 cents worth, and their thots on raising kids cos they have had 2 or 3 or more. cos its jus not the same with twins! and somehow i dun understand why they dun get it! its jus not the same with twins! so now i only read books to enhance myself, and try to listen to experiences of mommies of twins / multiples. its more benefitting. thats why sometimes i dread being with my mom or mil, or even the market for too long! cos i have to listen to all their 'talk'! i know sometimes i am mean.. and our mommies/mil wants to jus be helpful, but it really doesn't help.

sigh.. i sometimes jus hope the grannies jus play doting grannies and tahts it. thats why i love this thread

all the mommies here soooo helpful!

 

[wiky]

J&amp;Smum,
I understand how you feel cos my son does exactly the same thing as yours! Will howled outside the bathroom till she's done, stand outside the kitchen and watch her do things &amp; etc ... I got so hopping mad that I told her off once that he's behaving like that all cos she spoilt him. It hurts especially after I put aside time to bring him out alone, leaving my poor gal at home and the moment we are back home, he sticks to her like superglue again. Wonder if they'll ever know who's the mummy.

 

[fi_hozali]

Morning mummies...

J&amp;Smum- I too understand hw you feel.. Cheer up. N the pergnancy hormones is getting to you.. I ever blow up at my helper once, and then she told me tht when she goes hm after the contract, my kids will know who is mum.. her logic might be a little strange, but i tink she means tht she is nt a permanaent fixture in their lives.. Like Lyricist say, its better than having both kids fight for your attentn and you.. (sorry Lyricist, mean no harm)

Mooch- dont salute me, i feel like a very old and tired octopus at the end of the day......

 

[jlyn]

Fi, cant help smiling at ur 'old and tired octopus'.. haha.

Mummies, what Fi has mentioned is very very true. No doubt that we will feel the 'pain' when our kids choose the maid over us. But imagine, if they refuse the maid and stick to you the whole day.. esp after a hard day at work.. as a FTWM, I am quite glad that my maid can manage my boys (with the help of my mum). As our kids grow up, they will know 'who's the boss'. Most importantly, the maid will go one day. Kids being kids, they probably not remember her a day or a week later. So mummies, let's not be too hard on ourselves.

 

[lefty]

Hi hi,

The topic about maids couldn't come at a better time. My triplets are 10 weeks old now, and I have raised my white flag and getting a maid to help me out - will be here real soon. Have been doing my circus act taking care of them myself... crazy! My body aches at places where I never knew can ache!

So how do you start off with having a maid in the house? How do you set boundries about infantcare? What time do they start and what time do they go to bed? And do they help out when the babes cry at night?

Re: comments
I remembered when my DH started working leaving me to manage all 3 by myself...I was frazzled, tired but think of it as a challenge. But it was soooooo hard, and when I told my mum about it I almost go into depression cos she replied " Aiyah....taking care of 1 kid and 3 kids the same..it's all difficult at first" I want to cry. I hated her for a week - couldn't hate her longer cos she brings me food everyday hahaahahaa!!! My evil heart sometimes wish that my babes will cry all at the same time when she's here so that she knows what she is talking about and see what I have to face everyday.

 

[avalyn]

Thanks for all your answers and feedback...yes, I am a FTWM and man, am already so tired...dunno what it'll be like with the twins here, but can't wait to see them in Aug/sept

My elder son is turning 4, so he's in full day child care (even with a maid around, I'd like him to have more educational/mental stimulation and better social setting). My maid is quite good so far, she's quite mature and has kids of her own...but worried she can't tahan 2 babies at same time...Lyricist...*hats off man!*

Anyone knows a good way to look for day nannies that come to your place? Any agencies to recommend etc?

Lefthander
Maids: You need to determine what works best for your "style" of running the household and u need to know yourself - are u easy going or quite the control freak? We got our first and current maid only a year ago, after holding out for years after having my first. We set basic criteria like wake up 6+am, sleep after 10pm. How to put my son to bed if we are out (she used to sit there till he fell asleep which we never do). cleaning schedule, like: clean bathrooms 2x weekly, car 2 x weekly, basic gardening skills, etc.

it helps she is an experienced maid and has worked in SG before. I'd not recommend a brand new one if you are a hands off type person like me or if you have no time/inclination/patience to train, cos they'll drive you mad. I'd also recommend a slightly older maid...altho some people tried persuading me to get a brand new one for my first maid, i am glad i didnt (so far lah). My maid is Filipina, 39 yrs old.

As for caring for babies, I'm determined to try to take care of my twins myself at night when they cry, but i think will rope in her help on bad/tiring days...I don't want her to sleep in same room as them/my son. (the bonding issue again lah)

Oh, another thing...anyone here follows Gina Ford's methods for twins? I hope it helps cos am banking on that for a glimpse of sanity in the first few months!!!

 

[tansy]

lefty, aiyoh, i also got from my MIL. When she came to visit them and asked how were they last nite. I told her that they were cranky last nite and cried so much that i was up all nite. She told me,"it is like that, being a mum is so tiring one what, now u know.and babies are like that, they will cry." I was also pissed.

Ava, i also read the Gina Ford book for twins, there are good suggestions lah, but can't follow exactly. *sigh* i wish my kids will be what she mentioned in the book, wake up at 645am and take a full feed....these few days, they refuse to take their morning feeds leh, juz 20 to 40ml, start pushing the bottles away liow.

 

[avalyn]

dawn
Hahaa.....what else can our moms and MILs say right? Not like we dont know...but never mind lah, who knows, we might catch ourselves saying the same thing to our daughters/DILs next time

 

[tansy]

oh yah, my maid also 38years old, matured and v patient with the kids....

ava, i know being a mum is not easy and babies will cry....I was not complaining to her when i told her d babies cried whole nite, just feed back to her how they were last nite and maybe it is the tone she used bah....*Sigh* let's not talk about our MIL...