(2006/07) JULY 2006 MTB


blessings.. i also feel like quitting. ytd was only first day at work and i had to work till abt 9pm. haha. when i came home my in laws told me that my elder gal was looking for mummy. made me feel so sad.
 
hong,
hahaha.... that's funny, the "jiao wei".... kekeke.... you should tell her wise is enough, dont have to be a smart alex. aiyah, besides mil, i also have problems with some of hubby's sisters... they see ppl bully one... they see me quiet quiet and dont dare to talk back at them then became more and more daring to "eat" me.... one fine day i'm going to shout back at them arr... yesterday one of hubby's sis carried fionne in a way so dangerous that i cant tahan... felt like telling her off loh... i always tell myself if she goes overboard, i'm not gonna give her face and just tell her off infront of the family... but when the real thing happens, i just dont dare to do it... Hmm... must keep telling myself JUST DO IT liao.... JUST DO IT, JUST DO IT, JUST DO IT.....
 
Gebbera,
Stime we give face to hubby so we "ren" right! But they are overboard then tell them lah.

Actually u can go over and tell her, oh carry like that mah.. suan her lah. hahaha..
 
Hong,
i'm always upset by hubby's side. they tends to bully ppl and take things for granted one... especially his 2nd sister... i really feel like scolding her sometimes for being sarcastic and a bully. she has 1 son and 1 daughter... i just hope the retribution of how she treated me will go to her daughter... wanna remind her what goes around, comes around, so beware!

i think yesterday she purposely carried fionne so "loosely" to test my patient loh... my hubby saw what happened then tell her off but she just ignored and continued her dangerous way of carrying fionne. i was like "REN" very hard inside me. was on the verge of SHOUTING at her at that moment!

is there any ways that i can use to deal with this kinda people? pls teach meeee.....
 
Gebbera,

Ur gugu very bad leh but from wat i read. I feel u are the daring kind. Will dare to speak back.

If i were u i will grab fionne back from her. Look like even if ur hubby tell her off she also bo chap, then u dun have to give her anymore face.

However, to be a gd DIL is also impt. When time to say u shld say. When time to pamper ur IL u shld do it. Even if she doesnt treat u well or get to ur nerve stime.

At least show that u are very "da fang" DIL and "bu ji xiao jie".

Ur SIL jealous of u har. Why she treat u this way? Did u treat u this way last time? I dun understand why some pple just dun know how to live with others in peace.
 
Gebbera,
its really funny how come we all have problems with in-laws. I still have now, but since my no.2, i've learnt to let go and learnt to be more FIRM with my in-laws. In the past, i was the "guai" DIL, everything also ok ok and listen to everything my MIL say. eg: feed my older girl PRAWN when she was 4mth old to "open" her appetite, thus leading to her constant allergies to seafood, allergies, asthma etc.... eg:must insist on carrying the baby as if her own baby when obviously she got no hands and i'm free. eg:always critisizing us, young people this and that.
Now,after 4-5 yrs, i've developed a strong firmness towards my in-laws. I view them as respect but they must first respect me as a parent. Their parenting knowledge in the past was feed child fat fat chubby, thats the best way,everything else ignore. OF course, also cannot ignore their son (aka our husband). BTW, my MIL calls my husband "dear".Grrr...
Even when i'm disciplining, she will interfere and scold but i learn to answer her in a v firm tone that i know what is best for the child...
We all learn and i know it takes time, support and courage.we all all in it together....
Just last wk,i went to my SIL home. Her MIL say what you give bb to drink. I said, BM only. She say, "NO, MUST give FM!!!" she is like empress dowager, my MIL beside also scared of her. I just said firmly, NO , she dun need it. BM is enough... HA HA,Victory! not for me only, but for my dear baby....
 
Gebbera
me too... hate my hubby's side to the core loh.. Hao lian always wanna show off... sick of it. Can still remember the things my MIL said to me when I was preggie..

If you starting a thread on "how to deal with nasty mil and gu gus...", I will be the 1st to support.. ekkeke
 
Well, sometimes for the sake of our baby's health, we have to stand up against our mil even tho we might be labelled 'bad dil'.

I rem when my son was 2 months old, my mil wanted to feed him chinese herbal powder when she saw that he had a poor apetite. I stopped her and then she started nagging at me. I told my hubby abt it and luckily my hubby is a 'bang li bu bang qing' person. If he thinks my mil is wrong, he will tell her straight in the face. After that my mil kept quiet and nvr persist. Somtimes I think it's better to let our hubbies do the toking cos only then will our mils listen, cos their sons say so mah.

Then the other time, once he did not pass motion for one day and happen tat I ate durian the prev day( i was bfing him). my mil criticised me in front of my son 'all becos of ur mama, take durian lah. See, now u cannot poo poo'. Wah sound as if i wan to harm my son and worse she repeated it so many times...
 
Hong,
ya, i'm the daring kind (to show black face to my miil) but not to the extend to talk back my hubby's family yet... how i wish i will be daring enough. but on the other hand, i also dun wanna spoilt the relationship between myself and my sils. Unfortunatrly most of the times, they are like really out to test my patient loh... and i still continue to REN though i'm already very very unhappy abt it. at the same time, i also scare i'll put hubby in a difficult position if i were to talk back at them... Of course if worst come to worst, i'll just have to do it liao... before i married to hubby, i didnt really "xiang chu" with my mil and sils. It's only after i got married then i realised they are this kinda people... not all my sils are like that lah, only a handful.. but this handful is enough to create havoc...

kin,
i should learnt from you... to be very FIRM with my hubby's side since they always take things for granted. it's really a mistake to have stay so near to my mil... the BIGGEST mistake that i've made... i foresee that such things will continue to happen and make me upset as long as i stayed near them....
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Fruitee,
my mil also ever said nasty thing and accused me before... it was eversince that incident, i told myself there's no point for me to respect her anymore... you know, she dislike me going back to my mum's hse every week... to the extend she even hinted me to seek for her permission first before i can go back to visit my mum... that's so ridiculous, right! if i know how to speak hokkien, i would answer her back "over my dead body!"
 
gebbera,
being firm is not wrong, we r not rude. we just standing up for our child.and i think that is right. of course, in their eyes, we r wu2 li3. but what to do, in the first place, fr day one when we step into their family, they already look at us with a diff eye, sometimes, look down even though we r all du2 shu1 ren2.....
sometimes, not worth it to talk back, it really will spoil relationship. anyway they are old already, i just say that just when there is a need to , just stand up, the rest, close TWO eyes. an example, before i moved to another home, i stayed in my PIL place for a few mths,. when i moved out, the complained that what for move. Then when we moved into the next street, they demand for our house keys. Then my MIL come and go as she pleases, most of the time, without calling first. Worse, when she come, she go straight to fridge, open up and cristicise the food, what i going to cook. how i going to cook. where i buy what.(that was before the bb came.).
After bb came, worse.... until, my friend came and warn her not to push me too far if not i will take her grandchild and jump down the flat.
They are always possessive and think only that the child is THEIR GRANDCHILD and not OUR child.So they think we cant handle. Which all would agree, that is not true....
I still get very very upset, so the best is to please them when they are around(as long as not at expense of children ,baby) and when they are not around, heave a sigh of relief.....
Gebbera, seems like your mil is quite demanding and sometimes, pushing herself too far . I guess, you have to ignore her ie, say dunno, or say, ask husband first, or something safe. Dont put yourself in a compromising situation. If your hubby can help you , let him do most of the talking.My MIL practise double standards, but to me, no use getting so angry, i hurt myself more. Cool down by avoiding her first.sigh.... dont know how to help you leh.
 
Gebbera,
if u cant talk back then just ignored her. IF the SIL is all out to irriate u then u must not get angry else u fall into her trap.

Kin,
ur frd go n tell her ah. At least she listen.
 
kin,
you are already helping me by posting the above advise and i really appreciate it.... just that sometimes even advise also cant help... our emotions are gettng the better out of us... my mil is too tradtional and out-dated as she felt that since i already married to the son, i should put them on my top priority and not go back to "niang jia" so frequent... something like "jia ji sui ji" type, you know... she not only stop me from visiting my mum. she also stop me from visiting my grandmother (my mum's mum)... see... i felt the more i tolerate such nonsense, the more outrageous request she will come out with... she's a real difficult folk loh... haiz...

privacy... she knew what time we go out and what time we come home... if we came home late from my mum or grandma's hse, she will pick on me again...
 
hong,
every nite i really pray hard that she dont come and bother us and i'll be very thankful... cannot miss the prayers one else something not nice sure to happen...

now she's not working anymore and i've to be on my guards cos she's too free and always wanna pick someone to quarrel with...
 
Gebbera
can understand your frustration.. me too.. but now my MIL is under my mercy.. ahhaha... my boy loh... if she nasty.. well, i'm sorry, u wont get to see your grandson... you can go hold your grandchildren (daughter's kids) and cry...
Maybe I guess u will have to ignore your MIL & SILs.. I also scare to put hb in difficult position but I had a serious talk with him before... this is between me & his mum.. well, a chinese sayings... one type of rice feed all sorts of ppl..
 
fruitee,
that's a good way to deal with your mil... to use her grandson to control her...
too bad, my mil stayed tooooo close to me liao... she'll "ding dong" on my doorsteps as and when she like and worst still, i got no ways to stop this....
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i'm glad that she dont have our housekeys else things will worsen. she ever requested to have a duplicate of our housekeys but we told her we dont see the need.
 
Hi mummies here, can advise me? My baby is now 3 months 13 days old, last friday went for his 1st 5-1 jab and he weights 7.8 kg and 63 cm in height now. He is drinking 6 oz of milk abt 4 hrs interval..is he overfed?
 
aiyo
all got MIL prob...haiz...last time i ever said my mil not mobile and stay at the other end of singapore..so wont bother me..unless me goes to her place on sunday lah...so once a week loh...now i bring ian over to her place every sunday..she started to nag again..last time scolded isaac for jumping here and there lah..waste paper lah..wste pen ink lah...cannot watch tv lah..now??? said ian drink too much milk lah...(omg...ian only drinking the max 150ml leh)...why i never latch him lah..why the clothes so tight and small...??/ pengz...said dun let him wear such tight clothing lah...this and that...at times felt like telling her off...i got no $$ to buy new clothes for ian..so bo bian must wear old clothes no doubt they are too small for ian...somemore as a paternal grandmother..oso never buy single pc of clothes for ian..still wanna comment...haiz....every week the same thing...think must 1 fine day..just let ian wear diapers..no clothes...
 
fruitee,
yup, had talked to my hubby and he had promised me that we will stay blocks away (at least not in the same block) from my mil as we heard there might be enblock for our estates... we still need the 40K grant loh so cant move out of the estates.

my hubby never find his mum too much except that only incident whereby his mum forbids me to visit my mum and all the accusations that she had on me...
 
dsii,
aiyo... you are finally here ar...
you so funny on that part... just let ian wear diapers and no clothes. hahaha... aiya, it's always hard to let those ppl who dont take care of our babies to understand loh... they only know how to talk and talk...

i guess it's true that mil and dil cannot live under the same roof... felt it's damn true loh... meeting once a week for dinner already is a chore, let alone stay under the same roof... my mil staying the same blk as me...
 
gebbera
i always here juz that not posting mah..ya wat..kept saying clothes too small too small..since she knows too small and i every week let him wear small small clothes..then go buy new one for ian lah...if not then juz keep quiet..some more last sunday ian wore those netted tee ...cooling mah...then hor i just bought abt 2-3 weeks and somemore for 18mths bb leh...she oso said small for ian..pengz..wonder if she can see clearly or not..or maybe she wanna ian wears tee that looks like dress on him...
 
dsii,
only go there for dinner twice or thrice a week.... but is more than enough for me liao...

wow.. ian can fit into 18mths clothings liao ah? you shld let your mil know at the same time hint her saying if she buy clothings for ian, make sure is 18mths and above. keke..
 
gebbera
hahaha....only the 1st 2-3 weeks ian wearing 0-6mths clothings...other than that all must 12mths and above...12mths one fits him juz nice...and me stingy mah..buy bigger than can wear longer..hahahaa...aiya..u wait long long ah..buy clothes for ian...dun hv to hope..cos no hope...hehehe...she only knows how to nag me not buying bigger size..but she wont take initiative to buy for him...
 
oh ya..last sunday she oso commented on ian's hair...she said with a TL face and tone..said whether so hot still dun cut ian's hair..so long and thick..im not being rude but i think i replied too fast to her...u ask ur son lah..ur son dun want to cut mah...then i think she tot i buay song...lucky my SIL was there too..then told her mum..tot now cant cut..must wait till ian 4th mths...then my MIL just diam diam with a unhappy look on her face..then mumble to herself (loud for me to hear though)...so long dun cut...weather so hot..so ugly etc...aiyo..she dunno the hair is ian's trade mark meh???
 
Gathering on 18th NOV(SAT)-1.30pm onwards at hong's place (old airport rd)..

1) Hong
2) dsiitan
3) PM
4) YB (not cfm yet)
5) lala
6) Z-Lia
7) yenny (not cfm yet)
8) lok (not cfm yet but likely ok)
9) poppy (not cfm yet)
10) Zita

mummies, feel free to add ur name leh..hehehee
 
Gathering on 18th NOV(SAT)-1.30pm onwards at hong's place (old airport rd)..

1) Hong
2) dsiitan
3) PM
4) YB (not cfm yet)
5) lala
6) Z-Lia
7) yenny (not cfm yet)
8) lok (not cfm yet but likely ok)
9) poppy (not cfm yet)
10) Zita
11) Juronggal
 
dsii,
me also buy clothings that is 1 size bigger for fion. can wear longer and can save money, so why not. kekeke... now fion can still fits in 0-3mths clothings and some in 0-6mths... my ger abit "shang po" and i'm hoping she will become more chubby...
 
Geberra,

No worries bout that. Cheers ;)

Hong & Dsii,

Most prob can't join gathering liao. My elder gal school concert on that day. It finish at bout 5pm.

MIL problem,

Hehe, I use to have lar. Now ok liao. Only can't stand her at times being kepo when she come to my place lor.
 
Hi mummies,

I'm looking for holiday program for my 2.5yrs old son for this coming holiday. Prefer weekdays n allow parent to accompany... Anyone know of any interesting ones? Thanks a lot!

OC, my bb kyra is a girl... but look like boy hor... cos no hair.
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hahaha... dsii! you ah... so funny on that part where your mil mumbling to herself.... i couldnt control and squeak (a laugh) at my workdesk just now...

wow... i was about to ask if there's any gathering coming along and there i saw your post. hmm... i'm interested to attend but dont confirm me first. scare i back up last minute just like the previous time. my hubby is out of town on a biz trip for the whole of next week, so not sure if i can make it or not. if going, i wont be bringing fion along, just bring myself nia...
 
Hi all,

Looks like everyone has PIL problems hor... i wonder why is it always MIL not FIL who create such differences wif DIL leh? Totally understand how all of u feel... guess what??!!! I stay wif my MIL since wedding in 2001 till now. And for the past few mths, I'm at home... (now still on leave)... face her everyday... haiz... MIL problems... where shld i begin....????? Not just close two eyes... had to shut down my brainy altogether... No choice! Luckily, I dont have SIL prob so far, she's not in Singapore... but hor we will going over soon and most likely staying together. Good or bad? I dont even dare to think... worse of all, hb always not ard... travels a lot for work... n me here stuck wif mil n 2 kids. What a life!
 
alvina,
my fion fion also no hair at the back. i'm quite worried cos when her top hair grows longer and behind still botak... aiyo i dun wanna imagine liao... kekeke...
 
ALvina,
why not try Juliab Gaberial?

Mich.. u cannot come ah.. sad leh.

Gebbera, Fruitee, Dsii
I got a mary jane shoes at bata for my ger. She loves it. Then my ger said she wanna wear to show great-granny. When my MIL saw it, she said in mandarin "why u wearing an Ah ma shoes. Who brot u the shoes" Wah liao...

My ger look so nice in that shoes and she comment it as "Ah Ma" Shoes. Last week she said the same thing again.

I very scare my MIL brot clothes for my ger cos it is always not the type of clothes i want my ger to put on.

Somemore i dun know how she washed clothes. All the clothes turn out to look like old old clothes after a few wash. I always complained to hubby but his answer is the SUN is too strong at his mum place so the clothes all tend to wear off faster. KNS.
 
hahaha... HONG, now is your turn to make me laugh... the KNS part... hahaha....

apparently your mil is jealous that your ger wanna show her nice shoes to her great-granny! if i were you, i will smile arogantly infront of mil becos this shows that your ger is always thinking of her great-granny... "qi si" your mil...
 
mich
hmm..i dunno leh...hong said can stay till we 'shuang'..hahaha....sekali toomlate..she uses brrom to sweep us out..hahahaha...

aiya fruitee again..think next time i must go ur place liao..hahaha..if not u always cant make it..hehehee....
 
Hi hong,

have u enrol your child in JG classes before? Any feedback? It's quite ex leh... but may try if allow parent to go... think my son not brave enough to venture alone... Now i'm still on leave can accompany him mah... Anyone else keen to join as well... got company better... thanks!
 
Hi geb,

How... our ger become botak soon!!!! Oh no... u know hor... last time my boy has so much hair like bb Ian like that.... so i thot my ger no need to worry... but I was WRONG... How to dress her up nice nice pretty pretty leh.... hahahaha....
 


Hong,

Wat time you all meeting? And wat time end? Let me noe. I see if I can come for awhile anot.

Baby hair,

Xaria now got 1 patch botak at the back of her head. Aiyo, so obvious lor.
 

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