(2006/07) JULY 2006 MTB

hong
hahaa...then ur hb got say he kelian bo?stuck with 2 kids..hehehe...aiya...my hb oso same same with #2 mah...that time he told me...his colleagues asked him y i didnt call as often as i used to when he went R&R..he said now younger kids ard..i bz n tired..so bo energy to stay awake to check on him or bomabrd him with my calls...and oso i bz chatting with my mummies frens...hahaha..he siad wait till ian is ard 3-4 yrsold..imore eng..and my 夺命追魂call will be back...hahahaha....
 


Hong,
I would say yes & no...yes cos he is more experience/hands on after the 1st kid..no cos he is getting more & more bz due to his career advancement & therefor not able to devote as much time as he used to during Cel's time..
I have been quite unfair to him, like legomum, i tends to compare him to those "perfect" hb i.e my close fren's hb..my close fren's hb is those who held high post in the ofc & yet can "bao" all the hsehold chores after works type..but of cos the _ve part is too domineering & tend to be a big bad temper lah :p
Like wat LP said lor, nothing is perfect in this world..we got to adjust our expectation lor
 
While u all like to compare against 'perfect' hubby.

I try to 'an wei' myself by comparing those even more bo chap hubbies. Wah. What a good way to console oneself.Hahaha. After that I feel much better and sometimes even appreciate what my hb does at his minimum *roll eyes*
 
Aiyo..Misaryeo & YB...sanyang sayang..., maybe they still have not mature to know what is committment & sharing responsiblities of maintaining a family.

Today topic is about husband har, read through the posting , i need to give some credit to my HB.

Although he is not good at dealing & handling kids, but at least he is the one doing all the houseworks, washing clothes ,V bottles & doing all the night feed since my gal was born, I sleep thr. the night like pig & wake up late during weekend. He will wake up at 7am to do housework. Now going to have maid, I will need him to train her, cause he got a higher expectation on house cleanliness more then me.

Weekday sometime I will go out with friends, he will takecare of V & pat her to sleep. Weekend I stay home play Majong ,he will bring V go out. Seem like we have switch the role liao, but I still got complaint about him seldom spend time reading or playing with V lo. So no one is perfect. we just need to adjust & get use to the HB we choose.
 
PM, when i was in SIN I was running around work place and my parents' place almost everyday. Maybe that time E was very young, so I wanto to be as hands on as I can even though I was already working. I did went out wif gfs but most of the time I wanted to be home wif E asap. So I didn't quite feel it. I have a bunch of very close gfs in SIN lah... I live in Tamp, when I go back we can go out together lah...I can be ur friend :p But i am abit shy lah..

yah man.. i wish i can transfer my tummy to him. If i tell him that, he'll sure say he also wish he can help me withthe load. Especially this preg. My girl really moves alot lor.. very uncomfy, and i get alot of braxton hicks too. I can't wait to deliver. keep counting down...

Sometimes I think if i have made the right choice of not going back earlier to SIN and stayed to take care of the 2 kiddos myself. Like ownself find trouble for ownself like that. Somemore he'll be away for a couple of weeks. a afew time next yr.. I think I sure jialat liao... dunno how long i can take this man.. very tiring lor.. hsework, kids, family... I really miss being my parents' daughter, how i wish i can go home and just collaspe and let them handle the rest for me...

To be fair to my hubby, he like alot of OTHERS does help out as much as he can, provided according to his schedule. If he can be a little more involve, it will be better.

Sorry sorry, liverpool.. i know u r not one lah...
 
Mummies,

My heart goes out to all of u. But ultimately, I believe in communication and the commitment from both sides to make it work. Sometimes, my hubby is like that too but I have come to realized that he's not doing it deliberately. Just need to be constantly reminded. Now that we have a maid, things are a bit better --- can focus on Joshua rather than the nitty-gritty.

My hubby is a lot more involved in the past but nowadays less as he's having health challenges. His wake-up call came when we (i.e hubby and me) asked Joshua recently whether he likes daddy and his answer was "NO!" since he hardly spend time with J. Joshua actually likes the maid more than him. Sad situation but at least now he realizes the severity of the situation. I still believe most husbands want to be the best daddy they know how but perhaps need a bit of guidance.
 
Misayeo ...dont noe wat to say, but I really feel for u lo, in foreign land far away from families & mummy child, no friends & having to cope the housework & kids. Have u every try to talk to him face to face? or write an email to let him know yr feeling? When I am unhappy about my HB, I will drop him a mail. I dont like comfrontation & too emotional. Thro. mail we can sort things out & make changes.
 
Is Hong working for PM's Office to help in increasing the birth rate? Wau, that is a good reason man.....2nd child so that daddy can get more involve.

What about 3rd and 4th kid then. So sad that govt did not give extra incentive except increase 5% tax relief. Was hoping that govt help me to "convince" my wife....but now all back to myself. So sad.....
 
Zita, I'm like YB, whatever i wanna say already say liao. no point repeating if it simply doesn't get into his head. unless its new issue, if not i'll just close both eyes and ren until i cannot take it, then su ku here... I did what u did before. got use or not i also dunno. cos usually no feedback from him de...

I believe this leopard cannot change its spot.
 
Hi mummies,
wah....today, complain hb day ah? Can't complain about mine, he is doing everything he can liao, even at the expense of his career.

Zita,
Hb and I used to "quarrel" over emails too before we got married. I also dun like confrontation, emailing helps me sort out my thots more clearly.
 
The other day, my hubby came back from work and told me that his fren who had married a korean wife, is enjoying life at home. He doesn't need to take care of kids or do any housework at all. His wife told him to just rest, and even bring him his bedroom slippers when he comes home. Then my hubby said ," good hor?"

When my hubby told me all this, I realised he also has his own perceptions on HOW his own wife shld ideally be. I didn't say anything UNTIL he came to the bedroom slippers part. I buay tahan and told him " u go Korea and find an er nai to serve u lor."
 
I also wan to join in :p ...my complain is: whenever we quarrel, my hubby will say it's very difficult to find such a hands on daddy like him liao...KNS...thinks so highly of himself. Then i will reply.."Wah, u very noble lor, must give u award bo? I sit there n do nothing is it?"
 
ha ha ha..lego mum, I think your husband never tell you the FULL story about Korean wives...see, my husband has Korean clients (the men) and they will tell him that they will go out drinking, come back home late and the wives will make them tea when they get home or cook supper to make sure that they are well rested. So my husband say, wah, you guys very good life hoh....and the Koreans say, actually it is in return for ALL the salary that the men gives the wives. You see, it is the Korean culture that ALL the men's salary goes to the wife in return for her looking after his needs and taking care of him, so much so that the bonus for Koreans is paid in CASH so that the Korean hubbies have some spare cash...if not, they will have to ask their wives for $$....

I told my husband that if he gives me ALL his salary, I can also do what the Koreans wives do...he laughed and said no need, he rather keep his financial independence and share share housework
 
MTDT,
Ya lor not dat i dun appreciate him lah, but during fights, he always compare himself with other daddies who dun need to do so much, but dats bcos they have MIL n maid to help their wives mah.
 
Lego mum...Ya that time I go korea , the tour guide also tell me that. Dont tink they very da na ren, we dont noe the other side of the man story. Their culture to give all salary to wife & every day take pocket $ from wife. The wife will manage the household & husband. The guide told us he have to hide xi fan $$$ in the toilet bowl..to go out R&R with frez.

U ask yr Legodad wan do that bo lah? then u treat him like king....wahahaha
 
CHM, zita,

That's wat I thot also, cos I have heard before abt the part whereby the husbands have to surrender all their pay to their wives. But when I ask legodad abt that, he replied dunno.

Maybe HE KNOWS and think I DUNNO. Or maybe he self-denial or dowan to know, only think abt the good sides nia. Bring bedroom slippers to him huh...wait long long lo..
 
legomumhahahaha...u sofunny... if i will u..i will tell hb the floor is clean enufff....imay not do a gd job..but 'ok' job..sodun need to wear bedroom slippers in my hse!!!!!
 
dsii,

ya.. can die one leh.. I also told him may as well, I feed and change him.

As if ONE kid in the house not enuff, there's another one, OLD one somemore....
 
Liverpool,
I dun work for PM office leh. I cannot influence PM as well. hahaha..

KLCC,
same here. Hubby change job and need to be on duty either on weekday or weekends. At least he is working, I am ok. I have already adjusted myself already. We both give ourselves times to go out with friends occassional so quite balance now.

May be our hubbies are also complaining abt the wives with their frd too. hahaha
 
Got petition huh. I also want to write in....I am trying hard to make up for those that is contented with 1 kid by trying to convince wife for the 3rd....but govt not helping. SOB SOB
 
KLCC,
huh, than not fair. During Janelle time we also submitted petition but govt didnt do anything. KNS!
 
jul
think the govt shld backdate to 1aug.. since all these plans are alrdy confirmed way b4 his speech.. plus the olympic, his speech also delayed.. (jul wink wink!) imagine those born on 16th aug!! super lugi!

thankful my hb only spend time with the family whenever he has time.. no golf no soccer no tv ..phew.. he always hv activities for the boys..

i m a bit lucky to hv a helper to take care of housework.. but tat was hb 's idea to take care of HIS SHARE of house work..

yb
since being a mother, i also hv no life.. the last time i stayed out sooo late was when we played mj at yr hse.. hahah... the only parties i attend are kids parties.. the only pple i hang out are other mummies with kids or my boys...

i understand why u say if can do it all over again, we wldnt get married :p
 
ep,
YES! If I can start all over all, I dun wanna get married..dun wanna have kids. Life is so so much better when I was still single & happening. Haha.
 
hong
haha..i oso hv R&R leh...but mine still ard Pasir Ris...i go la kopi with PAsir RIs mummies...hahaha...like that day u saw me at whitesand??? those are PR mummies loh...we usually meet on fri..ard 9plus...hahaha..still ard this area..but at least i can be away with the boys and chit chat with some frens...hehe...u know lah..i chatty aunty mah...
 
Backdate - I think Govt's plan lah. They want to be seen as they are "listening"... react to public views mah. so 1st announce Jan09... then revised to Aug08. all done within 2 days.... u think? hahahha :p

dsii - ur PR Thread so happening huh? every friday hv meeting huh? today SK/PGL thread also got gathering... but i not cook with them. hahhaa

KLCC - u going? :p
 
Jul - Write a personal email to appeal....
last time it was effective in 1st Aug.. but I noe alot of Jul mummies appealed and got it approved.

but besides the additional mth and 4days of ccdays (Which dun apply to u), wat else is new for no2 kid? :p
 
MT, go where? the SK gathering ah? Bo lah..
Hong, ya..we really lugi for #1..nothing at all..no bb bonus, no CDA, 2 mth ML nia..sob sob
 
yb..hahah can join...but usually now is after 9pm leh...then we will chat till past midnite then take the last feeder bus service home...hehehhee...last time usedto be ard 7.30pm..so that somemummies after work will drop by when they reach PR station...but too rush forsomeof us cos need yo wait hb home to take over 2nd shift...then time changed to 9pm plus when one mummy moved to toa payoh but came back PR to stay over the weekends at her mum'splace...hehehe....

mtdt
u not cook meh? tot u always got gathering with the punggol mummies too??
 
there is 2 thread...

1) SK/PGL - started first mostly SK pple. this one not tat cook loh. :p

2) PGL - started later... this one i more cook. got join their gathering. this mth gathering at my plc.hahahaa

then now the pgl mummies planning for lunch buffet without kids... tempting me to take leave n join them. faintz. hahhaa :p
 
yb
*sayang sayang* u too after reading ur post. Really not easy for u to hv to go thru these. Though u may feel that status quo is good enuff & u r hardening ur heart to hv little expectations of him so as not to be disappointed further, this is still not a good situation to be in. By 'pushing' him away, it may not be good for the marriage. Most men r still lil boys at heart & the fact that he's willing to tell u abt his apprehensions abt his new job etc, shows that he still cares abt u & the family a lot? He may not be able to express it very well or may simply be selfish lah...whatever it is, communication is key...do not give up on ur marriage; u r still so so young!
 
Wah cant rbr when was my last R&R with my frd but there will be one on 12 Sept. The problem is some of my close frd are not married or no kids. They are very understand that I need to rush home, after not meeting for a while we just missed out something.

Now, if i am really bored. I called my two sisters out for R&R lor.
 
klcc, my mum was saying, it doesn't affect me why i feel so happy, then i thot yalor doesn't affect me, but just feeling happy for others...
 


me too,I am happy cos if affect my close cousin who is due in mid Dec 08 & my collic & fren who r due these few mths
happy.gif

the 6 days CCL impact on us also ah..and for some the CC subsidy also ah..
 
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