hey motherhen, if you want no.1 to slp in his own room, i suggest you start 'training' asap. It's not advisable to move him out at a time too near your EDD or after you deliver cos he will associate the move with abandonment - ie the reason why you move him out is becos you have no.2. He will be very traumatised.
cos we moved house last year during my pregnancy, and took a long time to get things settled down, we couldn't start training no.1 to slp in own room in time. So he slps on a mattress beside our bed.
in the beginning, we put no. 2 in crib in our room. But on the first night, we found out that crying is CONTAGIOUS! when one cries, the other one will soon follow. Both my HB and i nearly went crazy.
in the end, we put no. 2's crib in the kids' room. Inspired by my friend who let her dd slp in her own room since birth, HB and i decided to let no.2 slp on her own from now onwards. When no. 1 is older, we will let him slp with his sister in the kids' room. So now, no. 2 slps on her own and we are alerted to her cries thru baby monitor. actually i read somewhere that baby will slp better on their own becos parents won't pick baby up at every whimper. i've observed my girl during the day. sometimes she cries for a while, and i dun pick her up, she does fall back to slp again sometimes... so now we only pick her up when her cries become persistent.
motherhen, to answer your last qn... for me, after no.2 was born, i could spend more quality time with no.1. Cos i could play and hug him anyway i wanted without fear. I seldom played with him when i was pregnant cos he's very rough. so strange, right? he's getting closer to me now... in the past, he would ask for his papa all the time. This morning, he actually rejected his papa and wanted me to carry him!
dun feel guilty lah. your love for no. 1 will be be any less. I always believe that a mother's love doesn't get divided among her children, instead, her love multiplies