(2006/01) Jan 2006 MTBs

re: parent vs IL

actually urgements and conflicts oso happen with my parent... im not sure if any mummy is in the same boat as me.

as my mum is dylan's daytime caregiver, for sure she is very attach to him and kan cheong over everything that is related to him. till now she oso dont believe bb can solely take in BM and no water needed. keep saying must drink lots of water, thats how she fed me and my brother. but she did not understand and not willing to accept the fact that bb is mostly on BM and not FM leh... sigh. my view and hers oso clash at times. for e.g. this morning when i told her im not getting baby walker anymore bcoz of this this and that, and what doctors and professionals stated how harmful it will do to bb. know what she say... "dont always listen to doctors, why walker not good, never heard it is harmful or any bb turn out not good after using it" sorry to say but im abit piss after heard her said that.i replied " never heard before does not mean it never happen".

when bb not well, she is the first to say go see doctor... when i decide on something base on scientific grounds and inform her, she oppose strongly.... sigh... she oso not that supportive of BF, keeping saying so ma fan to warm up etc etc...

my father oso one of a kind... keep wanting to play with dylan when he clearly is rubbing his eye and looks tried. making all sort of sound to attract his attention and talk loudly around him. theres once he play with bb till bb over stimulated and the whole night keep crying coz difficulties for him to get to sleep. i already told him not to play so much and i think he just brush my words aside......

sorry... im one funny mummy who complain about her own parent...
 


rachel,
its normal, but at least with our parents we can tell them straight. like when my mum talks loudly when megan is sleeping, i jus tell her,'oui, u very loud leh, wait she wakes up u responsible for patting her to bed ah.'

for ILs, we can't tell them straight, yet hubby sometimes also dun wanna say, or they are tactless. it's quite hard on hb sometimes. like dat day, i told my hb i saw MIL rocking the whole play pen to rock megan to sleep. i told him its not good. he got annoyed and said,'ya la, ya la, i will tell her.' but i told him cannot tell her! she will know its me! so i told him he can only tell her if he sees it himself.

uh...so poor hubby :p
 
tracy
think aches are quite common but think best for your fren to check with her gynae.

queen,
can understand how u feel. intially when i dun have enough MS, i kept thinking abt it. but after that i kept telling myself most impt is the time spent with JH. it really feels hard to let go, even harder for u cos u r TBF. but Isaac already has the best milk for some time liao so try not to think too much!

Y
how do u handle a flipping baby? really scared that at night when we are sleeping, he will flip and then suffocate himself. and he needs constant attention now cos of his flipping. he's very funny one. he will give a shout and then flip. so we know when he's flipping...
 
cookie
i also very sad that cannot be there for all the milestones. but my bb very cooperative. he did his first flip over the weekend so at least din miss it!!

sometimes i will keep telling him must wait for me to be ard for his milestones..do brainwashing..

re BM vs water
yah old folks have this thing abt drinking water. but it is also true that if we dun train them to drink water from young, we will have a lot of problems making them drink water. this is what the nurse told me. my boy already rejects water like mad now...

Tracy
u r so right that hb always dun wan to tell IL abt our ideas. it really makes me piss. then when i have something to say abt IL, he will find something to say abt my parents..tit for tat...
 
denmy,

my gal only 4 mths 1 wk. Actually I feel that it's not that she's not interested in milk but she's not interested in the bottle. I usually go office at 11am and reach home at ard 7pm. For these 8 hours, she can drink only 200ml of EBM... but in the evening and at night, she would want to latch on every hr. My mum's worried that she doesn't have enough so wanted to giver her some cereal to try out.
 
SY,

my gal also seems very interested in our food. Whenever she sees us putting things into our mouth, her eyes will follow...
 
SY,

I can also sense my mil's unhappiness when Bb cries if she's carrying her. She will always say that bb recognises pple then complain that we bring bb over too infrequently therefore bb doesn't recognise her. I just pretend not to hear lor. what to do?
 
tracy

true la. sigh...... towards our parent can say straight away. but hor, they tends dont listen to what we say coz they think they know more than us...

haha our hb sometime is really poor thing. but what to do, they somethime really blur and sotong and tactless,
 
SY,
haha...so cute...shout!!! Its like a mini introduction..."Hey...watch me!"

I'll surround him with pillows when i need to go away to get stuff. He'll be very angry and "complaining" away...

Your bb sleeps where??? alone in cot?
 
mongs,

i think bbies on tbf can be chubby too. My gal weighs 6.3kg when she's 3 mths old. That's more than double her birth wt of 2.8kg.
 
Y
my bb sleeps alone in cot.

sometimes i will put him on my bed when i do things. then will put pillows too. he will complain and push it away as he tries to flip.

funny hor, he will give a shout. so one morning when he woke up, me and maid immediately rush to his room when we heard his shout....
 
queen,

of cos you are not going crazy. I think all of us whose bbies on tbf have this pressure to maintain ms. I know I do, even though my bb drinks very, very little from the bottle. Don't worry and don't get upset cos if you do, ms will be affected also.
 
sleepingdeer,

I agree with your post. I think having a bb completely changes our lives. Before the bb came along, me and my hubby don't argue at all. We have quality time with each other. Whenever we can both take leave, we go for overseas holidays together. Nowadays, we don't even have meals together frequently - one of us needs to look after the bb while the other eats. Sometimes I really miss the days when it's just 2 of us.
 
sy,

ya - scary right? During weekends, I latch her on so can't tell the amt she drinks. However, she does put on weight. I convert my third month ML to 2 mths of half days so I work half days after my second mth ML. During my gal's checkup in her third mth, her wt gain is gd - from 5.2 kg to 6.3kg. PD says as long as she's gaining wt, let her be. So I also close 2 eyes already. : )
 
SY

hahaha yur boy so cute. think he know he is doing kongfu (like those kongfu master always go "hah hah yah!") so he need to be professional mah =p

so sad, you cant make it for the gathering. actually wish to touch touch your boy's thick hair.. heehee

re: gathering
any more mummies joining?? it will be great to have a big get together with all our babies!
 
Wow I din know my MIL grouses actually brought on so many comments of similar MIL/DIL problems!

Rachel,
Our mothers/MILs come from the infant formula milk generation that's why they must feed water. That was the first thing my mum ask the PD when aaron was discharge from hospital. PD say just BM and love. At least my mum heard this direct from the PD. My MIL not educated also keep insisting must give water. Funny thing is aaron does not like to drink water also and will never drink it from the bottle. You know what my MIL did? She use those syringe for his fever medicine to "shoot" into his mouth. I tot that was quite clever and I'm not against it, coz aaron is on partial BM and FM and can get quite heaty.

cookie,
wah u very drama mama leh. But its quite a good tip! The thing is I speak to my bb in English and my MIL only understand Chinese/Hokkien. So if I purposely speak in Mandarin, she will know I hinting to her liao! :p My bb also dun like tummy time. I tried many times already. Also do you all find that boys generally develop slower than girls? Although aaron can sit up, his head like still quite wobbly.

Hi Tracy,
yah I oso trying my BEST not to complain to him abt my MIL. Coz he being the middleman also not easy. Moreover he not very close to his mum also. I stay in Blk 130 in Punggol 21.

Hi queen,
I also agree that u are not crazy. Its normal that you will feel reluctant to lose that skin bonding. I regret not perservering to BF. Aaron is on total EBM and I was too lazy to continue latching him on. Now is too late liao.

I hope I will not feel too awkward meeting you gals since most of u have met each other during the first few gatherings liao. Its very easy to identify me, I'm quite tall abt 1.74m.
 
hi sl,
Yah I agree that my hubby and I quarrel more after having baby. That's why we make it a point to have some couple time. Vesak Day, hubby and I put bb at my mum's place and went to Cathay Cineplex to watch Poseidon. Really enjoyed it! But found paying $9.50 per tix really too ex man. I read that someone brought bb to watch Da Vinci Code. Can mah? Baby cry then how?
 
SY
I laugh when read your bb will shout when flip.. so cute.

Re: Gathering
are we suppose to bring the bumbo har?

SL
I agree.. I miss the couple time my hb and I used to have.
Smetimes I also miss the "alone" time when I do my things without worry...
Although things changes when bb arrive.. but I would say it's for the better mostly...
 
sl,
lucky u r home for half the week or your gal really will starve....

rachel,
i also wan to go but sat really difficult for me...
sad.gif
sob sob...next time bah. i won't be cutting my boy's hair anytime soon!

java,
i also wan to ask the same question..how to bring bb to watch movie??
 
java

you know what, my mum dont dare to use the syringe i pass to her! she said very scary like injection *faint* but after she saw me hand express out my BM when dylan fuss instead of latch on, i use the syringe to feed him and he actually guai guai drink all thr BM..... notti boy. now she say she will use that to feed him water... haha

you wont feel awkward, since we as mummy has so much common topic to talk about! wow you are really tall.
 
java,
ya lah, we haven't met up with everyone as well. so far i ve only met rachel. ur so tall..i'm the shortie then, only 1.56cm.
 
mummies
long time didn't come in liao... so many postings to read!!!
my gal has been wailing every night after the last feed when we put her in the cot and left the room... it's so frustrating and sad to say that i leave her alone and cry till zzz. 'cos i am too tired to handle her after work...
sad.gif


queen
you are not crazy. i am hoping to TBF as long as i can but on the other hand, i know that when my gal is 6 mth old, she will need BF lesser and lesser... kind of reluctant to let her have solid. haha.... me even more crazy. :p
so, meaning you don't have any EBM stored in the fridge?
200ml per pump is considered very good leh! i seldom can have this much of supply each pump. the best i can get is 180ml only. you pump every 3 hours?
 
Sleepingdeer, cookie, she looks proud hor? Yes, can understand what you mean, cookie. Want to capture all the 1st moments of our babies.

Mashy, wah, you even faster. I thought Kirsten might be the youngest member but I was wrong!

Sandra, how envious! Where did you go? I am also itching to dive but dont dare to bring bb along or pass her to someone else cos she has never left my side before. Wanted to go to Manado last year but cancelled trip after found out about pregnancy.

Sandra Chu, Sarah so guai, can bring her to cinema?

Denmy, can also send me a copy of the meal planner? Thanks so much!

Queen, can understand your internal turmoil. It is really hard to let go and no lah, you are not going crazy!

Rachel, my mum also. Everytime we see her, whether at home or outside, she will surely ask whether I give bb water, did I bring a bottle of water out, etc etc Will ask and warn me at least 3 times So naggy till I have to lie to her sometimes, but I know she means well because she also had this problem with my brother. So, Ill try to give a bit of water once a day when I can remember. Take it as washing bbs mouth bah
 
java,
will you be joining us for the gathering?

RE: Gathering


1) rena + hb + bb (confirm)
2) Java + hb + bb
3) sleepingdeer + hb+ bb (confirm)
4) rachel + hb + bb (confirm)
5) Clare + hb + bb (confirm)
6) durianlver + hb + bb
7) Cookie + hb + bb (confirm)
8) Tracy + hb + bb (confirm)
9) MamaChan + hb + bb
10) sandra + hb + bb (confirm)
11) God's child + hb + bb

Please confim ..
VEnue:phoenix hotel garden cafe
Time : 2.30pm

Price : 19.90+++ ~ approx: 23 dollars
 
TRacy,
yep, you kno wwhat I mean about the little things about MIL, right? No matter what, its just not our own mothers lah... that's why I have told my hubby very clearly already, next time, I can look after my gal's children, but I will NEVER look after my son's kids if I have a bb boy next... DIL and MIL can never totally see eye to eye.

SL, cookie,
same here, my hubby and I take turns to eat if we are alone with bb, and no such thing as private holiday already... everywhere we go, bb goes as well...

Sandra Chu,
yes, that's what I use to console myself when I direct latch her, coz when I'm away, she needs at least 180ml of milk each feed, and I KNOW that I dun have 180ml in my breast at any given time... coz I can only pump out a miserable 100ml each time. But she always seems satisfied at my breasts so I just leave it as it is loh...

Hi Java,
dun worry about the gathering, in fact other than Rena, Cookie, and Clarye who went for the previous gathering, I have never met the rest of the mummies!

RE: Gathering
1) rena + hb + bb (confirm)
2) Java + hb + bb (confirm)
3) sleepingdeer + hb+ bb (confirm)
4) rachel + hb + bb (confirm)
5) Clare + hb + bb (confirm)
6) durianlver + hb + bb
7) Cookie + hb + bb (confirm)
8) Tracy + hb + bb (confirm)
9) MamaChan + hb + bb
10) sandra + hb + bb (confirm)
11) God's child + hb + bb

Please confim ..
VEnue:phoenix hotel garden cafe
Time : 2.30pm

Price : 19.90+++ ~ approx: 23 dollars
 
hi mommies

My girl now is 4 mth 3 days. On Sat, tried feeding her with Gerber cereal. She does not know how to swallow!
uhoh.gif

Then we tried again on Sun. Wow, this time is a gulping every spoonful!
kao_cheers.gif

So now, I will feed her 1 spoon of cereal everyday.
 
java
Oh.. for me and hb.. we mix mix one..heee sometimes talk to bb in mandrian, sometimes English, sometimes even cantonese..haha.. so my MIL will not be suspicious of me :p
Actually my MIL can even speak and understand simple English..

sleepingdeer/sl
I think we should take leave.. but for u easier..heehee SAHM soon...leave bb to MIL or mum and go dating with hb again.
otherwise I think not healthy also la...all baby and no couple time..hmmm...
 
Solid: i mix brown rice into my boi milk and he constipated. so hold till further notice for brown rice.

my boi refuse heinz rice cereal

i tried Heinz Parsnips, Carrots & Sweet Potato Puree, he like it...

this sat will try sometime else... maybe mixing the puree into the rice cereal.
 
mummies
seems that lots of you have started solid for your bb...
after the solid, still need to feed milk? or one time solid = 1 milk feed?
 
Just came back from the PD's for the 2nd 6in1 jab. Also gave the 2nd dose of rotavirus vaccine. I asked PD regarding news of recall of the old rotavirus vaccine and she said yes. That was call "Rotashield", made in China and using monkey cells!! The one that we are having is "Rotarix" using human cells and it is safe and approved.

Told her how badly my boy is feeding and she says yes, some babies just don;t like milk and it is very stressful for the caregivers. I couldn't agree more, whole day when reach feeding time I always feel the pressure. She checked Lucas physically and said we can give him solids already since his milk intake is decreasing. Think no one here can beat him liao... only 600ml each day somemore must force.

Really pray that he will love solids and eat more.

sl,
you might want to hold back solids for a while if your girl is still enthusiastic about milk (at least she loves the latching). PD says best is still wait till 6mths especially when on TBF.

Denmy,
Can I have the meal planner too
happy.gif


queen,
Don't feel so stressed up. My colleague pumps only about 130ml each session and 2 sessions each day while at work. Her boy is on TBF till 11 mths old!!
 
Re: MS

my milk supply has been dipping horribly since yesterday. last week still can pump 360ml from two sessions,yesterday 320ml, today only 260ml...

think I better drink more water and resume the nursing tea..
 
cindy
though your boy drinks little milk, he is still huge!
happy.gif

my boy can;t fit in the seat well esp the thighs part. how u fit lucas in?
 
cindy - ur boy looks so cute in his bumbo seat. wah..good weight. my boy is only 6.8kg at 4 wks. he looks like ur boy weight but weigh much lesser. like ur boy, my boy also has little hair.. i always call him botak
happy.gif
 
SY,
2 person to fit him in. One person has to pry open the legs part and I'll sit him very much to the back so that it is well supported. Think he can fit well cos he's quite short. 64cm only - 50-percentile. Weight is 90-percentile.
I always think he is using his 'reserves', he used to drink 100ml when 3 weeks old. So you can imagine how disappointed we are to find that he actually dislike milk after the 2nd mth.

SSF,
So funny when we just shved him, my hb kept calling him botak and he cried haha..

Rena,
I think Lucas has a mature face. Not the typical cute bb type, somemore complexion very tan, there's a neighbour that thought he is a Malay bb when my maid carried him... hope he can grow up to be more like Louis Koo :p

Here are pics of Lucas at 3 mths. I think he looked bigger then... dunno if cos of photography or he is now taller so more 'stretched'.
426796.jpg

426797.jpg
 
My mom was the one who took all his pics. She and maid would place all his toys and make him pose. Luckily got them, me so lazy... never take much for him. I actually prefer the candid shots type, hmmm... am eyeing a better phone with good camera function, no need to take out camera all the time.
 
Queen

you're not crazy. When I was told I don't have enough milk for my boy, I wanted to cry. I think it's normal to feel this way.

Same like you, my MIL also didn't like my boy looking like me/my family side. When pp ask who my boy looks like, she said nobody when in fact he looks like my father/brother. Then she keeps telling my boy, dunno how come u don't look like anybody. Now my boy puts on more fats in his face, she say, oh, finally looking more like daddy. What's wrong with her? Can't my boy look like my family side? I prefer that way anyway, my family men look more handsome. :p Also, look like my hb, means look like my MIL. He's a female replica of her. Gosh! One is enough. I don't want any of my children looking like her.
 
Rena,
Do you sterilize the bowl and spoon that you feed solids with? Can the plastic take it? Where to buy good spoons... I find the ones that were given to me all quite big. So exciting... can't wait to try this weekend.
 
masy brainz,
you are so funny! I think the same way too. My hb looks like his mom, I certainly dun want to be reminded of that each time I look at bb.
 
Mashy,
That's one of his favourite toy. He will start sucking milk when we press the button with Cookie Monster going 'gribbit gribbit'. I am think of getting another one. Which is better, Elmo or Ernie?
Somehow Lucas likes monkeys... quite a strange animal for bbs to take an interest in hor? We got him a few until my MIL kept making negative comments about it, some superstitous thing...
 


mashy,
since birth, my MIL keeps saying dunno baby looks like who, when ALL visitors say she is a replica of my hb. now my baby looking more like me, when others say that, she will then say no lah, still got look like my hb! can't she make up her mind??

then whenever the baby has not so good things, like rash on neck, she will say my hb last time young dun ve, my 2 nephews also dun ve leh. when i say i had it when young, she will tell my bb (again),'oh, its mummy lah.' wah siao...

today, she keeps harping on baby drinking only 180ml not enuf, will cry after milk etc. i tried to explain again that the total amt she takes in a day still the same, only drinking more times rather than drinking more at one shot. the strange thing is when my bb is w me during wknds, i dun experience such things.

jus now i noticed my gal's right eye slightly swollen but i didnt say anything. then my SIL commented my bb looks different today. i said is it the eye swollen? she said ya ya. my MIL look, then say no lah, jus woke up lah. i said no lah, she woke up an hour ago...she jus kept quiet n didnt dwell on the topic of the eye. maybe something happened but she didnt wanna tell. well, this is minor so i wun pursue the matter.

then she remind me at home muz make sure i let bb sleep different sides so head will be rounded. las time newborn, say her head too flat at the sides, muz sleep on her back. now say back too flat, muz sleep on sides. i told her the back of my head also not nice, hair cover already, never mind lah.

sorry about the grumbles...me terrible DIL.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

D
Looking for a English speaking nanny ? Any recommend?
Replies
1
Views
413
Jessie_91
J
X
Returning of Red Eggs on 5th Jan 2026
Replies
0
Views
241
xpolkadotted
X
R
Confinement Nanny review: Liong Wan Ying (Evon)
Replies
0
Views
404
rk47
R
A
Urgent - Recommendations for confinement nanny
Replies
0
Views
911
azh
A
R
Any preg mums in their 40s?
Replies
10
Views
1K
iron_lady
I

Back
Top