(2006/01) Jan 2006 MTBs
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Zhimin - the pics of clariss and declan very sweet and heart warming!!! and they reali look very identical, esp the eyes
Babylon - agree tat nowadays MRTS are very suffocating... i also had those faint spells once in w while when i have menses... esp on an empty stomach. mabbie can take some food before u head on board the train?
SSF - like mamachan, my maid also does it on her off day and when i by pass town, she will bring her monies along to remit via Western Union...
Babylon - agree tat nowadays MRTS are very suffocating... i also had those faint spells once in w while when i have menses... esp on an empty stomach. mabbie can take some food before u head on board the train?
SSF - like mamachan, my maid also does it on her off day and when i by pass town, she will bring her monies along to remit via Western Union...
sophia_rebekah
New Member
SSF
Most times we provide for her basic needs like toiletries (as normally I would buy things in bulk so all can use, including the sanitary napkins). I know my mom and MIL would buy clothes (from wet market) or my MIL would have sample garments given to her and sometimes will give to my maid to wear. So I don't think it's too much for them to pay their own when it comes to remitting their own money back home. This kind of thing they will and should zhi dong. Certain issues have to draw clear lines, the rest is solely up to individual employers bah. For me, how I deal with maid's welfare, is how I've seen what my mom did last time. But she's still best at managing lah...I'm pretty sure my hb and my relax ways might have spoiled my helper in certain aspects but At least I'm thankful that she's zhidong and don't anyhow play punk.
Most times we provide for her basic needs like toiletries (as normally I would buy things in bulk so all can use, including the sanitary napkins). I know my mom and MIL would buy clothes (from wet market) or my MIL would have sample garments given to her and sometimes will give to my maid to wear. So I don't think it's too much for them to pay their own when it comes to remitting their own money back home. This kind of thing they will and should zhi dong. Certain issues have to draw clear lines, the rest is solely up to individual employers bah. For me, how I deal with maid's welfare, is how I've seen what my mom did last time. But she's still best at managing lah...I'm pretty sure my hb and my relax ways might have spoiled my helper in certain aspects but At least I'm thankful that she's zhidong and don't anyhow play punk.
Re:maid/helper
Ytd is a stressful day/night. my hb has a big quarrel with MIL over maid issue.
All started... maid has some money from CNY angbao, she decide to call home (never call for 3 mth already). We have calculated and ask her to keep $20 for phone card, then last weekend, when we wanna bring her to make the purchase she told, MIL took $10 away from her to buy clothes pegs!!
HB is angry MIL never told us she took away the $10 ( MIL know we will disagree with her, tt y she never inform), then one thing to another, a recent water heater spoil ( used for more than 10yrs) MIL blame it's maid who spoil it. HB told her becos it's wear and tear, she insist we are covering up for the maid and siding the maid.
I was hiding in the room feeding #2 the whole time..dun wan MIL to think we all against her if I join in. I ask maid to go into hiding as well.
FIL agree that MIL should not forece maid to come out with $10 with clothes peg, if Maid has accidentally drop clothes out of the window, can ask hr to go down pick up but not force her to buy, if maid refuse to go down to pick up then can scold her.
$10 for clothes peg also a bit too much rite?
Maid when to make call finally ytd afternoon, we gave her another $10 first and she came back red-eyed, told me she made lotsa of mistake and my MIL dun like her, she ask me to transfer her out!!? Then for the rest of the whole evening, she always red-eyed and eye abit swollen.. haizzz
Upon seeing this, HB more determine to talk to MIL to understand the whole situation and the whole thing flare up by MIL. HB got angry too when MIL got defensive and started yelling and scolding..
I know these next few days, my maid life with my MIL at home will be tough...I really dunno how to help her. somemore my hb has quarrel so badly with MIL. ALl I can do is ask my maid to try her best to do things, and my MIL will be angry, she just have to endure.
My only concern is I have young children at home, I just dun wan the maid to get so stress up and turn to harm my kids...
Any comment for me.. if there is anything I should have done?
Ytd is a stressful day/night. my hb has a big quarrel with MIL over maid issue.
All started... maid has some money from CNY angbao, she decide to call home (never call for 3 mth already). We have calculated and ask her to keep $20 for phone card, then last weekend, when we wanna bring her to make the purchase she told, MIL took $10 away from her to buy clothes pegs!!
HB is angry MIL never told us she took away the $10 ( MIL know we will disagree with her, tt y she never inform), then one thing to another, a recent water heater spoil ( used for more than 10yrs) MIL blame it's maid who spoil it. HB told her becos it's wear and tear, she insist we are covering up for the maid and siding the maid.
I was hiding in the room feeding #2 the whole time..dun wan MIL to think we all against her if I join in. I ask maid to go into hiding as well.
FIL agree that MIL should not forece maid to come out with $10 with clothes peg, if Maid has accidentally drop clothes out of the window, can ask hr to go down pick up but not force her to buy, if maid refuse to go down to pick up then can scold her.
$10 for clothes peg also a bit too much rite?
Maid when to make call finally ytd afternoon, we gave her another $10 first and she came back red-eyed, told me she made lotsa of mistake and my MIL dun like her, she ask me to transfer her out!!? Then for the rest of the whole evening, she always red-eyed and eye abit swollen.. haizzz
Upon seeing this, HB more determine to talk to MIL to understand the whole situation and the whole thing flare up by MIL. HB got angry too when MIL got defensive and started yelling and scolding..
I know these next few days, my maid life with my MIL at home will be tough...I really dunno how to help her. somemore my hb has quarrel so badly with MIL. ALl I can do is ask my maid to try her best to do things, and my MIL will be angry, she just have to endure.
My only concern is I have young children at home, I just dun wan the maid to get so stress up and turn to harm my kids...
Any comment for me.. if there is anything I should have done?
Hi Cookie
I do not know if your MIL can be reasoned with. However, getting your maid to pay for stuff that she's spoilt is not legal. *correct me if I'm wrong for those mummies that knows*. Do caution your MIL or use scenarios to illustrate : if you as an employee spoil an item in the company, are you expected to pay? Knowing how little their pay is, how do you expect them to pay? And if you do give your maid that pressure, they'll probably worry more and mis-handle things more. btw, I've gone through the same experience as your MIL ... to the extent that I want to fine her for spoiling stuff, n it's stuff that we've used for so long and nothing ever happens but do watch out for your MIL.... sometimes in anger, she may get physical and that's where she (or whoever that does it) may run into serious problem. There was a mother who confessed that she got jailed for hitting her helper and the helper sued her ... it's just not worth it.
.ky.
I do not know if your MIL can be reasoned with. However, getting your maid to pay for stuff that she's spoilt is not legal. *correct me if I'm wrong for those mummies that knows*. Do caution your MIL or use scenarios to illustrate : if you as an employee spoil an item in the company, are you expected to pay? Knowing how little their pay is, how do you expect them to pay? And if you do give your maid that pressure, they'll probably worry more and mis-handle things more. btw, I've gone through the same experience as your MIL ... to the extent that I want to fine her for spoiling stuff, n it's stuff that we've used for so long and nothing ever happens but do watch out for your MIL.... sometimes in anger, she may get physical and that's where she (or whoever that does it) may run into serious problem. There was a mother who confessed that she got jailed for hitting her helper and the helper sued her ... it's just not worth it.
.ky.
cookie - i used to get stuck in such predicaments like you... MIL somehow will tink tat we are siding the maid and they do not understand why we are so nice to the maid,resulting in jealousy. My maid has also felt upset before about hw MIl treats her but wat HB and i will do is talk to her and assure her tat we are her employer and tat we are pleased wf her work. i guess these words are the comfort tat she needs... and aft we comfort her, we will speak to MIL bout how she shld not do tis n tat. of cos she will be mad wf us, but i always feel tat my child comes first and i want my maid to be happie working wf us and caring for our child. other matters are not our priority.having an emotionally upset maid is the last i want...so my inlaws will just have to co-operate. thankfully, aft talks and HB's reasonings, things are fine now and my maid is stil happie working wf us...
as for the $10 taken fr ur maid, i tink its reali too much... ur MIL abit haywire lei..
as for the $10 taken fr ur maid, i tink its reali too much... ur MIL abit haywire lei..
sophia_rebekah
New Member
cookie
sounds tricky the situation, esp when MIL is involved. $10 for clothes pegs like quite funny leh, those items don't cost that much unless your MIL plans to replace every single one at home. In order to avoid more conflict b/w you and MIL, I would rather tell the maid that whenever MIL forces the maid to pay for something and had taken the money, to let you know and you re-imburse her back the money taken after subtlely confirming that your MIL did take the money from her?
In times like this, I think it might help if you pep talk to your helper more and allow her to talk during sessions with you so as to prevent any mental meltdown. Being so far away from their family and not having much friends (who are reliable and mature) will make them very isolated and more prone to mental meltdown.
sounds tricky the situation, esp when MIL is involved. $10 for clothes pegs like quite funny leh, those items don't cost that much unless your MIL plans to replace every single one at home. In order to avoid more conflict b/w you and MIL, I would rather tell the maid that whenever MIL forces the maid to pay for something and had taken the money, to let you know and you re-imburse her back the money taken after subtlely confirming that your MIL did take the money from her?
In times like this, I think it might help if you pep talk to your helper more and allow her to talk during sessions with you so as to prevent any mental meltdown. Being so far away from their family and not having much friends (who are reliable and mature) will make them very isolated and more prone to mental meltdown.
cookie - oh my...my! 10 bucks for a packets of peg. i agreed with u...ur MIL seems unreasonable and yup..at the end of the day..you just dun want to be sandwich in between. maybe u shld have just given the maid 10 bucks back and pretend nothing happens. maybe tat will have prevent any argument. did the maid in anyway step onto your MIL's toes?
mamapanda - i actually buy for my maid her toiletries including sanitary pads, bath soaps, toothbrushes and toothpaste etc. agency told us that we need to provide them all these stuffs. in fact i think she knows her rights...which is why she ask me for a new tooth brush and toothpaste last time round. all this actually i am ok and not calculative at all. haiz..guess i have to talk to my hb tonight..make sure he apologise to me. hahaa...
mamapanda - i actually buy for my maid her toiletries including sanitary pads, bath soaps, toothbrushes and toothpaste etc. agency told us that we need to provide them all these stuffs. in fact i think she knows her rights...which is why she ask me for a new tooth brush and toothpaste last time round. all this actually i am ok and not calculative at all. haiz..guess i have to talk to my hb tonight..make sure he apologise to me. hahaa...
mummies
so stressed today. came to office and got meeting at 8.30 and still need to do slides. lucky all over now. trying to catch up with the posts.
seems like a lot of talk on maids. my mum's agent found a maid for us. 33 years old. my mum will go evaluate tonight. hopefully can work out and i can change my maid soon.
cookie
sounds like your MIL doesnt like the maid and is just difficult or is she like this most of the time?
maybe shd establish the fact with your mil that you and your hb are the rightful employers and shd be the ones making decisions regarding the maid. it is a headache when they suddenly want to go back so if u r pleased with her performance so far, think need to draw the line somewhere with your MIL.
so stressed today. came to office and got meeting at 8.30 and still need to do slides. lucky all over now. trying to catch up with the posts.
seems like a lot of talk on maids. my mum's agent found a maid for us. 33 years old. my mum will go evaluate tonight. hopefully can work out and i can change my maid soon.
cookie
sounds like your MIL doesnt like the maid and is just difficult or is she like this most of the time?
maybe shd establish the fact with your mil that you and your hb are the rightful employers and shd be the ones making decisions regarding the maid. it is a headache when they suddenly want to go back so if u r pleased with her performance so far, think need to draw the line somewhere with your MIL.
mummies
yesterday someting quite terrible happened but lucky jh was alright. he went to put his finger into the fan and it was turning at the highest speed. i heard this loud sound and when i turned ard, he was looking at me and then i realised what happened and he started crying. when i checked his finger, all i found was dirt. so i think shd be ok right? i really hope no broken bones etc. wd feel so bad. din expect him to do this when all along he never tried to do this.
yesterday someting quite terrible happened but lucky jh was alright. he went to put his finger into the fan and it was turning at the highest speed. i heard this loud sound and when i turned ard, he was looking at me and then i realised what happened and he started crying. when i checked his finger, all i found was dirt. so i think shd be ok right? i really hope no broken bones etc. wd feel so bad. din expect him to do this when all along he never tried to do this.
sophia_rebekah
New Member
SY
Oh dear....hope JH is really alright. If his finger is swollen and he can't move the particular finger that was hurt, likely the bones in the finger was broken and should bring to A&E immediately. If he's still happily playing and the fingers all can move, then should be alright but have to warn him not to do it again. Best to get those netted fan covers to prevent him sticking his fingers in.
Oh dear....hope JH is really alright. If his finger is swollen and he can't move the particular finger that was hurt, likely the bones in the finger was broken and should bring to A&E immediately. If he's still happily playing and the fingers all can move, then should be alright but have to warn him not to do it again. Best to get those netted fan covers to prevent him sticking his fingers in.
mamachan
we use to have those nets but we took it off cos he never showed interest in playing with the fans. yesterday was the first time he ever attempted that. he is still using his finger to do things and this morning i checked and doesn't seem to be bruised. when i asked him whether there's pain, he said no. so shd be ok bah.
we use to have those nets but we took it off cos he never showed interest in playing with the fans. yesterday was the first time he ever attempted that. he is still using his finger to do things and this morning i checked and doesn't seem to be bruised. when i asked him whether there's pain, he said no. so shd be ok bah.
sophia_rebekah
New Member
sy
I think prevention is always better than cure, whether if our toddlers show interest in playing with the fans or not. Sometimes they get the "Eureka" moment and decide to do things out of the blue and we can never pre-empt that except to child-proof as many places as possible at home. I think it's wiser and safer to leave the fan nets on bah....it's not much of a hassle and definitely won't affect the wind/breeze from the fan.
I think prevention is always better than cure, whether if our toddlers show interest in playing with the fans or not. Sometimes they get the "Eureka" moment and decide to do things out of the blue and we can never pre-empt that except to child-proof as many places as possible at home. I think it's wiser and safer to leave the fan nets on bah....it's not much of a hassle and definitely won't affect the wind/breeze from the fan.
SY,
scary...thk goodness he's alright. this is also one of the things i'm soo afraid will happen to meg. she also all along hasn't attempted sticking her finger in but we make sure we always watch her when the fan is on. Anyway, the fan died on us yesterday and we planning to install a ceiling fan in the hall that comes with light type, cos our hall light also kinda cracked...:S
scary...thk goodness he's alright. this is also one of the things i'm soo afraid will happen to meg. she also all along hasn't attempted sticking her finger in but we make sure we always watch her when the fan is on. Anyway, the fan died on us yesterday and we planning to install a ceiling fan in the hall that comes with light type, cos our hall light also kinda cracked...:S
RE: Maids
Hiaz! With maids around, headache! No maids also headache! My fil maid is with us for almost 9 mths and it seems like she is still working under "probation" cos I need to tell her wat to do daily. She is very forgetful and chor lor. ALready broke 1 window glass, 1 display cabinet (on chu er somemore!) and 2 days ago broke my new window grille lock. Really took us to our limits. Now we gave her verbal warning that if she spoil anymore stuffs at home, we will "deduct" her pay. Hopefully it will serve as a reminder to her.
Cookie,
Can understand ur MIL's frustrations, cos whole day with maid and 2 bbs. If maid keeps making same mistakes, u sure get pek chek too, esp if it concerns ur little ones.
Hiaz! With maids around, headache! No maids also headache! My fil maid is with us for almost 9 mths and it seems like she is still working under "probation" cos I need to tell her wat to do daily. She is very forgetful and chor lor. ALready broke 1 window glass, 1 display cabinet (on chu er somemore!) and 2 days ago broke my new window grille lock. Really took us to our limits. Now we gave her verbal warning that if she spoil anymore stuffs at home, we will "deduct" her pay. Hopefully it will serve as a reminder to her.
Cookie,
Can understand ur MIL's frustrations, cos whole day with maid and 2 bbs. If maid keeps making same mistakes, u sure get pek chek too, esp if it concerns ur little ones.
slinky
Active Member
cookie
Hmm.. $10 for clothes peg is really too much. In any case, I don't collect anything from my maid even if she broke the things. i've grown up with maids and through the years, different maids have broken/lost many things before but my parents never "collect" anything from them before. Even my maid also broke my room's light which costed us >$100, I also didn't ask her to buy a new one to replace it. We just went to ikea and bought the cheap $15 paper ball to replace the broken glass ball. They earn only $300/month. Aksing them to pay for things they broke (esp if its an accident) is too much. Imagine ur boss asking u to pay 1/2 of your salary for something u broke accidentally.
Hmm.. $10 for clothes peg is really too much. In any case, I don't collect anything from my maid even if she broke the things. i've grown up with maids and through the years, different maids have broken/lost many things before but my parents never "collect" anything from them before. Even my maid also broke my room's light which costed us >$100, I also didn't ask her to buy a new one to replace it. We just went to ikea and bought the cheap $15 paper ball to replace the broken glass ball. They earn only $300/month. Aksing them to pay for things they broke (esp if its an accident) is too much. Imagine ur boss asking u to pay 1/2 of your salary for something u broke accidentally.
CL,
How do u find foto-U svcs? How much is their pkg for 2 kids? Which photographer would u recommend?
SY,
I m stll using the net for the fans at home. Very scared my itchy fingers E will explore the blades. Now he likes to use those toy tools like screwdriver and pliers and go around the hse "fixing & repairing" things like a handyman.
How do u find foto-U svcs? How much is their pkg for 2 kids? Which photographer would u recommend?
SY,
I m stll using the net for the fans at home. Very scared my itchy fingers E will explore the blades. Now he likes to use those toy tools like screwdriver and pliers and go around the hse "fixing & repairing" things like a handyman.
Mamapanda,
Yes, it sounds very unreasonable to ask them to pay for the things they broke. We resort to using this method to "frighten" her cos if not, she will not treat our hse things properly. Imagine I ask her to clean something, and she will break it cos she is not attentive. We warn her to serve as a reminder. Hopefully it will remind her to be more careful. Dun think we will eventually deduct from her salary la. Unless she goes on the "breaking spree"!
Yes, it sounds very unreasonable to ask them to pay for the things they broke. We resort to using this method to "frighten" her cos if not, she will not treat our hse things properly. Imagine I ask her to clean something, and she will break it cos she is not attentive. We warn her to serve as a reminder. Hopefully it will remind her to be more careful. Dun think we will eventually deduct from her salary la. Unless she goes on the "breaking spree"!
little_pony
Active Member
Wenyl,
I took David which SEp03bride and God's child uses. Esther too. I like his way of playing with the kids while taking pics so the kids are both at ease with him. SGD 258. for max 2 hours service , all return in CD , 1 makeup and 3 8 R.
I took David which SEp03bride and God's child uses. Esther too. I like his way of playing with the kids while taking pics so the kids are both at ease with him. SGD 258. for max 2 hours service , all return in CD , 1 makeup and 3 8 R.
re maid paying for stuff they spoil
this is one reason why i dun ever use expensive stuff when it is the maid who will be handling it often. in 2 years that she is here, 3 fans have been spoilt. i have never seen fans spoil so fast and we think it is the way she handled them when she clean and fix it back. when hb wanted to buy an expensive fan, i told him not to bother cos when maids use things they tend to spoil faster.
wenyl
your maid really broke a lot of things. sometimes must scare them or else they will not be carful. last time my fren told me her maid manage to break the mop. dunno how much strength she used to clean the floor man
yeah, JH seldom so itchy hand one. think these few weeks when he was sick, he really became very naughty.
sigh he still not recovered. my neighbour suspect the construction may have something to do with all these sickness cos a lot of kids in my block sick.
this is one reason why i dun ever use expensive stuff when it is the maid who will be handling it often. in 2 years that she is here, 3 fans have been spoilt. i have never seen fans spoil so fast and we think it is the way she handled them when she clean and fix it back. when hb wanted to buy an expensive fan, i told him not to bother cos when maids use things they tend to spoil faster.
wenyl
your maid really broke a lot of things. sometimes must scare them or else they will not be carful. last time my fren told me her maid manage to break the mop. dunno how much strength she used to clean the floor man
yeah, JH seldom so itchy hand one. think these few weeks when he was sick, he really became very naughty.
sigh he still not recovered. my neighbour suspect the construction may have something to do with all these sickness cos a lot of kids in my block sick.
little_pony
Active Member
Wenyl
Hmm what was your maid doing when she broke all those stuff ? Does not seems so easily broken leh
Hmm what was your maid doing when she broke all those stuff ? Does not seems so easily broken leh
hi SY ... they are in their terrific twos mah ... don't consider that naughty. They are just testing their boundaries.
I'm also refraining from spending much on good stuff while she's around. imagine she can wash my curtains till they've teared ... cow's strength. I intend to change them after she's gone.
SSF .. if u start paying for them stuff, u'll realize the usage of these things go up. Eg, I used to share peanut butter & coffee powder with my helper, and I realize they are consumed very fast, so now I buy her share, and for toiletries, she paid on her own, coz I realize it's the same. N anyway, she can go n buy the brand that she wants n not constraint by the budget that you've set.
btw, my helper just found out that her hubby's cheated on her ... sorry, so many stories on her today. Feel sad for her and yet I've warned her many many many times and yet she jumped right into it.
.ky.
I'm also refraining from spending much on good stuff while she's around. imagine she can wash my curtains till they've teared ... cow's strength. I intend to change them after she's gone.
SSF .. if u start paying for them stuff, u'll realize the usage of these things go up. Eg, I used to share peanut butter & coffee powder with my helper, and I realize they are consumed very fast, so now I buy her share, and for toiletries, she paid on her own, coz I realize it's the same. N anyway, she can go n buy the brand that she wants n not constraint by the budget that you've set.
btw, my helper just found out that her hubby's cheated on her ... sorry, so many stories on her today. Feel sad for her and yet I've warned her many many many times and yet she jumped right into it.
.ky.
mashybrainz
New Member
wah, not ard 1 day and so many posts already.
My whole family is sick. All coughing and having sore throats. sigh. and we're going for the cruise this wed. hope we recover by then.
Cookie
Wah, your MIL is one of a kind. Hhaha, better watch her, she might become one of those being charged for abusing maids. Will she? And who knows what your MIL does to her in the day when they're alone leh. Better warn her the consequences before things get out of hand. Ok, here's paranoid me speaking again.
$10 for clothes peg is really too much. She's getting branded clothes pegs?
ky
SO sad for your maid. She works so hard for the family and her hb cheated on her!
Actually heard it's not uncommon. The men used the money that the maids remitted to take care of the mistresses. So poor thing. That's why they shouldn't remit everything. Should keep abit for themselves.
My whole family is sick. All coughing and having sore throats. sigh. and we're going for the cruise this wed. hope we recover by then.
Cookie
Wah, your MIL is one of a kind. Hhaha, better watch her, she might become one of those being charged for abusing maids. Will she? And who knows what your MIL does to her in the day when they're alone leh. Better warn her the consequences before things get out of hand. Ok, here's paranoid me speaking again.
$10 for clothes peg is really too much. She's getting branded clothes pegs?
ky
SO sad for your maid. She works so hard for the family and her hb cheated on her!
Actually heard it's not uncommon. The men used the money that the maids remitted to take care of the mistresses. So poor thing. That's why they shouldn't remit everything. Should keep abit for themselves.
sophia_rebekah
New Member
ky/sy
Haha, I think my maid "ho mia" (Hokkien). She's a coffee drinker, so I'll buy those 3 in 1 coffee in sachets for her. My hb and I don't drink coffee one. But if it helps her be more alert and awake when doing her work and looking out for D in the day, I don't mind buying such things for her or treats once in a while. But she very thrifty, one coffee sachet can drink over 2 days!! Think she makes her coffee in expresso style, strong but little quantity.
Haha, I think my maid "ho mia" (Hokkien). She's a coffee drinker, so I'll buy those 3 in 1 coffee in sachets for her. My hb and I don't drink coffee one. But if it helps her be more alert and awake when doing her work and looking out for D in the day, I don't mind buying such things for her or treats once in a while. But she very thrifty, one coffee sachet can drink over 2 days!! Think she makes her coffee in expresso style, strong but little quantity.
sophia_rebekah
New Member
wenyl
wow, your helper really alot of strength!! Break glass window and cabinet window and lock grilles? How does she do it?? Those are the hardiest items around.
SY
Haha, actually, I broke a mop before when mopping the floor and before I had maid. I really mop the floors hard. My hb was laughing at me even until it happened to him too =P
wow, your helper really alot of strength!! Break glass window and cabinet window and lock grilles? How does she do it?? Those are the hardiest items around.
SY
Haha, actually, I broke a mop before when mopping the floor and before I had maid. I really mop the floors hard. My hb was laughing at me even until it happened to him too =P
mashy
hope your family recovers before the cruise!!
mamachan
my maid used to take coffee also until she gets headaches and the doc told her no more. so she got banned. she also drinks all my tea etc but actually also got caffiene but told her many times cannot take but she still take.
mummies
that day a bit pissed with my mil. my second one not even born yet and my SIL not even preggy yet and she told me to pack all the clothes for my SIL next time..dunno why she so gan cheong when my SIL not even preggy yet. plus most of the bb clothes that i have were actually bought by my mum. she asked me whether i kept all the old clothes and i told her yes. then she said must give bb to wear. then told me after that to pack everything to give to my SIL...duh..what if i have #3?
hope your family recovers before the cruise!!
mamachan
my maid used to take coffee also until she gets headaches and the doc told her no more. so she got banned. she also drinks all my tea etc but actually also got caffiene but told her many times cannot take but she still take.
mummies
that day a bit pissed with my mil. my second one not even born yet and my SIL not even preggy yet and she told me to pack all the clothes for my SIL next time..dunno why she so gan cheong when my SIL not even preggy yet. plus most of the bb clothes that i have were actually bought by my mum. she asked me whether i kept all the old clothes and i told her yes. then she said must give bb to wear. then told me after that to pack everything to give to my SIL...duh..what if i have #3?
wenyl - haha did you hire an incredible hulk or wat? i was grinning when i read thru the list of broken items. btw, my maid also broke my mop and my mum's vase before. haha..but no charge la. btw, i think its a good thg that you impose tat penalty to warn her...just to scare her or rather keep her on her toes. or else she will carry on being butterfingers...breaking everythg now and then.
sy - i hope jh is ok now. heart pain ya. just monitor a few days la. i think he shld be fine.
sy - i hope jh is ok now. heart pain ya. just monitor a few days la. i think he shld be fine.
SY,
wah...i would be angry too lor. if the clothes are bought by ourselves or our mums, we have the right to decide whether to pass on or not! So far I only passed to my SIL clothes that were passed to me by MIL's side. Those that I bot or frens gave me, i kept. Cos abit heartpain to pass on, knowing that when the maid handwashes the clothes, they will be destroyed.
Previously I loan SIL my maternity clothes too. When they were returned, the tops were stretched and now I can't wear them already. So...lesson learnt.
wah...i would be angry too lor. if the clothes are bought by ourselves or our mums, we have the right to decide whether to pass on or not! So far I only passed to my SIL clothes that were passed to me by MIL's side. Those that I bot or frens gave me, i kept. Cos abit heartpain to pass on, knowing that when the maid handwashes the clothes, they will be destroyed.
Previously I loan SIL my maternity clothes too. When they were returned, the tops were stretched and now I can't wear them already. So...lesson learnt.
SSF
yeah i felt a bit bad that i din have my eye on him at that moment. he said he was going to get a book and i just let him go and get...the next min i heard this loud sound...when i turned ard he was giving me this stunned look. lucky he was alright. Thank God for that really.
Tracy
yeah i know what u mean. when u give something away, next time dunno what condition u get it back right...i told my hb his mum really know how to plan for his sis. not even pregnant and asking for the bb clothes already. plus i have a sis too. who knows, maybe my sis faster leh? such things u never know one right....
anyway i already decide that i will just pass her what they bought and maybe some of what i bought. but that's abt it. i hope to have one more kid actually. hee
yeah i felt a bit bad that i din have my eye on him at that moment. he said he was going to get a book and i just let him go and get...the next min i heard this loud sound...when i turned ard he was giving me this stunned look. lucky he was alright. Thank God for that really.
Tracy
yeah i know what u mean. when u give something away, next time dunno what condition u get it back right...i told my hb his mum really know how to plan for his sis. not even pregnant and asking for the bb clothes already. plus i have a sis too. who knows, maybe my sis faster leh? such things u never know one right....
anyway i already decide that i will just pass her what they bought and maybe some of what i bought. but that's abt it. i hope to have one more kid actually. hee
sy - wow..one more kid eh.hee..then tell her of ur plans lor. for me, no more..so i actually passed all the NB clothes including the nice or even new ones to my cousin. my only headache is my maternity wears. no one seems to be interested in used maternity wear. throwing away is wasted as i spend so much buying it and giving away is so heart pain.
mashybrainz
New Member
SY
#3? Hahha, so fast already thinking of #3. Hahahah. Ai yah, sometimes when they talk, it doesn't go thru to their brains. I also didn't pass the clothes to my SIL until I'm pretty sure we won't be having babies at the same time. Anyway, I took it as a chance to clear my storeroom. It's my BIL who's a bit dense. He thinks we're giving them the stuff for good and didn't realise they've to pass it back to me when i've #2. I also sorted the stuff and kept the stuff that I wanna keep as remembrance.
#3? Hahha, so fast already thinking of #3. Hahahah. Ai yah, sometimes when they talk, it doesn't go thru to their brains. I also didn't pass the clothes to my SIL until I'm pretty sure we won't be having babies at the same time. Anyway, I took it as a chance to clear my storeroom. It's my BIL who's a bit dense. He thinks we're giving them the stuff for good and didn't realise they've to pass it back to me when i've #2. I also sorted the stuff and kept the stuff that I wanna keep as remembrance.
Thanks all mummies
This is not the first time MIL ask maid to pay for stuff. There was once my maid accidentially pack her fork and spoon in the tabao box and throw away. that pair is only $0.80 when I bought for her.
I started out tell my maid, cannot be so careless if she do it again she has pay. But My MIL make a big fuss about flair up again and the next day maid come to us for her $10 to buy stuff. my hb was super angry too and bang table with MIL but MIl went ahead to use the $10.00 to buy a pair of new fork and spoon cost about $2++, a pair new slipper and pad for maid and get her to pay.. even claim that she has to top up a few cents.
I ask MIL why buy such expensive cultery? I only spend $0.80/pair? it's hard earn $$ but MIL claim it's the cheapest there already...
Tt's why MIL dun dare to let us know she took maid $10 again for clothes peg this time round.
Anyway.. ytd before MIL arrive I already talk to maid. told her.. making mistake is fine most imptly must learn the lesson and not make same mistake in future, told her tho sometimes she also get scolding from me but that doesnt means I dun like her, I just wan to train her better to get lesser scolding. Also assured her that hb and I are happy with her perfomrance and just remind again never never argue or talk back to MIL.
I find this is very sensitive area, I cannot let maid to lose respect for MIL as well becos she still has to obey MIL instruction. I cannot allow maid to work only instruction from mdm and sir and ignore MIL. Lotsa prob like this too.
I think maid also suffer "yuan wang" from MIL, MIL and maid sometimes has the different story, perhaps they have comuuniocation problem, they dun understand each other well. When MIL say maid did this wrong.. maid keep denying saying she is not the one... so end up MIL get more angry.
Tongiht I will have to spend time counsel maid again hope she dun so depress..haizzz
Last nite I really have a very strong urge to rush out and reason with my MIL, tell her it's hard earn money... but I hold myself back, I dunno what happen if I come in also, think Wu yao Ke Jiu... esp as a DIL already I'm not her fav person. Even I was not around the whole quarrel.. still she ignore me and give me side glance when I talk to her about having dinner.
Thanks for all your advice, I will take note.
KY
Thanks for your reminder.. perhaps I need to go check out about the paying back part.
My MIL is a very self centered person, she will not listen to us let alone to reason with. Unless I find evidence to show her.
My FIL also told mIL if maid complaint to embassy, she may get it, she is not suppose to make her pay.
This is not the first time MIL ask maid to pay for stuff. There was once my maid accidentially pack her fork and spoon in the tabao box and throw away. that pair is only $0.80 when I bought for her.
I started out tell my maid, cannot be so careless if she do it again she has pay. But My MIL make a big fuss about flair up again and the next day maid come to us for her $10 to buy stuff. my hb was super angry too and bang table with MIL but MIl went ahead to use the $10.00 to buy a pair of new fork and spoon cost about $2++, a pair new slipper and pad for maid and get her to pay.. even claim that she has to top up a few cents.
I ask MIL why buy such expensive cultery? I only spend $0.80/pair? it's hard earn $$ but MIL claim it's the cheapest there already...
Tt's why MIL dun dare to let us know she took maid $10 again for clothes peg this time round.
Anyway.. ytd before MIL arrive I already talk to maid. told her.. making mistake is fine most imptly must learn the lesson and not make same mistake in future, told her tho sometimes she also get scolding from me but that doesnt means I dun like her, I just wan to train her better to get lesser scolding. Also assured her that hb and I are happy with her perfomrance and just remind again never never argue or talk back to MIL.
I find this is very sensitive area, I cannot let maid to lose respect for MIL as well becos she still has to obey MIL instruction. I cannot allow maid to work only instruction from mdm and sir and ignore MIL. Lotsa prob like this too.
I think maid also suffer "yuan wang" from MIL, MIL and maid sometimes has the different story, perhaps they have comuuniocation problem, they dun understand each other well. When MIL say maid did this wrong.. maid keep denying saying she is not the one... so end up MIL get more angry.
Tongiht I will have to spend time counsel maid again hope she dun so depress..haizzz
Last nite I really have a very strong urge to rush out and reason with my MIL, tell her it's hard earn money... but I hold myself back, I dunno what happen if I come in also, think Wu yao Ke Jiu... esp as a DIL already I'm not her fav person. Even I was not around the whole quarrel.. still she ignore me and give me side glance when I talk to her about having dinner.
Thanks for all your advice, I will take note.
KY
Thanks for your reminder.. perhaps I need to go check out about the paying back part.
My MIL is a very self centered person, she will not listen to us let alone to reason with. Unless I find evidence to show her.
My FIL also told mIL if maid complaint to embassy, she may get it, she is not suppose to make her pay.
SY
I'm thinking maybe your SIL is indeed preg.. just that they pantang dun wan to say...
Btw.. u know your bb gender already? maybe I miss it.
Oh just tell them u are keeping for #2 lor.
My #2 sometimes wear #1 clothes..hahaha.. but he still looks very boy tho in Pink la.
But I jokingly say in front of my MIL ( cos she choose what he wear)... aiyo why you wear jie jie clothes ah.. so girly so girly!!
*very noti*
I'm thinking maybe your SIL is indeed preg.. just that they pantang dun wan to say...
Btw.. u know your bb gender already? maybe I miss it.
Oh just tell them u are keeping for #2 lor.
My #2 sometimes wear #1 clothes..hahaha.. but he still looks very boy tho in Pink la.
But I jokingly say in front of my MIL ( cos she choose what he wear)... aiyo why you wear jie jie clothes ah.. so girly so girly!!
*very noti*Hello mummies,
SY,
I think maybe your MIL thought you are stopping after #2, like most couples nowadays. That's why ask you to pass to SIL. I don't think she meant anything bad.
cookie,
Dunno what to say about your MIL... I will really vomit blood if my MIL is like her. You have to ask your HB to tell your MIL to be reasonable to your maid, just in case your maid goes berserk and takes out her anger at your kids.
RE. Gap Spree
Pls PM me your orders ASAP. I need to place orders by 24th Feb. There's 10% discount.
SY,
I think maybe your MIL thought you are stopping after #2, like most couples nowadays. That's why ask you to pass to SIL. I don't think she meant anything bad.
cookie,
Dunno what to say about your MIL... I will really vomit blood if my MIL is like her. You have to ask your HB to tell your MIL to be reasonable to your maid, just in case your maid goes berserk and takes out her anger at your kids.
RE. Gap Spree
Pls PM me your orders ASAP. I need to place orders by 24th Feb. There's 10% discount.
CL
Aden is always such a sweet boy...is Charmaine touched...heehee
SY
Oh poor JH. Have to be extremely careful cos they are getting very curious now, will try anything when they suddenly feel like. We have make sure everything is child proof at home...windows are locked at all times, kitchen door is always close, fan is off when we are not within sight etc.
Cookie
My gfren also have such prob with her MIL. 2 of her maids have requested to go back as they can't tahan her MIL. I guess is prob cos your MIL feels that the maid knows you and hb are the BOSS...so is a behaviour of insecurity. My fren will use "scare tactic" once a while on her MIL. Warn her that the maid might throw her and the kids out of the window if she "push" her to the limit. But it works only for a few days and her MIL will be back to her old self again.
Aden is always such a sweet boy...is Charmaine touched...heehee
SY
Oh poor JH. Have to be extremely careful cos they are getting very curious now, will try anything when they suddenly feel like. We have make sure everything is child proof at home...windows are locked at all times, kitchen door is always close, fan is off when we are not within sight etc.
Cookie
My gfren also have such prob with her MIL. 2 of her maids have requested to go back as they can't tahan her MIL. I guess is prob cos your MIL feels that the maid knows you and hb are the BOSS...so is a behaviour of insecurity. My fren will use "scare tactic" once a while on her MIL. Warn her that the maid might throw her and the kids out of the window if she "push" her to the limit. But it works only for a few days and her MIL will be back to her old self again.
Hi mommies
CL
Aden really cute... is your fotoU a package from the forum? I feel like taking one too. I need some family photos! Aden is really sweet to Charmaine too.. it makes you feel so happy when the siblings show some love... at first tabby was so jealous of didi right? now she will spont go and hug and kiss him and play with him. Sometimes even offer toys to him.. of course sometimes just snatch stuff away from him and be a big bully! But didi, now know how to pull hair.. haha.. so tabby will get her hair pulled if she's not careful.. haha
RE: maids
I mentioned b4 i will pay for their basic necessities unless they want to choose brands, their food like jam/ peanut butter and other biscuits i usually will buy.. sometimes, in my house i find it difficult to finish some biscuits and stuff, i will pass to her and ask her to eat cos otherwise wasted anyways, so she gets a treat. Her shopping, she does herself and remittance she does herself on her offday cos i'm too busy to get involved... i give her an off day abt once a month, she doesn't go for long so i just let her cos i got no time to go queue and figure out the remittance thing. She does it at lucky plaza cos cheaper admin charges i think. For us, we stay in town so convenient for her.. once i let her go on off day and ask her to come back by 5pm, she came back by 3pm cos she say she dunno where to go.
We also don't make her pay for broken stuff.. so far she's quite good. my other maids, have broken tons of stuff, if too much i also use scare tactic and say very $$ and if u break something again, will make u pay! then they'll be more careful.
Cookie,
maybe just tell your maid in front of MIL that from now on no more money for the her to keep on hand, if want phone card, have to get the phonecard from you, no cash for herself to buy. If your MIL want to get $$ from her, easy for ur maid to say no cash on hand have to ask madam, so ur mil know that it will get back to you or your hb.. then u can replace the broken item for ur MIL so she dun overcharge the maid.
For me, my maids on my mom's side and mine, will take orders from both my mom and me. But i will seldom scold my mom's maid, usually will tell my mom so that my mom can do the scolding. I will ask her to help me carry stuff or when cooking for us, tell her how we prefer the thing when its cooked. I will usu. only say once, if she dun listen, i just tell my mom to tell her again lor.. for my maid, she knows she needs to listen to my mom, in fact she knows my mom super fussy so will chase her to clean stuff extra well..
CL
Aden really cute... is your fotoU a package from the forum? I feel like taking one too. I need some family photos! Aden is really sweet to Charmaine too.. it makes you feel so happy when the siblings show some love... at first tabby was so jealous of didi right? now she will spont go and hug and kiss him and play with him. Sometimes even offer toys to him.. of course sometimes just snatch stuff away from him and be a big bully! But didi, now know how to pull hair.. haha.. so tabby will get her hair pulled if she's not careful.. haha
RE: maids
I mentioned b4 i will pay for their basic necessities unless they want to choose brands, their food like jam/ peanut butter and other biscuits i usually will buy.. sometimes, in my house i find it difficult to finish some biscuits and stuff, i will pass to her and ask her to eat cos otherwise wasted anyways, so she gets a treat. Her shopping, she does herself and remittance she does herself on her offday cos i'm too busy to get involved... i give her an off day abt once a month, she doesn't go for long so i just let her cos i got no time to go queue and figure out the remittance thing. She does it at lucky plaza cos cheaper admin charges i think. For us, we stay in town so convenient for her.. once i let her go on off day and ask her to come back by 5pm, she came back by 3pm cos she say she dunno where to go.
We also don't make her pay for broken stuff.. so far she's quite good. my other maids, have broken tons of stuff, if too much i also use scare tactic and say very $$ and if u break something again, will make u pay! then they'll be more careful.
Cookie,
maybe just tell your maid in front of MIL that from now on no more money for the her to keep on hand, if want phone card, have to get the phonecard from you, no cash for herself to buy. If your MIL want to get $$ from her, easy for ur maid to say no cash on hand have to ask madam, so ur mil know that it will get back to you or your hb.. then u can replace the broken item for ur MIL so she dun overcharge the maid.
For me, my maids on my mom's side and mine, will take orders from both my mom and me. But i will seldom scold my mom's maid, usually will tell my mom so that my mom can do the scolding. I will ask her to help me carry stuff or when cooking for us, tell her how we prefer the thing when its cooked. I will usu. only say once, if she dun listen, i just tell my mom to tell her again lor.. for my maid, she knows she needs to listen to my mom, in fact she knows my mom super fussy so will chase her to clean stuff extra well..
sy
poor JH, if not swollen think its ok. Better get the fan cover QUICK! RE: MIL, my aunty also asked me just to give all my dd clothes to my cousin cos she's super cheapo and she knows my mom buys me lots of nice stuff.. i dun like to be forced, if i feel like it, i will give, but i also got relatives from my mom's side, so i intend to share some with both sides and keep some for sentimental reasons. Normally i will say ok ok but then don't do anything..
sy, sl
did one of you msn me abt zatiden? it's an antihistamin sometimes 4 runny nose or allergy. As with any meds, long term use unsupervised is not advised, as in u may need to check with PD why the condition is not better, but if its on off use, then its ok. Esp if for allergy, use when flaring up its fine, but if used too often may need stronger meds to control flare ups. My pd advised it sometimes when tabby got runny nose and she's on chormine,and the zaditen helps in between if still runny.
babylon
sounds scary! Maybe u are anemic? Does taking iron tablets help? Take care!!
poor JH, if not swollen think its ok. Better get the fan cover QUICK! RE: MIL, my aunty also asked me just to give all my dd clothes to my cousin cos she's super cheapo and she knows my mom buys me lots of nice stuff.. i dun like to be forced, if i feel like it, i will give, but i also got relatives from my mom's side, so i intend to share some with both sides and keep some for sentimental reasons. Normally i will say ok ok but then don't do anything..
sy, sl
did one of you msn me abt zatiden? it's an antihistamin sometimes 4 runny nose or allergy. As with any meds, long term use unsupervised is not advised, as in u may need to check with PD why the condition is not better, but if its on off use, then its ok. Esp if for allergy, use when flaring up its fine, but if used too often may need stronger meds to control flare ups. My pd advised it sometimes when tabby got runny nose and she's on chormine,and the zaditen helps in between if still runny.
babylon
sounds scary! Maybe u are anemic? Does taking iron tablets help? Take care!!
CL,
Aden is so sweet. ya, when clare cries, ger will also try to soothe her. he was qt funny. yesterday night when she was crying, I ask him to pat her. Then he pat and said "mei mei, dun cry, we reaching home already"... haha.. coz I'll usually say tt to her.
We just started toilet training for him on Saturday. He did very well and only one miss at night when he peed on the floor. He was diaper free the whole day including the visit to my cousin’s place for CNY. On Sunday he had no accident too. But he had 1 accident on Monday morning before school when he pee-ed and poo’ed on the floor. When he was at mum’s place yest, she said he pee-ed twice in the toilet bowl and had 2 accidents. The sweetest part was that he woke up at 11pm tonight to ask to go toilet. It was so sweet that he was trying to control. My boy is a big boy now. Really hope tt he can be trained soon.
Aden is so sweet. ya, when clare cries, ger will also try to soothe her. he was qt funny. yesterday night when she was crying, I ask him to pat her. Then he pat and said "mei mei, dun cry, we reaching home already"... haha.. coz I'll usually say tt to her.
We just started toilet training for him on Saturday. He did very well and only one miss at night when he peed on the floor. He was diaper free the whole day including the visit to my cousin’s place for CNY. On Sunday he had no accident too. But he had 1 accident on Monday morning before school when he pee-ed and poo’ed on the floor. When he was at mum’s place yest, she said he pee-ed twice in the toilet bowl and had 2 accidents. The sweetest part was that he woke up at 11pm tonight to ask to go toilet. It was so sweet that he was trying to control. My boy is a big boy now. Really hope tt he can be trained soon.
cookie - if thgs still dun work out between ur mil and maid. have u ever thought of changing a new maid? all those horror stories abt unhappy maids really scares me. like recently, an indo maid throw the granny down the house. tats also because the granny scolded her. you may want to use this story to scare ur MIL? if there is still no hope, changing a new maid may be a better alternative.
SSF
hee, i dun wan to tell her yet cos my hb not keen on #3. we will only have #3 if we have a gal this time round. if i tell her that i wan to have #3, she sure go and ask my hb and maybe tell us not to have #3. u know what i mean.
mashy
yeah i really like the idea of 3 kids. in fact last time i wanted 4! but think it's too siong esp in terms of time commitment. unless by some miracle my hb wants 4 kids too, then i will think abt it.
cookie
sometimes old folks can be quite petty where maids are concerned. last time my mil will keep telling us to make sure the maid dun eat our stuff etc and that when she comes to our place she want to spot check that the maid dun eat the expensive stuff. my mum will tell her that we treat them nicer so that the maid treat our kids nicer etc. so eventually i dun hear that from my mil anymore.
maybe the problem is also that there's no one that your mil will listen to. that makes it all the harder. will pray for you and hope this mess gets sorted out.
i dun think my sil is pregnant yet. cos she very pantang. she is renovating her new house now and she won't get pregnant until she move house. plus during CNY when the relatives ask, she said they are trying but no news yet. my mil very gan cheong abt her one. if pregnant sure ask for advice one. last time she already ask my mum what tonics to give her when next time she pregnant. not as if she's doing the same for me this time round after asking!
my mil knows i m keeping the clothes for #2. she ask me to pack the clothes after #2 for my sil. my bb not even born yet and tell me these things....
dunno the gender yet. hopefully during detailed scan can tell!
tabbs
hee, like u, i dun like to be forced. if i wan to give, i will give the clothes away lor. my mil also knows that most of the stuff bought by my mum. plus i still have a sis. i won't be surprised if my mil ask me to pass the cot and stroller to my sil next time too!
yup it's me who ask u abt zaditen. my fren's son currently taking it and she wondering whether to continue. she's giving it as a lung tonic and she says it helps her son as he coughed less since taking it. he already finished 2 bottle so she wondering whether to give 3rd bottle. think the doc said it's ok to conitnue but i dun like the idea of giving medicine long term.
hee, i dun wan to tell her yet cos my hb not keen on #3. we will only have #3 if we have a gal this time round. if i tell her that i wan to have #3, she sure go and ask my hb and maybe tell us not to have #3. u know what i mean.
mashy
yeah i really like the idea of 3 kids. in fact last time i wanted 4! but think it's too siong esp in terms of time commitment. unless by some miracle my hb wants 4 kids too, then i will think abt it.
cookie
sometimes old folks can be quite petty where maids are concerned. last time my mil will keep telling us to make sure the maid dun eat our stuff etc and that when she comes to our place she want to spot check that the maid dun eat the expensive stuff. my mum will tell her that we treat them nicer so that the maid treat our kids nicer etc. so eventually i dun hear that from my mil anymore.
maybe the problem is also that there's no one that your mil will listen to. that makes it all the harder. will pray for you and hope this mess gets sorted out.
i dun think my sil is pregnant yet. cos she very pantang. she is renovating her new house now and she won't get pregnant until she move house. plus during CNY when the relatives ask, she said they are trying but no news yet. my mil very gan cheong abt her one. if pregnant sure ask for advice one. last time she already ask my mum what tonics to give her when next time she pregnant. not as if she's doing the same for me this time round after asking!
my mil knows i m keeping the clothes for #2. she ask me to pack the clothes after #2 for my sil. my bb not even born yet and tell me these things....
dunno the gender yet. hopefully during detailed scan can tell!
tabbs
hee, like u, i dun like to be forced. if i wan to give, i will give the clothes away lor. my mil also knows that most of the stuff bought by my mum. plus i still have a sis. i won't be surprised if my mil ask me to pass the cot and stroller to my sil next time too!
yup it's me who ask u abt zaditen. my fren's son currently taking it and she wondering whether to continue. she's giving it as a lung tonic and she says it helps her son as he coughed less since taking it. he already finished 2 bottle so she wondering whether to give 3rd bottle. think the doc said it's ok to conitnue but i dun like the idea of giving medicine long term.
SY,
i totally understand wat you mean man...i planning to keep all the nice clothes and pass to any of my close frens next time. cos i know for sure they will appreciate it. i loan one stroller to my SIL and my MIL immed tot it was our aprica one and she ask if this is the $700 one. i told her no, cos the $700 my gal is still using and it cannot recline flat so not for newborns.
Then i passed SIL a brand new rocker/carrier. my BIL open it up, din know how to fix the handle and jus said its broken. i only knew when i went over and saw the box outside the house and asked MIL. MIL said planning to give karang guni cos spoilt! Hb was sooo angry, said its brand new how can be spoilt. then he took out and demo it. so you see...unappreciative.
my other SIL, when i gave birth to meg she passed me ONE avent 125ml bottle which was yellowed and totally scratched. my fren saw and was appalled by it too. now this SIL is telling me dat she got lots of boys clothes to pass over. i told hb, dun count on it, cos it may be the tattered ones and based on the clothes her boys are wearing now...erm...i tink i buy new ones bah.
somehow between frens, such passing of things are much 'smoother'. between ILs, they ve different expectations from us.
i totally understand wat you mean man...i planning to keep all the nice clothes and pass to any of my close frens next time. cos i know for sure they will appreciate it. i loan one stroller to my SIL and my MIL immed tot it was our aprica one and she ask if this is the $700 one. i told her no, cos the $700 my gal is still using and it cannot recline flat so not for newborns.
Then i passed SIL a brand new rocker/carrier. my BIL open it up, din know how to fix the handle and jus said its broken. i only knew when i went over and saw the box outside the house and asked MIL. MIL said planning to give karang guni cos spoilt! Hb was sooo angry, said its brand new how can be spoilt. then he took out and demo it. so you see...unappreciative.
my other SIL, when i gave birth to meg she passed me ONE avent 125ml bottle which was yellowed and totally scratched. my fren saw and was appalled by it too. now this SIL is telling me dat she got lots of boys clothes to pass over. i told hb, dun count on it, cos it may be the tattered ones and based on the clothes her boys are wearing now...erm...i tink i buy new ones bah.
somehow between frens, such passing of things are much 'smoother'. between ILs, they ve different expectations from us.
tracy
yeah u r right. somehow btwn frens seems easier to pass things ard. my fren also packed all her gal clothes and say will pass some to me if i have a gal. i wanted to pass her some of my boy's clothes if i have a gal but she has 3 nephews so more than enough clothes..
wow your SIL/BIL not very appreciative. and how can pass u a yellow bottle? i m sure she won't let her own kid use the yellow bottle right? i won't give things that i wont' use lor.
yeah u r right. somehow btwn frens seems easier to pass things ard. my fren also packed all her gal clothes and say will pass some to me if i have a gal. i wanted to pass her some of my boy's clothes if i have a gal but she has 3 nephews so more than enough clothes..
wow your SIL/BIL not very appreciative. and how can pass u a yellow bottle? i m sure she won't let her own kid use the yellow bottle right? i won't give things that i wont' use lor.
little_pony
Active Member
SY,
for me ha ha my maternity clothes and baby clothes and stuff has been passing around between my sils. After Charmaine, both got pregnant then when I get preggy again, they pass back to me. Then my other sil oso preggy in 2006 which I can pass her more things after I gave birth in Jan 06. Just keep a few memorable ones. You will still spend on new maternity and clothes one. Aden do not use all Charmaine's stuff anyway. You can just pack some which you think you likely wont reuse and give to her lor. Just please her a bit then not giving at all. Conflicts should be avoided at all times is possible. Ha ha
Tabbiesus,
Remember last year birthday bash Aden got a package from foto-U, so I just top up to get the full package lor. Should look out for their BP. Of if we have a lot of mummies interested, I can try to negotiate with him for a better price. Ha ha thinking of doing a big family one with my hb's family too.
Ha ha didi can retaliate liao. Sometimes I feel the didi always bully jie jie more. And now I can see daddy loves daughter more from my hb, he will scold Aden very loudly if he sees Aden bully jie jie but i told him he should see beyond that because jie jie provoke him first.
Maid issue
Cookie
I think sometimes staying with in laws you will get stuck in between. Maid are sometimes quite pathetic to be facing in laws who dun work almost the whole day. That is why last time I tell you to ask mil to choose. Ha ha if choose wrongly it is her choice mah.
Flo,
Ha ha Charmaine was crying her lungs out so she could not be bothered with Aden. Maybe she would even find him nuisance. Actually Charmaine treats Aden better when he is a baby, now the she is more like the Housekeeper keep ordering him to do this and that. Then of course they fight lah. But she is very good to Cheng's Aidan. Ha ha they realli behave more like siblings.
for me ha ha my maternity clothes and baby clothes and stuff has been passing around between my sils. After Charmaine, both got pregnant then when I get preggy again, they pass back to me. Then my other sil oso preggy in 2006 which I can pass her more things after I gave birth in Jan 06. Just keep a few memorable ones. You will still spend on new maternity and clothes one. Aden do not use all Charmaine's stuff anyway. You can just pack some which you think you likely wont reuse and give to her lor. Just please her a bit then not giving at all. Conflicts should be avoided at all times is possible. Ha ha
Tabbiesus,
Remember last year birthday bash Aden got a package from foto-U, so I just top up to get the full package lor. Should look out for their BP. Of if we have a lot of mummies interested, I can try to negotiate with him for a better price. Ha ha thinking of doing a big family one with my hb's family too.
Ha ha didi can retaliate liao. Sometimes I feel the didi always bully jie jie more. And now I can see daddy loves daughter more from my hb, he will scold Aden very loudly if he sees Aden bully jie jie but i told him he should see beyond that because jie jie provoke him first.
Maid issue
Cookie
I think sometimes staying with in laws you will get stuck in between. Maid are sometimes quite pathetic to be facing in laws who dun work almost the whole day. That is why last time I tell you to ask mil to choose. Ha ha if choose wrongly it is her choice mah.
Flo,
Ha ha Charmaine was crying her lungs out so she could not be bothered with Aden. Maybe she would even find him nuisance. Actually Charmaine treats Aden better when he is a baby, now the she is more like the Housekeeper keep ordering him to do this and that. Then of course they fight lah. But she is very good to Cheng's Aidan. Ha ha they realli behave more like siblings.
mashybrainz
New Member
Re: Brushing Teeth
Borrowed a simple book on brushing teeth (in Chinese) and my boy loves it! He loves it so much that he will happily go and brush his teeth. Even showed me how to brush teeth. Hehehe!
Borrowed a simple book on brushing teeth (in Chinese) and my boy loves it! He loves it so much that he will happily go and brush his teeth. Even showed me how to brush teeth. Hehehe!
CL
yeah that is what i m thinking of doing. just pass a few to them to 'satisfy' my MIL. dun wan her to later keep remembering how i never pass anything to them....actually i dun even mind buying some new clothes for my SIL's kids next time but since she ask for the old ones first then i just give her some when the time comes.
did u do anything to prepare Charmaine for Aden?
yesterday night when i got up to make milk for JH and he was helping me take the bottle and teats out (just to occupy him while i make the milk), then after i finish making the milk, i praised him for helping (not that he helped at all) and he was so proud of himself. i ask him whether he will help me make milk for bb and he said yes. he said heng gor gor will make milk for bb. dunno how true but i really hope jh can accept bb.
yeah that is what i m thinking of doing. just pass a few to them to 'satisfy' my MIL. dun wan her to later keep remembering how i never pass anything to them....actually i dun even mind buying some new clothes for my SIL's kids next time but since she ask for the old ones first then i just give her some when the time comes.
did u do anything to prepare Charmaine for Aden?
yesterday night when i got up to make milk for JH and he was helping me take the bottle and teats out (just to occupy him while i make the milk), then after i finish making the milk, i praised him for helping (not that he helped at all) and he was so proud of himself. i ask him whether he will help me make milk for bb and he said yes. he said heng gor gor will make milk for bb. dunno how true but i really hope jh can accept bb.
cookie
if your mil can't get along with the maid, probably you wanna change another one. i had a similar experience as you. but it's between my mum and the maid.
my mum disliked the maid who took care of my dad. she always found things to complain to us about how bad the maid was, how cunning she was, etc etc. when we were not around, she would shout and scream at the maid for small tiny things which she had done wrong e.g. not cleaning the floor properly or doing the housework slow. and when her plants died, she would accuse the maid of purposely doing things to the plants to make them die.... long long stories. (and sometimes, we don't know whose stories to believe.)
we thought that it's just a phase for my mum to get used to the maid. but, i think the maid was mentally stressed after a period of such 'torture'. she started to vent her anger to my dad... so we started to see bruises, small cuts etc on my dad's body. finally.... after some dramatic episodes, we sent the maid back and get a new one.
not trying to scare you, but if you find that the situation is getting harder for you to handle, it would be good to change another maid. 'cos your mil is the one who spend most of the time with the maid and kids. if she can't get along well with the maid, your kids would indirectly be affected as well.
if your mil can't get along with the maid, probably you wanna change another one. i had a similar experience as you. but it's between my mum and the maid.
my mum disliked the maid who took care of my dad. she always found things to complain to us about how bad the maid was, how cunning she was, etc etc. when we were not around, she would shout and scream at the maid for small tiny things which she had done wrong e.g. not cleaning the floor properly or doing the housework slow. and when her plants died, she would accuse the maid of purposely doing things to the plants to make them die.... long long stories. (and sometimes, we don't know whose stories to believe.)
we thought that it's just a phase for my mum to get used to the maid. but, i think the maid was mentally stressed after a period of such 'torture'. she started to vent her anger to my dad... so we started to see bruises, small cuts etc on my dad's body. finally.... after some dramatic episodes, we sent the maid back and get a new one.
not trying to scare you, but if you find that the situation is getting harder for you to handle, it would be good to change another maid. 'cos your mil is the one who spend most of the time with the maid and kids. if she can't get along well with the maid, your kids would indirectly be affected as well.
SY
i find that when i am very concerned whether my gal will accept the baby when i asked her qn e.g. will you help mummy to take care of bb? will you share this or that with bb next time? my gal would tend to say 'no' or ignore me. Then, when i casually asked her those qn, she would happily answer me 'yes'.
So, i just adopt a 'let it be' way to prepare my gal for the new baby. i would try to let her know about the existence of the baby and let her know the importance of sharing, etc. but, at the mean time, i remind myself not to get too kan cheong about her reaction. think in that way, my gal can adjust better.
and i am glad that few weeks ago, she started to sleep through again. and i hope this means she can cope better with the 'news' on new member joining the family soon.
i find that when i am very concerned whether my gal will accept the baby when i asked her qn e.g. will you help mummy to take care of bb? will you share this or that with bb next time? my gal would tend to say 'no' or ignore me. Then, when i casually asked her those qn, she would happily answer me 'yes'.
So, i just adopt a 'let it be' way to prepare my gal for the new baby. i would try to let her know about the existence of the baby and let her know the importance of sharing, etc. but, at the mean time, i remind myself not to get too kan cheong about her reaction. think in that way, my gal can adjust better.
and i am glad that few weeks ago, she started to sleep through again. and i hope this means she can cope better with the 'news' on new member joining the family soon.