(2002) Any 2002 babies?

[zhen49]

hippo2002,
I have been at home since the birth of my ds2...almost 15 months. dread the thought of going back to work...only incentive is the $$.

longest employment? i quit my first job.....8 years there (including part-time employment).

Gin,
i think i did mention before....first 4 years may be the most critical foundation years, but when the kids go to Primary 1, we may feel that they need the attention and support from us to integrate into mainstream education, then comes Primary 4, we may feel that they need the attention and support to cope with streaming...then Primary 6, cope with PSLE. Then they go Sec 1, need the support to cope with 9 subjects, then come their adolescence temperament, where family support is very important to keep them on track..by the time they 'don't need us', we are too old to go back to work....

 

[zhen49]

hippo2002,
i read about your discussion with other mommies on another thread regarding 'cheeky boys'. a few days back, my boy told me so-and-so who is his classmate, is very cute.

the next day, I promptly explained to him that he cannot go around kissing girls he find cute (cos he will kiss his baby brother and say..."so cute...."). when i asked how she looks like, he eagerly showed me when I fetch him from school.

he even told me not to be shy!

hm...nowadays, kids are getting matured very fast.

 

[rachel_chin]

Compare to you ladies I think I ought to be ashame of myself. Since the birth of my 2nd child I already promise my husband that I will stay at home to be a homemaker. When it is time for me to throw the letter, I chicken out. That drag on till I gave birth to my 3rd child. All this while my children are taken care of by maid w/o supervision from any adults at home. Everyday I have to worry if the maid do anything 'stupid' to my kids. I am getting very sick and tired about feeling this way.

 

[icechoc]

Welcome Rachel!

If your hubby is supportive of you staying at home, what's holding you back?? 3 young ones are the greatest pull factor for you to be home. I want to SAHM but hubby gave many reasons not to. sigh..

 

[lwg26]

fZ,
Ya, you're right. The kids will need us for a long long time. I only juz started to work so will go slow. Thinking if 1-2 yr time when my kids start pri school then maybe consider quit job again. Meanwhile muz start save $$$. Expenses very high and now everything price increase. Inflation rate is rising higher than pay and FD int rate. In fact, I received bank letter that FD rate is going down?! Sigh...

 

[2galswithlove]

Hi dear mummies,

I have been SAHM for coming 5 years. Now my ex company offered a flexi scheme for me to work 3 days a week. I am in a dilemma as to whether to accept or not.... Like most of you, and what hippo 2002 says, SAHM job can be addictive. But thinking of the extra $$ i can call my "own", its rather tempting.

I cant imagine leaving my 2 kids entirely to my maid without any supervision.

 

[zhen49]

hi 2galswithlove,

my ex coy also offered me a flexi scheme last month. I turned them down cos I have not find a suitable alternative childcare for my ds2, but mostly cos I am not ready.

i guess it is good to look into it sooner so that we can contact the coy to see if they still have the offer for us when we are ready.

 

[rachel_chin]

hi Jan,

Money is the biggest reason why I am still holding back. My elder girl is in a "pretty interesting situation". She has an eye problem and has been on treatment since she is 2 years old. Operation is a must for her as per the doc. I am not sure how much the bill will arrive. End last year she finally undergo the surgery. A big rock finally drop off from my heart, though she still have to continue treatment. I know this is no excuse for me to put off my responsibilities as a mother and be there for them. Between both - staying at home to take care of them and having the money ready for the ops, I think having money for the ops and treatment is more impt at that point. Over the past years, even when I am not happy also got to 'tahan'.

You gals are so lucky, your ex company offer part time work arrangements. After my girl's ops, I tried asking for p/t work arrangement temporary, my immediate boss ok with it but my HR gave many reasons and excuse why cannot. Sigh ...

 

[hippo2002]

fz, 2galswithlove

my parents cannot handle my kids. my girls will 'climb over their heads'. I don't want a maid so it's either childcare or student care with grandparents as backup if I return to work

agreed with fz, many considerations from primary school to secondary & by the time they are truely independent, we will be too old to find employment. So sad if my kids find me a nuisance then & ask me to return to work instead of staying home to nag nag nag

Hubby gets 'defensive' whenever I mentioned returning to work. Only if I can guarantee no overtime.....impossible unless I switched industry.

I sincerely hope my girls will not be SAHMs in future, waste my time, effort & money nuturing them. Think of all the opportunity cost to stay home with them & if they end up at home too rather than generating income for my retirement..... I find myself very contradicting. Me & my double standard


Rachel

Indeed a difficult decision....
why HR so mean, boss already agreed

 

[nirvana_28]

If i were you, i will go for the flexible working hours
I can work and spend time with my kids. Y not?

 

[nirvana_28]

Hi,

I am a newbie, can i join?

 

[zhen49]

hippo2002,

I am in a pretty much similar situation as you...my dad is working, my mom is busy taking care of my nephews (first is my sis' then is my bro's), my FIL is working, my MIL, though not working, had thrown in the towel in the case of taking care of 2 kids. I don't want a maid too. so will probably boot ds2 off to childcare...if i bear to do so.

With all the 'care-giving experience', it will be also sad if my kids find that I can't take care of their kids when the time comes for them to be parents. but then again, i'll probably yearn for my freedom by then...who knows.

My hubby too gets upset whenever I mentioned returning to work. I too have to guarantee no overtime.....impossible in my industry. He said other FTWM yearn to be SAHM and yet I want to go back to work.... Think my MIL also hope that I stay at home....not so busy for her.

There is no guaranteed 'returns' for our SAHM effort. My boys may well 'run off' with their wives and listen to their wives for all that I have done for them. haiz. One of the paradoxes of parenting is that if you do your job as a mother well, your kids will eventually leave you (ie be totally independent). But then again, I am still living with my ILs, so I am hoping my MIL's 'strategy' to get us to live together rubs off on my dss. heehee....

 

[zhen49]

welcome 'newbie' mummies.

you may want to furnish some 'standard' info, just for sharing...do refer to the latest archive for the details (eg no. of kids, eyeing which Pri sch etc).

 

[lwg26]

hippo, fz
I tink s'times men are not so 'adventurous'. They prefer to stay status quo. When I declare to quit job 4 yr ago, hubby was against it strongly bcos of financial issue, but it was no choice. Then few yrs later, when I consider going back to work, hubby was against it again as he feels I shd take care of kids at home. Contradictory. But now after working for few mths, he said I should continue working so as to relieve him of 'pressure'. I think working or staying at hm have its own merits. But I strongly recommend mums to stay at home for at least few years to groom the children. Wish I've the chance to 'change employment' to SAHM again... Maybe wait for retrenchment ha ha...

 

[2galswithlove]

fz, hippo

Thanks for your advise.

fz, guess i am like you, not ready to go back to workforce. Bet i will ever be ready. Am in too much of a "family mode" to switch back to working life.

hippo,

Whenever my dd1 mentioned or asked about her future marriage life, child bearing etc... I will always remind and make it very clear to her that she must study hard, establish her career then think of other things in life. I am not being selfish, i dont want them to be in my shoes. She will always end up with "but i want to be a housewife and do the things that you do lei". faintz

 

[foocj]

If financial allows , SAHM of course is good but for me cannot as we not earning a lot so both of us must work to support the family so my children is in childcare but I must sure I go home on the dot to fetch them back and accompany them and play with them for a few hrs before they sleep .

 

[lwg26]

Hippo,
My dd say next time she will go to work but I will help her to look after her children. Ha Ha. Ok lah at least I presume she wants me to live with her after she's married.

A&E
Nowadays, can't depend on the kids to "yang lao". If they do well enough in school to get some bursery to offset the school fees, I already so happy. So now muz work hard earn and save up for emergencies / retirement.

 

[rachel_chin]

Gin,

I agree with you that we cannot rely on our kids to 'yang lao'. Nowadays living standard so high. As much as they would like to provide for us when we grow old they might face constraint themselves - they might not even earn enough for their family.

 

[lwg26]

Rachel,
Nowadays women are different from women of the past. During my time, ladies will go into accounts, business, HR. Now I saw my friends' daughters going for biotech, medicine, law. The status of women is different liao. My dd say she wants to be a air stewardess ; ) I told her most important is she muz love her job. Otherwise, so much $ also no use.

 

[hippo2002]

Iwg26

dd1 also asked me to look after her kids so that she can 'fan xing' to go to work. She doesn't want a maid too (show her video clips of maid abusing baby)

aiyo, I told her I want to go backpacking with her daddy, no time to babysit. And she must work so that she can pay our credit card bills while we are travelling

2galswithlove

hehe, I told them if they decided to be SAHMs, make sure their spouses are rich enough to pay for my allowance. Otherwise they better continue working. Do they want me to end up cleaning table at hawker centers?

dd1 feels sorry for retirees who clean tables or selling tissue She asked why their children didn't take care of them? That leaves a lasting impression on her


kids' career plan

Have your kids mentioned about their intended career?

I think pediatric & dentist are nice jobs. Not too tiring since no need overtime & can charge ridiculous fees. Get to go home once clinic closed. Have been 'selling' the idea to my kids

Worst job is gynae, must work in middle of the night & be on call 24x7

 

[lwg26]

hippo,
Apparently dentist is not easy job. Saw from some reports that dentist is one of the highest stress job. Apparently, they need to look into people's mouths all the time - not v pleasant.

My son say he wan to be pilot. I told him muz work hard for it. Say only no use. Hopefully the kis will have high ambitions => motivation.

 

[zhen49]

hippo2002,
my boy said he wants to open a pizza shop. but both me and hubby feel that he will end up being a '3rd generation' civil servant, cos he is very VERY law-abiding.

 

[hippo2002]

Iwg26
Pilot so stylo in uniform, going to attract lots of girls

oh, maybe my impression is mainly shaped by my dentist. He does braces only, charging a few $K per patient. He doesn't even do general cleaning or fillings. Hubby did an estimation of my dentist's income. He's probably earning $10 per minute!

dd1 says she doesn't want to look into other people's teeth so she prefers to be a pediatrician.
dd2 says she wants to be an orthodontist to fix braces & make someone prettier

fz
Good leh, he will be his own boss

 

[2galswithlove]

hippo,

wow! you sure talk to your kids like i would to my friends. Seems to me like three adults taking.. Your daughter has got a kind heart. Able to feel sorry for someone at such a tender age.

My dd1 wants to be an astronaut when she was 2, a doctor when she was 3 and the recent one, a dentist, cos she has a best friend whom Daddy is a Dentist. She said can make alot of money and make people's teeth nice.

Hey not true about PD being home when clinic closed leh.. My girls PD is on call 24/7. He has to be in the hospital's nursery early in the morning to check on babies, there after tend to his clinic and back to the hospital to review his patients when his clinic closes in the evening. He looks much older than his age.

Cant agree more than gynae is the worst. ha ha...

To all 2002 mummies,

Gong Xi Fa Cai!!! Hope money will keep rolling in for us in the year of Rat!!

Cheers!!

 

[ssm]

haha, seems like all our kids have different ambitions. i asked my ds, he said he wants to be a basketball player............and my dd wants to be ballerina........i was also trying to sell the idea of being a PD to my ds but he not interested leh.

 

[ssm]

<font color="0000ff">To all 2002 mummies</font>

<font color="ff0000">May the Year of the Rat bring you and your family abundance of JOY, GOOD HEALTH AND PROSPERITY!!</font>

 

[hippo2002]

mommies

<font size="+2">Gong Xi Gong Xi</font>

<font color="aa00aa">did you read the Staits Times article today on expensive pre-schools? do you feel it is worth the money?</font>

the expensive schools that my girls attended were Shichida (around $800 for 11 lessons) and Montessori childcare ($500 per month). Now I no longer subscribe to the 'expensive is better' mindset. No doubt these 2 schools were good although I couldn't exactly pin point how they contributed 'more' to their development. My kids now attending normal church kindergarten &amp; supplement with enrichment classes. Development satisfactory lah

 

[zhen49]

Gong Xi Fa Cai, mummies.

hippo2002,
ya..did you read the line on the 'side-effects' of sending the kids to such expensive schools? that the kids come back complaining that their friends go to expensive holidays etc. that probably means that although the school succeeded in coaching the kids to be more vocal, they might have lack in teaching kids that material things are not as important.

the only costly ones that i sent is for montessori enrichment (2x a week @ $250/mth) and berries (1x a week @ $360/12 lessons). the former one, although i like the curriculum, but the teachers are not as encouraging as the pcf teachers that my boy is now studying. for the latter (berries), my boy is pestering me to sign him up for its twice weekly lessons (@ >$500 per term)...can't do...no budget.

 

[lwg26]

fz,
What is montessori enrichment? Do they teach English/Maths?

My kids children are middle income family. Now my kids are already complaining why her friends get to go holiday to Australia, Korea, Japan etc whereas they have only been to HK &amp; Genting last year.

 

[operation]

Hi ladies,

Can I join this thread? I have 2 kids and my youngest is in K2. She is going to P1 next year. She will probably join his brother in Woodgrove Pri in Woodlands.

She is weak in chinese. Aiyo...headache.

 

[lwg26]

Hi, Friend
welcome. Did you try your girl in chinese enrichment? Or tuition?

 

[hippo2002]

Friend

my girl is weak in Chinese too. I make her practice writing 5 characters a day since last month. She resisted initially but now seems more receptive to writing

 

[hippo2002]

fz, Iwg26

I told my girl not to 'follow' her friend since she was 2 years old. Some of her K2 classmates are still drinking from milk bottles &amp; some watched tv the whole day. So if she came home comparing, I will ask her 'are you following your friends?' Shut her up immediately without fail

Same strategy for holiday destinations, hair clips, stationery &amp; fashion fab

 

[operation]

Hi Gin,

Thanks.

I put her into Berries Woodlands since end of dec'07. But I saw a few negative comments on "Ms Hu" which happens to be her teacher that caroline3sg in another thread has mentioned. I will feedback to the management there to see whether they can improve on this.

Look likes I've to step up my coaching on her. But, quite tough for a FTWM as I need to coach my son too.

Aiyoyo...time management for FTWM is extremely impt.

Hi Hippo,

I've started her on writing, it is also my problem as I cannot followup on her writing everyday and it became quite reactive from her.

Is there any other methods that can recommend?

 

[hippo2002]

Friend

I wish I have other methods too. Now I must sit right next to her to get anything done. I hope she can be more independent but the moment I step away, she started day dreaming

 

[operation]

Hippo,

same here and she can gave excuses for not completing her writing...

Haiz...I guess it is a common problem for children. Hope that she will grow out of this.

 

[lwg26]

hippo,
I have been using the same tactic on "cannot follow friend". I jus realise this is a double-edged sword... When dd compares, I will tell her if her friend does bad things like stealing, is she also going to steal and go to jail with her friend? Essentially she got the idea. But last week, she say she wants to get a HP when she is in Pri school. I told her mummy only gets a HP when 20+ years old. Dd told me "we are different. You say cannot follow people. Your time is different from mine. You got hp at 20 doesn't mean I've to follow you. Does it means if you steal I also follow you to steal things?" * Faint *

 

[ssm]

gin,
wah, what yr girl said is not wrong also lah. She's smart to compare in that manner! Nowadays kids are scary, they just surprise u with their thinking! Yest my son has been bugging me to let him open his "hong bao" and keep saying that is his $$$!!! He even wanted to bring his $$ to the shopping mall cos he wants to use his OWN $$ to buy toys!

mummies,
noticed a a trend here in the 2002 kids - lazy, daydreaming?

 

[hippo2002]

Iwg26

hehe, I also told her to 'follow daddy &amp; mommy only'. That's why she reprimands me whenever I'm glue to my laptop watching korean dramas. She said 'lazy mommy, watch TV the whole day!' because I didn't practice what I preached. I have my excuse ready too, I completed my education so I can watch TV. She can watch TV whole day too when she finished hers

ssm
yes yes, day dreaming &amp; super slow motioned

 

[lwg26]

ssm,
ya boy. My dd tell me why I take all her ang pow money. She thot I use her $ up. One day muz show her the POSB trust account that we open for her. Not that we spend all. We help her to save !

 

[hippo2002]

mommies

you allow your kids to keep their ang bao?

I told my girls the money rightfully belongs to me because I need to give other children ang bao too. All ang bao goes right back to my purse, they just had fun collecting for me

 

[zhen49]

Gin,
montessori enrichment - this branch have maths..but my boy resent going for extra classes cos he is tied up with phonics, berries, swimming and abacus right now. http://www.modern-montessori.com/presch_centres_bt.htm

my boy, in pcf, so no problem on the comparison issue.

agreed on the 'double-edge sword' on comparison. recently told him to put the ya1 shuay4 money under his pillow cos it is tradition for good luck, he retort said luck are not something real and that if he not convinced, he will not follow.

Friend,
Welcome.

hippo2002,
practice 5 chinese characters a day? what other worksheets does your girl do daily then? for my boy, only need him to practice 1 page (5 lines) of chinese sentence (that he learnt in berries) twice a week.

ssm,
ya! last year, i managed to keep his red packet for my own use, but this year, he insists that he want to bank all. when i asked him if he can use the money to buy me some stuff costing $14, he reluctantly agreed (after much coaxing) and even ask for the change back!

ssm, for lazy...how do you intepret? my boy doesn't daydream...he likes to talk nonsense and doodle.

 

[ssm]

mummies,
i actually opened a trust account for my kids to keep the angpow $$ as well as savings. Although my hubby also thinks that the angpow is rightfully his since he was the one who came out with the $ for the giveaway angpows but i think otherwise. So in this case, he has no say lah!

lazy to me = wont initiate to do something unless being pushed to do so, resist to do anything, lack of discipline and slow motion.

my son fits the bill!

 

[hippo2002]

fz

she will repeat 6 times for each character. Any words will do, purpose is let her practice.

My target is for her to touch on English/Maths/Chinese before dd2 returns from kindergarten so not much time allocated for each subject. For the moment, she only has time to write 5 Chinese characters before moving on to next subject. Occasionally do some P1 Chinese assessment books if she didn't want to practice writing that day

However, I must sit with her throughout to get anything done, cannot step away even for a moment, very tedious leh. I told her I am going to ask her P1 teacher to arrange an extra seat next to her so that I can attend primary school with her next year. She's very offended whenever I say that

Once dd2 returns from her kindergarten, both of them will play non-stop. They have 5 hours of playtime everyday. bo bian, they refused to do any homework once they see each other. Sat &amp; Sun are off day too because both are home, impossible to get any homework done

 

[zhen49]

ssm,
i guess most kids won't initiate to do things that are not fun. for my boy, he resist to learn anything new cos he complained it is difficult. i have to force him to do it many a times and just hope that he will learn the concepts soon enough and reap the benefit of learning (swimming is one example..for the first month, he go there with a frowny face..nowadays, he can't stop smiling during lessons).

hippo2002,
for chinese character practice, i find that i have to sit down with my boy to practice each word, else, he will either do the strokes wrongly although the wordings come out correctly or he will write terribly. have not invested in P1 chinese assessment books yet, cos dunno which is good. any recommendations?

as my boy can hardly sit for >1 hour, my target (recently revised) for him is to do chinese writing 2x a week and maths and english 1x a week. Saturday is out of bounds cos his enrichment programme is packed and the rest of the 2 days are for his enrichment homework.

 

[ssm]

fz,
i agree, most kids wont initiate to do things esp in the things they have no interest in. Actually I was a lazy girl when i was young too (oops!).

 

[hippo2002]

ssm
me too. My mom said I was lazy &amp; playful till P2 then started to take studies more seriously because I realized got scholarship. I money face lah

fz
actually I am not too sure which is better, I just grab a few from popular, as long it is the latest syllabus.

 

[ssm]

hippo,
haha, so the laziess from our kids come from US lor???? Keke

 

[ma22]

Hi Mummies,

I'm a FTWM wif 2 gals (5+, 3+) &amp; 1 boy (going 1 soon). My mom &amp; maid looks after the kids while I'm working. Recently, I've been seriously thinking of quiting to be a SAHM since dd1 is going to P1 next yr.

Like everyone else $ is one of the factor that's stopping me. I can give up luxury items, pretty clothings, makeup, no restaurants or even holidays but I cannot give up contributions to my dad's nursing bills. My hubby was telling me that he might not be able to help in this regards. That's the sticky part. Sigh .......

I don't push dd1 to study but I'll coach her homewrk (basically spelling &amp; phoincs) at night. Try my best to read to them be4 going to slumber land. Somehow, i feel that I'm not doing enough for them &amp; i feel guilty abt it.

Recently, enrolled both gals into KinderArts @ Demspey as I realised that dd1 lacks confident. Brought dd1 to ballet class that she herself wanted to learn &amp; she ran away ! Not sure if this art class has only 4 students including both my dds or dd1 really enjoys Arts. dds looks forward to every Sat. Makes me feel that money worth spending

Considering of enrolling dd1 into River Valley Pri as it's nearer to my place &amp; a mix sch is a bonus. Any feedback on tis sch ?

 

[milo]

hi,
Can see alot of new mummies joining in. I also see that you all have arranged quite a few activities for your kids, no offence though. I'm tempting to start him in english, but can someone enlighten me about which tution centre or enrichment centre is better? How do you go by choosing??

My son also fits the bill for laziness, when i show him his ting xie, he immediately say he know how to write. Then when i ask him to show me, all wrong... haiz really plain lazy to practice his work.

Btw, can i check with you mummies whether your children knows how to read time?