When Do You Walk Away?

[kiche]

Not sure if any mummies out there is facing the same thing but when will you walk away from a marriage where your husband is like a stranger and every day, there is no affection or quality time (no efforts made for these as well) spent together? Hardly talk to each other and it is almost like 2 strangers sharing the same house?

 

[tiggerpooh]

Have u tried sitting down and talk about d situation with your hubby?

I mean, both of u can sit down n c if he feels d same way as u.... N decide how u wanna deal wif d situation together?

 

[VenusMummy]

any kids invloved?

I am also facing the same situation now. Plus I have a young baby

 

[kiche]

@tiggerpooh I have communicated this to him before. But he either does not see any issues and hence chooses not to act on it or forget what i said after a while.

@VenusMummy. I hv two kids. In a way, having kids caused the difting apart cos after a day of work and kids, u juz want to wind down and hv some time to urself.

 

[gooseberry]

Hi, I can understand how u r feeling for I've bn through it n m still gg thru it for two years plus already. It's like we wait, n how long shld we wait... There're underlying issues for this lack of affection. Hv to face squarely w issues to resolve them. But if Hubby refuses to do, it's futile too. Then, a marriage counsellor can enable both parties to know how each is feeling n may hopefully resolve.

 

[tiggerpooh]

Hi
Sorry to hear both of your predicament. I guess u have tried n fail to suggest counselling?

How about taking a short trip wif just d both of u? Try 2 re - kindle some "heat"?

 

[paradigm]

I feel u. My husband also of few words. Even when he talks, he doesn't really know how to express.
Its putting a strain on us n my toddler is kind of affected by this.

 

[kiche]

Thanks for all the inputs. I was trying to see if the drifting apart is normal between married couples with kids. It really is hard when u are supposedly with the one u love but there's just nothing to talk abt besides the children and mundane household matters. It's not helping that my hubby is a man of very VERY few words...

 

[srjk]

Normal la.. Life is not like drama series

 

[4evaluv]

I feel u. Been thru dat almost 4 yrs bk. It takes time n effort on both parties to rekindle the love n make it work. To me d kids were the main reason i stayed on. But of course i had a gd talk with hb n we den tried to make it a pt to spend sm couple time once in a while. We also starting going on a short trip each yr during our wedding anni. Makes a lot of diff. That's wen u feel like a couple n nt jus mum n dad. U cld oso try finding common interest like doing a sport together etc

 

[tiggerpooh]

Thanks for all the inputs. I was trying to see if the drifting apart is normal between married couples with kids. It really is hard when u are supposedly with the one u love but there's just nothing to talk abt besides the children and mundane household matters. It's not helping that my hubby is a man of very VERY few words...

DH is also a man of few words too. Sometimes I think he will suffer on his own den share his sorrows wif me. It doesnt help dat after being married 4 more den 10 yrs, our way of life has 2 change cos of DD.

But I guess, one can always think... Y we got married in d 1st place? Of cos it's not really a smooth journey 4 me, but d gd thing is we acknowledged dat we will need 2 talk about problems if we think there is. DH & myself r not one who will keep things. We rather talk things out n try 2 come 2 a common understanding.

We as mothers, will sometimes get so carried away wif household chores or our kids. Mayb take some time away fr these.... Need not b a trip, it cld b a day thing... just take a day's leave n go watch a movie or high tea or just a walk down Orchard Road.

Couples drift apart 4 various reasons. If d foundation is gd, d couple can overcome d obstacle. Jiayou!!!

 

[dietcoke17]

for me i find that its tiring after a huge fight and i tend to ignore him?
but hes the type who is a devil and next moment sorry I dont remember a thing type.
Very sian when this happened. I kept telling mself too that i should only walk away if hes got an affair.

Even intercourse now a days is so cold. no feeling no excitement when its with him. Guess he must have hurt me alot.
And of course, my two kids are my main priorities now.

 

[Angel Song]

To be honest, I have no affections towards my hubby at all too. We did not have sex for the past 5 years. I'm not sure whether he has other woman outside. Can a guy really go without sex for 5 years?The only reason why I stayed on in this marriage is because of my child too.

I'm not sure whether staying in this marriage for the sake of staying on is healthy for my child.

I wished I had the courage to walk away from this marriage and find my own happiness, even if that means I am single.

 

[95huili]

To be honest, I have no affections towards my hubby at all too. We did not have sex for the past 5 years. I'm not sure whether he has other woman outside. Can a guy really go without sex for 5 years?The only reason why I stayed on in this marriage is because of my child too.

I'm not sure whether staying in this marriage for the sake of staying on is healthy for my child.

I wished I had the courage to walk away from this marriage and find my own happiness, even if that means I am single.

I don't think men can go without sex for 5 years. My hubby has very Low sex needs and I kept rejecting him since I am not satisfied. He hold it for a year and when a Young PRC slut threw herself to him. He cant resist it too. Intimacy is important to keep the relationship alive. Please put effort to build the intimacy with your hubby if you wish to continue the marriage. Don't let it go and regret later.

 

[JK1688]

Maybe you guys can actually bond with interactive outing, like picnic, instead of movie, when both of you will just keep quiet and enjoy the show.

Through interactive outing, I'm sure you'll learn more about each other.

For those who pin point on sexual part, why not do something to spice up the situation. It don't just take 1 hand to clap.

Cheers