What can I do ...

N

notti_hamham

Member
feeling lost and sad. My hubby after the discover of his affair with the prc masseur. He still keep in contact her. No matter what I say he also no listen. He say is Friend! And tell me he already reduce talking to her. Which I can’t tell cuz he used back his WeChat account and delete it after use. And also in other app.
I feel I’m a stranger to him, he nv let me know the app he use to post things and he share video with that bitch. that Bitch can know everything.

He ask me to think of my kids. Dun becuz of myself and destroy the family. I think he is crazy.
He no think who causing it. Putting blame on me.

Am I in the wrong of stop him contact the affair woman?
Got any mummy here can accept ?
 


notti_hamham said:
feeling lost and sad. My hubby after the discover of his affair with the prc masseur. He still keep in contact her. No matter what I say he also no listen. He say is Friend! And tell me he already reduce talking to her. Which I can’t tell cuz he used back his WeChat account and delete it after use. And also in other app.
I feel I’m a stranger to him, he nv let me know the app he use to post things and he share video with that bitch. that Bitch can know everything.

He ask me to think of my kids. Dun becuz of myself and destroy the family. I think he is crazy.
He no think who causing it. Putting blame on me.

Am I in the wrong of stop him contact the affair woman?
Got any mummy here can accept ?
Click to expand...

Your problem came back again.
Seriously u really find a way to stop this if not u might lose him to the PRC
 
Do not fight for a man who goes w a prc. You will nvr win and you will get an empty shell end of the day. This man should b dropped like a hot potato!

Protect yourself financially from now. You get nothing out of an empty shell during dv. Understand?

This is a slippery slope. As long as he is holding onto her, it's going to b one way down w u and the kids as you guys are holding onto the same rope.

Hence either he cut the rope out on her soon or you cut him out sooner.

Rationalise while u grief. Plan your next course of action. Bluntly said, since he will b sucked dry, why don't u suck him dry first for the sake of your kids and yourself?
 
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I think what he wan is to ask u keep quiet and cover your eyes n let him continue.
U have to ask yourself whether u can do it or not.
If yes then let him continue n don't care wat he do, he provide for u n child.
If not then u have to find out what he say is truth. Whether they are really friend only. Use the evidence N confront him if they are having affair. See whether he will stop if not then have to take drastic action.
 
Thanks ladies.

I make him open his WeChat to prove. It true that the chats are all gone. But who knows the bitch did reply a msg that he haven’t read.
She say I miss u too ~ . This still got normal Friend?!?
And this is his so call she Nv reply him Liao!

After a Long .... talk cum quarrel. He agreed to give me this WeChat account. N promised to stop contact her.
Although I’m glad that he is willing. But seriously I still feel hard to trust him. The bitch is not in sg now but will come back again. I still worry.
Any ways that can help me ? I duno is it this become a sickness to me
 
You should ask yourself. Do you still trust him? If so, then continue and prepare to get hurt again...

I agreed with what Mongkok mentioned 'Do not fight for a man who goes w a prc. You will nvr win and you will get an empty shell end of the day. This man should b dropped like a hot potato!'

I will divorce with my hubby for sure!
 
If you do not have kids, yes...drop him like a hot potato , otherwise consider the consequences of Divorce carefully. The impact and mental turmoil is not easy to cope though the word is easy to use.
 
notti_hamham said:
Thanks ladies.

I make him open his WeChat to prove. It true that the chats are all gone. But who knows the bitch did reply a msg that he haven’t read.
She say I miss u too ~ . This still got normal Friend?!?
And this is his so call she Nv reply him Liao!

After a Long .... talk cum quarrel. He agreed to give me this WeChat account. N promised to stop contact her.
Although I’m glad that he is willing. But seriously I still feel hard to trust him. The bitch is not in sg now but will come back again. I still worry.
Any ways that can help me ? I duno is it this become a sickness to me
Click to expand...

He will just go to other means of cheating n makes it more difficult for you to find out. The next time you find out don’t confront.
I guess all the women here went thru the whole process - just with different man, however their mode of operation - ALL THE SAME !!!!
1. Lies and more lies
2. It’s all your fault
3. Are you crazy? Are you hallucinating?

Please take care of yourself
 
Obviously he still didnnt stop contacting her.
Even if he give u his wechat password. Its easy to setup another.

Yes dont rush into a divorce, a single parent life is not easy

But that doesnt mean u dont do anything and let them continue
 
if you can no longer trust him, then no point. even if you continue with the marriage, you will not be happy. you may want to consider divorcing him. it may seem like a huge step to take, but in time to come your life may be better as you won't have to worry about your husb cheating on you or having affairs anymore.
 
notti_hamham said:
Thanks ladies.

I make him open his WeChat to prove. It true that the chats are all gone. But who knows the bitch did reply a msg that he haven’t read.
She say I miss u too ~ . This still got normal Friend?!?
And this is his so call she Nv reply him Liao!

After a Long .... talk cum quarrel. He agreed to give me this WeChat account. N promised to stop contact her.
Although I’m glad that he is willing. But seriously I still feel hard to trust him. The bitch is not in sg now but will come back again. I still worry.
Any ways that can help me ? I duno is it this become a sickness to me
Click to expand...

From what I read. He is giving in by giving u the wechat password. It's a good sign. But it might also be bad that he become more careful n continuing to contact her by other means.

Trust need time to build up. It's going to be difficult but if u treasure your marriage. Then have to endure it. However u need to open your eyes to see what is really happening around u in case she come back. Anyway how u know she is not in Singapore
 
if she is providing extra service in the shop, report her and the shop to the Authorities (eg. police, etc).

get hold of her WP, report to MOM siding solicitation. reinforce w your police report.

if the shop is clean, get the contact of the shop and inform the shop owner if you suspect she is providing extra service.

as for yourself and your kids, feign pay cut (hope you are working), etc to increase his contribution to the household. give excuses that you need $$ for this and that. drain him out.

concurrently, plan your way out. coz the amt of money you spent on catching this man's doing, can be well-spent on your kids. not worth lah. there is a village of these prc. how many can you stop?

saying "the buses keep coming, he may have miss this bus (prc), he sure board the next one that comes along.".

your life is paused becoz of your man's stupidity. these women are survivors and opportunists. that's why you will nvr win them. he will only wake up when she emptied him. why lower yourself to fight w women like those?

you want him come back to you? very simple. let them be. once he is drained, he will come back telling you that you are still his best!
 
Agree with @Mongkok, if you wish to fight, you gonna fight smart. There is no point winning the battle but lose the war. Your kids are looking up to you for support and sense of security, so be their pillar of support. Be strong, be brave and move on
 
My personal thinking is keep winning the small battles.
Keep him on his toes and pressure him to stop.
Everyone have mistake n we shouldn't condemn him cos of this women. To get marry is not easy if the man willing to change give him a chance.
These PRC are not so scary. It's not every man they see n they want they will get them. Use your children, n family bond to get him back n also on the lookout for her
 
Mongkok said:
if she is providing extra service in the shop, report her and the shop to the Authorities (eg. police, etc).

get hold of her WP, report to MOM siding solicitation. reinforce w your police report.

if the shop is clean, get the contact of the shop and inform the shop owner if you suspect she is providing extra service.

as for yourself and your kids, feign pay cut (hope you are working), etc to increase his contribution to the household. give excuses that you need $$ for this and that. drain him out.

concurrently, plan your way out. coz the amt of money you spent on catching this man's doing, can be well-spent on your kids. not worth lah. there is a village of these prc. how many can you stop?

saying "the buses keep coming, he may have miss this bus (prc), he sure board the next one that comes along.".

your life is paused becoz of your man's stupidity. these women are survivors and opportunists. that's why you will nvr win them. he will only wake up when she emptied him. why lower yourself to fight w women like those?

you want him come back to you? very simple. let them be. once he is drained, he will come back telling you that you are still his best!
Click to expand...


Hi mongkok, the bitch is no longer working in sg. I did report her when she in sg that she provide extra svc. But there’s no action.

Ya I’m a working mum. I do not have so much $ to hire any PI. That y I only can check him myself.

Yes for sure that I want him back if not won’t give so many chances.
Not the prc scary is the man who believe them that scary.
I only walk 1 step see 1 step. I am trying my best but sometimes I just can’t help to confront him.
 
If you have proof that they both went on bed, then my advice is divorced! Such man totally not worth!!
 
notti_hamham said:
Hi mongkok, the bitch is no longer working in sg. I did report her when she in sg that she provide extra svc. But there’s no action.

Ya I’m a working mum. I do not have so much $ to hire any PI. That y I only can check him myself.

Yes for sure that I want him back if not won’t give so many chances.
Not the prc scary is the man who believe them that scary.
I only walk 1 step see 1 step. I am trying my best but sometimes I just can’t help to confront him.
Click to expand...

I agree that the scary part is the man. You gave that man your heart during the wedding, and he did not treasure it. You contributed so much to the family and even have kids, unfortunately, he having affair with that PRC. Is he still worth your chances over and over? Will you still be happy living with him after this case?
 
Freedom-123 said:
I am sorry to hear this.... but why are you so sure?
Whet is your husband's view?
Click to expand...

He admits. I dun have other proof.
He does not agree to divorce. He say he still love me and kids. But he also love that bitch. He will still agree w Divorced if I cannot get over it.

Everyday my feeling is suxk. I really duno I should give up or Not. Is not easy decision. :(
Both our families does not know anything.
 
notti_hamham said:
Hi mongkok, the bitch is no longer working in sg. I did report her when she in sg that she provide extra svc. But there’s no action.

Ya I’m a working mum. I do not have so much $ to hire any PI. That y I only can check him myself.

Yes for sure that I want him back if not won’t give so many chances.
Not the prc scary is the man who believe them that scary.
I only walk 1 step see 1 step. I am trying my best but sometimes I just can’t help to confront him.
Click to expand...


I agree with you it is not easy. I still feel your kids are looking up to you for support and sense of security during these period. If you wish to stay on with this marriage, it will be better to be your kids pillar of support instead. Maybe your man has taken you for granted, so no point to put more effort in your marriage. Focus on family, focus on your kids. Be strong, be brave and move on.

I am not sure if it is a good idea to let both side of the family to know, to me, at least the elders can help you through and you are not alone
 
Can I seek advice. A very close friend of mine recently found out that her husband is having an affair when he was drunk as he accidentally blurt out. She has suspected him, as he suddenly stop coming home often and even use nasty words at her. He is also using her parent’s name to get a lot bad debts for company. What can I advice her. She is so depress and not thinking through.
 
Lost Hope in everything said:
Can I seek advice. A very close friend of mine recently found out that her husband is having an affair when he was drunk as he accidentally blurt out. She has suspected him, as he suddenly stop coming home often and even use nasty words at her. He is also using her parent’s name to get a lot bad debts for company. What can I advice her. She is so depress and not thinking through.
Click to expand...
Whose company - your friend company or the husband company? Did the parents sign as guarantor for the debts?

Ask her to stop confronting him cuz it’s pointless.
 
Lost Hope in everything said:
He uses her parents’ name to open company for his own business and accounts. Very complicated.
Click to expand...
Woah it’s really complicated, in my opinion the most important thing now is not the affair but the company. If the husband’s name is not listed as owner, the parents have to bear the debts. It’s best to liquidate the company first. As for the divorce, forget about PI n etc. She can divorce based on unreasonable behavior due to this. It’s best to leave immediately cuz like it or not, your friend have to bear his debts too. Matrimonial assets means even debts are shared.
 
The company matter n divorce is 2 different matter.
U cannot say he have debt to file base on reasonable behaviour
 
Freedom-123 said:
Does adultery has impact on custody rights and distribution of matrimonial assets?
Click to expand...

Not really. Adultery is only one of the reason for direct divorce.
Custody rights, assests distribution, maintainence/alimony fee etc, still based on other factors such as income, who take care more etc etc
 
If he neglect the child because of the affair like coming back late in the night or he shift out. Then he won't be able to win the care n control of your children
 
Thank you so much for all the replies! I’m so sorry for the late responds as very busy throughout the week. The whole case is so complicated till I also don’t know how to explain or how to help. Appreciate all the replies!
 
I just feel so sorry for her, husband betray her love is already bad enough and still scold her for trusting him enoug, now leave debts to her own parents because if him and the little kid is traumatized. She is totally distraught
 
She keeps telling me how can someone be so cruel, say change then change!!! What about the love and kindness her family has shown him and how they brave through difficult times. Men are so terrible
 
Lost Hope in everything said:
She is trying to look for evidences herself as she has no more money left after loaning him.
Click to expand...

What kind of evidence she is collecting?
How will she know what evidence to collect.

My advice is since thing have happen, quickly do something to stop it or take action. The longer it drag the worse for her.
 
My suggestion is to file for divorce against his unreasonable behaviour (ake affair)
As for the money lending cases her parents did to him, if there's no proof, then they can't do much also...
 

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