Support Group - Stillbirths

Hi princess angel, going back same gynae may be good if he can pay extra attention to you, since he has the details abt your case...

Perhaps when you are pregnant again, you can go and consult the new gynae and see if you prefer him/her...

I did seek a 2nd opinion when my baby has no heartbeat but I won't go back to that gynae when I'm pregnant again..thou she is supposed to be very famous..I find her not very empathetic..maybe because I'm not her patient in the first place..but somehow there is no chemistry..the way she put across the news is like..no choice..baby is dead...move on...

My own gynae, on the other hand is very empathetic, he shares the pain as much as his patient, I can see it from his face, and he is always ready to explain to me , even though I have nothing to ask him at that fateful moment..so even though it's a pain lying in the same bed..same ultrasound machine..but I'm sure the next pregnancy will be a smooth one..
 


Thanks hui for sharing your opinions. You have a point here. I m thinking of returning too or maybe go to the new gynae for one visit when I preg and see how it goes.
 
The CTG is the same as those in contractions, stick a few wire on the tummy n start plotting baby's heartbeat and my contraction.

My gynae doesnt have it in the clinic in Gleneagles so I did it at the observation room outside the delivery ward. 30min was all we need but we still pay for an hour of service. ;) For a peace of mind.
 
hi princess,so nice of you to remember i start work today! *hugs
today seems pretty normal! nobody looks at my tummy in fact! i wore a tight fit dress and high heels so its pretty obvious i guess!
nobody ask me anything, just a few how are you etc..

its much better than i expected!

i got a colleague due in Dec, can see her baby bump now,felt a bit sad ,but just for a while..heard another one suspected pregnant..hmm..

i keep counting the calendar see when i should start trying!
 
Hui, yep sometimes it's not as tough as it seems ya?
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So how many cycles you plan to tcc? I am currently into 2 nd cycle. Maybe will start soon, mixed feelings.
 
Princess, I'm still waiting for my first cycle!
I estimate will come in 2 weeks, coz today seems to have more cervical mucus, seems like sign of ovulation? Lol

Btw I replied your mail, you saw right ?
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Hi,
I have lost my baby girl in 37th week earlier this year. This was my second pregnancy.
Her umbilical cord is entangled on her right leg and it was very very spiral and twisted. My gynae diagnosed as cord accident. He did not ask me to do any blood test because i had give birth to a healthy girl before.
Her weight was 2.7kg and everthing looks normal, i really don't know what has went wrong.

Thank god that i am now pregnant again, i am in my 6th week. i am still thinking whether should i go back to the same gynae.

Hi Java,
I am sorry for your loss and is happy for you because you are already mother of two.

For the blood clogging test,when should i do it?
Is it early pregnancy or late pregnancy?
Seems like it will only affect the baby in late pregnancy.
 
Hi ctyx, congrats on your pregnant!
Just curious if twisted and entangled cord can be seen in ultra sound? If so maybe a c sect can help if find out early? The blood clotting I heard some ppl take aspirin as early as 12 weeks.
The changing of gynae I think is up to you. Me too lost my baby at 20 weeks in July and I thought of changing a gynae nevt time I am pregnant. I just any bear going to the same place again. My post mortem and blood test shows everything is fine jus the cord is twisted. It could also be a possibility for baby heart beat to stop though. I could never get an answer.
 
Hi PrincessAngel,
So sorry for your loss, please take care.

The cord is on my baby's leg, not her neck, so i have been wondering whether this is due to entangled cord. This will be a question mark in my life.
I have also thought that entangled or twisted cord can be seen by ultrasound, but my gynae said it is not easily seen. Anybody can advise on this?
During my last checkup my baby looks normal, her head, her size, everything is alright, but one week later she is gone. My first girl was born in 37th week, and i always have a feeling that this second baby will arrive in the same week too, but who knows.
if it is due to entangled cord, i've ever thought that my gynae should have found that earlier.

Now i just hope that it is not due to blood clotting, so that i do not need to take aspirin.
 
HI all, I lost my twin boys again at 21weeks 2 days. This time confirmed is cervix incompetence despite I stitch already. Any recommendation? I do not want to jump into pregnancy again without a good plan or solution for it. See feliciatan22.com
 
horsie: i'm so sorry for ur loss. I know it hard to have so many losses within the span of 1 year...

I realy dont know what to say but hugs to u..

u did a ivf for this pregnancy?

Maybe u can find those gyane who are experts in this field? or high risk pregnancy?
 
VaNiLLa (vanilla04)

IVF this time as well. Am looking for someone experienced in this area and to understand more before I jump into it again...
 
Ctyx, jts...

Yr 2006. I lost a baby boy with twisted umbilical cord around his left leg. At week 37 also.....

Yr 2007 gave birth to a healthy full term baby boy.

Yr 2011... Lost my baby boy week 29 reason unknown.

Just gave birth to my baby girl, week 36. Miscarriage profile from last yr still birth shows I have gestational diabetes and protein s deficiency. This pregnancy I have to check loos glucose every week and take cardiprin (aspirin) throughout and from week 34 change to flaxsprin (injection).... Baby did not fare well at week 36 thus immd inject hormones and 2 days later, she's out... Weighing only 2.33kg. But she's very healthy la.....

Hold faith
 
Hi horsie, reading your article reminded me exactly of my eldest boy.
He was borned 23 weeks plus just like yours, due to contractions, and he passed away after 2 days.
My 2nd boy was given birth at 27 weeks.
Did you have complete bed rest since the start of your pregnancy?
I stop work completely since I know I am pregnant for my 3rd pregnancy and my girl came out slightly later 34weeks.
For your next pregnancy, maybe you can try resting completely at home.
And I know it is a bit difficult, but most probably, you may like to wait till 1 or 2 years later before you conceive again cause this really helps in preparing your body well.
I waited for 2 years before I have my youngest girl, while my 2nd boy I conceived after 3 months of rest, which might lead to his premature birth again.
 
Hi kkf,
My 1st preg at 23 weeks was due to water bag broke. Suspected cervix incompetence problem. 2nd preg waas 6 months later but is twin, I did bed rest at home since after stitch procedure at 13 weeks but didn't work. So am waiting for 1 year now before I try again, also to take tcm for the time being.. Did your 2nd boy make it? Did doctor say what is your problem? Also cervix incompetence?
 
Hi all,

I have been following this thread all the long since 2010, all of your stories bring much tears each time I read thru. I never can imagine the pain you all went.

I am blessed with 2 boys, born healthily in 2010 and 2011. Shortly after #2, I got pregnant at the 3rd month. It was an accident, however shortly at week 5, I had heavy bleeding like menses for a week. Due to the close age gap, I opt for natural miscarriage without the aid of jabs. I took pills only and did not bed rest. I continue my daily activities in a slower pace. My baby made it, make it thru oscars, thru detailed scan. It was a she, I was so happy, so so happy.

I had everything prepared for her, her arrival.
I carried the pregnancy to week 39 day 4. Everything was fine, I had show in the morning, regular contractions. So I check into tmc delivery suite. Upon gynae check I was only 1cm and baby is still not low enough, so gynae gave me the option to go back or induce. I opt for induce just like the brothers, they were all induce and deliver naturally.

After the pill insertion, I was monitor 2hrs and my gal had strong heartbeat. So we were send to the ward to rest and wait.

The contractions came at night, very painful and close, so I went to have my epidural. 10mins after the epidural, my gal strong heartbeat couldn't be detected! At that instance I knew she was gone. Gynae came and I was wheel into emergency csec. But it was too late. She was gone at week 39d4!

I was devastated. Why did this happen to me? She was a full grown 2.85kg baby! Her appearance looks normal. I did not send her for post moterm, cremeated her 2 days after.
 
Hi elise31,
So sorry for your loss. Be strong and take good care of yourself during your confinement.

Hi Angeline,
Thanks for sharing, and so happy to hear that your baby girl is born healthy.

i am in my week 19, will be going for detail scan next week. I went back to the same gynae. i checked with him whether do i need to go for any test just to make sure this pregnancy is safe. He said that since i have gave birth to a healthy girl before, most of those tests will come out with negative result. So he said he will not encourage me to go for those test.
however, he would advise me to deliver my baby earlier due to the past stillborn.

Did your gynae said whether your first stillborn was due to gestational diabetes and protein s deficiency?
i was curious that whether this illness is affecting every pregancy. but i doubt so since you have deliver a full term baby after that.
anyway, congrats to you again...really happy to hear that the mummies here got a healthy baby after their loss.

Horsie, you will made it one day
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Hi.. It is great to hear the stories here. I was just 1 day away from my EDD (19/12) when my baby girl was detected with no heartbeat. Previously I had an early miscarriage for my first pregnancy. The still birth was my second. It was a result of accidental haemorrhage, happens in 0.05% of stillbirths, v rare. Basically placenta tears off and she is cut off of oxygen supply and can just pass away in an hour.

The grieve is real. What keeps me going is my husband's support and love from church friends and family.

I was very comforted when a friend saw the image of a foetus in the clouds on the day she was delivered. She then sent it to me. Clouds are v significant to me and my daughter. I was praying to God for a name and had a dream of her and me
Writing a poem on clouds. I then told her that clouds in the bible represented God's presence. She then asked me what that meant and in the dream I hugged her and said,"just like
Mummy is with you now, it's means God is with you".

So I named her Manuela (which means God is with you).

The pic of the clouds sent by my friend is an encouragement that she is in heaven.

Memories do come back.. I will always rem how my husband and I wld sing a lullaby we wrote before we sleep. This lullaby was also sung at her burial, a day after I delivered her.

I guess for me when it comes to things I can't understand, human reasoning is not sufficient to bring that closure I need. All I know is God cares for me in this period and I am thankful that I carried her for 9months and was able to love her. To see her grow from a dot is a miracle.

May you all press on too! Feel free to DM me if you need a listening ear. Am on confinement now.
 
Hi Rae,
So this is your third? Did doc say why? Can definitely understand your pain when you are just a day away. So near yet so far.. Rest well and try again. Be assured that we are all with you.
 
Nope.. It's my second.. Due to accidental haemorrhage.: placenta tore off. Suppose to have symptoms of bleeding or pain but I didn't have any. Yep.. It was so close. On 16dec still felt movements. 17 dec I admitted myself in but no heartbeat detected.
 
Hi Rae, hugs. My heart is with you. You are one strong woman, and I pray that you will be blessed with a strong and healthy child soon. Take care and God bless!
 
Hi rae, big hugs to you.

I lost my gal while in the midst of delivery at week 39d4. No reasons were found.

Let's stay strong, move on and try again. We will make it.
 
Hi horsie,

I read your blog and my tears can't stop dropping. The pain is indescribable. You are strong, believe in yourself, your baby will come a day soon in your arms.

I hope there is a gynae who could have you with this. All the best.
 
Hi elise31,
I am seeking a high risk gyane now to do some pre-check before I jump into pregnancy again. Not to worry, I am fine and still alive, that is something glad for too.

Likewise, I am writing my 2nd book, if you or your friends are keen to contribute articles for it, do contact me. I hope to encourage or comfort more people like us who suffer silencely. Also to tell them, there is still hope...
 
Thanks Elise,joyfully. Your words of encouragement has made my day.

Yes elise.. Saw your sharing. Must have been a tough time for you. I can understand the feeling of how it was so close to having her in our arms. When was her EDD?

Horsie, will go look at your blog. Sure let us know of we can contribute to encourage other ladies out there or how to go about it.

Let's persevere together.. I really want to have a baby.. We will update other when we next conceive?

Btw.. Do any of you have good recommendation for female Gynae in Nuh or able to deliver at mount alvernia? Who is someone open for discussion/ patient.

My prev Gynae was really v expensive and was not open to induction.. Believes strongly in gg natural.
 
Hi Rae, my gal EDD was 16/12. I lost her 10 mins after epidural on 13/12.

Everyone here has make it so will we.

I am coping it better than I thought. I told my friend that is positive but in a cruel way is I am force to do it. But I believe God has bigger plans, especially for us so so so close and yet we could actually lose our baby.

As I was wheel into emergency csec, my gynae told me preferably to wait till 1 year later before I try again. But I think I will try after 9 months.

Do pm me if you néed to talk.
 
hi, i lost my twins slightly more than a month ago at 21 weeks. Can anyone advise me when should i try to get pregnant again?

Btw, i will be using my frozen embryos for the next try.
 
Hi rac,

I totally understand how u feel. In fact, totally understand how u girls felt.

Like you rac, I lost my bb boy at exactly 25 weeks 1 day. I was told that the placenta detach from the womb, they called it placenta abruption. He was my first born, I was devesating!! It just happen so fast.

I was feel some backache the night before and at 5.30am my pain gr worst and coming at a regular interval. I didn't know that was the labour, the contractions. I was told I had UTI, so I tot I was the UTI. To cut short, I started to bleed and I knew something is wrong so we went to KK, having the very least hope that my boy was gonna make it and KK have the best equipment or premature bb. On the way, my water bag broke, and that was when I knew I lost my boy..

Reached KK, they scanned twice also can't detect my boy's hb. I had to give birth naturally to my boy.

Castiel Tan Lele was born on 3rd Feb 2012 @ 912am..

He is perfect in every way just 15 weeks earlier.. He was my first born and everything came too sudden.

Next month will be his 1st birthday. I do not want to call it his death anniversary as the word death seems to be too huge for me to bear.. It's been almost a year but I still felt that things jus happen only.. So near yet do far..

So ladies, hang in there. This too, will pass. Cry whenever you feel like to. Take as much time you wish to grief.

I always like to quote this. I feel a lot better when I first saw this. So I hope it will have the same effect on u girls.
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"An angel in the book of life wrote down my baby's birth.
Then whispered as she closed the book "too beautiful for earth".

 "If tears could build a stairway, and memories a lane,

I'd walk right up to heaven and bring you home again."

Take care girls..
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Hi Vanilla,

I am so sorry for what you have gone through. You came across as a strong woman, and I applaud your attitude in handling the whole situation.

My sister shared with me (i had a miscarriage at week8) that our child is too perfect to be born in this world. Our little angels are waiting for us in heaven, and we will be reunited one day. Trust them in the care of the Lord!
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I have also been feeling down lately as my edd is supposed to be in early mar. Just want to let you know that your quote means a lot to me. Thanks so much for sharing.

Please take care, and God bless u!
 
Joyfully: thank you. I feel that there's no way that I'll recover. Life will nv be the same again after I lost my bb boy. Till today I'll still cry and grief.

It's a lost that can nv be replace.

Hope everyone is coping well..
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Been awhile since I step back into this thread.

I just wanna share with u all.
After e lost of my 2nd boy,I deliver my 3rd boy healthy last yr nov.so don't lost hope!

It has been more than a year since I lost my 2nd boy at 26weeks.
I still grieve n cry whenever I tink of him.

But I believe he will not want me to be so sad all the time.

And I will reunite with him in heaven one day.

Take care everyone n a happy advanced CNY.
 
He would be five year old if he's still here with us today. He now has two younger brothers and one more still unknown. *wink wink* My #1 was "third time lucky". #2 was "fourth time lucky" and now I need the fifth time. Wow, going through so many pregnancies within five years of losing him. But I treat it as a blessing. It's more painful this year as I see my own mother losing her dear son just about to get married and bought their own apartment. Her world collapsed just like mine. Maybe worse as there's 30+ years of memories while I only have 34 weeks. Nothing can be worse than that. Dad is strong, stronger than anyone of us. It's just life, we lost a dear family member and we're expecting another one. Keeping my fingers crossed and I need lots and lots of luck again. Wishing well for all of us here.
 
Take care lucky3, is never easy no matter how long or short the duration is. A loss is still a loss. Help comfort each other, you will grow stronger and as a family as well. As for your dad, talk to him as well, just to make sure he is alright too.. Hugs hugs..
 
feliciatan22 said:
Take care lucky3, is never easy no matter how long or short the duration is. A loss is still a loss. Help comfort each other, you will grow stronger and as a family as well. As for your dad, talk to him as well, just to make sure he is alright too.. Hugs hugs..
Click to expand...

Thank you.
 
Hi everyone, it's almost a year that I first posted. I lost Ashley at week 39 day 4. A healthy full term baby whose heartbeat stop 10 mins after epidural.

Miracle happen n I got pregnant shortly. With a gal too . I hang on to the faith that things happen for a reason.. Throughout the pregnancies I hang on to my 2 boys and hubby... Finally I deliver my baby gal at week 37 last week via csec. We do not want to take any risk as previously there was no cause to Ashley death.

I still miss Ashley a lot.. N one day I will meet her in heaven.

With this, I hope everyone stay string. GOod things will come your way soon.
 
Hi everyone,

Same here as magmag2804, it has been a while slightly more than a year that I last posted here. I lost my gal last year at abt 38-39weeks also due to lost of heartbeat. No reason given to me.. I felt like the world collapsed on me. The pain was excruciating. Though I broke down countless times after the delivery of my gal, part of me also wanted to recover faster n be strong for my family.

I was pregnant again 6mths later n successfully gave birth to my lovely healthy boy who is 5mths now. Occasionally I will talk to my boy abt her sister n I do miss her and think of her at times even up till now. Of course life moves on n she will always be remembered in my heart.

Hence I hope to give strength to everyone here after hearing my story and trust me, rainbow will come soon!
 
Thanks dreamer11.. year end is always when I get moody because both my 2 preg ended up in mc in nov 2011 and oct 2012. So likewise, I missed them too... Especially now, my sis is pregnant again, so is my friend. Next year, we will be married for 10 years.. and still no kids. Sigh...
 
Hi angel mummies,
I am new in this group..
My girl had loss her heartbeat as a fetus when I'm 7.5 month pregnant.. It was my first time pregnant, thus I do not have experience with it ..
At the 2nd day of cny 2014 I realise she had not been really moving for a day ..

Was induced 5 times..
Gave birth to her on 3rd Feb 2014, she weight about 1.25kg..

I had problem facing people who are pregnant after that ..
Till last week, I was tested positive again .. I hope this time round everything will be fine ..

Is there a Facebook group that we all can join and share our thoughts as a grieving mom tgt?
 


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