Support Group - Stillbirths

Dawn,

Yes you will. We will all be smiling again soon. When you hold your next little one in arms.

Is this your first baby?

It's so great to have a family photo. I regret not having one. As mine is so sudden, I couldn't think correctly and I don't have the time to react to everything. If I can turn the time round, I would want to do alot of things, which include taking more photos of Castiel, bath him for the one last time, dress him in the outfit that I bought for him. Kiss him goodbye. Tell him that daddy and mummy always love him.

But it is all regrets now. I can't do any of those at tat time as I'm not in the right state of mind. I wanted to dress him buy Mu hubby wouldn't let me. I cry so hard and blame him for not letting me dress him for the one last time. But think from another perspective, he just wanna minimize the hurt that I'm getting.

It's alright to feel that you wont be laughing or smiling again. I too had that kinda feeling at the initial stage. You will pass that stage gal, hang in there.
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Dawndew,

So sorry to hear about your loss. You will truly smile again one day, trust me. Just like I did.... I lost my 2nd boy on 4th July 2006, miracle happened to me not too long after. Then, I gave birth to a healthy boy at 4th July, 2007. 40 weeks to be exact gestation.

But then, tragedy happened to me again. Last yr, 9th November 2011. I lost my boy suddenly. Reason unknown. Same as your case, Gynae saw blood clots in the umbilical cord but also said it might be due to baby passing inside me thus caused the clots.

I'm now pregnant again. I was diagnosed with Diabetes and also Protein S deficiency. After getting much advice around, I was ruled out to be Protein S deficiency endangered as I managed to have healthy babies after all. And the lost of my 2nd boy was due to umbilical cord entanglement causing feotal distress.

What I realized is. I might have caused the baby's death. I had a super sweet tooth during my last pregnancy and drinking of plain water was almost non existant throughout the pregnancy. And I consumed large amount of carbo and Durians. I might have GD during that pregnancy without knowing it. My Gynae had also never tested me for it. Having GD so early into this present pregnancy, thus I suspect it might be the case. However, it's only suspecting.

What I learnt right now is, when we are pregnant, just take very good care of ourselves. Eat healthily and have a healthy lifestyle. DOn't think too much on the past. I have a recent stillbith just half a yr ago, but I pulled myself together for the sake of this baby. Smile whenever I can. And look forward to baby's birth.

Stay strong. We are all here for you.
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Hi all

I wondered if you all have any recollection of reading the newspapers last Oct on a demise of a 4 day old boy. It's my 2nd love child.

My 2nd son, Tristan, was born healthy, full term on 16 Oct through a normal delivery weighing at 2.7kg. Except for slight jaundice, he was good to go home. One day after being home, we sunned him and cleaned him up in the morning. After a crying after pssing motion and cleaning up, I walked out to eat my breakfast and went back to the room within the next ten mins. By then we found him, his heartbeat has already stopped. I called the ambulance immediately and they arrived in 7 mins. Through the journey, Tristan did not respond. When i reached KKH, a counsellor was waiting at the door outside A&E.

Several doctors went in and out and 1 hour later, they pronounced him officially dead. I never found out how he died thou the death cert reason stated as cardio failure. The question of why and what still stays in my mind till now. Such a short lived happiness.

I could not handle the pain but paperwork and procedures had to be done. I was too devastated to handle it so my husband had to go to the mortuary the next day at SGH to collect his body. But before that, poor husband had to go do BIRTH registration and proceed to DEATH reistration within the span of 15mins. Worst to come, he had to dress hhis baby in the romper he first bought for him and zip him up before heading to the cemetry. He had to proceed to choosing a nice photo and the colours of the tombstone for Tristan.

I only cried at home. Every single day...
Two months later, HSA sent a report stating the test report of death:"CONSISTENT WITH SIDS"

Moving forward, I want to share this story with all of you is because I moved on. WHY? I looked at my husband who controls his tears, comforting me everyday and suffering the pain that he has gone through but having to withstand it. And with this article, i realised its time to move on and stop torturing him with my tears.

This is how it goes:

To be a man in grief, SInce "men don't cry" and "men are strong", No tears can bring relef.
It must be very dfficult to stand up to the test and field calls and visitors so that she can get some rest.
They always ask if she is alright and what she is going through But seldom take his hand and ask, "My friend, but how are you?"
He hears her crying in the night and thinks his heart will break. He dries her tears and comforts her, but "stay strong" for her sake.
It must be very difficult to start each day anew And try to be so brave.
Cos HE lost his child too.

7 months now and we are still living in very much memory of him. I love him for who he is and believe it happened for a reason. And now... Im 4 mths pregnant and embracing our new joy.
 
Dear Dawndew,

I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. *hugs* Thank you for sharing your story with us. I feel your pain, having walked the difficult path of fertility treatment myself. To finally manage to conceive, only to lose her after such a long journey must be beyond heart wrenching.

We lost our son at 18 weeks on 23 March. Our due dates must have been only a week or so apart. Not a day has gone by when I don't think about him. Some days the tears flow freely, although not as much as in the 1st few weeks, on others I feel a huge ache in my heart and mourn the emptiness of my tummy.

We placed our boy's urn at the Christian Columbarium at CCK, although neither hubby nor myself are Christians. I've been there once every weekend since. I felt a lot of guilt at having to leave his ashes at the undertakers for 3 weeks+ while the marble plaque was being engraved, but hubby felt that bringing his remains home would have been too much for me to bear.

Yes, I know it hurts and yes, I know your heart feels like it's been ripped into shreds, never to heal again. I feel you, we all do.

I know that life will never go back to what it was before I lost my son. I am hopeful that one day I'll be able to smile again as will you, but I also know that there will always be that part of me that mourns our lost baby. I yearn for that lost innocence, that naivety in thinking that once we manage to get pregnant (surely that challenge in itself was sufficient, no?), we'll have a healthy, live, kicking, screaming baby at the end.

But I'm also hopeful that we will all one day hold a(nother) live baby in our arms.

In the meantime, we're here to listen and hold you and Dawn in our hearts.
 
Hi Horsie
actually it is hard to classify we are the imcompetance cervix group as we not having many times of reoccurence (*touch wood*), but we are not afford to have second time with the same reason, so my two different gynae also suggest the same thing which is have the cervix stitich, in case it dilate again..
 
during my pregnancy while I did my cervical cerclage, actually my cervix didn’t dilate and remain as healthy cervical length from the scanning result, my preterm delivery is due to infection. after delivered my girl, doc found the same infection from my bb and my placenta, that s quite rare infection according to the doc but they din tell me what is the name of the infection. they called me back to hospital to change my antibiotic to treat the infection.
 
horsie, we need to take extra extra precaution and very careful with our future pregnancy, do all neccsarry test to ensure our bb is ok and make more trips to see gyane, make sure bb is alright.
 
 
Hi dawndew,nope.all e reports were normal.
So I really duno y Donte's heartbeat stop.

My only guess was I was over stress up mentally n physically when I was pregnant with him.

E stress was right from the start coz I had bleeding N my r/s with hubby then was not tt gd as well.

I did all sort of carrying,lifting,packing on my own.
Even bringing my elder boy out on my own.

Donte was detected as a Down baby but it was a wrong diagnosis.
So before I found out it was a wrong diagnosis,I was so stress up over him being a Down baby.

Despite taking two months of unpaid leave at hm,I couldn't save him.
 
Dawn: Castiel, too, was our first born. I know it was hard. It hurts badly. But really hang on, you will pass this stage.
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Babyethan: I'm so sorry to hear what happen to Tristan. I seldom read newspaper. It must be really hard on you and your family.

I cannot imagine what you have been thru. It's beyond devesating..

Sometimes I wonder, since is it such rare things why does it keep happening to people? Since I shared my story how many of you ladies came in after that and within a very short span of 3 months? Haiz..

But I look forward to be like you, babyethan, I also wanna get pregnant soon!!
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Again, let's look forward to our rainbow baby!!
 
Hi Babyethanboy,

So sorry to hear about your story. Yes, I remembered about the newspaper report. And at that time, I was very pregnant. I was quite affected by the story and was telling my hubby, it's so hard for the parents to come to terms with that. I can totally feel for you as I also do have another friend whom lost her baby gal at 6 mths. Right after feeding milk. Also classified as SID.

Congratulations on your new pregnancy! You are 4 months on? Me too! When's your due date?
 
Hi all

I agree with all that it has been a very devastating process but i guess it happened for a reason. My husband and I worked through this and are much closer than before.

My EDD is Mid Oct. Afraid that the birth of thsi child will fall on the same day of Tristan on 16 Oct 2011.
 
Babyethanboy,

Sometimes, having the same birthdate is also fated. I had a colleague before. Her kids were 2 yrs apart. When she was pregnant with her 3rd child, she was telling me, don't know whether the baby will be born on same day as her first 2. As the first 2 were born on 17th October. I only told her, let nature take it's course. And cuteness sets in, her 3rd also was born 17th Oct. So, she has got 3 kids all born on the same date. 2 yrs apart.
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Ranice,

Although hubby and I were already prepared to find no cause from the various medical tests, it's still hard not to know why. Are you seeing the same obstetrician who took care of you and Donte for this current pregnancy?
 
Dawndew,

yup.is hard not knowing why.
If we know why Donte left,I probably will not be that guilty.

Nope.
I dun have a fixed gynae when I was having Donte.
Not in time to fix one.
The one that took care of me when I was having my 1st boy left KKH.
So when Donte's turn,I din go thru private side.

For this pregnancy,im under sub side first.
Which is the same as what I did for both the boys.
Sub side first then private.

Will fix only after I turn 4months.
Dont even know which gynae to choose now.
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I'm here again.

Today went for Down Symdrome test.
N e results are bad really bad.
Even worst than when I had Donte.

I'm worried,Shld i go for e amino fluid testing or Shld I not?
I did when I had Donte.
Idk does tt Indirectly linked to mi losing Donte.

I'm so afraid now while hubby doesn't feel anything at all n keep ask mi to go for e amino fluid testing.

Anyone have similar experience to share?
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Ranice,

I'm sure your hubby do feel something.
所谓，男人眼泪不轻谈。。。
He has to be strong for you to lean on in case of anything. Thus, he have to be the unwavering party. And I also will support you go for Amino Fuild testing.

My 3rd pregnancy, the one after my 1st Stillbirth, my Down Syndrome test came out to be 1 in 32. Which is very very very very high chance of real down Syndrome. I was also so so so afraid of Miscarriage, but in order to feel safer, I also went for the Amnio Fluid test. The miscarriage chances is only 5%. Which another specialist I am seeing now always tell me, positive mindset helps alot. Cos my Protein S Deficiency chance of happening is also 5% for my this pregnancy.

Please do not worry too much. Stress is much more stressful for baby as compared to the tests. We will all be here for you always.
 
Hi Ranice,

Few years back, when i was preggy with my 3nd child, the results of my down syndrome test was very bad, my chance of getting a DS child is 1 out of 10. My gynae advised me greatly to go for the amino test to confirm the results. I had bleeding since day 1 of my pregnancy, so was very worried that the test will cause miscarriage. I had miscarriaged my 2nd one 2 yrs b4. After discussing with my hubby, we decided not to take the test cos it might not be 100% accurate. Of course, we are mentally prepared to accept the outcome, whether or not our bb turns out to be down syndrome. I leave everything to GOD and prayed everyday.

My boy is 4 yrs old now, healthy and normal, very cheeky and naughty too.

U need to discuss with yr hubby of whether or not to take the amino test. If u decide not to, then don't worry so much, things might turn out differently, just like my case. Take care !
 
Hi Dawndew,

I'm sorry to hear your loss, and I totally understand how you feel. I had lost my baby Joelle on 5 Mar 2010 when she was 35 weeks. We had did various blood test, but we can't find what the cause of the stillbirth. It took me quite a while to get over it, though sometime I will still cry when I think of her...

Hubby and I had been trying hard for no. 2 6 months after I delivered baby joelle. Good new finally arrived in jul 2011. At that time, I had mixed feeling - happy, excited, stressed and worried. I was so afraid that the same thing may happen. Though we can't find the cause of the stillbirth, I had decided to change gynae to seek second opinion. Again, various blood tests were done, and all results look good xcept for protein S, which is slightly on the low side. Gynae had recommended me to take asprin in order to maintain the protein S level.

I had been very panicky during the whole pregnancy, always had the feeling that the baby was not kicking. There were few occasions that i rushed to the hospital just to make sure that baby had heartbeats.

I had monthly medical review during the first 28 weeks of pregnancy, and weekly medical review till 34 weeks, and bi weekly review in 35 weeks and finally delivered baby Jocelyn in 36 weeks. It was indeed a tough pregnancy, and I so blessed to have baby Jocelyn now, but I will always remember baby joelle who had left us.
 
I lost mine in January 2010 at 24 weeks. was having cramps for a day and made an appt to visit the gynae for a check the next day. However, that night, the pain became more severe and i kept having the urge to shit. WHen i went to the toilet, i realised that im bleeding! I quickly went to KKH A&E and they detected that i was having contractions. they gave me med and injections to stop the contractions, but it didn't help. gynae also did a cervix check and saw that i was already 5cm dilated. She told me to prepare for the worse. after 5 hours of contraction, i gave birth to my darling boy, En. gynae diagnosed me as incompetent cervix
 
Hi Mama_J (mama_j),
Just to ask, the gynae just diagnosed as incompetent cervix because you dilated? I lost my boy at 23 weeks 2 days as well. However, mine was water bag break and I rushed in immediately. However, 2 days later force to deliver as well.
How are you now? With kids? Me trying again now...
 
Hi Ling,

Thanks for your post. It's reassuring to read of other mothers with unexplained losses who went on to have healthy babies.

Congrats on baby Jocelyn!
 
Hi mama_j and horsie,now than I know there are others out there suffered same fate as me. I lost my eldest when he came out 23 gestation weeks. sigh. Same, due to contractions that couldn't stop.
But I was lucky, the doctors decided to save my boy cause everything was too sudden.
But he fight for two days, and left us...

I have two kids now, though also premature,but doing well. With lots of bed rest, I managed to hold my girl to 34 weeks.

With perservarance, determination, and strong will, nothing is impossible. Jiayou!
 
Hi kkf (kkf),

Thanks, not easy I know. Hope I can do it.. When you say you hold your girl to 34 weeks? Did you mean you have cervix incompetence? My gynae suspected that so I am going to do stitch for it...
 
Horsie, my case was similar to you. No pain no bleeding no contraction, just break when bb is 18 weeks. Gynae no reason given said could be weak cervix ans need stitches for next pregnancy.
 
Hi horsie, I don't have cervix incompetence. the gynae said if I experienced contractions, it is not cervix incompetence...I was not stitched for both my subsequent pregnancies.

I manage to hold my girl till 34 weeks by resting resting resting since the day I confirm my pregnancy. I took no pay leave, rest at home, minimise walking.
 
For 2nd boy, I only rest after 5th month, n in the end he came out 27 weeks. I think resting is very important.
 
It has been a long time since I come back here, the thread that helped me through the darkest part of my life. He was born on 29 August 2008. Today is his 4th anniversary.

He has two healthy younger brothers now born in Oct 2009 and Jul 2011. With the busy schedule and the two cute little ones, I don't know how many people around me still remember him.

My husband has chosen to "forget" about the incidence and I respect that it is his way of coping with the lost. I have chosen to always remember him and love him in my heart. The two younger ones do help to distract me but the pain has never gone away, just that I have learned to deal with the pain. I have a fear that someday, I might forget him due to the busy schedule as it is getting harder to remember him and I have less time to think about him. He will be part of me forever and I want to keep it this way. Miss you, darling!
 
Hi everyone..
I had a miscarriage last month when I was 5 months along my pregnancy. It was my first baby. Everything was fine all the while, one week before I even went for routine check and everything is good. But few days later I went back for detail scanning and that's when they cannot detect my baby's heartbeat.

It was a nasty shock, even my gynae couldnt tell me the reason why. Because it was a smooth pregnancy throughout. I was induced and done a mini confinement after that. When it happened I kept thinking how unfair it was, why it happens to me. I can't face anyone. My baby girl was fine all along, what had gone wrong? No reason, no answers. I just ended my first AF, hoping to TCC again soon.

Anyone here is already TCC-ing and have good news?
 
I realise I have not post whether I went for my amnio anot.
I went and Im expecting a baby boy with no DS.
I was so happy about it.

Im 27weeks now(a week longer than I was pregnant with Donte),but till date,most of my friends dont know that Im pregnant.I avoid meet ups totally.All because I dont know if this pregnancy will last smoothly till the end anot.

I still miss Donte so much.
Been almost 8mths since that day,I still cried whenever I tink of how alone he is now up in heaven without me by his side.
But I dont cried anymore when I mention about him to others.

Most of the times when Im pregnant with no2,I will tell them this one is my no3.But people will be shocked as they never seen my no2 before.

All I wish now is that this pregnancy will be smooth sailing till the end.
 
Hi princessangel,
I got pregnant after my first AF ends.
And Im currently pregnant with my 3rd boy

Was not really trying then though.
Was glad that I got pregnant.
 
Princessangel

I got pregnant with #1 after about 4 rounds of menses. We do not have any answer too for losing #0 at 34 weeks.

Ranice

Great to hear that your current baby is healthy.
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Many people also asked if #1 is my first one and I just tell them yes. But if they ask if #1 is my first pregnancy, I'll tell them no. #1 is my third pregnancy.

Yes, I've given him a number too. Zero comes before one so he is my #0.
 
actually my gynae is quite conservative and ask me to try after 3-6 mths. I thought 3 months shd be good enough? How do we actually know that our womb and body is ready for another pregnancy? Did your gynae gave you the green light soon after the lost?
 
Nope.
No one give me green light to go ahead n try.
In fact,e councilier ask me to try only after a year(use protection).
But I din really bother,i left everything with fate.
Since fate could took away my boy so suddenly,we couldnt control it.I just go with the flow.
 
Hi Princessangel,
Sorry to hear that.. U r not alone.. I lost by bb gal at 37+ weeks to no reason several mths back.. I had been a silent reader for this thread n most of the threads ard.

It's been a very tough period for me n my hubby but we hold on together to overcome any painful moments that came. Im also like you thinking what went wrong and why it happened to me, dun now how to face pple etc.. Everyone, my colleagues, my friends, my clients,, relatives knew I was gg to labour soon but I delivered a shock to everyone.. I had learn to embrace it and live on for pple who love me and be happy again despite some depressed moments whenever I think of my gal. I miss her everyday. Love yourself and build up your body first and try again. That's what I am doing now.. I know you may be anxious of trying again becos that's what I was thinking then and quickly 'patch' back the missing piece.. But after sometime I decided to wait n 'pui' my body back first to optimal level before trying again. Maybe I am afraid tat my body is not strong enuff,maybe I just want to avoid having near my gal's edd.. But I'm trying my best to kept my body at healthy level to be ready to try again.

Maybe you can give yrself sometime a mth or a few mths to be ready physically and mentally before trying. We will have our rainbow babies soon. Jia you.
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Hi dreamer, yes it's tough. Before i hv a baby bump and i return to office with a flat belly. People giving me weird stares and asking my close collagues about me. It just adds on especially seeing your colleagues pregnant. Some of them are insensitive enough to share their joy with me. Makes me emo at times. It's almost 2 months for me and I am getting better. Hubby has been great pillar of support. Actually I am not sure when my body will Be ready to TCC. But I m taking Folic and tonics now to pui. I am thinking of TCC next month end.

Let's be strong together and our rainbow babies will come soon
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Princessangel

I went to see the gynae after first menses as he instructed and after ensuring that the size of the uterus is back to normal and the follicles are ready to pop, he gave us the green light to TCC.

Yes, take more tonics. My health is better after confinement.
 
Hi all,
When we lost our baby, we always ask why us? Why so unfair? Why give us and take away. However, there is never a real answer to it. We can only take care of ourselves and move on. We may choose different way to remember or to forget. I choose to remember and wrote a book - To Baby With Love. Whatever it is, don't give up hope and try again. Try to trace any possible root cause and avoid such occurrences again. I told myself my 2nd baby is going to be born alive and healthy and I am doing all it take to make it true.
Good Luck!
 
You are right Horsie, dun give up and be positive. A positive mindset helps to keep us sane and and healthy for our next pregnancy.

Princessangel, i understand what u mean. For me, almost all of my colleagues knew what happen. Most are very encouraging but some are afraid to talk to me. My office is very big and I also try not to go to other dept incase pple who dun noe come asking me abt my bb. Very often i have people coming asking me how old is my bb now etc and i just have to embrance myself and tell them i lost my bb. And in my office, there are REALLY many new mummy or daddy to be.. I also dun noe why there so many ard me.. And sometimes i felt like im the 'posioned' one that it happened to me while everyone is busy celebrating their new born or their bb's first birthday.. Maybe god is training me to be strong in this way. Somehow i just happen to see alot of newborn babies and babybumps everywhere i go.. Maybe its the dragon year.. Hehe..

I changed my gynae and she told me your body will know when it is ready naturally. When it is not ready, body may not ovulate. Im also taking folic acid now.
 
Horsie, yes we have to be positive and try again!

dreamer: yes actually when i was on MC going bk office is one thing i dread very much. It's a phobia, but luckily it wasn't as bad as i thought. People will 'forget' about it soon. My colleague just told me yesterday that she is expecting a boy and knowing i lost my baby, she still keep sharing her joy with me, telling me about how her neighbour who's also pregnant and she will not be bored during maternity and many other stuffs.

Both my SILs are pregnant and giving birth this year. I did not contact them anymore but i just can't feel that god is so unfair to me. But to think it positively, maybe god has something plan out for us. All these things that happened just make us stronger, and we will treasure and love the next one even more.

So how many months you intend to TCC again? I thought about trying after 3 months.
 
Aiyo, yr colleague is a little insensitive.. Yours is considered MC or stillbirth? If MC i think u can try earlier.. One of my colleague's wife tried immediately after MC in her first trimester.. N caught pregant straight after. Gg to deliver soon alr..
I'll let my body recover abt six mths before trying.. Taking tcm stuff now to reguate my body.
 
Hi Ranice, congratulations to u! Its always encouraging to hear someone successfully pregnant and to give birth to healthy babies after MC or stillbirth. I have friends who came up to me giving me encouragements sharing abt their similar journey after knowing my loss which normally pple do not talk abt it.

Thankful to everyone here in this thread as well as it actually helped me pull thru my darkest period in life. It is shocking that it happened for many pple here yet comforting that we are not alone and we are here to encourage one another and share happiness again. There is always light at the end of the tunnel with our rainbow babies waiting for us. Big hugs to everone here.\(^ ^)/
 
dreamer, my considered stillbirth i guess. coz i was 20 weeks and my baby heartbeat stops. so have to be induced.

i heard that it's more fertile after a MC.. wonder how true? I never visit TCM but i am taking those common tonics too.
 
Dreamer,thanks.

Is really sad to see more mummies posting about their loss here.
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I always thought pregnancy are always smooth sailing in this era till it happen on me.

I prefer to talk it out/share with people what happen,rather than keep in my heart.

Princessangel,I dont tink yours is consider stillbirth under the law of spore.
From what I ask the Sister at KKH,in spore,stillbirth is only after 28weeks or 1kg baby.

My case was not too.
But I choose to say is a stillbirth than a MC as my baby is totally perfect.He will survive if he was born with a beating heart.T.T
 
Dear PrincessAngel,

I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. The circumstances of our losses are very similar. I also lost my first child, a girl. It was also an uneventful pregnancy till one day, I just didn't feel her move and went to see my gynae, only to discover that her heartbeat had stopped. She was 19 weeks then.

Besides coping with the immense grief, we still have to learn to cope with the insensitive or thoughtless comments of others. It's hard not to feel it's all so unfair and be bitter. I do have a few friends who empathize with my pain but by and large, I think only those of us who have been through this will appreciate how intense the pain of loss is. HUGS.
 
Ranice, I see. I read online that babies After 20 weeks is considered still birth as baby is already formed. Same here, I prefer to talk about it at times.

Dawndew, we have the same case, are you tcc now? Actually did your gynae told you when can tcc? Mine told me 6 months which I thought is kinda long.

Yep me and my hubby were very shock too because the baby growth was fine and up to 20 weeks. I often think is it me do anything wrong that cause my baby death. Yes I also wondering why all my Friends and people I know have smooth pregnancy but not me
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It's almost 2 months since my lost. Coping well and being positive, hoping to see my rainbow soon.
 
PrincessAngel,

The gynae who delivered my baby said I could try after 1 cycle. The gynae I saw for a second opinion said to try after 3 months.
 
Dreamer,

I'm so so sorry for your loss. It was so traumatizing for me at 19 weeks, I can only imagine how much worse it was for you.

Did you allow an autopsy on your child? Just typing the word "autopsy" makes me feel sick to the stomach. How can this word ever be used in the same sentence as "baby" or "child"?

Lucky 3+1,

I once read that losing a child is like losing a limb. Over time, we learn to live with the handicap but we'll never be the same again. So I believe you don't have to worry about forgetting your child. He will always be part of you.
 


Hi dawn,
It was indeed very traumatizing for me.. I felt like the world came crushing down on me and i just couldn't accept it.. I dun wish to face the reality then and i constantly hoped that i will wake up from that nasty nightmare but i didn't.. I lived on day by day thinking of my gal..Even up til now sometimes i will breakdown and cry. Yes, it was like denial initially n over time i accepted the cruel reality and learn to face the world once again. A part of me is gone with this. It is painful to know i am a bereaved mother.. Something all moms will hate to name themselves. But i have learned to be a better daughter myself to my mom and my perspective of life. Ya, my bb will always in my heart..

We didn't do an autopsy on our bb. It's like a harsh treatment to her. Even though we may find out the cause with that we chose not do it. If it was just like simple blood drawing we are fine but we were not advised so. In fact we were not in right frame of mind n felt like lost sheeps then not knowing what to do... Without a known cause, just got to be extra careful for my next pregancy. Did u do autopsy on yr bb? Actually i dun noe what exactly that will do if i allow that..
 
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