Support group - Single parents who needs a pair of ears or help i am here for anyone of U
- Thread starter mummyof2
- Start date
singlemomof3
Member
jaxe: it's hard to predict. Do you think he will want to be a parent and provide emotional support and physical resources? Would he prefer to immediately waive his rights? Would he, in the future, feel any differently? Times and circumstances do change people. Your best bet is to consult a lawyer and work out all the possibilities.
Thanks singlemomof3 and jaxe.
Though we are separated, we are still staying in the same flat but different rooms. He doesn't want to sell the flat now so have to wait till 3 years later. By the time my boy is 3 or 4yrs old, will he accept the situation that his dad suddenly doesn't stay with him?
Any idea what effect it will have on a 3-4yrs old kid??
Though we are separated, we are still staying in the same flat but different rooms. He doesn't want to sell the flat now so have to wait till 3 years later. By the time my boy is 3 or 4yrs old, will he accept the situation that his dad suddenly doesn't stay with him?
Any idea what effect it will have on a 3-4yrs old kid??
singlemomof3
Member
jeslyn: it's more difficult under these circumstances. Children at this age learn a LOT from the people around them. Worse, as they hardly speak, it's difficult to assess what they understand of the situation.
My youngest was 2 when his father moved out. He was already toilet trained and dry at night. After his father left, he started wetting the bed at night again. It's been three years and he's only close to where he was there; not dry at night yet. Looking back, this is the worst thing his father did to him.
Unless you are not close to your parents, I would suggest you find a way to tell them. You would cope better with their support (after their initial shock and anger towards him yes, they would be the help you need)
Your husband doesn't want to sell the flat as then he would have to rent a place or worse, stay with his parents. Do you think you would change your mind about the divorce in three years? Have you considered just filing for divorce (based on unreasonable behaviour) and custody of your child?
The current situation is very favourable for him and stinks for your child. What do YOU want?
My youngest was 2 when his father moved out. He was already toilet trained and dry at night. After his father left, he started wetting the bed at night again. It's been three years and he's only close to where he was there; not dry at night yet. Looking back, this is the worst thing his father did to him.
Unless you are not close to your parents, I would suggest you find a way to tell them. You would cope better with their support (after their initial shock and anger towards him yes, they would be the help you need)
Your husband doesn't want to sell the flat as then he would have to rent a place or worse, stay with his parents. Do you think you would change your mind about the divorce in three years? Have you considered just filing for divorce (based on unreasonable behaviour) and custody of your child?
The current situation is very favourable for him and stinks for your child. What do YOU want?
I thought that it's best for my boy to at least know he has a daddy.. I just want the best for my boy.. Children are innocent. Whenever I think of this, I just couldn't control my tears.
May I know based on what unreasonable behaviour? I do not have evidence of him committing adultry. He comes home every night, send my boy to my parents place everyday cos my mum is helping to look after him. He also fetch me from my work place most of the days and then we will have dinner at my mum's place and fetch son home.. What other behaviour is consider unreasonable? He did mentioned before I will have my boy.
I just do not want to worry my parents.. They will be heartbroken, don't know how they can take it..
Can you advise me on the unreasonable behaviour??
May I know based on what unreasonable behaviour? I do not have evidence of him committing adultry. He comes home every night, send my boy to my parents place everyday cos my mum is helping to look after him. He also fetch me from my work place most of the days and then we will have dinner at my mum's place and fetch son home.. What other behaviour is consider unreasonable? He did mentioned before I will have my boy.
I just do not want to worry my parents.. They will be heartbroken, don't know how they can take it..
Can you advise me on the unreasonable behaviour??
yea, having DOS but staying in the same flat definitely sounds like trouble to me. even if it is good for your child, what about the both of you? you two will have to keep guessing each other's next move. i can imagine it will be pretty awkward. 3 yrs is a long time. he may be coming hm now, but as time passes he might get more involved with the other woman (let's call her TOW) and things will change.
on the other hand, staying tog but w/o the stress of maintaining a marriage...might rekindle the flames of ur romance..tho this is rare
parents are often tougher than we thought. for my case, i only told them i was pregnant a mth before delivery (and i was overseas) and my dad handled it pretty well. u may consider telling the 'tougher' parent first (regardless of who u r closer to) and let him/her relate to the other. and since it was ur hb tt was unfaithful, i think they will feel more protective of u than heartbroken. in fact, they were more angry n disappointed tt i did not 'let them share the burden' earlier. put urself in the shoes of ur parents. if ur son has problems, wld u want to know and help him?
frm what u said, ur hb doesnt sound unreasonable and he is still qt responsible to u n ur son. i think it'll be gd if u can talk to him again abt staying tog. maybe u can consider stayin w ur parents? (tho be prepare tt Miss TOW and son might move in) they can take care of ur son n also offer emotional support. and if ur hb is determined to remain active in ur son's life, he will know his father is also available, regardless whether they stay tog or not.
will it harder for ur son to understand why his parents are still 'married' but not staying in the same rm and not talking? (even not now, it cld be in the future). children r very perceptive u know, they will pick things up frm ur body lang even when u try to put up a front. i rem i always tried to bring my parents tog..like suggesting outings etc..to an extend tt i felt it was MY responsibility.
yes. think about what YOU want. remember, happy mommy = happy baby!
(btw, did i mention my dd is also 6 mths
post a photo of ur ds!)
on the other hand, staying tog but w/o the stress of maintaining a marriage...might rekindle the flames of ur romance..tho this is rare
parents are often tougher than we thought. for my case, i only told them i was pregnant a mth before delivery (and i was overseas) and my dad handled it pretty well. u may consider telling the 'tougher' parent first (regardless of who u r closer to) and let him/her relate to the other. and since it was ur hb tt was unfaithful, i think they will feel more protective of u than heartbroken. in fact, they were more angry n disappointed tt i did not 'let them share the burden' earlier. put urself in the shoes of ur parents. if ur son has problems, wld u want to know and help him?
frm what u said, ur hb doesnt sound unreasonable and he is still qt responsible to u n ur son. i think it'll be gd if u can talk to him again abt staying tog. maybe u can consider stayin w ur parents? (tho be prepare tt Miss TOW and son might move in) they can take care of ur son n also offer emotional support. and if ur hb is determined to remain active in ur son's life, he will know his father is also available, regardless whether they stay tog or not.
will it harder for ur son to understand why his parents are still 'married' but not staying in the same rm and not talking? (even not now, it cld be in the future). children r very perceptive u know, they will pick things up frm ur body lang even when u try to put up a front. i rem i always tried to bring my parents tog..like suggesting outings etc..to an extend tt i felt it was MY responsibility.
yes. think about what YOU want. remember, happy mommy = happy baby!
(btw, did i mention my dd is also 6 mths
precious_gem
New Member
hello,
I'm back ... that much I can say for now. I'm just too upset ... I feel like a doormat!
I'm back ... that much I can say for now. I'm just too upset ... I feel like a doormat!
soundofsilence
New Member
Hi,
need URGENT advice on Personal Protection Order PPO. Anyone has gone thru this, please share your experience. Want to know what happens during the court 'mention' - does the judge question the complainant (me) more than the respondent (husband)? Is the burden of proof on me, meaning I've to try all ways and means to convince the judge I need the order? And if I can't convince him, and if husband denies ever being violent to me, then judge won't grant order?
What type of PPO did u get, i.e. what are the terms of the PPO granted to u? Hope someone can advice or share soon as I need info urgently. Thanks!
need URGENT advice on Personal Protection Order PPO. Anyone has gone thru this, please share your experience. Want to know what happens during the court 'mention' - does the judge question the complainant (me) more than the respondent (husband)? Is the burden of proof on me, meaning I've to try all ways and means to convince the judge I need the order? And if I can't convince him, and if husband denies ever being violent to me, then judge won't grant order?
What type of PPO did u get, i.e. what are the terms of the PPO granted to u? Hope someone can advice or share soon as I need info urgently. Thanks!
Hi SOS,
I went through the PPO thing.
Have you apply for it yet? You will need to go to the Family Court to apply 1st. Then a court summon will be sent to the respondent to attend court.
In the 1st hearing, the respondent will be met by the court workers and they will ask the husband whether he admit to what you had reported and grant you the PPO. If he agrees, then it's easy. Judge will not ask, and just say PPO granted and is from immediate effect.
However, if the hubby does not agree to grant the PPO to you, then the judge will immediately state another hearing date, where both of you have to attend again, and you can get a lawyer to fight for you. You can also provide the evidence yourself..
PPO doesn't only include violent actions. It also include being threaten and anything that he does that makes you fear of your own safety.
Hope this helps.
I went through the PPO thing.
Have you apply for it yet? You will need to go to the Family Court to apply 1st. Then a court summon will be sent to the respondent to attend court.
In the 1st hearing, the respondent will be met by the court workers and they will ask the husband whether he admit to what you had reported and grant you the PPO. If he agrees, then it's easy. Judge will not ask, and just say PPO granted and is from immediate effect.
However, if the hubby does not agree to grant the PPO to you, then the judge will immediately state another hearing date, where both of you have to attend again, and you can get a lawyer to fight for you. You can also provide the evidence yourself..
PPO doesn't only include violent actions. It also include being threaten and anything that he does that makes you fear of your own safety.
Hope this helps.
soundofsilence
New Member
hi crossroads,
thanks for replying. I've applied, but withdrew it (during the court mention) yesterday due to various reasons. Did ur hubby agree to the PPO?
thanks for replying. I've applied, but withdrew it (during the court mention) yesterday due to various reasons. Did ur hubby agree to the PPO?
melody_vin
New Member
My hub has another woman out. At first, he asked me to accept with the other woman in this life. He will still treat me the same and takes care of our two kids. He do not want a divorce cos he want the kids to stay in a healthy family. He do not want the kids to call other woman Mummy and other man Daddy.
I do not know what I should do now. I cannot accept the facts now. I do not wan a divorce.
I still need a man by my side. Im lost!
This is not the first time that he has other woman out. For the first time, abt 3-4 years back. I give him a chance, and we start all over again. Have two kids. Now again, he has woman again. He keep saying is my fault, if not other woman will never come in.. Im sad! I have been trying hard to take care of the family .. and this is wat I get. I do agree that we may faced some problem. but i used to tell him, let wait for the 2nd bb to grow bigger. I think we will manage our relationship. My kids are small.
Is it really my mistake to put in 100% of my kids?
Now he told me that let him some time, he will settle with that woman. and we will try our best to settle our relationship and salvage our marriage. Try to build up our bond and etc.. However, I do not know how long will he takes to settle ? and Can I win my hubby back.... ?
I do not know what I should do now. I cannot accept the facts now. I do not wan a divorce.
I still need a man by my side. Im lost!
This is not the first time that he has other woman out. For the first time, abt 3-4 years back. I give him a chance, and we start all over again. Have two kids. Now again, he has woman again. He keep saying is my fault, if not other woman will never come in.. Im sad! I have been trying hard to take care of the family .. and this is wat I get. I do agree that we may faced some problem. but i used to tell him, let wait for the 2nd bb to grow bigger. I think we will manage our relationship. My kids are small.
Is it really my mistake to put in 100% of my kids?
Now he told me that let him some time, he will settle with that woman. and we will try our best to settle our relationship and salvage our marriage. Try to build up our bond and etc.. However, I do not know how long will he takes to settle ? and Can I win my hubby back.... ?
shermaine_chn
New Member
those who wants a fast and easy divorce if u and your hubby consent to all the terms eg flat, child etc. can contact me i can do the paper work for u at a nominal fee.
tanlengleng
Active Member
Hi sri_leo,
how are you coping?
Are you a 1st time mummy?
When's your EDD & do you need BB's stuffs?
how are you coping?
Are you a 1st time mummy?
When's your EDD & do you need BB's stuffs?
pinkdemoness
Member
hi all, m a 28 single MTB...glad that there's a topic for single parent here...cheers...
btw i have a question, if my partner n i yet to rom when registering for bb birth, can i put his name as the father? or must the father column be left blank?
btw i have a question, if my partner n i yet to rom when registering for bb birth, can i put his name as the father? or must the father column be left blank?
hi all, let mi share mine...
i moved bac with my parents when my baby was 15mths old. now she is 8. legally, i m still married.
i maintain a very fantastico relationship with my inlaw, she babysitted her since birth til i got separated.
i stil do not know what was e reasons, that my marriage broke down. i only clearly remembered tat e daddy said he doesn't love mi anymor.
it was a quick decision, i decided not 2put up w his late nites, no commitments, no contributions 2mi n my baby. i never regret.
now, i m stil stayin w my parents (both working), my sister and of course, w e help of a maid, doin my best 2provide 4my girl. i thank GOD (i m actualy a freethinker, stil searchin) 4givin mi a very beautiful n obedient daughter.
i m proud of myslf....realy proud tat i ve came tis far.
i moved bac with my parents when my baby was 15mths old. now she is 8. legally, i m still married.
i maintain a very fantastico relationship with my inlaw, she babysitted her since birth til i got separated.
i stil do not know what was e reasons, that my marriage broke down. i only clearly remembered tat e daddy said he doesn't love mi anymor.
it was a quick decision, i decided not 2put up w his late nites, no commitments, no contributions 2mi n my baby. i never regret.
now, i m stil stayin w my parents (both working), my sister and of course, w e help of a maid, doin my best 2provide 4my girl. i thank GOD (i m actualy a freethinker, stil searchin) 4givin mi a very beautiful n obedient daughter.
i m proud of myslf....realy proud tat i ve came tis far.
wishful_thinking
New Member
hi all,
i m also a single MTB. 1st time mummy
i m also a single MTB. 1st time mummy
Hi mums,
It must be so hard to be a single parent. Hugs to all of you for being so brave. Here are some more inspiring stories for u all as well as dating tips!
http://sg.******************/articles/Divorce_and_your_kids
http://sg.******************/articles/Single_parents_Julie_Jenel_Yeo
http://sg.******************/articles/single_parents_dating_tips
http://sg.******************/articles/Raising_3_Kids_Single_Handedly
http://sg.******************/articles/The_Trials_of_Being_a_Single_Mum
It must be so hard to be a single parent. Hugs to all of you for being so brave. Here are some more inspiring stories for u all as well as dating tips!
http://sg.******************/articles/Divorce_and_your_kids
http://sg.******************/articles/Single_parents_Julie_Jenel_Yeo
http://sg.******************/articles/single_parents_dating_tips
http://sg.******************/articles/Raising_3_Kids_Single_Handedly
http://sg.******************/articles/The_Trials_of_Being_a_Single_Mum
wolfgirl76
Member
Hi... still alive, i hope. anyway, you can PM me. I am a single mother of a 3 y.o. princess.
or post here too.
or post here too.
Hi Tan Leng Leng..
so sorry for the late reply.. I forgotten abt my post here in the thread... I'm doing very well.. Happy wit DD... hehehe... very happy eventhough life can be sucks and challenging at times...
Hw are u then?
bony
Thanks! Yup, coping well...
U single mum too? where u stay?
so sorry for the late reply.. I forgotten abt my post here in the thread... I'm doing very well.. Happy wit DD... hehehe... very happy eventhough life can be sucks and challenging at times...
Hw are u then?
bony
Thanks! Yup, coping well...
U single mum too? where u stay?
tanlengleng
Active Member
Hi sri_leo,
I'm not a single mummy,
I'm a mummy to 2 kids & a baby,
if you may need kids essentials like clothes,
do let me know.
All of you are very strong,
JIA YOU!
I'm not a single mummy,
I'm a mummy to 2 kids & a baby,
if you may need kids essentials like clothes,
do let me know.
All of you are very strong,
JIA YOU!
tanlengleng
Active Member
Hi sri_leo,
no prob.
We live at Sengkang, not too far from you.
How old is your little one now?
no prob.
We live at Sengkang, not too far from you.
How old is your little one now?
tanlengleng
Active Member
10mths old is a great age,
she's testing her limits on everything now...
Food, toys, mummy's things, kitchen cupboard, the list goes on...
Our #3 is 12mths old now, very mischievious...
she's testing her limits on everything now...
Food, toys, mummy's things, kitchen cupboard, the list goes on...
Our #3 is 12mths old now, very mischievious...
Something to share. Perhaps you want to consider introducing 《弟子规》 to your kids.
个案：幼儿园有个小朋友，因是单亲家庭，从小跟着妈妈生活。妈妈又没有固定的工作。小朋友不会体谅妈妈的心情，有时妈妈心情不好。她还惹妈妈生气。结果老是挨打。学了弟子规后，变化特别大。过去妈妈越打她越倔强，就是不认错，也不躲避。现在妈妈一打她，她马上说：“我错了，下次一定改”！说着就跑开了。妈妈看见她有进步，“十一”国庆节还带她出去旅游了一趟。她回来后还跟老师说：“妈妈说了‘你听话，春节妈妈还带你玩’，我要好好学习弟子规，不再惹妈妈生气了”！
《弟子规》教案
第 三 课
教学目的：把孝心的观念引入到小朋友的心田。教育小朋友孝敬父母要从小事做起。不但孝，关键是顺。培养小朋友的感恩之心。
教学内容：《弟子规》一、入则孝 父母呼 应勿缓 父母命 行勿懒 父母教 须敬听 父母责 须顺承
教学重点：关键在落实上。一定要结合生活实际。让小朋友理解孝道的重要性。
复习内容：让小朋友复习上堂课的内容：弟子规——总序。齐声背诵。
讲解内容：
入则孝——过去古人非常讲究孝道。晚辈早上起来第一件事，就是要到长辈的房间向长辈“请安”。入；也是指在家中。
父母呼应勿缓：
父母呼唤我们，听到就应该马上答应，不要慢慢吞吞，半天不回答。表现出一种无理的态度，或者有抵触情绪，自己不高兴就不应声。比如；你正在看一个好看的电视，或者玩得正开心，父母叫你出来吃饭，你不答应。或者答应了半天还是不动。
父母命行勿懒：
父母让我们去做事，应立刻起身去做，不可拖延偷懒。或者高兴做就做，不高兴做就不做。还有的小朋友和家长讲条件，我做了你给我什么奖励？这都是不对的！
父母教须敬听：
父母在教育我们的时候，应该怀着恭敬的心去倾听。不要漫不经心，愿意听就听，不愿听就不听。否则，就是一个不听话的孩子。
父母责须顺承：
小朋友有时做错了事，家长会批评责备我们。我们要赶快承认自己的错误，虚心接受，不要让家长生气。有的时候，家长误解了孩子，这件事明明不怨你，可家长没搞清楚就责备你。作为晚辈，也不要急于辩解，等父母平静了你再解释。这才是真正做到了孝，而且顺。
结合生活实例讲解：
生活中有很多实例，父母呼唤我们；父母让我们帮忙做事；你是怎样做的？请小朋友自己去思考：自己哪些地方做的不够？常常见到一些孩子，自己玩的很开心。父母让其帮助做一点家务，他马上说我还要写作业呢！找借口不去做事。父母批评我们的时候，小朋友还嫌家长罗嗦，不高兴听批评。明明是自己做错了事，还满不在乎。故意惹父母生气。这些现象都是不对的。
父母抚养我们花费了很多辛苦，从小把我们养大，我们要用心去体会，感谢父母的养育之恩。不能挂在嘴上，一句爸爸妈妈我爱你，是远远不够的！要落实到行动上，就要从生活小事做起。
举例说明：母鸡孵小鸡的时候，母鸡身体下边放一堆鸡蛋，它天天趴在这堆鸡蛋上，用自己身体的热量，去温暖这些蛋。鸡蛋吸收了母鸡的血汗，慢慢变成了小鸡。母亲抚育我们的时候，也象抚育小鸡一样，非常艰辛。小的时候要喂奶、喂饭，换尿布，有病时背着你去医院，半夜起来喂药。风里雨里天天接送你去幼儿园。上学时为你拿书包，为你撑雨伞。做好了饭菜等着你回来吃。父母总是把最好吃的东西留着给你，可是我们的小朋友是否也能把最爱吃的饭菜留着给父母吃呢？不要以为父母为我们所做的一切都是应该的，我们要对父母有感恩之心，有报答之愿！有的小朋友说等我长大了有工作了就去抚养他们。世人说：“什么都能等，只有孝敬父母不能等！”让我们从今天就开始孝敬自己的父母。为他们做一点事。
提问：你的父母最喜欢吃什么？干什么？请小朋友回答！
不知道的小朋友回家问自己的父母，喜欢吃什么，干什么？让他们学着关心自己的父母，用心体会。
作业：今天回家吃饭时为母亲盛一碗饭，或者为父亲倒一杯水。帮助家里做一些力所能及的家务。比如：摆放碗筷、洗碗、擦桌子、扫地、倒垃圾。洗衣服、晾衣服、打扫房间。浇花、买菜、学做饭。
为父母捶背、按摩、倒洗脚水。可以根据情况任选一样来做。
教学体会：一定要有家长的配合。有的家长会不肯让孩子去做家务，怕打碎了东西。要向家长讲清楚，我们是在帮助家长培养孩子的品德，不从
小教育培养，懒惰的习惯养成了不好改正。适当的劳动也是开发孩子智力的必要条件，他会在劳动的过程中，自己动脑筋去做。做好了他也会有一种成就感！自豪感！不要娇惯孩子，是教育好孩子的前提条件。通过一段时间的培养，小孩都会有很大的变化。
More teaching materials can be found at http://www.dfg.cn
PM me if you would like to have a copy of the 《弟子规》 DVD - I'll mail to you for free.
个案：幼儿园有个小朋友，因是单亲家庭，从小跟着妈妈生活。妈妈又没有固定的工作。小朋友不会体谅妈妈的心情，有时妈妈心情不好。她还惹妈妈生气。结果老是挨打。学了弟子规后，变化特别大。过去妈妈越打她越倔强，就是不认错，也不躲避。现在妈妈一打她，她马上说：“我错了，下次一定改”！说着就跑开了。妈妈看见她有进步，“十一”国庆节还带她出去旅游了一趟。她回来后还跟老师说：“妈妈说了‘你听话，春节妈妈还带你玩’，我要好好学习弟子规，不再惹妈妈生气了”！
《弟子规》教案
第 三 课
教学目的：把孝心的观念引入到小朋友的心田。教育小朋友孝敬父母要从小事做起。不但孝，关键是顺。培养小朋友的感恩之心。
教学内容：《弟子规》一、入则孝 父母呼 应勿缓 父母命 行勿懒 父母教 须敬听 父母责 须顺承
教学重点：关键在落实上。一定要结合生活实际。让小朋友理解孝道的重要性。
复习内容：让小朋友复习上堂课的内容：弟子规——总序。齐声背诵。
讲解内容：
入则孝——过去古人非常讲究孝道。晚辈早上起来第一件事，就是要到长辈的房间向长辈“请安”。入；也是指在家中。
父母呼应勿缓：
父母呼唤我们，听到就应该马上答应，不要慢慢吞吞，半天不回答。表现出一种无理的态度，或者有抵触情绪，自己不高兴就不应声。比如；你正在看一个好看的电视，或者玩得正开心，父母叫你出来吃饭，你不答应。或者答应了半天还是不动。
父母命行勿懒：
父母让我们去做事，应立刻起身去做，不可拖延偷懒。或者高兴做就做，不高兴做就不做。还有的小朋友和家长讲条件，我做了你给我什么奖励？这都是不对的！
父母教须敬听：
父母在教育我们的时候，应该怀着恭敬的心去倾听。不要漫不经心，愿意听就听，不愿听就不听。否则，就是一个不听话的孩子。
父母责须顺承：
小朋友有时做错了事，家长会批评责备我们。我们要赶快承认自己的错误，虚心接受，不要让家长生气。有的时候，家长误解了孩子，这件事明明不怨你，可家长没搞清楚就责备你。作为晚辈，也不要急于辩解，等父母平静了你再解释。这才是真正做到了孝，而且顺。
结合生活实例讲解：
生活中有很多实例，父母呼唤我们；父母让我们帮忙做事；你是怎样做的？请小朋友自己去思考：自己哪些地方做的不够？常常见到一些孩子，自己玩的很开心。父母让其帮助做一点家务，他马上说我还要写作业呢！找借口不去做事。父母批评我们的时候，小朋友还嫌家长罗嗦，不高兴听批评。明明是自己做错了事，还满不在乎。故意惹父母生气。这些现象都是不对的。
父母抚养我们花费了很多辛苦，从小把我们养大，我们要用心去体会，感谢父母的养育之恩。不能挂在嘴上，一句爸爸妈妈我爱你，是远远不够的！要落实到行动上，就要从生活小事做起。
举例说明：母鸡孵小鸡的时候，母鸡身体下边放一堆鸡蛋，它天天趴在这堆鸡蛋上，用自己身体的热量，去温暖这些蛋。鸡蛋吸收了母鸡的血汗，慢慢变成了小鸡。母亲抚育我们的时候，也象抚育小鸡一样，非常艰辛。小的时候要喂奶、喂饭，换尿布，有病时背着你去医院，半夜起来喂药。风里雨里天天接送你去幼儿园。上学时为你拿书包，为你撑雨伞。做好了饭菜等着你回来吃。父母总是把最好吃的东西留着给你，可是我们的小朋友是否也能把最爱吃的饭菜留着给父母吃呢？不要以为父母为我们所做的一切都是应该的，我们要对父母有感恩之心，有报答之愿！有的小朋友说等我长大了有工作了就去抚养他们。世人说：“什么都能等，只有孝敬父母不能等！”让我们从今天就开始孝敬自己的父母。为他们做一点事。
提问：你的父母最喜欢吃什么？干什么？请小朋友回答！
不知道的小朋友回家问自己的父母，喜欢吃什么，干什么？让他们学着关心自己的父母，用心体会。
作业：今天回家吃饭时为母亲盛一碗饭，或者为父亲倒一杯水。帮助家里做一些力所能及的家务。比如：摆放碗筷、洗碗、擦桌子、扫地、倒垃圾。洗衣服、晾衣服、打扫房间。浇花、买菜、学做饭。
为父母捶背、按摩、倒洗脚水。可以根据情况任选一样来做。
教学体会：一定要有家长的配合。有的家长会不肯让孩子去做家务，怕打碎了东西。要向家长讲清楚，我们是在帮助家长培养孩子的品德，不从
小教育培养，懒惰的习惯养成了不好改正。适当的劳动也是开发孩子智力的必要条件，他会在劳动的过程中，自己动脑筋去做。做好了他也会有一种成就感！自豪感！不要娇惯孩子，是教育好孩子的前提条件。通过一段时间的培养，小孩都会有很大的变化。
More teaching materials can be found at http://www.dfg.cn
PM me if you would like to have a copy of the 《弟子规》 DVD - I'll mail to you for free.
学习《弟子规》一个月，顺顺的变化
source: http://club.baby.sina.com.cn/redirect.php?tid=131781&goto=lastpost
自从有了顺顺，一直都在用心地教孩子，学习《弟子规》之后，我才发现之前教顺顺我忽略了培养德行中最为基础的“孝悌”，也发现自己之前做得也不好。“不力行，但学文，长浮华，成何人”。如果不教孩子“孝悌”，光注重孩子的才艺、智力的培养，这样培养出来的孩子“自私”、“傲慢”，缺乏恭敬之心，将来有可能能力越大对社会的危害也越大。
接触《弟子规》之前，顺顺将要满三岁那段时间，顺顺脾气已渐长，大人说她什么都不听，那段时间，天天气得我内火中烧。听了《幸福人生》的讲座，我才知道问题出在哪里了。原来对孩子来说生活中点点滴滴都是教育，比如：生活中我出去买东西，想到的都是孩子，有了好吃的都是留给孩子吃，不光我这样，家里的爷爷奶奶更是有了好吃的自己不舍得吃，要留给孙子吃，时间长了孩子自己会判断“在这个家里我最重要”。自然，在得不到满足的时候叫得最高；想做什么就要做什么，不管能不能做；对长辈动不动就吼。
之后在生活中，我买东西时想到是给顺顺买的，但回到家里，说是给姥姥买的（这段时间姥姥在我们家），然后先拿给姥姥吃；在顺顺吃东西时，我们也要求她先给长辈吃；注意提醒她向长辈问好；在上下楼时，遇到邻居长辈时也要做到“长者先，幼者后”；对于顺顺说话的口气也注意提醒她不能有不敬。
经过一个多月的学习，顺顺在很多方面都有很大的进步，比如：
以前早上起来，顺顺还没有睡醒的情况下，一睁眼看到我，已经起床，她会用恶狠狠的语气命令我：“躺下”。现在，顺顺醒来，会对我说：“妈妈请你陪我睡一会”，听到她这么说，我和她都欢喜地笑了；
这几天，顺顺也不再要我陪她睡了，而是自己起来穿上鞋，自己来找我了；
在吃东西的时候，吃再喜欢的东西都会让姥姥、爸爸、妈妈先吃一口；吃再好吃的东西都会让爸爸妈妈和她一起吃，还会挑出大的好的，让我们吃，嘴里还是“大的大人说，小的小孩吃”；
现在发脾气的时候比以前少多了，但有时不让她做的事情她还会背着大人做；犯过的错误提醒过还会再犯。
source: http://club.baby.sina.com.cn/redirect.php?tid=131781&goto=lastpost
自从有了顺顺，一直都在用心地教孩子，学习《弟子规》之后，我才发现之前教顺顺我忽略了培养德行中最为基础的“孝悌”，也发现自己之前做得也不好。“不力行，但学文，长浮华，成何人”。如果不教孩子“孝悌”，光注重孩子的才艺、智力的培养，这样培养出来的孩子“自私”、“傲慢”，缺乏恭敬之心，将来有可能能力越大对社会的危害也越大。
接触《弟子规》之前，顺顺将要满三岁那段时间，顺顺脾气已渐长，大人说她什么都不听，那段时间，天天气得我内火中烧。听了《幸福人生》的讲座，我才知道问题出在哪里了。原来对孩子来说生活中点点滴滴都是教育，比如：生活中我出去买东西，想到的都是孩子，有了好吃的都是留给孩子吃，不光我这样，家里的爷爷奶奶更是有了好吃的自己不舍得吃，要留给孙子吃，时间长了孩子自己会判断“在这个家里我最重要”。自然，在得不到满足的时候叫得最高；想做什么就要做什么，不管能不能做；对长辈动不动就吼。
之后在生活中，我买东西时想到是给顺顺买的，但回到家里，说是给姥姥买的（这段时间姥姥在我们家），然后先拿给姥姥吃；在顺顺吃东西时，我们也要求她先给长辈吃；注意提醒她向长辈问好；在上下楼时，遇到邻居长辈时也要做到“长者先，幼者后”；对于顺顺说话的口气也注意提醒她不能有不敬。
经过一个多月的学习，顺顺在很多方面都有很大的进步，比如：
以前早上起来，顺顺还没有睡醒的情况下，一睁眼看到我，已经起床，她会用恶狠狠的语气命令我：“躺下”。现在，顺顺醒来，会对我说：“妈妈请你陪我睡一会”，听到她这么说，我和她都欢喜地笑了；
这几天，顺顺也不再要我陪她睡了，而是自己起来穿上鞋，自己来找我了；
在吃东西的时候，吃再喜欢的东西都会让姥姥、爸爸、妈妈先吃一口；吃再好吃的东西都会让爸爸妈妈和她一起吃，还会挑出大的好的，让我们吃，嘴里还是“大的大人说，小的小孩吃”；
现在发脾气的时候比以前少多了，但有时不让她做的事情她还会背着大人做；犯过的错误提醒过还会再犯。
hi anyone here?
i am not single mummy yet.. mom to a 1 yr old boy. Intending to divorce with hubby. can anyone advise what will happen to the custody of the child if we divorce? if he refuses to divorce, what will happen? if we divorce, and he fights for the custody of the child, will he get it?
thanks
i am not single mummy yet.. mom to a 1 yr old boy. Intending to divorce with hubby. can anyone advise what will happen to the custody of the child if we divorce? if he refuses to divorce, what will happen? if we divorce, and he fights for the custody of the child, will he get it?
thanks
ideal_alone
New Member
Happen to browse through this website and saw your message. We are in the same boat. Just that, my son is only 4months old.
Your queries are mine too. I read from a few other websites, threads, mentioning, the custody of the child will be given to the mummy if the child is below 10yrs old.
I find the other website quite a lot of single mummies too. Maybe you can read from there to find what you need to know also.
http://www.moms4moms.info/v3/viewforum.php?f=73&sid=610e7721e1cc577e300dc57c13ecd851
Your queries are mine too. I read from a few other websites, threads, mentioning, the custody of the child will be given to the mummy if the child is below 10yrs old.
I find the other website quite a lot of single mummies too. Maybe you can read from there to find what you need to know also.
http://www.moms4moms.info/v3/viewforum.php?f=73&sid=610e7721e1cc577e300dc57c13ecd851
dawn_ang88
New Member
hi kelly and ideal_alone,
just to share..if u divorce with kids of such tender age, u will sure get custody of the child unless your husband can prove that u are not a good mother, cannot look after the child or bad influence for the child. eg. if drug addict, prostitution, mental problem,abuse the child etc.
just to share..if u divorce with kids of such tender age, u will sure get custody of the child unless your husband can prove that u are not a good mother, cannot look after the child or bad influence for the child. eg. if drug addict, prostitution, mental problem,abuse the child etc.
myra_smith
New Member
hi shisan, glad to be here. i m single mum with 4 yrs old dolly gal. I was separated with my husband since i m expecting my gal, heavily pregnant 8months.
hope your preggie going well!!
hope your preggie going well!!
Hi,
I am a new mother and am still in my 1st trimester. I have been married for 4 years (after 2 years courtship).
Folks initially thought my husband and I are an odd couple cos he is so wild and I am so tame... but opposites attract. He is a good man - and I still think he is. We have made a lot of sacrifices for each other and compromises. I kept to my vow to commit to him for better, for worse.
Just a month ago, my husband told me that he had gradually lost his feelings and desire for me over the last year or so. He thought it was a passing phase but it grew to a point that it affected him. He felt he was living a lie and 'cheating' me. The baby became a catalyst - he had to tell me what he went through. He basically wants to give up and let me go... he is not able to find the desire for me even though he has tried time and again. The saddest part is that he thought the baby would change his feelings for me but he is not ready to be a father and he even resents his child for complicating matters... He feels a strong need to be free... to be his old wild single self.
It pains me to know that the love of my life wants out and is ready to let us go. I sensed a few months back something was not right but i dismissed the signs... I certainly never saw the baby as tool to manipulate him or to save the marriage... i just wanted to be a mother and raise a family with him.
We are now seeing a counsellor and are committed to working out the issues.
I have talked to a lot of frens - they give me alot of advice and support. I am tired of thinking about this - it does not help my hormones are making me more emotional and needy and yet I can't have his care and love. But one day, I need to face up and make a decision which can't be done overnight.
Facing the future is going to be painful - i see so many of you, wives and husbands, hurting but yet brave to either carry on or move on. I am so fearful for my child and myself. The key things keeping me sane are God, my family and my good frens.
I have been hearing from people who have similar experiences as me - but i wonder at this forum if there is anyone who is in my husband's position? I don't blame my husband for the hurt he has done - he is sorry for it but he is equally confused as me.
I would be very grateful if you could share with me cos i really want to be able to see from my husband's perspective (and I believe him that there is no 3rd party) and be able to help him.
I am a new mother and am still in my 1st trimester. I have been married for 4 years (after 2 years courtship).
Folks initially thought my husband and I are an odd couple cos he is so wild and I am so tame... but opposites attract. He is a good man - and I still think he is. We have made a lot of sacrifices for each other and compromises. I kept to my vow to commit to him for better, for worse.
Just a month ago, my husband told me that he had gradually lost his feelings and desire for me over the last year or so. He thought it was a passing phase but it grew to a point that it affected him. He felt he was living a lie and 'cheating' me. The baby became a catalyst - he had to tell me what he went through. He basically wants to give up and let me go... he is not able to find the desire for me even though he has tried time and again. The saddest part is that he thought the baby would change his feelings for me but he is not ready to be a father and he even resents his child for complicating matters... He feels a strong need to be free... to be his old wild single self.
It pains me to know that the love of my life wants out and is ready to let us go. I sensed a few months back something was not right but i dismissed the signs... I certainly never saw the baby as tool to manipulate him or to save the marriage... i just wanted to be a mother and raise a family with him.
We are now seeing a counsellor and are committed to working out the issues.
I have talked to a lot of frens - they give me alot of advice and support. I am tired of thinking about this - it does not help my hormones are making me more emotional and needy and yet I can't have his care and love. But one day, I need to face up and make a decision which can't be done overnight.
Facing the future is going to be painful - i see so many of you, wives and husbands, hurting but yet brave to either carry on or move on. I am so fearful for my child and myself. The key things keeping me sane are God, my family and my good frens.
I have been hearing from people who have similar experiences as me - but i wonder at this forum if there is anyone who is in my husband's position? I don't blame my husband for the hurt he has done - he is sorry for it but he is equally confused as me.
I would be very grateful if you could share with me cos i really want to be able to see from my husband's perspective (and I believe him that there is no 3rd party) and be able to help him.
i posted the message as a separate thread... but just needed a listening ear... i cry less now but the pain is still there. whatever i have tried to do, it pushes him further away from me and more resolute to leave me... I am very afraid of having the baby cos life will be so tough for the little one. But my Christian values prevent me from aborting... just very devastated
blur_blur84
New Member
Hi,
I'm single mother, my gal will be going K1 next yr her english still not very gd and she does not complete her sch wrk. Her writing is average only wat shld i do?? My own english is olso not tat gd, i'm stress..
I'm single mother, my gal will be going K1 next yr her english still not very gd and she does not complete her sch wrk. Her writing is average only wat shld i do?? My own english is olso not tat gd, i'm stress..
yoyokomama
New Member
Hmmm...I'm glad to find this thread but also sad to see that it's no longer active...
I have found my hub affair 6 mths ago and I have a 2.5yrs old child... Though he seems remoseful over his act now but its seem very difficult for me to endure anymore as he almost got into other affair 7-8 yrs old which I had forgiven him..
he had beaten me once in the marriage becos he got drunk. I knew he ever visited some pubs where there's hostess around cos he ever brough me there... he admitted he ever touch one of them just for entertainment only cos he went with his friends...
we hv been togather since i was 19 and now i'm 32..
all my youth gone becos of this man..
Anyone who share the similar problem as me? can pm me?
I have found my hub affair 6 mths ago and I have a 2.5yrs old child... Though he seems remoseful over his act now but its seem very difficult for me to endure anymore as he almost got into other affair 7-8 yrs old which I had forgiven him..
he had beaten me once in the marriage becos he got drunk. I knew he ever visited some pubs where there's hostess around cos he ever brough me there... he admitted he ever touch one of them just for entertainment only cos he went with his friends...
we hv been togather since i was 19 and now i'm 32..
Anyone who share the similar problem as me? can pm me?
Are you having difficult sleeping during the night?
For those who need someone to talk to or just someone to listen to your problems, I am working on night-shift(will be awake throughout the night). Just PM me and maybe we can exchange contacts. Sometimes all we need is a little support from the people around us, even if we do not even know them well
For those who need someone to talk to or just someone to listen to your problems, I am working on night-shift(will be awake throughout the night). Just PM me and maybe we can exchange contacts. Sometimes all we need is a little support from the people around us, even if we do not even know them well
I wish i can be a single mum than a married but living with a 'stranger' with my children. All single parent out here, you are given another chance to live your own life with your loved ones (children). I envy all of you who has custody. I do not have the courage to divorce because i might lose and i cannot lose my children. My life is miserable than a single parent, i need to pretend to still have partner. If i dont have one, i can still seek for the one who really love, care and share the life journey together with me. I cannot have such person now as people still see me as married, sigh but i am leading the most lonely time of my life ever. I can only wait till my children are big then divorce but i will be old by then.
