Support group - Miscarriages

Dear Angela,
i am very shocked and sad to read your posting.
i referred back to the postings in 2006 and back then we were talking to one another. I feel very very sad reading your recent encounter. Why why why...incompetent cervix is taking away innocent lives and we are so helpless.
Just a recap for you, i lost mine bb to i/c as well at 25 weeks. Altho it has been a year already, i feel the pain whenever i think back. i am still childless for you info too.
i am not ttcing cos after the lost last year, body too traumatised, my hormones still imbalance till now. Menses still haywire.

Now, i know it is going to be real tough for you to go thru your confinement. My email is [email protected] feel free to email me if you need to talk to someone regarding i/c. Or msn me.
 


hi eternity_star, did the physician at ying chuan tell u u have pcos and endometriosis? she's being mentioned in several threads; it seems like lots of ppl have gone to her and get the same diagnosis and recommendations (to chris chen who will eventually recommend surgery or some expensive treatment). i'm glad u've already read those threads and are taking what she said with a pinch of salt. there are some other good tcm practitioners with good reviews in this forum; maybe u could try going to one of them instead. i think it's inevitable to go through a period of grief before life calms down and we start looking forward again. don't bottle your feelings up ok. if u can't talk to your family/friends because u don't want them to worry, u can always come in here and pour it all out.

hi kit_mum2b, i hear that bee pollen helps make strong little 'soldiers'. tcm-wise, i think kidney-related tonics are good for the male sexual health generally. can ask your tcm practitioner when u see him next time ba. did he say your wind is better now?
 
Hi Witty,
Yes, I have been MIA for a while from this thread but have been reading the post quietly...

Angela, take time to grieve and forget abt TTC for the moment...like apple, I hope I can do something for u too...do come in and chat w us and we all will lend u a shoulder to cry..take care
 
Hi Xuanting,

Yes, indeed she said I got PCOS and even write it down on a pc of paper and ask me to pass to Chris Chen to see if her words are right? I read before abt the symptoms of PCOS and I did told her that I dun experience those symptoms she mentioned but she insisted that she was right? Hmmm...

I'm glad I decided to read up more about Chris Chen before going to him..

I will be visiting another Gynae next Wed and hopefully I can get some answers before I prep myself in anticipation for the next.

This is a great forum to be in as it's pretty hard to talk to frens about it and I dun want my hubby to be worried about me as I know he's oso upset about the recent loss, he has been trying to cheer me up and do things that won't remind me about it.

He also bought me a lot of supplements to build up my health, like Royal Jelly and Pre-natal vitamins for woman who are TTC. He also bought a supplement known as Maca, which is suppose help in fertility and virility for males and it also help in balancing hormones for the females.

Am giving it a try and hope to build my health back now
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Hi Angela, am very sorry for what you had to go through... Take good care of yourself & in time to come, when your body & heart heals, you'll be blessed again. Hugs...

TCM
seems like quite a few of you seeing chinese sinseh to 'tiao' your body... I've acutally been to see one (in Bedok) due to work stress & insomnia 2 years ago. But it was so exp! Like $50 for 4 days of medication... So can't help being wary. May I know if there are any good ones around to recommend?
 
Hi Sandy,

Not sure if this is good, was recommend by someone else.

Try this chinese doctor in Blk 81, Marine parade. "BAN CHOON CHAN MEDICAL HALL". Be there early as the queue there is terrible and waiting time is horrible. Whether you both can conceive or not, he will tell u on the spot. You will be surprise that his result will be the same as your gynae. If he think that you need treatment, let him do it. Inexpensive herbs to be boiled and drink. Think You will need to visit him when your menses is due and he will change his herbs to boost up your body. Don't go alone, bring your hubby along so that at the same time, he will treat your hubby too, better than taking sperm count test.
 
hi gals,
may i know u all taking any pre-natal supplement (mega women)from GNC?because few days ago, i bought folic and staff from GNC recommend me the mega women for thise TTC-ing..
 
Hi Piggy Mummy,

I'm currently taking the "Pre-natal" Multi Vitamins from Nature Farm, it's for 2 mths supply which contains folic as well as calcium
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Think after what we have all been through, we will be a better person and more sensitive towards others' feelings. Like my colleague who is pregnant, she cannot stop complaining the problems the pregnancy brings for her, how unexpected, like v wei qu and all the trouble abt child care blah blah blah. Feel like telling her to count her blessing and stop being such a B****. And all after she knows abt me. always feel terrible after talking to her.
 
Also there's a chinese doc from thong chai (Tong Ji) who operates night clinic in Hougang every tue, Thu and sat afternoon in a medical shop. At Blk 322, Hougang Ave 5 Teck Chua Medical. Those convenient can try there also. But she believes no bu for the woman but to take only what she prescribes. according to her guys can take the dong chong chao but not woman.
 
Hi, I've been reading all the postings since I lost my baby 4 weeks ago.
I didn't even know I was having contractions and by the time I got to the hospital and they managed to stop the contractions, I am already fully dilated. All in less than 12 hrs...1st child. How come others take 24 hrs at least?!
Gynae said it'll only be less than 48 hours before I have to deliver. My baby was only 25 weeks + 3 days. Paediatrician said 95% baby will not be normal. We chose to let him go. It's been agony trying to come to terms with this decision ever since. I cried & cried after reading about Angela and how she fought for her 24 weeker. Gynae said my baby's eyes still fused, so means not mature yet, so means he will suffer even in NICU...so it was a kinder thing to do. Is it? I will always wonder... Until now I only know the contractions were supposedly triggered by an infection of the uterus...how it got there? what is it? No ans.
Anyway I just want to let you all know (and those on the other support group for stillbirths) that reading your postings helped. Thank you. And all the best to those tccing, and those already pregnant. I used to think getting pregnant = having a kid. Now I know better...
 
hi eunice72, i agree with u. after going thru this m/c, i've learned not to take things for granted and to empathise with others with fertility problems. i think it's best u don't go too near that colleague of yours if she makes u feel worse unless u can actually pluck up your courage and tell her very sadly and politely that she sometimes makes u feel very terrible (imagine her reaction!). some people just blab happily away without sparing a thought for others and a little stunning/embarrassment might just shut them up.

hi sandy, i think the cost depends on the ingredients in your medicine ba. in my case, sometimes quite cheap, sometimes can be quite ex. did the bedok tcm help with your insomnia?
 
hi jessie, i'm sorry to hear about your baby. it's a difficult decision no parent should ever be forced to make. please don't blame yourself for it. i am sure your baby felt everything you felt while it was in your womb and understands your pain and dilemma, and feels your love and heartache for it.

please take care and do come in and chat if you feel like talking.
 
Hi angela and jessie
I am very sorry to hear about your loss. Please take time to grieve about it. Deep down I know the hurt and pain will never go away and we will always ask why me. But know that you are not alone and we are here to share your pain. Please come in here anytime you all feel like talking to someone.


Hi eunice
I agree with xuanting. Perhaps you should just tell her that her comments are making you very uncomfortable. All of us here are dying to have her so called sufferings even if hundred fold but yet she's just complaining. Go speak to her gal!
 
Hi.. just to check with you all.. is seeing a fertility specialist better or see TCM practioner to bu the body better? My hubby is quite stressed that both of us are not fertile so we are thinking of seeking medical help. Eternity, is your TCM good? If so, we will pay him a visit...
 
Jessie {{HUGS}}, take time to grieve and time will lessen the pain.

Since my loss more than 4 mths ago, I also have been reading this thread although I post mostly on the other thread on stillbirth. Whether it is a m/c or stillbirth, it is a loss and a sorrowful pain in our hearts. I lost mine at 24 weeks too and was ignorant before my loss. Now I am more sensitive and understanding of people's feelings.
 
Hi Jessie,

I'm sorry to know about your loss, I can understand what you are going thru
sad.gif
Do take care of your health for the time being...

Hi Roxyz,

It's tough for me to advise whether it's better to see a fertility specialist or seek TCM treatment, I think Chinese herbs help in a certain way w/o harming our body unlike Western Medicine, besides unless being diagnosed with complicated issue which might require surgery and etc.. I think for me for the time being, I will prefer to seek TCM at least it builds and try to correct our body in a way or so.

Maybe a gynae/fertility specialist could do a scan or some tests to determine what's really wrong in the first place. At least, we are aware wat's the root of the problem.

What TCM does I guess is to correct such imbalances in a way or so.

The Chinese sinseh I went to is quite "well known for her field in helping pple to conceive". I think there's some success cases of those who went to her bah.
 
hi jessie, welcome here. I found a lot of solace and understanding in this thread too. Do take care there.

I have moved into my second trimester and the twins are really growing. I feel the belly stretch and it's so uncomfortable. My scan and blood tests have good results so the gynae is happy and positive. However, I am reaching the "danger zone", which is anytime within these few weeks where the problem occurred last time round and it is so traumatic to pass through the same phase again. But i'm not giving up(or at least i tell myself). Thanks for giving me this space to share all these cos it's impossible for hubby to feel how i feel.
 
Hi Roxyz,

I have tried TCM. It did helped me nurse my health, no cramp sensation after D&C, unlike my 1st mc. The TCM (recommemnded and quite reputable) also helped track my cycle and tell me things like exact when i am O, when to BD, how to BD, what food to avoid. For the longest time (3 months), i was very dependant on her and look forward to seeing every weekend. Then i fall ill and had high fever (maybe the chinese med is too strong for me, i drank non-stop daily for 3 months). TCM told me to stop and rest and come back when i am better. I stopped and got preggie the two months after (thats my 2nd preggie). Everything went well, i even see my bb's heartbeat but i lost it at week 13 due to chromosome defect of the bb. I was thinking it could be due to the chinese herb i take? no answer...but i didnt go back to that TCM again cos when my AF went missing for 3 months, i called her for advice, she told me to go thru another D&C (also suggested by my gynea then, who work closely with her). It was traumatizing not knowing if i suffer from asherman's syndrome or not. Gynea did not suggested another option except 2nd D&C to insert a balloon to allow AF to flow thru. He wasnt even sure if thats the cause of my missing AF! I guess my sixth sense alerted me not to go thru. Subsequently, i went to seek another gynea - Prof Wong NUH. He suggested a better method which is to take medicine to induce AF, only if the AF still doesnt come after induction, he would perform a lap to check. Rest is history...and i am glad i made the decision of saving myself going thru another D&C within 3 months. My opinion of TCM has since changed. It was too stressful having to brew med every other nite and BD at wee hours, both me n HB were stressful out and TCm didnt help either by giving us alot of pressure abt our age..

I am done with TCM (at least for now) and choose to nurse my healthy with nature aids like a good diet, vitamins, exercise and regular bu stuff (common stuff like dang gui, bird nest) I think sometimes it is true we are not sure what content certain chinese herbs contain and if it cause damage. My gynea prohibit me to take any chinese med when i was expecting with the same reason.

Just my 2 cents worth of experience..hope it helps
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Roxyz,
btw, u might want to visit a fertility specialist 1st, who knows u guys are fertile, just that u missed the O period. TCM can be on the side-track to nurse yr body (if u have decided), afterall TCM usually takes a while to see effect.
happy.gif
 
Dear Jessie, i am sorry to read about your loss. May i ask if your condition is incompetent cervix,i/c? A few ladies here including myself lost our babies to i/c. And the lost all happened during the 20+weeks gestation.

If your prognosis is i/c too, then next pregnancy probably gotta sew up your cervix during 14 week. Chances of success is 90+%.

But now, importantly is to recover physically and emotionally. Sigh.. really sad to know first lost to i/c cant be avoided.

We still have our hubbies who love us very much.So, be strong too, ok? I know exactly how it feels.. just write in ok?
 
hi guys, was just thinking in the shower today about how the government is always lamenting that women nowadays don't want to give birth. they should come into this forum and read about what's really happening and how hard everyone's trying just to see that bfp!
 
Hi Jessie, do take good care of yourself. We are all here for you. this is a difficult time but i am sure with the support here, you can go thru it, okie? so come in for a chat anytime.

Hi Roxyz, i agree with apple. I also think should see a specialist first. only when confirm no other problem, then perhaps tcm to tiao the body. but like what apple mentioned, could be just miss the o this round. can get gynae to monitor the o. that's what my gynae told me the last time.

Hi Piggy mummy, have been taking multi vit, fish oil, folic acid all recommended from gynae since the last time. fish oil and multi vit are all pre-natal.
 
1 week passed.. still trying to heal mentally... coming here looking at all yor post make me feel so warm and beta. Wen to see my gynae yday and she was telling my HB i am having slight depression. But i am reali ok.. just cry on and off thats all..

Sylvia.. ya remember we talk during my 2nd mc last nov.. and now again. Only this time i knew is i/c... if i know earlier things wil be different i guess.. My gynae tell me not to give up, but hv to do the stitch at 12weeks.. but still not 100%. sighz... for now i reali hope i can start ttc again soon but on the other and the fear is still inside me.. I add u on msn... if have the chance to catch up lets chat...

apple, ah kat... thks so much.. we are reali like old friends here catching up and cheering eachother.. thks gals.... i will try v hard to get beta...
 
Hi all,

Yeah - there was time when I just got fed up n give up n decided to stop posting here, stop thinking abt menses, fertility, TCM, med, O days etc and thot that things will get better...but something just got to happen to make me going round in circles.

And sometimes its so hard to relate to husband, or even friends that is not in the same situation.

Anyway, thanks for all the friends that I make here and let's be strong for one another.

Angela: Do talk things here and dont keep it to yrself - you have to cross yrself to recover. Look on the bright side, at least u managed to conceive!
 
dear all,

went for gynae followup yesterday. uterus back to normal and cervix closed. she did papsmears for me too. given green light to ttc after 2-3 cycles.

let's give ourselves time to heal and then let's start afresh SOON!
 
Applemuffin,
i hv ashermans syndrome also and discovered thru HSG at the hospital

it may affect conception and fertility as the womb lining may not be able to withstand the pregnancy

please do check and also find out from the doctor whether it will recur (mine will) and also anythg to do about it ( i went for operation to remove the scars)
 
Thank you all for the encouragement. Appreciate.

Dear Sylvia, Gynae didn't say it's i/c. She said the contractions resulted in the dilation. I shld ask her again... She did say if it's i/c, then there wouldn't be any contractions. Wonder if that's correct.

You're right. Hubby has been very supportive. Busy still make time to talk to me every night. Let me cry.

I keep a journal to help me cope. Now I can look at baby's pictures (I only have 2...) without crying buckets on good days...
 
Hi jessie

Do check again. As i do have slight contracton and tats is why i went straight to my gynae and when she checked, my cervix oredi dilated. I was rush to the hospital immediately to do the stitches but still cant hold. If is reali i/c is beta to take note.. like me.. i dint know my 2nd mc was i/c, if i know this want may be saved.

Hi ah-kat

yeap as u say at least i manage to conceive. I dunno how is the road ahead,, shall look forward and hope all went well for all of us.
 
Hi Jessie, your gynae seems correct cos for me, i had no contraction, cervix just dilated and membrane started to bulge out. But was rushed to hospital then they found out i was contracting...when i didnt feel a thing. strange.
Still i think better sew up next pregnancy. Better play safe.
You have two pics....better than me, only have one. Crying is the only way out lah..hubby should cry too, dun suppress. Our hubbies are very poor thing, bottle up all the sorrows in them.Last month was my baby's birth and death anniversary and both of us cried in each other's embrace. Seems we have supressed our tears for very long.

Jessie, i used to be asthmatic, and i had been on ventolin till 18yr old. A chinese sinseh told me maybe that my i/c could be due to reliance on ventolin.

I did a d/c 2 years due to early miscarriage. There might be a chance that my cervix had been traumatised thus became incompetent.

I gathered this info from internet and i am still trying to search for answers to why women can have i/c and how to detect and prevent.
Shan't go on and bore u all.

Lie down more to let your womb rest.
 
costa, thanks for yr post. i found out later i didnt contact asherman cos AF came after induction with medicine.

ah kat n angela, understand how u gals feel..it is like going one full cycle to come back to starting point. But only if we try to ttc again, there is hope. Ah kat, i also tried many times after each mc to not come into forum, throw away all info abt ttc and all things abt bb..but then i realised whether or not, i do that or i dont, nothing change the fact that i had 3 mcs. I just hope my experience can encourage some of the gals here to keep walking. I wont give up and i know i will have a bb in my arms soon..i guess positive thinking helps...i am not sure abt the future too..maybe i am one of those childless couple with only a furkid as companion..in any case my aunt told me whether i have kids or not is not important, it is important that me n my hubby love and care abt each other. She said God has his timing..who know i can only conceive when i hit 40?? 50?? i am scare to think that will be the case, but if that is really the case, what can i do? Nothing....so i choose to live each day happy and find meaning in life.

Sorry for blabbering again...this thread is really great to me..it has since me from ups to lows..and i had made many frens who offered great advices during difficult time. Thanks gals...
 
Hi angela,

its reali sad to know what had happened to you..we are both in the nov 07 thread..i just lost my baby boy oso..now resting at home and doing my confinement..like wat u say, trying very hard not to think about and let us move on k..i am glad that i am able to find you gals to share what we are going through..

my baby was found to contain alot of fluid in his lungs, stomach and neck during the detail scan. the gynae confirm that there is no way where we can remove the fluid therefore we have to terminate it asap as they are worried that the baby will die in the womb..the news came as a shock and we are not prepared at all but.....

so gals, we must go through this difficult moments and encourage one another to be strong k..
 
applemuffin,
no pblem..but even if af comes..it doesnt mean tt there is no ashermans..do look out for signs like af is very little or stops after one two days.... becuz ashermans is quite serious and cld hv cost me being not able to hold my second pregnancy to full term..i lost one twin....and was put on bed rest and luckily managed to save the other twin altho he was born vy premature.....

after one of my many miscarriages, my af din come and onli came after induction..then the doctor din noe i got ashermans until i went to another doctor and did hsg again..and then went for operation...

i tried to pm you but you cldnt..if you need any advice..do pm me..

take care....
 
thanks costa for your concern. thankfully, both AF came with full force. my 1st gynea also didnt mention anything abt asherman..until i read about it in the internet and seek 2nd gynea's opinion.

Thanks will pm u if i need advice, hopefully never though.. thanks again
happy.gif
 
hi apple
I am sorry to make you relive your history to share with me. I really appreciate that and don't give up k? None of us here are giving up!


hi eunice and eternity
This is the first month where I am 100% sure I O after dnc and we BD before and on O but still no good news that is why so stressed. I think will give ourselves another 2 more cycles.. if still no good news, then will see a specialist.
Thanks for your advice



Ladies, need to check with you all. Is it better to BD every alternate day or everyday during fertile period? Every day is good but some people say sperm quality is affected?
 
Roxyz, no worries. I find myself feeling better when i talk abt my past experience..helps to release...so u r helping me!! hee..

For BD, i think alternate is better..thats what my TCM told me too. But if found you have O, best to do once AM, once PM.
 
Hi nickel

i am sorry to hear about you too.. we are at the same nov 07 thread and i reali know how it feel... oredi past 5months and this have to happen to us.... i am on confinement at home too and proberly rest one more week beofre going back to work. Guess working is beta as wont think so much also. My hb wanted me to rest and stay home quit my job. but i think not a v good idea as being alone at home make me more depress.

I just went to see my gynae this morning and am recovering well.. can see some eggs too, is a good sign as means AF will come soon.

Hi Sylvia

you had read a lot abt i/c.. will chat more wz u when i see u online on msn ok... thks for sharing
 
Hi Roxyz,

It would be better to BD every alternate days during the fertile period, as your hubby needs to rest & recuperate his "warriors" too, with too frequent ejaculation, it will have lesser sperms each time. The last time round, I did it on alternate days for about twice close to the estimate "O" days and strike jackpot!

But alas, too bad..haiz
sad.gif
 
Hi angela,

me oso resting now, going back to work around end july. yup, try to keep ourselves busy will make us feel better lor..

btw wat is AF? me should be going back for checkup next week..
 
Angela, working will help take yr mind off. but if kaypoh colleagues ask, u must be mentally prepared.
happy.gif


when i was resting at home, i got alot of kaypoh sms..when i got back to office, they also asked me what i suffer from, why never come to work!! ggrr.. i told them i went for a nose job!
 
Hi Nickel

AF = menses
My previous miscarriage, AF came 3 weeks after my induce labour. The faster it comes, the faster our body get back to the normal state.. and also means after 2-3cycle of AF, you can start trying again when u are mentally ready. If you want to chat up can msn me oso... my address [email protected]

Hi Apple,

Ya lor... as for now i am not ready to see anyone yet... esp off cooleagues as you know some can be reali NOT sensative to our feelings. like you, i went thru 3 mc also and have to answer to all these ppl.. i just hate it. Thats y my hb ask me dun work and stay home as i know he dint wan me to get hurt again after going thru so much. The moment i think of ppl starting coming to me and ask ask ask, i reali dun feel like going back to work... but i hv a supporting boss and support staffs.. they all waiting to cheer me up and hope to see me back soon...
 
dear all, in case some of you might be interested... there is a KK Hosp public forum on Fertility treatment - Western and TCM approach. topics covering: Fertility investigations for baby planning, essential tips for conception, TCM philisophy in fertility treatment, what is assisted conception (IVF & ICSI), and Journey though the lab.

Date: 21/7/07 2-4.15pm
cost is $5 per person incl refreshments.
u can check on KKH's website for more details.
 
Hi xuanting, I bot only 1 lah. Dare not buy too many, scare disappointment mah. i dun even dare to wear it yet... will wear it after my 3rd AF...

Dear all, as I read through the postings, i can't help but get so emotional. I deeply admire all your courage and strength to be fighting and getting back on track.. I hope that all of you also appreciate yourselves for having come this far.... May Peace, Health, and HOPE reach all of you, and may all of us be blessed with a heathy child, if not, 2, 3, 4 children!!

LOVE & HUGZ to all...
 
thanks irene..

angela, it is good that you have a supportive boss and team..at least they will understand and make your back to work easier..

I had an understanding boss too..
happy.gif
and a very good colleague who covered for me when i was down..for kaypoh colleagues, u have to be thick skinned when answering them..

I once have this colleague who asked me at pantry, what happened to u, never come to work, i answered i was MC, not well. Then she asked, u suffering from what ah? I feel like slapping her...but of coz i didnt, i just said i am well now and dont wish to talk abt it.

Insensitive creatures.....sigh......

if you really dont feel like meeting anyone, dont meet them...dont force yourself...let yourself have the space and quiet moments to heal. i avoided all, only recently i met with my aunt n grandma and when they consoled me, i am able to face them without tearing...i am glad i made the decision not to face anyone. sometimes, no matter how u explain, they will never understand....
 
ladies,
suddenly hit me that it is so difficult to give birth to a healthy bb...9 months of non-stop worrying. All my preggies never get pass 3 months...for me, it is always worrying abt seeing a heartbeat, worrying abt D&C..taking painful hormones jabs...i wish someone can tell me whether or not i will have a healthy kid or not..at least dont have to keep going back for more wall banging and more bashing..
 
Hi angela and apple...

u gals are lucky in that sense, I did not share with all my colleagues, as this is my private matter and i dun wan to broadcast it, and i din really tell my boss what happened, jus told him very briefly, but i guess I made a mistake there, cos i think it costed me my promotion cos they were wondering what happened to me as i was on MC and my work perf for that month was kinda affected bcos of what happened... I am very upset about my colleagues being so not understanding, but has since reconciled with myself. so angry with those kaypoh colleagues who add salt and pepper to the boss..

sigh... that;s the ugly side to human species..

anyway, for now, i m jus looking fwd to wearing my dress.... lalala....

apple, cheer up k? --P-@

angela, gv yourself sometime.... the rainbow would be at the end of this journey.. hugz...
 


happy.gif
irene, i am staying cheerful cos its Friday!! bringing my dog for dog show tmr..

what dress have you bought? maternity dress?
I have quite a lot of maternity clothes, brand new, never wear b4. wonder if i ever get a chance to wear them..the 2nd preggie was 12 weeks, thot i got chance to wear liao..but..sigh...wish i didnt buy them...waste of $$$..
 
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