Support group - Miscarriages

Thanks everyone. Perhaps we suffered the same fate, thus able to understand one another feeling.

This morning, my 20 mths old son woke up and said "ning bb(his way of saying good morning), gor gor ou u(meaning kor kor loves u)" on my tummy. Tears juz well up in my eyes. I educated him abt slibling cos heard too many scary stories. Now, how am I going to put it across to him? I told him no more baby, he can tell me "baby gone?". But sometimes, he juz cant remember that. We can blame people for being insensative about our loss but I cant blame a navie child trying to express his feeling and thoughts. He kept addressing himself as "kor kor". Having tasted the sweet process of getting pregnant, pregnant, delivered, and seeing bb growing everyday. The pain of losing a little living life in me definately is not any lesser pain.
 


Thanks everyone. Perhaps we suffered the same fate, thus able to understand one another feeling.

This morning, my 20 mths old son woke up and said "ning bb(his way of saying good morning), gor gor ou u(meaning kor kor loves u)" on my tummy. Tears juz well up in my eyes. I educated him abt slibling cos heard too many scary stories. Now, how am I going to put it across to him? I told him no more baby, he can tell me "baby gone?". But sometimes, he juz cant remember that. We can blame people for being insensative about our loss but I cant blame a navie child trying to express his feeling and thoughts. He kept addressing himself as "kor kor". Having tasted the sweet process of getting pregnant, pregnant, delivered, and seeing bb growing everyday. The pain of losing a little living life in me definately is not any lesser pain.
 
HI Valencia,
time will heal, I'm now fine and hopeful for another try again. You've got a son so Im sure you will not have problem in the next one.
 
Hi valencia,
It's painful to lose a life inside us, having to go through the happiness and the next thing it's gone... Whatever others say now may hurt. They might not know what to say and we are very sensitive about a lot of things when it just happen... The incident cannot be forgotten. Time will lessen the pain... Meanwhile, do take good care of your health... Hope you will recover soon...
 
Hi,

I need some help here. Have a few qns regarding miscarriage. If in 4th week of pregnancy how do doctors know if u miscarriage? The pregnancy test becomes neg(-ve) isit? Then if i go see a doc today will they be able to find out when was the actual miscarriage day? When u are pregnant the doc gives a pregnancy report? Is there any miscarriage report? If the doctor u see is a normal clinic. Thanks! I hope everyone will jia you~ and get over the lost soon. Take care.
 
Hi Hamz,

1st, I believed u've tested +ve @ one of the GP... but yet to schedule a date with gynae... My advice to u is to see a gynae asap to find out... Everyone of us reacts differently...

To my understanding, gynae will not be able to find out when is the actual m/c day or date. Normally, for 1st n 2nd m/c, they will not do an analysis and give u a report... Normally for 3rd m/c onwards

Please go to a gynae asap... Don't wait n see. It'll not be good for your health in future.
 
Hi Hamz,

Do visit a gynae, 'cos they will have the equipment for checking.. A GP might not have it and end up you paying for 2...

If you need any advise on gynae, do let us know... I'm sure everyone here will help...

You take care...
 
Hi Hamz,
I suppose you tested positive before you missed the menses? Pregnancy test becoming negative is when the miscarriage has occured, or an ectopic pregnancy. The best way for diagnosis will be a beta-HCG blood test. It's not easy to find out the actual miscarriage day. It's a process...
 
Hi Lyn and puppy2006,

beta-HCG blood test?? What does this test do? It's a miscarriage test? Hmmz.. not comfortable going to a gynae. thinking of just gtg to a normal clinic. think can get a report from there?
 
hi gals,

looks like im back here again..last year i lost my triplets, now i just lost mysingleton..went to do a scan yest and today..today was by another doc to get 2nd opinion, the baby is dying off, almost no movement liao, and heartbeart not very noticeable..should have been 7 weeks now but baby was growing abnormally slower than normal..he said its a missed abortion..so will probably arrange for a d&c next week and rest 3 mths again..sigh, tis time got 1 baby but didnt make it thru even the 6 to 7 week period..im getting really tired..
 
hi hamz, why you think you have MC? hmm you are quite correct, if you tested posittive then negative later you should go and get a blood test immediately. the hCG hormone will increase a lot in double or triple if the pregnancy goes well at first trimester. well, at 4th weeks nothing can be seen.

I think gynae will do a V/Scan for sac if can't find. will check your uterine wall thickness.

If no sac can be seen and you start to have bleediong. I would said it could a chemical pregnancy.

I had similar situation on feb 06 recently.
 
Hi Hamz,

Some info on HCG...

"Human chorionic gonadotropin (hCG) is a hormone that is produced by the placenta of a pregnant woman. It is detectable in the blood and urine within 10 days of fertilization and hence forms the basis of all pregnancy tests. Because human chorionic gonadotropin (hCG) is produced by the placenta, the presence of HCG in a woman's blood indicates that she is most probably pregnant. A pregnancy blood test or a pregnancy serum test measures the exact amount of the pregnancy hormone, human chorionic gonadotropin (hCG), in the bloodstream.

After the fertilized egg implants, or attaches, to the inside of the uterus or other structure inside the mother, the levels of human chorionic gonadotropin (hCG) rise rapidly. The levels continue to increase throughout the first trimester of pregnancy and reach a peak 60 to 80 days after the fertilized egg implants. If you suspect any symptoms of pregnancy like delayed menstrual period, breast tenderness, pelvic pain, and irregular spotting or vomiting, you must get a pregnancy blood test done to confirm or rule out pregnancy

Why is hCG so important?
hCG or Human Chorionic Gonadotropin, also commonly known as the pregnancy hormone is produced by the cells of the implanting egg and can be produced in the absence of an embryo. Human chorionic gonadotropin (hCG) is thought to be important in converting the normal corpus luteum into the corpus luteum of pregnancy. The corpus luteum is a hormone-secreting structure that grows on the surface of the ovary after ovulation takes place. Human chorionic gonadotropin (hCG), is produced regardless of the site of implantation of the egg in pregnancy. Usually this occurs within the uterus, but may happen outside the uterus, which is called an ectopic pregnancy.

Why could it be important to know my beta hCG levels?
As the embryo grows, the level of hCG rises and, as a general rule, hCG beta numbers should double every 36 to 48 hours. A dramatic decrease in the levels may indicate a miscarriage has occurred or is possible, whereas a level that stays the same or falls well below the normal range may indicate an ectopic pregnancy. Beta hCG levels can also be used to identify a multiple pregnancy like twins, triplets, or multiples. In such cases the hCG levels will peak out by the end of the first trimester.
"

Hamz, I suggest u visit a gynae instead of a doc, really. As in any cases, if it is a missed abortion, u might need a D&C, 'cos if fetus stays in your body and not being expelled out, it might be harmful to your body for future fertility... Not trying to scare u... but prevention and get a proper checkup by professional is encouraged.

Please go to a gynae. Take care ok... Any problem.. just let us know... if u feel uncomfortable to share, let me know or PM me...
 
Hamz - I agree with puppy2006. You shd go see a gynae instead of a normal GP. The latter may not have the usual equipment or expertise to check for you. And yes, you will prob be advised to do a blood test. They can check the level of hormones and if you are more than 7wks into pregnancy, the gynae can do a scan for you too to confirm. Do take care. Also like what puppy said, you might nd a D&C for the same reasons.
 
puipui - My heart goes out to you. I know whatever anyone say will not be able to heal your hurt, and sadness. Try to rest your heart and mind? Will pray for strength for you.
 
hi gals,

thanks very much for ur support..can i ask if is it necessary to go through a d&c? i haven had any cramps or bleeding yet and 1 doc advise me to go thru the procedure..but im alittle scared of the pain and was hoping to let the baby come out naturally but was advised not to..how?
 
Hi puipui80,

Going thru' d&c is to "wash" out what consider as "residue" = fetus. U won't feel any pain as u'll be under GA and an hr later, u will be in another rm resting.

Choice is up to u, if D&C, u'll not feel the pain of waiting for the fetus to expel out. For natural expel, it takes longer and physically strain too... 'cos u'll keep thinking of the fetus. In cases that natural fetus expel is not complete, u still need to go thru D&C, which could strain your physical emotion more.

Honestly speaking, there's really no pain for D&C, only bleeding like AF for 1-2 days. After that, it's light spotting for abt 3-5 days. That's all.

I felt emotionally, u will be better as you'll not see the fetus expel out from body which could project an image in your mind.

Of course, afterall, we all feel the pain of loss. It's ok to be emotionally unstable for the next few weeks or even months.. depending on individual's way of coping. I'm sure u'll be able to cope well and get over the hurdle. Of course, taking good care of your health after the procedure is most important.

Bless you...
 
puipui - do go for a D&C. It's prob nec. so that you can have a clean womb for future pregnancies. There's no pain as you will be on GA or LA. DO take care.
 
Hi Puipui,
go for D&C like wat Volf20 said...no pain at all and yes, the womb will be cleaner too...

Do take care and we can all understand how you feel....
 
hi gals,

thanks, i was quite scared but i think i will take the advice and arrange for the op. now jus waiting for my doc to call me back..but mon is a holiday so im not sure if i can make it in time..if i leave it till early next week, do u all think it will become infected so quickly?
 
hi gals,

i arranged for the d&c next tues morning..tat was the earliest tat they can schedule me for..at the henry cheng clinic at bishan..
 
Hi hamz,
During pregnancy, HCG is more than 5 and will double every two days in the beginning for a normal, developing pregnancy. It can be used to test to see if the pregnancy is developing fine. If the HCG decreases, it means miscarriage is impending or actually happening. If the HCG level is not as high as it should be and the sac cannot be found in the womb, ectopic cannot be ruled out.
As what puppy and volf mentioned, I think it's better to see a gynae too.


Hi puipui,
I am sorry that you have to go through it again. Do take good care of your health.
The choice of whether to go through D&C is up to you. If you chose D&C, the whole process will be gotten over fast and less painful physically and mentally... You can start your road to recovery soon after the procedure.

Go to another doc for another opinion. Public holiday should not be an excused for the delayed op, in my opinion... For my doc, he did it for me on the same day or the very next day. It's the emotional part of waiting that can be torturing to you and hubby... Today is Friday and tomolo is Saturday...
 
Hi puipui,

My heart goes out to you. Just some questions, were you prescribed any medication to consume the night before you go in for D&C? If so, then must be mentally prepared for very heavy flow during the night before you check into the hospital. It will be painful too. If no medication given, then the D&C process will be pretty painless. I was given a pill to take the night before and this was what I experienced.

Also, do watch out these few days before the op. Your body may naturally discharge the foetus even before your scheduled D&C. Do check with the gynae on what you need to do if this happens.

My op was scheduled 2 days after I found out I had a missed m/c. I find that this gap was ok coz it allowed me to prepare stuff for mini-confinement and prepare myself to let go of my baby. JMHO.

Although I'm not too sure of your history, but as this is your second m/c, did your gynae say whether you need to do any testing on your foetus?
 
Hi puipui

Im so sorry my dear friend...

May GOD grant u grace & strength to go thru..

But u know my advice is to wait out..wait for a natural m/c to occur..like me..cos if baby's gone, the contents will come out. I didnt do a D & C at all. Have u started bleeding? If not, do wait..one reason is gynaes mayb wrong..maybe u want to go for a 2nd or 3rd opinion.
 
Dear puipui..(this is specific for u..other ladies may have very differing opinions or may strongly disagree). So dear ladies..dont take this to heart..cos its specific advice to puipui..I dont mean it for everyone..esp those who have recently gone thru a D & C or an m/c or induced labour.

Puipui..Dont worry..actually, when yr body is ready to expel out, it will. Its not dangerous not to have a D & C..unless u have fever, infection. Having an m/c at home gives you more time with the grief..& lets your hubby be with you. A D & C is an invasive procedure..cos u've not done it yet..i have to be honest & say that..some babies are actually aborted(may hve beem alive)in a D & C or induced labour..bcos mothers dont wait for natural signs of m/c to occur..I've read this in a few sources..its true. U can check out pregnancyloss.info.net. Or jus type 'miscarriage'..a lot of women opt to have natural m/c..i've read their stories on forums.

Do hang on..take care. Keep me updated.
 
Puipui..I waited almost 2 weeks before the natural m/c occurred,no fever, no infection..nothing..I saw my 3rd gynae for the 3rd opinion..he said baby no heartbeat but he was still inside me..I saw him..So i bid gynae goodbye & didnt see any after that..he didnt even ask me to come back..he even said its my choice D & C or not..he himself said its a stupid preocedure..i didnt go for a D & C..how could I?! I had the m/c at home..with my hubby by my side. At least i know the baby's gone..I saw all the contents come out..Painful?..yes..but as a mother I did my best by waiting. But things were ok..i saw the gynae after 2 weeks..& he said my womb's clean..& anything else left will clear out in my 1st menses. Im had my 2nd cycle already. U stay in bishan is it?
 
Dear Puipui,
my heart sank when I read your 2nd loss
sad.gif

Well, I pray that God will heal your emotions and physically asap
feel free to PM me to chat..

Ya agree wif rest of the gals
PLEASE CAL your gynae to do a D & C asap to clean ur womb to prevent ANY INFECTION...
as wat Lyn said today is already friday n tomr is sat,
suin n mon is a public holiday and I scared that in case ur cramp got worse over the long weekend
Dear, cal tomr ur gynae OK?
I hope you hv already to cal....

Will keep you in prayer

HUGs!
 
Hey puipui..

No wont have infection so fast..unless its in the 2-3 trimester when waterbag burst. Tat was my fear too when I waited..But my 3rd gynae said unlikely infection can happen..1st trimester m/c is like a super heavy period. The pregnancy sac is actually intact until the cervix dilates. So u cant get an infection unless the sac actually bursts inside but the cervix doesnt dilate. The cervix will naturally dilate when m/c is happening..a D & C actually dilates the cervix prematurely..so its not good.
 
hi puipui,
I m really very sori to hear tat....i was shocked when i saw ur posting.....
whether u choose D&C or not....do take care n rest well...hope tat u haf speedy recovery...
 
Puipui..Yes i admit..waiting isnt easy..It wasnt easy for me & my hubby too..But at least it gives our babies some last hope..u know wat I mean..u know..wat if..jus maybe..miracles happen OR..gynaes mayb wrong! Cant we believe GOD's design..tat yr womb will expel out when its time for the m/c?

Only u & hubby can decide this. Do take care. PM me if u need anything pls.
 
hi gals,

really appreciate ur advice and support, my aunty has highly recommended her gyne to me, tis dr delivered all my 3 cousins and even diagnosed my grandma with cancer before..so im going to see him for a 3rd opinion..i told the nurse my case over the phone, so she told me the dr will do a thorough check before doing anything but i had to start fasting yest night incase really baby no heartbeat and have to do the d&c. so im going soon after tis reply.

mm, so far, both drs confirmed tat its nothing to do with my womb or lining..its jus tat last year was my cervix tat opened up too early so loss the babies..now is a 1st trimester missed abortion, seems like its the baby itself was abnormal so the growth was extremely slow and hertbeat very weak, both confirmed tat baby was dying off..so they reassured me tat very unlikely will affect my next pregnancy..i think im really used to the disappointment lor, tis time i didnt really grieve, guess i jus feel so numb now..but im willing to try again, but onli when i recover..but i thank everyone for their love and support, it really helps me alot
happy.gif
 
Dear Puipui,
thk God you went for D & C
happy.gif

well, rest well and nourish well ur body

I think your body need to take a break after this sad episode...
You should actually build up your health before trying for bb in the future...do sit down wif your gynae amd discuss the future plans when u go for the chkup after the D & C...

gal,
did your gynmae do any D & C after ur 1st m/c?
cos my gynae did that even after my delivery just to make sure there is no residue and to prevent infection.

God bless you and keep us update
happy.gif
 
Hi all,

I just did my D&C @ TMC yesterday.... It was a decision made after one week of waiting & confirmation.... My baby was also growing abnormally slower than normal & had no heartbeat, so the doc confirmed it was a missed abortion... it was around 6-7 weeks at that time....

Currently, having some mini-confinement food made by my mum & nourishing my body to good health to get ready for the next TTC....
happy.gif
 
Dear puipui
A big big hug to u. How was the consultation? Do update us on the outcome. If u need any support, we will always be here for u.

Dear Tattybear,
Sorry to hear about ur loss. The gals here had been through the toughest moment together, giving support to each other.
Pls let us know if u need any help. Meanwhile, take good care of ur health, have a proper confinement to prepare for ur next TTC.
 
Dear Michelle,
I also underwent a similar experience couple of months back. My baby had congenital heart problems and also needed a lifetime of operations. It is a sorrowful memory. All I know now is that my baby is in heaven. Unlike you, I did not have the courage to see him when he was born.
 
hi gals,

i jus did my d&c yesterday..baby oredi had no heartbeat abd doc confirmed tat baby was not at right size..was supposed to be ard 1cm by now but was measuring at onli 4.8mm at 7 weeks, so i told him to go ahead and clear my womb..

i cried alittle after tat but my husband and i feel tat its all for the best and tat a huge weight was lifted..the doc said i should not be afraid to try again especially im still in my 20s and proven fertile.. so he asked me to rest for at least 3 mths..surprisingly he said its become so common to have babies like this in 1st trimester, in at least 1 out of 100 pregnancies..tats a really staggering number.

tattybear, sorry to hear tat u went thru same thing as me, its really hard but do take care of urself as well and try to think on positive side
happy.gif
 
Hi puipui..

Im sorry that u went thru the D & C. But, I really hoped u waited..jus like i did..cos a D & C is never always neccessary & always an invasive procedure, we have to admit. But, I guess it takes faith.. alot more..Cant expect everyone to have the same kind of faith..But jus know I sincerely want to give my advice..& I am very pro-life..The baby is first in priority.

Take care, & build your health back.

HI tattybear..

Take care too.
 
Dear Pui Pui,

Yes, it's indeed a huge weight lifted off our shoulders.... Though it's a hard decision that we had to make.... U too, take real good care of yourself & build your health back....

To the others,
Thanks for the support & encouragement....
happy.gif
 
Hi,
Wonder if anybody knows, after D&C, will there be continuous bleeding for about 2 - 4 days?

I had bleeding for just 1 day & the 2nd day onwards, it's just some brown stains/spotting...

Wonder if it's normal?
 
Hi PuiPui,
Think my case was exactly like you. My bb measured at 5.9mm at around 6 weeks and doc said the same thing like your case. Do take care and rest well. I'm sure your next pregnancy will be a success.

Hi TattyBear,
My bleeding or rather spotting stopped at around 8-9Days after D&C, so, should be normal. I bleed after D&C and after 1 or 2 days, I'm just having light spotting. Dun worry too much and rest well
happy.gif
 
Dear Puipui

So sorry to hear about your incident. Hope you are doing fine. Do take the time to rest well and bu your body in preparation for your next pregnancy.

Dear KT
So sorry to learn of your experience.. Did you do any test to check if it is a chromosone defect? And was your doctor able to explain the causes and whether chances of recurrence are high/low? I would like to find out more so as to prepare myself for the next pregnancy as well as decide whether I would want to get pregnant or not... Feeling really scared that it would recur...
 
Hi Gals,

I havent came in for quite a while, how is everyone?

Hi Pui Pui, I am sorry to hear about your loss. Do rest n eat well. Yes m/c are very common nowadays and I was surprised with the figures myself. Dun lose heart ok? Jia You!
 
Dear Puipui,

Remember to take gd care of yourself... rest well and have a gd confinement...

Dear tattybear and Valencia,

Bleeding after D&C stopped either 1-2 days... after that, it'll be brown spotting... depends on individual.. mine spotting for abt 7 days... but if you over exert yourself... bleeding or spotting will appear again... So don't walk too much or over exert yourself like carry heavy things etc

Do remember to take care now...
 


hi gals,

tattybear, dun worry, i oso had bleeding for the 1st 2 days and now jus on and off brown spotting. but i do feel some light cramping at times, maybe its the womb contracting..dr said my womb seems to be bigger than normal so i have to go back tis friday to check again.

gals, usually after how long then its safe to have intercourse again? is it safe to have orgasms as well? im worried tat orgasms can harm the womb though i heard its just contraction of muscles and can help to contract the womb more easily as well..im jus avoiding having sex as i tend to have orgasms quite easily.
 
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