Support group - Miscarriages

Hey doggy (mar-bride)
your sensei can tell whether your AF is coming, good leh. mine dun say anything, just say im a bit weak.
 


I dare not take TCM leh. I am thinking if we should get the DOM to drink. Do you girls take that? Coz is cheaper in DFS...
 
Volf,
hmm...since u taking ur gynae medication to regulate ur menses,
are u taking the TCM as well?
hmm...pls advise
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finally my AF is here...
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Hi Val - Am not taking TCM for now cos taking medication. But am taking pure grounded ginseng & cordyceps fr medical hall to bu shen.

Congrats yr AF is here!! My gynae said mine will come after I complete my medication in end May.
 
Hi Ryes,

DOM is gd... but rather strong in alcohol content... so if u TTC, try to stop DOM during ovulation and after...Yomeishu is gd too and alcohol content is not that high as compared to DOM. We used DOM to cook chicken or herbal soup, my hb loves it very much... That's the only way to get him to 'bu'...

Advise is that if u r taking medicine, don't consume DOM... U know why lah... need no explaination.
 
HI puppy,

oic. I didnt know that, coz they said DOM good for bu body.

Then can keep dom or not? Coz DFS now selling very cheap leh, for 2 bottles $68. tot of buying...can drink when pregnant one?
 
Hi Ryes,

Advice is NOT to consume DOM when preggy as it contains quite a high alcohol content, might be harmful to fetus.. but u can also ask ur gynae for advice.

I drink DOM only from the day AF comes till the ovulation day, somehow, I'm more alert and refresh taking DOM... BTW, DOM contains dang gui, helps in clearing more of your monthly AF...for me, 1st 2 days of AF is heavy but no cramp... not sure whether is the effect of drinking DOM... I used to have cramp and extreme heavy AF on 1st 2 days... after taking DOM, somehow it helps but not sure is the cause of it????

I had ample supply of DOM 'cos my hb travels a lot and will buy DOM from airport DFS... Yes, it's cheaper than anywhere... If anyone of you need me to get DOM for you...let me know

Not sure whether you can juz get DOM from DFS Orchard if u r not visitors.. not sure will they charge u the same promo price?
 
Val - yes I did. My AF has not arrived cos sys went haywire. Was spotting still at 7wk after m/c, so went to see doc. Dr gave me medicine to regulate sys, and also told me to rest womb cos me had mid term m/c which he said is worse (physical harm and emotional stress) than usual d&c. But at checkup- he did a scan and saw a follicle developing already..which meant AF coming. JUst that I was STILL spotting..so now on medication 1st. Hope everything turns out well by end May (medication ends).

DOM - Can keep one. Get fr DFS cos v cheap. Those who dun like Dom can buy Wincanis. Also get fr DFS - cheap
 
hey gals - perhaps wld be gd to take a short break and go travelling? Then can buy DOM / Wincanis at DFS at cheaper rate
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So far, I have gone to Japan and Macau. Helps in uplifting our spirits.. and also gives you coupletime with hubby ...
 
oh Volf,
I see....so gd that your gynae give u the medication to regulate ur Af...
hmm...did u tell him that you took TCM actually?
well, I also hope ur AF come soon
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hehe...my hm still got DOM n Yoimeishu
but I did nt take leh, v wasted hor?
bai2 mei3 at hm :p
 
Hi juju (bb_hopeful)

I didnt check out the DFS at scotts, maybe same price, u can go and check it out see see...
 
Hi athlete (athlete)

I want to BD in May right after my 2nd cycle and was thinking if I should buy the test strips to have a more accurate timing to BD>..

What brand u buy? what does 2ww means?
 
hi ryes,
I bought the clearplan brand (the only one i trust), costs about $60 plus, although i know u can buy the generic brand, cheaper ones from the net...

2ww stands for 2 weeks wait, meaning the 2 weeks period between ovulation and your next period.
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hi gals..

its me.. i m back, now at home resting.. had wanted to write earlier since discharge last Thur but the emotional wound is still hurting so so much..

I delivered my baby Ethan last Thur at abt noon... Had a look at him and sayang him and spoke to him, he is the cutest and sweetest baby i have ever seen.. He looks like my hubby a lot.. He's already quite physically well developed just that he's smaller.. Took some photos of him and i still look at the photos almost everyday... Think of him a lot everyday... I often imagine how nice it would have been if he is a normal baby, things would have been so perfect then... My gynae suggested sending him for post-mortem but my hubby and i discussed and finally decided we could not bear the tot of him being opened up... However we did a test using the tissue from the placenta to determine if the baby's defect is a chromosonal one, hopefully the results come out good...

Cant help but tink of Ethan every single day.. its like my heart has this wound which would never heal.. i was watching tv with my hubby jus now and it was supposed to be a funny programme but i just cant laugh anymore.. i told my hubby that i dun tink i can ever be truly happy again.. i really miss Ethan a lot and often wonder if he would blame me for not wanting him.. During the scans which we had done with 3 other doctors to confirm his heart problem, he had his back against my tummy.. its as if he was afraid that we would not want him anymore when the doc confirm his problem.. however he is very obedient and on all 3 occasions turned ard after i spoke to him.. i often wonder how he felt and if he really blames me, if he can really feel...

Have been tinking a lot these few days, whether i would ever have the courage to have another baby, as i dun tink i can face it if the same problem occurs.. My hubby is contemplating us not trying for another baby as he is afraid of recurrence and that i would not be able to take it... But somehow i feel i still wanna try as i know the joy that these little buddles could bring.. besides my hubby adores kids.. he was very happy when he first learnt of my pregnancy and went ard telling most of his frens... But such things had to happen.. Sigh...

Volf: i recalled u wrote that u had a fren who had a baby with congenital heart defect, did she went on to have a normal baby after that baby?? I am really afraid about my next pregnancy, shd i get pregnant again.. Appreciate if u can email me at [email protected] Thanks!!

Gals.. Thanks for your listening ear... Just wanted to pour my feelings...
 
Hi Michelle,
My whole heart goes out to you....be strong and dun give up. Build up your health and try again. After reading your case and so much of our cases tho not comparable to yours, I feel like scolding one of my coll. She went for a scan recently and found out her bb is a girl, and she feel like terminating her pregnancy!!! There are so much pple here who wanted a healthy bb so much and yet, she do that!

Anyway, pls take good care of yourself and we are are here to listen....
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Hey ladies,
My AF finally here. It exactly 1 month after my M/C and having very bad cramp.
 
Michelle,
I hv been thinkning abt u..n finally saw ur post
ya, our baby is always the most sweetest n cutest
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I regret not taking Janelle, my gal photo but hubby said is gd also otherwise I will be looknig at her photo too everyday n dwell on it...
but now whenever I look at newborn wif lots of dark hair will reminds me of my gal cos she gt lots of hair when I saw her
well time will heal the wound n sadness...
nw I dun feel upset anymore,I am happy n thk God that He is taking gd care my gal in heaven now
hmm...regarding hving another baby, maybe you can discuss wif ur gynae abt doing some genetic bloodtest?
anyway do update us the outcome of the placenta tissue report, hope it goes well
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now u rest well, take ur time to settle n adjust back to normal life,
I took 3 mths n finally this mth I am back again the cheerful me
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Hi michelle..dont know wat to say..but i guess its good u say it all out..makes u feel better..We re all here to support one another whichever way possible. Take care.

Hi ladies..

U know some ppl say its easier when a miscarriage happens in the 1st trimester..cos u dont really see the baby..too little time to bond, no memory of him/her, some would even say its jus a 'blob', etc. Then for some of u here who had mid-term m/c..& i hear your stories it's really emotional to deliver the baby..see the features, etc..so its more difficult or the grief u feel is more justified. But i believe both ways its a difficult ordeal. Both ways we the mothers feel intense grief..

My fren who got pregnant about 1 week after my m/c..likes to talk on & on about her pregnancy & its really difficult to hear all these at this moment..Jus yesterday..she said right at my fa ce jus after she asked how I was.. she said delightfully w/o a tinge of restrain or sensitivity..'U know i saw the scan my baby got sharp nose!' I sat there stunned..I snap out then i could only muster a smile and say 'Oh is it.' Right that moment my heart sank..and i was thinking..Why did she have to remind me..I guess she's really happy & good for her that she got to see her baby's features, but i didnt even hear my baby's heartbeat..& she had to remind me..I tell u i could have cried in front of her & tell her to stop telling me all these..But i didnt want to make a scene at dinner..So i jus ask GOD for strength..
 
Hi Charis,
Understand how you feel...just like my coll told me its a gal and she wanted to terminate the pregnancy as well. She is so fortunate to have the bb and yet said such nonsense....imagine if she were to go thru' the same thing as us, i bet she wont say such things, right.
 
Sometimes I wonder why it's so unfair. There are people like us who really want a child and are unfortunate. Then there are those who want to terminate their child for selfish reasons. Worse are those who cldnt care less abt their kids, and still go on to have healthy kids whom they dun care abt bringing up...am saying all these now cos am very upset that my SIL is going to deliver tmr. I wonder why God took my son away and let her hv her baby fullterm. She has 1 son already..but doesnt care a damn abt him. To me, what's the point of having babies when you dun bother to bring them up and leave them all to yr in-laws?! SHe is the type who dun breastfeed, and just watch tv after coming back fr work...dun even play with kid. Of cos kid now is totally NOT close to her.

Sorry - had to vent somewhr.
 
dear Michelle, my heart sank when i read ur story.. really at a loss of words...


Do take great care and hopefully time will heals ur pains..
 
hi dear michelle
i cried after reading ur story.it reminds me of my own mis/c 2 years back.tho my case cannot be compar with u.
when i was pregnant the 2nd time,my baby cannot be seen frm scan n i had this blood spots.went to kk,give me some medicine next appointment n then go home.ask for injection,refused to do so.blood spots continued,went back again a few days later.then admit into hos.
i stay in the hospital for 4 days.seems to be waiting for the disaster:my mis/c.
wat those doctor done was just blood test follow by blood test.
i saw my unformed baby(like the liver we eat)in the toilet bowl.
nobody was there to help me.no doctors no one.i was there(in the toilet)with lots of bleeding and pain.all i get frm the nurse tat is on duty is pads.pads?wat i need is a doctor..
frm 1.00am to 4 pm.i went through everything by myself.
at 4am plus,a doctor(looks like those mo,learning doctor)came to me giving me some pain killers.
i was only seen by doctor at ard 7am.i kew my baby is gone.then advice to went for 'washing'.
i went into depression.cry n cry.evertime pple ask,i cry..i could not sleep.everytime i close my eyes,i saw a toilet full of blood,n a baby inside crying.

be strong.be strong.i know is hard.everybody tells u tat.
don worry,if u were to try for another one.i believe everything is fated.god is there to help u.he knew u suffer once and would not bear to hurt u again.
 
Dear Michelle,

My heart goes to u...but guess it's the best way to express oneself by words here. We are here to support u... Hope u can stand on your feet soon and don't give up. Life is like a roller coaster, I sure you'll see a better life ahead... Don't ever give up trying.

You must remember to take gd care of your health now. Anything, just let us know...

Hi doggy, at last your AF is here... maybe u can take some warm water to ease your cramp... Hope to see u around soon...so when are you going back to Dr Ho again?
 
Dear Michelle, the pain you're going thru now is just too much to be bottled up. Do let it out somehow. Cry or write abt it. There's no words we can say to remove those pain, for I can still feel the pain myself. Leave the idea of getting preg again or not aside first. Heal your body and mind first. Maybe the doc could give you good advice on whether this is a one off misfortune and chances of it happening again is rare. So start pondering after you find the results. Actually, either way you'll still find it difficult to pluck up the courage to try again. For me, I decided not to think abt vthe negatives and think abt how nice it is to be able to carry our bbs and not let them go and nuture them. That time when they took Kaden away from my arms I was torn. I swore I never want to go thru this again. But I know if I don't take the risk I may never hv my own bb. Now may not be the time to think abt all these. Hv a gd rest, grieve and heal wth time. The pain will always be there, but I'm sure as time pass, you'll be able to cope with the lost with peace. Ethan is in good hand, you deliover him from the suffering that he might be put thru. So you're a great mother you put the pain upon yourself to end his sufferings. He's a sensible, he understands and loves you for that.
 
Hi puppy2006,
yes finally....din see u online these days? My cramp is real bad....me going back to see Dr Ho on 6th May...same 6 wks later to do a pap smear. After which, i will fly off...
 
Hi doggy,

I actually online every day...but in invisible mode... 'cos if I put myself in available mode during office hr... I got many pop ups from friends and ex-colleagues...so not very gd... disturb my work...

Oh, u r seeing him 2 weeks later...I'm seeing him tomorrow...

Wow.. then u must enjoy yourself hor... and see if u can strike if u intend to BD...

BTW, Parliament had dissolved... (latest new)... heard from ex-colleagues... So election shall be soon...
 
hey ladies

thanks for all your concern.. you gals have been very strong and i will try to draw my strength from all of you, though i cant help but tink of Ethan every single day.. though i have my concerns about getting pregnant, i know i will definitely try again.. I have seen Ethan and i know that i am capable of having such an adorble darling.. he would have been perfect if he did not have a heart problem.. we just could not bear the tot of him going through numerous operations and not having a normal childhood like everyone else.. I recalled i had a pri school fren whose younger bro also had a heart in his hole and i remembered him looking very pale and could not join in the normal activities of the other children. And i tried to put myself in those shoes, and i knew i would not want to be in that situation.. So does my husband..

My husband was telling me Ethan was trying to breathe after he was delivered but stopped after a few tries.. He could not bear to look at that also and turned away and cried. I am glad that I did not manage to see that or else my heart would ache even more.. So now my memories of him are that of the cutest little thing i have ever seen.. Though tinking of him makes me sad and tear, at the same time, i am also afraid that i will forget him.. i do not want to forget him ever and want him to know that he will be in me and my husband's thots forever..

hi Patricia

I feel sad for you after reading your post.. but am glad that you are picking up slowly.. let's support each other along the way and may all of us be blessed to have cute and adorable kids in the future.
 
Michelle,
really sori to hear tat...i m sure u haf done ur best for him....do take care of urself n hope tat u haf a speedy recovery....
 
Hi ladies..

Someone mentioned abt the general elections..Anyway some of us here are going for holiday at that time right..I should be way on May 6..How to vote like that? I checked website..it says got overseas voting but quite troublesome..either u vote at embassy or register mail to the embassy. ANyone have more info on this?
 
hey thewife,

are you around? I wanna share with u, I bought the bbt from watson yesterday and was thinking, if you are interested, you can buy then test ur temperature to see when u are ovulating.

Then, you will know agar when your menses will arrive judging from the temp.
 
Michelle, in my MTB thread, there's a MTB who gave birth to a bb with 3 holes in the heart, noe he's fine after surgery. And she's now 13wks preg. Please be encouraged.

Patricia, it's really sad and unfortunate that you have to go thru this. I know how helpless you felt as I gave birth to my son all alone in KKH too. As the nurse did not believe I was going to deliver. Well, we can only grow stronger. Take care.
 
Hi Michelle,
My heart goes out to you... Hugs... Do have a good rest at home. Cry if you want. Ethan will never be forgotten. Remember that your health is very important too. Do take good care of yourself at the same time ok?
When you are more ready to talk with your hubby about the whole episode, do talk to him. Your hubby will be sad too, and he will need emotional support like you do. Do find out how he felt and be each other's listening ears.
It will take months for the emotional healing and it's normal. After all the crying, do try to think of positive and happy things. Think of happy moments. Slowly, you will feel better.


Hi Charis,
The pain of m/c or a loss will certainly be no lesser in others... However, we grew up after going through all these episodes of heart pain.
There are many who might seem insensitive. We cannot control them, but we certainly can control our own feelings. It will take time to heal and to be able to accept again. Take good care. May God bless you and continue to give you strength.


Hi volf, doggy,
Do take good care
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Many people will only think about cherishing their kids, health, etc more when they meet some obstacles. It just takes time for some to learn. Gotta try to close one eye and let it go to stay happy
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Hi patricia,
Take good care.. Jia you...


Hi Ryes,
BBT gotta be plotted out daily. You may consider getting more information or plot in www.fertilityfriend.com
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. Babydusts to you and good luck
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Hi mIchelle & patricia,
i dun not know what to say...sometimes we wonder why we have to face obstacles like this. My gd fren lost her hubby 2 wks aft her gal was born (no reason) & here's something from her:
For the longest time, it seemed that life was about to start. Real life. But there was always some obstacle along the way, an ordeal to get through, some work to be finished, some time to be given, a bill to be paid. Then life would start. I finally came to understand that those obstacles were life.
That point of view helped me see that there isnt any road to happiness. Happiness IS the road.
So, enjoy every moment.
Stop waiting for work to begin, to get married, for Friday evening, for Sunday morning, waiting for a new car, for your mortgage to be paid off, for spring, for summer, for fall, for your song to be played on the radio, to die, to be reborn before deciding to be happy.
 
Hi ryes,
i have bbt thermometor, temp has been consistently 36 to 36.4, so doubt i ovulated but strangely i had a bit of brown spotting last nite, and till now there's nothing.
 
hi lyn,,

yeah, I just started plotting my chart liao, hope to see something soon.

Hi thewife, take measurement constantly not? be patient. Once u notice drop in temp then u will know u ovulated and will have menses soon.
 
Hi thewife,
I think ur AF might be here soon...I heard frm a few friends, some've brown spotting before their AF as a "guideline" to them... so don't worry or stress too much... is coming... for sure...

I agreed with you... Happiness is the road... and enjoy every single moment now...I feel every moment in life is precious. Time is short, life is short, everything is short. If you don't treasure now, wait till when...when and when???

I pray and hope everyone here will recover and move on with life. There are times we just couldn't let go and is hard, we won't forget what had happened for sure but we just need to let go at times... Look at the path ahead...brighter and rainbow is waiting for you

cheers, everyone... is weekend again!
 
Hi all,
Sad to have another new member here. Had juz terminated my 7 weeks old fetal due to water bag not growing well. Water bag smaller than the actual gestation. Signs of "natural abortion" occured thus we decided to terminate the pregnancy. Many friends console me by telling me its juz 7 weeks, I already have a boy, etc, etc. But dont they know each individual pregnancy is different. Though its juz 7 weeks old. He/she has a heart beating. He/she is a living fetal to me. Life gotta move on. Though my experience may not be as painful as others. But the thought of it really hurts.
 
Hi valencia..

Understand how u feel..its ok to be very sad..It hurts, its grief u can describe right? I believe we all experienced this pain & grief..But u r right, u'll heal..it takes a while but surely. Let no one tell u that 'its jus'..so on..i know its not jus something..it was a baby u lost. I lost my baby at 10 weeks..But i didnt do a D & C..I opted for a natural miscarriage. It wasnt easy too..ppl say 'Its ok..u can try again..etc..' But i know i can try again as many times..& have babies..BUT the one lost cant be replaced. But i take comfort that i know my baby is in heaven..& I did my best as a mother while he was still in me.

Take care..& nursing back yr body to health now is also very important.
 
valencia, sorry to hear of ur loss.... those pple wun understand the feeling of losing our beloved baby and they thought that its easy for us to forget it.. u juz have to ignore them..


take ur time to grieve and pls do take care and nurse back ur health and body well..
God Bless U..
 
hello valencia,
dunno wat to say but all i can say is time heals........ignore wat pple say, most importantly is ur health...dun forget ur boy needs u...
 


Hi Valencia,

Sorry to hear abt ur loss... we understand how u feel now...Only we understand the feeling, afterall, it's a living thing/ life in our body... What u need now is to recuperate soon and take good care of yourself.

We are here to support u... pour whatever u want to share with us here... Everyone here is a great supporting pillar, I don't deny it and it's great that I've learnt to be back to my own self with their great help.

Bless always...
 

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