Support group - Miscarriages

[puppy2006]

Hi all,

Juz back into the forum again... was tied up to complete a project... so didn't pop by the forum... Wow, there's a lot of postings to catch up ;p

Hi thewife, don't get angry or upset over ur hb's reaction, I guess he's still trying to get over... Men don't express their sadness or depression well... he needs to express his sadness too... that's why he's turning to his friend etc. Give him more time, I'm sure he'll be ready then. Well, maybe dropping an email or chatting over internet might help, sometimes, I express my thoughts and frustrations to my hb in this way...'cos talking face to face when upset or angry made matters more worst and we found it better in this way... we can express much more better.

hi Charis, Oh... I watched Desperate hsewives too, but missed the Grey's Anatomy... TV watched me slept.. Nowsaday, I fallen asleep quite early... guess was too bz wif work... Guess we women got too many emotional hormones... that's why we can get upset easily... But that make us WOMEN!

hi Volf, so Japan is fun and also a new chapter to your life wif ur hb... Good for you!

K... will try to come in to catch up soon... Enjoy your day, all the best for those going TTC, pray for those waiting for their AF to come and the rest to stay in good health and positive attitude...

Something to share with you all...

A small truth to make our Lifes 100%.......

If
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R
S T U V W X Y Z Is equal to
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16
17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26

Then Hardwork=
H+A+R+D+W+O+R+K =
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%
only

Knowledge=K+N+O+W+L+E+D+G+E
= 11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%
only

Love=L+O+V+E=12+15+22+5=54%

Luck=L+U+C+K = 12+21+3+11 = 47%
(don't most of us think this is most
important???)

Then what makes 100% Is it
Money? ..... No
Leadership? ...... NO

Every problem has a solution, only if we
perhaps change our attitude.To go to the
top, to that 100%

what we really need to go further.....
a bit more.......

Attitude=A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E =
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%

It is OUR ATTITUDE towards Life, otherPeople and Work that makes OUR Life 100%

 

[seemic]

hi all

I am new here.. I am now in my 20th week and did my detailed scan on Mon.. However the scan reveals that my bb boy has a congential heart defect and if he were to be born, he will have to undergo various operations to correct the problem.. We have consulted 2 doctors and the results were consistent..

My hubby and I have decided to terminate the pregnancy and the procedure will be done on Friday.. It hurts a lot and I know this wound will never ever heal.. I had just felt his kickings on Saturday and my hubby managed to feel it thru my tummy also.. he was so excited when he felt those kicks.. We even bot fairy tales books and read to him.. He was so active during the detailed scan, he was busy moving ard his hands and legs, touching here and there.. so cute yet such thing has to happen to him..

I know it is a painful decision to make but we are doing it for our bb's future. We dun want him to lead a life having to go in and out of hospitals and not being able to lead active lives like other normal kids... Right now as i am typing, i can still feel his kicks, i dunno if he is trying to tell me not to give up on him.. I am really very tramatised by this and I dunno how long it will take for me to get over this...

Sorry for the long msg.. I just wanna share here...

Wishing u gals all the best..

 

[koli]

dear michelle,
so sorry to hear that. indeed it's painful to terminate the pregnancy now since you are in your 20th week. i am sad for u too but i believe u love your bb that's y u dun want him to suffer in future. that's the love that is in u and ur hb. All the best! dun be despair.

 

[val1977]

hi Micelle,

is this ur 1st baby?
well, if let say u spend thousands for IVF n this bb is succeeded during ur IVF, will u want to terminate becos of heart defects?
hiaz..i knw it is a very difficult n painful decision that you hv to made, but do ponder some quests n discuss wif your husband n families

Believe in God that He will do miracles in your baby's health

Easter is coming n that if you need miracles, my church is having a healing service on easter friday n saturday,
can pm me if you are interested

 

[happysunflower]

Hi Volf,
I am happy for you that you are thinking more positive now

I believe you have very beautiful memories and happy moments with hubby in Japan

. Did you try the interesting tit-bits they have in Japan?
Try to think of happy moments when you feel sad ok? Slowly, you will feel better. It will take time...

Jia you!
I am doing fine, thank you

Hi Michelle,
It's indeed a very difficult decision to make. It's very sad that you have to make this decision. Like what valerie has mentioned, do you really want to terminate it becos of heart defects? Will there be a chance that baby will be able to survive after birth despite the heart defects? Do discuss about the decision with your hubby and family... Do you still wanna seek more opinions?

If you do decide to change your mind, do talk to baby and believe that he/she is a "tian cai" who will heal himself/herself. I dunno if it will work, but I read about it from a book on "tai jiao" in chinese. So far, other things recommended inside did work out... It's not easy to get hold of the book. If you want, I can scan the few pages and send to you via email and you read it for yourself.

 

[droopy_eyes]

Hi Wilma, I think your husband is undergoing too much stress. & this may not be healthy in the TTC process. Husbands always think we are wasting our time in this forum becoz we will tend to read and brood over the information we got from here. Well, in a way, they may be right...the more we read, the more we are stressed up. While this forum has provided alot of support n I myself have made many friends here, I do agree with my husband that sometimes we have to stop coming in for a while and refocus abit on other things. There are more to life, don't let TTC spoil the relationship between u n yr hubby. Jia You ok?

 

[val1977]

Volf,
wah so envy u had this wonderful n enjoyable holiday in Japan!
hee....to me Japan is a very refreshing n happening country

well, take ur time to get ready in emotional and physical for ttc...God bless you

Lyn,
wah so excited u be holding ur boy boy in 2 mths plus time
ya tai jiao is v impt,hee..

Hi Puppy,
I like ur 100% attitude

we all must keep it up!

 

[wilma]

Hi droopy,

You're right, my hb is undergoing a lot of stress. I'm supposed to test tomorrow for the IUI cycle i went through this month. I know inside it's going to fail(don't ask me why, just know it, intuition, what you call that) so i told myself i will try naturally for these 2 months until June when my hb has more time due to the school hols and hope by then if i'm still not preggie he will be kan cheong knowing i do not have much time. Wow, what a long sentence i've typed hehehe. I also think i should step back and ponder at times when things get too much to handle. Thanks for your valuable advice!

Hello thewife- sorry for not replying earlier, didn't think its right for me to post here about my woes after the first time. You can always PM me if you need to hear my side of story hehe. But to let you know, i also have been seeing my gynae, doing things on my own and also my hb is a very impatient person

 

[droopy_eyes]

wilma, who knows, if u n yr hubby dun think too much abt ttc n just concentrate on enjoying the BD process, u may just have good news for us soon!

Relax alright?

 

[coralmarine]

Hi Michelle, it's indeed a very painful decision. I've been there before. However, any chance of bb's heart healing with time? I dread detail scan.

 

[volf20]

Hi thewife - I did not hv a D&C. My boy was 24 wks, and I delivered him naturally. So the spotting is like after a normal birth. I suppose the bleeding after a D&C and delivery cld be different in the quantity and length of time.

Valerie / Lynn - Thanks for your kind thots. You take care too.

Michelle - My heart goes out to you. I know perfectly how you feel since my boy was also mid-term when he was delivered. My gynae had also recommended that we dun resuscitate him shld he be born before 24 wks becos it wld mean serious breathing problems (till adulthood if he survives), congenital disorders etc. My gf's bb was born with congenital disorders including hole in the heart, cleft lips etc etc. Sad to say, the boy did not live beyond his one year. And even then, he was in hospital the whole of the one year with tubes all over him. It was a very sad thing for the baby and the parents.

I personally think you have done the best you can, and it is for your baby's own good; not to mention your (and hubby) emotional, mental, physical, and monetary health. If you have done all the tests, scans, and there's nothing to be done to help yr bb, then do stand by your decision and hang in there.Spend as much time talking and playing with your baby now... and then let go.

My baby came to me in a vision that very night I lost him. I was telling him before it all happened that mummy and daddy loves him, and that if anything happens, we will see him in heaven. It helped us move on and at peace whenever I think of him in that vision.

If u nd someone to talk to, you can email me directly at [email protected].

 

[happysunflower]

Hi Michelle,
May God bless you and your family... Wish you a fast recovery...


Hi Valerie,
Thank you

Fingers and toes crossed...


Hi Wilma,
Lots of baby dusts to you

Wish you success in your IUI...

 

[seemic]

hi..

thanks to all who have showed concern..

we decide to give up the baby coz we dun want him to suffer when he comes to the world.. And the doctor says his situation is likely to worsen as i progress into the later stage of the pregnancy.. we dun want him to suffer and not being able to do normal things like other kids.. and his operations will be on long term for eg. he will have to go for operation to replace his shunt about every 10 yrs... we dun want him to suffer thru all this pain and spending all his childhood in hospitals..

We believe that our baby will come back to us in my new pregnancy but in a healthy body... I am scheduled for the procedure on Monday, hopefully will be able to take it... And that the procedure will be smooth...

Thanks once again!

 

[coralmarine]

Hi Michelle, may the process go smoothly for you.And enjoy these few days with your bb. Eat whatever food that comes to your mind. Hb and I bought bb for walks at the sea, spend family time with both sides of the family, took quite a lot of oictures together, etc. We want to let him know that we love him and letting him go is to shorten his sufferings. Bb understand. Wishing you a smooth process and speedy recovery. Do have confinement after that. This is no different from normal birth. I did a one month confinement. For me the process was long but smooth and safe. Think happy thoughts and let bb leave with positive thoughts in him/her. Take care.

 

[chara]

Hi michelle...

Im so sorry u have to go thru this painful decision to decide to abort or not..Im sorry I cant say much too or advise much cos as a believer in GOD, i dont condone abortion..no matter wat..unless it threatens the mother's life..But u know wat i would do, is to hang on..sometimes gynaes can be wrong..WE have to fight for our babies..Its the only thing we can do as a mother. If the baby is severly ill, heart defects, etc..maybe u can believe that a natural miscarriage would follow..OR that things turn out well for babies..I personally know of a few ladies whose babies are diagnosed 'mongoliods or Down's Syndrome' in the womb..But these women chose not to abort..& guess wat..the babies turn out normal, beautiful..I've seen the kids..they are now teenagers doing so well at sports n school..

Well..watever it is, its yr decision & yr husbnd's..esp if u think of how the baby may turn out & the bills u may incur & it may be way over affordable...I guess its personal faith. So my heart truly goes out to u..no matter wat..

 

[ling156]

Dear frens

Thank you all for your kinds words and encouragement. Am so glad that I found this website!

I totally understand what you've all said. I too went ahead to buy some baby clothes when I was out shopping in KL. They were so cute! I even bought some girls dresses in the event that it was a girl. They were so pretty I couldn't resist. After all that happened, they are still in their boxes waiting to be opened. I sometimes take out the boxes just to look at them...

We've actually started TTC oridy. Hope this next baby will be strong and healthy.

Michelle
So sorry to hear of your heartache and pain. Here's wishing you the strength and willpower to carry this through. Take care of yourself and have a speedy recovery. Coral's right, do remember to do your confinement too. And I'm sure your son will understand your decision.

Take care of yourself and Hb..

 

[val1977]

Dear Michelle,
I will keep you in prayer for the delivery to be smooth
do spent sometimes wif ur son after u give birth, and if possible take a photo of him
I regret for not taking my gal
ya as what Coral said, do a PROPER CONFINEMENT

Maybe can ask you families to prepare the stuff for confinement now...

God bless your family

 

[chara]

Hi michelle & ladies..

Hey..u know I jus realised I should share this..my husband was a baby that didnt seem normal during pregnancy BUT his mum chose to keep him..Well he had some birth defects, he had to go thru an major operation after he was born..But his parents hang on & they werent rich at all..he spent most of his childhood in the hospital..the needle pricks for his IV is still visible on his hand, feet..COS they had to draw his blood too so many times & there are 2 huge scars on his tummy now that wont go away..But there was GOD with HIM all the way..He never blamed anyone including his parents for letting him live..He accepted it..in fact He thanked GOD for letting him live, & his parents for holding on giving him a chance to live..& this ordeals made him stronger, mature, with so much faith for life..& that was wat attracted me to him when i met him in secondary school!

 

[puppy2006]

Dear Michelle,

Pray for you and your family... and take really good care of yourself. I believe whatever decision you had made had been thoroughly thought thru' and discussed. I respect your decision and I'm sure your bb will understand. Do treasure all these precious time together as much as possible.

Do remember to have good confinement too... And may god bless you!

Hi rest of the gals...My 1st AF after m/c had reported this morning... I suspected is coming 'cos I was having this symptoms of getting very hungry easily esp. last night...

Let me spread the AF dust to those who wants it to come... ******

It's weekend, do cheer up and have an enjoyable weekend ahead!

 

[mar_bride]

Hi Michelle,
Really sorry to hear that and pls take good care and like what those girls said, must hv a good confinement. Take care...

Hi Puppy2006,
You are seeing DR Ho HK too? He is my gynae too....he told me to ttc after my 1st AF which I'm still waiting after 3 weeks....

 

[puppy2006]

Hi doggy,

Yes, Dr Ho HK is my gynae... I'm going back to him in 2 wks time for pap smear... Luckily the AF came now and right time for pap smear by then...

So far how you find him? He was recommended by my family doc and so far he's very fatherly to me...

Don't get stress over the AF...Mine took abt 5 weeks for it to come...But my symptom of coming as mentioned earlier is that I get really hungry easily and will want to eat after an hr or 2 aft my meals...

If you have msn or yahoo chat... maybe we can chat online... ([email protected] or [email protected])...

cheers,

 

[coralmarine]

Hi Ling, lots of baby dust to you!

 

[volf20]

Hey ladies - anyone heard of the Thong Chai Medical INstitution famous for TCM at Chin Swee Rd? Is it any gd in their diagnosis? Am thinking of going there for a 'wellness' checkup to make sure am ok before I TTC. Am still waiting for my 1st AF.

 

[woof]

hey ladies,
i went to the polyclinic todae...actually was there n wanted to do a pre-conception checkup...but den they dun haf this service...gave me a referral letter and haf to go to KKH to do tat...was referred to the specialise clinic in KKH.....

anyone has went thur any checkup like blood tests and scan etc?

 

[val1977]

Volf,
yup heard before, do you konw where Red Star restaurant is?
Thong Chai is just opp...I always passby there cos my grandmother lives there

d woof,
hmm..why dont you do the pre conception chkup at ur gynae clinic?
well bloodtest will be rubella, Hep a/b, Chickenpox (I think) and ya scan also...

 

[woof]

hey val,
thanx for ur info...well i din wan to go to my gynae coz i tink private one will be more ex..so decided to go to polyclinic...
beside these bloodtests tat u mentioned...any other things coz my hb is thalasemmia minor so i wud like to find out abt myself...wat do they scan for...do they scan ur ovaries?
tks in advance

 

[val1977]

d woof,
oh ya I forgot this blood test for thalasemmia minor, is included too n HIV
Hmm...ya going to polyclinic to get a referral letter maybe cheaper but then got to queue if you going KK?
find out more, also ask ur gynae abt the charges too n compare both

oh yes ultrascan is abdomen scan n there is vagina scan too and it is more detail and see clearly ur womb n ovary
so got 2 types of scan

 

[droopy_eyes]

Dear Michelle, my heart goes out to you. The decision u made is not an easy one, important thing is u have made it out of love for your bb. Do eat well and rest well. The one month confinement is important, some things we just need to leave it to god, what u can do is keep ourselves very healthy for yr next bb n pregnancy.

Do hang on there. Hugz...

 

[mar_bride]

Hi Volf,
I browse thru the thread of IVF support group, this was one of the recommended TCM...

Hi Puppy2006,
My yahoo is [email protected] we chat more then

 

[chara]

Hi ladies..

Im still waiting for 2nd AF..past 28 days already..today is 31 days alrd since lst AF..BUT I heard cycle can be irregular after m/c or take more than 28 days in between..

 

[mar_bride]

Hi Charis,
Me still waiting for my 1st AF to come. Can I know when is your 1st AF? I mean how many days did it come after your M/C?

 

[chara]

Hi doggy..

My 1st AF was exactly 4 weeks after m/c. Later also still normal..dont worry..Some women was 7-8 weeks later.

 

[woof]

hey charis,
no worries....tat time i oso worried...1st AF came ard 3wks plus almost 4 after d&C...den 2nd AF came on the CD36....yeah...it mite go haywire after m/c but some still haf regular AF..really depends on individual...
dun stress urself ok? if not the stress level can cause a delay in ur AF...

 

[woof]

hey charis,
no worries....tat time i oso worried...1st AF came ard 3wks plus almost 4 after d&C...den 2nd AF came on the CD36....yeah...it mite go haywire after m/c but some still haf regular AF..really depends on individual...
dun stress urself ok? if not the stress level can cause a delay in ur AF...

 

[woof]

sori double posting

 

[thewife]

Hi doggymar & charis,
mine also more than 30 days since D&C, worried. somemore i have irregular mense, thinking of eating supplements to regulate it.

 

[puppy2006]

Hi ladies,

Don't get stress over AF appearing... The more stress u r, the more it delay... As mentioned, mine came 5th wk aft m/c...it's norm... 'cos my gynae mentioned it takes abt 4 wks to 8 wks for it to returned... So don't stress, be positive... and sure it'll come!

Gave u AF dust...will come soon!

 

[val1977]

ya think stress will delay Af leh...
my 3rd AF still hv nt come yet, CD34 liao

 

[woof]

val,
guess wat...todae polyclinic called todae to tell me tat my appt will be on 9th may....wakao so long....nearly a mth.....if i cant wait den i will c how den...hehe

 

[val1977]

woof
aiyo so long ah?
hmm yalor, u see if u want to go to ur gynae for chkup or nt...

 

[woof]

hey val,
ya lor...so long hor..i din expect tat too....my colleague recommended SGH where her gynae is leh.....she said tat she's gd but den long waiting hrs too.....confused

 

[woof]

hey val,
ya lor...so long hor..i din expect tat too....my colleague recommended SGH where her gynae is leh.....she said tat she's gd but den long waiting hrs too.....confused

 

[volf20]

Hey doggy - You might want to go for a gynae checkup. My AF is delayed and am still spotting cos hormones gone haywire after m/c. Saw my gynae last evening and he is putting me on some hormone pill to regulate and restart the sys. He says my pregnancy hormone level still high etc. Also if you did produce milk after the m/c - which I did and took some medication to stop lactating (only happens if u m/c mid-term), it will also cause havoc for yr sys.

Will only start TTC after the all clear and sys regulated in Jun/Jul. Gynae will prob do a scan for you to check if yr womb is ok etc. I also went for some blood tests this morn.

 

[chara]

Looks like most of our cycles haywire a bit after m/c..esp 2nd AF seem to come after more than 28 days. BUT hope tat everything back to normal soon..Very hard to predict when is fertile days & so on if cycles are irregular right. Will anything help? How about evening primrose? Im on Usana's Multi-Vit Essentials program..supposedly very good my MIL says.

 

[puipui80]

hi gals,

its been a long time since i came into tis thread..i jus found out im preganant again after 4 mths since i lost my 3 boys last nov..even though im happy i managed to get pregnant again, i have been soo worried and anxious tat i cant seem to relax and enjoy my tis pregnancy...my friend told me tat if u always think abt miscarriage, it will really happen, is it true? i have been so afraid when i heard tis coz the fear of miscarriage has been on my mind constantly..anyone experience same anxiety but managed to pull thu?

 

[ryes]

HI PUIPUI,

congrats to you. I would say I would be like you too, like very worried and anxious, but think it this way, if you worry too much it's not going to benefit you to be a happy mum and also for bb too.

So psycho yourself and stop thinking. Think bb first, and be happy, then you will be able to pull thru.

 

[ryes]

sob sob, talking abt AF< mine not here yet leh..this sat will be the 8th week liao....sob sob.

do you girls burp alot, have bloated tummies, lots of gas to pass out? I been having such symptoms lately, duno is it PMS or af coming or not....

 

[puppy2006]

Hi Charis,

Usana products are excellent. I actually took their EPO for the past 1 year... And it had been good for my skin (as I had eczema). It somehow regulate my hormone in a way and thus easily pin point my fertile days easily.

Overall, Usana products are very well recognised and recommended by people... BTW, I'm not into Usana MLM, so no worry. Hubby juz bought the products as he tried and find it good... Their facial products are good too... but I didn't use, hubby uses (he's more vain than me ;p)

Hi doggy, u might want chk wif Dr Ho if ur AF didn't rtn in ur next visit to him,...I believe he scheduled to see u in abt 6 wks aft the post op review, right?... I'll b seeing him in 2 wks times... Ur spotting aft m/c shall have stopped by 2nd or 3rd wk for some cases... so no worry if spotting still occured.

 

[puppy2006]

Congrat Puipui...

I guess the worries and anxieties of m/c will always linger in our mind... Juz move on and be a happy mum instead... don't get yourself too stress over it... Think of ur bb now and forget abt the past... Yes, it always easy to say forget abt the past, but if we don't action it... it will be there forever and makes u worries more... Cheers UP! Be positive, ok!???!!

 

[puipui80]

hi gals,

thanks for the encouragement..i always tot a new baby will make me forget the past but i seem to have problems welcomin tis new addition, i feel really bad at times and seem hard to accept..but i think u are all right, i should jus physcho myself to be more positive..i think i jus find it really hard to bond with tis new baby for fear of losing again so scared of being too attached.