Support group - Miscarriages
- Thread starter linda
- Start date
Wah..lots of info being passed around...
I dont know how to observe my cervical mucus leh..That time i got pregnant..I used an ovulation kit jus so happen..and it detected the LH surge. But I basically guess when I ovulate, which is 10-14 days after menses..based on a 28 day cycle.
I dont know how to observe my cervical mucus leh..That time i got pregnant..I used an ovulation kit jus so happen..and it detected the LH surge. But I basically guess when I ovulate, which is 10-14 days after menses..based on a 28 day cycle.
morning gals! How have you been? been buing enuff?
Remember to stay positive....
about FSH.... FSH is a rough estimation on your eggs reserve and could also point to the quality of your egg..... an elevated level could indicate egg quality issue or egg reserve being low....
This test is normally done around CD3 thou some gynae will also do this up to CD5. So, please check with your gynae.
Alright gals, take good care ya... I'lll try to come in here as and when.
Hi Charis, you can find out more on EWCM from the web... just type in egg white cervical mucus. .... they will teach you how to observe it.... and some have pictures....
basically, it looks like egg white and should be stretchable between your fingers.... that is an indication of fertile period.
Remember to stay positive....
about FSH.... FSH is a rough estimation on your eggs reserve and could also point to the quality of your egg..... an elevated level could indicate egg quality issue or egg reserve being low....
This test is normally done around CD3 thou some gynae will also do this up to CD5. So, please check with your gynae.
Alright gals, take good care ya... I'lll try to come in here as and when.
Hi Charis, you can find out more on EWCM from the web... just type in egg white cervical mucus. .... they will teach you how to observe it.... and some have pictures....
basically, it looks like egg white and should be stretchable between your fingers.... that is an indication of fertile period.
hi girls,
If you need a calendar to track and record your AF every month, here are 2 useful links that I use. I record my AF in there and my husband uses it to try and not clash his business trips with the O dates.
Personally, I prefer the first URL as it give a larger window of when O might occur (in light green), and the O date itself in dark green.
http://www.cyclespage.com/index.html
http://www.mycycle.com/html/index.html
Hope you find it useful!
If you need a calendar to track and record your AF every month, here are 2 useful links that I use. I record my AF in there and my husband uses it to try and not clash his business trips with the O dates.
Personally, I prefer the first URL as it give a larger window of when O might occur (in light green), and the O date itself in dark green.
http://www.cyclespage.com/index.html
http://www.mycycle.com/html/index.html
Hope you find it useful!
hi sophie,
thanx for recommendation...i m using mycycle...
according to my mycycle...my AF should be here on 28th but till now no sight of it.....n i juz checked cyclespage which u recommended...it shld be 27th...dunno izzit bcoz of the D&C tat cause the AF to go haywire..i used to haf very regular cycle of abt 28-30daes...
thanx for recommendation...i m using mycycle...
according to my mycycle...my AF should be here on 28th but till now no sight of it.....n i juz checked cyclespage which u recommended...it shld be 27th...dunno izzit bcoz of the D&C tat cause the AF to go haywire..i used to haf very regular cycle of abt 28-30daes...
hi just wanted to check something, for those who had miscarraiged before 10 weeks, what was yr AF like for the first time after the d&C?
It's my first AF -medication induced after the d & C 6 months ago and the flow is extremely heavy - those kind that need to change tampons/pads wihtin less than 2 hr. plus clots and cramps.
can anyone advise if this is to be expected? or is this somewhat abnormal?
i'm in CD3 and it's still in full force.
It's my first AF -medication induced after the d & C 6 months ago and the flow is extremely heavy - those kind that need to change tampons/pads wihtin less than 2 hr. plus clots and cramps.
can anyone advise if this is to be expected? or is this somewhat abnormal?
i'm in CD3 and it's still in full force.
hi ladies,
On wed, i felt sudden cramp on my left obdomen on wed nite, checked my O kit, seen 2 lines, result line slightly more faint, checked the site i purchased the kit, could not tell whether its +ve or -ve. anyway we happen to BD on tues.
last nite my hubby mentioned that he might be working late, so i said he promise me to be home...then he told me he's getting irritated with the 'baby' thinggy. At that instance, i felt so depressed and alone. I didnt even feel that sad after m/c as he was there for me. I cannot bring myself to talk to him about it, but decided to just forget about the whole ttc, maybe he's just not ready.
On wed, i felt sudden cramp on my left obdomen on wed nite, checked my O kit, seen 2 lines, result line slightly more faint, checked the site i purchased the kit, could not tell whether its +ve or -ve. anyway we happen to BD on tues.
last nite my hubby mentioned that he might be working late, so i said he promise me to be home...then he told me he's getting irritated with the 'baby' thinggy. At that instance, i felt so depressed and alone. I didnt even feel that sad after m/c as he was there for me. I cannot bring myself to talk to him about it, but decided to just forget about the whole ttc, maybe he's just not ready.
Hi thewife,
Maybe things happened within the same month and he is not in mood to talk abt baby thingy all day round? I feel that my hb is the same too and we had a row yesterday nite....well, just let things takes its natural course and if we are meant to be preggie again, it will happen. Dun worry too much
Maybe things happened within the same month and he is not in mood to talk abt baby thingy all day round? I feel that my hb is the same too and we had a row yesterday nite....well, just let things takes its natural course and if we are meant to be preggie again, it will happen. Dun worry too much
cookies_gal
New Member
Hi d woof,
Do you usually experience any sign and symptoms before your AF arrives? eg, cramps, breast tenderness, bloated stomach, water retention. I find that this is my best indicator of when my AF will be here. Are you experiencing any symptoms yet? If so, don't worry, your AF will be here soon.
Hi babymaking,
I'm also in CD3 now and this is my 1st AF after D&C. It came naturally though, and flow is like before. My cramping this AF is very mild though. I usually experience quite painful cramps on CD1. Maybe your AF is so heavy because it has been delayed for so long?
Do you usually experience any sign and symptoms before your AF arrives? eg, cramps, breast tenderness, bloated stomach, water retention. I find that this is my best indicator of when my AF will be here. Are you experiencing any symptoms yet? If so, don't worry, your AF will be here soon.
Hi babymaking,
I'm also in CD3 now and this is my 1st AF after D&C. It came naturally though, and flow is like before. My cramping this AF is very mild though. I usually experience quite painful cramps on CD1. Maybe your AF is so heavy because it has been delayed for so long?
hi woofy,
Those URLs only "predicts" your AF based on your last AF or your average cycle. It does not take into consideration stress like an m/c or even work-related stress. My cycle used to be quite regular at 28-30 days, but after the m/c, it's now 28-33 days. What I do is look at the green days, then try and observe my cervical mucous to understand my own body better, so that when I start to TTC, I will know when the fertile days are.
How are your visits to your sinseh going? I'm happy with mine so far as my pains are reduced, and during my last AF, I actually didn't have much period cramps! I suspect my hubby thinks TCMs are "quacks" and I understand that the pains go away because some Chinese herbs are steroid-like, but steroids in its natural form, not synthetic like the Western medicine. But my pains went away
, so I'll continue taking it for another month or 2 till I'm ready to TTC again.
hi babymaking,
My first AF after d&c was super heavy too.. it came about 5 weeks after d&C, and I had to change 2 to 3 pads every 2 hrs for the first 4 days. Had clots and slight cramps. Since your AF is induced by medication, you may want to call your gynae/clinic to check with them?
Those URLs only "predicts" your AF based on your last AF or your average cycle. It does not take into consideration stress like an m/c or even work-related stress. My cycle used to be quite regular at 28-30 days, but after the m/c, it's now 28-33 days. What I do is look at the green days, then try and observe my cervical mucous to understand my own body better, so that when I start to TTC, I will know when the fertile days are.
How are your visits to your sinseh going? I'm happy with mine so far as my pains are reduced, and during my last AF, I actually didn't have much period cramps! I suspect my hubby thinks TCMs are "quacks" and I understand that the pains go away because some Chinese herbs are steroid-like, but steroids in its natural form, not synthetic like the Western medicine. But my pains went away
hi babymaking,
My first AF after d&c was super heavy too.. it came about 5 weeks after d&C, and I had to change 2 to 3 pads every 2 hrs for the first 4 days. Had clots and slight cramps. Since your AF is induced by medication, you may want to call your gynae/clinic to check with them?
coralmarine
Active Member
HI Val, the book is "Conception, Pregnancy, & Birth - The childbirth bible for today's parents" by Dr Miriam Stoppard. I don't now the price as there's no price tag on the book.
cookies'gal
thks for relating your experience. for a bit of feedback, i have PCOS so super irregularly AF is not uncommon, to take medicine to induce AF is not uncommon as well.
but first time i cannot manage the flow as it's copious.
sophie,
i;m worried but i can't reach my gynae nor his clinic...KKH IVF.
thks for relating your experience. for a bit of feedback, i have PCOS so super irregularly AF is not uncommon, to take medicine to induce AF is not uncommon as well.
but first time i cannot manage the flow as it's copious.
sophie,
i;m worried but i can't reach my gynae nor his clinic...KKH IVF.
hey cookie's gal,
i m oso looking out for symptoms leh..but den seems like no tender breasts which i surely experience it before....however, recently i feel tired easily and oso bloated stomach (wind in the tummy).....recently i oso feel my head spinning once in a while....dunno izzit bcoz not enuff blood....oh ya...i was tinking cud it b due to the last AF...actually my last AF very weird...it flowed for 5daes n den haf brown discharge for another 5daes....so total like 10daes for it to clear....dunno izzit the cause of it....
sophia,
i m aware tat they are a rough guage for us onli...but last time when i use mycycle itz very accurate.....time frame difference is onli a day or 2 onli....
as for the sinseh, ok lor....cant really tell much yet..for my 1st AF still experience cramps as i onli visit her 2wks before my 1st AF reports...so now waiting for the 2nd one to c any difference or not....
sori do u mind me asking u again...who is ur sinseh huh?
i m oso looking out for symptoms leh..but den seems like no tender breasts which i surely experience it before....however, recently i feel tired easily and oso bloated stomach (wind in the tummy).....recently i oso feel my head spinning once in a while....dunno izzit bcoz not enuff blood....oh ya...i was tinking cud it b due to the last AF...actually my last AF very weird...it flowed for 5daes n den haf brown discharge for another 5daes....so total like 10daes for it to clear....dunno izzit the cause of it....
sophia,
i m aware tat they are a rough guage for us onli...but last time when i use mycycle itz very accurate.....time frame difference is onli a day or 2 onli....
as for the sinseh, ok lor....cant really tell much yet..for my 1st AF still experience cramps as i onli visit her 2wks before my 1st AF reports...so now waiting for the 2nd one to c any difference or not....
sori do u mind me asking u again...who is ur sinseh huh?
cookies_gal
New Member
Hi d woof,
Then looks like you just have to be patient lor. Don't stress out too much over AF or else you might cause it to delay even further! Also, because you're on TCM, maybe the medication may change your cycle?
If you suspect that you don't have enuff blood, take some iron pills or eat iron-rich foods like liver and spinach. Actually, old folks used to say that women should take liver after AF ends to replenish the blood lost in AF. Dunno true or not but no harm doing that in moderation!
Then looks like you just have to be patient lor. Don't stress out too much over AF or else you might cause it to delay even further! Also, because you're on TCM, maybe the medication may change your cycle?
If you suspect that you don't have enuff blood, take some iron pills or eat iron-rich foods like liver and spinach. Actually, old folks used to say that women should take liver after AF ends to replenish the blood lost in AF. Dunno true or not but no harm doing that in moderation!
hey ladies,
chance upon this website abt FSH testing:
http://www.early-pregnancy-tests.com/fsh-tests.html
and we can even order to test our eggs are fertile or nt:
http://www.early-pregnancy-tests.com/fsh.html
anyone interested?
hee...I am pretty interested
However, gt to pee on the kit at cd3....so means during menses
will be quite messy....but no harm give a try
chance upon this website abt FSH testing:
http://www.early-pregnancy-tests.com/fsh-tests.html
and we can even order to test our eggs are fertile or nt:
http://www.early-pregnancy-tests.com/fsh.html
anyone interested?
hee...I am pretty interested
However, gt to pee on the kit at cd3....so means during menses
will be quite messy....but no harm give a try
hi woofy,
The sinseh I go to is Wong Chin Nai from the Thomson Imperial Court at Chee Seng Tong. I think you mentioned you've been to see him once? I just found out that if you don't want to spend hours boiling herbs, they can also do a ready-made powder form cos I saw some other people buying the powder type.
hi babymaking,
How's your AF and cramps? feeling better?
The sinseh I go to is Wong Chin Nai from the Thomson Imperial Court at Chee Seng Tong. I think you mentioned you've been to see him once? I just found out that if you don't want to spend hours boiling herbs, they can also do a ready-made powder form cos I saw some other people buying the powder type.
hi babymaking,
How's your AF and cramps? feeling better?
hi thewife, I think your hubby probably has different ways of handling... I'm sure he's also sad... just that they dun show it....
as it's a vulnerable period... you tend to be more sensitive...... can understand... but try to open up more and tell your hubby how you feel and that you need more support from him.....
dun be sad...now has to keep a positive mindset... and most impt don't hu si luan xiang....
as it's a vulnerable period... you tend to be more sensitive...... can understand... but try to open up more and tell your hubby how you feel and that you need more support from him.....
dun be sad...now has to keep a positive mindset... and most impt don't hu si luan xiang....
hi the wife,
agreed with elmo....take it easy.
My spotting finally stop after D&C. But i think i'm suffering from insomia (dunno spell correctly). I cant sleep thru'out this whole week. Cant sleep and dun feel tired at all. feel irritated instead. I feel this is not healthy at all and not sure should i see a doctor....
agreed with elmo....take it easy.
My spotting finally stop after D&C. But i think i'm suffering from insomia (dunno spell correctly). I cant sleep thru'out this whole week. Cant sleep and dun feel tired at all. feel irritated instead. I feel this is not healthy at all and not sure should i see a doctor....
hi elmo & doggy(mar_bride),
had a talk with my hubby...it's pretty hurting cos he mentioned that his sex drive is low because I dun have orgasm, I dun initiate and the baby thinggy seems very troublesoom. But its not that he is deprived, he just dun have the urge overall.
had a talk with my hubby...it's pretty hurting cos he mentioned that his sex drive is low because I dun have orgasm, I dun initiate and the baby thinggy seems very troublesoom. But its not that he is deprived, he just dun have the urge overall.
Hi thewife,
I happen to browse this thread and although i don't have any miscarriage history, (still trying hard to TTC), I want to say that i know exactly what you're going through with your hubby now because that is exactly what my hubby told me. He asked me if i have noticed that he has had a low sex drive ever since we started this ttc thing and he mentioned that it is very stressful for him to go through IUI because he said he is not a sperm producing machine and cannot simply go into a room and expect to ejaculate within a stipulated time frame. Yesterday we had a big row over this and like you, i think i may have to shelve this my IUI schedule for now and pray that i can conceive naturally. My hb is a teacher so maybe he is under a lot of stress and it is not easy to take time-off for such things, haiz , so many obstacles. Now i feel i've reached a dead end because my gynae has given me 6 months to try and conceive due to my adenomyosis and if nothing happens , i may have to go through another round of treatment which means more time wasted.
It is very hurting really when our hb tell us all this and worst that they think we don't understand them and only feel that we are the ones under a lot of stress. He even said i should stop visiting this website because it is feeding me with a lot of "harmful" biased information but i told him this is the only place i could find support if i cannot get from him. (i never told my family about my IUI). I think his urge to have a child is not as strong as mine and that could be the reason why all these things crop up - low sex drive , troublesome ttc process.
Sorry for the rambling, just needed to get things off my chest.
I happen to browse this thread and although i don't have any miscarriage history, (still trying hard to TTC), I want to say that i know exactly what you're going through with your hubby now because that is exactly what my hubby told me. He asked me if i have noticed that he has had a low sex drive ever since we started this ttc thing and he mentioned that it is very stressful for him to go through IUI because he said he is not a sperm producing machine and cannot simply go into a room and expect to ejaculate within a stipulated time frame. Yesterday we had a big row over this and like you, i think i may have to shelve this my IUI schedule for now and pray that i can conceive naturally. My hb is a teacher so maybe he is under a lot of stress and it is not easy to take time-off for such things, haiz , so many obstacles. Now i feel i've reached a dead end because my gynae has given me 6 months to try and conceive due to my adenomyosis and if nothing happens , i may have to go through another round of treatment which means more time wasted.
It is very hurting really when our hb tell us all this and worst that they think we don't understand them and only feel that we are the ones under a lot of stress. He even said i should stop visiting this website because it is feeding me with a lot of "harmful" biased information but i told him this is the only place i could find support if i cannot get from him. (i never told my family about my IUI). I think his urge to have a child is not as strong as mine and that could be the reason why all these things crop up - low sex drive , troublesome ttc process.
Sorry for the rambling, just needed to get things off my chest.
Hi Wilma,
we're definitely in the same boat. I've not done IUI, been seeing chinese doc and gynae alone, i didnt even dare to bring my hubby along cos he's quite impatient and hate wasting his time, esp. if this is more like something that i want more. I'm the one going thru most of the 'trouble' alone and handled the miscarriage more positively than what he would expect. Afterall, I'm blaming myself, I've PCOS,I dun have regular mense which makes it more difficult. He may not be married if he had not meet me. I'm quite lost actually, as I couldnt pretend not to be unhappy in front of him.
we're definitely in the same boat. I've not done IUI, been seeing chinese doc and gynae alone, i didnt even dare to bring my hubby along cos he's quite impatient and hate wasting his time, esp. if this is more like something that i want more. I'm the one going thru most of the 'trouble' alone and handled the miscarriage more positively than what he would expect. Afterall, I'm blaming myself, I've PCOS,I dun have regular mense which makes it more difficult. He may not be married if he had not meet me. I'm quite lost actually, as I couldnt pretend not to be unhappy in front of him.
sane
Active Member
hi mar bride
im exactly like u after my last MC. Everyday I will surf internet until 6am, i can't sleep at all.
I feel irritated and will just lose my temper at poor hb. Despite it's almost 4mths, i still feel sad but not as bad as initially. I assumed it's part of the healing process.
im exactly like u after my last MC. Everyday I will surf internet until 6am, i can't sleep at all.
I feel irritated and will just lose my temper at poor hb. Despite it's almost 4mths, i still feel sad but not as bad as initially. I assumed it's part of the healing process.
hi thewife,
I think it's very important to get the focus right, i.e. the focus should be on the relationship....as that is the most important base of the marriage..... I think that having children is just to complete the marriage.... as it's supposed to be result of the love between a couple.... so try to resolve the issues with your hubby... I feel that there could be other things that he is not saying... sometimes I find that communication between couple needs to be worked at, as we are different species...
but I believe it can be worked out. Just need more TLC....and effort....
I believe he just need time to cool off....and dun just keep focusing on the bb thing unless both of you are very determine to have a bb... cos ultimately it's supposed to be a mutual agreement... he probably wants more couple time now and dun wan to think about bb yet.....so just let things be natural.... just make love....and most impt must talk about your feelings so that he don't misunderstand you.....
just remember the guy whom you marry... the guy you love and the guy who loves you.....
I think it's very important to get the focus right, i.e. the focus should be on the relationship....as that is the most important base of the marriage..... I think that having children is just to complete the marriage.... as it's supposed to be result of the love between a couple.... so try to resolve the issues with your hubby... I feel that there could be other things that he is not saying... sometimes I find that communication between couple needs to be worked at, as we are different species...
but I believe it can be worked out. Just need more TLC....and effort.... I believe he just need time to cool off....and dun just keep focusing on the bb thing unless both of you are very determine to have a bb... cos ultimately it's supposed to be a mutual agreement... he probably wants more couple time now and dun wan to think about bb yet.....so just let things be natural.... just make love....and most impt must talk about your feelings so that he don't misunderstand you.....
just remember the guy whom you marry... the guy you love and the guy who loves you.....
Hi elmo,
thanks for the advice, will take sometime off the ttc matter, but im can't help feeling angry with him cos all he cares about is his hobby and pc. wat Im more upset about is the lack of support here. Im very envious of those with hubbies who are support and gang jiong for them...
thanks for the advice, will take sometime off the ttc matter, but im can't help feeling angry with him cos all he cares about is his hobby and pc. wat Im more upset about is the lack of support here. Im very envious of those with hubbies who are support and gang jiong for them...
hi the wife,
dun feel that way...perhaps just takes it easy....take 1 step at a time? Maybe can do something to spice up your sex life? I mean all of us will go thru' a transition period whereby we dun have the urge for sex.....maybe put this ttc aside 1st and wait till both of you are ready?
Hi bestwishes,
ya, its damn irritating to toss n toss during the nite.....i just cant sleep....yours have been 4 mths? do you intend to see any doc for this? i think its not very good to go on like this.....
dun feel that way...perhaps just takes it easy....take 1 step at a time? Maybe can do something to spice up your sex life? I mean all of us will go thru' a transition period whereby we dun have the urge for sex.....maybe put this ttc aside 1st and wait till both of you are ready?
Hi bestwishes,
ya, its damn irritating to toss n toss during the nite.....i just cant sleep....yours have been 4 mths? do you intend to see any doc for this? i think its not very good to go on like this.....
Hi there
Just want to share with you my feelings and experience TTC after reading some of your journey....
I had my first gal 5 years ago, after 3 years of TTC. Saw 2 gynaes, 1 Chinese doc and had a laproscopic surgery before pregnant with her on first IUI. Imagine our happiness and joy, especially when it was a breeze when i was expecting her... 2 years after she was born, i had a number of setbacks when TTC again... 2 failed IUIs, followed by MC, then 4 consecutive failed IUIs, one laproscopic surgery which showed endometriosis and fibroids; also have PCOS. Then i tried IVF, pregnant with twins (a boy and a girl) but MC on week 8, and had a D&C on week 12. Was quite loss after the D&C and really was disheartened. I am already 38, so how much longer can I TTC I wondered.
I am now prepared to give my all, quit my job and going full time TTC. Its my last dash before i turn 40. Mentally i can still make it, but physically it is a challenge. BUT, if i dont try it now, i may not be able to make it.
So for those TTC out there, DONT GIVE UP!!!
Just want to share with you my feelings and experience TTC after reading some of your journey....
I had my first gal 5 years ago, after 3 years of TTC. Saw 2 gynaes, 1 Chinese doc and had a laproscopic surgery before pregnant with her on first IUI. Imagine our happiness and joy, especially when it was a breeze when i was expecting her... 2 years after she was born, i had a number of setbacks when TTC again... 2 failed IUIs, followed by MC, then 4 consecutive failed IUIs, one laproscopic surgery which showed endometriosis and fibroids; also have PCOS. Then i tried IVF, pregnant with twins (a boy and a girl) but MC on week 8, and had a D&C on week 12. Was quite loss after the D&C and really was disheartened. I am already 38, so how much longer can I TTC I wondered.
I am now prepared to give my all, quit my job and going full time TTC. Its my last dash before i turn 40. Mentally i can still make it, but physically it is a challenge. BUT, if i dont try it now, i may not be able to make it.
So for those TTC out there, DONT GIVE UP!!!
coralmarine
Active Member
Hi the wife, I think men are extremely stressed up when they know they need to perform for bb making. I ever had a tiff with my hb over ttc. So from that time onwards I decided to take it easy and not mention to him about ttc. Just take it "naturally" That is, monitor our own fertility and get them to perform without knowing that we're fertile and it's the time to BD. Then they won't feel so stress and they can perform better. it's more stressful for us to do all these planning but no choice lor, some men just need us to do it this way. Be easy on yourself too. too stress can also affect your ovulation, etc.
dear ladies,
i m still waiting for my AF after my first cycle. But yesterday or 2 days ago, i experience a pain on my right side...i tink itz the part where the gynae used to scan the bb....i dunno izzit due to some side effects but it has past abt 2mths liao leh...pls advise
i m still waiting for my AF after my first cycle. But yesterday or 2 days ago, i experience a pain on my right side...i tink itz the part where the gynae used to scan the bb....i dunno izzit due to some side effects but it has past abt 2mths liao leh...pls advise
Hi coral & elmo,
points taken, will work that out
Hi d woof,
Im waiting for my 1st cycle. few days back felt sudden cramp on my left obdomen, since then Im starting to have slight backache & on-off very mild cramps. Could the pain on your right side be ovulation pain?
points taken, will work that out
Hi d woof,
Im waiting for my 1st cycle. few days back felt sudden cramp on my left obdomen, since then Im starting to have slight backache & on-off very mild cramps. Could the pain on your right side be ovulation pain?
Hi thewife & Mar bride - I agree with Elmo & Alyy that communication btw a couple is very important.
I think men handle the m/c very differently from us ladies. They may appear less emotional, say less abt the situation, and may be able to move on more easily than us. For us, we were carrying our babies for whatever length of the pregnancy before the m/c and hence wld have built up a stronger bond with our babies than our hubbies even if the latter wanted to.
For my case, my hubby has moved on already and fully accepted the m/c even though he was with me during the 3 crucial weeks leading up to the m/c and saw all the trauma. He can talk about it and dun really feel so sorry. For me, I can get cranky still and cry at the strangest or slightest thing or comment. Anyways, it's only 1mth since we lost Zachary at 5.5mths.
I do feel strange and sometimes wonder why my hubby doesnt seem to 'mourn' for Zach, but once I tell him my own feelings and ask him how it feels, it all becomes better. Men just handle such things differently.
Do talk to yr hubby abt yr feelings. Perhaps wld be gd to plan for a relaxing break away fr this all? I just came back from a gd trip to Japan. It was gd for us to spend coupletime and enjoy each other's company just like before we were preggy.
Do take care ... and take heart that you hv support fr your hubby ... (in a difft way).
** ps-maybe plan for a short trip during your fertile period?
Dun tell hubby..heehee..sneaky....just say to take a break fr all these ....
I think men handle the m/c very differently from us ladies. They may appear less emotional, say less abt the situation, and may be able to move on more easily than us. For us, we were carrying our babies for whatever length of the pregnancy before the m/c and hence wld have built up a stronger bond with our babies than our hubbies even if the latter wanted to.
For my case, my hubby has moved on already and fully accepted the m/c even though he was with me during the 3 crucial weeks leading up to the m/c and saw all the trauma. He can talk about it and dun really feel so sorry. For me, I can get cranky still and cry at the strangest or slightest thing or comment. Anyways, it's only 1mth since we lost Zachary at 5.5mths.
I do feel strange and sometimes wonder why my hubby doesnt seem to 'mourn' for Zach, but once I tell him my own feelings and ask him how it feels, it all becomes better. Men just handle such things differently.
Do talk to yr hubby abt yr feelings. Perhaps wld be gd to plan for a relaxing break away fr this all? I just came back from a gd trip to Japan. It was gd for us to spend coupletime and enjoy each other's company just like before we were preggy.
Do take care ... and take heart that you hv support fr your hubby ... (in a difft way).
** ps-maybe plan for a short trip during your fertile period?
Hi ladies..
Yesterday I watched Desperate Housewives then Grey's Anatomy..Did u all watch? Both had incidents of miscarriages..Was reminded of my ordeal..Felt quite sad when I watched..was teary too. My hubby dont understand why i so emotional..But men dont get it lah..Haha.
Yesterday I watched Desperate Housewives then Grey's Anatomy..Did u all watch? Both had incidents of miscarriages..Was reminded of my ordeal..Felt quite sad when I watched..was teary too. My hubby dont understand why i so emotional..But men dont get it lah..Haha.
thewife,
r those the ur AF symptoms? hw many weeks are u in now after ur d&C...
not sure abt reason that lead to the pain but i m very sure tat my AF is here...hehe.....this will be my 2nd cycle..however, not accurate liao as compared to my cycles before m/c...anyway will let nature takes it course....
SPREAD the AF dust to u....
charis,
dun be sad lah.....look on the brighter side..i understand hw u feel.....my colleague shared wif me her +ve result yesterday too......den it flashed across my mind...if i din haf this mishap, den i will b coming to the 2nd trimester liao...haiz...as u mentioned before..god has his plan....
r those the ur AF symptoms? hw many weeks are u in now after ur d&C...
not sure abt reason that lead to the pain but i m very sure tat my AF is here...hehe.....this will be my 2nd cycle..however, not accurate liao as compared to my cycles before m/c...anyway will let nature takes it course....
SPREAD the AF dust to u....
charis,
dun be sad lah.....look on the brighter side..i understand hw u feel.....my colleague shared wif me her +ve result yesterday too......den it flashed across my mind...if i din haf this mishap, den i will b coming to the 2nd trimester liao...haiz...as u mentioned before..god has his plan....
Charis,
ya watched Grey's anatomy, there will be one more episode abt a lady having c section , giving birth to 6 babies, but pre mature...
so real n touching....think one of the baby pass away....
thewife,
ya do not be too upset by ur husband reaction
communicate thru email or write a letter to him n tell ur emotions n feelings if he did not hv the time to talk to u...
at least thru reading ur words, he will understand better...
ya watched Grey's anatomy, there will be one more episode abt a lady having c section , giving birth to 6 babies, but pre mature...
so real n touching....think one of the baby pass away....
thewife,
ya do not be too upset by ur husband reaction
communicate thru email or write a letter to him n tell ur emotions n feelings if he did not hv the time to talk to u...
at least thru reading ur words, he will understand better...
happysunflower
New Member
Hi thewife,
I do agree with Coral. Men can get stressed up when they know they gotta perform.
Did you have a heart to heart talk with your hubby to find out his feelings about the miscarriage? There might be something inside him that he cannot forget or get rid off.
Hi Volf,
How are you getting on? Wow... Back from Japan already... Hope you have enjoyed Japan. Got pictures to see? hee... Japan is beautiful and I love it.
Some men are sad inside, but they just do not want to show it to their loved ones. Finding out each other's feelings about it will help a lot for both party.
I do agree with Coral. Men can get stressed up when they know they gotta perform.
Did you have a heart to heart talk with your hubby to find out his feelings about the miscarriage? There might be something inside him that he cannot forget or get rid off.
Hi Volf,
How are you getting on? Wow... Back from Japan already... Hope you have enjoyed Japan. Got pictures to see? hee... Japan is beautiful and I love it.
Some men are sad inside, but they just do not want to show it to their loved ones. Finding out each other's feelings about it will help a lot for both party.
Hi Lyn
Ya am back. Japan is so beautiful! Although it is already Spring, some parts around the mountains were snowing still! Otherwise, it was beautiful beautiful cherry blossoms everywhere ... told hubby that the cherry blossoms signify a new begining for the Japs and as well as for us ..
Am toying with the idea of TTC again ... but guess will wait for my 1st AF to come. Now, left a lil of the spotting....
How's baby doing?
Ya am back. Japan is so beautiful! Although it is already Spring, some parts around the mountains were snowing still! Otherwise, it was beautiful beautiful cherry blossoms everywhere ... told hubby that the cherry blossoms signify a new begining for the Japs and as well as for us ..
Am toying with the idea of TTC again ... but guess will wait for my 1st AF to come. Now, left a lil of the spotting....
How's baby doing?
Hi charis,
ya dun be sad, sometimes watching these '-ve' shows won't help us, in fact I had to be strong so that it will not affect my hubby too much. My sister in law is also pregnant, due in July, mine was supposed to be Oct, after the m/c I dun feel like meeting his relatives cos my MIL big mouth go and tell everyone, i dun want them to give me the sympathetic look.
and last 2 days, my hubby has tried to be very nice to me, cos i think he's guilty, so I'll do my part to make it less stressful to him. The main prob. is that he thinks that I BD cos of babies, not him, so I'll not say the word 'baby' in front of him.
Hi d-woof,
Its been 4 weeks after my d&c....waiting for either AF or ovulation..cannot gauge cos I've ultra irregular mense.
Hi Volf20,
Im also waiting for mine, how many weeks after the d&C?
ya dun be sad, sometimes watching these '-ve' shows won't help us, in fact I had to be strong so that it will not affect my hubby too much. My sister in law is also pregnant, due in July, mine was supposed to be Oct, after the m/c I dun feel like meeting his relatives cos my MIL big mouth go and tell everyone, i dun want them to give me the sympathetic look.
and last 2 days, my hubby has tried to be very nice to me, cos i think he's guilty, so I'll do my part to make it less stressful to him. The main prob. is that he thinks that I BD cos of babies, not him, so I'll not say the word 'baby' in front of him.
Hi d-woof,
Its been 4 weeks after my d&c....waiting for either AF or ovulation..cannot gauge cos I've ultra irregular mense.
Hi Volf20,
Im also waiting for mine, how many weeks after the d&C?