Support group - Miscarriages

[mkchewy]

Yeng,
pls join us in the other thread "Support for Mid Termination of Pregnancy" too.

My heart goes out to you.. do pm me too if you need someone to chat. I can't PM you as it's not switch on.

I lost mine at wk 22 (3rd Miscarriage) last May. And like this thread, the ladies on that site... was there for me supporting me till now.

Be brave and strong ! I been reading this site too all this while.. and you should know you are not alone on this journey. And these wonderful ladies are the one who been there, went through and fully understand what you have went through.

Don't give up yet !!

 

[twinkle_33]

stefie,

Thanks ~ Will try to enjoy my holiday and much needed rest as well. I'm currently taking 八珍精
+ 白凤丸. All taken in different timing to 補身體...Popping in folic acid as well. Not sure if I'll go TCM, should I? Any recommended?

Chewy,

Indeed support is important cos it felt quite lonely at times going thru it. I'll go to the thread you mentioned as well ...

 

[shiseru]

My menses came 4 weeks after the incident, i didnt do D&C coz my placenta was out shortly after I deliver my daughter. My gyane said we can try after the first menses.

I have been crying non stop for 2 months since knowing my baby has spina bifida, it was a tough tough period, my soul were gone i am as good as a dead person. My eyes were badly affected and my chest a little pain coz i cried too much and I cried too hard. Who dun right? But it's time to move on, they are not coming back but I am sure our little ones have felt our love during the last brief moments cradled under our wombs, they are now at a different plane watching over us.

 

[stefie2104]

Hi Yeng,

You are most welcome.

It depends on are you comfortable with TCM treatment or not. The medicine is quite bitter, I am drinking the brew type, heng I only need to drink once per week. The effect maybe quite slow, so must be patience. Some sinseh may expect you to see them every week, so be prepared.

I had 2 m/c so I think must really take care of my body, must tiao and bu my body before I get pregnant again. At least I am doing something to prepare myself

I am with Ban Choon Chan at Marine Parade Central. Some ladies here seeing Dr Zou at Ang Mo Kio and Pauline from Chong Poh at Serangoon North. Can read more at TCM threads.

Hths

 

[sunflower09]

Week 11 is already detailed scan?

Now that i think back, i was so close to my detailed scan when i lost mine. I was coming 10 weeks then. If only my preg held on right, i should be delivering anytime now soon.

 

[stefie2104]

Hi sunflower seed,

The detailed scan is optional, actually was for D/S. My Dr Hope was kiasu cos I had 1 m/c 2 years back. Maybe a good thing to find out earlier for the deformity, if not I will suffer more. And I can start again sooner.

 

[lux]

Girls.. you think our age anything to do with the MCs?? I realized most of us ard 30-35... I am 31 this year as well... goodness!

I am taking TCM medicine daily ... and god knows the pain I am going through because it is sure as bitter like nothing you ever taste before.

Yeng, Dont cry also never mind.. just dont bottle anything inside. I am still missing my babies 2 months after the incident and although I dont say out to the world I feel at ease to seek solance here. while my hubby, mom and dad think I am okay and forgot about the thing, I have never for 1 single day forgot about my babes.

Stefie, funny thing is that Pauline not pushing anything to me now and just eating the chinese medicine now. She told me frankly is just to build up my immune system because basically nothing wrong with me.. lets hope it continues this way.. Already the vitamins I sometimes take if remember sometimes dont if forget =P

Anyway me also KS.. right after mc ald stock up on the pregnancy kits online. =P Thats why my hubby so scare that I am trying to be pregnant right away!

 

[stefie2104]

Hi Ling,

Maybe Pauline only treat me like that. But I am happier with Marine Parade Sinseh so will stick to him.

Your "bitterness" will pay off

Just bear with the medicine.

Take your vitamines with your folic acid lah, sure won't forget.

Ha!! Ha!! It is good to be KS, prepare everyy tools available, once can TTC, don't wait liao. My neighbour just gave birth, I told my hubby about it. He so sweet, he said, "our turn will come" I really melt when he said that. Wow... He is so positive

So I must be positive too

Bring your hubby to see Pauline lah, say that even sinseh also give green light, then what is he waiting for. Don't wait too long like me waited for 2 years.

Our turn will come soon. Jia You

 

[stefie2104]

Btw if you want to bu, I found 1 stall in Kovan market sell quite nice black chicken soup. Good to drink once a while. This stall is somewhere near the Potian Wanton mee stall, the right corner. They also sell mutton soup and other double boiled soup. Do try, I will be having it tonight cos having evening class there. Hope in time for my class.

 

[twinkle_33]

Shiseru,

I didnt do D&C as well cos my placenta came out fully. Will seek 2nd opinion to justify our condition b4 we try again. I have chest pain oso due to the cries, I can identified ...fully understand your feelings. My mum cry when she saw me in dazed and not responding to her. I want to get well emotionally so my family won't be worried but the pain is simply unbearable.

Stefie,

I don't tink I can handle the bitterness of the TCM ... mayb after 6 months of TTC, I'll consider forcing myself to take it.

Ling,

Age does play a part but a lot of successful pregnancy in this age range as well. Should keep ourself positive ...

 

[shiseru]

Yeng, who is your gynae? Mine was Dr KT Tan from KK, she has cleared all my blood clot so I didn't experience pain or cramp after the delivery. There wasn't much bleeding too.

My mum also cried before we decided to end the pregnancy, she recalled her own experience, she had an ectopic pregnancy and had one of her fallopian tube removed but she was fortunate to have my brother later.

I received a call from KK today about my baby post mortem. The defect on my baby spine was very severe, the brain has fluid and 2 kidneys were fused into one, she said these are not genetic. But becoz my pregnancy is a NTD, I will be at higher risk than other women to have another with NTD. Anyway it seemed we have made the correct decision, we did not insist to bring her into this world, otherwise it will cause more heart ache to see her suffer.

 

[dreamiez]

Ling,

why is your TCM med bitter? you're seeing pauline as well right?

I find it hard to say emotionally healed. It's like a scar there, that will never go away. =/

just heard news that another friend of mine is preggers and due early next year. geez.. really seems like the world around me is all pregnant except for me.

shiseru: what's NTD?

 

[redqueen]

hi all:
I went to the TCM doc downstairs my house. He give me 2 times a day meds for 3 days and my dizziness is much better.

great to see this thread moving and positive.

Yeng you can always add the rock sugar if you are boiling your own soup. I usually quickly gulp it down and take a candy after.

HI Lynn: hugs...one day you will be ...

 

[stefie2104]

Hi shiseru,

Be positive okay

Your future pregnanies will be healthy one. Don't think too much about it. Did you gynae asked you to increase your Folic acid to 10mg instead of 5mg?

Hi Lynn,

you will have healthy babies in your arms to bring home, be positive.

Tomorrow I am going to Joo Chiat to pray to Zhu sheng niang niang. Pray for sticky and healthy babies.

 

[shiseru]

Ling, I think mine is call stillbirth coz it's more than 20 weeks & I chose to terminate the pregnancy so its not really consider a spontaneous miscarriage.

An increase in maternal age does affects the chances of miscarriage but most miscarriages is due to chromosomal abnormalities, there is not much that can be done to prevent them. One vital step is to get as healthy as we can before conceiving to provide a healthy atmosphere for conception to occur.

Stefie, are you taking 2x folic acid now? My gynae never ask me to increase the dosage, she only said to take it diligently. So in addition to folic acid from the gynae, I will try to intake food with folic acid, such as broccoli & oranges.

Lynn, NTD = neural tube defects. If women had a pregnancy that was affected by a neural tube defect, the risk of having another pregnancy affected by NTD is 2% higher than women who do not had one before, that's why one of the most important things we can do to help prevent serious birth defects in our baby is to get enough folic acid every day.

 

[lux]

Age does play a part but I wonder if it is our diet or whatever we are expose to ... so coincidental all of us so close in age group

Lynn, super bitter loh... Despite second boil, the colour of the medicine is still as dark and after drinking my hubby say I smell like a pack of herbs.... *grimace*

Stefie, thanks for the recommendation. =) At the same time my mum boiling soup every few days for me to bu still... My Hubby heard that from Pauline but he and my mum thinks.. too fast... =S
ANYWAY I am just letting it be for the next month to monitor my dowager when coming again.. just to make sure everything is okay. Why did you wait for 2 years? Is it a fear?

 

[chinlee]

Ages matters - I am in the same age category as you all. I am 34 this year. But I know of so many people who have healthy babies even after 35. One colleague had a first baby at 36, second at 38. Another one had the first at 37, second at 41. But both had miscarriages in between.

I believe for me, work stress played a big part.

 

[stefie2104]

Hi Shiseru,

I am taking 2x folic acid cos my gynae KS. He scolded me when I ask is it enough from Multi-vits with 5mg. He said must be pure Folic acid. So now I guai guai take 2 pills per day.

So my total folic acid intake is 11mg (2x 5mg folic+ Obimin 1 mg) Maximum per day a person can take is 15mg. My urine quite yellow cos of the folic I take. Now I like hippo keep drinking water to clear my urine.

Hi Ling,

I waited for 2 years cos we were busy with Holiday planning (3 holidays per year). Not really of fear. When ready this year, we TTC for 7 months then hit jackpot (we never use OPK or take temperature). So can TTC then just do it, cos not everytime will kena instantly.

Jia you

 

[lux]

Lousy Feeling about age.. now I really regret why dont try to get preggers early.. Think about it now is really stupid.. =(

Stefie me too TTC for a few months than get.. So I know is not you want you will get those kind. I wasnt that extreme as you on 3 holidays but we were doing backpacking for 2 weeks twice a year at different continents and think with kids I cannot fulfill our want to travel. We spent a great deal of our time as a couple apart due to relocation and studies. Eventually when we finally got a chance to savour couplehood for a period of time we were just too selfish to allow a kid to spoilt our plans.

Folly of youth... just like how we use to hate studies and look forward to working life... now if only we are students again..
sigh

 

[twinkle_33]

Shiseru,

It must be a hard decision to made ...I can feel the aches you must be feeling then.

My gynae is John Tee. Decided to seek other doc is not becos he's not good, but when I went to KKH there was no A1 & B1 ward available for admission so I have to go to lower class ward after a lady doctor in A&E told us it's inevitable miscarriage. We requested for John Tee but staff told us he does not attend unless it's A1 & B1 ...Throughout the waiting time no doctor attended me and we have tonnes of question and hoping they can do something to sustain the pregnancy. After 7 hours I had very bad pain & shivering all over then the junior doctor came and told my sis that having a miscarriage is common 5 weeks (I'm 21 weeks), my sis shouted at him and he never even apologized.

I was eventually transfer to A1 shortly and my water breaks. John Tee came and advise my husband that a normal delivery will be a better choice at this moment though the baby cannot survive. Nothing can be done to save the pregnancy. I was then transfered to delivery suite and he did a scan to see the baby's position. 3 hours later he came back and told me it's better to induce cos not good to drag too long. I gave birth in 3 hours later. He came again to my ward the next morning before I was discharged.

My husband and family are really angry how KKH handle my case and felt we deserved better. Maybe this is how structured hospital works but we've decided a private hospital will be a better for us next time.

 

[twinkle_33]

JTML,

Thanks for the tips. OK ...think if we want baby anything oso must try.

 

[lux]

Goodness.. is KKH that bad?!

When I was expecting twins I had made up my mind to go to KKH after my last visit to gynae because they were likely momo twins meaning in a same sac and sharing a placenta thus a lot of complication. Unfortunately didnt manage to make it. In terms of neo natal cases they are the only hospital that can be of most help and affordable compared to private hospital. Really tragic the choices we are given in Singapore...

 

[shiseru]

Yeng, I was with KKH private suite so mine has been well taken. The nurses and midwives are very helpful and polite. I chose the A1 ward becoz I dun want to be squeezing with other mummies (they are there to give birth but I was there for abortion) I paid more to have privacy and my hubby can stay overnight with me. My gyane wasn't there assisting my delivery, it's only the nurses and the midwives but they have done a good job. Shortly after I delivered, my gyane arraived and check on me and clear my blood clot. I gave birth to my daughter on 8 Aug 6.30am, then my head goggy and vomitted guess it was due to the jab I took to reduce the contraction pain.

Having said, if we can only get better service by paying more then it's pretty bad.

John Tee is the doctor who did a 2nd scan for me during the 20 weeks and confirmed that my baby is abnormal. I think they have seen too much and not able to show sympathy.

Come to think of it, I really dun remembered how i survived throughout that period. Everything happened so fast there was no time to think how to react and the next moment you know the baby was gone. God has made us go through a very tough ordeal.

 

[twinkle_33]

Ling / Shiseru,

Our choice for delivery was private suite as well ... John Tee is a senior consultant, good review on him so that's why we stick to him. Hubby don't want to take any risk cos we've waited 4 years to get pregnant. We never once thot we'll go thru the ordeal ... willing to pay more but no ward for us.

The nurses in A1 ward + delivery midwifes is good ...but I can't seems to say the same for the lower class ward. They want to help but were clueless or simply just ignoring us...The reality of $$! When I go private hospital, will check how they handle such case and whether the gynae will be the one attending us or not.

 

[mkchewy]

Yeng,

Sorry , I think it's drill down to pure luck as well. For me , I was at a private hospital on that fateful day just for contraction monitoring. Though the nurse in the labour ward, ban me from walking and going to toilet on my own. I had to press the bell for more than 10 mins before someone came to me.

So when I suddenly go into labour and shouting for help. 1 nurse came giving me the attitude face and told me just wait for the medicine given earlier to work, nothing can be done. The nurses totally ignore me throughout the day. Then, when things happen , I see a group of nurses appeared from no where. Though one of the staff nurse was really kind to me later , comforting me and preparing me for D&C. It didn't give me faith to return to that hospital.

Guess no matter where you go, it's a matter of timing , situation at the ward and pure lucks. I'm in the mist of considering going to KKH.

 

[shiseru]

That was crazy! Chewy did you feedback to the hospital? It was already emotional torturing and why the hack must we put up with these nurses' attitude problems? That outrageous!

I was quite pleased with KKH TPS. I was happy with Dr KT Tan and the services TPS has provided. I would probably go back to Dr KT Tan if I am pregnant again, but hopefully this time round she will monitor me more closely.

 

[dreamiez]

Hmm i guess age matters. I'm 24 this year. but my case is different. hubby only say its good we found out the problem early. so blessing in disguise?

stefie: i think pauline push is cause you're thinking of TTC-ing soon?

Ling: erh. i never take the boil ones. i'm taking the tablets and syrup form.

 

[dusty_gecko]

hi mummies

i just had a miscarriage on tuesday. only 9 weeks but had to do a d&c anyway. was actually so stunned when found that baby had no heartbeat that i didn't even ask what a d&c was and agreed to it.

i actually only found out i was pregnant last week. so i hadn't even gone for any scan yet. within one week, the extreme high of finding out i'm pregnant and the extreme low of miscarrying.

oh so sad! and so heartbroken, but still need to get on with life and care for loved ones around us.

 

[dusty_gecko]

and might i add, so insomniac. haven't been able to sleep since that day. once hb is asleep, i can't help thinking about it and crying. sigh.

 

[mkchewy]

Shieseru,
Hubby told me to 'let go' nothing can bring my Girl back. So we didn't do anything. He wasn't in town when it happen. I hang in there till the moment he arrived. I insisted on checking out at midnight to go home. I didn't care about any infection or fever or anything...

Dustee,
Hugs to you... It's difficult no matter how how weeks you are in. Please take good care of your self and do a mini confinement or so to help your body heal.

 

[shiseru]

Chewy such horrible memories we should discard it away and look forward. Although sometimes I find it hard to control my tears and will cry. Guess it really takes time to heal... but it's okay, we have support from family and friends, we'll managed and most importantly we can conceived!

dustee, sorry to hear about your loss. You must be really shocked to know you were pregnant and the next moment realised the pregnancy has failed *BIG hugz to you

Give yourself sometime to grieve, and be sure to do a mini confinement. When you think you're ready, try again.

 

[stefie2104]

Hi Lynn,

Maybe I looked desperate and loss. That's why she "push" all her stuff to me. She asked me to take 6 months to tiao, and not TTC so soon. So I guess it is not that I can TTC so soon for her to push all her MLM stuff to me. She maybe good, but the cost is too high for me to maintain.

It is okay for the $$ spent, just don't like the idea of her pushing all her MLM products to me.

At least I found another sinsei I am more comfortable with. Could be a blessing for me

Hi dustee,

sorry about your loss. Do cry if you want to, don't bottle up your sadness. Do a mini confinement and rest more okay. Take care, anything just pop-by here. The ladies here are all very nice and supportive

Be positive and move on.

 

[pixietree]

hi all, good to have found this post (i keep thinking why must it happen to me...but guess i am not alone)
i had my d&c yesterday....can't sleep and was surfing the net....was there an option not to do a d&c...tot it necy cos wasn't presented with any options...
is there anything i can take to strengthen my body and womb? i want to try immediately after my next AF

 

[dusty_gecko]

hi ladies, what does AF mean?

thanks for all your warm welcome

but yest had a bit of a scare. gynae called and said she sent the stuff removed from my uterus during the d&c to the lab, and the results were not very normal. "too much blood clots and too little pregnancy material" so she's worried it might have been an ectopic preg. i need to go back for scan tmr morning before the clinic even opens (coz her appt all packed).

sigh. don't they check all these things properly before they put you through a d&c? i mean, don't you at least confirm where my pregnancy was before you proceed with the d&c?

hi pixie. sorry for your loss too.

 

[shiseru]

pixie, some may chose not to have D&C and wait for the m/c to happen naturally but many will choose to have D&C becoz it's very emotional draining to continue carrying when one knows the baby was dead in the womb. If you have gone through a D&C, your uterus was scrap and the lining is thin, best to wait for 2-3 menses before TTC. I understand the feeling of emptiness but do not rush into things. Read this http://www.pregnancyloss.info/trying_again.htm

dustee, will this be your first follow up after the D&C? I would believe they will check before a D&C but I am not too sure becoz when I lost my baby at 20 weeks, my placenta came out complete so I did not do a D&C neither my gynae scan me during the check up after the incidents. Do you feel cramp and/or any abnormal bleeding? I think it's good that the gyane check so to ensure everything is cleared.

 

[joanne03]

Hi pixel and dustee
hugz hugz.. Hope time will passby faster for u to heal and for all of us to try again.. Sobzzz..

Hi gals
i am back after my batam trip.. I love the short getaway but cant really enjoy myself well due to keep think abt the pile up job makes me worry.. Hee... This mth dun dare take anymore off le.. This wk will be a crazy wk for me..Sigh.. Jus finish all the past post yesterday so didnt post anything till today..Till today af still play catching with me.. Wonder when will it come. Hope by this wk..hi shefie, has ur af here? Monday blues... Sadzzz

 

[pixietree]

Hi dustee,
pretty much went through the same thing as well...i did a scan 2 saturdays ago which showed strong heartbeat(first time at the gynae since I got preggie to confirm that i was preggie at 7 weeks)....and last sat, i had a miscarriaqe...i kept thinking what difference a week makes and wished i could have done something differently within the 1 week to prevent it.

thanks shiseru and joanne for the kind words....will be turning 32 soon and thought everything was going by plan so that i will have my first kid at 32....part of the reason why i want to try again soon

 

[shiseru]

pixie, it was very devastating for us to lose a baby at 20 weeks and I thought I will be having my first baby at the age of 35 and after 12 years of marriage. God gave us a surprise but it was short-lived. But I am not giving up coz I would love to bear my husband a healthy child. We are TTC again.

I am pretty grouchy and feeling a bit down nowadays too, becoz it's near Dec, which is my due date if I didn't lose my baby. A few who are preg around the same timing as me look so happy, of coz I feel very happy for them but somehow it makes my heart ache too, well i guess that is natural.

Saw my hubby tearing yesterday night before sleep, 我好心疼啊...

 

[su_yana]

Sorry for the intrusion.

Pixie, I encountered the same fate as you.
I got pregnant through IVF in July. I had my first scan when I was 6wks. Everything was fine. i had to go for antoher scan a week later.

That was when everything went horribly wrong. Though the sac had grown from around 3+ cm to 5cm, they could not detect heartbeat. A week later checked on it again and same thing, no heartbeat. I was asked to go for D&C.

Like you, I was also wondering what could have happen within 1week. If everything went well, i would have been around 20weeks pregnant. Now, it is just in my dreams. I took 7 years to get pregnant and I lost after 7 weeks. I am really hoping GOd will grant me another chance to get pregnant.

 

[stefie2104]

Hi Pixie,

sorry for your loss. Do cry if you want to, don't bottom up with sadness, not good for health. Do a mini confinement. Tiao and bu your body before TTC. Take care

Hi dustee,

AF=Aunty Flow = Mense.

Hi Joanne,

you are back

I am thinking of going to Harris again, maybe this month

My AF still not here, having bad mood swing, tired. Now for my health sake, start munching carrot, tomatoes daily.

Went praying at Joo Chiat Kwan Im temple to Zhu Sheng Niang Niang last saturday, hope everything will be smooth smooth one.

Hi Shiseru,

I also feeling down, and very sensitive cos AF coming. I cried again last saturday, cos was in the same lift as one of my pregnant neighbour.

My hubby was out with my Parents-in-law. Gets a bit piss off cos they went JB without me, I was shopping with my sis. It is actually very small thing, just that my hubby is insensitive to ask me whether I want to go or not. Then he just tell me off cos I threw temper at him, feel that he no longer care for my feelings. And I just broke down and cry. Very emotional even for small thing.

Today also, he wanted to pass our Harris batam voucher to his sis, I was so upset cos I thought we can plan for another get away trip. He was in a hurry, so just shut me off by saying no time to quarrel with me. My mood is really ups and down this few days. Hope things will stablise once my AF comes.

Today my last working day for this week, tomorrow will be on leave till Friday. Hope I can guai guai study for my friday exam, now having mental block.

We will have our chance to be happy mommies too. Be positive

Hi Ladies

We must be positive, even it is hard. Jia You together

Babydust to all

Have a good week ahead.

 

[pinky123]

Hi Gals,

Have been reading the thread silently and pop in now and then.

Hi Pixie and Dustee,

Feel so sorry for ur lost. Its always sadden me when I see new losses from this thread. But I always tell myself.

Things happened for a purpose. Though we lost our babies this round, maybe

.We are just not ready for them...
.Or they are not ready for us...
.Or it just plan to make us cherish more what we have and going to have in the next preg....

For me, I have a lovely gal and family. When we feel we are ready for the next baby, we have it in the second try!!! Things seem so blessed for us. Till suddenly I lost my baby in week 12. I cry and cry...

it make me feel better instead of keeping all the feelings inside me. Slowly , slowly, I get better and accept can it better.

You will grow stronger. The heartache will be there but you will learn to manage it, trust me.

For your love ones and urself, pick urself up and move on.

It have been a month now and my AF is backed and ending soon. I am now looking forward to TTC again and I know we will cherish more if we are fortunate to have another baby....soon I hope....

 

[joanne03]

Hello gals
sorry, jus want to announce.. My Af is here.. Yippy.. Jus now go toilet, wipe and can see slight red.. Hurray.. First time so happy to see af.. Haha.. Got to wait till after this wk then can really happy as am sianz of going to be heavy flow these days..;p but at least not weekend so will be best for me that it come today.. hee.. Sorry for lost control..

 

[stefie2104]

Hi Joanne,

Lai Hong Da ji

Can start planning for TTC liao

MY AF still KIV leh....

 

[joanne03]

Hi stefle
no leh.. i still need tiao for another two mths so cant ttc yet.. Already two time mc so very scare liao... At least i am hoping the tcm will regulate my menses to 28 days then no need wait too long.. First af more worry since it can be very late until after 12 wks then come.. Now i can rest at ease that all is finally over.. Sigh..still feel upset though.. Dun worry, am sure ur af will be here soon too..

 

[su_yana]

Hi Stefie,
I know it can be frustrating having no one to talk too.
My hubby is a nice person but i guess sometimes he is just too pre-occupied with his work that i feel he does not really bother about me too.
Actually, I just go through my miscarriage on my own apart having him by my side the whole day for my D&C. I will cry on my own and imagine happy and sad thoughts on my own too. I refuse to tell him coz i am afraid he will just brush it off too. Sometimes i feel he is a man with few words when come to this. I am not too sure why. This site serve as a fall back for me.
I hope all is well with you ...

 

[stefie2104]

Hi Joanne,

It is good start, Jia You

Take your time to tiao

Waiting for your good news

Hi Su-yana,

My hubby also, he is not that kind of Si Xin man. Sometimes his word can be hash when he is stress. He often travels, so I am also on my own, none of my friends experience M/C, so like you this website is my best friend and Ladies here are so warm, helpful and encouraging

We will have our chance to bring home healthy babies, don't give up okay

Jia You

 

[shiseru]

Jovial, maybe you are right. My hubby and I are married for 12 years only recently we wanted a baby and I got pregnant without giving much effort. Perhaps I was punished for taking things too lightly, but to have lost the baby at 20 weeks, I wondered if the punishment was a little too harsh. And to those who had multiple m/c, what have they done wrong?

Do good people have good karma? 好心真的有好报吗?

 

[su_yana]

Hi Stefie,
we can share our sorrows together here. Perhaps in the near future, we will share our happiness too. Hope it will not take long for us to bring our healthy baby home.

Like what you said, no other woman can understand how we feel unless they themselves had gone through before.
I usually have flashbacks when I am alone. At work, somehow, I am able to put on a smiling face and face everyone.
Sometimes I just wonder if that is really me or someone else. I guess there are so many things that happen to me that I can just brush it off when need to.

 

[stefie2104]

Hi Shiseru,

I also kept thinking what did I do wrong, I never do any bad deeds, then why should I suffered 2 m/c. Bad hearted people also can have healthy kids. Bad things also happens to good people. So don't take it too hard, it is just life. Be positive and more on

Jia you

Hi Su-yana,

All the pain and suffering make us better mothers. God closes one door, He will open more doors for us.

Me too, have to be strong in front of others. Once home, only my dogs understand me. Give me lots of warmth, kisses and hugs (I hugs them) when I need them. They are real Gem, so lovely and sweet. They are really like my daughters

 

[pinky123]

Hi Shiseru,

Understand how u feel. I still do feel down sometimes (and we blame ourselves too, for taking things lightly), but I choose to believe, believe that every happening in our lives is a lesson we can learn something from and grow stronger later.

For my case, I start to take a step back in my normal hectic life. I start to appreciate more of my life, my hubby, my family....

There is no straight answer and it will never have whether 好心真的有好报, whether we are punish for taking things too lightly.

But like what you have mentioned in earlier post, we should be grateful, "most importantly we can conceived!". I know of couples who tried very very hard but....

We should really cherish what we have and JIA YOU together. Our wish will be granted.

That's what I believe.