Support group - Miscarriages

SimMama,

I am sorry to hear about your lost. Do a proper confinement to 'tio' your body for your next pregnancy.

May I know where are you having your massage to push up your 'zi gong'? How many session you need and how much is per session? Can share with me as I also have low 'zi gong'.

Thank you.
 


Hi Cherise,
I think it's perfectly sane to be emotional at this time. We r afterall humans with a heart. Moreover, we used to be tightly connected with our unborn babies. My hubby never understand this.....Luckily, i came here and had encouragement from many too. I learnt many things here and is still learning...Take yr time to recover & Take care....I am too learning how to cope with my "sensitive tear ducts" ...Always can't control it when i watched tv programmes or movies
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Hi Bryest & Coolwater,
Sorry abt the mistake. The msg was actually to Coolwater. tr = teacher

Hi Grateful,
I'm glad tat things are turning good for you. Take care. I hope in no time all of us here will be a mother-to-be too.
 
Cherise

Take care. My Sister in law's baby died at 5 months too. Same thing. Heartbeat just stopped. Now she has a healthy girl. Most important to take care of yourself. By right you should be able to take maternity leave as long as you deliver 7 months and above, even if your baby is stillborn. You should check with your company.
 
thanks everyone...

its getting harder to cry now.. but a lot of things still going thro my mind... a lot of insecurities...

i just wan my baby back...
 
Hi Tany
I had my massage in JB., M'sia.
If you are interested I can PM you the address.
They charges RM39 for an hour.
Is the massage lady that told me that my 'zi gong' is down. Guess tis is their expertise.

Dear Cherise
You have to be strong, drink more 'Ba Zhen' soup and take 'Ba Fong Yuan' from Eu Yan Sang. Its helps to nourish your body.
 
SimMama,
Thanks for sharing the info.
Can you PM me the address? isit difficult to find the place coz i dont drive. :p
 
Cherise,
Sorry about your lost. I can understand wat u r going thru as I lost my baby during the 20th week. it all happened v suddenly, i was hospitalised for obsevation and my baby is still healthy and kicking, den on the 3rd day, i delivered my baby. imagine my shock, the Registrar who is attending to me ask me to cry but i cant cry due to the shock.

but after seeing my baby, i started to cry non-stop... lucky my hubby is v supportive, he took leave to stay at home with me during my confinement.

it is alrite for u to cry n think of your baby now. only time will help to heal your wounds. most importantly, talk to someone, your hubby, family, friends or even come here to chat with us. I find alot of console when I read this forum. I have been a silent reader for almost 1year.
 
tany, i am sorry but wat happen to your baby?

thanks.. i guess i need more time.. most of this time i am alone at home.. i tend to think a lot..
 
Cherise,
I dont know. suddenly i was giving birth to my baby... when i was admitted, the sonagrapher did do a detailed scan on my baby and everything is fine. my gynea also not sure wats wrong... i fall under the un-known category.
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ya being alone will make u think more. give urself some time to grieve... but u have to be strong. remember u still hv ur hubby, family n friends who love and care about you. so must recover soon okie. dont make them worry. alternative find a hobby, things to do or a target...

my hobby now is baking and my target is to lose wt and prep myself for the next pregnancy.
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Cherise,
i feel like giving u a tight hug.I can understand how u feel...it is indeed very difficult for u to let go.Now most imptly is to recover urself physically.I oso agree wf Tany tat being alone will make u tink more.Try to indulge urself wf some hobbies.
After my 3rd m/c(just last tues),i was mentally n physically drained...very frustrating,sad,moody..The more i stayed at hme,the more i anyhow think.I even hv bad dreams almost every nite.Luckily,my mum is wf me,she cheers me up,we went out for shopping(though economy bad),strolling.Now i feel much beta....though at times,i hate to c preggie women or women wf babies on the street.But i keep telling myself,i've to move on right?
At the same times,I try to explore more TCM to biuld up my health.Thks for all the caring ladies in the forum,who wrote n share their TCM info n their inspiring stories to encourage us.

Tany,
I've had 3m/cs,did all the tests n results r ok.I oso fall under "unknown" category.
I even hv thought of looking for a monk or taoist to try to find out wat i've done that deserve such punishment...karma or something...My hb discouraged me coz he said the more i know,the more i anyhow tink.

Sandy,einnoc
my hb is oso supportive but he oso doesn't reali know what i've been going thru.We've quarreled a few times coz i got very paranoid whenever he doesn't tak care of his health such as he doesn't tak multivitamin or fell sick.Unhealthy daddy=bad sperms=contribute to miscarriage too.
 
einnoc,
why not u chk wf ur gynae? Meanwhile,try to hold on BD until ur body is ready.Could it bcoz u were too stress or tired?

Technically,u shld refrain fr.sex for a month(to avoid infection).However,some gynae said it is ok to BD when bleeding stops.
 
Dear all,

New to this thead. I have my first M/C in Nov and have to go for 2 D&C cos there are left over tissue. Till now my mense is not here yet. Worried. Anyone have this incident before.
 
avocado,
I also have alot of QUESTIONS on why this happened? wat hv i done wrong? i always wonder how my baby is doing, is baby ok, is he taken care of, is he happy? i even went to "Wen Shen"...

my hubby ask me not to think too much. most impt now is to build up my health and prep my body for the next pregnancy.

Tangtang,
after my natural birth, i did not have to do D&C coz i push out my placenta in one pcs. Gynea did a scan for me and there is no more blood clot. But hor, my first AF only report 6-8weeks later.

You may wan to take Bai Fong Wan to regulate your menses. Alternatively, I would suggest that you go to your gynea for checkup.
 
Hi Tany & Cherise,
Me too....I been asking myself a lot of questions when my gynae couldn't explain why it had happened. Initially i even kept having nitemares but sometimes dream abt my unborn baby n once I could even see the face clearly...That makes me blame myself n my hubby more....Hubby also thought i got depression n he couldn't understand why i am so attached to the "tiny little bean"...Then i found this thread...and started going library to borrow fertility books... It sort of keep myself busy and prepare myself for my next pregnancy. Another thing i did was to Chao Du my baby as i kept having nitemares n dreams. Kinda let myself know where is my little one now....

Hi avocado,
Could it be that yr hubby's ego is refraining himself? My hubby is like tat too....He never wants to take health stuff... Kept saying a waste of $ and he could exercise to keep himself healthy which he rarely does lar....Hiaks....
Btw my gynae gave her consent to us during my previous visit. But i didn't forsee such a problem tat time so din ask her. Find it awkward if i call to ask abt tat.

Btw TangTang,
Has your menses been always irregular before m/c? Coz my gynae did warn me tat i may miss 2 cycles of menses due to my irregular menses. Therefore, my mil cook Bai Fong Wan for me to induce my menses.
 
avocado, einnoc, tany

I wan to recover, but i realise i could not really control my emotiions... i got agitated easily then i wanna cry... i dunno what i should do.. i am doing confinement now.. everything is so inconvenient.. bathing and all. it just gets on my nerves.. i wan to go out but all my frens are working.. i really dunno how... and i am always afraid that my bf goes out and comes home late.. i will cry and cry...
 
Cherise,
I m glad u hv the determination to get well but give urself some time. I know it is not easy to control ur emotion now, coz u just had the m/c. this is natural. i took a few months to totally recover. now when i think of my baby, i hv happy memories when he is inside me and whenever i went for scanning.

keep cool okie. do a proper confinement now coz ur body is weak during this period. u may wan to do some meditation or deep breathing when u r feeling frustrated. Read story books, watch ur favourite DVD or rent some movies to watch. Have a talk with ur bf and make known to him how u r feeling now. Let him know u need his support and perhaps he can spend more time with u now. or u can come here to rant ur frustration.
 
like just now... for no reason the water pipe in my toilet just burst and i could not do anything about it. the room was flooded with water and i am dripping wet all over head to toe.. i could do nothing but keep wanting to cry.. when everything's over and all cleaned up.. all i can do is to cry and cry...
 
Hi Cherise,
I understand how u feel. When i lost my baby, everything seems to go wrong. Everything i do or see, i'll want to cry. I just don't want to face anybody. Just wanna lie in my bed and cry. I will even stare blankly and just cry.

However, people around me ask me to look on the bright side. There are still people around u who care about u. We have to move on and take care of our health. What you need to do now is to get well so that you will have a healthy baby soon. We will jiayou together. Don't despair yeh. We will all be here for u.
 
Hi Tany,
I just lost my baby too. Was very devastating when my gynae told me my baby's heartbeat stopped. I kept asking God why would such things happened to me.

It's only when i came here that I realised I am not alone. The people here have been very encouraging. The more important thing now is to take care of our health. I'm sure we can have good news soon and have a healthy pregnancy and baby.
 
bryest,
exactly one year ago. Gave birth to my baby naturally, no induce and no epi. No D&C done. my AF went haywire after m/c... TTC after 3 cycle ba... so far hv not strike yet... considering IUI/IVF now.

yes hv seen 2 TCM, first sinseh did accupunture for me and given me herbs to drink but leh her herbs not suitable for me, so i stop.
2nd sinseh say i do not hv enough QI, i hv taken he medi for 4 mths. stop now coz i dieting now... hubby said to concentrate on one thing at a time, otherwise wont know which one works. so when i achieve my ideal wt, will proceed from there onwards.
 
Hi Tany,
Sorry, do u mind telling us how old u r? If you are still young, can TTC again. Don't have to consider IVF yet.

Which TCMs did u visit?
 
My good fren's wife baby just pass away at 29 weeks. Not sure what happen as he didn't want me to know. He only told my hubby and ask him not to let me know but i found out. The sad thing is, his wife EDD is same as mine. I really wonder how to comfort him now. Plus his wife also have a previous m/c too.
 
Hi..

I am experiencing very painful pain juz below the astomach.. is it normal..

Juz checking after the D & C, when will the 1st menses come huh?

Me hasn't come yet??
 
Hi ladies,
Anyone has good recommendations for gynae, especially for people who have miscarriage before? Thanks.
 
Hi Einnoc
My menses is always prompt. I have 2 D&C, one in Nov and the other one on Dec 08. I have stomach dicomfort so I went to see my gynae, was given medicine to regulate the menses but till now my menses not here yet. My gynae has advised me to go back to see him in 2 week time. 5 mths alg, still have not come. I was very worried.
 
Hi,
My cramps stopped 1 week after my D&C. However, after the 2nd week, i had cramps again. Is it normal? There's yellow discharge as well.
 
bryest,
i old already.... 35 le... time is not on my side anymore... once i am at my ideal wt, i will go for IVF....
 
hi, sandy.

1st menses usually come 1 month after D&C.

bryest,

i think mild cramps should be ok. Have you gone for your gynae followup check?
 
hi bryest and tanny

thanks a lot.. its really hard to get thro.. but i hope i will be stronger.. but cos weekend my bf is with me so i am like kinda normal.. but now its back to those times alone.. hope nothing crops up...

wats D&C and IVF?
 
Hi Cherise
D& C (Dilation and curettage) refers to a procedure that involves the processes of dilation and removal of uterine contents, which includes the more common suction curettage procedures of manual and electric vacuum aspiration.

IVF (In vitro fertilization) is a process by which egg cells are fertilized by sperm outside of the womb, in vitro. IVF is a major treatment in infertility when other methods of assisted reproductive technology have failed. The process involves hormonally controlling the ovulatory process, removing ova (eggs) from the woman's ovaries and letting sperm fertilise them in a fluid medium. The fertilized egg (zygote) is then transferred to the patient's uterus with the intent to establish a successful pregnancy.
 
Tany..

its called laughing gas i think.. will make u "high".. u breath that if its too painful.. usually when u are in labour u will need if u are not using epidural
 
Hi Tany,
Are you trying for your 1st baby?

Hi Freesia,
My gynae will only do a follow-up check up after 3 weeks, i.e. this coming sat. Heard that cramp means still got blood clots inside. Should see a gynae imeediately. Is it true?
 

Hi, bryest.

For my case, i only had cramps during 2nd - 4th day, and my bleeding was very very light. A pantyliner was more than sufficient...

Is your cramps bearable? If ok, maybe you hold till Sat, but must let your gynae know on Saturday that you are still cramping.

Avocado, my POC results are out. It's a trisomy 8. The genetic report says this problem is sporadic and not likely to be caused by parents. So i'm back to square 1! Anyway, i've requested to test my hubby's and my chromosomes, just to be very sure. Another 2 weeks wait. Sigh...
 

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