Support group - Miscarriages

[snow_xue]

Hi all,
It's weird that i dreamt of my unborn child every nite since i know abt the unfortunate shrinking fact. The most vivid dream i could ever remembered was the day before i was suppose to d&c, i dreamt that i delivered him and was carrying him in my arms....Just a short while and i woke up.

When i woke up, I had to go for my d&c in the morning. It was a traumatising experience. Coz while waiting outside the theatre, i heard newborns crying next door(could be delivery rooms)! It was so ironic and i just felt so sad & guilty of not being able to hear my own bb crying like they do.

Hi Mrs Puff,
I believe my 2nd gynae's scan was not clear so she measured it to be 13mm. But comparing my 1st gynae's scans(had 3 scans with my 1st gynae), it was from 4mm to 6.5mm then back to 4.5mm. And when it was 4.5mm, the heartbeat couldn't be seen anymore and the waterbag was irregular shape. Therefore she suggested either natural or d&c. But as cny is just round the corner, she suggested a d&c as she will be abroad.

 

[smurf_ling]

charis
i still pop into this thread occasionally... *hug*hug*.. please be strong okie? looking forward, at least ur plans will not be hindered for the time being..

 

[snow_xue]

Hi all,
anyone experience severe cramping just 3 days after d&c? N staining almost cleared in just 2 days?

 

[schnauzie]

Mrs puff- just did the chromosome test..cost $450/pax at private lab. Cannot use medisave.

so will cost a couple $900.

 

[sashamama]

Hi einnoc,
I experienced that and it was so severe I had to go to A&E at 3am. But my staining cleared only 2 weeks plus later

Doc said I caught an infection, I actually felt labour pains, contractions, pain like hell... And the weird thing is I've already done my D&C a week ago, and when doc scanned, no big clots le.

 

[avocado_22]

Hi Smurfy

How have you been doing?

 

[mrs_puff]

How's everyone? Hope you girls are feeling ok. I'm going for my D&C this Thursday, just a day short of my birthday. I can't believe my birthday present will be the day I lost my 3rd baby. I feel like I don't have the mood to celebrate. Nothing else makes me more happy than the gift of a special human life.

einnoc,
for all my D&C procedures, i didn't suffer any cramping afterwards then again, i always did a mini confinement with traditional Malay massage to dispose of any tissues and clots that D&C cannot remove. maybe i could advise the rest to do the malay massage too to avoid the cramping. just tell the lady that you just had a miscarriage and she'll know what to do.

 

[schnauzie]

Mrs Puff - sorry to hear abt it, be strong *hugggzzz*

 

[funne]

mrs puff, can i have the contact of malay massage?
i had chemical miscarriage few wks ago. my gynae said i don't have to go for d/c although my discharge only last for few days.
quite worry that the tissues still in my body.

 

[smurf_ling]

hi avocado
i'm doing well i guess... i'm into my 12th weeks now and will be going for the oscar test this sat.. bb is growing despite me losing weight (due to bad MS)..as much as i hate the ms, i do get worry when the symptoms disappear for more than 1/2 day..how are u getting now? any good news for the ladies in this thread? u were seeing a tcm right?

mrs puff
tis is very hard for u i know... but pls be strong... at least for ur 2 girls...

 

[snow_xue]

Thanks Sashamama,
The on and off Cramping only lasted at most 1 hour for those 2 days....so i just endure it. Now recover le. The Staining came back one day later but very little.....so still keeping my fingers cross that it will be cleared of all tissues soon.

Hi Mrs Puff,
I guess the most important thing is for you to nurse back your health...Jiayou. Let's Jiayou together...Mine was a wk ago...Still sad over the lost.

I'm so sick of crying everyday and looking like a goldfish in the morning due to puffy eyes. I have decided what done cannot be undone but to try to prevent it from happening again. Thank you to all the girls here who had supported and encouraged me. Mrs Puff, let's work hard together and nurse our health together.

Hi smurfy,
Jiayou. I used to get really bad MS and really can't eat anything except Milo and biscuits. So had to eat very very small meals.... but many times a day.

Oh yar,
Anyone has recommendations for a good TCM who can sustain pregnancy and tiao "Liang" womb?

 

[piggym]

hi mrs puff,
lets jiayou together ok? mine lost was 2mths ago and till now i m still feeling sad over it.

hi einnoc,
where do u stay? my tcm is in the east area.

 

[naivesg]

Hi Mrs Puff, Piggym, and the rest....Jia you Jia you.

How r u Mrs Puff? Hope u r okie.

 

[Castle House]

Hi

I am lost now.. Just came back from consulting my gynae and cannot detect heartbeat...doc asked me to go back next week again to confirm... if really cannot detect.. prepared for the worst.. and I started crying...

Can anyone advise me what is D & C? How long the process.?? What happen to the foetus? How many days MC?

So sorry.. if it upsets you by asking all these.. but I am really not expecting anything like this when gg to my gynae..

 

[darling_princess_wife]

hi mummies...
i might b going thru a threatened m/c... haiz...
by lml already 8.3 weeks...
but still cant see baby...

waiting for another week before my gynae comes to a decision...

 

[snow_xue]

Hi piggym,
I stay in Sembawang but dun mind the distance if the TCM has good reviews. If you dun mind, can pm me the details?

Hi Sandy and i m urs,
Sorry to hear that you guys may have to go thru our bad experience. When i was told to do d&c, i can't think at all so i didn't do much research before it.

Sandy,
Someone mentioned in this thread that it maybe better to have a natural mc instead. If there are remaining tissues, then do a d&c also not too late. Must be caution of the possibility of infection though.

A D&C is a day surgery which evacuates our womb by using some apparatus. Involves scraping etc.... Here are two websites that explains briefly:
http://www.netdoctor.co.uk/health_advice/facts/curettage.htm
http://womenshealth.about.com/cs/surgery/a/d_and_c.htm

If the fetus is bigger, gynae will probably recommend D&E instead. Heard that D&E is actually kinder to our lining instead, as it involves no scrapping. You may like to check with others.

Next, i made A terrible mistake. I was in too much despair n kept crying.....Never ask my gynae. In the end, the hospital never even let me have a final look!

Some of the ppl requested to send their fetus for tests. But i dunno how much. Some will settle with the hospital to cremate. Therefore Pls consult yr gynae on what he/she will do with your fetus b4 your d&c no matter how devasted you are! There maybe choices for you.

MC- dunno the standard no. of leaves. I heard ppl of getting 1 wk. I have 2 wks. But was told that if i'm not well, i can go back to get one more week.

Actual procedure is 20 to 30mins, excluding the waiting time.

i m urs,
Meanwhile, hang on. It's gd to give one more week. Also, u can request to do blood test to check whether the level increase(i think its the hcg level).

Hi Mrs Puff,
Hope you are getting better.

 

[Castle House]

Hi snow_xue..


Thanks for the explanation..

Gynae did ask me to look out for brown discharge incase may be natural mc..

How to have natural mc? So far.. I am not experiencing any cramp or anything... normal..

I have also been crying since yesterday... till now...when I am typing...

Pls advise what can we do with the fetus? If the hospital send for cremate.. do we carry back the bones?

 

[darling_princess_wife]

sandy, dont give up hope yet...
stay positive till u meet ur gynae next week k...
i m trying my best to stay positive too...
jia you...

 

[Castle House]

Hihi...

Thank you.. I will try to be positive... we jia you ok...

I have always been an optismistic person.. but I think I cannot accept the fact that this bb and I 'bo yuan'

Hb is more stronger than me... keep on saying wait till next week too...

 

[snow_xue]

Hi Sandy,

Too much crying is really not gd for baby. Actually i cried 3 times during my short pregnancy and coincidentally after the 3 times, i had spotting! So i would say crying has certainly affected my baby.

Btw the 2 weeks of mc i had is actually hospitalisation leave wor.

Btw natural mc i really dunno as mine was during just one wk b4 CNY thus my gynae said it's better to do a d&c.......

i m yours and Sandy,
Jiayou wor.

 

[tryagain]

hi ladies

For natural MC, other than let the blood/tissue flow out and clear itself, what else can we do? Can we take any medicine?

 

[darling_princess_wife]

sandy,
my hubby also... he say he nv lost hope for our little junior until gynae concluded... ask me y i give our little one a death sentence so early...
anyway, i m also on hospitalisation leave until i c my gynae this coming fri...
when u going back to ur gynae... whose ur gynae?? 1st pregnancy ma?

 

[Castle House]

Hi i m urs...

Ya.. hb oso said nothing is final so don't think too much till we see gynae next week...

I am gg back next Mon.. nurse there suggested Mon.. cos more time to rest...

No... in fact my third pregnancy... so was quite upset and shocked to hear the news...since I have two successful pregnancy... but hb still hasn't given up..and told me not too...

We stay positive ya..

 

[piggym]

hi sandy,

stay positive ok. I had m/c at 5mths plus.. and now in th process of healing.

Regarding ur qn on creatmation:
u can choose to bring back the fetus and arrange for the creamation.
for mine case, i choose and undertaker to collect my fetues to be send to Mandai for creamation.
It depends on what religion you are in.

 

[piggym]

hi i m urs,
stay positive too.
I know how u feel as I have been thru it before.

 

[piggym]

hi sandy,

I have done a D&C and was under anathestic(dunno how to spell).
the process is rather fast abt 20mins.
for me I took abt half hr to wake up after the D&C.

Anyway, sandy do stay positive! be strong.

 

[Castle House]

HI piggym... ya I will stay positive.. .. and hoping for a miracle now... that heartbeat can be detected next week...

 

[darling_princess_wife]

sandy,
you going back to gynae today? or 1 more week's time?? i will be going back on this fri...
cant imagine how to get back to work after so much hospitalisation leave...

 

[Castle House]

Hi..

I am gg back next Mon.. till now.. we just can just stay positive.. and hope for miracle..

 

[darling_princess_wife]

yup... stay positive... and how lucky we are to hv so gd hubby... hee

 

[Castle House]

hehehe.... yup.... we cannot give up hope yet ya.. for bb and our and our hb's sake..

Is this your first?

 

[darling_princess_wife]

yup...
1st preggy... got preggy before my actual day... went for honeymoon... didnt know i was preggy...

 

[Castle House]

Oh... stay positive ya...

 

[piggym]

hi snow xue,
I have PM u.

 

[Castle House]

Sigh....today got abit of brown discharge... don't know whether to go and see my gynae bo.. or still wait..

 

[tryagain]

hi ladies

Anyone can help? For natural MC, other than let the blood/tissue flow out and clear itself, what else can we do? Can we take any medicine?

Cos my fren wasnt given anything to take from the gynae. She was told to just let her menses flow and it will clear by itself then go back to scan see got anything left inside. She is grieving her mc now, so i am asking on her behalf. Anybody know?

 

[darling_princess_wife]

sandy,
of my 3 gynaes, i hv 1 gynae that said, discharge / bleeding cant tell u abt the baby.. brown discharge could be past bleeding...
i hv discharge until i sian... so long as no bleeding, i m ok...
c ur gynae soon if u worried...

 

[bluberi]

piggym, my last gynea visit aft my 2nd m/c, gynea said my womb is cleared except for some blood.. so i supposed dat explains the blood clot i haf during my period.

been testing on OPK since CD10.. tink oni CD20 den i got a darker test line than other days. wonder does dat means i got ovulate anot.. i've been charting my BBT on fertility friend for last few cycles, but it always cannot detect my Ovulation day.

 

[sadz]

Hi Gals,
Can I join all of you... ;-)
Had actually pregnant for 6-7 wks finally after try out for 5 yrs. But when do scanning yesterday... I lost it. ;-( doctor say can't see anything... Very upset... not sure wht to do now.. after bt, doctor say my menses shd come naturally soon.. no need do D&C. But am sure going to blood alot and cramp alot this time after 2 mths... sigh... anyone has the same expereince as me?? When can I start try out for one more kid again? Will I be more fertile after such thing happen to me??? Has one son now... at 6yrs old. He is sooooo lonely... really pains me... I actually usethe termometer to measure my temperature for many years too.. may I know I shd ovaluate when the temperature is at the lowest or suddenly shot up that time? I remember for my 1st kid, I do when my temperature is at the highest in the morning and I strike... but this time there is no use at all due to I am not ovaluting at all... so I do SO-IUI.. manage get pregnant at one time but still lost it recently... not sure is it due to it is IUI so easier lost it... unlike my son who I conceive naturally... sigh and sad... can anyone advise should I try naturally for next few months or go into IUI again from next month onwards...really do not wish towaste more time as I am already 34yrs old. WHAT SHOULD I DO TO HAVE A PERFECT PREGNANCY??? sob...

Hi I am urs,
Surprise to see your name here too... do think positive, as u still got chance... unlike me... sad only...

 

[Castle House]

Hi..

My bb has said goodbye to daddy and mummy...

Am very depressed till now.... can't sleep.. can still having my bb in my mind....and start to cry..

Hi sadz... you can start to try again... according to my gynae... you should be very fertile ... don't give up ya...

Take care.. will pop by once in awhile...

 

[avocado_22]

Hi Sandy

So sad to hear what had happened. Hope you will be strong. We are always here for you if you need listening ears.

Hi Smurfy

Happy to hear you are doing well. Wow so fast 3months liao. Another *blink* your bb will be in your arms liao. hehe. Is this your 1st child? Do keep us update on your progress to inspire us. hehe.

 

[darling_princess_wife]

sandy...
stay positive... hugs...

joanne...
i came here to keep myself prepared... i guess as mummies, we know what is happening to our body...

i will know the outcome tmr... actually, v relectuant to find out the outcome also... all i can do is stay positive till tmr... and worst... tmr is my hubby bday...

 

[sadz]

hi sandy,
Lets hug and cry together..
Sorry to hear wht happen to u. I know the feeling,i cry when alone at nite too. Did u conceive this bb naturally? Me too had oreadi got a boy conceive naturally, not sure why this time like this..maybe due to i do iui as i dont ovaluate well every mth.. Really, will we be more fertile? Hope i can ovalute myself better after this cycle. Will try natural 1st.. Take care..
Hi i am urs,
Why think so negative when its still ok 4 u? Mus oways stay positive k.. U will see ur bb heartbeat 2moro..

 

[darling_princess_wife]

joanne...
i m fine, trying to stay positive...

 

[Castle House]

hb took leave to be with me... he is very sweet... know he is trying to keep me away from thinking too much...

I will be strong.... and still hoping for an OX bb....

sadz... yes... very fertile now.. so don't give... mine is natural.. so gyane said.. can start all over again.. if bb no good.. no point keeping.. cos all will suffer in the mind... he said is a blessing in disguise that bb choose to leave us.....

i m urs... you stay positive ya...

 

[ariajo]

joanne,
My sil just like you, try for more than 5 years then get pregnant with her second one but she never attempt to try IUI.. she's older than you btw. so, dun give up ok? you're not too old! see zoe tay..recently my SIL's SIL who is over 40 also got pregnant!

now to answer back some of your questions, yes, i heard that we're fertile after D n C as our womb will be very clean. i also heard of horror stories of gynae who over do the D & C and scar the womb. So, i asked my gynae abt this when i did my D & C. Yeap, i miscarried when i was carrying my 1st baby. No heartbeat at all from the beginning! Anyway, my gynae told me she will not scrap the lining too much/deep. So, i just trust her. I believe she did a good job because 3 months later, i got pregnant and now my girl is 15 months old

I did my own mini confinement.. I drink chicken essence, bought "she quan ta bu" and any nutrious soup i can find from the NTUC or EYS and cooked for myself for 2 weeks.. I was so "bu" until nose bleed. No joke..haha..after that i stop and then onwards I drink DOM at night to warm my womb. So, may be you want to try this too.

If i were you, i will wait it out since your gynae could not even detect a gestational sac? May be wait for a week or 2? Did you gynae tell you when you'll be expecting your mense if you choose to wait?

For me, i have a gestational sac and also a small fetal pole, so my gynae advise me to go for D & C. Probably you will have a heavy mense that last longer with blood clots. Once your mense stop, you can start to do your mini confinement.

You take care and jia you!

 

[sadz]

Hi Ariajo,
Thank u... sob... for all ur tips..
may i check with all of u... u drink DOM even after ur Ovaluatin?? What if kenna pregnant just after O? Can still drink DOM?
How about ur daily confinment food?? Normal or cook with Ginger for all meals??
Ok, I will go buy some tonic for myself then... thk u thk u... may I know wht else did u do to get urself pregnant sooo fast after ur confinement? Only drink DOM??
Hi I am ur,
Think positive.. jia you!!

 

[sadz]

hi ariajo,
U mean we shd bu after menses?not during menses come? Hope to hear fr u soon..

 

[ariajo]

joanne,
yes, bu after your mense or you can start after 1 week your mense lah. i drink DOM everynight during my mini confinement. then after drink every night before ovulation. good, you're indeed very "xi xin"

good start! i didn't do much, just drink dom and every now and then boiled the nutrituous soup for myself. and of course let nature take it's course again and try to be relax. i suspect my case is a bag egg got fertilized because the month i tested +ve i was quite sure i ovulated way ahead but got pregnant anyway. so i felt a bit strange and sure enough the pregnancy was not viable. anyway, don think too much. You should be fine

Jia You!

Jia You to all mummies in thi thread too

 

[darling_princess_wife]

hello...
me pronouced not preggy le...
did an evacuation of the womb, rested for abt 3 hrs before the nurses let me leave the day surgery...
gynae didnt want encourage natural m/c coz wont know when the bleeding will start, and might b tramuatic..
gynae say give 2 months for recovery, then can try again...
haiz... trying to stay positive...